easiest to love, hardest to continue loving
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— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
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sometimes i wish i could hug god and cry in his arms
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Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1931–1934
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Alexander Blok, from The Twelve & Other Poems; "I Sense Your Coming,"
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i am a perfectly nonchalant person. except on days where i crave love. then i choke up and go insane and begin howling at the moon
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I hope everyone grows tired of being cruel to each other soon
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happy salt air month everyone. hope we continue living for the hope of it all 🧣🍁
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Reposting because it’s August 1st. :)
Written in August’21.
August Rush
a blazing, lonely summer
passed away in a rush,
with its white noons & orange sunsets.
August showed up,
like a friendly ghost,
wrapping me in a coat, gently.
'buckle up, big girl', it says.
winter must be on its way,
what else would make August
come out of hiding
& grant those it loves
a friendly counsel
before it disappears
& shows up again next year,
but this time
not with a coat,
but an embrace.
Love always,
aowkay.
Happy August :)
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we’re all little streaks of fireworks racing through the night. waiting for our time to explode into giant sparkles of uncontainable, unfettered joy.
i hope one day you stop dashing into the sky and can finally burst into smithereens of boundless happiness.
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you’re a tiny cloud softly floating in the wind
I’m the expanse of blue sky watching you drift through
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i can’t do this my soulmate would not be using dating apps
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need a boy who will see me break down and cry and still not view me any differently
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I know goodbyes are inevitable
but what if-
every time you were seeing someone for the last time
you knew
your heart knew you’ll never see this person again.
you’ll treat them different won’t you? hug tighter, say words you keep inside out loud, look at them longer, touch them longer.
we’d treat each other with more kindness than we usually do - won’t we?
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my heartbreaking trait is that once i fall in love i put myself at the mercy of that person. they can stomp and stab my heart but i still forgive. pride is out of the picture so my poor heart continues forgiving those it loves, despite the hurt. despite it all.
this is dangerous because humans abuse whatever little whiff of power they receive. be it power on someone’s heart.
so if you’re as giving and loving, make sure you find someone who’s careful, kind and considerate of the little power you vest in them. that they hold your heart with tenderness, that they don’t practice cruelty on it or use your love as bait to get their and only their needs met.
find someone who knows they can hurt you, but chooses not to.
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Is ‘i don’t want to exist’ an appropriate response to someone at work asking ‘how you doing?’
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“It was summer. I didn’t feel like saying anything. I felt as if I were going along some road of inexpressible sorrow.”
— Takuboku Ishikawa, from “Romaji Diary & Sad Toys,” published c. 1985
(via violentwavesofemotion)
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