See you tomorrow Philly!! #DONE #muralarts #PhiladelphiaMuralArtsProgram #studentshow #beastyfeast

this is me everyday. I have some type of cold right now and am behind. GET TO WORK ASHLEY.

Usagi running  ♥  transparent

2016 Resolutions

Okay I’m a week late on these, but I’m busy and I’ve been thinking about them everyday!

2016 RESOLUTIONS

my 5th year doing these! Hooray! Here is a list of things I hope to achieve this New Year, last year I was pretty ambitious and had no time at all in the world to do anything, so I’m hoping I can be a bit more realistic this year.

1. LIFE BALANCE

I work a high stress day job, that pays okay, but during my spring deadline season which starts in February, I won’t have much time to myself and I work later hours. I am hoping that after going through this season last spring, I can be better mentally prepared this year. I hope that I can take some time to myself while still remaining organized and on top of things at work.

2. More ART

This past fall I had to take a break from making detailed artwork because I ended up developing Chronic Dry Eye. The underlying cause is still not identified, but I went through a lot of tests to prove that it wasn’t Multiple Sclerosis. However, I now have two different sized pupils, ocular migraines, and temporary blindness when I strain my eyes. I’m on Restasis for this, and trying to control my stress levels helps. I’m feeling a bit better after a few months on this medicine so I really need to get back in to making things.

3. More HEALTH

I did great over the summer, and went to the gym  6 days a week, watched what I ate, and still felt like crap. My current PCOS medication just doesn’t care, and I was at my heaviest over the summer for no reason. Then in July I had an autoimmune sickness that lasted until November (which doctors think triggered the Chronic Dry Eye whatever). So I went through like three rounds of prednisone, some anxiety medication, and I’m done going to that doctor. Just crazy. I hate when the answer is only medication, because its not. I just need to keep up doing my little yoga routine I’ve been doing since 2005 in the mornings, and definitely work my way back into the gym. More lemons, less pasta, balance out my sugar, etc. I’ve been drinking loose tea everyday, and my skin looks pretty good. Fibromyalgia pain is just unavoidable, so I need to make sure the rest of my body is crap so that I can deal with it.

4. Health combo + FOOD

So this one kind of partners with number 4. Yes I bought the Gweneth Paltrow cookbook. Yes she is insane. But she also has the same food allergies I do and a cyst on her ovary (I feel like I read this somewhere). She wrote a cook book with allergy people in mind, and my mom bought it for me as an early Christmas present. I’m going to try and do what she says. The reviews of the book seem promising.

5. KEEP UP HOUSE

Tom and I moved into our first place together, so this one is so important. We need to come together and make sure everything goes according to plan in terms of cleaning, paying bills, and other couple things. We have both lived on our own before but to be honest this is the first time sharing a bedroom with a roommate since Freshman year of college.

6. Clean up Website

I just need to do this. My current site is www.ashleyfontones.com. I no longer code my site from scratch, since I just couldn’t get it compatible with mobile devices; but I truly miss having that control. So I keep trying to make a website that fits my work and myself and its a bit difficult. I also want to embrace this artistic minimalism going on at various illustrator’s websites, but its HARD! I’m insane and my websites usually are too :(

7. Zine it up

I do a zine once a year and sell them or give them out. But I usually half ass them...Maybe this year I can kick my butt and put some effort in. Zines are really cool and fun to hand out and I don’t want mine looking crappy anymore.

8. GO SOMEWHERE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Bringing back my travel resolution. I traveled for work last year to Minneapolis and Philadelphia, and honestly that does NOT count. I’d like to go somewhere for FUN.

9. Build up social media

I want to keep getting followers on my Beasty Feast Instagram! FOLLOW ME @beastyfeast

10. Do something to honor Ella’s memory

I know this sounds crazy, but its important to me. If you guys knew me in real life, you knew my dog Ella. She was my little puggle, and she was my partner in crime. She was like my child. She wore clothes, sat at the table with us, and took care of her things like a person would (she kept her 20 something toys neatly in a basket and never destroyed them, same thing with her blankets and pillows) She passed away unexpectedly at the young age of 4 due to complications with tumors  (we thought we had gotten all of them). So my world does feel a little surreal these days. I took her collar and her newest favorite toy with me to the apartment. I’m not looking to have her remains tattooed into me, or get a stuffed animal of her (like my mother almost got me, dear god I would have killed her), but I want to do something that truly honors what Ella was. Ella should have been a license therapy dog, she was the sweetest thing, and loved everyone. She had a ton of dog friends in our neighborhood, and was very popular. She even got followers on Instagram just for her photos. I want to do something special like maybe donate some art to charity or volunteer at a shelter one weekend or something that I know she would be proud of (if a dog could be proud) Or honestly I want to have a baby and name it Ella but that is a psychotic thing to do and Tom would never go for it. That escalated quickly and now I’m emotional lol.

Okay so only 10 resolutions this year. This year needs to be more peaceful. Last year was supposed to be adventurous, and I suppose the adventure was my new job which has taken me different places, built huge connections, and expanded my graphic design skills (which I needed desperately). A lot happened last year that I wasn’t prepared for emotionally, because I was so focused on work. I think I owe it to the people around me to calm the fuck down.

Thanks for reading! You can check out my previous post for my 2015 resolutions revisited!

5th Annual! 2015 Revisited

2015 Resolutions REVISITED

I cannot believe this is the 5th year I’m doing my Resolutions and Resolution Revisit. Last year was all about Adventure and Work. I have to say, I have worked harder and more in this past year than I have in probably my entire life, and while monetarily it did not show, and many nights I felt myself questioning my sanity and seeking validation, I am sincerely glad that 2015 is over. I did not do much adventuring, because I found myself working 6 days a week for my day job, and all time in between on other projects and at a gallery my business partner from previous gallery ventures co-founded together. So maybe, the adventures were found in my work.

Here’s a look back on my 2015!

1. WORK.

“I can never get enough of it. Its when I’m happiest, and at my best. I want to work more. This year I’ll focus on getting it full time.”

Oh baby do I regret saying this. I am exhausted! In a better place maybe, but exhausted emotionally, physically, and mentally. I nabbed a full time job, but as all full time jobs do when you are used to freelancing as a creative, they suck you dry in terms of creativity. The job isn’t as fun as the last full time contract I had either, and focuses on a more administrative role rather than artistic one.

2. Move!

“I’m adding this to the resolutions this year once more. I let it go last year because I knew I was living in the belly of the whale. This time, for my own sanity, I’d love to move. Maybe somewhere exciting? Who knows. This time its me and Tom.”

This finally happened! Tom and I moved into our own place. I cannot say the word finally enough. We did not move somewhere entirely exciting, but for where we are, the place is amazing. I’ll try to remember to post some pictures soon.

3. Exhibit somewhere with national recognition

“I’ve been fortunate to live in a small community with a few galleries, who have given me the chance to shine on many occasions. I think I need to work on finessing my work a bit more, but I’d like to get into a bigger gallery, maybe one that specifically shows “soft macabre” (someone who recently bought a piece of mine described it that way lol). This is definitely a big pipe dream, and I include magazines here. Closest thing to a childhood dream I have actually.”

This is an interesting resolution to revisit. I did not show anywhere outside of my community, and frankly, I didn’t try. I could barely keep up with work at my gallery and I went back to school. The closest thing I can say to exhibiting in a nationally recognized gallery, is that I was accept and completed the Philadelphia Mural Arts training program. Our group show is in two weeks, and although its in 2016 I was accepted and began training in 2015, so maybe this counts.

4. Finish a short

“I was able to be on a pre production team for a really amazing sounding short film, but, as is common in this industry, the project has been shelved for now. It would be cool to get something small finished, to fulfill college Ashley’s hopes and dreams. My skills have gotten sharper, but my creativity has been poured into my illustration. I may have to combine the two sides of myself.”

This didn’t happen either. I was able to do more video work here and there for my gallery, clients, and others, but still not the creative work I’m craving.

5. TRAVEL SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE.

“I think I write this EVERY YEAR. lol. but c'mon, the more I ask the universe, the more likely it is to happen right? Tom’s been working so hard, and I know the retail world can suck the life right out of you. I’d love to be able to inject some life into the two of us by going somewhere fun, even if just overnight. As usual, I want to go to a famous haunted hotel or something. You know, romantic”

I’m not sure my cousin’s wedding counts, but hey why not. I’ll go somewhere someday!

6. Chop my hair off.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have the bawls to do a pixie cut. I’m Puerto Rican/Italian with ridiculous hair, but I’ll chop it up to my chin like I did in 2012. If you think that’s less work, you’re a sad person. But I’m better with a blow dryer now than I’ve EVER been.  My mother in law got me a gift card to a salon for Christmas, I should have fun with my hair this year”

I have to say, the gift card only covered 1/3rd of last year’s new year’s haircut, and I’m still a little bitter about that. I got that curly hair biracial surcharge. I found a new hairdresser last summer, and started experimenting with care rather than cut. I feel better about the health of my hair now.

7. Go to a convention

“conventions seem really cool and important. There’s SIGGRAPH, CTN Expo, KidsScreen, Illuxcon, and other amazing Animation/VFX/Illustration conventions out there. I missed out on a ton this year, so many that it makes me want to cry. I just want to be in a room surrounded by incredible talent and inspiration. It would be fun to table at one or even just go as a spectator…”

No time at all to do anything. 2015 flew by....

8. Take a 3D Animation or programming class

“I’ve always been good at learning on my own, but being a freelancer has made me crave routine. I took a psych class over the Summer, and loved it. I’ve been studying programming for years on my own, webdesign has been part of my freelance repertoire for years- but it would be amazing to be able to develop my own aftereffects scripts or create something interactive. ROUTINE. STRUCTURE. SCHOOL. why do I miss this? because I have no bed times, and I make my own hours. Oy vey…”

I ended up going back to school but for something completely different. I don’t want to post much about it until I’m completely finished which looks like I will be in 2017. It definitely is a great fit for me and applies directly to my current work.

9. Learn…Portuguese?

“I’m fortunate enough that Spanish is spoken by my father in my house on the regular, and I can understand it (and speak it somewhat) fluently. I get told that I look Brazilian a bit more than I look Puerto Rican, AND that Portuguese accent is so fun sexy and catlike! I love the way the language sounds.”

Didn’t even have the time to try :(

10. Learn how to cook.

“I definitely can eat. The only thing I know how to cook is seafood….fish, shellfish etc. Its odd that I can filet a perfect Salmon or clean and de-vein shrimp with ease. I also make a mean scampi. But hand me a potato and I practically kill myself trying to peel it. I cook a lot for my family since they get home late and its just me and my young sister. But honestly how much pasta can I feed a 12 year old? Before she gets diabetes?”

I think I always knew how to cook, but I’ve just been broke for a long time.

11. In conclusion…

“2015 Will be the year of ADVENTURE . I want some freshness and excitement to hit me. I want to experience all of this with the love of my life, who I’ve been with for 4 years, and have been in love with since the age of 10 *true story*. Freelancing seems exciting, because you’re never tied down and you’re constantly on the hustle, but to be honest, it doesn’t leave much room for enjoying life. Unlessssss you’re super great at lining up work so you can have the illusion of steady pay ;)”

2015 ended up being the year of WORK. I worked more and longer hours than any time in my life, and I half regret it. I’m a bit more cynical, and the world has lost a bit of its color. I went through major eye issues, and had to cut back on painting and drawing. I still am dealing with that, and I guess not being able to create what I would like has put a damper on my personality...I’m slowing dreading the rest of my life if all it is is what is happening currently. My little dog passed away, and although living together with Tom is nice, I am still feeling trapped by things like work and my inability to really ink anything without my vision blacking out. I am really hoping that 2016 allows me to fall into my own softly rather than fight for it, like I’ve been doing all 2015.

now...ON TO 2016 :)

Started this over the weekend. Probably got less than 20 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. Body is feeling it.... #slamyourbodydownandwinditallaround d #hiseeyaholdtight #blackpaint #painting #latina #latinaartists #paint #acrylic #portrait #hair

Finally Vimeo allows faster uploading or something and this gem will see the light of day. Cleggonomics eau de toilet for @staxxyrhee and @ericsgotlegs because I miss them!!! We used to do weird crap like this all the time #leggomycleggo #TBT

Out of coffee

That moment when you are trying to clean out the old boxes from your closet, read the syllabus for a class that starts tomorrow, plan a meeting with school administrators, figure out if you are hungry or not, and make sure no one hates you by the end of the week.

I sometimes feel like I'm going to explode. Like working 3 jobs. Only getting paid for one. People expecting everything of you, but when you ask for help they ignore you. it's like when will it stop?

Bae playing video games #nhl15 #sketch #moleskin #bae #roommates #ashleyfontones

Got some moisture in my phone's camera lens but this happened #knoebels #aliens #amusementpark #pennsylvania

Pffffff

Jdhsnsjkanwj

Had to brighten up my blog that last post was heavy. Like a muhfuggin magikarp.

A few days ago a beloved teacher from my school district took his own life. His funeral was today. I thought they were going to keep the manner of his death quiet because many students would be there, but they included a portion of his suicide note in with the sermon and explained how he chose to take his own life. -Aaron -Linley -Ethan -Justin We lost a lot of people, some not to suicide. Tommy, and others I wasn't close with like Jake and Danielle. we lost Paulie and Geraci, we lost younger kids to overdose. The most important person in my life is a suicide survivor. I know many others as well. The repercussions of these deaths are felt even now and the pain becomes fresh every time I hear of another friend passing. The loss of a teacher, an authority figure, the school comedian...my 12 year old sister's running coach (he's been teaching here that long) is a whole new type of pain. Children cope in a variety of ways. Sometimes we need to be honest and open up the floor for discussion by sharing details and spreading awareness. And the kids in my town need to be more forthcoming when dealing with their issues. If we would all admit that we are human, and sometimes we DO hurt, our town could change and become a brighter place. People ask me why I haven't left, and I think this is the reason why. There can still be sunshine here, even though our winters are brutal and I see homeless begging on the highway, our social services aren't adequate and our job market is terrible- there's still the opportunity to be happy and let the demons of the past dissipate. But we can't achieve that unless we talk about it, and unless we reach out for help. It's saved my life. It's saved my friends lives. The dearest one in my life, he is very lucky. Let's all talk more. Let's make sure it doesn't rip through my sister's generation, she has now been exposed to it. It has become an actual option. let's work together and be there for each other. No one is truly alone.

Someday maybe someone will care but hopefully by someday I won't need it.

I don't know why my phone won't let me rotate this but good luck even positioned properly u won't be able to read it @.@ I was nominated by kineticnovels for the handwriting challenge....lol I hate my handwriting, it's great for note taking but nothing else. Questions are: name, blog title, crush, favorite color, favorite number, tagged by, all caps, favorite bands, favorite drink, and tag peeps The lucky jamokes I get to tag are ericmakes rhymes-with-lemons lalalacaroline geekpalace briannevanputte Sorry ma handwriting suxxx I cry evrytim

*_*

Beetle - Eric Clegg 2014