anakinsittinginsand - Tumblr blog

anakinsittinginsand · 2 years

Text

Lose The One

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: this is a part two to glimpse of us

word count: 6.6k

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

The queasy feeling in your heart should’ve been able to stop you from going to their home. The unexplainable anxiety boiling in your chest should’ve been able to make you stay in the comfort of your bed, instead of standing in front of their door, which was left ajar. The confusion bubbling in your mind should’ve been able to tell you that nothing good was happening.

You should’ve walked away, then perhaps your heart could still be saved.

But curiosity and worry struck you in the heart, and with a leap of faith, you walked into their home. Deciding against calling out their names— whoever was fronting at the time— You stayed silent.

Then you heard his voice, Steven’s, in the bathroom. A soft smile grew on your face, as you could tell he was having a conversation with Marc and Jake. You had encountered it a few times before, whether it was just them having a civil conversation or arguing about things that did not matter.

Walking closer towards the bathroom, you thought it was just a fun banter between them, the one which could entertain you as you thought they were being adorable—But you had never been so wrong in your entire life.

“I’m not letting you break her heart, Marc!”

Steven’s voice was dripping with fury, and you had never heard him speak that way before. A part of you was telling you to leave, but another was telling you stay and listen, and when you heard your name spilling from his mouth, you knew they were talking about you and there was no way you wanted to leave now.

“We— We’re protecting her. That’s what we are doing.”

Steven was unsure, and it was clear from the way his voice wavered, but he still stood firm on what he believed in. You had no idea what Marc was telling him, and you wished you could hear what was making Steven so angry.

“We are not telling her the truth. She would leave.”

The words came out as a whisper, and you would have went to him to give him a hug if he did not let out a scoff, glaring at the mirror as if it was the most sickening sight he had ever laid his eyes on.

“She would leave if she knows we have been lying to her, Marc.”

At his words, something inside of you recoiled in pain. You did not know if you could listen to him any longer, but it was as if your feet was glued to the floor, and you could not leave.

“Do you really want to tell her that we have been using her? That we have never really loved her the way she thinks we do?”

You had never experienced heartbreak before. You always wondered how terrible it must be, to let someone have a hold over your fragile heart, and to watch as they drop it on the ground, stomping it with their own bare feet. Now that Steven’s words rang in your head, you knew how painful it was. How terrifying it was.

They did not love you the way you thought they did.

“She’s so kind to us, so loving, so perfect. We can’t tell her the truth. It would break her heart. I don’t want to hurt her, Marc.”

You had to bit the inside of your cheeks, holding back a sob that was crawling out of your tightened throat. The truth that they were lying to you, making you believe that they loved you to death was presented before you, and you wanted to scream at Steven for trying not to break your heart, when that was all he ever did.

All these times, Steven was the one who had been hurting you in silence. You could not believe it. Never once did he forget to tell you that he loved you, and you ate up every single lie he fed you with. He was always careful with his touches, gentle with every kisses. He could never be the reason behind your tears.

If they did not love you, then why would they pretend as if you were everything to them?

“We need her, Marc. We would die without her.”

The desperation in Steven’s voice was the answer you needed. They were keeping you for their own selfish reasons. Hot tears boiled in your eyes, and you felt like you were walking on a burning tightrope. They were everything to you. Everything.

A lone tear rolled down upon your face, watching as Marc took over from Steven who was close to tears. You almost let out a scoff, it was funny to see how he was the one who was betraying your trust, and yet he acted as if he was the betrayed one. He had manipulated you into believing that he was the sweetest among them, and you had fallen for it foolishly.

“We are telling her the truth, Steven. We have to.”

Marc was determined, as the truth was starting to haunt him in his dreams, like a shadow looming over him and trying to swallow him whole one day if he kept on going like this— Lying and pretending to be in love with you when his heart had never been yours to keep.

“I know you love her, Jake. But Steven and I don’t.”

That was it. To hear it from Marc was like having him stab you in the heart, watching as it cracked and bled. A strangled sob escaped your lips, and you found yourself crying as everything came to you in a flash— Reminding you that everything they did and everything they said meant nothing to them when it meant the world to you.

They were your whole world.

“Y/N?”

Your sorrowful cries alerted Marc, and it ruined him when he saw you crying there, realising that you had heard everything. There was no turning back now. He had broken your heart, and you were going to hate him— Hate them.

“I trusted you, Marc. I trusted all of you.”

You were not screaming, and somehow Marc wished you were. Perhaps it would take the guilt off of his shoulders a bit if you showed him how furious you were. But you were holding it back, and all he could see when he looked you in the eyes was disappointment.

“Y/N, we need you. I need you.”

He still had the audacity to tell you that he needed you when he lied to you, acting like you were the one he loved, when you meant nothing but source of comfort to him. You could not believe that you were gullible enough to let them lie to you like this.

“You need me but you don’t want me. Is that what you’re trying to say?”

The disgust in your voice was enough to make him wince. You had never talked to him that way before. Not to him, not to Steven or Jake. You were always gentle with them, that sometimes he wondered if there was even an ounce of wrath in you. It seemed like he managed to bring it out of you, and he despised it.

“You have never really loved me. Is that true?”

Knowing the dreadful truth was going to kill you, but you had been living in lies for so long that you felt like you needed the truth to breathe. A piece of you wanted to strangle Marc when he let out a wistful sigh, the truth felt bitter on his tongue.

“I thought I loved you. But I didn’t.”

He would forever be grateful of your presence in his life, that he would never lie to you about. When his wife had finally had enough, Marc thought it was the end of it, that he would never have someone who could love him like she did. But then he found you, or rather you found him— And you could love him more than she ever did.

He wanted to feel your love and affection even if he knew there was no home for you in his heart. He could not live without you asking him if he was alright, he could not go on about his day without you sending him cute little messages throughout the day, and he could not sleep without holding you safe in his arms.

When he realised he was not in love, it wrecked him. He wanted to be in love with you, truly he did.

Marc knew nothing could excuse his mistake. He was greedy and selfish, loving the idea of you loving him so much that he would sacrifice your own heart for his needs. He deserved every single hatred you were going to throw on him, and he would understand.

“You’re keeping me sane. You’re my reason, sweetheart. That’s why I lied to you, hoping that you would stay.”

A fresh wave of tears streamed down your face, and as much as you wanted to walk away— You knew there was more. You needed to hear more from them, as they had been showering you in lies for far too long. You wanted to stop becoming the idiot in their story.

“You were planning to tell me, weren’t you?”

Marc nodded, holding back his tears as he knew he should’ve told you sooner. He was too consumed by his own selfish needs, that he disregarded the fact that you deserved to know the truth. You did not deserve to be in a loveless relationship.

“I finally realised that you deserve to know. I can’t sleep knowing that I’m lying to the only person who sees her future with me. I can’t do that to you.”

He did not know what would happen now that the truth was revealed. Marc could already see you leaving him, and he would fall into a pit of sorrow and he would have no one to catch him. A life without you sounded so horrendous, but it was what he deserved.

“I thought you were the one for me, Marc.”

He clenched his jaw, not wanting to break into tears in front of you. He was the one who was hurting you, and he did not want to make it seem like you were to be blamed. You always did that— Taking the blame for him when you should not. It was what keeping the fabricated relationship alive.

“You were so distant and I thought I did something wrong. You never told me what it was, and you kept telling me that you loved me. Do you ever look at me and think of how stupid I am to be falling for your lies?”

Marc shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. He had never thought you as stupid. Every time he lied to you, he would see the way your eyes lightened up, and it was a look of nothing but love. You were so in love with him, foolishly so, but he was the stupid one. He was the one who was imprudent enough not to love you when he had the chance.

Before he could tell you about his regrets, you saw the changes in his posture and the look in his eyes. You knew them too well to know who was fronting— Steven Grant. You used to give him your biggest smile, your warmest hug and your softest touch. But now you found yourself taking a few steps back, as if his presence was burning you.

And Steven noticed that, of course, he did. He was not greeted with your sweet laughter or your loving hugs. Instead, he was met with you scowling at him, putting your distance with him like he was a stranger who could hurt you. It hurt him terribly but then he looked at your red and swollen eyes, realising that you were hurt, too.

“Love, please listen to me. I love you—“

“How dare you? You don’t love me, Steven. Stop lying!”

If you were not screaming before, you surely were screaming now. Frustration and anger were building up in your chest, waiting for the right time to be let out. Steven’s declaration of love was the only push you needed to show them how wretched you were.

“Stop saying you love me when you don’t!”

He was not expecting you to yell at him. He thought if he took over from Marc, he could talk some sense into you, and perhaps he could make you stay with them. It was unwise of him to think that you would melt at the sight of him, when you already knew he was a liar. You were done being used by the man who you loved with all of your heart.

“I love you, and it is not a lie. It’s just.. It’s just that I love her more.”

Steven said, shredding your heart into pieces, and you could feel the pain, crawling and tugging in your chest. Somehow knowing that Marc had never loved you was better than this. To hear that Steven loved somebody else, it painted your world in blue.

“I’m sorry, love. You’re perfect. You’re everything we need but—“

“But I’m not her.”

The breaking in your voice was enough to send him to tears. He did not even bother to stop himself from crying as the reality hit him hard, that you knew he was pretending to be in love with you, when his heart was hers from the start. You, the only person who could calm the storm in his head, now could not care less about him anymore.

“Please don’t leave me.”

He begged, not caring at how pathetic he sounded, or the way Marc was scolding him in his head. He knew he did not deserve to be forgiven, and he should not asked you to stay, but he wanted you to stay with him. A piece of him still thought that he was the only person who could never hurt you, and that you were crying because of Marc and not him.

How could he live without you? You were the comfort he needed. When you fell in love with him, he felt like the world was his. He never thought someone could love him as much as you did. You had so much love to give, and you never stopped showing him how in love you were with him.

He saw the way you looked at Marc, and he saw the way you looked at Jake. You loved them endlessly, but Steven was convinced you loved him the most. You always gazed at him like he decorated the night skies with the brightest stars for you. He was the one for you.

He always knew what to do and say to make you smile, and he took pride in making you happy. It was not like he was competing with Marc and Jake, but he wanted to be the one who make you the happiest in his presence. He lived to see your smile, and the sight of your tears hurt his soul, even if he was not the one who made you so distraught.

“I love you.”

He said, once again, hoping that you would see that he could not go on with his life without you by his side. He was so used to having you with him, and he could see his downfall if you were not there to support him. His heart was hers, but he loved you, and it was always enough for you before.

“You see her every time you’re with me, Steven. I’m everything she’s not and you want more. I’m just an understudy to you. That’s not love.”

You spat, thinking of the time when you put him on top, never once did you see him as someone who was using you for his own good. Steven tried to reach out for you, but you slapped his hand away, and that was when he knew nothing could stop you from leaving them.

“How could you make me believe that you love me when you always think of her? Why would you do this to me, Steven?”

Your questions were left unanswered, as Steven could only shake his head, not knowing how to explain it to you. He did not know why did he do this to you, since you deserved so much more than to be with a liar. You were destined for happiness, and yet, he was robbing you from it.

“I was being selfish.”

The truth stung, but it had to be said, and he knew it was the answer you were looking for when you nodded weakly. Steven was known for pleasing you, worshipping the ground you walked on, loving you even on your worst days— But now you knew it was all a play pretend so he could keep you with him.

He was pretending to love you, and nothing hurt more than being betrayed by the love of your life.

“I hate you, Steven.”

The words rolled out of your tongue easily, that Steven flinched, shaking his head violently. No, you were not supposed to hate him. But there was no remorse in your eyes, and he knew you meant everything you said. You wanted to hurt him, and it was working.

“Don’t— Don’t say that, love. You’re hurting me.”

Your heart would break at the sound of his devastation, but it was already shattered, hence you could only scoff at him, watching as tears spilled from his eyes. To see Steven’s crying was torturing you, but then again, he deserved to cry himself to sleep every night from now on. And he would no longer have you to wipe his tears away.

He was not in love with you. He only loved the idea of being the good boyfriend you thought he was. The one who could make you find a way to make you laugh when you were on the verge of tears, the one who could make you smile when you were falling apart.

In return, you loved him so much that you thanked the stars every night for letting you to be with a good man like him.

“I wish I never fell in love with you, Steven.”

The words broke the last scaffolding holding you together, and more tears broke free with the anguish you had been keeping in. You wished you could turn back time, and maybe you could be saved from this sullen heartbreak. You shouldn’t have met Marc. You should’ve run when you still had the chance.

The aching in your chest was growing, and you knew you had to leave. You could not bear the sight of him anymore, no matter who was fronting. Suddenly you felt so alone. The truth was like you against them. All of these times you have been the idiotic fool in their mess, letting yourself drowned by their beautiful lies.

You were nothing but a pawn in their wicked game.

You were heading towards the door, heart heavy in your chest when he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking out of the door. You recognised the touch, it was not as gentle as Steven’s, but it was not as harsh as Marc’s. His touch always sent warmth rising in your chest, and it felt like your torn heart was stitching itself back together.

“Jake, let me go.”

There was so much to say, your words died down in your throat. You wanted to lash out on him, but when you turned around to look at him, the world around you crumbled helplessly. You had never seen the man so miserable before, that it took everything in you not to give in and fall into his arms.

“Forgive me, mi sol.”

You were his sun. Jake felt like air was forced out of his lungs, seeing you with tears on your face, knowing that he was a part of the reasons behind every drop of them. You, who always had a bright smile on your lips, and it was replaced with a sad frown. The blinding gleam in your eyes had shimmered into glistening tears.

He could not bear witness of the dying light in your soul. He had to save you, the way you saved him from losing himself to the darkness.

“Was any of it real?”

Your question was like a punch to his gut. He felt weak on his knees. It was like his muscles were ripped out of his bones. The pain was nothing like he had felt before. You were doubting his love for you, when he was the one who poured his heart and soul into everything he did and said.

“Of course, it was real. I would never lie to you.”

“Never?”

Jake stiffened at how cold you sounded. He bit his tongue, knowing that he did lie to you, when he hid the fact that Marc and Steven were only using you. He lied to you when he knew they were betraying your trust. He lied to you in order to protect Marc and Steven, hurting you in the process.

“Do you think I deserved it, Jake?”

With every word, it was intended to hurt him, and you did not even think twice as you wanted him to feel as hurt as you. Jake could only looked at you, knowing that he did this to you. He was losing the love of his life.

“I love you so much, Jake. I love you…”

Your defeated whispers were tormenting him. It hurt him to think that he would never get to hear those words again from you, and now he was going to remember the way you said them with trembling lips and teary eyes. He was going to remember how disappointed you were with him.

“I love you, Y/N. I swear I do.”

He said, pulling you into his arms as you let out the most heartbreaking cry he had ever heard. A great tremor overtook your body as you cried, and he let you, knowing that perhaps it could be the last time he would have the chance to hold and comfort you. He was losing you.

“Do you really love me? Please tell me the truth.”

You hated how frail you sounded, but your heart would not be able to take another lie.

“I love you so much, princesa.”

His words were like a heavy chain, binding your soul to his. For a moment, you let yourself dream of what it would be like if it was only you and him. Perhaps you could still forgive him and let it go, but you knew it was impossible for you to forget everything when your heart was crushed mercilessly.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe me. But I’m not lying when I say I love you.”

Jake did not know what to do to convince you that he was being truthful. Fear was suffocating him, and he started to feel lost, finding no love in your gaze on him. It was full of doubts, and he loathed it.

“Did you know that they were using me?”

His grip around your waist loosened, and he did not need to say anything to tell you that he knew everything. He was aware that Marc only needed you to ground him, to make him feel like a person who could be loved and cared for. He saw that Steven only needed you to comfort him, when the world was far too cruel for him to endure. Jake was the missing piece of the puzzle of your heartbreak.

“You knew, Jake. You let them hurt me.”

You hissed, getting out of his grasp as if his touch burned your skin. It tugged on his heartstrings when he realised that you were right. He claimed to love you, but then he allowed them to use you like you meant nothing to him. He said he was in love with you, but still he watched as they toyed with your feelings.

“If I told you the truth, then you would leave us. Marc and Steven would be a mess without you. I was only protecting them.”

He sounded like a complete jerk, saying that to you. And your next words was more painful than taking a bullet through his skull.

“Wasn’t I worth protecting too?”

The raindrops on the window were like tears falling down your cheeks. It should bother you of how cold you were getting, but you felt like you were shivering out of anger. You wanted to scream at them, hitting them, or trashing their home, but now the sound of the rain was the only thing you could focus on.

You did not even realise Jake was coming closer, not until you felt his lips on your head. The familiar feeling of warmth and adoration were creeping in, but they were quickly flushed down by your dejection. He did not protect your heart like he promised to.

“I know you don’t deserve to be betrayed like this. I was scared that I would lose you. If you knew, you would leave me because you can see them when you look at me. I love you too much to live without you, mi sol.”

He was not good with words, but he needed you to hear everything he had to say, no matter how mundane it might be to you. You were important to him, and he would do anything to make you believe that he loved you. He wanted you to know that you were the only one for him.

“My heart is yours."

You shook your head, not believing a word he said anymore. You could see regret in his eyes, but it was hard for you to think that Jake was not lying to you too. You could tell that he was dying to touch you, wanting to hold you and never let go, but he was frightened that you would push him away and it would break him.

“I wish I could go back to a time when I believe every word you say.”

Your wounding words was like a slap to his face. Tears trickled down his face, and he did not even bother to wipe them away as he kept his eyes on you, the person who owned his heart and soul.

“The least you could do was tell me the truth.”

He could only nod, ignoring the pain in his chest. He wished he could fix this, but he did not know how. The hurt in your eyes was enough to tell him that he had broken your heart, and you were not going to let him put it back together again.

“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you, mi corazón. I was wrong for lying to you.”

You would never forget how loving Jake was to you. He was a difficult man to deal with at the beginning, who did not talk much and he only glanced at you whenever he wanted to. He never cared much, but he never did anything to irritate you. He always noticed when you were uncomfortable or sad, letting Marc or Steven front so they could help you.

When he fell in love with you, you realised he was such a passionate lover. He always put you before him in everything. You were his priority. He noticed every little things you did, giving compliments when you were not expecting him to, and even if he felt like he did not deserve your love, you finally made him believe that nothing could stop you from loving him.

If Steven got you flowers because he felt like it was something that he should do, Jake got you flowers because you deserved to have flowers. He loved the way you would smile so big that it reached your eyes, and you would give him the best hug he had ever received in his whole life.

Roses and lilies were more like Steven and Marc’s type of flowers to give, and at first, Jake imitated them. But then he realised it would make you happier if it was personalised and thoughtful, and so he got you sunflowers. He would remember it forever that the sunflowers matched your yellow dress, and it almost made you cry out of happiness.

He had also stopped by at someone’s garden one day, as he accidentally saw beautiful flowers and he was immediately reminded of you. He knew he could just grab them and leave, but thinking that he was doing it for you, he knocked on the door and talked politely to the elderly woman who seemed to be more than glad to give them to him when he told her about you.

“You’re so in love with her. Are you going to marry her?”

The lady’s question crossed his mind again and again like a broken record when he was on his way home. Then he gave the flowers to you, smiling when you squealed like a little girl who got a candy. At the moment, he thought, he wanted to marry you. Yes, he wanted a life with you.

Jake was shook from his train of thoughts, stopping himself from being haunted by the ghosts of everything that should have been but will never be. Gone were the days when he could get you flowers. Gone were the days when he could think about how happy you would be if he asks you to marry him.

“Maybe if you told me the truth, things would be different.”

The guilt. Jake could feel it seeping through his bones. But with his growing guilt and regret, came a forceful and compelling need to make it up to you, to make sure that you get the life you deserved to get. It impaired him to think that in order to let you have your happiness, he had to let you go.

“Do you want to say goodbye to them?”

“No, I don’t want to see them ever again.”

You said, biting and bitter. Jake inhaled sharply, realising how agonising it was for you to look at him now, when you could also see Marc and Steven in him. But you did it because you loved him, and even if you did not say it, you believed that Jake truly loved you. You believed him.

“I love you, mi sol.”

You gave him a soft smile, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from saying it back to him. You had been hurt, and you could not let yourself fall for it again, no matter how genuine he was. You wished you could tell him how much you loved him, but it would only make things harder.

“You’re a good man, Jake. Take care of yourself.”

And then you were gone. The future he was going to share with you vanished into the thin air. Everything was changing. You were no longer there with him, with them. You had left, and even with Marc and Steven’s voices ringing in his head, he had never felt so alone.

He was afraid. His heart was empty and his mind was messy. He had to live without you.

“We’re going to be okay, Jake.”

Marc was wrong. He was trying to convince Jake that everything was going to fall back into place, but deep down, he knew it was impossible. There was no way they could have a better life than the one they used to have with you. The life they shared with you was like a dream, and now they were living in a nightmare.

They fought. A lot. It hurt them whenever they fought even at the smallest of things, because the argument would always spiral back to you. They would end up talking about you. They would reminisce the times when you were still with them. They would blame each other for your absence.

They needed you. They wanted you.

Marc watched you from afar. He felt like it was his obligation to make sure that you got home safe from work. If he could not walk you home at night like he used to, then the least he could do was protect you as much as he could. He would never forgive himself is something bad happened to you.

But then one day you saw him. And you had asked him to stop. He did.

Steven wrote you love letters. It was a thing between you and him. Your love resonated with every word written on the paper, and Steven could not stop himself from writing to you like he used to. It was his way of coping with your absence.

He never sent the letters to you. He knew you would burn them. And so he did it himself, watching as the letters turned into ashes.

Jake never stopped with the flowers. He left flowers on your doorstep every Monday, knowing that you were always grouchy on the particular day, and perhaps the flowers could make you smile. The first time you found the sunflowers, you immediately knew that it was from him. They went straight to the trash.

After a few months, the flowers stopped coming. Jake knew it was hopeless.

A year passed by and they were still inconsolable.

They could only hope that you were doing fine without them. They had hurt you deeply, and they knew there was nothing they could do to make you come back. You were better off without them, but sometimes they let themselves dream of how amazing it would be if they were given another chance to love you.

The dream faded away when they saw you that day.

You were walking with a spring in your step, your smile was as bright as the sun that it sent a smile on Marc’s face. He missed your smile so much, and the way Steven and Jake grew quiet in his head was telling him that they were awe-struck to see you too. It had been too long.

“She looks happy.”

Marc muttered, torn in between leaving or approaching you. As he was busy contemplating, his eyes caught the sight of a man who was coming towards you, Instinctively, Marc thought the man was suspicious and he had ill intentions. However, he stopped dead on his tracks when you ran into the man’s arms, the smile had never fallen from your face.

You were on a date with that man.

They went full on detective mode after that, finding out any dubious information about him. They were worried, and mostly jealous, but their main focus was to keep you safe and happy. They should not have been flabbergasted to see that your new boyfriend’s record was clean.

He never did anything disreputable. He owned a small company, and even if it was still new, his pay check was definitely better than theirs. He lived a safe life, far from danger unlike them who crossed with death almost every night. He could give you a much better life than they could ever do.

Somehow Steven managed to talk to his acquaintances, and he thought that maybe he could prove that your boyfriend was not as good as he seemed to be. But they only talked good things about him. They told Steven about how kind and loving your boyfriend was, and that they had seen him with you a few times. His friends really believed that you were meant for each other, like soulmates— Steven had to force a smile at that.

The second time they saw you with him at the coffee shop, Jake was fronting. He would be lying if he was not hurt, but he wanted you to be happy. He would do anything to make you happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own feelings for you.

Before he could stop himself, he was walking towards you who was waiting for your boyfriend. You looked so pretty. A tinge of jealousy hit him, thinking of how lucky the man was to be loved by such a perfect person.

The smell of coffee overwhelmed his senses. He could not think of what to say to you, but still, he dragged his feet towards you. He did not even realise what he was doing until he saw your smile dropped, but you quickly pulled yourself together and faked a smile.

“What are you doing here?”

Cold. He thought that maybe after a year, you had forgiven them. He thought that maybe, just maybe, you could be friends again.

“Are you happy?”

He asked, hating that the tone of your voice did not match the sweet smile on your lips. He recognised that it was not genuine. He had seen you smile so many times that he could tell you were trying so hard not to frown at him.

“Please tell me. Are you happy?”

That was the only concern in his mind right now. He could not care less that you found someone else to love. You deserved every good thing in this world. You deserved to be loved. You deserved to be happy.

“I’m happy, Jake.”

This time, you gave him a genuine smile. His heart fluttered when you smiled, and he nodded. He knew your boyfriend was going to be there soon and he did not want to bother you. He had his chance, and he blew it. He was not going to ruin it for you.

“That’s all I need to know. You deserve all the happiness in the world, cariño.”

With a bruised heart, he walked away from you, letting you go for real this time. He could hear Marc and Steven disagreeing with what he did, believing that they still had the opportunity to fix the damage they had caused to your precious heart. But Jake knew you better than they could ever do, and he knew he was doing the right thing by letting you go.

Despite of his acceptance, Jake was still fuming with resentment. He loved you, and now he had lost you because of Marc and Steven. For a year, he had been holding back, not wanting to blame his alters no matter how much he wanted to. But now that he saw another man was making you happy, the way he did before if not more, he was letting it all out.

“Both of you ruined our life. You made her leave. You did this to us.”

Jake let his heart be blinded by love, and his mind be clouded by rage. Nothing they say could change his mind as he was getting out of control. You made him realise that he had a heart, but now you had taken it along with you, leaving his chest with a void that only you could fill. His anger sunk deeper, gripping like claws, embedding so deep that he doubted the scars would ever heal.

He had let Marc and Steven decide for him for far too long now, ending up destroying the only good thing he had to hold on to. The only person he had his eyes on. The only love he wanted to have. Not anymore.

It was his turn to orchestrate their life now, and he chose guns and blood, the way it was before you. Needless to say, Marc and Steven were not going to get the body in a very, very long time.

.•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•.

taglist for glimpse of us part two: @brekkers-desigirl @whosethatgurlitsjess @golddustswoman @aestheticpisces @suchahautemess @spicydonut25 @jupitersmoon167 @lana-isabelle @rosaren2498 @n0ripeaches @unspokenmoon @mccn-bcys @rmoonstoner @guiltofpleasures @bxmxtx @timeless-crow @harrys-tittie @enter-clever-and-witty-url-here @outlawedmando @ahoytherebean @rellasnowheenim @pascalsism @lovelyladymayyy @galeroseb @nixonvandelheim @itsmadamehydra @zelspktr @pri00r @ninebluehearts @in-between-the-cafes @carlanee2000 @dyxshit @hypnoinstaxartcloud @kestrel2001 @iamlost @constanza1000 @manicchii @urforevermore @strangespinapple @justyourwritter69 @killerninjaapanda @justyourlocals1mp @alexisabirdie @llvcy @8hgel @lluckpng @imhereforoscarisaac @glimpseoff @lovely-pineapples @jade-sucker-for-steven @memoirsofxangel @noodle81937 @snacswell @potatodaddy @justsumtuffstuff

i tagged the people who commented on the previous part. please message me if you want to be removed. thanks!

2K notes · View notes

anakinsittinginsand · 2 years

Text

Glimpse of Us

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: you love all three of them equally, not knowing only one of them truly loves you just as much

word count: 2.8k

warning (s): this is heavily inspired by glimpse of us by joji. that’s the warning

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Marc stared across the room at you, someone who he once thought he loved. He tried telling himself that he still loved you, but then he questioned himself if he ever did love you, or perhaps he was just seeing you as someone who could love him unconditionally.

You came when he was at the lowest point in his life, and you had given him your hand, helping him up. You loved him with all of your heart, dealing with his demons and fighting against his nightmares. And yet, Marc realised now that as much as he wanted to love you, his heart was still hers, and not yours.

He thought he was ready to move on after Layla, but he was wrong. He wished he would have realised it earlier, at least he would not be involving you in his mess of a heart, but now you were seeing him in your future, and Marc did not want to hurt you.

He forced a smile when you came and pressed a kiss on his head, something which he has grown accustomed to, but now he could not help but feel irritated at the contact. Marc clenched his jaw, hoping that you could not see how distant he was getting with you.

You loved him too much to see it.

“I have to leave for work now. But I’ll see you tonight, right?”

You asked, and Marc saw how hesitant you were. Of course, you always remembered the date night that you would have with him every week. Marc has stood you up for two weeks straight, wallowing himself in devastation as he thought you did not deserve to be treated like this.

But still, when he said he was tired and had forgotten, you just nodded and told him that it was fine, and you would start planning for the next date night to make him feel better.

You loved him too much to realise that he was tired of you.

Marc used to think he loved it when you rambled about something you were passionate about, with the gleam in your eyes and the smile which reached your eyes. He thought he adored it when you would learn to cook his favourite food, when you did not even love cooking. He used to feel like the luckiest man alive when you would listen to his past, swearing to him that you would always be there for him.

Now he was getting tired of you, but he also did not want to lose you, the only anchor to his sanity.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t think I can see you tonight.”

He saw your smile dropped, and he also saw how quickly you pulled yourself together, not wanting to make him feel bad about it, when he should. Marc realised that he was the one who kept throwing lies, but you always tried to make him feel like he was the better half in the relationship. With tears in your eyes, you gave him a nod, and a half-hearted smile.

“It’s alright. If you have anything to talk about, you know you can talk to me.”

Worry was dripping from your voice, and Marc could not help but smiled at you. It was one of the reasons he did not want to tell you the truth. The truth that he had never loved you as much as you did him, and the truth that he had wished it was her who was smiling at him now instead of you.

If you leave him, he would have no one else to cared for him as much as you did. Not even Layla. He could not tell you the truth. He needed you.

“I love you, Marc.”

“I love you too."

Marc was not the only one who was bathing you in lies. Unbeknownst to you, Steven was hit with a pang of guilt every time he laid his eyes on you. Your sweet Steven, who could make the worst of your days better with just a smile of his, actually was lying through his teeth every time he said he loved you the most.

Yes, he loved you, but he never meant to love you the most. He had her in his heart, and he saw her every time you looked at him. Oh, sometimes he wished he could fight these ugly feelings, so that he would not break your heart, but he could not. He was in love with her.

While Marc was getting distant, Steven was getting closer.

He believed that he had a lot to make up to you, and he planned to do it by showing you how much he cared about you, even if the things he did were only a play pretend. You never saw him as someone who could hurt you, and he was determined to keep it that way.

He never wanted you to leave him.

Steven loved the comfort you had given him, making him feel safe and loved every time he was with you. He knew if you found out that you were not the only one in his heart, you would be dejected and you would not think twice to leave. It was the last thing he wanted to happen.

Thus Steven savoured every moment he had with you, trying his hardest not to think of her when he was with you. Marc might have come to accept that he would always think of her, but not Steven. The guilt was too heavy for him to carry, and so he spent his time pretending to love you, hoping that one day he would wake up with genuine love for you.

“Thank you for today, Steven. I had a really good time.”

He let you intertwined your fingers with his, as both of you walked home from the art gallery. You had talked about it for a few times, and Steven thought you would be over the moon if he brought you there for a date. He was right.

“I had a really good time too. But maybe because I’m with you.”

A shy smile grew on your face at his words, and Steven grinned, pride swelled in his chest when he managed to make you so happy with his presence. A tinge of guilt was still hanging above his head, but he chose to ignore it.

“I always have a good time with you, Steven.”

Your words were so sweet and genuine, that tears started to pool in his eyes. He was beginning to see how wrong this whole thing was. He kept making you think that you were the apple of his eye, and you looked at him as if he hung the moon for you when all he ever did was trying to love you.

He should not be doing this to you.

But when you held on tighter on his arm, almost putting yourself behind him when a stranger was watching you— Steven knew he had to keep you safe with him. He was going to protect you, and he could only do that if you were with him.

He knew you deserved to be with someone who truly loved you, but what if that someone hurt you? At least with him, you would not be hurt. Steven would always make sure that you had a smile on your face, and he was sure that he could never make you cry. You said so yourself, that Steven could never be the reason behind your tears.

Steven was going to show you how loved you were, and he promised himself he would never shatter your precious heart. He would do it all for you because he loved you, it was just he loved her more and you had to stay second to her in everything.

But you did not need to know that.

And so he lied, hoping that you would feel his love for you. Even if it was not enough.

“I love you.”

It was always enough for you.

“I love you too, Steven.”

Jake hated this whole ordeal. He saw how badly Marc was treating you, with his missing dates and his lame excuses. He also despised the way you looked at Steven as if he was your soulmate, when he had another woman in his head every time he tried to think of the one he loved.

Marc and Steven were being cruel and unfair to you, and Jake loathed them for taking you for granted when you were the best thing that ever happened to them. They would never find anyone who could love them as much as you did.

“Jake!”

A smile found its way on his face, when you walked in, only to realise that he was fronting. You always managed to make him feel so special and appreciated, with your soft touches and your loving words. He used to feel like he did not deserve your love, but you made sure him understand that you loved him so much.

“Did you miss me, mi sol?”

You did not even answer him, running into his opened arms and kissing him with so much love that he might fall on the floor if he was not holding you. You caressed his face gently, staring at him as if you were afraid that he might disappear into the thin air.

“I missed you so much.”

He said, knowing that you needed to hear it from him. When you buried your face in his chest, he only wrapped his arms around you tighter, resting his chin on your head. He wanted to stay that way with you forever if he could. He wanted it to be just you and him, and no one else could take you away from him.

Jake was so in love with you.

He loved you so much that it angered him every time he was reminded of Marc and Steven with their deceitful affection. He did not know how could they had somebody else to love, when you were there, loving them endlessly. You were always enough for Jake, and he never wanted it to change.

He could still remember when the weight of the world was bringing him down to his knees, you were there. Your heart broke when he got hurt, and back then he could not understand why. No one had ever cared for him before. He had chased you away, asking you to leave him alone but you stayed.

You stayed with him when he was soaking your shirt with his tears. You held him when he could not find the words to tell you what was wrong with him. You loved him when he felt like he was undeserving of such affection. With you, his life was not all about guns and blood, and finally he found a purpose.

Jake fell in love with you, and he never stopped falling.

You saw the world in rose coloured glass, and at first it baffled you so much when Jake was so harsh and mean towards everyone but you. He never smiled at anyone else, and no one had ever heard him laugh except you. A mocking grin or a bitter chuckle? Those were reserved for everyone else, but you. You only deserved to see his genuine smile and hear his hearty laughter.

“Why are you so mean to them?”

You had asked him once, and Jake just wanted to pull you close and kiss you. But you were pouting, and as much as he thought it was cute, he loved your smile more.

“I’m mean to them because they’re not you, mi corazón.”

The smile you had given him that day was the prettiest he had ever seen, and he kissed you, again and again to remind you of how special you were to him. His world revolved around you now.

He loved it when you kissed his nose, a giggle escaped your lips when he scrunched his nose. He loved it when you tickled him to wake him up, only to learn that he was not ticklish and he had tickled you back as a revenge. He loved it when you put your head on his chest, claiming that his heartbeat calmed you down.

He loved everything you did and said. He truly loved you.

Jake watched with an amused smile as you dropped your shopping bag on the counter. You could do something as simple as sorting out groceries, and he could fall in love with you all over again. Every day he found a new reason to love you even more than he already did.

“Do you need help?”

You shook your head, but still, he made his way to you. He could not stay away from you much longer or he would suffer. He helped you sorting the groceries, glancing at you once in awhile, like a fool in love he was. His eyes landed on the tubs of ice cream you had bought.

“I bought your favourite ice cream!”

You had seen him noticing the ice cream, and Jake felt warmth wrapped around his heart at the thoughtful gesture. You could see anything that reminded you of him, and you would buy it within a heartbeat. It was a way of showing your love.

But then his heart felt heavy, seeing another two tubs of ice cream which clearly were meant for Steven and Marc. All of them loved different flavours of ice cream, and you were well aware of that. You always remembered them.

His heart was aching, not from jealousy, no. It was from the way you were so in love with him. The way you were so in love with Marc, and Steven. You trusted them with your life, loving them with all of your heart, not knowing that only one of them truly reciprocate your feelings.

Jake felt like he was responsible for the lies both Marc and Steven were spluttering on you, even if he was not. He felt like he should tell you the truth because you deserved to know the truth. It would send you into a pit of agony, but at least you would not be lied to anymore.

“I think you should come with me next time, and maybe you can stop me from buying so much snacks.”

Jake watched as you laughed, trying to get all of the snacks you bought out of the shopping bag. He could only give you a soft smile, and he felt like he was going to cry when you returned his smile. You did not know how saddened he was, to think that one day you would discover the truth, and you would leave him.

He believed that if he told you the truth about Marc and Steven, you would pack your things and leave. He did not know how to stop you, because when you looked at him, you could also see Marc and Steven. You would leave him in a forlorn state, as Jake had forgotten how to live without you.

So he swallowed the lump in his throat, and buried the guilt in the back of his mind. He could not tell you the truth about Marc and Steven’s fading feelings for you.

He was too in love with you to let you go.

It might be selfish of him, but he found himself pulling you into his arms, as the thought of you leaving him was starting to make him feel sick. If you leave, Marc would lose his mind, Steven would lose his comfort, and Jake— He would lose you, the love of his life.

He would never let it happen.

So he just held you in his arms, showering your face in kisses and smiling when he heard your sweet laughter. You were in love with him, and he was in love with you. That was enough. For a moment, Jake could forget about what he knew and just focused on you, the person who owned his heart and soul.

“I love you, Jake.”

Your declaration of love always sound so sweet and nectarous for him. Those words could mean nothing to the other two men, but Jake lived for your every word. He moved his hands from your hips to your face, resting his forehead against yours, never once did he look away from your loving eyes.

You had been fed with too many fabricated words of love from Marc and Steven, and Jake was not going to add on them. He was going to make sure you know and feel how in love he was with you, and that you could plunge a knife through his chest and he would let you.

“I love you too.”

You smiled, just like how you smiled at Marc and Steven when they said those words to you. For a moment, Jake was heartsick. He knew his words meant more than theirs, but you did not know that. You were in love with all of them, and if keeping you in the dark about Marc and Steven meant that Jake could love you forever, then he would have to do it.

“I love you so much, princesa.”

2K notes · View notes