Post 2 ig

I've kinda been slacking off on my music making endeavor, probably because I just do not have it in me to make anything that will require that kinda effort. I won't stop my visual artistry, mainly pencil on paper, but I know someone who's really good at pixel art, so she can likely help me compile Aseprite lol, and just tips and tricks for a novice like me. Video games have dominated my free time a lot, so this could be my way of speaking about the best games I have been playing of late. That's enough for now, but idk, you can expect a couple more posts in the near to not so distant future.

-alphadoradusxxvi

My review of Juice Wrld's Rich and Blind.

Juice Wrld was and still is a really important artist to me, in that, he, like I do, had so much potential. However, he suffered from severe depression from a young age, which as much as it didn't impair his skills, meant that I only got to experiencing his craft for a few years. When he died in 2019, a year which was beyond disastrous to me, I had just begun to fall in love with his work. I'll never forget the day I watched Spider-man Into The Spider-Verse on the day he passed. "Hide" featuring Seezyn came on in the movie, and it just broke me. "Rich and Blind' is a song in which Jarad speaks about the internal conflict of having plenty in material possessions and the like, but simultaneously feeling a void from within, and not knowing why it's the case, when there are seemingly plenty of reasons to be happy. The first half of the song contains some really nihilistic lyrics,: "I know they lace pills, I bought them on purpose", a truly melancholic and borderline suicidal admittance of not holding one's life in decent regard anymore, as a coping mechanism from the discomfort. A lot of people have said, and rightfully so if I may add, that Juice Wrld's music, particularly those recorded near his death became a little monotonous in that they all revolved around substance abuse, depression and the difficulty of living with this reality. But honestly, I feel like that was probably the best depiction of living with this cloud of your head - after a few weeks, months or even years you begin to stop feeling shitty about feeling shitty. "I know I have a purpose, but I dont't see the purpose" is another scathing reflection on this lack of direction, and the sheer vulnerability that arises from knowing that even though you know you're here for something, you just can't find that drive, and the line along with a few others is delivered with such a casual cadence, again, emphasising this nihilistic view of life, or just not caring anymore.

However, this song has probably one of the best examples that of Jarad's ability to contrast pessimism with optimism in the space of a few verses, while also somehow seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, even when you're sure the light is merely a flashlight. One of my favourite lyrics from the song "This is dedicated to you if you felt the lowest of the low, I know how it feels, you don't wanna struggle anymore", and "Keep my eyes in the sky, 'cause that's where I'm moving", where his way of trying to motivating his fanbase who may have had similar experiences he's had, by letting them know that it gets better, even if it doesn't seem that way. It's hard for me to get out of bed, let alone find the energy to write this review, but I felt I had to at least get this done, because depression is like a malignant tumor; it just gives you the impression that nothing matters, even when that isn't the case, which can unfortunately deprive the world the light you have within. Even I find myself dealing with the existential crisis of knowing what I can bring to the world. People always tell me that they see great things in me, but I have to be honest, sometimes I struggle to see that myself. However, the reason I share this is because even if just one person reads this, someone who maybe has similar issues they're facing, maybe they can be reassured to keep moving forward, even when they don't feel like it. Regardless, always find a way to bring positivity in the world. Yes, life is really gross, you may have a voice or six that want you to cross the road without looking both ways, and we'll all have our hurdles, some that may as well be chronic, if not terminal. But what you can control is the output you put into the world. Jarad probably won't get to hear or see this, but regardless of his struggles he managed to inspire a generation that feels hopeless and scared of the future, and his legacy will live forever, or at least for as long as I'm alive.

I guess that's the point of this first review, in that, it's more about the power and importance music has in my life. Some days I'll feel bad, and like I hate myself, but regardless of that, I can at least try to make the lives of those around me a little less shitty, even if it's just as a cheerleader. This December will mark 4 years since he passed, and even though it still hurts a bit, his work helped me in ways I cannot contain in a few paragraphs, and I feel that deserves to be cherished not mourned. Out of 10, I'd give it a 7.5 - it's not the most groundbreaking song ever, but there are a few instances where that can take the backseat, seeing that the gravity of the subject matter is more important. It's a tough listen, but honestly, I feel like it's the best way to actually come to terms with the internal conflict someone in such circumstances wrestles with each day. I plan on using this platform as a means of spurring you on wherever in the world you are, because yes, it gets better, but you have to at least try, and I guess that just be my way of giving myself a reason to get out of bed each morning.

-alphadoradus

First post ig

Uh, hi, idk how Tumblr works, but even with that being the case, I guess I want to use it as a backup portal in case I never get the website done. I don't know why I'm on this planet, but even with this apparent lack of direction, music, art, gaming and astrophysics give me somewhat of a reason to get up each day, alongside my friends who I love a lot. You'll probably find a few game and music reviews on here, as well as the odd rant about something going on in pop culture, news in a few of the fields I'm interested in or whatever is on my mind. Hope you enjoy... :)