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veni vidi vici
a system of 22 / trying our best
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I must D R A W
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i’m a good person i don’t deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual
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full offense but no child should ever grow up scared of their caregiver(s) or feeling/knowing their caregiver(s) don’t love them or care about them like they should
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me: ugh I’m so fake and I’m just pretending when I switch and let my alters talk to people
my reasonable brain: ... what goddamn reason would you have then for changing your inner voice and thought patterns and preferences when you’re completely, entirely alone and have nothing to prove or benefit from it
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You know what fuck what people say.
You can have DID/OSDD and still enjoy life.
If you and your alters cooperate well? Be proud of it.
If your persecutors have recovered and changed their behavior? Be proud of it.
If your alters helped you through difficult times? Be proud of it.
If your alters help you keep your body in good health? Be proud of it.
If you have good communication in your system? Be proud of it.
If your DID/OSDD helps you in any way, be proud of it.
Being okay or happy with your diagnosis is not a sign of faking, it’s a sign of recovery and improvement.
You can still have hard days and still struggle and still have times where it is definitely a disability. Because that’s what it is, and it takes from you what others have for granted.
But you can still enjoy life and be happy and find ways to work with your disability, and even find it to be a feature of your identity or find positives in your disability, instead of constantly letting it bring you down or considering it a fatal flaw.
Yes, there are people out there who struggle and are upset and can’t stand their DID/OSDD, but that doesn’t mean YOU have to be the same way.
Don’t let them tell you you’re a fake or you’re wrong for actually finding good things in your disability.
Finding positivity in your mental illness is a sign of growth.
{{ DID/OSDD systems only, please }}
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hmm so i know a lot of things are signs of fake system but some of the stuff y’all are saying are impossible for people with DID/OSDD aren’t actually impossible, just somewhat uncommon and calling them impossible rather than stating that they are unlikely is very damaging. things like:
recent media fictives. DID/OSDD has to form in early childhood but alters can form after you have it at any age. If you developed DID at age 6 you could get a new alter at 16 or 20 or 35. Therefor recent media fictives aren’t impossible even if having lots of them is suspicious.
controlling who fronts. I don’t know any systems that can always control who’s out but it’s not completely fake to have an alter who somewhat controls who is out and when nor is it impossible to switch on purpose.
in-system death. while this is technically, yeah, impossible, it can defintely look like it’s happening. if someone in a system thinks another alter is dead or saw them “die” it can just mean that they are now dormant and that their brain’s interpretation of that is to make it look like death.
new alters forming without new trauma. while a truly new alter isn’t going to just split for no reason (if it seems that happened they may be an alter who’s been around a while) you don’t necessarily have to have something severely traumatic happen. it can happen simply from high stress rather than trauma (although i know the line can be quite blurry). some people with DID/OSDD are more prone to splitting. Also the whole “you’ll only get a new alter with new trauma AND when the other alters don’t fill a roll to handle it” is just… purely made up. It’s especially an insult to large or polyfragmented systems. i doubt that all of my like 150ish alters were created to have a unique job that no other alter could possibly fill.
there are others but really those are ones i see really often and it’s… it’s not good. It’s always good to be aware of what about systems is something made up by tumblr (system hopping, endo systems) but its also good to know which things are being said to be impossible when they aren’t.
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10 Signs you have/had toxic parents/been abused/childhood trauma
-you’re passive aggressive towards yourself
-“it’s my fault, I didn’t do it but it has be my fault somehow.”
-self-harm because you deserve it.
-if my parents hate me, I shall hate myself as well.
- I’m not being abused, I’m just trying to make myself believe that I’m not a nuisance to my parents.
- I shouldn’t bother my parents/abusers with my feelings.
-if I deserved love and affection, I should’ve got it a long time ago.
- If I’m not good enough to them, I’ll never be good enough to anyone.
- they’re always right, I’m the one who’s wrong.
-“we’re the best parents, but you don’t deserve how kind and compassionate we are”
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This is literally the most fragile age for a developing brain. DO YOU WANT THE FIRST IMPRESSION YOU MAKE ON YOUR CHILD THAT YOU ARE UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT, ESPECIALLY AT SOMETHING IT LIKES? SERIOUSLY?
This. IS. PSYCHOLOGICAL. ABUSE.
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“but this didnt used to trigger you” or even “this didnt used to trigger me why am i upset about it now, i must be faking”
memory shifts. you build barriers to protect yourself and depending on the frequency of your exposure to something, those barriers can break down or change
understanding something better can make it feel worse sometimes. look, when you were younger you probably couldnt understand that something was hurting you. now that you know it was bad??? yeah its gonna trigger you worse than it used to because you KNOW now.
recovering from some things can unlock deeper struggles. so you dealt with the issues that were on the surface? well your brain is going to let you access the next level of problems that need to be dealt with now.
life has different phases that expose you to different triggers. stuff that triggers a teen with school responsibilities is going to be different than the stuff that triggers a new parent with a new baby or an adult with a social job or a blogger with constant exposure to daily news.
triggers can be shaped by the trauma of people you know. you can gain new triggers from knowing something related to that happened to someone you care about. once you know how awful a thing can be, even if it wasnt awful for you personally, you can still be sensitive to it.
and most importantly
YOU DONT NEED A REASON FOR SOMETHING TO BE A TRIGGER. yes, there IS a reason, but it’s not your responsibility to immediately understand why your brain does what it does. forcing yourself to analyze too soon is skipping the stage where you learn to cope with it first. learn to cope, then analyze. knowing why is difficult if you cant handle the emotions that come with knowing
UNDERSTANDING COMES WITH TIME AND INTROSPECTION. you should not force yourself to explain your triggers, especially without the guidance of a therapist or trusted, stable confidant.
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If it’s too hard to think positive, think neutral.
I’m no better or worse than anyone else.
I deserve the same things in life as anyone else.
I’m a human being.
Right now, I am feeling ________(fill in the blank).
I don’t know how I’ll feel in 5 minutes, or tomorrow.
I can’t predict the future.
Life is full of painful, pleasurable, and boring moments.
The world is full of good, evil, and gray areas.
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that reminds me there’s a comic strip where snufkin just straight up passes moomin his toke. just gives him his fucking weed
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when someone goes through ur blog archive and likes 1000 things at once
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therapist: how was your week?
me: mm.. i can’t remember
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Me: I have symptoms that keep me from exercising or, really, doing any of the things I want/need to do.
Doctors and random people whose advice I didn’t ask for: Have you tried exercising?
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DID is jus like your brain randomly assigning you kins based on things you jus watched and being like "this is you now for the next half hour or whatever" and you got no choice but to have the mentality and world view of that character
or alternatively they jus get added to your brains party like in an rpg temporarily
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