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BPD || ADHD || NPD || ASPD traits/tendencies || ED || C-PTSD || Depression || Anxiety || Likes Leopard print, cigarettes, Japan, Vivienne Westwood, cherry cola, forests ♡
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Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.
Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.
Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.
AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.
Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.
Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.
People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.
Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.
❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌
I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.
❌ Some of my false positives:
- It is good to be afraid of nothing
- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you
- It is good to isolate yourself
- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want
- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned
❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:
- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me
- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine
- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere
- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral
- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed
My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:
- eat or be eaten
- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe
- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me
- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me
- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all
- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless
- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection
People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:
- are always anticipating a fight
- lack respect for authority
- ignore social structures to an extent
- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions
- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others
- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —
- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally
- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals
- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints
We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.
One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.
Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.
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behold; how the public sees cluster b personality disorders
-"omg haha ur crazy thats so hot"
-evil abuser disorder 1
-evil abuser disorder 2
-"whats that?"
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We have a right to exclude people like you from safe spaces for our safety and healing…
wow, okay.
we’re sorry, there are no results found for search: ‘we have a right to exclude people like you from safe spaces for our safety and healing…’
did you mean: ‘we feel entitled to be ableist to our sibling cluster b disorders based off of a handful of negative personal experiences with people unlikely to be even diagnosed with NPD and we just like to falsely label as being narcissists, so in response we make gross generalisations, misrepresent and spread aspersions and obscene amounts of misinformation, ultimately perpetuating stigma about the entirety of those suffering from NPD and make them feel like monsters on the basis of their mental health diagnoses?’
-
anyways!!
for one, i’m going to ignore the thinly veiled contempt in the phrase ‘people like you.’ people like what? people with npd? aspd? mentally ill people? i’ll never get tired of people in mental health spaces only advocating for ‘acceptable’ mental health issues.
the fucking moment somebody with a difficult and complex mental health problem even has the audacity to try and seek a bit of support for their issues, if they even deign to try and get help, or god forbid, cultivate a place of understanding and community amongst others, there’s always gonna be pricks like this who go ‘well actually you’re not allowed in our spaces because of xyz’. you so called ‘mental health advocates’ love to preach until you can’t romanticise or profit off of it. if you can’t just throw drugs at it it’s unacceptable.
unfortunately for you, dismissing it and vilifying it doesn’t make it go away. people are gonna have mental health issues you find unpalatable and unpleasant. people are gonna have mental health issues that cause them to be tricky to get along with, or deal with, or hard to be around, or god forbid, make them kind of a shitty person because they’re mentally ill. i’ll literally never get over how folk can so comfortably treat people as subhuman.
and no, actually, no you don’t have a right to do fuck all. you don’t have any right to exclude ANYBODY from ANY mental health spaces because you personally don’t like them. avoid your triggers, it’s literally not fucking hard. everybody deserves a chance to recover and become a better person. everybody. no exceptions. the sentiment that only certain mentally ill people are allowed to get better and the others who don’t fit into the criteria of ‘one of the good ones’ and subsequently has to suffer the rest of their life with no support system is fucking abominable.
and as a side note i’m not sure what ‘safe spaces’ you’re even talking about because i’m pretty sure the general consensus is that there’s specific tags on here for specific people with specific issues? so what business would somebody with npd/aspd have looking for support outside of their specific tags? if you actually knew what you were talking about, the majority of people impeding on peoples safe spaces is dickheads making ‘narc abuse’ and ‘anti-npd’ tags, because as far as i’m concerned pw/NPD aren’t going out of their way to cross tag and act like cunts for the hell of it?
so maybe i’ll remind any of you who need a refresher, bpd and npd are in the same cluster. they are two sides of the same coin, with lots of similarities and symptom overlap so, you know, can all stop acting so fucking sanctimonious.
anons are actually coming off this time cause i’m sick of you fucks sending me reams upon reams of horrible and heinous messages.
much love xx
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you'll never convince me that empathy's a real thing, what happens is you see a person in a bad situation and imagine being in their place so you put yourself in a bad mood too, you're not "absorbing or sharing their emotions" you're just making their bad situation about you and assuming they feel in the same way as your imaginary self in your imaginary scenario, and you may get it right sometimes but without any guarantee exactly because there's no actual connection between the two emotional states
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How to handle a narcissist
A guide to dealing with these wild creatures in a safe and responsible manner
Feed them cupcakes and admiration to build trust. All creatures do better around those who provide them with sustenance. Do this from a distance at first as to not spook them.
Only carry a narcissist with permission, and do so bridal style. Do not scruff or attempt to pick a narcissist up by the limbs. This will injure your narcissist and cause them to feel threatened.
Wrap your narcissist in validation and a nice warm blanket so they feel safe from predators. This makes the narcissist docile. They are less likely to feel attacked this way.
Make your narcissist hot chocolate and let them tell you stories about themselves. This is the narcissist’s main source of enrichment, and they love it when others engage supportively in their play time.
Narcissists are creatures with low self-esteem. They are prone to anxiety and depression as a result. In order to build your narcissist’s self-esteem, make sure you compliment them daily. Each narcissist will have a unique set of insecurities and things they are proud of. Be sure to get to know your narcissist and what forms of comfort they prefer.
As I said before, narcissists are anxiety prone creatures. They have a tendency to overthink and be perfectionistic in nature. To combat this, give them a little forehead kiss and start discussing all the great things you love about them in detail. This will trigger an instinctual response that will cause them to gain more confidence in themselves.
Do not attempt to train a narcissist unless you are an experienced professional. Doing so could result in a worse behavioral and emotional outcome. Instead, be patient and gracious with your narcissist as they receive training from a qualified field member.
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Stop worrying about being the hottest girl he’s been with and start being the scariest.
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my japanese class starts this week + my books came today so I'm prepared nw - gon go over hiragana + katakana again cuz not sure if u learn it in class or what but I've already learned them all so just brushing up on them beforehand sooo
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