I ran water way too cold, after using all the hot water within myself. Perhaps I only waited just seconds to make sure I’m warm again. After turning on the many different faucets in my brain, I realized I won’t be warm for a while. I stepped outside of my mind naked and shivering, waiting to be covered warm again. Being the only one here I could just cover myself with a towel and be inside of a blanket. Am I mentally handicapped? Why can’t my mind accept that me covering myself is enough some days? Why the act of love for myself can never seem to settle on top of my skin these days? I closed my eyes and my still there was laced knots wrapped around my guts, some faint old memories still swimming in my core. Memories that travels up from the spine and strangle my mind until there’s nothing remaining but emptiness calling me to settle into its dark.

Time in nature is good for an escapist just like me

I could empty my pool of thoughts into a well

That no one could retrieve

Lately was discussing the importance with a dear friend of mine. How great it feels to be seen and to be heard. To be treated with patience and the upmost understanding about space needing to be made. The maturity of not taking anything personal when someone needs time to be within. I’ve said my alone helps me come to people clear as possible, so I can show up and be present fully.

It’s time for you to openly embrace that you are love and kindness. You can wake up one day decide to do a 180. Walk into a room and let your energy declare you’re not with no funny business. You move in peace, you are peace, and you are the embodiment of peace. You are love and you are the embodiment of love.

I think about how often times we romanticize waiting for one person from our past life. I don’t hear people often romanticize rediscovering an artist we might’ve loved in a past life. What if we heard these songs before? Read these books or even watched this film. What if we saw this painting, or wore this outfit? At least something similar. The fact that maybe we’ve been in love with sounds, words, smells, and etc for lifetimes excite me more than waiting on a person. You never know about that person anyways. What you do know is that you loveeeeee this song.

樽前ガロー

Magnolia

And how the sunlight seemed to sing that morning // Part 7

As all things earthly Truth changes Bows down and scatters; It’s reached its aim Before its daughter arrives Alone on stage A woman starts to splinter - I can lie, not improvise Lucky as I am, I rely on design I will fashion one, for this week I chose Dreading a phone call That should do before The new obvious lands

I got to clean out my closet

Some habits are there

Making it all funky from old distractions

You’re going to heal lifetimes of insecurities and bloom into who you are.

So let’s move beyond what other people are thinking, doing, and saying. A practice you can pull into your life when you are being pulled into uncomfortable situations you can say “I’m over here” affirming your presences and that all that mess is happening outside of you.

Im also seeing post where people are saying that they can be snapped me into the old versions of themselves because someone is saying “that’s what I thought.” I guess to call someone scary or whatever. However understanding it is indeed what they thought and you’re choosing peace so what they thought is still incorrect and don’t matter! You have moved on to a point in your life where you don’t have to prove your strength by matching energy and losing who you are in these distractions. Affirm that you are a peace.

There are certain things that will occur, when you leave an old timeline in the past. You will oftentimes see people operating on old frequencies that you left behind. Those are just events that happen for you to keep your composure and realize that you are most aligned with the current self. The self that worked so hard to react differently. So don’t let the mind fall into the “you better be lucky I’m not the old me.” Instead let’s say nothing.

You can measure your connections by how much joy you experience being with someone. If you feel you have to fight to be seen, if you have to convince someone in your life that certain parts of you is “good” then know something. When I tell you, if you’re mentally fighting someone in your head or in your life then you should not fight to keep that connection alive. You shouldn’t have to argue down your existence with anybody.

Soft fever

A child under bed engulfed in darkness

With peeks of light looked at from underneath

Cocoa colored heeled shoes pacing

Early morning coffee aroma in the air

The smell of fresh pages and curving lips

Mischief chuckles

Head thrown back in bouts of laughter

Drowned out by the clashing pans

A child finds their escape away from the world

In which they’d have to learn to be alone again like this to feel this joy