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beomgyuslilracha · 1 month

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you don't go to parties ☆.* 7

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun × f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: just my usual awful writing + procrastination, and mention of heavy drinking involved

⊹ wc: 4.1k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

the light emanating from the phone was unmistakable, even from just the mere corner of his eye. the second the screen lit up, yeonjun could be caught lunging for the device within a matter of seconds. his heart was practically pounding against his ribcage as his eyes quickly scanned over the notification.

just as quickly as the device lit up, the lock screen faded to black – allowing yeonjun to meet the eyes of his disappointed reflection yet again.

ever since that day at music bank, he foolishly allowed himself to hope and eagerly await for the moment your name would finally flash across his screen. regardless of whether he was at home, in the studio, or even out on one of his schedules, he always ensured to keep at least one eye on his phone for the moment you would contact him.

any time his phone did shine to life or produce some sort of noise, yeonjun would stop everything he was doing to reach for the device and see if it was you.

it never was.

in fact, for the past four days, your name still had yet to appear.

thus, yeonjun found himself succumbing to old habits - nursing bottle after bottle to intoxicate his mind and distract himself from obsessing over you.

of course, it wasn't like he was completely without reason. he was more than capable of conjuring up a multitude of possible explanations as to why you might not have had the chance to reach out to him yet.

the unfortunate part was that, with every reason he thought of, his drunken mind would only get angry with a rebuttal of its own.

at first, he was more than certain that your job had to be keeping you busy at all times. seeing as he had first-hand experience with the daily schedule of an idol himself, yeonjun could reasonably assume that you would have your hands quite full with both of those annoying dogs, er.. friends of yours.

and then he would drink far too much, strewing himself lazily over his kitchen counter, while he stared blankly at the dark screen of his phone.

how busy could you possibly be ?!

schedules don't last 24 hours, you have had more than enough opportunities to send one text .. just one .. that's it..

"this is getting pathetic," taehyun mumbled under his breath, shaking his head one morning as he found yeonjun passed out on the couch with empty soju bottles scattered all over the ground.

after eventually having a full bottle of water dumped all over his face, yeonjun quickly sat up coughing and sputtering - looking around the room and taking a minute far too long to remember where he even was.

once he processed reality long enough to finally acknowledge taehyun's presence beside him, his brows furrowed together with the utmost irritation. "what the hell was that for?!"

"that? what the hell is all this for?!" taehyun retorted, unable to help himself from uncharacteristically raising his own voice. "when i told you that you needed to distract yourself, this isn't what i meant!"

following taehyun's gesture, yeonjun's eyes scanned over the ground to see the discarded empty bottles decorating the floor. truth be told, he really had no memory of drinking any of it last night.

before he could open his mouth to formulate any sort of sentence, taehyun beat him to it. "this isn't healthy. your obsession over this is ... it's not good for you, man."

"you were the one who-"

"no." taehyun was quick to stop him. "i told you that you needed to properly apologize to her, which, by the way, you still haven't done. obsessing over your phone and waiting for her to reach out to you? that's the complete opposite and, quite honestly, insane."

although he did understand taehyun's words, yeonjun's instant focus was on the mere mention of his phone. his hands mindlessly began patting the pockets of his sweatpants before feeling all around him for the device. the longer it took for him to find it, the more panicked he began to feel.

what if this was the one morning you finally messaged him? and he was missing it because he couldn't find his phone?!

"this is exactly what i'm talking about," taehyun groaned, reaching into his own pocket and pulling out yeonjun's phone so as not to drive the idiot any further off the edge than he already was.

seeing him attempting to lunge for the device, taehyun was quick to sidestep and avoid yeonjun's grubby hands before shoving the phone back into his pocket.

"what the fuck, tyun, just give me the phone!"

the pair of them went back and forth for far too long, even going as far as wrestling each other, before taehyun managed to pin yeonjun helplessly to the ground.

of course, yeonjun largely blamed his current hangover for his loss, but taehyun wasn't so sure.

after taking a minute to catch his breath, yeonjun stared blankly up at the ceiling as sobriety finally began to clear the insanity from his mind. "fine.. you're right."

"thanks, i usually am," taehyun managed to joke, standing up before lending yeonjun a hand as well.

running his hands through his hair, though doing nothing to actually tidy up the mess on his head, yeonjun then sighed in exasperation. "what am i supposed to do then? at least when i'm drunk, i can't remember anything."

"we have an award show next month already, have you practiced for it at all?"

the deafening silence was enough to answer his question.

with a much healthier distraction in mind, taehyun managed to lead yeonjun out of the house and toward the company in order to focus on an activity that did not primarily involve staring into a blank phone screen.

truth be told, yeonjun had to agree that there was nothing better to distract himself with than immersing his entire mind and body into practicing and perfecting his choreography for his set next month. in fact, he felt rather guilty for not having thought of it in the first place.

eventually after hours of consistent practice, seeing as they both appeared to be satisfied by the playback recording, taehyun suggested stopping by the cafeteria for a meal before heading home.

"no, i think .. i think i'm going to keep practicing," yeonjun told him, grabbing a towel from the bench to dry off some of the sweat that accumulated on his face.

taehyun furrowed his brows together, refusing to allow his own friend to subject himself into anymore unhealthy behaviors.

"look, you're coming with me whether it's voluntary or not, so i highly recommend you choose the path of least resistance," taehyun warned, shrugging casually as he removed his shirt drenched in sweat in order to change into something cleaner before they left. "have you even eaten at all today?"

truthfully, it was hard to determine what was louder: the silence from yeonjun's inability to answer or the perfectly-timed growl that erupted from his stomach.

now that he was actually taking a moment to breathe, yeonjun could feel the exhaustion from dancing and the hunger catching up to his body. that being the case, he couldn't quite afford, or even bother, putting up any sort of fight.

thus, taehyun found it rather easier than normal to drag yeonjun along with him to the cafeteria within the company.

two freshly ordered bowls of ramyeon later, that's how yeonjun finally ended up eating - or, rather, devouring - his first meal of the day by 9 o'clock that evening.

the pair ate in silence as they sat across from one another, the only sounds between them being from the slurping of their noodles and the sips of their sodas.

yeonjun had to admit, it was rather calming. he was grateful to taehyun for the distraction he provided, as well as the delicious meal.

taehyun, on the same hand, was just as glad to see at least the hint of a smile on his friend's face again.

of course, it only lasted so long before the brief moment of silence was inevitably interrupted with questions and doubts tumbling out of that very same mouth.

"do you think she just forgot?"

taehyun couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped his lips as he set down his chopsticks, his head shaking almost pitifully. a part of him felt that the most logical response would be the one of harsh honesty, in order to finally push yeonjun toward the path of acceptance and moving on.

unfortunately, considering the underlying feelings of guilt twisting in his chest at that moment, taehyun figured it best to attempt playing the role of a comfort for now.

at least, just until yeonjun was ready to make the choice for himself.

"it's possible," he answered simply, his eyes averting down to his ramyeon bowl as he began mindlessly twisting the noodles around his chopsticks. "considering she manages beomgyu, i'd imagine she has her hands full more often than not."

yeonjun let out a soft, half-hearted chuckle, nodding lightly. "yeah ...yeah, maybe."

chewing on the inside of his cheek, yeonjun could feel his fingers naturally itching to reach for his phone that resided in taehyun's back pocket, desperate to check his notifications for any sign of your name.

this was probably the longest he had ever gone without double and triple checking his phone for a message from you. it had been taehyun's insistence that yeonjun be completely separated from his phone for the rest of the night, in hopes of putting a start to breaking this incessant habit of his - or else yeonjun would certainly wind up driving himself mad.

clearing his throat amidst the awkward silence that had settled between them now, taehyun spoke up, "look, you need to get some proper rest tonight. you have the day off tomorrow, so you should focus on finding some way to relax to help get your mind off of all this."

his words practically served as a reminder to yeonjun's exhaustion, his eyelids suddenly feeling much heavier than they had just a minute ago.

yeonjun nodded firmly in agreement, sitting up straighter and stretching his arms above his head in order to wake himself up a little. "yeah, that's probably a good idea."

he would never dare say the words out loud, it would be completely out of his character, but yeonjun was deeply grateful to have a friend like taehyun in his life. despite how obnoxious and unbearable he felt he could be sometimes, taehyun always stayed by his side through it all and remained his biggest support.

"here, i'll throw all this away and then we can head home," taehyun offered, breaking yeonjun out of his sappy thoughts as be began gathering their empty containers to discard them in one of the trash bins nearby.

just as taehyun had stepped away from the table, the softest buzz of a notification emitted from the phone that was resting atop of the table.

by pure instinctive nature at this point, yeonjun practically lunged for the phone before he could even register his own movements.

his heart stopped almost instantaneously, unable to believe his own vision at the sight of your name across the screen. yeonjun was positive his entire nervous system short-circuited in that moment, seeing as he lost all ability to breathe.

just as he was about to burst with excitement, the corners of his lips dropped and the light disappeared from his eyes almost as quickly as it had appeared.

he gently set the phone back down to where it had originally been resting, feeling himself beginning to slowly shut down entirely. all of that progress he made today seemingly for nothing..

maybe .. maybe he was just seeing things. it couldn't have been you, it just ... it couldn't be.

his downcast eyes glanced back over toward the phone screen that was left facing upward on the tabletop, watching as your name lit up for a few seconds more before the screen went black.

yeonjun clenched his jaw in order to suppress his emotions.

just then, taehyun returned to the table with a small smile gracing his lips, absent-mindedly reaching to grab his phone that he had left behind. he meets yeonjun's eyes innocently. "you ready to go?"

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

much to your own surprise, within the same five day period after music bank, yeonjun had managed to secure a small space in your mind entirely rent-free.

nothing like how you occupied his every thought, but he was there nonetheless.

you blamed the ridiculous music recommendations constantly displaying and urging you to listen to the very song that you were insistent on avoiding. it was as if your own phone was determined to taunt you on the matter.

eventually, you couldn't resist anymore.

in the quiet of your room by the end of the third day after music bank, you were practically locked in a staring contest with the dreaded play button. you were hugging your legs to your chest as your heart was pounding a little harder than normal, just the thought of hearing the very words he wrote about you making you extremely nervous - not to mention that it'd be his voice singing them to you.

once you came to the realization that you were acting rather pathetic - it was just a song at the end of the day - you finally overcame your nerves and decided that all you needed was a bit of support.

looking to your left, you spotted the precious fox plush that kai had gifted you residing on the empty space of your bed. smiling softly, you reached for the soft toy and hugged it to your chest, feeling slightly better knowing that you had a piece of your best friend with you.

one deep breath later, you finally hit play.

truth be told ... you were torn.

your heart was aching as you recalled the painful memory of your breakup, yet you were also partially confused and rather angry at how you felt you were portrayed.

just as you had predicted, yeonjun managed to paint himself as the victim - telling this story of how his ex spoke so cruelly as she broke up with him.

but that wasn't the case.

you never spoke harshly to him, no, you only ever tried to reason with him when he was always the one throwing things out of proportion and putting words in your mouth.

worst of all, you weren't the one that left. he was the one who pushed you away ... he was the one that told you to leave.

you groaned with annoyance, lifting your phone from the bed and shutting the song off before it could dare to repeat itself.

after a brief moment of silence, in which you allowed yourself to calm down, you weakly wiped away the trail of tears that had cascaded down your face. regardless of the anger that you did feel, you also felt that faint twinge of pain in your heart as your mind raced with memories of the aftermath.

if anything, you probably related more deeply with yeonjun's song than he did.

you blankly stared down at your phone as you thought back to yeonjun's pleading eyes and uncharacteristic behavior asking you to let him know your thoughts about the song.

against your better judgement, along with the influence of it being almost 2 in the morning, you figured .. maybe it wouldn't hurt.

just as you were opening up your messaging app to succumb to your impulsive vulnerability, it then dawned on you that you had no way of contacting him in the first place.

he didn't actually think you'd keep his old number around after all these years, did he??

you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. you could certainly imagine that this was some sort of game to him - probably wanting to see if you'd be desperate enough to go around searching for a way to contact him.

absolutely not.

then, your eyes lit up with a sudden reminder of a number you did have.

biting nervously at your bottom lip, your heart raced uncontrollably as your thumb practically grew a mind of it's own and opened up a new chatroom to a certain secret admirer.

or ... you suppose it wasn't exactly a secret anymore.

with half a rational mind left as the clock officially turned 2 a.m., you luckily figured it best to not send your very first message to him in the middle of the night.

unfortunately, by morning, you lost all confidence and had absolutely no clue what you could possibly say to him.

"have you tried using 'hi' before? i hear that's very effective in starting conversations," beomgyu teased, after you had confided in him the dilemma you were dealing with.

not entirely by choice, though. it was more so that he barged into your office and caught you staring at the empty chatroom that left you no choice but to explain yourself.

"wow, gyu, thank you so much for that insight." your response was dripping entirely with sarcasm. "i don't know what i'd do without your help."

beomgyu couldn't help but to laugh, honestly finding it rather funny to see you acting so worked up over the thought of sending such a simple message.

with another chuckle, he ruffled your hair playfully as he then offered another suggestion. "fine fine, why don't you just say hi and also thank him again for the gifts he got you?"

your head tilted slightly as you contemplated the idea over in your mind. surprisingly, his idea wasn't such a bad one after all. thinking it over some more, it was actually the perfect leading opener to offer treating him in return as a show of appreciation.

thus, the message was officially drafted and prepared to send at any moment!

...

any second now, surely...

"oh my God, are you ever going to hit send?" beomgyu groaned dramatically from beside you, causing you to grow all the more nervous and embarrassed.

beomgyu checked the time on his phone, noting how it had now been 5 long minutes of your message remaining unsent as you probably hoped the send button would magically click itself.

"i'm nervous, okay? i've never done this before!" you attempted to reason, feeling all the more embarrassed that beomgyu was the sole witness of your situation at the moment.

you could bet that kai would be more understanding..

"then i'll do it for you," beomgyu deadpanned, reaching over and hitting send before you could even register his words.

as upset as you wanted to be, you were honestly more relieved than anything else. although the way he went about it wasn't entirely ideal, at least he got it over with.

though, now panicked, you exited the chatroom and locked your phone before shoving it away as if it were some sort of infectious disease.

this caused beomgyu to burst out in laughter, shaking his head at how adorable you were being. he had never seen you act like this for the entire time he has known you.

"stop laughing!" you pouted, smacking his arm lightly, though it only managed to encourage him further. "i knew i should've called kai.."

"wait, wait, wait.. kai doesn't know yet?" beomgyu's mood quickly shifted into that of curiosity, his expression rather surprised at your words.

"well, no, not-"

"finally!" beomgyu cut you off to cheer, standing up and raising his arms proudly. "i finally know something he doesn't!"

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. "oh, come on, i always tell you everything too. kai's just usually around first, that's all."

beomgyu scoffed, sitting back down in the chair that he had dragged behind your desk to sit beside you. beomgyu may be a lot of things, but he wasn't blind; he was more than aware that you and kai held a much closer friendship with each other than either of you did with him.

not that he blamed either of you, considering you both knew each other longer than him, but that didn't mean he couldn't be jealous about it from time to time.

his eyes widened with an idea, and he leaned over to grasp your hands pleadingly. "please don't tell him!"

you blinked, taken aback. "tell him what?"

"about this, with taehyun. let's keep this between us," beomgyu explained, and you were shocked to see genuine sincerity in his expression.

a part of you was feeling guilty as you studied beomgyu's features, but you weren't entirely sure as to why.

"why do you want this to stay between us?"

he sighed, turning his face away slightly in order to attempt hiding the embarrassed blush that was beginning to color his cheeks. "i don't know, i just ... i want to share something with you too. you and kai are always together, i'm sure you guys even have your own secrets and i get that, but i just .. i feel left out sometimes, you know?"

you could feel your heart almost break at his words, feeling all the more guilty to have ever been the cause of sweet beomgyu feeling anything less than he deserved. "oh, gyu.. i'm so sorry. i never meant for you to-"

"no, no, i know you didn't!" surprisingly it was beomgyu reassuring you, smiling softly as his thumb gently caressed the back of your hand. "it just happens to be that way, and i get it, don't worry."

you squeezed beomgyu's hands lightly in reassurance, a small smile adorning your lips as you met his eyes. "i promise this will stay between us, okay?"

you don't think you could recall any other time where he smiled so widely, most especially at something so miniscule as a secret like this.

"but you can't get mad when i start calling you all the time asking for advice," you warned him with a teasing smile, tapping his nose lightly and playfully.

"are you kidding? that's exactly what i want," beomgyu smiled back.

thus, you stuck to your promise and kept everything involving taehyun between you and beomgyu.

which was very lucky because, without him, you don't think you would have had any courage to make it as far as you have.

taehyun: you're more than welcome. it was really no problem at all, it just means a lot knowing that you appreciated them. you: of course i did, and i would love to be able to return the favor! if you're free tomorrow, maybe we can meet up for lunch :)

"you're crazy, i can't meet him tomorrow!" you exclaimed with shock, watching over beomgyu's shoulder as he typed out the very message that was making your heart race with nerves.

"why not?"

you hesitated. "because i'm nervous." your voice was embarrassingly soft.

"alright, fine." he turned back to your phone and began deleting the last portion of the message, though only to tweak it slightly before hitting send without consulting you first.

you: of course i did, and i would love to be able to return the favor! if you're free this weekend, maybe we can meet up for lunch :)

you shrieked with shock, yanking your phone out of his hands as if it would take back the action. he may have given you a few more days to prepare yourself, but it still didn't make it any better!

beomgyu smirked up at you, seemingly shameless. "you can thank me later."

"thank you??"

"oh, you're welcome," he beamed brightly with pride, earning another soft smack on his arm. "look, it'll be fine! you already know he's into you, right, so what's the problem?"

you opened your mouth to answer, but you couldn't think of anything that was justifiable.

amidst that moment of no words being spoken, your office door opened up to reveal none other than kai walking in with a curious expression upon seeing you and beomgyu alone together.

a sight he realized he wasn't used to seeing.

"what're you guys doing?" he asked, rather confused as he noticed the way beomgyu attempted to slyly slide your phone back to you.

"nothing, beomgyu's just being beomgyu," you answered nonchalantly, even adding an eyeroll in hopes of it coming off natural and lighthearted.

luckily, kai brushed it off as simply nothing and joined you both to hang out for an hour before you all eventually had to go your separate ways for different schedules.

on the way to your meeting with other members of the staff team, during a brief moment alone in the elevator, you pulled out your phone to double check your messages - only for your heart to flip into your throat as your face practically began to glow a bright red.

taehyun: that sounds great. i'll pick you up saturday.

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a/n:

okay, first off, can i just say ... i accidentally and unintentionally made soobin side character so hard this series ... i'm so sorry, king, idek how to bring him back OOPS but anyway, GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH AN UPDATE !! not the greatest, i know, buuut i hope it's still interesting and enjoyable :( <3 PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK !! i need encouragement and motivation so hard because it truly truly helps me to write the next part :,)

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @rizzshimura @junzwrld @reigyki @goldennika @chaconnelatte @faeryhee @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @whippedforbeomgyu @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe @catsyoon @wereonfire @heartattackreader @myjaeyunn @probably-too-obssessed @ye0nvibezzn

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @softcabur @marekmybeloved @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

#tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together imagine #txt #txt imagine #txt imagines #txt x reader #choi yeonjun #choi yeonjun x reader #yeonjun #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun imagines #choi yeonjun imagines #yeonjun fanfic

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beomgyuslilracha · 1 month

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okay guys, i'm doing it.

i got a glass of wine and i'm working on the yeonjun fic. who has faith i'll post today ???

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beomgyuslilracha · 2 months

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tell me how i was trying to write more for the next chapter for ydgtp AND I ACCIDDNTALLY POSTED THE FUCKING DRAFT SGSJKS

if anyone saw it , no you didn't

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beomgyuslilracha · 3 months

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i haven't made any out of the blue updates about literally anything bc my work schedule has been THE WORST 💔💔

but i promise i'm still here and i'm still writing and scrapping and editing and TRYING 😭

here's a preview of a scrap intro piece for ydgtp 😞 :

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beomgyuslilracha · 5 months

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you don't go to parties ☆.* 6

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: just my usual awful writing and also the fact that i keep procrastinating so hard every time i get writer's block

⊹ wc: 4.7k

truthfully speaking, you were foolish not to realize that everything was too good to be true. your day had been going far too well for something not to come along and ruin it — it was the unfortunate balance of life, after all.

while filming should have commenced approximately three minutes ago, the directors and staff were gradually beginning to panic when there was no sign of the next interviewee. seeing as though they were not any of your concern, you remained unbothered as you flashed a reassuring smile in kai's direction.

unfortunately, he only wished that he could return the same expression.

it wasn't that he was worried about the missing interviewee by any means, but it was more so that he had completely forgotten to warn you about who exactly they were about to interview..

considering he had been rather distracted after having gone out of his way to look for and warn you earlier, kai could only blame beomgyu for the unfortunate predicament that the two of you will inevitably be under.

although, seeing as he was running late anyway, kai wondered if he should just take the opportunity to pull you aside now and let you know before he had the chance to arrive.

but how could he?

a part of him wanted to be selfish and leave you to remain blissfully unaware so that you wouldn't leave his side. perhaps you might even seek him for comfort... was this so wrong?

"we found him! yeonjun's coming!" a staff member had suddenly announced to everyone upon entering the room, earning a sigh of relief from the surrounding crew.

meanwhile, kai cursed himself for keeping his mouth shut. having to watch as your cheerful smile dropped into a look of dread was enough to fill him with regret and shame for ever putting his feelings before your own.

and then yeonjun officially entered the room.

your eyes helplessly followed him as he rushed forward to stand on the small steps behind kai and wonyoung, a heavy feeling settling into the pit of your stomach like that of a ton of bricks.

it only made matters worse when you noticed his eyes scanning over everyone in the room, unfortunately meaning that he was bound to spot you in a matter of seconds.

your gaze quickly averted down to your nervously fidgeting fingers, feeling a wave of awkwardness settle over you at the thought of him recognizing you amongst the crew. you contemplated on escaping the room altogether, but you knew it would just wind up being all the more suspicious if you suddenly bolted out of the room.

not to mention that it would also be completely unprofessional and immature on your part.

besides, you knew that you couldn't do that to kai anyway.

you had promised him that you would stay by his side all day to support him, so you couldn't possibly run off simply for the sake of your own selfish reasons.

thus, you were left to fall under the burning gaze of yeonjun's eyes. even without looking, you could almost feel the exact moment when he spotted you.

despite your inner reluctance, you still couldn't help yourself from glancing back to meet his eyes across the room. even regardless of your previous reunion back at that stupid party, you somehow found yourself resenting the way his gaze still elicited your heart to flip inside your chest.

"starting in 10!"

the sudden voice of the director counting down the seconds is what finally managed to pull your eyes away, breaking the eye contact that you imagined had lasted for hours.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was feeling completely over the moon. sure, you two may have shared nothing more than a mere glance, but that was seemingly enough for him.

the fact you weren't glaring daggers at him felt like progress already.

then there was kai, who was feigning studying his notecards when, in reality, he was simply trying to avoid acknowledging yeonjun's presence at all. even though he wasn't entirely sure what it was that yeonjun had done to you, he still trusted his gut and absolutely despised everything that he knew about the guy so far.

once the director gave the signal for filming, kai's demeanor instantaneously perked up as his charismatic personality quickly took over in the blink of an eye.

"hueningkai here in the green room!" he announced cheerfully, his adorable smile almost infectious as even you couldn't help but to break into a smile from just watching him.

"and i'm wonyoung!" wonyoung followed after with her camera-perfect smile. "who are we meeting right now?"

"staying cooler than ever, it's choi yeonjun! shall we say hi?"

wonyoung and kai both stepped back from one another to properly reveal yeonjun in between them, cheerfully announcing his presence for everyone watching.

"hi everyone, i'm yeonjun," he spoke casually, lazily saluting the camera in a cool manner before taking a proper bow as wonyoung and kai clapped from beside him.

as you watched the interview progress, you mentally cursed yourself from being unable to prevent your eyes from constantly looking at the one person you'd rather not look at.

after the two of you had broken up, you swore to yourself that you would never see him again for as long as you lived.

you've seen how well that worked out ...

although, considering how long you were able to stick to your word, that meant that you never actually got to see him debut as an idol. sure, you remembered him mentioning it once or twice while you were dating, but you didn't take him seriously since he was usually drunk or hungover anyway.

in any case, you could feel a secret part of yourself growing a little curious - more curious than you'd like to admit - about what kind of music he's released..

as you watched him greet and thank his darling fans for their love and support, you surprisingly found yourself rather captivated by the persona he was showcasing for the camera. you wondered if any of his moawajjuni's knew what kind of person he really was or if they were all too smitten by the perfectly crafted smile plastered on his face.

funnily enough, not that you would ever realize it for yourself, this was actually the first time in his career where yeonjun wasn't purposely putting on an act for the sake of the show.

this would be due to the fact that he may or may not have made himself a little giddy over the thought of you being there to watch him. sure, he knew more than well that you weren't there for him originally, but he's managed to sneak enough glances your way to notice that you have been watching him and not the one you came for.

"thank you! now, i heard your new song 'lonely boy' has a special significance. tell us about the track," kai read off from the notecard, feigning intrigue as he looked towards yeonjun expectantly for his answer.

despite having fully expected this question, what yeonjun was not expecting was for the very person the song was written about to be present in the room when he practiced what he would say.

with a shy smile and a nervous chuckle, yeonjun couldn't help but to boldly glance in your direction and catch your eye before giving his answer.

an unfamiliar chill ran down your spine.

"yes, well .. this song is meant to portray the loneliness and resentment that one may experience after a break up," yeonjun began. "i wanted to use this song as a personal outlet to describe my own feelings left behind after my first love, so i allowed myself to be incredibly vulnerable for this track."

both kai and wonyoung simultaneously released an impressed 'woah' in response to yeonjun's answer - though only wonyoung's would be considered genuine.

unfortunately, you didn't get to hear the rest of the interview, seeing as you needed to escape that suffocating room now more than ever, before all the walls ended up closing in on you.

you couldn't be entirely sure if the room itself had been spinning or if it was all in your head.

all was fine and well until yeonjun uttered the words "first love" far too casually for your liking. and then to have the audacity to look in your direction?! he was certainly crazy... as were you.

after walking around aimlessly, you happened to find momentary solace on the bottom step of the music bank staircase. it only lasted for about fifteen seconds, though, before a familiar idol group had come to kindly ask if they could take a group picture in front of the stairs.

opting to head up the stairs to rest on the bottom step of the second level, you finally had the semi-privacy to pull out your phone and search up the very song that was eating away at your brain.

not that you cared about the song at all, of course not, you were merely just curious. right.. yeah, you didn't care about his supposed 'vulnerability' in the song or if it was secretly about you, no, no ,no. you were simply satisfying your curiosity about what kind of music he sang, that's all.

you continued to stare down at the play button, too embarrassingly afraid to make any move to actually press it.

regardless of how horribly you were trying to convince yourself that you didn't remotely care for the song, you knew far too well that you were scared that you would.

what could yeonjun have possibly written that would cause him to describe it as 'incredibly vulnerable'??

certainly he was smart enough not to be explicit with his details about your past relationship, so what could he really accomplish?

based on the title itself, you even angrily began to wonder if he somehow managed to twist your history around to paint himself as the victim.

the sound of approaching footsteps was what finally dragged you out of your feuding thoughts, though only for your jaw to involuntarily clench once the owner came into view.

"did you like the song?"

you rolled your eyes, subtly trying to lock your phone in hopes of hiding the fact that you had searched it up at all. it was a futile attempt, of course, but you couldn't care less. "i don't know, i didn't listen to it," you deadpanned.

yeonjun tilted his head, slightly confused, considering he was more than certain that he saw his album's logo on your phone just a second ago.

you stood up from the step, shoving your phone back into your pocket. with an annoyed sigh, you clarified, "i never pressed play. i decided i didn't want to hear it."

"you're not even the least bit curious to know how i've felt these past few years?"

"no, yeonjun, i'm not." a lie. "now, if you'll excuse me, i need to go find kai."

you probably made it about five steps before his hand had instinctively reached out to lightly grasp at your wrist and prevent you from walking away any further. even though you knew full well it would be smarter - and all too easy - to pull your arm away and keep walking, you couldn't help yourself from foolishly caving in to his touch.

how was it possible that even after everything, you were still weak to him??

meanwhile, yeonjun was having his own feuding thoughts as his eyes scanned back and forth between yours.

should he do it? should he finally take taehyun's advice?

here he had you in front of him again, allowing him the most perfectly golden opportunity to just come right out and apologize to you the way he should have done five years ago.

but would he take it?

well, he wouldn't exactly be choi yeonjun if he did now, would he?

"come on, just admit you want to hear my gorgeous voice singing to you." he smirked so confidently, yet all the while cursing at himself in his own head. sometimes even he wished he wouldn't open his stupid mouth sometimes.

you rolled your eyes once more, scoffing quietly in disbelief for expecting any different yet again. it was like you never learned to stop having expectations for someone as arrogant as him.

yet you continued to be disappointed every time.

although, despite attempting to walk away again, yeonjun managed to get over himself and stop you one more time.

"no, y/n, wait.." yeonjun visibly winced at the clear desperation in his voice to keep you with him, but he knew he needed to get over himself if he wanted to make any progress with you. "look, i just ... it would mean a lot to me if you listened to the song."

almost like a gust of wind, your hostility towards him diminished instantaneously. the gentle tone of his voice and the way his eyes avoided yours.. it was hard to believe that this was even the same yeonjun from just a moment before.

even from the light grasp he had on your wrist, yeonjun was surprisingly able to feel the tension relax from your body. from the moment he dropped his cocky exterior, he wondered if even just a sliver of your guard had dropped around him.

maybe, just maybe, this was how he could win your heart again..

yeonjun swallowed the lump that now resided in his throat, his gaze suddenly unwavering. he could hear taehyun's voice echoing in his head, "just fucking do it".

"y/n ... i'm s-"

"y/nie, there you are!"

startled by the sudden voice coming up behind you, your head whipped around to see kai making his way up the music bank steps towards you.

"it's almost time for me to announce this week's chart scores! you're coming, aren't you?"

although he appeared cheerful based on his voice and the bright smile adorning his lips, the look in his eyes only hardened as they glanced momentarily at the hand that was still wrapped delicately around your wrist.

of course, that wouldn't be a look you'd recognize at all. most especially since you were now more focused on the fact that you had almost forgotten your job entirely.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was glaring daggers down at the boy who had dared to interrupt his moment with you. just when he felt that he could ease his way into your life just a little bit more, that cursed homewrecker friend of yours had to come and ruin it.

"yes of course, i just-"

"y/n.."

you sighed rather heavily, reluctantly turning back around to be met with yeonjun's now pitiful gaze — a look you had never seen for as long as you had known him.

curse your weak heart for fluttering at such a moment like this.

"look, i'll listen to it later, but i need to get back to my job," you finally told him, gently pulling your arm completely from his grasp.

"will you tell me what you think?" yeonjun's voice was uncharacteristically soft as he spoke to you. whether it was to keep kai from overhearing your conversation or to purposely melt your heart even more, you could not be sure.

were it any other day, you were more than positive that you would have looked your arrogant ex-boyfriend in the eye and laughed directly in his face.

but for some reason, in this moment in time, you hesitated. despite knowing that the most reasonable option would be to deny his request and ensure that he remained out of your life the way he should have... you couldn't do it.

instead, you shrugged and responded with a weak, "we'll see."

sure, it may not have been a direct yes and it definitely gave you more than enough leeway to never contact him again, but it was enough hope for yeonjun to break into a genuine smile.

kai, on the other hand, decided now would be his best opportunity to take it upon himself and end the little moment before it could drag on any further.

"come on, y/nie, we'll get scolded if we're late!" he called to you in his innocent tone, stepping just close enough to cutely grab your hand and begin dragging you away.

without another word, you left with kai towards where he was needed on the main stage.

that was odd, wasn't it?

you kept replaying the interaction with yeonjun in your head and the only word you could think to describe it was .. odd.

it started off as normal as you would've expected – with him being his usual asshole self – but then you saw that different side of him right as you were attempting to leave. hell, even when you were dating, you never knew that there was any part of him that was capable of being remotely vulnerable.

"y/nie, you okay?"

kai's gentle voice only barely broke through your thoughts, allowing you to finally remember where you were.

"huh? oh.. yeah, i'm fine, don't worry."

based on that response, it didn't seem fine to him. clearly your mind was elsewhere, and it was all too evident to figure out where it was – or, rather, who it went to.

before the two of you could cross the threshold of the doors leading to the main stage, kai made a silent and sudden decision to abruptly stop and pull you off to the side.

seeing as you were rightfully confused, you questioned him, "kai, what're you-"

"when are you going to tell me what happened between you and yeonjun?"

your jaw gaped slightly, stunned by the sudden question that you hadn't expected in the slightest. you were blinking in surprise, looking around the hall to ensure no one else was around.

"oh, kai... i don't think this is the time or place to have this conversation."

normally, kai would agree with you. he'd be his usual, patient self and quickly move on if you weren't comfortable with opening up to him. this time, though, he's admittedly had quite enough of this yeonjun character being around you lately.

sure, it's only been twice now, but it was enough for him to strongly dislike it.

seeing as it was very uncharacteristic of your little huening to be without a smile, you were beginning to feel the seriousness of the situation.

with a small sigh, you finally nodded. you figured it wouldn't hurt to be honest with your best friend, but you still chose to remain vague about the more specific details for now.

"yeonjun is my ... ex."

cue kai's heart plummeting directly into his stomach.

you dated him?! how long ago? was it serious? how long was the relationship? did you love him? why did you break up?

"it was years ago, honestly," you spoke up before kai could even get out one of the many questions that were swirling around in his mind. "it was when we were still in college. it was just ... it wasn't a good break up, i guess. so now every time i see him, it's-"

"uncomfortable?" kai suggested, tilting his head ever so curiously - and, admittedly, a little hopeful.

you considered the word, slowly nodding as a way of agreement. "well, yes, that too." you still hesitated, struggling to think of a more fitting word for how it felt to be near him. "awkward... maybe?" you decided, still feeling unsure.

though, no other word would come to mind that felt as close to the situation.

and it was true, at least.

perhaps it wasn't that you were necessarily uncomfortable with yeonjun, it was purely just awkward to be around him after everything the two of you had been through together.

the years of growing together to know one another both inside and out. the moments of intimacy shared between you two that will forever be ingrained into your mind and body. to think that for years of your life, he had been your other half and then suddenly ... you were as close as strangers.

the only word you could imagine being appropriate enough to describe it was ... awkward.

"why did you guys break up?" kai dared to ask, his voice soft so as to tread lightly on the topic.

you squeezed your lips together, avoiding meeting his eyes as you thought back to the not-so-fond memory.

a memory you didn't exactly feel like reliving in the hallways of music bank.

"look, can we please get back to the reason why we're here before we both get in trouble?"

before kai could be given even a brief moment to push the question any further, it was your turn to take his hand and drag him to the main stage – where everyone had been desperately waiting for him in order to get started with filming.

even beomgyu appeared to be glaring in both of your directions, as if to telepathically scold you both for leaving him to be nervous all by himself.

"don't forget she's my manager too, huening!" beomgyu whined as you both approached him, his lips pouting adorably as he did.

you couldn't fight the amused smile that adorned your lips, realizing it had to be beomgyu's nerves getting after the two of you more than anything. seeing as he had been standing by the curtain leading towards the center stage, it was more than clear that he was getting worked up after having spotted the full crowd awaiting the k-chart scores.

you rushed up to the pouting boy, engulfing him instantaneously in a tight hug. "oh, calm down, i'm here now, okay? i wouldn't miss your big win for the world!"

although he still wasn't at 100%, it still helped greatly for beomgyu to know that you would be there to support him wholeheartedly. he returned the hug with no hesitation, tightening the embrace almost desperately before the crew signaled for both him and kai to officially enter onto the main stage.

even though your conversation with him was still fresh at the back of his mind, kai managed to push it all aside for the time being to focus on the job at hand. he stood now beside wonyoung, a bright smile on his face for the camera, pretending for the viewers that he wasn't remotely bothered at the thought of his best friend being anywhere close to that fox-eyed jerk.

and as you watched anxiously as the numbers calculated themselves on the big screen, no other thought was important to you anymore.

you didn't care about the song from before. you didn't care about your ex-boyfriend's sudden personality change. you didn't even care that you were standing almost in sight of the cameras - though a staff member did have to pull you a couple steps back eventually.

no, all you cared about was watching hueningkai happily announce beomgyu's name as he was announced number one for the week.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

to no one's surprise - or, at least, certainly not to yours - beomgyu won by a landslide.

as he deeply expressed his gratitude and appreciation to his beloved bamtoris, kai and wonyoung waved their goodbyes and exited the stage to allow beomgyu his moment to perform his title track.

"as proud as i am of beomgyu, don't think for a second that i'm not just as proud of you!"

kai blinked in surprise, a bright pink hue kissing color into his cheeks as he processed your sudden words of praise. though, he was more caught off-guard by his heart practically somersaulting in his chest as a reaction.

certainly he never reacted that way before?

"..me? why?"

"because you were a wonderful mc today, kai!" you praised him yet again, bounding over with a bright smile and embracing your best friend around the waist. "i can't believe you don't get invited more often! you truly have such a natural charisma."

if it were at all possible, kai seriously could have stood there for hours in hopes that you would compliment him over and over again. though, at the same time, he didn't think his heart could handle the overwhelming feeling for too long.

luckily for kai's weak heart, beomgyu's performance eventually ended and he met up with the two of you immediately upon exiting the stage.

in the midst of his excitement, he wrapped his arms around both yours and kai's shoulders to bring you in for a group hug. it was truly a precious moment, causing your heart to swell with an overwhelmingly joyous emotion.

although it wasn't your usual forte, you refused to waste such a perfect opportunity to take out your phone and savor the moment with a group selca. just you and your two favorite boys.

"alright, alright, we're very proud of both of you as well, but we can't stay here forever," a personal staff member of your company chuckled upon approaching the three of you. "let's get you boys to the dressing rooms."

"ah, that's right, i need to take this mic pack off," kai realized, turning back to congratulate beomgyu once more before promising to meet up with the two of you shortly after.

although a small part of him was a little reluctant on leaving you by yourself, in fear that yeonjun would somehow approach you again and risk making you uncomfortable at all, kai decided that you should be fine as long as you're with beomgyu.

and so he was ushered off to his dressing room, where it was all too difficult for kai not to take notice of the strange presence that awaited him on his chair.

a bright orange fox plush that certainly wasn't there when he was here earlier.

as the staff were moving all around him, lifting his shirt to unstrap the mic, a small smile graced his lips as he pondered over who may have left such a cute gift for him to find.

of course, there was only one person he could think of that would do such a thing — as well as only one person he hoped it would be from.

the moment he was left alone, he walked over and grabbed the precious plush in his hand, only for his smile to drop almost instantaneously upon flipping over the notecard that was attached to the ear.

please call me (xxx)xxx-xxxx yj

unfortunately, kai was more than certain that he could piece together who the message was from and who it was meant for, and it certainly wasn't for himself. ensuring to keep the note itself intact, kai popped off the string that was connecting the notecard to the ear in order to examine it closer.

with the notecard still in his hand, kai's head shot up in the slightest bit of shock at the sound of the dressing room door opening shortly afterward. although he was half expecting for yeonjun himself to show up and confront him, kai was, luckily, able to relax upon seeing your bright smile greeting him from the doorway.

"hey, you all done? beomgyu and i are-" a sudden gasp escaped your lips as you glanced down at the plush that kai held in his hands. "oh, cute! did somebody leave that as a gift for you?"

"no, actually," kai suddenly found himself answering honestly. "it's supposed to be for you."

much to his dismay, he couldn't miss the bright sparkle in your eyes upon hearing his words. of course you'd be excited at the thought of receiving such an adorable gift .. but would you feel the same if you knew who it was from?

"awww!" you cooed excitedly, entering the room further and holding a hand above your heart in sincerity. "that's so sweet, kai ... you got a plush for me?"

hesitating ... why is he hesitating?

kai glanced down at the plush, blinking in uncertainty as he read over the card that was still held in his other hand. he swallowed the lump that now resided in his throat, quickly looking up to meet your eyes again as he now flashed an innocent smile in your direction.

"of course i did. i told you i'd get you something, remember?"

he outstretched his hand to you in order to properly give you the fox plush as a gift, his other hand slyly sliding the note into his back pocket away from your view.

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

can i promise that i won't disappear for a long time again? no .. not at all. BUT i can promise that i will not be giving up on this story. i may be an awful procrastinator, but i'll be damned if i let this story rot away in my drafts.

thank you for waiting anyway, i truly appreciate everyone who is still here even after i've showcased myself to be an awful writer and even worse updater. pretty sure i've lost sight of where this was originally headed, but .. oh well. let's see where it goes from here.

also i'm 97% sure this taglist is hardly active anymore, so uhhh .. i'll probably be stalking you guys for inactivity to remove later. sorry :( <;3

series taglist:

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @softcabur @marekmybeloved @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

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beomgyuslilracha · 7 months

Text

at first i was procrastinating and then ideas for ydgtp came to me while feeding my dogs, so don't go giving up on me now when things are coming

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beomgyuslilracha · 8 months

Text

you don't go to parties ☆.* 5

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: besides my own bad writing? none !

⊹ wc: 4.9k

in the midst of the early morning, you were suddenly woken up in a state of surprise by a seemingly odd, and rather loud, thud. sitting up in a rush, you quickly began to rub at your tired eyes in order to look around and discover the source of the noise.

you first took note of the empty space in the bed beside you, where you certainly remembered a cute blonde boy used to be. noticing the way the bed sheets seemed to have been dragged off towards his side, you slowly crawled forward to peer over the edge.

that was how you spotted little huening sprawled out on your bedroom floor.

"oh my God, kai, are you okay?" you asked him, stifling a laugh while trying to maintain a look of concern. you figured he must have accidentally rolled right off while he was still half-asleep.

"yeah, i'm okay," kai eventually grumbled in response, though his face was practically glowing the deepest shade of red – you assumed as a result from his embarrassment.

it was ... partially true, at least.

he would never admit it to you in a million years, but, truthfully, you were the actual reason he had fallen over.

perhaps 'fallen' wasn't the correct word, rather, he threw himself over the side entirely by choice.

when he had awoken just a moment or so before you, he hadn't expected to wake up so ... close. your noses were mere centimeters from brushing together, and he felt the warmth of your hand unconsciously tangled with his.

at first, kai was completely frozen in place – too nervous to make any sudden movements that would cause you to pull away. he didn't even register any signs of leftover drowsiness in himself, too mesmerized by how ethereal you looked now in front of him.

he wasn't sure if it was the way the sunlight was gently caressing your skin from between the gaps of the curtain now, or if he was truly seeing you in a far different light than before..

he searched through the memories in his mind, but he couldn't seem to pinpoint the exact moment where he started to feel so strangely around you. he most especially couldn't comprehend the dull ache in his chest that he was feeling or what it could possibly mean.

noting the way your shoulders slightly rose and fell as you breathed ever so softly and the way he could feel your fingers gently and unknowingly tighten around his own, the only thing that he was certain of was that there was no sight more breathtakingly beautiful than what he was seeing now.

with the hand that was not entwined with yours, he ever so carefully lifted his finger to hover just a centimeter away from you. he was hesitant, but he so badly wanted to tuck the stray strand of hair that had cascaded down your face.

that was when you breathed in a little more deeply, slightly stirring in your sleep and catching kai completely off-guard.

the sudden movement had surprised him so much, along with caused his heart rate to increase instantaneously out of panic, that his only reasonable reaction was to throw himself as far from you as he possibly could.

as he looked up at you now, with your hair a mess and your smile beaming down at him, the pounding of his heart seemed to only get worse.

why was this happening?

you reach out your hand to the poor boy, shaking your head as you laughed softly. "come on, get up. i imagine you'd be much more comfortable up here than down there."

kai took your hand for the support to sit back up, but he couldn't help but to mumble quietly under his breath, "i wouldn't be so sure.."

you ruffled his bedhead playfully, smiling at your best friend so sweetly. it wasn't every morning that you got to wake up with a smile on your face, so you were grateful for the boy in front of you now. "here, let me wash up and then i'll make you breakfast so you can feel better, okay?" you giggled at him, sitting back up from the bed and making your way into the restroom.

kai watched your figure disappear behind the bathroom door, and his lips were quick to form into a pout as the door closed behind you. "i don't think that's going to make me feel better," he muttered to himself.

except he was lying and he knew that was definitely going to make him feel more than just better.

even by the time that you had left the restroom for him to take his turn, he was all the more eager to wash up even quicker in order to spend the morning with you.

just the thought of being with you had him smiling extra hard at his reflection in the mirror as he washed his face. he couldn't tell if his face was warm from the water or from his thoughts...

even the simple action of placing his spare toothbrush beside yours had him smiling so shyly. it was so cute, and for what?

almost like ... almost like if you two were-

"woah, are those eggos?" kai questioned aloud, stopping all train of thought after entering the kitchen.

you glanced up towards the newfound presence in the room, your hand paused wrist-deep in the aforementioned box of eggos. "yeah.. is that okay?"

kai laughed, though a bit confused. "of course it's okay. why wouldn't it be?"

"just in case i gave you the false impression that i actually know how to make a proper breakfast," you admitted with a cheeky smile, popping the eggos into the toaster.

kai took it upon himself to search for the syrup, mentally taking note of all the leftover takeout stocked in your fridge. he was not at all under any impression that you were capable of cooking any meal at this point.

not that he was any better, since he had not a single cooking skill in his body, so who was he to judge?

once all the eggo waffles were ready to eat, you brought out the containers of fruit and whipped cream to decorate the tops with.

where kai decided to make a cute face on his, you opted for an aesthetic fruit tower on yours.

breakfast was cute and casual, minus the mini fight with the whipped cream the two of you had afterward when you thought it'd be funny to put some on his nose — causing you both to have to take turns showering in order to wash it out of your hair.

"we need to start heading out soon," you announced to kai after he exited the bathroom, scrubbing his hair dry with a towel. "beomgyu is already spamming our group chat wondering where we are."

kai pouted, glancing over at you sitting patiently at the edge of your bed. you were already fully dressed for the day, whilst he was wearing the spare sweatpants you got for him - after staining his jeans earlier from the syrup and whipped cream.

if kai was being honest, he had completely forgotten about music bank already. despite the fact that it was a big day for him, he felt that he would much rather stay at your apartment and spend the entire day with you.

taking note of his small pout, you giggled - assuming that he was merely nervous about having to mc today instead of anything else. "come on, i'll help you practice the whole way, okay?"

kai smiled sweetly at you, not wanting to have to explain that that wasn't exactly the dilemma he was dealing with.

either way - at least he knew you'd be there for him the entire day anyway.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

by the time the two of you arrived at the set of music bank, the surrounding staff wasted no time in ushering kai away to be dressed and ready to film.

meanwhile, you decided to use this opportunity to search around the halls and public spaces for any sign of beomgyu. he mentioned in his messages that he'd be waiting for you in the room designated for him and his personal staff.

unfortunately, he failed to mention exactly where that was, and now he was failing to respond to your most recent messages.

in which case, left you wandering the halls like that of a lost puppy.

it didn't help when it seemed like every idol in the entire industry seemed to be filming challenges of some sort or another in every area of the building, so it was making it rather difficult to navigate around.

"damn it, choi beomgyu, i'm seriously going to kill you," you muttered under your breath in annoyance as you dialed his number and received no answer again.

for someone who was whining and wondering where you were, it sure was an awful coincidence for him to go radio silent the second you were looking for him.

"did you say you were looking for beomgyu?"

at first you were startled by the sudden voice that just so happened to overhear you talking to yourself, but it was quickly replaced with a wave of relief as you hoped to finally have some form of help in finding your friend.

"yes! please tell me you've seen him!" you practically pleaded to the stranger, but your demeanor suddenly changed into that of curiosity as you took a moment to process the stranger's appearance.

... silver hair ...

meanwhile, in that same instant, his eyes widened similarly as he registered just exactly who you were for himself.

"uh- yeah," taehyun had to clear his throat to regain his composure. he hadn't expected to be the one to run into you while on his way to look for yeonjun. "i'm pretty sure i saw him upstairs filming a challenge."

"thank you so much, really," you thanked him profusely, bowing formally to fully express your gratitude, regardless of the simplicity of the situation.

"no problem. i hope you find him."

taehyun then began to walk away, wanting to find yeonjun and immediately tell him how incredibly out of his league you are — your pictures certainly didn't do you enough justice.

although, he was surprised to feel a small tug on his sleeve preventing him from walking away, and he turned his head to see that it was your hand that was gently holding him back.

you even surprised yourself, unable to believe your own actions.

why did you stop him?

you weren't seriously going to ask him, were you??

"um, actually ..." now that you put yourself into this predicament, you realized you had absolutely no way of actually figuring out how to go about it.

as you were hesitating, taehyun was left standing in utter confusion. nevertheless, he maintained his polite smile and waited patiently for you to gather your words.

he would come to realize that he should've ran off when he had the chance.

"by any chance, are you the one whose been leaving gifts ... for me?" you finally managed the words, though you could feel your entire face warming 20 degrees and glowing with embarrassment.

funnily enough, taehyun's face was glowing a matching shade of red to yours in an equal amount of embarrassment.

not for quite the same reason you'd imagine, though.

taehyun's lips parted as if to speak, but not a single word left his mouth. you wondered if this could be due to the fact that he was shy from having been confronted so suddenly, but this would actually be due to the war going on inside his head on how to properly handle the situation.

on one hand, he could easily throw yeonjun entirely under the bus and allow himself to be upfront and honest with you to avoid any misunderstandings.

on the other hand, he could take the fall for his friend and try to explain the situation as vaguely as he can in order to, hopefully, avoid any misunderstandings.

unfortunately, much to his own dismay, taehyun was not the type of guy to betray his friend ... regardless of how badly he wished he could.

which left him to settle for the most difficult hand.

nervously scratching at the back of his head, taehyun averted his gaze as he finally gained the courage to respond, "yes, that ... that would be me."

your blush deepened instantaneously at the confirmation, and your hands quickly reached up to cover your burning cheeks in an attempt to hide how badly you were blushing.

you felt more so embarrassed that you did not recognize the boy in front of you whatsoever, yet here he was boldly admitting that he was your secret admirer all along.

of course, he wasn't actually your secret admirer, but he couldn't bring himself to break yeonjun's trust and tell you that.

which, incidentally, has lead to a misunderstanding.

"um, listen," you finally spoke up, your voice suddenly quieter than normal due to your newfound shyness. "i want to truly thank you for your gifts. i appreciate them so much; i can't remember the last time anyone has ever gifted me with anything so lovely."

taehyun squeezed his lips together to refrain from blurting out the truth to you then and there. he felt he was extremely unworthy of your thanks when he had originally thought yeonjun's gifts were all lame in the first place.

although, he was taken aback when he felt a strange tug in his heart when he couldn't help himself from thinking that you looked pretty cute when you blush..

a thought he would never share to anyone.

"well, i'm just happy to know that they were able to make you smile," taehyun responded simply and kindly, though still managing to make you blush even more than you already were.

"um, i hate to ask this, but ... i don't believe i know your name."

you felt utterly embarrassed having to ask for his name. for someone to know more about you than you do about them felt almost shameful, especially when he clearly held some sense of romantic feelings for you.

again, this is with you being entirely unaware that taehyun was nothing but a messenger caught in the middle of your ex-boyfriend's schemes.

"no, don't worry! it's kang taehyun, but you're more than welcome to speak informally with me," taehyun told you matter-of-factly, smiling so sweetly that it only succeeded in making you feel worse for having no recollection of him at all.

and to reiterate for the last time, this would be because you have no actual memories of him because neither of you actually met prior to this moment.

with a scarlet hue coloring your cheeks, you figured it wouldn't hurt to take a leap of courage and ask for his number in order to get to know him more.

just as you opened your mouth to ask, that was when you were both interrupted by one of the last people you wanted to see.

"y/nie, there you are! where have you been?!"

you could say that beomgyu has a weird knack for having the most God awful timing known to man.

both you and taehyun turned to watch as beomgyu bounded over cheerfully, quickly engulfing you into a bear hug to wordlessly express how much he missed you.

as appreciated as it was, this was still not the time

"i should be asking you that when you're the one who didn't answer any of my texts or calls," you told him, shaking your head.

taehyun couldn't help but to smirk in amusement at how quickly your behavior changed now that beomgyu was present. did he sense that you were rather disappointed to be interrupted?

as beomgyu explained to you how he left his phone with the staff while recording challenges, taehyun was wondering to himself if he should take this as his cue to leave.

"well, since you found him, i'm going to go ahead and-"

"no, wait!" you had reached out instinctively to lightly grasp at his sleeve again, wanting to keep him with you for just one moment longer. "i really want to be able to thank you properly, so ... if it's okay with you, can we exchange numbers?"

taehyun certainly surprised himself to feel his face grow a few degrees warmer at your words combined with how cutely you tugged at his sleeve.

why does he keep finding you cute??

"you really don't have to," taehyun insisted, chuckling softly as he forced himself to ignore the thought that had swirled around in his head for a second too long.

"please? it's the least i could do, really!"

with a shy smile, taehyun practically folded as he officially gave in and agreed.

feeling entirely out of the loop, beomgyu was left to watch with confusion as you and taehyun exchanged numbers with a promise to talk again.

after finally bidding a goodbye to taehyun, you turned around and could only roll your eyes as you spotted the most shit-eating grin plastered across beomgyu's face. the second he started wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you lightly shoved him away and began to walk off to find kai instead.

"soooooo, who was he~?" beomgyu teased as he followed beside you, leaning his body forward to get a good view of the way your cheeks were intensifying in color.

you pursed your lips, pausing your steps to look at beomgyu properly. "do you remember my secret admirer?"

"yeah, why?"

you raised your brows in an insinuative manner, hoping to hint to beomgyu exactly what you were trying to imply without having to outright say the words out loud.

thankfully, his eyes widened in acknowledgement just a moment after and his jaw gaped with surprise. "that was him?!"

you nodded shyly, feeling the heat radiating from your cheeks yet again at the mere thought.

"oh we have to tell kai!" beomgyu insisted, scoffing in disbelief.

"you have to tell kai what?"

both yours and beomgyu's heads whipped around to see none other than kai himself walking over to you both, his eyes already sparkling brightly with curiosity.

and just like magic, all was quickly forgotten as you found a smile instinctively gracing your lips at the sight of your best friend.

"kai!" you cheered happily, closing the gap and wrapping your arms around him in a way that made his heart flutter.

it had only been maybe an hour since the two of you had been separated, but it always felt like centuries when you two were apart.

"y/nie!" kai echoed back with a soft laugh, returning the embrace just as eagerly.

"yeah, yeah, you two missed each other," beomgyu rolled his eyes, already far too used to your sickeningly sweet behavior with one another than he'd like to be. "anyway, kai, listen! guess who y/n just met!"

kai probably tried about two guesses before beomgyu grew impatient and ended up dropping the little game altogether.

"she met her secret admirer!"

at this, kai's bright smile of amusement seemed to falter as he processed the news in his head.

a bad feeling seemed to settle in his chest, but he wasn't quite sure how to decipher what it could possibly mean. perhaps he thought the secret admirer was bad news?

but how could he .. when he never met him?

"hello? earth to huening?"

kai blinked back into reality, not even aware that he had dazed off into his own thoughts. he now came to realize that you and beomgyu had been left staring at him rather oddly when he didn't react or respond right away as they expected him to.

"oh, sorry, i was ..." trying to figure out why i hate someone i never actually met. "trying to see if i could picture who it was."

"oh, that's right! he might be one of the idols promoting today," you gasped, your hand reaching up to cover your mouth.

"what was his name?" kai asked you, his underlying intentions disguised under the premise of simply wanting to answer your curiosity.

"kang taehyun!"

kai's head tilted as he thought over the list of idols present today, but, surprisingly, the name didn't ring a bell whatsoever.

this realization only worsened the ugly, twisting feeling in his gut as he believed that he must have shown up for the sole purpose of seeing you..

"i don't recognize his name, actually," kai explained in a voice that was way softer than he intended it to be.

beomgyu was pondering to himself when a certain thought suddenly came into his mind. "wait a minute, isn't he friends with-"

"KAI!"

all three of your heads whipped around to see wonyoung, kai's co-host, rushing over with a worried expression plastered over her features.

"what are you doing? we've been looking all over for you! we go live in 2 minutes!"

kai's expression quickly transitioned into one of panic as he grasped the situation at hand. "ah, i'm so sorry! i'm coming now!" he turned to give you a rushed kiss on the forehead before dashing off towards the main set — with poor wonyoung left trying to keep up behind him.

now with filming about to start, you bid beomgyu a goodbye and good luck as you headed off to search for the reserved section where you'd be able to proudly watch both your boys.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

meanwhile, in a different area of the building, another war was raging inside poor taehyun's head as he walked through the halls in search of where yeonjun had said his dressing room would be.

the same yeonjun whose ex-girlfriend he just finished exchanging numbers with...

taehyun ran a hand through his hair stressfully, going over his options yet again.

on the same hand as before, he could always be upfront and honest and explain to yeonjun exactly what happened. he can tell him how he didn't want to throw yeonjun under the bus, so he selflessly took the fall ... which may or may not have lead to a misunderstanding.

but on the other hand, in the fear that yeonjun may overreact and take such news rather negatively - which, let's be fair, is a much higher possibility than taehyun would like - he could always just withhold the information and ensure that things with you never went any further.

or, perhaps, he could settle for the secret third option where he can avoid the topic altogether if he can just manage to encourage (aka force) yeonjun to apologize to you as soon as possible.

upon discovering and entering the room where yeonjun was residing, taehyun could only wonder if he was being a little too hopeful in thinking his friend was anywhere near ready, or mature enough, to do so.

"you can't be serious?" taehyun questioned, now staring down at the fox plush in his hands. "please tell me this is a joke meant specifically to annoy me?"

yeonjun squeezed his lips together, now rather embarrassed. he was much more confident about the idea in his mind just a minute ago, but now taehyun was causing him to have second thoughts.

"you don't think she'll like it?"

taehyun couldn't help but to sigh. "total honesty? i think it's stupid and, last i checked, she's not a child." he shook his head to express his disappointment, tossing the plush back into the pouting boy's hands.

actually, now having met you briefly for himself, taehyun was quite sure that you really would still greatly appreciate the gift — but, if taehyun wanted yeonjun to make any progress, he needed to take a much bigger step than surprise gifts already.

on top of that, now that you were under the impression that taehyun was your secret admirer, this new gift would have a far different meaning that yeonjun would most definitely not appreciate.

unaware of taehyun's thoughts, yeonjun was staring down at the plush now for himself, remembering how brilliant he originally had thought the idea had been when he first bought the gift. you used to tell him how much he resembled a fox all those years ago when you were together, so he foolishly hoped that it would be a cute reminder for you...

"yeonjun," taehyun sighed again, shaking his head with a pitiful expression adorning his features. "i just want to state, for the record, that there's no rule out there that says you can't just walk up and apologize to her directly."

yeonjun groaned aloud, now tossing the plushie halfheartedly onto the couch cushion of the dressing room. "i can't just walk up to her, are you kidding?!"

taehyun had to close his eyes and contain himself for a moment, reminding himself that it would be unwise to punch the idiot right before he has to be on camera.

even though he hadn't exactly been yeonjun's biggest fan these past few years, he at least tolerated him so much more back then than the way he was acting now. it was as if any ounce of common sense had left his body when it came to anything involving you.

"yes, actually, you can. that's the crazy thing about legs," taehyun remarked sarcastically.

yeonjun narrowed his eyes in taehyun's direction, clearly not remotely amused by the comment.

eventually another sigh escaped taehyun's lips — an unfortunate habit that he picked up ever since he agreed to help with the poor idiot sulking in front of him.

"look, i know you're dead set on this whole plan you got going on, but why do you even want this so badly? i mean, from what you've told me, she's already made her stance perfectly clear about how she feels about you."

a silence filled the room as yeonjun let the question linger in the air.

it was a disgusting question, he felt, but it was also reasonable enough to be wondered.

why did he want you so badly?

it wasn't like he hadn't tried to move on - believe me - but it just never felt the same. regardless of how many girls he met and dated, he couldn't push away that annoying voice in his head reminding him that none of them will ever be you.

you were the one that got away.

the one he should have never let go.

you were the one person in the world that helped him understand what love felt like ... and he took it for granted.

then to hear you practically say that the two of you didn't belong together?!

"i want to prove her wrong," yeonjun stated simply, shrugging nonchalantly as he chose to keep his other racing thoughts hidden.

he didn't feel it was any of taehyun's business to understand his true feelings for you. yeonjun wasn't the kind of guy who needed someone to confide in, so he was more than adamant on keeping it that way.

"and what exactly are you proving wrong?"

yeonjun rolled his eyes in annoyance, already growing tired of taehyun's questions. "i want to prove to her that i'm not the same person i was. that i am willing to put in effort to be with her."

yeonjun could feel himself subconsciously getting worked up, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath.

if nothing else, taehyun could at least sense yeonjun's genuine passion for the matter — even if his ideas have been rather subpar in showcasing any of it.

"that's why i think actually going up to her would show more effort than secretly leaving her little gifts," taehyun explained.

yeonjun's original confidence was quickly deflated by taehyun's simple words, leaving him to slump down on the couch in despair. his hands grasped at his hair in frustration as he groaned. "i can't!"

after more back and forth between the two, with no progress being made on either end of the argument, a soft knock on the door earned both of their attention. according to the staff member that entered, yeonjun's segment of filming was coming up shortly.

"look, just ...," yeonjun paused, quickly scribbling onto the notecard attached to the plushie before shoving it into taehyun's hands. "she'll probably be in that walking stick's dressing room, so can you just leave this there so she can find it? i'll figure out the rest later."

with that, and no further elaboration, yeonjun turned and left with the staff to head to the main stage.

taehyun stared blankly at the doorway that yeonjun just disappeared through, realizing that he was left with absolutely no idea who the supposed 'walking stick' was supposed to be.

luckily, taehyun possessed incredible critical-thinking skills.

he deduced that you were clearly here in support of beomgyu and hueningkai, meaning that it could only be one of the two that yeonjun was referring to.

considering yeonjun definitely knew of beomgyu by name, that left hueningkai being the aforementioned insult that taehyun would rather not repeat.

once he had that figured out, taehyun then double-checked the notecard to ensure that yeonjun hadn't written anything embarrassing again.

hm.. his phone number.

with a sigh, taehyun shook his head and left the note alone. he supposed - and hoped - that would at least be a tiny step towards some sort of progress.

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a/n:

hehe so uhh .. it's been a while .. but i'm back !! i've had this series in the back of my mind for the longest time and i am finally back and focused to pick it back up! unfortunately, i wish that i could say i was proud of this part, but ... i'm mixed feelings. since i was away from the story for so long, i lost that rhythm of how i wanted to portray the characters and how i wanted the story to flow :( luckily i left myself notes to remind myself of major key points whenever i came back to it - i'm hoping that they paid off!

i sincerely hope that no one is disappointed or upset by waiting for so long just so this update can flop, so uhhhh .. if anyone could let me know what you think, that would be greatly appreciated !! and thank you to those who waited patiently and still support me even though i disappear so much :( <3 you guys make me so happy, i hope you know that. i just hope i didn't disappoint!

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @rizzshimura @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @junzwrld @gyuuluvrs @goldennika @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @lubtou @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @jwicore @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @sparkswhoz @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @blondsoobinenthusiast @whippedforbeomgyu @l0stindigo @angelbythewindow @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe @catsyoon @wereonfire @heartattackreader @myjaeyunn

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @dongmeiii @softcabur @marekmybeloved @aishidaishi @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

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