I just feel better when I confess things here. It’s public but not public because it’s anonymous~~~

Ever since I realized I like a guy at work I’ve been terrified to see him. He’s coming back from his “weekend off” and I just am so nervous to see him. (Also I can’t wait to see him?) Since I realized it do you think he’ll know? I feel so exposed and transparent. I don’t want him to know. These feelings are too new for me and they’re scary as heck.

Not all men.

men will sexualize a woman’s milk, farts, piss, shits and mutilated corpse but mention period blood and watch em run for the hills

where i’m at girls

Another gay comic about my inner turmoil 👵🏽. Is vertical format better here? I’ve been putting these comics up horizontal but they just look weird on tumblr tbh.

wanting to be a lesbian…is a symptom of being a lesbian

edit (that should have been added a long time ago): this is true regardless of the gender you were assigned at birth

Someone: So what’s your sexuality/gender?

Questioning folks™️: *Incoherent panicked screaming*

How to know if you are actually atracted to guys or you are just brainwashed through heteronormativity letting you believe you have to give guys a go because you have some kind of connection?

This is such a good question and it’s really important for any woman questioning their orientation/attraction. I’m going to explain the difference using three specific examples of times when attraction gets confusing, but there are a ton of different ways compulsory heterosexuality manifests, so if none of these hit on what you’re feeling, feel free to shoot me another anon. 

Attraction vs. Compulsory Heterosexuality

Nervousness and BlushingA ton of romance media and common cultural tropes have this idea that you know you’re attracted to someone if you’re nervous or blushing around them. Because of this, you might feel like you must be attracted to a man if you feel nervous around him, just because you’re experiencing the physical bodily response you’ve been told to expect, not because you actually want to date him. Actual Attraction: You’re nervous because you’re excited to get to know someone. You find them attractive first and because you’re thinking about your attraction to them, you get self conscious because you hope they might like you too. Compulsory Heterosexuality: You’re nervous because you are aware that he is attracted to you, and because he’s paying such close attention to you– especially if he’s pushing boundaries or getting too close into your personal space– you become self conscious because you know he’s watching you. You blush because you’re uncomfortable. 

Hypothetical AttractionMany questioning women have a hard time sorting through their attraction because of hypotheticals. Our culture, in general, disregards or challenges wlw’s attraction and it gives this anxiety that we need to know 100% that we are not and will never be attracted to men no matter what in order to claim labels. It’s hard to do that as a young person who is just learning about themselves, flooded with “what if”s about the future. Because of this, you might feel like you can’t rule out being attracted to men because you might hypothetically be attracted to one someday. Who knows?Actual Attraction: You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it feels exciting and makes you feel good and hopeful and happy and right. It’s a nice feeling and is comfortable to think about. Reassuring. Compulsory Heterosexuality: You imagine a hypothetical future where you end up with a man and it makes you feel uncomfortable, scared, sad, disappointed, wrong. It’s an upsetting thing to think about and you hope it doesn’t happen. You don’t want to end up with a man even if you feel like you could. 

Sexual FantasiesOur culture places a big emphasis on sex when it comes to orientation. Some people’s orientation includes sexual attraction and some people’s orientation doesn’t, but most of us feel like our sexual fantasies are the most important indicator of non-straight sexuality because LGBPQ+ people have been so thoroughly reduced to sexual acts and sexual objects in the homophobic culture we’ve grown up in. Along with that, we’ve also grown up in a heteronormative and cisnormative society that repetitively teaches and reemphasizes the same singular sexual “script” for how sex is supposed to go, over and over and over. They do not teach any others, and it requires non-straight and non-cis people to invent their own sexual scripts individually and with partners. But as a young person, when you’re aroused, your mind has a very limited template of potential narratives associated with that feeling, so many people default to the same heteronormative script in their fantasies because it’s unconscious and easy. Because of this, you might feel like you must be attracted to men because you imagine abstract situations of sex with men, even though you have absolutely no desire to sleep with men in real life. Actual Attraction: When you fantasize about men, it is because you’re attracted to their bodies or specific men or the idea of having sex with men. You imagine qualities of their body and you like the idea of what you’re imagining. If you think about the fantasy later that day, you might feel like it’s embarrassing, but you also feel like it’s sexy. Compulsory Heterosexuality: When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features– the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. You don’t really like the idea of what you’re imagining. You might not even be in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. If you think about it later that day, you might feel vaguely nauseated or uncomfortable or feel invalidated and wrong. 

It’s really difficult to unroot compulsory heterosexuality. My simplest advice on getting through it is this: even if you are attracted to men, you do not need to date them if you don’t want to. If you only want to date other women, then you have the right to that. The rest is less important than the simple reality of what you want right now. 

I’m sorry really sick, but I wanted to at least finish this piece before laying down.

I’ll be updating the mystery dice tomorrow for you all, and getting new commission info ready

❤️

pigeon

thanks for reading!!✨💖🐦

Fun Fact: Despite how many times The Sims has changed art styles, they’ll often reuse assets by just slightly altering them for the new game. One example of this is the pigeon model that they’ve been reusing and slightly changing since 2004.

Pigeon Comic 103 - Benevolent Bitter Bird

My powers were knowing where to be and what to do at the pivotal moment...

I was a secret super hero that even super heros didn’t know about. I would always save the hero from death at the last moment, if they passed out and the villain would have killed them I’d step in. Stepping in didn’t mean into the limelight but often meant starting a chain reaction that would trip the villain, who would drop the laser, and free the hero OR maybe blow up a nearby abandoned building causing hero’s and villains to abandon what they were doing or change their plans. I would also stop them from doing something that would cause them to loose their way... but they would never know. If anyone had ever seen me while they were close to death or delirious they would assume they were seeing death and they had escaped my cluches.

In reality, I was the one dodging death; it was increadably dangerous for me. I couldn’t always see the way for me to escape and sometimes I would be hurt or come very close to being killed. I hadn’t yet but, my powers were unique. No one would be there to save me. No one would ever see me subtly save the day. No one knew what I did. There was never fanfare. No thanks for me. No one knew I existed.

Except her.

I don’t know who she was, girlfriend? partner? Wife? but in the dream there was a disaster and I had just narrowly made it out of a collapsing building as it started to fall out from under me.. I was on the roof? And I lept to the roof of the next building and I fell into HER warm brown arms and we fell together back against a wall on the tall building. She was strong and muscular but lean like a runner. She let out a breath that she had been holding and her shoulders released their tension, she held me close. When I burrowed my face into her neck she smelled like the sun and fresh linen. I felt safe and so very happy. She was here and that was all that mattered. We laughed, relieved and joyful to be alive and together. “I can’t believe they’ll never know what you go through for them,” she said surveying the damage over my shoulder. I pulled back so I could look at her and look at the city. The battle of good and evil had been terrible and there was so much destroyed in its wake. I had done my part and the villain had been defeated this time. I could only hope that another one wouldn’t rise to take their place too soon. My face was smeared with soot and I hurt all over. My clothes were burnt and still damp with blood in places. It would take me time to recouperate and heal. I laughed it off, “No, but that doesn’t matter, does it?.” I turned back to her to search her eyes for reassurance and she kissed me gently on the lips. I felt like my heart would burst with love and appreciation for this woman. She kissed me deeply... and I woke up.

sitt

adulthood really does hit you like a fucking truck when you spent all of your teenage years thinking you were gonna kill yourself eventually,

can you believe how many species of ducks there are forever i thought there was only brown, white and green duck.