i ww a nn a remmmak e my main ann d s tart over ag a i n imm so fucki g n paranoid now ffu ck fuc kf uc kk imm shaki gn

I dd don t know wha t i did idk imm probbabl y a terrible person ?? ??? i wwa s a bad friend to him i Ddo n t know wha t i ddid b u t iw ann t tot ake it all back im sor ry im sorry im sorry

mm y frie nn d’s mom jus t messageed  mm e saying i sexuall  t  y took adventage o ff him ii d don t know wha ti i did i d ont know wwh a t to doo m y frien d mea ns so much tt o me  sshe s telling  mm e t o cut contact AAnd I DONN T KNOW WW HA  T I DI D IMM HAVI GN SUCH A  TT  ER RIBLE PANIC ATTACK FFU CK FUCK WWHA T    D I D I DO

me: you know what i dont think i actually have feelings for him, i just overanalyzed it as usual

me: *sees him at the mall*

me: : =3 ) i am a beacon of sin

i told twwo of my friends abt him and the y were like like “ rEALLY ???? BUT HOW ?? WHY HIM ??? “ ugh i feel like mourning for some odd reason

he said “ you deserved to win “ to me once and i can t stop thinking about that likee,,, oh geez

Im about to make a decision and i ,,dont know if this is going to be for the better or ..for the worse my intentions are .... . good as far as i know but i Am still so nervous to let go fuck Fuck ccan i do this ? SHOULD i do this ?

im 13 i just recently turned 13 in april im mature in a way sure why not but imm still just a kid ,, do i ....do i reall y need all this right now ? should i be putting so much stresss on my shoulders ?? idk idk IDk its making me anxious i

imm still trying to get my life in order ..i have an education to worry about i dont know jack squat about love or if i should even BE in a relationship im trying to take more care of my body a nd my mental health should i just,,,,,, i dont .....i dont know if i should just .. . .....cal l it off ???? i,, rreally dont know.

me: **gets happy at the thought of knowing he''s in several of my groups and in varsity with me*

my brain: HAHA so he makes you more happpier now does he ??? does tha t mean you're gonna leave your boyfriend huh ??? you gonna cheat ???

me: no i just appreciate him and i -

my brain: you really truly are a terrible person fallig n for someone else arent you ??? but WAIT, is thhis even romantic attraction ? is this jsut a phase ???? oh oh you're dissociating now ?? you're a mess why are you even taken.

i mm feeling extra brainweird this week : )  ) )

thhi s feels horrible to say but i get tired of the same thing gs easily and i tthink my brain just got so overwhelmed abt this guy and started to express it in supposedly “””romantic thoughts” bc the excitement and the anxiety of having a crush and aching for them to like you back was NEW for our brain but ?? ?? my brain doesnnt know how to categorize platonic or romantic so mos t of the time my feelings are just “ ??? ? ? ?” and iTS SO UNFAIR CAuse i knnow i already get jealous enough and i just wish ,,, , i dont know im not,a good partner. it s horrible bc it just seems like “”wwow im getting tired of this relationship cause the spark and excitement isnt as strong now imm gonna move on” and THATS !!! TERRIBLE BUT THATS HHO W MY BRAIN WORKS AND IMM SO FUCKED UP !!!!!

tffw u thought u were over a crush but “NNOPE!!!” : ) ) )))

i mm a mess of a person and i should probably be Alone tbh : )

i dont kno w what to do with myself .. .. . ......this is probably an idiotic thing to be so stressed out about but fuc kk man ,,,i jjust ..know im gonna mess up real soon idk what t o do bchhonestly id  dk i just don t know forget i said anything it s stupid imm stupi dthis  i s stupid

h hha a hha a thi s is never going to ggo away im in hell i m Lit e r alluy in mmy hell rightt now im so ufckig n mad i llet mysel f to do this to me TThis is s so bad imm horrible i m terribleee i i ccca nt  sto p thinking about it fuck fuc k fuck fuckk imm such  a god awful perons fuck fuc kf cuck

** listens  to ‘best friend’ s brother** nnOO   N O W TTF THE FUC C CK