It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

ob/gyn appointment today let's hope I don't lose it 🙏

I hope you suffer too

TW - suicidal thoughts, self-harm (nothing explicit)

bpd culture is when being left on read leaves you consumed with suicidal/self-harming thoughts

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friendly reminder that you don't need any diagnosis or disorder to adapt your routine to accommodate you! sit down in the shower. brush your teeth and wash your face in the shower. bring a chair to the kitchen while you cook. use unscented products. your routine should be built for you.

When you've been traumatized in ways that made you question your worth, going through hard or stressful times in the future can make it harder for you to believe in your worth in the present. This is especially true if your present hardships activate past traumas. I'd just like to remind you that your worth is immeasurable and does not diminish even when you cannot see it. You have immense worth. You always did, and you have it still.

I think my new friend might've blocked me on tumblr but she didn't on discord or tiktok so I'm hoping they just sniped her blog since it was a gore blog :/

i am holding my loneliness and she is a teenage girl with puffy eyes, and i love her more than i have ever loved anyone

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

don't get obsessed with someone who has given me an ounce of attention challenge (impossible)

bitches when ppl w/ a cluster b pd shows symptoms and its not just "quirky x3 mental illness hehe" anymore 😱😱😱

bpd culture is having the random urge to disappear for a week to see if anyone would miss you

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people will be like no i understand that you’re mentally ill but i don’t understand why you’re behaving in a mentally ill way

vent, suicidal ideation + sh talk tw

wanna die but I can't bc my husband and my dog and I feel like I'm not allowed to even though I feel like a burden and nothing is ever right. Even when things are supposed to be good it never lasts, my meds aren't working as well and I wanna kill myself and school is too much but I don't want to drop out bc then I really will kill myself or at least try. I don't want to be a failure I want to be happy and normal. Meds can only do so much but I can't find/afford a therapist so I can't even work on my emotional regulation to pick up the slack my meds leave especially now that they aren't working

I wanna cut so bad but ik it'll just make my husband sad and everyone will be disappointed and I'll just have another reason to think I'm ugly

I don't wanna be here I don't wanna keep doing this living is too much, I can barely survive yet alone live

sorry if i ever act weird i was raised by an insane woman who hates me

so proud of myself for surviving all the bad days i had