bpdshan
p a r a n o i d
Shan. Mental illness/vent blog.BPD, CPTSD, AuDHD, autoimmune & chronic pain/fatigue. They/Them. Ok to rb unless otherwise stated. Main Blog: @toou ——————i’m experiencing poverty and my physical condition is degenerative (i’m still under specialist investigation) Donation links for food and living essentials are pinned below. Thank you SO much to those who have helped out 🖤)
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worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean
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if i won the lottery id possess so many useful disability aids
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i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.
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current goal: make it through the week
long term goal: make it through all the weeks
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i need to remember that if i get a very sudden flash of nausea, it probably means that im going to faint, not be sick, and that i should lay down immediately.
last night i rushed to the bathroom because of it but ended up collapsing onto the dirty floor. i should’ve just stayed in bed, but it really felt like i was gonna throw up in the next 10 secs. why is my body such a trickster
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If you break pinkie promises you’re a weirdo and I hate you
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you cant flatten yourself anymore. because of the woke
there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d
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wish they could roll my spine out with a gigantic steam roller like in the good old days
there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d
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there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d
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got myself outside to the shop for the first time in a while. now my nose is runny and i can’t stop sneezing. i got outside cooties
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“communication is key” i say, as i ghost all the people i care about because i cannot express my feelings due to trauma
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and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
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just less than a month till my scan,,, i have no idea what to expect regarding the findings
quite an anxiety provoking thing, but the sooner the better
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not to be weak on main but I kinda miss not being in excruciating pain 24/7
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food bank apple your size too tiny, your swagger too different. they’ll kill you food bank apple
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yippee !! looks like i’m getting a levothyroxine trial !!!
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