Girl Black girl Mixed girl Native girl Never White girl that's half white Pretty girl "What are you?" -The question that follows me and clings to me like a toddler to his mother. -The eyes that ogle me like I'm the result of some failed lab experiment. "Is that your real hair?" -The question that only furthers the feelings of my inadequacy and stands proudly on the idealism of the "white girl." "Did you know you're white washed?" -The question that suggests that to be my color I should act "my color" right? I should think tan sand, or speak c-8 or be medium deep, or whatever shade the next brand of make up tells me is the label I should embody. No- What is my color. How do I act "my color". How do I speak "my color". How do I think "my color". Well I don't apparently. Because apparently I'm "pretty for a black girl" -The sentence that plays over and over in my head. The "compliment" that stares me back in the mirror. The song I brush my teeth to. The answer to the question of why I apply make up and the hand that selects my outfits. Pretty...What is the definition of "pretty?" Pretty is to be "attractive in a delicate way". In so delicate of a way, pretty doesn't fight back. Pretty doesn't forsake your compliment drenched with prejudice. Pretty doesn't stand up and fight. Pretty is much too delicate for that. Pretty nods. Pretty clings to the belittlement. Pretty says thank you. But "pretty" is getting pretty old. Pretty for a black girl For a black girl. Like being black isn't something pretty. Like God himself didn't paint the night sky shades even darker than the melanin in our skin. Like being "dark as the night" doesn't mean you're also as beautiful as the night as well. Pretty. For a black girl? A compliment wrapped in a slam is the best you can do. Like my genetics are an archer that pulled back the bow, shot and came so close. Like the best I'll ever have is just missing the mark. Don't put me in your box shaped by narrow minded pre-conceptualists that will never know me. That will never know that what I am is strong. I am strong to be alienated and segregated from ideal and still be kind. I am patient to stand by and listen to all of the presuppositions about me and politely answer, "no I don't like kool aid, no my dad didn't leave, no fried chicken gives me a stomach ache, and NO I can not "twerk". And still smile. I am meek to smile when you reach up to pet me like a dog because you've "never touched a black girls hair before." I am strong. I am strong to not cry when you call me white washed because you've just reduced my entire races intelligence with one derogatory sentence. I am not "white washed". I am literate. Surprise a nigger can read. Surprise I've read Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment. Surprise I've read Tolstoy's War and Peace. Surprise I've read Plato's Apology. I'm more than just "pretty for a black girl". Surprise.
Don’t study because you need to. Study because knowledge is power. Study because they can never take it away from you. Study because you want to know more. Study because it enhances you. Study because it grows you.