just a reminder:

Ruined*

"Wow! You've lost so much weight, what's your secret??"

Seeing my best friend is one of my biggest triggers.

I am leaving for college, and nobody can make sure i’m eating.

I am so fucking excited, I leave next friday in the morning to go to college two hours away! The best part is, nobody is there to make sure i’m eating, I don’t HAVE to use my meal plan, i’m way too anxious to go to the dining halls anyways. It’s a giant campus also and I’m a double major taking a loooot of classes that are all in different buildings so that means lots of walking. This is my perfect opportunity to finally get skinny.

You are fire underneath my skin. You sizzle and pop and you char my bones, you make my blood boil until it evaporates inside of me. My finger tips become flames, all the things I reach for to get you off mind burn up in my grasp and crumble up.

I remember that there cannot be fire under my skin, and that you cannot hurt me if you aren’t there. But the thought you won’t ever be there again ignites the flame.

You are the fire that continues to melt me under my skin. It is a one sided relationship where you are not there, and all I can is burn.

Ahhh I really hate that this shit is coming back but I don’t ever want to eat again. This eating disorder is going to kill me.

Fat shadows

When I look at my body it makes me want to cry. Despite a growling stomach and an active day at work, I just feel fat. I put on my comfy pj pants and a giant hoodie in attempts to cover up all of me. I look in the mirror, and I feel like I fill out my hoodie and pants, I feel like the pj’s are invisible and you can see every inch of fat underneath them. I shower in the dark just so I don’t have to see myself, now I can’t even catch a glimpse of what I look like in the mirror without hating myself. God even my shadow has become a trigger. I can’t look at my body anymore. I can’t put anything else in it... I feel so fat.

“You said you liked storms, so I let you in. Turns out you only like a little rain, and I am a hurricane.”

— Unknown

The guy I’ve had a crush on for 3 years goes “I mean you’re a little overweight but it’s not bad, like you’re nice to look at”. Please excuse me while I cry. I was actually doing ok with self confidence and then he said that and it is all i can think about. All I see is fat. That’s all I see.

I'd quite like to kms.

Ok listen up bitches.

I’m boutta curse all you motherfuckers. 

You’re all doomed to lose so much weight that your favourite clothes don’t fit anymore. 

You’re gonna have to go out and spend a bunch of money on new clothes.

Likes charge, reblogs cast.

I'm a little shook that I'm still fat after last nights cry marathon, but whatever ig

guess who’s back on their bullshit

it’s me, i’m back on my bullshit

Chubby

My boyfriend said I'm chubby, so I'm going to starve. Because that's the logical thing to do.

Edit: holy shit y'all are something else thanks for 400 notes ❤

Update: I DUMPED HIM Y'ALL

Ma chérie

My honey doesn't know when he says something that makes my brain turn on me and bring out an evil voice that tells me to starve...

My honey is the only one that makes that voice go away but can also bring it back so easy.... ma chérie, vous me tuez.

Watch me cross out that weight and write my UGW and then disappear again

Sad but true.