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blank-vinyl
Dismaland
retasulettuce
and miles to go before I sleep
kittlys
饜嚨 馃尶 顺讋 饟劰
semev
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mercurytojupiter
Captain Jupiter
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Why is it that all High Fantasy books start with a scene in a tavern ?
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I had one person I'm my life left whom I could share anything with and felt comfortable enough to talk about my depression....and I have lost connection with that person now. I am officially lonely and have no one left to talk to.
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my biggest issue with chain of thorns is that we're told about some big/emotional events but we don't get to see them...
oh! will and tessa cried when they found out their kids were trapped in london! right after finding out their nephew died. but you won't get to read this scene
gabriel and cecily's son died! and they found out when his body was brought to them! but you won't get to read that scene!
will and tessa found out about the gracelet and were upset. but you won't get to read that.
charles confronted bridgestock and came out to the entire enclave in a very brave and dramatic way! but you won't get to read that!
like??? we had to suffer through 300 pages of a bullshit love triangle (i refuse to believe people honestly thought herondaisy won't be canon) but we couldn't get some genuinely important moments???
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Draw Me Closer
Do you know why I push you away
each time you draw me closer?
It's too see if you pull me back,
or just go away farther.
It's so unfair, the way I behave.
I lose my temper over the smallest things.
Yet get angrier when you do the same;
I make it harder for both of us to live.
I can't make myself happy,
only make people around me miserable.
What have you done to deserve me?
Someone whose moods are so unstable.
I want too much from you,
and I don't even know what I want.
The things I can give you are so few,
because I feel so done and lost.
Please bear with me,
I am not sure when I will get better.
But your love is all that can heal.
So when I push you away,
Draw me closer
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You know something that almost always gets overlooked while talking about depression?
Memory loss.
You are so numb, so detached that you have no idea what the fuck is happening around you. Even if you make an effort and try to stay in the moment, you'll lose that memory asap. You'd have no recollection of what happened 10 minutes ago.
You know why this sucks?
We're supposed to remember good things. Supposed to make them our beacon of light, safe cocoon, our patronus to ward off the darkness. But that won't happen if you have no memories, right?
What's worse is you can't function efficiently on your own anymore...you have to be depended on others to try to make sense of what's what...and you can't just outright confess every time that you forgot or make constant excuses about how you zoned out...you can't say that because you've probably not even told them about the depression
How do depressed people study or work properly when remembering things is hard af...when their own mind doesn't support them?
Which makes it so hard to be in social settings. I can't remember the new girls last name. I can't remember if or not i gave my boss the updates. Or if i got the tires checked 2 days ago or 2 months ago or if my cousin is seeing someone or not. Or if i had lunch. And believe it or not, society expects you to remember this stuff. When you don't, your anxiety (sister of depression) starts screaming in your head that you're a pathetic loser who should just die.
Wtf do i do? How to turn the tables on this? When my own mind is so fucked up how can I even trust myself?
I miss my mind. I wish I could remember how to trust myself.
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I relate to this so much
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I had one person I'm my life left whom I could share anything with and felt comfortable enough to talk about my depression....and I have lost connection with that person now. I am officially lonely and have no one left to talk to.
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Am I the only who doesn't give a damn about any of the ships in The Last Hours except for Thomastair ?
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