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blazerina · 2 years

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Tethered (Rob x Selena) Romance Club - Arcanum

I’ve never wanted to stay before. I’ve always wanted to leave. Be on the run. Go. Move. Never get stuck in one place, with the same person or people, for too long. None of that steady and stable stuff has ever served me well.

If I’m the one who’s moving forward – making all the decisions – constantly bouncing from place to place – then I’m never the one left behind. I’ve suffered through that feeling once and I promised myself I’d never go back there. I’d do everything in my power to ensure that I was never left again.

People think you cannot control your own destiny, but I disagree. There is plenty I can control. Sure, some things still have not gone completely according to plan, but I am able to manage and handle quite a bit on my own. I’ve done just fine thus far.

There’s still something inside of me that wants to be rooted. Grounded. Connected to something.

Anything.

Someone.

Anyone.

No matter how far down I try to stuff those feelings, they always come back up.

Especially when they are least expected and most unwanted.

I can feel them bubbling in the base of my gut. Crawling and creeping across the insides of my abdomen as they wake up from a deep slumber.

Hibernation.

They lay dormant and silenced due to the precise and calculating methods I’ve learned for keeping any emotion at bay.

From my belly they rise farther and farther up my spine – tingling and leaving fragments of hard, bitter, frozen bone along my back. It leaves me feeling bruised.

Brittle.

Able to snap and break into what feels like a million pieces at any moment.

Just like me, the feelings are on the move – never staying in one place for too long.

From along my back, they move to my shoulders and the base of my neck, bringing heat and tension. The muscles that wrap across my collarbone and the top of my chest ache with a dull throb.

Pulsing.

Reaching.

Stretching.

Crying out through the taught pain asking someone, anyone, something, anything, to care about what I’m going through.

What I’ve survived.

What I’ve yet to overcome.

Once the emotions of desiring stability, community, companionship reach my throat, I gulp hard again trying to control them and push them back down. My throat constricts as if I will swallow my tongue whole. Immediately my mouth becomes dry and the familiar, salty taste of my own saliva consumes me.

My brain tries to decide if what’s on my tongue is bile, tears, or blood. I think it’s a combination of all three. My body turns against me as the emotions continue to rise within. My head spins and I sweat even though I’m cold. I start to see stars as the corners of my vision fade and the very stability I myself create disappears as my legs give way and I fall to the earth I so desperately want to be bound to.

Tethered.

Connected.

Stable.

Grounded. Rooted. Committed.

Calm.

Peaceful.

Understood. Known.

Yet also…

Anchored.

Chained.

Frozen.

Unable to move.

Tied.

Captured.

Fearful.

Trapped.

And when I wake up for the millionth time after letting myself get to this point…my immediate thought is to move. To sit up. To get my bearings and run. Get as far away from anyone, anything, something, someone, who is causing me to feel this way.

Who is bringing up these foreign emotions in me? I know I’m not doing it to myself. I cannot be. I am too poised. Too controlled. Too restrained.

But something, someone, is holding me down. Holding me back. Keeping me from moving. I hear a voice but have no idea what it’s saying. I cannot comprehend the words. I only hear hums and rhythms of inflection that I assume are instructions for me that I’m choosing to ignore.

If I close my eyes and ears and hands real tight, I can shut it all out.

“You know the penalty if you fail.”

I repeat the mantra over and over again; as I always do. Reminding myself of all that could be lost if I don’t succeed.

This time it’s different. There’s an impenetrable wall in front of me. With my fists clenched, eyes shut, trying my best to block out the world around me, what’s in front of me simply will not move. The humming of the voice grows louder, deeper, the rhythms more consistent.

When I open my eyes, they are met with an icy blue stare. Intense. Focused. Strong. I look away but they remain steady.

I look down at my feet and bite my lip, still angry at the world and all that is within and around me. When I look back up – his eyes are still watching me.

His hands are on my biceps forcefully holding me in place. Keeping me glued to my position as he demands for me to look at him. I can’t bear to hold his gaze for more than a millisecond.

I shut my eyes again trying to trick my brain into thinking of a way out. I have to run. I cannot stand still. Time is being wasted as I frantically come up with a plan for escape.

But the dull, deep, desperate rhythm of his voice lulls me out of my dark thoughts.

“Se. Lee. Na.” The syllables of my name are chanted over and over again.

The voice is calm.

The voice is clear.

The voice is warm and inviting.

“Selena.”

Not Lilith.

“Selena.”

He’s here.

“Selena.”

It’s Rob.

My panicked search for a way out is met with his composed and kind invitation.

“Calm down. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.” His voice exudes confidence, trust, and care.

Could it be that in this moment, seeing his face and hearing his words, help me become no longer afraid to stay?

Is it possible that I no longer want to run?

My heart is still beating quickly, and I slowly resist the urge to bang on his chest and fight against him.

Perhaps I don’t have to stay in one place for too long, but I don’t have to leave all on my own, either.

It’s hard to be searching for something when you aren’t quite sure what you’re looking for. I knew something inside me was missing but I never really knew what exactly it was.

But now I know what I’ve been missing and simultaneously I’ve found what I’ve been searching for…

Him.

I still want to run. I still want to keep moving. I don’t want anyone or anything to ever hold me back.

I don’t know if he will be with me forever or when he will leave me – but I have him for now.

Now is all I have. Now is all we have.

And that has to be enough.

#rc arcanum #rob steltz #romance club arcanum #rob x selena #rob x lilith #blazerina babbles

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blazerina · 2 years

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Wow - @mrsnazariowritesagain this is so sweet of you to include me in this post! You are always incredibly kind and encouraging. I appreciate you!

This note has come at a great time…just trying to find my place (if there is one) in the choices fandom these days. I sure miss it!!

Again, many thanks. Take care and keep in touch. Thank you for taking the time to write and post this! It means more than you know. ❤️

Choices Fandom Shoutout Day

While I've done some individual shoutouts, I still felt like doing more. Thank you to @choicesfandomappreciation for hosting this!

When I joined this fandom 3 years ago, I'd initially planned to ghost read fics, till I started posting my own. I wasn't expecting the community to be so friendly and supportive, which is how everything just took off from there! Many of you are probably on a break or have left, but I still wanted to show how much I appreciate you!

This was the first time I really got to be involved in a fandom and is also the longest I've ever stayed in one. Regardless of any ups and downs, this has still been a great place to be and I have all of you to thank for it!

Your reblogs and comments never fail to make my day as does the content some of you create. I also love all the fun conversations we've had, whether it was reacting to Choices books or just random stuff! My experience here wouldn't have been the same without your support, so thank you all!

Please feel free to drop in my dm's if you ever wanna talk or even if it's just to send a meme or something random. I can be terrible at keeping in touch with people and I'm always trying to be better at it, but please don't think I don't see you all, 'cause I do! And I think you're wonderful 💜💜💜

@sfb123 @queenbirbs @bebepac @sirbeepsalot @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @lizeboredom @darley1101 @blackcatkita @choicesfanaf @jessiembruno @poorchoicesplayer @otherworldlypresents @park-nazario @parkerattano @kingliam2019 @kingliamsbitch @missameliep @allthatglitters2020 @flowerpowell @mrswalkerwritesagain @blazerina @rainbowsinthestorm @kimmiedoo5 @princess-geek @petiteboheme @moonlightgem7 @gardeningourmet @indiacater @indescribablechoices @jlpplays1 @kinda-iconic @katedrakeohd @choicessa @choicesfanatic86 @simplyaiden-blog @angstymarshmallow @queenrileyrose @enmchoices @eileendannie @ethanrcmsey @omgjasminesimone @julia-highstorms @walkerismychoice @writinghereandthere @romewritingshop @the-everlasting-dream @the-unconquered-queen @inacrowdofchoices

Anyone who's not tagged here, this also goes for you!

#choicesfandomshoutout #choicesspreadkindness

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blazerina · 3 years

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Super cute 🥰 all the feels

Well done @yaushie 💗

Finding Out

“The roommates find out that Kat is dating Bryce”

pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC | words: 800 | rating: PG

note: This is dumb and not my best work by any means but I had to get it out of my head and anyway it was fun to write so many different characters.

Bryce doesn’t actually make an appearance but he’s there in spirit.

“Where are you going?” Jackie asked from her slouched position on the couch, suspiciously eyeing the little black dress Kat was wearing.

Kat avoided her gaze by bending down to pull on her heels. She tried to sound casual when she answered, “To hang out with Bryce, we’re having dinner."

She heard the tv remote clatter to the floor. "Hold up, are you hooking up with BRYCE?” Jackie asked incredulously, the loud question garnering the attention of their other roommates.

Keep reading

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blazerina · 3 years

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HOW HAS TUMBLR BEEN SLEEPING ON THIS?!?! 🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧 Oh my heavens this was pure bliss - thank you thank you thank you for writing this I LOVE IT

I have been replaying OH with Bryce as my LI abs it’s so totally different than playing with Ethan - I just got through this part of book two and you killed me. this is beautiful and sooooo well done @foggyladyking

My favorite was:

And all at once, he was alone, and her eyes fell to him, with a forced smile he says "It's gonna be all right." Today seemed to be the day of promises made to ease hearts, he noted, making one of his own.

And Ethan going to Bryce to tell him first that she is cured…waaahhh 🤧🤧🤧

I just can’t stop being emo over this it’s just perfectly sweet and I love it and I want everyone else to love it too

Thank you for writing this and sharing with this fandom (as silent and different as it has become)

The places we don’t walk

Bryce Lahela x F! mc (Zelda Herschel)

words: 2170

summary: Rewrite of book 2 chap 11 from bryce’s pov, as Zelda stresses over everything happening and Bryce realizes he’s not content with just a smile, fickle promises, and leaving words unsaid to keep from going down to the places they won’t walk.

rating: teen and up Light swearing, and light sexual themes

hurt/comfort

_________

a/n

listen I hated how it emphasized how hot Bryce was, like okay we get it bryce is hot but his best friend is dying my thought wouldn’t be Let me look at your beautiful face one last time lets give bryce some more personhood other than being hot. pls fuck me pb wtf

______________

Zelda pulled Bryce away from all the eyes to a supply closet, pushing him against a shelf, and pressing against him she attacked his lips. diving into him entirely.

her hands found their way under his scrubs, and his found their way to her waist. They had mere moments before a nurse would page her, moments before it was all shattered and the facade of perfection they created with each desperate kiss was gone.

Bryce broke apart, giving a breathless laugh as he looked at her. Bags under her eyes that jumped around, she had this look of exhausted desperation on her, he didn’t fail to notice how her hands shook ever so softly, the way she seemed to jump out of her skin at everything.

“Do you wanna talk about it or just continue to kiss the shit out of me?” he asked with a gentle smile. “I don’t think I can take this,” She said before kissing him again. He pulled away once more only to wrap his arms around her. “what happened?” He asked “it’s nothing, just kiss me,” “It’s obviously not nothing, have you slept?"

She shot him a look that told him to proceed with caution. "What happened, Z?” He asked softly, smoothing her hair back into place. “Ethan is a bit…. much, He doesn’t agree with what I’m trying to do to save the hospital and he’s being such a….. baby, I’ve fought with him and argued for weeks, Bryce He makes me want to rip my hair out, He’s so stuck on the idea of what the diagnostic team was meant to be and he only sees one part of what it means, You know? I feel like I’m playing wife, scolding him, when he’s acting like a child,” she let her head fall to Bryce’s chest.

“He’s so goddamn difficult Everyone else on the team is trying, everyone else is playing their role but he’s so.. stubborn,” Bryce listened dutifully, soothing the back of her head and holding her in his arms.

“I feel like things keep coming and coming and they keep pushing me and I know, they push everyone I know that’s the point but I just feel like they push me harder? I just- I don’t know, I don’t know, I just wanna give up, I don’t want politics or anything, and I’m here, on T.V talking up some shitty politician, Pretending that’s my job, Because yeah, now my phone’s blowing up Because despite everything I’m reduced to Ramsey’s ‘possible new girlfriend’ Because fuck me that’s why,” She ranted, taking a deep breath before looking up.

“The curse of being hot, smart, and skilled, is that people only recognize one of the three at a time, it’s a heavy cross to bear, Yknow?” She joked with a tired smile. Dismissing everything with that smile.

He knew it All too well what was happening, what she was doing so easily, pulling away and fixing herself. He knew and yet he stood there with a sad frown on his face, brows furrowed as he reached out slightly.

“Maybe let’s go somewhere,” Bryce tried with a smile, “you need a break from this place,” He added hopefully. “If you could do anything what would you do?” He asked with a smile, they both recognized the plead, and neither acknowledged it, something that happened a lot with the pair if he was honest.

“It’s okay, I should keep working on my cases, I’m sorry I went off like that, I’ll make it up to you,” She promised with a soft smile. “Zelda come on, It’s okay, Let’s do something,” He urged wrapping his arms around her waist.

She was saved by the abrasive lights from the hall flooding in, An annoyed nurse standing in the doorway. Pulling away from him she fled past the nurse, smiling at him as she did.

Bryce was left, disheveled and helpless. He let out a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair, his pager going off once again, Pulling him away from Herschel’s fleeting form, She was gone, walking beside someone else.

With the mental promise to check up on her later, he allowed himself to be pulled away.

________

By the time he saw her again, it was before Krya’s surgery and she seemed a bit better, She pressed a kiss to his lips and told him to take care of Krya before they separated.

They separated all the time, parting ways with a promise to see each other at work, at a party, or just the next time they met up, A smile and a wave was a promise that they were only a text away, that if they needed the other, there they’d be.

And then his hands started to shake, And as he finished the surgery and rushed to Zelda they didn’t stop. He was met with a hoard of friends all looking at him with this grim look, they all went the same way.

He watched her through the window, pacing around the room, in bed was Rafael who followed his gaze and met him once again with a shrug, as if to say he’d already tried.

“Zelda?” Bryce called from the other side of the wall. She turned to look at him, and with the knowledge, she was likely going to die, the first words out of her mouth upon seeing him was “Bryce, You shouldn’t be here,” He gave a soft smile and made a passing comment if he was honest he couldn’t remember what he said, His mind was too wrapped up in watching her.

She pressed her hand to the glass and sighed, within a second he pressed his own to the same spot on the glass. “Maybe Ethan will be less of a hardass on you, now,” He joked with a hopeful smile. She let out a bittersweet laugh, and before he knew it there he was, fighting the same losing battle of trying to stay calm, to be strong in front of Zelda Herschel.

He watched as The diagnostic team drew blood, As Ethan lingered and once again, with the sound of his pager, he was pulled away.

But maybe for the best, as Bryce couldn’t watch this, Watch her pale and her eyes roll back, He saw it enough He knew. He couldn’t watch her wither away.

He wasn’t far, though, At all times he was a text away. She was pale and her cheeks had become gaunt, her lips were cracked and so dry she had a hard time stopping the habit she had since she was a child of picking at her lips till they bled.

The hardest part of it all was watching through the glass as Ethan offered reassurance and dutifully she gave him her new symptoms with a gentle smile. It wasn’t because he was jealous, it was the simple fact that she’d resigned into them failing that while they all tried to fix it, she was trying to ease them into the idea that if it can’t be fixed she loved them.

It was that at that moment she and Rafael shared a quiet resolve to make sure everyone knew that it was okay.

He returned to her side after hours of working with some of the greatest minds he knew settled on the conclusion that there was no cure, she scanned their faces nodded, “how doomed am I?” She asked, If Bryce would have met her eyes, he would have seen that her’s never left his form.

Bryce half-listened, to it all, the rundown of what he already knew, “I’m going to die here,” She said and with a sigh that seemed sort of light she continued; “so be it,” Three words that made the group flinch, ever so slightly.

“Now’s not the time to give up…” He heard Ethan say, But in honesty, they all knew He was just clinging to anything that might keep her from losing hope. As Sienna wetted the glass with her tears he finally looked at her, She watched her friend with a gentle smile. “I hear you no dying yet,” she promised.

And all at once, he was alone, and her eyes fell to him, with a forced smile he says “It’s gonna be all right.” Today seemed to be the day of promises made to ease hearts, he noted, making one of his own.

“You don’t have to be positive for my sake,” She said gently. “I’m not, I can’t let myself lose it, not when there’s still hope,” He said. She nodded thoughtfully, taking a labored breath before replying “whatever helps,"

Every moment felt heavier, with the weight of it all, with the fears they carried, and even as she gave him the same smile, the same one that said 'I’ll see you later,’ he came to the realization suddenly that the promise that was held in a smile wasn’t enough for him.

He suited up and within a moment, he was by her side, "what do you think? Am I still handsome? or am I maybe more handsome? Be honest.” He said upon his entrance.

The fear of making it real by saying anything else hindered him, But graciously She laughs, clapping lazily as he struts about in his bulky suit.

“It’s your best look yet,” she informs with a tired grin.

it’s all coming down, He’s losing her, he’s losing her, it’s over and they wasted time, This was it. Every 'I love you’ he trapped behind his teeth came back to the tip of his tongue. “I can’t believe you actually came in here,” She admitted with a sigh.

“if gonna be here for you I’m gonna be here for you,” He said, As though repeated a club oath.

“I’m not doing well on my own,” She admits softly stroking her thumb over his rubber one. “No, no you’ve been brave,” He denies. “I got two men killed because I was stupid,” She reaffirms so sternly that it broke his heart.

So he does all he can, for the woman he loves and takes her in his arms just like before this began, Repeating “I’m sorry” till his voice broke.

He gives her the only advice he can “stay positive,” stupid as it may be, that’s all he had.

Even in joking, it all felt fragile, one breath it’d shatter. Everything was a funhouse version of their usual interactions, a melancholy facade of normalcy that she broke with “Did I tell you how thankful I am that you’re here?"

once the facade broke, so did Bryce’s strained smile, "I was starting to go crazy worrying out there,” He admits, “I couldn’t imagine, I suppose it’s just as hard, to watch,” She replied.

And it all came down, the weight of places they didn’t walk, and the things they didn’t say with the belief that it was obvious fell onto him, threatening to suffocate him.

"You mean a lot to me, More than you know, the idea of losing you….“ He trailed off

"if tonight’s my last night, You’re the one I want to spend it with,” she said with a smile.

She settled into the bed, too weak to pace about anymore, she looked up at him, in his bulky hazmat suit that was not at all made with cuddles in mind, and asked “Would you hold me?” her voice strained and rough, and Bryce didn’t even have a thought of saying no.

In the time spent spooning, it seemed everyone else spent it making a miracle because they rushed up, dark puffy eye bags looking more than a bit disheveled but with hopeful smiles on their faces.

Bryce with his arm around her helps steady Zelda’s arm, biting his lip as he watches the needle go in, sending a silent prayer to a god he doesn’t believe in with it.

Reluctantly, to the demand of Ramsey, Bryce leaves her to rest, sleeping in the on-call dorm, despite being told to go home, no one would enforce this, in fact soon He was woken up by Ethan a broad smile playing on his face. “It’s safe to go to her, without the hazmat suit, I have a feeling there’s no other person she’d rather go tell her than you,” He said gently.

And so, he did rushing in with all the confidence in the world, announcing “it worked?” A look of pure disbelief found its way to Zelda’s face, so he strolled through the door with a grin, arms open as if to prove it.

Without so much as another word, she jumps up and runs to his arms, nearly taking him down in the process, everything lost to him but her fists curled into his scrubs, and her lips on his.

When they finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers “thank you,” “for what?” she asked with a soft smile. “for being alive.” He replies, anchoring himself by embracing her.

#everyone read this #bryce x mc #open heart #bryce lahela

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blazerina · 3 years

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I want to write. I have ideas. I open document. I type four of the worst sentences ever created in the english language. I daydream the rest of the scene. I close document.

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blazerina · 3 years

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omg @beastlyinstrument thank you - what an honor. I know which one I think I am but what do y’all say?!

hey i made this fanfic writer meme. drop in my ask which one u think i am!!!!

(okay to rb!)

#blazerina babbles #does anyone even read what I post anymore #I’m old #more stories to come tho #can’t get rid of me that easy

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blazerina · 3 years

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I’m back at it folks and have missed y’all terribly! I’m replaying Open Heart from start to finish and need to know who wants on my tag list!! I’m getting more and more inspiration as I play through it all again.

It would also help if you gave me some ideas of what kind of stories and which characters you want to read about…

#blazerina babbles #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #let’s do this

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blazerina · 3 years

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Here First (Bryce x MC)

Word Count: 1717

A/N: I know it’s crazy to think that I’m writing about Bryce. It’s been so long since I’ve written anything! I started randomly replaying Open Heart and tried his route just for something different and I’m smitten. This is just me trying to get back in the thick of writing…I miss it! Hope all are well – sending peace and joy to this fandom and anyone who takes the time to read this! Be well. xoxo

---

Bryce fell back onto Allie’s bed with a heavy sigh.

He was tired.

He was hungry.

He was worried…and he was nervous. Two things he was not used to feeling.

He knew he had just completed a 12-hour shift and that typically resulted in brain fog, but this was different.

His mind was reeling. Spinning.

When he heard the other interns and nurses talking about Dr. Ramsey’s dramatic announcement that Allie would be accompanying him to Miami, he had to find a supply closet to compose himself in. He legitimately thought he might be sick.

Never before had he felt this way about anyone, and it was starting to get to him.

Why did he care that she was suddenly number 1 in the intern competition?

Why did he care that Dr. Ramsey knew her by name and no one else?

Why did he care that she would be spending not one, but two days completely alone with him?

“Ugh.” Allie huffed, obviously frustrated as she searched her closet. Her voice interrupted Bryce’s thoughts.

“I know I’ve got one in here somewhere…”

“What are you looking for?” Bryce asked, rolling over onto his side and propping himself up on an elbow.

“A stupid formal. Ethan just emailed me that we’ll be going to a casino-themed reception. Poolside. Who wears a formal out by the pool?!” Allie hissed, picking up piles of dirty clothes and dropping them on the floor in a new location.

Bryce felt his jaw tighten thinking about one of many situations Allie would find herself in with Dr. Ramsey. Ethan had a reputation around the hospital, for sure. But the reputation most people disdained was the one of condescension, being dressed down for mistakes and held to the highest of standards right out of the gate. This reputation was not the one that concerned Bryce the most…

He always tried hard to stay out of Dr. Ramsey’s way but had observed him enough and heard enough of his conversations with Dr. Emery to know that Ethan was a bit of a ladies’ man at times. There were rumors here and there of small insignificant relationships with interns or other attendings. Bryce knew how many of the other female doctors and nurses found Dr. Ramsey attractive. He also knew many of the first-year interns hung on his every word hoping to impress him, to get on his good side. Bryce always shook his head at their desperate attempts, knowing they’d be willing to do anything to get attention from THE Ethan Ramsey.

Allie wasn’t like that, but that was probably the very thing that made her stand out from the rest of the intern group. It was certainly one of the reasons Bryce was attracted to her.

Quiet confidence. Sincere care and concern for others. Brilliant skills. Modest. Respectful as well as respected. Anyone would want to be her. Anyone would want to be beside her.

Bryce wasn’t dumb. He saw the way Ramsey interacted with her, looked at her, talked to her. It was different. Different than any other intern, nurse, attending, you-name-it, that he normally interacted with.

None of that bothered Bryce until…well until…Bryce searched his mind trying to find the answer.

When was it exactly that he changed his mind about her?

When did these interactions between Allie and Ethan start to get under his skin?

He couldn’t pin-point it, but he knew that now, in this moment, he felt threatened. And he didn’t like it.

Up until recently he had been feeling confident in his feelings for her and her feelings for him. They had chemistry, they were friends, they understood each other and what they were experiencing together. It was an even push-pull relationship that left both of them satisfied in more ways than one. There was no need for a label, it was an unspoken understanding. A complicated dance that each one of them performed delicately but assertively, every day.

They were both adults. They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were getting into with one another, but they were both okay with it, even though they had never talked specifically about it. Right? This is what Allie wanted, wasn’t it? Bryce knew he wanted it…but he started to wonder about her.

If he wanted it but she didn’t, what would that mean? Is this what happens when you get to the place where a decision must be made? Is this the feeling? Insecurity?

“Bryce?! Hello?!” Allie snapped her fingers, trying to get his attention. It was obvious he was distracted.

“Which one? The black or the purple?” She held up both her formal dress options, waiting on him to respond, completely ignorant to what he was thinking and feeling in the moment.

He swallowed hard, imagining her in either one of the gowns, being paraded around the reception on Dr. Ramsey’s arm like a trophy he had won. Bryce sat up quickly, positioning himself on the edge of the bed. He wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to stay in her presence without doing or saying something he’d regret.

“I like the purple.” He nodded decisively, trying to smile and use his trademark Lahela charm that oftentimes got him out of difficult situations.

“Me too.” Allie smiled, laying it on top of her open suitcase. “I think I’m almost done…” she called to him from her bathroom where she gathered some toiletries. “Then we can maybe hit up Donahue’s or something for a drink?”

“Uh, yeah, sure…” Bryce scratched the back of his head, really trying to figure out if he should say anything or not.

Allie seemed so smoothly confident in her trip. She was proud of herself for being chosen. She was chill and relaxed. He didn’t want to do anything to ruin that for her.

“Hey.” She appeared in front of him suddenly, leaning on the door frame that led into her bathroom from the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” She furrowed her brow and crossed her arms in front of her chest, sincerely concerned.

“You don’t seem okay. Did something happen today during your shift?”

Bryce immediately broke out into a wry smile. “You know nothing happens to me. I’ve got everything under control. Always.”

“Mkay.” Allie responded, moving closer to him, but still skeptical. “Do you not want to go out tonight? I know it’s already late and you’ve had a long day. You’re sweet to have sat here this long!”

She slowly sat down on his lap, placed her arms around his neck and locked eyes with him.

“I’m for sure tired but since you’re about to leave on the trip of a lifetime, I want to be sure I get some time with you.” Bryce rested his forehead against hers, his last words coming out barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know that I’d say it’s the trip of a lifetime. I’m scared out of my mind – who actually wants to spend that much time with Ethan?” Allie retorted.

“Um, a lot of people.” Bryce said, pulling away from her. “You’ve got an even bigger target on your back now, you know that right? You’re already on a first name basis with the guy and everyone’s talking about it.”

Allie nodded sadly. “I know I should be excited, but it’s just complicated now and I’m not the same wide-eyed innocent intern I once was, you know? I’ve seen too much already…”

Bryce sighed. This was what he wanted to hear but still felt the need to say something.

His heart was beating fast, and he was trying hard to make sure what he was about to say or do was precise and well thought out. He approached everything like it was a surgery. This time though he didn’t have a mask to hide behind.

He just wasn’t sure that now was the time to try to figure out what was going on between the two of them. As much as it pained him, maybe she needed to make a choice for herself without his influence.

“I know deep down inside a part of you is stoked to go to Miami. It’s okay to celebrate, Allie. You’re kicking everyone’s ass!”

Allie searched his face and smiled slowly. “I’m proud of myself, you’re right but all this other crap that comes with it isn’t a party. Now I’m being seen as his number one and it’s a whole new level of pressure.”

“I feel like you’re one of those people who’s always going to have options.” Bryce almost winced as he said it.

“Whatever you want you’ll be able to get.”

“Thanks…I think?” Allie laughed lightly. “That was a compliment, right?”

Her hands slid down his chest and one of them rested over his heart. She asked again, visibly concerned, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Bryce nodded. “Maybe I should go ahead and head out. You’ve got to meet Ramsey early in the morning to catch your flight, and I’m beat.”

Allie responded by standing up and getting off Bryce’s lap. “Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll text you…you have to keep me updated on all the hospital gossip while I’m gone.”

“I can do that.” Bryce stretched while he stood up as well, bringing his hands over his head and stifling a yawn.

“I know it’s only for two days, and I’m being dramatic, but I AM going to miss you…” Allie sighed, moving in to give him a long hug.

Bryce felt defeated as he squeezed her tightly and gave her a light kiss on the top of her head. He didn’t dare tell her just how much he’d miss her or how she’d be all he’d think about while she was gone.

“I’ll miss you too.” He responded, as he broke away from the hug.

Heading towards the door he summoned a little bit of courage.

“When you think about those options, Allie, just remember one thing for me, okay?”

She watched him, waiting for him to finish.

“I was here for you first.”

Allie’s eyes narrowed, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

“I hope it’s a great trip and that you get everything you want. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Hanging his head, he left quickly, afraid of what he’d see if he looked back.

#blazerina babbles #bryce x mc #bryce x allie #mc x bryce #bryce lahela

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