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beombeomlovesme · 3 months

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Try to make a better short story level IMPOSSIBLE??? HELLO THIS IS SO GOOD

don’t delete the kisses ｡ﾟ🎶 ⋆₊

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: angst, smut, ex-bestfriends to lovers, ex bff!beomgyu, musician!beomgyu, mutual (unknown) pining, fluff if you squint, non-idol!au, alcohol/drinking

synopsis: two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu. two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends. now he’s an up and coming musician and you see his face and hear his music almost everywhere in your local city; not knowing that the songs he writes are about you.

warnings: tipsy sex (consensual), soft sex basically, lots of yearning, unprotected sex (wrap it then tap it), oral (f. rec), kinda service top!beomgyu, slight overstimulation (m. rec), beomgyu is really just catering to y/n, some hair pulling (m. rec), multiple orgasms, creampie, petnames (baby), aftercare

word count: 9.3k┊v-day event masterlist┊txt masterlist

a/n: based off don’t delete the kisses by wolf alice and part three of my v-day event! i didn’t mean for this to be 9.3k omg. be glad i didn’t have the party hosted by jackson wang lmao.. sorry if the lyrics are kinda bad i am nawt a songwriter (there’s no like certain tune to them so reading them regularly is fine)! this beomgyu is the one i was imagining in this (he’s sooo fucking pretty). i hope you enjoy! ♡

two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu.

it was a jarring realization; realizing that you’ve been harboring these slowly growing feelings for him all this time. it was as if one day the house was empty and the next all of the furniture and decorations were displayed and put up. like beomgyu had lived in the recesses of your mind all this time and you’ve never even known.

your acceptance was gradual, mainly because you had buried yourself in your studies along with beomgyu so you didn’t spend as much time together as you both would have wanted. he was studying music, his passion since before you’ve even known him, and you were studying writing. beomgyu was working on his debut ep and you were working on your debut novel.

you had noticed it when you started to realize how much the love interest in your novel reminded you of him. and then how much of your love interest actually was beomgyu, down to similarities in their physical description. it was a moment that beomgyu himself was present for, surprisingly.

beomgyu was sitting on your couch, strumming chords lightly and humming softly to himself as he polished up one of the songs he was writing. you were in the corner of the room at your desk, proofreading the chapter you had just written. a gasp had left your lips as you stared wide eyed at the bright white screen in front of you.

the strumming abruptly stopped as beomgyu turned to you, “what is it?” you bit down on your bottom lip as you read the paragraph over and over again. you saw him shift in the corner of your eye and knew he was about to come and see for himself. quickly, you changed the tab to the one that held your outline. “it’s nothing,” you turned, smiling over at him. “just realized that i accidentally created a huge plot hole…” beomgyu chuckled before returning back to his song.

that night, you had read over everything you’ve written so far in a flurry. beomgyu was everywhere in your novel. from the main character to the side characters to the love interest. there was no escaping him.

“shit,” you muttered as you trailed a hand down your face, throwing your laptop onto your bed as you got up to get a drink from the kitchen. tiptoeing past beomgyu’s room in your shared apartment, you reached the kitchen quietly, hopeful that you didn’t somehow wake him.

turns out that was pointless since beomgyu was leaning against the counter, eyes trained on you. you jumped and threw a hand against your chest. “why aren’t you asleep?!” you whisper-yelled, even though there was no need since it was only the two of you in the apartment. beomgyu grinned, putting the cup he was holding to his lips, “why aren’t you?” he spoke softly as well and you walked over to join him.

beomgyu shined hazily in the orange stove light and you took a sip from the glass of alcohol you poured as you looked at him. the two of you stood there for a moment, quietly taking in each other’s presence.

“so why are you awake? it’s almost four in the morning,” beomgyu asked quietly as he broke the silence. you looked towards the living room and took another sip from your glass. “i was proofreading… you?” you asked, looking back to him. “songwriting,” beomgyu responded. you hummed, nodding a little. “wanna hear what i have so far?” he then asked. you nodded more and he led you to his room.

beomgyu’s laptop was open on his bed, all kinds of cords connected to it. his guitar was strewn across it, like he had tossed it on his bed haphazardly in frustration. beomgyu picked the guitar up and sat it back on it’s stand near the wall. sitting on his bed, he patted the spot next to him so you could join. then, he put the headphones over your head and pressed play on his laptop.

music traveled through your ears. it was just the instrumental, but already you could tell how beautiful the song was gonna be. you looked over at him, a proud smile on your face when suddenly you heard his voice. it was only soft background vocals, the ones that you could barely make out, but it sounded heavenly. when the music ended, your smile stretched from ear to ear and you raised your hands to cover it. “that was beautiful, beomgyu! seriously!”

he gave you an unsure look, “is it? i’m not really sure about it. i feel like it might mess with the flow of the ep…” you shook your head rapidly, the headphones almost coming off. “no you have to keep it, it’s amazing! it’s gonna be even better once you add your voice.”

beomgyu beamed as he took in your words. “i gotta hear it again,” you grinned, pressing play on the laptop. you faintly heard beomgyu’s laugh behind the music.

you would give anything for all of your nights—or early mornings—to be exactly like this. the two of you here together, side by side. laughing together and sharing your passions together. to stay with beomgyu until the very end.

two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends.

just like you admitting and realizing your feelings for him, it was sudden. as sudden as storm clouds slowly passing over the sky and the fury of rain could be. it was late morning and the two of you were on your couch; beomgyu’s guitar in his lap and you sitting next to him as he strummed. he was playing one of the finished songs he had written, the one he had written for you. beomgyu had called it ‘graze.’

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” you sung the lyrics together. beomgyu smiled warmly at you.

beomgyu had given you some insight into the lyrics he had written. the first part, “her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss,” was about the day you had first spoken. it was senior year of highschool and the two of you were paired together on a project. you were meeting somewhere to work on it, but you accidentally walked past the meeting place, completely passing by beomgyu unaware.

the next part, “when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” is when the two of you had gotten close; close enough to share secrets and comfort each other through the thoughts they consumed. everytime the two of you texted, you would end the conversation off with an ‘xxx.’ kisses. it had become your thing with beomgyu, so much so that he wrote it into his song.

when the song had ended, beomgyu suddenly perked up. “let me show you the song i’ve been working on! the one i showed you the other day,” he exclaimed. he started strumming chords, humming softly as he began the song. “i only have, like, one lyric for it right now,” he interjected as he continued strumming.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind…” beomgyu sang to the tune of his guitar. your smile faltered, but you managed to put it back in tact as beomgyu glanced up from his guitar to ask for your opinion. it was a love song he was writing. a love song for someone that wasn’t you.

“it’s beautiful, like all of your songs are. i like the new addition! how long have you been working on it?” you smiled, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. beomgyu began to blush as he turned to set his guitar aside, moving his hair over his ears. the tips of them were red. “for a little bit now. i just can’t seem to find the words of the feelings i want to convey,” he replied.

your glass heart shattered, it’s pieces making its way into your bloodstream. piercing pieces dug into beomgyu’s skin. “who’s the lucky person?” you asked, swallowing hard. he turned back to you and smirked. “just someone i’ve known for a while... i think we’re really starting to hit it off!”

after that day, you started to distance yourself from beomgyu. at first, it was only your feelings. limiting the amount of times you touched in any way or adding space between your bodies when you were near each other. then, it was almost as if the two of you were strangers living in the same place.

beomgyu had definitely noticed. you could feel his lingering look at the back of your neck. hear his questions in the air that hangs between you. but your feelings just wouldn’t go away. maybe they were right when they said that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

you locked yourself in your room, working on and rewriting your book over and over again. trying—and failing horribly—to remove beomgyu from the caverns of it. nothing worked, but you were desperate.

one day, beomgyu was playing his guitar a little too loud while you were in your room writing. usually, this wouldn’t be a problem at all. beomgyu always made sure not to be too noisy when you were writing, even though you always told him how much it helped you to have the background music. but this time, this time was different.

you were frustrated, agitated, still deep in love, and still deep in the great unreciprocated. you had flung your door open and stormed into the living room where he was playing and yelled at him to stop.

beomgyu looked up at you with wide, shocked eyes. it was dead silent for a moment, not even the sound of your breathing was heard. too late you realized what you had done. silently, beomgyu collected his things and made his way to his room, not sparing you a single glance or even a murmur. you watched him, an apology, an excuse on your lips.

the next day after you came home from researching at the library, you found a single note from him that was left on the kitchen counter. “i can’t live here with a stranger anymore,” was all it said. finally, you noticed how empty the apartment looked. how empty it looked for a while now. beomgyu was gone, and it was all your fault.

today, you could barely walk the streets of your city without seeing his face or hearing his music.

“UP AND COMING!” the article’s title had read as they delved into an interview with your former best friend. you pushed the laptop away, even after these two years apart you couldn’t face him. not even through a screen. couldn’t face how you tore your friendship apart because you couldn’t control your own feelings. maybe love just wasn’t meant for you.

you heard a sigh from next to you. “just read it!” your friend, yeonjun, drawled. “you’re mentioned.” you let out a sigh yourself with a roll of your eyes as you grabbed the laptop. “if i’m mentioned, it’s not gonna be something good.”

you scrolled down the article until you got to the part where beomgyu got interviewed. most of the questions were about his debut album and upcoming tour. you haven’t listened to any of his songs since he released his ep. hearing his voice was just too much. your eyes stopped on a question that mentioned one of the songs from his debut ep; your song.

Q. one of your more, if not most, popular song is a song called ‘graze.’ can you give us some input into what the song is about? how you came up with it? BEOMGYU: i actually had written the song for someone who i was very close to at the time. originally, the song was about the dynamics of our friendship. but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics. speaking of the lyrics, when i wrote the song i had come up with them first and the rest just kinda flowed after that. it was the first song that i had finished for my ep, and the one i was most proud of. i’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy the song!

you inhaled sharply at his answer. “but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics.” you weren’t expecting him to hold fondness for you after everything, after all this time, but his response did sting.

Q. you mentioned how the meaning of the song lyrics changed, does that tie into the title of the song? was ‘graze’ a double meaning this whole time? BEOMGYU: i guess you could say that! there wasn’t a double meaning at the beginning, but alas… to graze means to be scraped lightly in passing, to break the surface of the skin. but it also means to touch, to caress. to slightly damage or to gently touch.

Q. it also means to take in small quantities at frequent, did you know that? BEOMGYU: i didn’t! see how meanings can change!

blinking the tears brimming in the corner of your eyes away, you look back over to yeonjun. he looked at you with eyebrows raised and you shrugged at him. what did he want you to say? that you missed him? you did. that you wish things were different between the two of you? you do. what is that going to change?

“he mentioned the song he wrote! for you!” yeonjun exclaimed. you shrugged again, “he mentioned the song he wrote for someone he used to be close with. like he said, things change.” yeonjun groaned as he fell into the pillows on your bed.

shortly after beomgyu had moved out, you moved into a smaller, one bedroom apartment. it was eating away at you inside looking at how empty and lifeless your apartment you had shared with beomgyu looked. you couldn’t take how everywhere you looked, a memory of the two of you followed.

“he’s having a show at the arena downtown. we’re going,” yeonjun stated. your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head. “no… no i can’t.” two years and you crossed the street if there was a poster of him up next to the sidewalk. two years and you went everywhere with headphones, music blasting in your ears to cover his playing softly throughout the city. you couldn’t see him face to face. couldn’t watch as his smile faltered and his eyes lost their emotion as he looked at you.

yeonjun reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets, “it’s too late, i already got the tickets. i can’t watch anymore as the two of you avoid each other. it’s been two years and not once have i seen the both of you in the same room let alone on the same block.” you put your face into your hands as you leaned over onto the bed, groaning loudly.

somehow you forgot that beomgyu and yeonjun were also friends. close friends at that. the two of them were friends before you and beomgyu were. you wanted to curse at the sky. “and don’t even try to find some way out of it either. i will drag you there kicking and screaming if i have to.” yeonjun added.

“but i have to finish writing my bo—“ you started before yeonjun swiftly cut you off. “it’s this weekend, so you have the whole week to prepare yourself.”

when you were alone that night in the comforting isolation of your bedroom, you let yourself scroll through your old messages with beomgyu. let your eyes wander over the ‘xxx’ at the end of your messages. you fingers moved on their own as they began typing out a message.

old apologies, old excuses. you had the nerve to add ‘xxx’ at the end like the two of you were still who you once used to be. you deleted the kisses at the end, deleted the message altogether. it’s not that you would ever send it anyways.

you thought about how your life would be if you and beomgyu weren’t strangers now. if you were more than best friends, getting to know each other again. you imagined late nights of you taking him out to bars in celebration of his new releases. pressing proud kisses to his lips as the alcohol and your love warmed the both of your bodies. shaking your head to yourself, you pushed the thoughts away. no use in daydreaming.

the damning beat of your heart got louder and louder the closer you and yeonjun got to the arena. the closer and closer you got to beomgyu. at the rate your heart was going, the sheer loudness would create a guilty beat for everyone to sing along to.

you handed in your tickets and made your way to the floor. when you read the tickets and saw that they were for the floor, you almost killed yeonjun. you thought you could be sly and sit somewhere in the seats, somewhere where beomgyu wouldn’t have a high possibility of seeing you. you were wrong.

yeonjun grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to the stage. when he tried to pull you right up against the barricade, you pulled away from him and he sighed. the two of you settled close to the stage, but not so close that you’d be touching noses with beomgyu. a compromise.

the lights had dimmed and the crowd had filed in until it was jam packed in the arena. your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride. he did it, he really did. he achieved the one thing he wanted the most, and you couldn’t be prouder of him for it.

the band came on stage and the crowd erupted with cheers and screams from all around you. you looked over to yeonjun, who was cheering along with them. you laughed, the sound being covered, but still there nonetheless. everything only got louder when beomgyu stepped onto the stage. you swear the girl next to you almost passed out.

when you saw him, the spotlight illuminating him—making him look like all of the stars in the sky, it was as if it was only the two of you in the room. the crowd of people around you faded and your breath hitched when he started to look over the crowd with a big warm smile. your face heated and you looked away, hiding so he wouldn’t see you. it’s been a while since you’ve done that.

what were you doing here? what was yeonjun thinking? that he would see you in the crowd and everything would fall into place? that he would call your name and the crowd would part as you made your way to the stage? that he’d take your hand and kiss you in front of everyone, in front of the whole world to see? what a stupid thought.

you wanted to leave but you were trapped from all sides. beomgyu sat on the chair that was placed in the center of the stage, his one and only guitar on his knee that you’ve become so accustomed to. “how is everyone doing tonight? well, i hope!” he said, strumming the strings of his guitar lightly. the crowd erupted again, words barely audible.

shaking your head, you grabbed yeonjun’s arm. “i can't do this, yeonjun. i want to go home.” he turned to you with furrowed eyebrows of worry. the girl next to you gave you an ear to ear smile, “i know right? isn’t he just so dreamy!” in turn, you gave her a barely disguised grimace and turned back to yeonjun. yeonjun laughed at your reaction, “get over it! let him sing to you! we’re staying.” he turned back to the stage and you realized that beomgyu had already began playing a song.

not just any song, the song that he wrote for you. he was singing ‘graze.’ yeonjun smirked at you and you’ve realized you’ve fallen into his trap. vaguely, you remembered that beomgyu always started out his shows with the song he had written for you. you wanted to use his guitar to bash your head in.

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” beomgyu sang softly to the tune of his guitar. the live band behind him made the song more layered, in a way you haven’t heard since you’ve first heard the finished song.

“under newborn stars, we bear witness, we watched it all begin. i feel the heat of mars, my worn guitar, like her fingers against my skin,” beomgyu continued the song, the crowd singing along with him. you felt glassy tears in your eyes, threatening to fall. you couldn’t open your mouth to sing, not after all of the circumstances, so your heart sang for you. it was quiet, left only for the empty cathedrals of your ribs to echo back to you.

once he stopped singing, the music continued for a moment, letting everyone take in the song. beomgyu closed his eyes against the bright lights, his hands resting on the edge of his guitar. just as the song ended he opened them, an emotion you couldn’t quite make out in his eyes.

“now, for this next one, it took me a long time to write. two years in fact,” beomgyu spoke as he looked around at the crowd, a slight laugh in his tone. his eyes had just missed yours on his journey and you reeled back slightly in shock, looking up at him with wide eyes. “i just couldn’t seem to find the words to the feelings i wanted to convey. but luckily for you all, i managed to find them,” beomgyu smiled as he adjusted his guitar. “this one’s called ‘tattoos on strangers.’”

those words sounded strangely familiar. out of the corner of your eye, you saw yeonjun look over at you as the crowd cheered. you couldn’t even move to look back at him, to ask why he was staring. you were entirely focused on beomgyu. on the way he looked around the crowd with twinkling love in his eyes. the way he fiddled with his guitar like he was antsy to let the music flow out of him. it entranced you, dazzled you, entrapped you.

beomgyu inhaled sharply, the sound catching in the mic in front of him, as he strummed the chords of one of his songs you’ve never heard before. “we’re two moths to a burning flame; they call us icarus. now all that’s left between our bodies is the sinking bitterness. our eyes are on the sky, the lies we tell each other are to blame.” you gasped at how heavenly he sounded. at the melodic symphonies he was creating. at how familiar yet so unfamiliar the song sounded to you.

there was a beat as the live band picked up volume. “we’re waltzing together, we’ve gone too far. but we can’t help ourselves, we’re sinful, we’re brand new burning stars. gravity is starting to pull us closer and closer, you say it’s starting to lead to our demise. but don’t worry, baby, our silence—the heaviness between us, will be the disguise,” beomgyu continued. his eyes were squeezed shut as he sang. it made you wonder who he intended the song to be for if he was reacting this way.

“there’s no need to apologize, we’ve witnessed this before, i know your true name. like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain. too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind. don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time,” beomgyu sang as the song came to an end. suddenly it was as if a light switch lit up the dark room in your brain, a certain lyric ringing bells inside.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind,” you understood why the song sounded familiar to you. it was the song beomgyu was working on right before the two of you stopped being bestfriends. another thought hit you so hard that you stumbled back into the person behind you and yeonjun gave you another worried look. you stared back at him, eyes wide open.

two lyrics stood out to you, “like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain,” and “don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time.” you turned to look back up at beomgyu, just as he started singing another song. his eyes were traveling the crowd and at that moment, his eyes connected with yours. they widened and he started to blink rapidly for a second, like he couldn’t believe that you were looking at him.

at the same time, both of your eyes traveled to yeonjun, who in turn gave a sheepish smile. he set the two of you up. desperately you wanted to leave, but yeonjun’s hand around your wrist and the crowd wouldn’t let you.

‘graze’, you knew for a fact was for you, but ‘tattoos on strangers’? there was no denying that he wrote the song about you, down to the referencing lyrics. down to the “don’t delete the kisses at the end.” oh god, you thought, oh god. this whole time… this whole time, he was singing about you. he was singing about you when you thought he was singing about someone else and you ruined it. you ruined everything.

suddenly, it was getting hard to breathe with everyone around you and with beomgyu’s eyes on you. he tried hard to make it look like he wasn’t singling you out, but every couple seconds his eyes would lock on you again. you had no choice but to sit and endure. endure his stare, the slight wildness in his look. endure all the songs from his debut album that you never heard; all of which were about you. all of them. endure the way his heart called out to yours, echoing through his songs, and the way yours called back.

your eyes connect once more—just for the briefest of moments—before you looked away, shyness taking over. your face—no, your whole body—felt like it was on fire. just like a brand new burning star. you felt like all eyes were on you, when in reality all eyes were on him.

finally, you looked up again as he announced the last song in the setlist—‘forethought.’ your eyes meet just as he sings, his eyes only on you, “oh, i hear her voice in the wind sometimes. has she given me any thought? i go back to the pastimes—like wind chimes, it’s not all for naught. my wet knees in the winter, it’s my hopeful crime, it’s my savior... it’s my desperate prayer, i scream out her name into the dying nature—it leads me out the maze so i’m with her. it’s a stranded forethought.” you feel tears well up into your eyes and you see tears well up in beomgyu’s too, hidden by the bright lights to the crowd, but not to you. never to you.

after a moment, he repeats with eyes closed in a silent plea, “don’t linger, don’t linger, light bringer, don’t linger. stay with me—send me your remembrances. please, don’t delete those kisses. don’t linger, light bringer. don’t linger.” the tears fall freely from your eyes at the way his voice softly echoes. echoes just like wind chimes in the blowing wind. you feel yeonjun pull you into a hug as a sob escapes your lips.

you don’t register the concert ending, the crowd getting smaller and smaller until there’s only a few stragglers. you move numbly as yeonjun pulls you along behind him. it’s not until you hear a familiar voice, beomgyu’s voice, that you suddenly come back to life.

yeonjun has taken you backstage. the two of you were making your way over to where beomgyu was standing, talking to someone you didn’t recognize, as he packed up his guitar. again, your eyes met, and you pulled your wrist from yeonjun’s grasp. you turned, wild eyes scanning for an exit as your feet moved without needing your input. “y/n, wait!” you heard voices from behind you. you kept going, the fear pushing you forwards faster.

it wasn’t until you were in front of the night bus, voices behind you as you pushed whatever money you had into the bus driver's hands, that you finally felt like you could breathe. the doors closed and the bus began moving as beomgyu and yeonjun ran up waving frantically. the bus kept moving. you looked through the window, terrified wide eyes reflecting back to you in the glass, at their fading figures. at beomgyu’s dejected eyes and yeonjun’s sorrowful ones. at the breaking of your heart, once again.

sighing heavily to yourself, you faced the front of the bus. what has gotten into you? why would you let yourself think that beomgyu would wait for you after these two long years? it was clear to you that what happened at that concert was a goodbye. and maybe you were okay with that. maybe you didn’t mind. you wiped the tears from your cheeks. it’s okay, you’ve always worked better on your own anyways. without the constant tingling of growing feelings, without the heavy stares that hold so much, without the newborn stars—without beomgyu.

when you get home, you waste no time with the alcohol you have. turning your phone off, locking all your doors and shutting all the curtains. you lay on your bed, drunk out of your mind looking up at the ceiling as you think, what if love’s not meant for me?

five days ago, you went to your ex-bestfriend’s concert and listened as he poured his heart out onto the stage for you; while you ran away from him like the echo of a wind chime in the wind.

beomgyu has taken over your mind. has soared through the mountains of your thoughts and settled gently in the valleys of your desires. lingered in the lakes and puddles and the big vast ocean of your memories. all you’ve been thinking about since the concert was him. he’s completely consumed you.

you had scrolled up and down your messages together, laughing at old jokes and shedding tears at old memories. retelling the jokes he made to yourself and pretending that they were yours to begin with as a permanent smile etched itself onto your features.

maybe this all was a sign. a sign that you should stop hiding in the four walls of your bedroom. a sign that you should find some way to contact beomgyu, rekindle the friendship you once used to have and maybe fan the flames of something greater. you wanted to scream from the rooftops about how much you loved beomgyu. tell the whole world about how he makes you feel and every little thing he does that just fills you with so much warmth.

you were scrolling through the photo album you still had of the two of you. at your silly faces and candid moments. you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face if you wanted to. you felt like a teenage girl, giggling softly as she wrote her crushes name in hearts all over her notebooks. wide smile as she wrote in her diary about how much her crush rocked her world. you didn’t care, you couldn’t help it. beomgyu did—he really did—make you feel this way. he’s turned your whole world upside down.

electricity flowed through you until you were so antsy and electric that you just had to do something before it drove you insane. you needed to tell beomgyu, to let whatever was between the two of you happen. needed to have him around you again after these two long years, even if just briefly. god, you felt like such a romantic cliché, but you felt alive.

opening your phone, you finally replied to all of the messages that yeonjun had sent you. they spanned from worried to disappointed to a resigned sadness. you only sent him one message in response:

you: is he still here?

you held your breath, mentally smacking yourself for not looking up beomgyu’s tour dates beforehand. mentally smacking yourself for not garnering the courage earlier. how stupid you were. your phone dinged from yeonjun’s reply:

jjunie: party tonight at 11:30pm. i’ll pick you up around 11. be ready.

breathing out a sigh of relief you looked at the clock. it was already 10pm. you raided your closet for your best looking outfit, throwing it on as you ran to your bathroom to put makeup on. you wanted to look your absolute best.

11pm couldn’t come fast enough. you were waiting by the door when yeonjun had knocked, him barely getting his second knock in before you flung the door wide open. “is it too late?” you asked him desperately, standing limply in the doorframe. yeonjun just chuckled at you and grabbed your wrist, leading you to his car, “never. not for the two of you.”

on the way over, yeonjun told you how the party was thrown by some big celebrity you never heard of and how beomgyu got the two of you invites. it was for such a good start on his sold out tour and debut album. “like, everyone is gonna be there,” yeonjun said to you as he drove around to find a parking space.

once you found somewhere to park, you and yeonjun made your way to the venue where the party was being held. you passed through all kinds of security until you were faced with blasting music in your ears and bodies dancing everywhere. holding tightly onto yeonjun to not get lost, the two of you scanned the crowd.

“do you want to get a drink?” yeonjun yelled over the music to you. you nodded and he led you through the crowd to where the bar was. the two of you got something and drank them silently by the bar. you felt bad for keeping yeonjun tied to you, so you yelled over the music to him, “you can go and mingle! i’ll be fine over here by myself!” he leaned towards you, furrowing his brows. “are you sure?” he asked and you nodded.

yeonjun made his way through the crowd, turning his charm on as he talked to various people. you stayed at the bar, sipping on various drinks until you felt very tipsy. your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for beomgyu, every minute or so.

that’s when you saw him. he was across the room, holding a glass of something and talking to a group of people, when his eyes drifted and just happened to meet yours. beomgyu rendered you completely speechless. you got a good look at him, not being able to do so that well from his place on the stage, and took in how much he’s changed in the past two years.

beomgyu’s short brown hair was now dark, tinged blue in the low scattered overhead lights. the back of it touched the nape of his neck and the front fell over his eyes and ears. he looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than you remember him being. his eyes widened at seeing you, making the natural liner of his eyes stand out.

suddenly, just like at the concert, it felt like it was only the two of you in the room. his eyes widened at seeing you again, his mouth opening slightly. without knowing it, the two of you gravitated towards each other. then you were face to face, standing in front of each other in the flesh. you couldn’t believe it.

you both said each other’s names at the same time, letting out a nervous laugh after. he motioned for you to continue and you swallowed hard. you were thankful that you were tipsy, that the alcohol was smoothing your nerves, because you definitely wouldn’t be standing in front of beomgyu right now if you weren’t.

“beomie…” you trailed before correcting yourself, you didn’t want to pretend to know him like you use to after two years. “beomgyu… there’s no excuse. no apology even sincere enough—“ beomgyu had cut you off, “y/nie, you don’t have to apologize.”

you shook your head. you knew that you didn’t, that he had already forgiven you and moved past it. hell, he wrote a song about it. but you had to. you had to apologize in at least some way. “no, i do,” you stated. “i shouldn’t have let us drift away, shouldn’t have let us become strangers. i shouldn’t have pushed you away. you were my bestfriend and i was scared. i like you so much, so much that you enveloped me completely. my mind, my book, my life… everything.”

you inhaled deeply, looking longingly into beomgyu’s eyes like you had wanted to do now for so long. “all i thought about was you. all i think about is you. and i miss you. i missed you so much, beomgyu. i love you. i’ve always loved you—“ beomgyu sat his glass on the nearby table as you spoke, then cupped your face gently with both of his hands and collided his lips to yours in a passionate kiss to cut you off. it told you everything he was feeling, everything he’s felt for you for who knows how long now. you felt his song lyrics on your lips. felt how every last lyric was written for you, every melody. every atom of your being colliding with every atom of his and creating a beautiful newborn star.

when he pulled away, he pulled you into a desperate and tight hug. he held you so tight it was as if he thought you were a bird that would fly away. you couldn’t blame him, you kind of were. “i don’t think i need to tell you how much i love you, but i will. i’ll sing it in your ear softly and scream it at the top of my lungs for all the stars to witness, y/n. i love you,” beomgyu murmured into the crook of your neck.

you took his hand and led him out the venue. when you suddenly remembered that yeonjun took you here, beomgyu chuckled as he took you to his car. in the warm glow of your city at night, you pointed to various street signs and turns as beomgyu drove to your apartment.

inside your apartment, the two of you couldn’t keep your mouths off each other. the wanting—the need—lifting you up to cloud nine and making you dizzy. when you both somehow got to your bedroom, you were breathless and hot to the touch.

beomgyu had pulled away from you. “is this okay?” he asked, looking into your eyes. you saw the desire inside of them. you nodded, “yes, just please don’t stop kissing me.” and he obliged, his lips on yours again.

one by one, articles of clothing came off. there was brief awkwardness, the hem of your dress getting caught on the earrings you were wearing and the button of his pants refusing to come undone. it all was alright in the end when the two of you were laying on your bed, you only in your bra and panties and him only in his boxers, his huge bulge pressing into your thigh as he hovered above you.

you were growing needy, the alcohol edging you onwards. “beomgyu… i need you inside me,” you whimpered against his mouth as his hard boner rubbed against you. he hummed, lips moving to your neck, causing you to moan. “i need you to fuck me…” you breathed out. beomgyu pulled away with the slightest upturn of his lips.

he sat you up so that you were now straddling his lap as he reached behind you and unclasped your bra. “next time…” beomgyu murmured. “next time i’ll fuck you. but not tonight. tonight… we stop being strangers.” you shivered slightly at your already hardened nipples being exposed to the cool air. shivering more when beomgyu’s wet tongue circled them.

“is that okay?” beomgyu asked, staring into your eyes as he waited for your response. you nodded, unintentionally grinding against him, and moaned out, “yes.” his fingers had gripped your bare waist at the contact and his eyes shut tightly for a brief moment. “next time… i promise you. let me get to know your body again.”

and get to know your body, he did. beomgyu laid you back down gently and then pulled off your panties slowly while staring down at you, eyes caressing every inch of you. you felt yourself getting wetter by the second, gripping the blankets to keep yourself from pulling him to you.

beomgyu pressed his lips to yours once more as he spread your legs apart. he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin as he moved farther and farther down your body, looking up at you the entire time. you jolted slightly when he pressed kisses to the inside of your thighs. “you’re so breathtaking, even more than before,” beomgyu spoke, trailing kisses up to your knee. he paused for a second, “i missed you so much, y/n.”

his tongue then swirled around your clit and your back arched off the bed, your hands finding their way into his pretty hair. beomgyu groaned, pulling away from your core with a wet mouth, as you pulled at it. just as quickly, he was back at it, making you moan for him as he devoured you. you creating pretty harmonies for him.

“fuck…” beomgyu said lowly. you could see how hard his cock was in his boxers and it made you need him even more. he then pushed two fingers into you, them slipping in easily with how wet you were for him. beomgyu pulled you up from the bed as he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, tipping your head back and capturing your lips in a sweet and slow kiss. your tongues danced together, waltz together as you clenched around his fingers.

pulling away, you buried your face in his neck as you whimpered his name. “cum for me, baby,” beomgyu said in your ear softly. you didn’t need to be told twice, your warm release spreading all over his fingers.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, “i-i need you, please… your—your fingers aren’t e-enough.” beomgyu chuckled as he nodded. you released your hold on him so he could take off his boxes, his long and hard cock on full display for you. you used to dream of moments like these.

beomgyu looked at you, asking silently if you were ready. in response, you shakily got to your knees. he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly, you slid down onto him. the both of you gasped at the feeling, moans joining together in a beautiful song as you moved up and down on his cock.

you were giving each other sloppy and needy kisses, beomgyu wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer as he thrusted up into your pussy. you gasped against his lips, your hands laying to rest against his chest. he whimpered as he continued thrusting, “you feel so—so good. so good, baby. do you f-feel good?”

“y—oh… it feels s-so good,” you managed out. you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten with each thrust he pushed into you. with the feeling of his veiny shaft inside you, sending electric currents throughout your body. the feeling of his lips on yours. moaning, you pulled away and rested your forehead on beomgyu’s. “i’m gonna c-cum again, gyu.”

he moved you so your back was against the bed again, your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock still deep inside you. groaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. “let me help you, baby. l-let me do the work,” beomgyu mumbled before you kissed him.

in passionate thrusts, you came around him again and a few seconds later you felt his warm cum pour inside of you. his hips jerked against yours and he let out a whine as he rolled into you, not planning on slowing down. “b-beomgyu…” you whimpered, gripping him tighter and throwing your head back so you were staring hazily at the ceiling. you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“l-look at me, my pretty baby, i n-need to see your face,” beomgyu said between hard pants. between the sounds of your skin slapping together and the wet sounds of him entering and exiting you repeatedly. you looked at him through knitted brows, your fingers in his hair and pulling his head back. “f-fuck… god, you d-don’t know what you d-do to me,” he murmured, eyes shutting for a moment. you pulled him down to kiss his jaw. “feels… feels so…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you clenched around him again.

beomgyu was twitching inside you more and more and you could tell he was overstimulating himself just to make you feel good. his words of praise were being slurred as he stared deeply into your eyes, breathing erratically.

when the two had came together, you couldn’t take anymore. your legs were shaking badly and your back was beginning to ache from how much you kept arching it. pushing beomgyu away until he was hovering above you, you barely managed to whimper out in a whisper, “c-can’t take it a-anymore, beomie…”

at your words he slipped out of you slowly, groaning loudly as you clenched tightly around his poor cock the whole way out. “y/n…” beomgyu moaned. he hovered above you for a moment, forehead pressed to yours and arms trembling, before falling down next to you. beomgyu pulled you towards him until you were wrapped in his body. you tried not to think about how his still half hard cock was up against your sensitive pussy. his breath fanning your skin and sending a shiver up your spine.

the two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, coming down from your highs and breathing the same air. beomgyu had been trailing lines down your torso with the tips of his fingers, leaving goosebumps in his wake. you could feel his smile against your cheek at the way your body reacted to his touch.

when you both were strong enough to get up, he cleaned the cum from between your legs and his with a warm and wet towel and then guided you to the bathroom. beomgyu drew a bubble bath for the both of you, helping you inside of it when your legs began to shake and your knees almost gave out.

now you laid back against his chest inside the bathtub, one of his hands trailing up and down your arm with a washcloth and the other wrapped tightly against your lower stomach. “you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this…” beomgyu trailed off softly. you turned slightly so you could look up at him. “you don’t know how long i wanted this either. how long i wanted to be with you in general.”

beomgyu smiled warmly down at you, that same warm smile he would give you every time you sang together. “how long?” he asked, playfulness slipping into his tone. “for as long as i can remember,” you giggled. “for as long as i’ve known you.” he pressed a kiss to your temple, the action sending ripples to your heart. “i’ve wanted it for longer,” he replied, laughing when you playfully scoffed up at him. “this isn’t our first life together.”

that sentiment made you turn in the tub to face him fully, your eyebrows knitting together and your eyes full of fondness. it almost brought tears to your eyes. “beomgyu…” you murmured as you cupped his face softly and brought your lips to his. you kissed him slowly, trying to show him how much you loved him through it. your actions and words alone will never be able to fully express how you feel for him.

after the two of you cleaned up more in the bath, you laid side by side in your bed. thankfully, you still had some of beomgyu’s clothes that you just couldn’t get rid of from when you still lived together and you would steal them. you were in one of beomgyu’s old shirts now, body up against his in the darkness of your bedroom.

“i’m gonna miss you when you leave to go back on tour. i don’t want you to leave,” you whispered softly into the darkness. you weren’t very good at expressing your fears out loud, clearly. but you had to let him know. had to let him know that you didn’t want this to be just a one time thing and you never see each other again. “so come with me,” beomgyu replied at your same tone, simply. “come with me and we won’t have to miss each other.”

you couldn’t help but think of the lyrics of the song he wrote for you, the one the two of you would sing together. “over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss.” he was right about ‘graze’ having a whole new meaning in his interview. first, it meant the longing between the two of you. always dancing around each other, fingertips always seeming to just brush up against the other’s but never fully grasping. then, it meant the two of you drifting apart. missing the opportunity to admit your feelings and be together. and lastly, right now. right in this moment, the two of you together again after two long years. missing each other until your heart aches even though you’re right next to each other. it is funny how meanings change.

“okay,” you giggled softly. “i’ll come with you.” you weren’t going to linger. he was right, this wasn’t your first life together, you could feel it. you were gonna stay with him forever. beomgyu pulled you closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

last night, your world was turned back on it’s rightful axis as you and your bestfriend beomgyu—your lover beomgyu, sealed the two of your souls together.

that morning you both had woken up to a ton of missed calls and a plethora of text messages. you both stared at each other with wide eyes after realizing that the two of you had basically silently walked out of the celebration that was held for beomgyu. yeonjun scolding the two of you when he realized that not only was beomgyu not at his own party, but that you weren’t there either.

quick kisses and giggles were shared as beomgyu raced to get ready for the schedule he had to do today. “text me, okay? i want to hear from you. i’ll let you know when we’re leaving for the next stop, so get your bags ready,” beomgyu said, throwing his coat on and pressing another kiss to your lips, deepening the kiss for just a moment before he pulled away.

you were standing by the door, a lovesick smile on your face, “i will!” you giggled as he stalled more and pulled you into a hug. “and don’t delete the kisses,” he whispered, kissing your cheek before finally making his way through the door. you waved goodbye to him and shut the door, immediately pulling out your phone.

you: i’ll see you later today. good luck on your interview! xxx

there was an immediate response from him and you giggled as you read it and responded.

beomie: thank you, baby! i love you!! you: i love you more!! xxx beomie: i love you more than there are stars in the sky!!! you: and i love you more than there are galaxies in our universe!!!! xxx beomie: okay… you win… but only because i can’t think of anything better!!!

laughing, you went to your room and started packing the things you needed for beomgyu’s tour.

two years ago—four since the beginning—you left the kisses at the end of your messages to your boyfriend beomgyu.

you were backstage just before one of his shows with him and yeonjun. beomgyu’s arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his side. your mouth was currently hung open in shock at yeonjun’s revealing news.

“i’m sorry, y/nie, but i just had to tell him. two years i had to listen to the both of you cry over each other—two years! i couldn’t do it anymore. i had to tell him about the things you were saying!” yeonjun sighed dramatically as if he were so defeated. you pushed his shoulder lightly, “you ass! then you had the nerve to set the two of us up at beomgyu’s concert with the tickets he gave you!”

beomgyu let out a laugh from next to you, laughing louder when you turned a playful glare to him. “if i didn’t…” yeonjun trailed as he spoke to you with raised eyebrows, “you two wouldn’t be together right now. now would you?” you rolled your eyes at him, wrapping your arms around beomgyu and laying your head on his chest.

“i’d like to think we would find our way back together,” beomgyu spoke, looking down at you. you smiled up at him in return. “uh huh…” said yeonjun, causing the three of you to erupt into laughter.

since beomgyu’s debut album and tour to go along with it, he’s released two more albums. all of the songs about you, once again. in every interview he had, he gushed about you to whoever would listen. you’ve also finally published your book, deciding to let beomgyu’s essence flow through the entirety of it. you couldn’t remove him even if you tried. and trust, you had tried.

one of the staff members gave a signal to beomgyu and he nodded back and gave a thumbs up. it was almost time for him to be on stage. for the first time ever, you were singing ‘graze’ and ‘forethought’ together with their whole new meanings.

you stared at beomgyu’s stunning side profile as he peeked out to the crowd. you almost laughed at yourself, at your past thoughts. of course love was meant for you. of course you and beomgyu were meant to be together, meant to be in love. meant to share each of your lifetimes and universes and supernovas and nebulas and brand new brightly burning newborn stars together.

of course the two of you were meant to love each other forever, how could you ever think differently?

permanent taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047 @riaawr

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beombeomlovesme · 1 year

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Guys PLEASE support this masterpiece

first times.

taehyun x f!reader; best friends to lovers; sfw (some suggestiveness if you squint); some angst, lots of cheesy fluff; word count ~5.75k

yn-hyuns love journey with their many first times :: fic inspired by the song first times by ed sheeran

pictures not mine - for you friend @imaginidol

ain't it funny how the simplest things in life can make a man?

little moments that pass us by

oh, but i remember..

the first kiss..

“this isn't fair! you promised you wouldn't tickle me like this!” you tried to breathe through your laughs. despite you having some difficult breathing, you weren’t dead yet, so taehyun continued.

you both are currently on the floor in his room, him on top of you, tickling you endlessly because he knows that's one of your ultimate weaknesses. you both were playing card games that you had suggested for game night. but when he asked you about your day and you happened to slip out that you ate his leftovers from the night before, the game was long forgotten.

to be fair, he had cooked the food for you, so he understands why you would eat the leftovers while waiting for him to come to the dorms from practice, but unfortunately he was looking forward to eating that food.

you laugh even more as his tickling increases in intensity and you try to get out of his grasp. “terrence! leave me alone! i can barely breathe!”

he giggles at the nickname you have given him and he lets you take a breather. “only because i love you so much ill stop tickling you.”

love. your cheeks get hot from that word, but you of course know he means it platonically.

“fuck you, taehyun,” you finally catch your breath, noticing how he hasnt moved his hands from your skin. instead of his fingers gliding across your waist, they were now settled against it gently. “we've known each other for long enough for you to know much i hate being tickled.”

“i know,” he smiles at you, moving closer to you. the butterflies in his tummy telling him that maybe this is the chance to finally confess his feelings for you.

he’s known you for about 4 years, and considers you to be his best friend. it's honestly kind of sad (and he knows this) how most of that time has been secretly admiring you from afar as your friend. he’s always been way too shy to admit his feelings for you to himself, let alone to you.

you have been there for him since even before his debut in tomorrow x together, and he has been there for you during your highs and lows as well. safe to say, you did have feelings for him too. you found it hard to not fall for him, despite the many times you forced those feelings down. but because you didn't want to ruin the beautiful friendship you both currently have, you stayed quiet about them.

you notice how his demeanor in the current moment changes, how his eyes begin to sparkle in the light and how his smile forms into a small smirk. you look into his eyes and notice how deeply he staring at you. “then why..” you start, but you get too flustered with the way he's looking at you.

his eyes are one of his features that you find extremely endearing and you could honestly just stare at him staring at something he admires. you probably could see the world in his eyes with how much curiosity and knowledge they must hold, but in the current moment, you can't find yourself to stare back into his eyes, so instead you blush and turn your head to the side, trying to avoid his gaze.

“why were you t-tickling me if you know i hate i-it?” you nervously stutter out.

he shrugs and grips your waist gently, moving his face closer to yours and placing his forehead against yours. “i honestly dont know.. i just like hearing you laugh” he whispers softly, nudging his nose against yours. this burst of confidence in taehyun was surprising the both of you a lot.

and honestly, by this point, you're blushing so hard you are sure you are as red as a tomato.

“taehyun.. what are you.. what are you doing?” you whisper out a question, but you really hope and pray to whatever higher being that he wouldn't pull away.

he brushes his nose against yours again, a slight tint of pink flushing his cheeks. despite how forward he was being, he was still so nervous about any sort of rejection from you. especially if what he was doing made you uncomfortable in any way.

you smile softly, butterflies erupting in your tummy at his actions. then, a sudden burst of confidence on your end. you place one of your hands on his cheek gently and you caress his cheek bone with your thumb.

he beams in the inside, realizing that there was some hope of you actually liking him back. this causes him to start glancing at your lips.

“yn..” he whispers and looks into your eyes for permission to get closer to you.

“kiss me tyun.. please,” you blush at your sudden need for the intimacy, but it brings him joy, giving him the permission he was asking for.

he leans in, brushing his lips against yours ever so slightly. he swears he hears fireworks in the distance at that slight touch.

he stays there for a few seconds, letting it sink in that hes finally going to kiss his best friend that hes been in love with for years.

he brings your waist closer to his and finally kisses you.

the first night..

your first night was amazing. although both of you having prior experience, you still found it hard to open up to each other in such an intimate way.

both of you were very insecure about yourselves. you both even attend the gym together and help each other when on a diet. neither of you force each other onto this lifestyle but support one another when trying to live as healthily as you can.

that’s why when your first night happened, you were on cloud nine. not only did you realize how much you loved and trusted taehyun, you realized how much he loved and trusted you.

that was what made the night so special to you.

he lays next to you, giggling really happily. “wow..” he murmurs, helping the both of you get under the covers. specifically for you since it can get quite cold in your apartment and he didn’t want to ruin how perfect the night already was.

you giggle softly and turn to him, pecking his lips. “wow.. what?”

“wow you,” he reaches over to pull you closely, nuzzling into your hair gently.

“you're amazing, you're beautiful.. you're literally the embodiment of aphrodite. how'd i get so lucky?”

the heat from your cheeks rises and you rub his bicep gently.

if you could describe taehyun's love languages they would be private physical affection and words of affirmation. both of which you loved to give and receive.

“you're so cheesy, if only i could show how romantic you truly are to the world. maybe then would they stop hating on your precious soul.”

“no!” he pulls back from you. he frowns, not wanting to bring up something so serious that might ruin the night. he wants it to be perfect for you. for the both of you to remember forever.

“never.. please? i reserve this side of myself for you. and for you only. i don't care what other people say about me. as long as i get to be myself around you, that's all i care about. so no sharing me..” he whines softly.

this was true. every single one of his fans knew that behind his “cold” persona, was a loving and caring person. however what they didn't know was how clingy he was, specifically towards you.

it made you so happy that he was like that with you, and with you only. even while you both were friends, he’s always given you some sort of special treatment. it’s no wonder all four of his members knew he loved you as soon as first saw him with you.

you laugh softly at his cuteness and how he went back to holding you closer to him. you cup his cheek gently and kiss his lips as lovingly as you could.

“as if i'd share you with the world.”

the first song that made you cry..

taehyun really enjoyed bringing you over to the hybe building. usually you would sit down for a dance practice and just watch as he happily dances his heart out for you. soobin swears hes never so active during dance practices, but when you are there, it's like you make practice just a smidge bit better for him.

this time, though, he asks you to join in for a recording session the morning of. something different than usual. it's nothing bad, of course, but why all of a sudden? either way, you are happy to support taehyun in his dreams so you agree to come.

oh, if only you had known how bad he would make you cry when he tells you he made a song specifically for you to listen to while he was away for the world tour.

“baby stop crying,” he chuckles and wipes your eyes for you. “you're not even 10 seconds into the song! i haven't even started singing yet.”

you hiccup, pausing the song and reach for his hands that are on your face.

“i c-can't help it.. you made a song for me. for us!”

he pouts gently and kisses your tears away. “people make songs for their partners all the time what do you mean?”

“taehyun! n-no they don't!” you cry out and hug him closer to you. you did only hear 10 seconds of the song, but quite honestly, there isn't anything taehyun could do that would not make you feel like you're the most loved in the world. “only cheesy and corny people make songs for their partners. and you know how much of a cheesy romantic i am. this is perfect! y-you're perfect. i like you so much baby.”

he smiles happily at your words. “i like you a lot too,” he starts, kissing your forehead gently. “but what if i told you this song wasn't the only one?”

you look at him and he laughs at your little shocked face that is on the verge of even more tears. it reminds him of that pikachu meme you have sent him countless of times.

“you're in for a long night yn~”

the first look in your eyes when i said, "i love you"

you sigh, taking off your makeup in front of your mirror. this was the third time it wasn't looking nice on your skin. you couldn't tell if it was your makeup or your face, but either way it wasn't working out.

you start to tear up. you were meant to be ready 15 minutes ago for your dinner out with taehyun but your face decided to be annoying as hell.

unbeknowst to you, your phone has been going off for about 30 minutes in the other room. your boyfriend has been waiting near your apartment in his car, ready to pick you up. he eventually gave up and started to actually head to your apartment in order to check up on you, as he was really worried.

you wash your face for the millionth time and apply your skincare products. maybe it's these products making your face look ugly, you think.

taehyun reaches your door and knocks. “yn, baby? are you in there?”

you widen your eyes when you hear him, causing tears to slowly run down your cheeks because you were late and not even close to being ready for your date. you go to your front door, opening it slowly and peaking your head out. “tyun..”

“oh my god, thank fuck you're okay! i was getting worried! you're never late, hell you're always ready before me and i've been blowing up your phone with no answer, i thought something happened,” he rambles as he walks inside your place.

you stand there, watching him as he notices how you're not ready yet. he notices how your face is red and puffy. the amount of makeup you put on and the removal of it multiple times caused very clear irritation on your skin.

“baby what's wrong? is everything okay? why is your face so irritated and puffy?” he quickly takes off his shoes and rushes to your freezer to get an ice pack.

“i'm.. i'm okay, taehyun. i promise.”

“it's obvious somethings wrong yn. if you don't want to tell me, fine that's perfectly okay. but don't lie to me please,” he frowns and grabs the ice pack.

“i-,” you sigh as he walks to you quickly and with concern. he notices how you pause, probably thinking to yourself if you're ready to share what was wrong with him or not. he patiently waits either way.

he touches your face gently with the ice pack, you wincing at how cold it is. “shh.. it's okay. don't pull back. i promise it'll feel better soon.”

you tear up at his gentleness and let him “cure” your face for a little while.

“w-why are you dating me?” you say out of the blue.

he chuckles out a laugh. “you're kidding right?” he asks, thinking it was one of those silly questions you see people post tiktoks about.

your silence gives him the notion that you were, indeed, not joking, and he sighs.

“why do you ask?” he questions.

“i'm hideous. i look so fucking ugly without makeup on and even with makeup, i look horrifying. i don't understand how someone so perfectly flawless like you wants to be with someone who can't even control their pimples!”

he stops pressing the ice pack against your skin and looks into your eyes seriously.

“are you being dead serious right now yn? look at you. you're perfect! more perfect than i will ever be. you're beautiful, amazing, strong,” he pulls your waist to him. “you're my life. my rock. my world. my lovely beautiful girlfriend. long before i even had a crush on you, i wish i had skin like you. hair like you. i wish i had a great personality like yours. a pimple will be a pimple, honey.”

he kisses your nose gently and rubs your back.

“no matter how much you think you are ugly, you are beautiful in my eyes. you can't know how beautiful i am, how beautiful anything is, without understanding how beautiful you are.”

you tear up at his words and blush when he leaves many butterfly kisses against your face.

“you're beautiful. inside and out. that is why i love you.”

you look at him lovingly when he blurts out those last three words, leaving you a bit flustered too. “i love you too!” you tell him quickly and you squeal in happiness, hiding your face in his chest to hide the amount of tears that will be shed.

the first drink..

you and your usual group consisting of taehyun, his members and some of your friends all gathered to celebrate a friends’ acceptance into their dream university across the country. you were so proud of them, and normally you wouldn't drink, but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to celebrate.

you have had maybe a little too much to drink, especially for a light weight like yourself. so even after half a bottle of soju, you were already extremely extroverted.

taehyun also had a little too much to drink, however he did know how to control his behaviors (unlike you sometimes). you and him were currently dancing stupidly in the middle of the living room, along to the music. both of you in your own little world, not that either of you seemed to mind though.

“yn!” taehyun yells while giggling.

“taehyun!” you giggle back.

“yn! i love you!” he makes a heart with his arms above his head, smiling happily.

“i love you too!” you repeat the same action back to him.

all of your friends stare at the both of you. both of you have been yelling each others names and how much you love each other for over five minutes. they wonder why they have to deal with you, but in your opinion, that's their problem.

beomgyu, in particular, finds it annoying as shit. its probably because he wishes to have something like what you and taehyun have. either way, he always finds something to complain about when it comes to how much the two of you show your affection for one another.

“what the hell.. when are they gonna stop? it's getting so annoying,” beomgyu grumbles. huening kai laughs at his statement.

“hyung, you wouldn't be complaining so much if you had a partner,” he tells him.

“that's not true! i'm perfectly happy being single!” beomgyu exclaims, trying to get huening off of his back.

“i agree with huening kai on this one, gyu. you're just lonely. i don't mind it. they are a pair of idiots and as long as i don't look like that much of an idiot, i don't care what they do,” soobin admits.

yeonjun starts laughing at the leaders statement. “soobin i hate to break it to you-.”

“yah! leave me alone yeonjun hyung,” soobin grumbles and goes back to snacking on his chips.

beomgyu watches you and taehyun more, sighing. “okay maybe i am a little jealous of their relationship.. they just have it so easy.”

“they do. that's what makes yn-hyun, yn-hyun,” yeonjun says, taking a sip of his drink.

“ew, did you just give them a ship name? now thats cringe!” beomgyu makes a face of disgust.

huening kai frowns, stating, “i think yn-hyun is cute though! the name's so cute, like them.”

right at that moment, you scream happily because taehyun picks you up and spins you around. “i love kang taehyun! he's the best boyfriend ever~!”

“ahh.. actually i agree with beomgyu now. remind me to never allow our group drinking nights to include both of them together,” yeonjun sighs, rubbing his temple gently because of how loud you two were being.

beomgyu and soobin chuckle softly, and huening kai smiles.

“i agree,” they say unanimously.

i still feel the first fight..

“you don't understand yn. of course i'm going to put them first it's my job!”

“it's not that i don't want you to put your career first taehyun. i just don't want to be last in your life! why would i keep you from doing what you love?”

your first fight was a serious one. you honestly thought your first fight would be over something so small and petty like forgetting to flush the toilet or something, but wow were you very wrong.

he frowns frustratingly. “you just said you don't like it when i ignore you because of it! i don't understand what you want from me, yn.”

you grow frustrated with him not hearing your side. this all started because you were able to get your job promotion, something that has been on your mind for months. something you wanted so much, and you expressed that to him many times before. the day finally came where you did get promoted and you waited no time to call taehyun to let him know the big news.

you called him once, no answer. that's fine! maybe he’s busy, you think.

you called him again an hour later. no response as well. you’ll just wait until you get home, maybe he won't be so busy then!

you get home, shower and get comfortable in bed and call him. you called him again, and again, and again. 10 missed calls later, you were growing worried. he’s never like this, your mind goes to the worst. then as soon as you head over to your messaging app in order to text soobin about taehyun, you get a notification.

TXT_TAEHYUN left a comment on MOA’s post : hahaha cute

this made you very upset. it's not that you didn't appreciate his love for moa, hell you wanted him to love them with all his being because they're the ones who make his dream a reality. but with 10 missed calls, and him clearly being on his phone. you were done.

that's why you showed up to the dorms unexpectedly and very upset. and now, instead of staying the night in his arms after he understood, you were fighting.

“okay whatever taehyun. i'm going home,” you grab your jacket and sigh.

“yn we've been friends for so long why is it now that my career is bothering you?”

this is when you tear up, biting the inside of your cheek. you put on your jacket and your shoes quietly, afraid that if you speak up now you will start crying. his career never bothers you, but the way his behavior was this time around did.

“yn look at me! talk to me! how is this relationship going to work if we don't communicate?” he asks, tears threatening to pass his eyes as well.

you look at him and sigh. “maybe when you're done being active on social media while ignoring my important calls you'll see that you're the one who isn't communicating enough taehyun. oh and by the way, i got that promotion. could've told you a long time ago if you truly gave a shit.”

and with that you walk out the door, slamming the door with enough force to startle him but to not cause a scene.

and we both made it out alive..

a week later, neither of you had contacted each other. the longest you've ever gone without talking to taehyun and you felt how empty your life was.

he felt the same. he struggled to perform well on everything, gave half assed performances during practice and rarely tried to actually sing properly. the sad part is, everyone noticed.

10:56pm

beom c: : hey.. :( i know you said not to bring up.. *him* .. but he needs you

beom c: : he hasn't been himself yn and i'm started to get worried

beom c: : we all are.

beom c: : i understand the fight was very intense and serious but he really isn't the same without you

you: i'm sorry gyu i just don't think i can do this right now

beom c: : and that's totally fine. i'm not gonna force you. none of us will

beom c: : just know he misses you.. a lot

you heart react his message and sigh, rubbing your face. it's not that you didn't want to reach out, you just hoped he would first. he was the one in the wrong in the first place.

so you decided to wait it out, despite the members’ begs and pleas. you didn't want taehyun to get the satisfaction of knowing you would come back to him despite him not understanding that he what we was doing was wrong and hurt you deeply.

a few days pass and you were walking from work to your bus stop when you get a message.

7:29pm

tyunnie :3: yn..

tyunnie :3: baby i'm sorry. can we talk please?

tyunnie :3: i miss you so much.

you tear up, not knowing if you wanted to answer him. you're scared of losing him but at the same time you don't want him to get upset at you for standing your ground. you were afraid that this fight would lead to the destruction of “yn-hyun.”

but you reply anyways, because at the end of the day, you loved him. no one in the world has ever made you feel the way taehyun has, and you don't think anyone could ever replace him. couples have fights all the time, and all that should matter is f they're willing to learn from their mistakes and grow.

you: only if you promise this won't lead to another fight.

tyunnie :3: never. please come over?

you head towards the dorms instead of your apartment that night and once you reach the door, you hesitate. you trust him and you trust that he won't break his promise, but why is it so hard to even think about confronting the situation again? you're scared he wouldn't understand you and wouldn't be willing to understand you.

it's so irrational to think that way, because you know him well enough to know he would be willing to grow as a person. but the little voice in your head tells you to be careful anyways.

after taking a moment to breathe and prepare yourself, you knock on the door gently. it was so soft, taehyun probably wouldn't have heard it if he weren't expecting you.

he gets up from the couch, wiping his eyes because he had been crying ever since he gathered up the courage to text you. he then rushes to the door, opening it and looks at you sadly.

the both of you look like a huge mess. eyes puffy, sadness filling your eyes, bodies look like you lost a soul. you're both so surprised you've been looking like that in public, but that aside, taehyun seeing you like that broke his heart. seeing him like that broke yours.

you both stood there for what feels like hours, but was merely only 30 seconds.

“i-,” you both start. taehyun rubs his neck gently in both awkwardness and sadness.

“sorry, i just..” he stops, frowning and starts to look at the ground ashamed that he let this fight get this bad. he doesn't know how to start apologizing, he knows he's done wrong and he knows why. but never have you two fought like this as friends, let alone as lovers. so it was hard for him to confront the situation.

you saw the despair and regret in his eyes and posture. you felt it just from the aura he was giving off. you frown softly and press your lips together to try and fight down the tears that were threatening to spill.

hesitantly, you walk into the dorm and hug him. and you hug him close. taehyun immediately tears up upon contact and holds you close to his chest, hiding his face into your neck.

in that moment, you both knew you would be okay.

the greatest thing that i have achieved

this four little words, down on one knee

said, "darling, are you joking?"

and i just said, "please"..

you giggle, placing your hands on taehyun's chest after he spun you around to the music in the background.

“i honestly didn't realize how much you liked ballroom dancing,” you state, pecking his lips gently and you go back to cooking for your date night meal.

usually you would go out for date night because you find it hard to like cooking, but lately little things like dancing in the kitchen has made you realize how much you actually enjoy having date nights at home.

“i don't.. but i love you so it's worth it,” he walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist.

another thing you enjoyed about cooking. hugs from behind! taehyun rubs your sides gently with his arms, sneaking his warm hands under your shirt that sends you slight shivers down your back.

you smile happily and turn to face him. “pork belly's almost ready. can you go set up the table pretty please?” you ask him politely.

taehyun kisses you sweetly and hums softly, nodding. “yeah i can do that, my love,” he says while letting you go and he heads over to get the dishes.

you continue cooking, making sure the food is perfect for your perfect boyfriend. because you have a hard time enjoying cooking, usually taehyun would offer to cook for the both of you. you took it upon yourself that night to not only surprise him with a recipe you were given from his aunt, but also surprise him with your badass cooking skills, as you like to call it.

you have been practicing how to cook for him lately, and he’s noticed. its the way that you're only practicing how to cook, because the thought of if we're gonna be a family i need to know how to provide food as well has been lingering in your mind.

taehyun goes to set up the table, his hands shaking from the built up nervous he's been having all day. and it's only been getting worse by the passing minute.

he needed this moment to be perfect. why? well, because you're perfect.

he debated when and where it should happen, and what he loves most in the world is being home with you. so why not at a date night when you two spend the most time together?

“it's ready!” you exclaim happily and place the pork belly in the center of the table.

taehyun grins at your cuteness and reaches for something in his pocket. “yn?”

“yeah?” you turn to him, widening your eyes when you see him get down on one knee.

“i've know you for 6 years yn.. and have dated you for 2. some might say it's a little too early, but i dont think so. i am sure i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i want to be able to come home to you and our pets, not kids because you know how much i hate them,” he chuckles and blushes nervously.

his hands start to shake while opening the small little velvet box, revealing a small unique ring that he found to represent your relationship very well. private, but not secret, and unique. just like his love for you.

the day he got it was honestly one of the worst days of his life, dramatically of course. he asked huening kai and beomgyu to help choose a ring because you became close to those two after you and taehyun got together officially. never will he ask two highly indecisive single maniacs for relationship advice ever again.

but even on a day as bad as that one, not one ounce of taehyun's body told him to back out. and with the support of his members and both of your families, he was able to settle on the perfect ring for this special night.

“i just.. i've never been more sure of something in my life,” he continues shakily. “i've never been so sure of you. so sure of spending the rest of my life with the one person who makes me the happiest man in the world. even before we got together, i knew i wanted to have you in my life forever. whether that was as a friend or not. but now kneeling here in front of you, 2 years after officially being able to call you my girlfriend, i realized that there is no one in this world who could even come close to being compared to you. i love you, yn.”

he pushes the velvet box slightly towards you.

“so, will you marry me?”

“youre.. youre kidding, right tyun? this is a prank, right? a fake ring? did beomgyu set you up to do this to get back at me for pranking him with fart spray?” you tear up. you were happy taehyun was doing this (mainly because you were on the verge of proposing to him if he didn't propose soon), and you swore to murder beomgyu if he thought this would be the perfect set up to get you back.

“please, as if i'd let gyu hyung control me like-”

you stop him mid sentence and kiss him passionately until both of you are left breathless.

“i would rather die than not marry you kang taehyun.”

first dance, moonlight, in your parents' garden

i can't wait to see everything that's yet to be

our first child, and then a million more first times

taehyun twirls you to the sound of the music and pulls you close, just like the day he proposed to you.

you smile happily, dancing with him slowly. “i honeslty never thought i'd get married to my best friend.”

“neither did i, you were such a dork back then,” he chuckles, rubbing your back gently.

“hey!” you hit his chest gently and blush softly.

“my dork,” he kisses your head softly. that put a blush across your cheeks and you continue dancing with him, placing your head on his chest.

you both admire the scenery and hold each other, swaying to the music in the background. "your parents did so well with the garden,” taehyun mentions.

“they did, hm? our parents are our biggest supporters and i couldn't be more glad.”

he nods, agreeing with your statement and he smiles happily. “they really are,” taehyun dips you carefully and pecks your lips. he keeps you there for just a moment, you both staring into each others eyes lovingly before he helps you stand back up straight.

“woo! go yn-hyun!” beomgyu screams from the edge of the dance floor. despite him being the most annoying about how annoying your relationship with taehyun was, he was the most supportive. of course, you both would never tell him that because it would boost his already huge ego.

“yn-hyun! yn-hyun!” huening kai starts to chant happily, laughing when in brings a blush to both yours and taehyuns cheeks.

huening kai was the one you said when they had asked who the biggest supporter was just to tick beomgyu off. it was funny, but only up until you both realized beomgyu was actually upset about it.

everyone knew beomgyu was yn-hyun’s biggest fan, and even he knew it too. so the next day, when taehyun asked him to be his best man, he cried. he fully expected it but with the previous days incidence, he was doubting himself.

“this..? for me?” beomgyu gasps softly after reading the little letter taehyun wrote for him asking to be his best man. one second later he was hugging taehyun. “but huening..”

“you have been and will always be there for me and yn. yes huening too, but you specifically helped us in many other ways that he did not. i want you to be my best man, beomgyu hyung,” taehyun hugs him back.

“y-yes! i do~,” beomgyu jokes with the i do (you know because thats what the bride and groom say) with tears in his eyes and hugs his member tightly.

back in the current moment and being the best best man he is, beomgyu ends up bringing everyone to start chanting your ship name. including both of his hyungs who were trying to steal some snacks from the fruit display.

“yah! why are you eating fruit right now! yn-hyun needs us!” beomgyu grabs his members by the ear and takes them back to where everyone was at.

you blush happily, realizing what was going on around you.

“this is probably so random and stupid-" you start.

“nothing you say is stupid yn,” taehyun reassures you and dances with you slowly.

you grin softly, kissing his cheek and continue. “i know it's only our wedding day and our journey together has barely started but.. i'm really excited to start a life together,” you admit.

“a new life without kids..,” he corrects you, looking at you sternly but in a joking manner.

you let out a laugh. “please the only kids we’ll be having are your idiot members.”

“correction, the only child we’ll be having is beomgyu because for the love of everything, he is a literal child sometimes,” taehyun laughs with you happily.

he then twirls you around once more and kisses you when the song ends, pulling back as yours and his family cheers happily. and yes, the family including the members that he considered brothers, are now yours unfortunately.

“i can't wait to experience so many more things with you my love.”

“neither can i, terrence.”

#taehyun x reader #kpop #tomorrow x tomorrow #txt

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