HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy

oouuh, oouuuhhh!! we are hiring! we are hiring!! we are sooOO desperate for workers we will take anyone !! OOUUHH labor shortage!!!! pleaze let us hire you!! ouuUUUHuuuUhh................ Your application has been rejected. You are not what we're looking for at this time. We're sorry.

I was looking into break rooms (those places that give u a bat and let u smash stuff) and this line got me

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

Love to be on a website where I can join such hit 2022 fandoms as "century old public domain novel being read very slowly" and "half-century old mafia film that does not actually exist."

Crafting something spooky! ✨

idk whats funnier: that tumblr got people to spend multiples of $7.99 to add fake verification checkmarks to their blog to ""make fun of"" twitter's latest fuckup, or that these checkmarks literally do not show up for mobile users and thats why i had no idea this amazing feat of opportunistic capitalism was even happening until just now

some tumblr etiquette for new people!!

not sure how to feel about celebrities moving to tumblr... on one hand folks rejecting Elon’s tyranny and bolstering a platform that actually promotes democratization of speech is great. (on tumblr there are no blue checks or visible follower counts. you ride or die through the strength of your takes alone.) on the other hand get off my lawn. I am hissing like an irate goose

yall are a little too good at replicating the old tumblr fandom posts please stop i feel like a veteran on the fourth of july

Twitter threads are incomprehensible and dense and while they insist you can be "ratioed," you technically never win a Twitter argument.

On Tumblr you can win so decisively, you force that blog to deactivate and then that post will drag around that user's dead fucking body for all of time.

Every time you see it, it's a victory lap around a coffin that we'll never bury. It's astounding.

Turn the reblogs back on coward