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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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Masterlist
All stories and monster matches will be on my Ao3 page in case things with tumblr go even further south. I also have a Masterlist for the Monster Matches, and if anyone is interested in commissioning me, here’s some info.
Riaghan the Kelpie/Female Reader, Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw), art by me 
Kalil the Naga/Female Reader (nsfw), art by me, art by illustrariane
Adham the Infected/Female Reader (nsfw)
Ciarán the High Fae/Female Reader (nsfw), art by me
Alesdair the Changeling/Female Reader, Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw)
Noor the Siren/Gender Neutral Reader (sfw)
Sela the High Fae (wlw) (sfw), art by me, art by thatweirdoneintheback
Mark the Selkie (sfw)
The Nøkken, Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw- female reader)
Aleksander the Naga, Part One (sfw) Ten Word Ko-Fi Drabble (sfw)
Hikaru the Kitsune/Female Reader, Part One (slight nsfw), Part Two (nsfw)
Winter, Chapter One (sfw), Chapter Two (sfw), Chapter Three (sfw), Chapter Four (sfw), Chapter Five (sfw), Chapter Six (nsfw- female reader), Chapter Seven (sfw), art by lukeios, art by puddimilk 
Winter Ficlets: Fantasies (nsfw), Adoration (sfw), Morphine (sfw), Poison (sfw)
Tisiphone the Erinyes (wlw) (sfw), art by me
Alien Android/Female Reader (nsfw)
Merikh the Incubus, Part One (nsfw- female reader) Part Two (sfw)
Raúl the Centaur (sfw), art by thatweirdoneintheback
Eòin the Kelpie (sfw)
Fylkir the Selkie, Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw- female reader)
The Spring Sacrament (nsfw- gender neutral reader)
Ronan and Sally’s Story (not a reader insert), Chapter One (sfw), Chapter Two (sfw)
Nayda the Selkie (wlw) (sfw)
Intertwined (wlw) (sfw) (not a reader insert)
Yavid the Demon (sfw)
August the Infected (mlm) (sfw)
Savannah and Remembrance (not a reader insert) (sfw)
The Mad Prince, Chapter One (sfw), Chapter Two (sfw), Chapter Three (sfw), Chapter Four (sfw), Chapter Five (sfw), Chapter Six (sfw), Chapter Seven (sfw), Chapter Eight (sfw), Chapter Nine (sfw), Chapter Ten (sfw), Chapter Eleven (sfw), Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen (nsfw-ish), Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen (tba)
The Mad Prince fanart (all sfw): art by me, art by lukeios, art also by lukeios, art by thatweirdoneintheback, art by ghoullin
Barriers (not a reader insert) (sfw)
Kanoa the Shark Merfolk (sfw)
Secretary to the Prince (sfw)
Sarakh the Gallu Demon (sfw)
That Which is Written in Stone, Chapter One (sfw), Chapter Two (sfw), Chapter Three (tba)
Xarrak the Orc (sfw)
Úlfa the Orc (wlw) (sfw) 
Ryota the Kitsune (sfw), Chapter 2 (nsfw)
Starfall (not a read insert), Chapter One (sfw), Chapter Two (tbh)
Tadao the Kitsune. x Female Reader (slight nsfw)
Ihsan the Naga x Female Reader (nsfw)
Enoch the Troll (sfw)
Fiore the Genderfluid Kelpie (sfw) 
Abel the Asrai/Female Reader (slight nsfw), Chapter Two (very nsfw)
Caspian the Mershark/Female Reader (nsfw)
Bat Monster/Reader (sfw)
Werewolf/Reader (nsfw)
Potamoi (Greek River God)/Reader (sfw)
Avery the Fae/Female Reader (nsfw)
The Merchant Prince, Chapter 1 (nsfw), Chapter 2 (nsfw), Chapter 3 (sfw), Chapter 4 (nsfw), Chapter 5 (nsfw)
Unamed Horny Rope Bunny Fae (nsfw)
Unamed Merman (sfw)
Vasily the Raksha (sfw)
Changling (sfw)
Aurel Kane the Elf (sfw)
Torin the Keplie (sfw…. for now)
Cadán the Fae (nsfw)
Unamed God (sfw)
Jameson the Fae (sfw)
Eldritch Abomination (Sfw)
Meikha the Peacock-like Alien (sfw)
Unknown Male Species (slight nsfw)
He’s just some guy tbh (nsfw)
Unhinged Bisexual Ruination of Classic Media:
Bates
Erin
Jahzeiah
Theo
Pride Month Prompts:
Fiona the Kelpie (wlw) (sfw)
Medeia the Forest Spirit (wlw) (sfw)
Bill Cassidy the Werewolf (trans mlm) (sfw)
Sora the Yuki Onna (wlw) (sfw)
Kinktober Prompts:
Autumn Fae/Consensual Somnophila (nsfw- female reader)
Vampire/Biting (nsfw- female reader)
Naga King/Praise Kink (nsfw-female reader)
Dark Elf/Orgasm Denial (nsfw- female reader)
Harpy/Doting (nsfw- female reader), art by me, and here’s a prequel 
Demon/Pegging (nsfw- female reader)
Kelpie/Outdoor Sex (nsfw- female reader)
Vampire/Rimming (nsfw- non gendered reader)
Fae/Dry Humping (nsfw, female reader)
Naga/Semi Public Sex (nsfw female reader)
Do you like what you’re reading? Please consider leaving me a tip with Ko-Fi!
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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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Neil Gaiman Tumblr FAQ: Good Omens
Tumblr questions that Neil Gaiman has already answered. A collection of Asks from Neil's blog (@neil-gaiman).
Good Omens FAQ Links: Main / Season 1 Doc Season 2 Doc Index of All Other FAQ Parts
This FAQ covers questions for the full content of both the book and TV series. There are spoilers. Please check this before messaging me: OrpiKnight's FAQ FAQ
*This post has been edited since the original.
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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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didnt know how much i wanted a campaign of brennan playing a single mother and siobhan a little reckless child until now
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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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"i don't know what life that would be if i couldn't say your name" jasper william cartwright invented romance with that sentence alone
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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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I'm sorry that you failed. I won't.
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aliciaihmansblog · 1 month
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“because i came to you, in the winter. i came to you when he was gone, and i had no idea what to do. i said, ‘geoffrey’s dead, i found him in the snow by the meadow.’ you remember what you said to me?”
“i said you should have been there with him.”
or: the stupendous stoats have been breaking my little heart something fierce, thank you @quiddie and @dimension20official for this gift
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aliciaihmansblog · 2 months
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Male ooze x reader (sfw)
Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
Meet Tokis, a non-verbal ooze, and his reader. This was the drabble inspired by Texas anon’s comment about a monster going to the dentist. Hope you like it! 
_____________________
“Buddy, come on, it won’t be that bad!”
He shook his head, the black ooze of his body glistening in the sunlight outside the dentist’s.
“Come on, I’ll be with you the whole time. You never know, the assistant might be really cute?!”
Again, he shook his head, and even took a step back.  
You sighed. “Look, we’ve been best friends for years and until today I didn’t even know you had a mouth, let alone teeth that needed filling,” you laughed. “Come on,” you added more gently, taking his black, glistening hand.
He signed something with trembling fingers, and you snorted a laugh.
“Yeah, I’ll even take you out to that new whisky bar on North Street when you’re better if you go through with it.”
When your best friend approached the reception counter, he was shaking. The faun working behind the desk set the phone down with an exasperated sigh and barely gave herself time to run her fingers through her long, wildly curly, brown hair before looking up. When she saw the ooze standing there looking like he was about to collapse into a dollop of tar, she simply offered him a sweet smile. “Name?” she asked.
He looked over his shoulder at you and you spoke up for him, as not everyone understood Sign, and he preferred it when you interpreted for him. It had been that way since the first day you’d been assigned to him in school for that very purpose. “Tokis,” you said. “He’s got an appointment at ten with Dr. Kirkwood for a root canal.”
“Alright,” she smiled. “Head on up to the first floor and take a seat in the waiting room there. She’s running on time today, so you won’t have long to wait.”
“Perfect,” Tokis signed at you as you turned away from the desk to go upstairs, his whole body expressing the deepest sarcasm.
Keep reading
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aliciaihmansblog · 2 months
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Male dremora x female character - Part Eight (sfw)
Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere.
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Whuff, I’m so sorry that this took me so long to type up and edit, and a HUGE thank you to the people who sponsored this back in August (!). I’m so sorry I kept you waiting for so long, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Content: grief, dealing with a will, mention of loss of parents, passing mention of a side character losing a daughter, some mystery and a new character, and a big cinnamon roll to take care of things afterwards.
(Map of Gisela’s cabin location at the end of the chapter)
Catch up here:
Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw), Part Seven (sfw)
Art for dremora boy can be found here
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Alys shouldered open the heavy door of the jarl’s longhouse and left the misty autumn day behind for the relative warmth and shelter of the central hearth beyond.
Beneath the leering, bare skull of a deer that stared out along the length of the hall, Jarl Sidgeir lounged on his wooden throne, indolent and idle as usual.
From a shadowed doorway on the left though, his attentive steward emerged to see who had entered the hall, and why. Nenya, a tall, honey-skinned Altmer with a strikingly beautiful face and kind, amber eyes gasped softly when she saw Alys. “Child,” she said in her rich, warm voice, as she hurried over to her. “You’re here! We had begun to worry that something awful had happened to you on the road. Are you well? Have you eaten today?”
The generosity in her tone moved Alys almost to tears, but she bit them back and nodded. “I’m well. I — I came to see about Aunt Gisela’s will and to… to collect her… her key from Runil.”
“Of course,” the steward nodded. “Come, let us see if Legate Skulnar will allow us the use of his room for a moment of privacy. Her affairs were not complicated, but you will want to take your time reading through some of it.”
When Alys frowned a little, Nenya just smiled, so she followed the elf into the room she had only just vacated, and hung back as Nenya spoke with the rough-hewn hulk of a man in Imperial armour who stood over a map of the provinces of Skyrim behind a large table. His room served as a kind of logistics and meeting room for the jarl and his retinue, and as such it was utilitarian and unwelcoming, but it was more private than the open expanse of the echoing hall behind her.
Legate Skulnar looked like the kind of brute who would enjoy driving the small wooden pins that marked the loyalties of each stronghold right through the map and into the wood of the table beneath, but he let them make brief use of his war room easily enough.
Amid the training dummies and barrels in his room, Alys waited while Nenya fetched the documents from her own safe on the floor above, and she tried not to cry again. Reading the will made it all too real.
Keep reading
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aliciaihmansblog · 2 months
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Male kelpie (dad-bod, single father, biker) x plus size f. reader - Part One (sfw)
Background info post on the Full Moon Motorcycles group here Oats Appreciation post here
Featuring a plus-size, bisexual, not very confident reader, and a divorced, Scottish, single-dad, biker kelpie with a soft-dad bod and a heart as big as his bike’s engine (possibly bigger).
CW: there is a very brief moment where a character (not Oats!) insults the reader for her size and uses some fat-phobic language towards and about her, unaware that she can hear him. If you’re sensitive to that, it is brief, but you can skip from “…you caught the conversation drifting over from the other guys who’d arrived just ahead of you.” to the paragraph beginning, “After some deep breaths and a check in the mirror…”. Also, if you squint, there’s a passing moment that could possibly be interpreted as the reader having some potential issues with food, but it’s not intended to be a big deal and it’s only for about two sentences. Still putting it in here too, just in case. 
Wordcount: 7562
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You pushed open the glass door of Full Moon Motorcycles and willed yourself not to feel self-conscious or out of place.
Having both an older brother and a mother who rode motorbikes had at least given you a fair bit of familiarity with bikes and the general ‘biker culture’, but it was mostly the fact that almost all the ‘biker girls’ you saw posing on social media were slim and toned, which you were decidedly not.
From the utterly foetid takes in the comments section of the one post your brother had shared on his page with you in it, you’d also got the impression that the biker community was not particularly kind to any woman with a waist over 25 inches. It probably wasn’t the case, but your one experience with it had been enough to make you very wary.
And yet, as you made your way towards the bike shop’s counter and the older man with floppy, greying hair and warm brown eyes looked up, you were greeted with an open, welcoming smile.
“Hi there,” he said, standing up with a grunt from the comfy chair where he’d been sitting in the corner near the shop’s antique cash register. “What can I do for you?”
You smiled shyly and glanced along the wooden countertop before returning your gaze to him. “I’m looking for a present for my brother, but I’m kind of on a budget…”
“Gotcha. We’ve got some silly key fobs there,” he said, indicating a rotating display rack at one end of the counter, with mottoes that ranged from funny to explicit, “But if they like working on their bike themselves, you can’t go wrong with some maintenance supplies… Not the most glamorous but I promise they’ll be grateful to you all the same.”
“Could always tie a festive ribbon round it,” you said, and he chuckled and nodded.
“That’s the spirit.”
You eyed the reasonable price of the fobs with some relief, and then followed his gesture towards the various bottles of chain degreaser and the like, and a few other useful tools and kits that were stacked on shelves on the back wall to the right of a door that presumably led into the back and store rooms.
The right hand side of the shop had the counter and some shiny, new bikes that had been parked in a row around the perimeter of the space, and the left hand side was more open with a bench or two against the brick walls, and some red, mechanics’ tool-chests tucked against the back wall. A number of leather two- and one-piece suits hung in racks at the furthest end though, with helmets on shelves and a few rows of t-shirts, jeans, gloves, and boots displayed too. There were oil stains in the centre of the polished concrete floor, and you suspected that tinkering took place there outside of the shop’s usual opening hours.
The whole vibe of Full Moon Motorcycles was friendly and cosy, with a slightly industrial, grungy note for some flavour.
In short, you loved it.
“There are also some fun helmet covers –” the older man chuckled, and added, “A number of the regulars here have them, and there are also some earplugs, or perhaps a tough phone case and mount? A chain care kit? There are some vinyl stickers too, and t-shirts, socks, neck warmers, balaclavas, mugs, helmet care kits, thermals…”
Laughing, you held up your hands for him to stop, and he started to chuckle too.
“I’ll let you browse in peace, sweetheart,” he said, his whisky brown eyes twinkling. Even his un-looked-for endearment came across as kindly instead of creepy, and not many men could pull that off. “You just holler if you have questions and I’ll be happy to –”
The door opened behind you and he broke off as his attention was snagged by the arrival of a heavy-set guy in dark jeans and a softly-worn, black leather jacket. He held a black helmet with a tinted visor in his large hands, and he looked more than a little wind-blown and rumpled.
Incongruous with his rather roguish-dishevelment, a lock of his long, thick, slightly grizzled, black hair was held back by a little hair-clip with a Barbie-pink, fabric bow. It didn’t fit with the dark scruff of stubble on his jaw or the piercing green-blue eyes at all, but he seemed completely unfazed by its presence.
“Oats!” the older man exclaimed with obvious joy, clapping his hands. “It’s been a while, my boy! How was the trip to Scotland? You make it round the NC500 this time?”
The ‘boy’ looked to be in his mid to late thirties…
“Ach, no’ a chance this time, Hank,” the man chuckled with a heavy, Scottish accent lacing his rich, rough baritone. Exactly where in Scotland he was from, you couldn’t tell, but it was lyrical and attractive all the same.
“Ah, next time, next time. And is Natalie well?
“Oh aye, my wee Loch Ness Monster is doing just fine. She’ll be terrorising her mother for the Christmas holidays. I came straight from the road though — clutch started playing up just south of Birmingham.” He grimaced, but even that looked charming somehow. “Sort of hoped you might find a minute to take a look at it for me if I left the Old Girl here. No rush though.”
“No problem, Oats. We’ll get her running properly again in no time. Bet you’re missing little Natalie already,” Hank added sympathetically.
“Ah, you have no idea,” the man, peculiarly-named ‘Oats’, sighed ruefully, shaking his head.
“See she left you with a parting gift though,” Hank snorted, pointing at the bow hair clip.
With a slight frown to his dark eyebrows, Oats reached up and patted at his head until he found it, and then he laughed. It was a loud, delighted, full-bellied sound that reverberated through the space while it lasted, and he left the hair clip where it was with no trace of self-consciousness as he lowered his hand again. “Aye, that she did. Surprised it survived the journey down with my lid on and everything. Oh –” His unusually pale green eyes landed on you, watching him and lurking near the rows of t-shirts on the back wall, and he went still.
Those sea-grey eyes raked you up and down, clearly noting the way your black leggings clung to the curves of your thighs and hips, and the black hoodie, which maybe went some way to hiding the softness of your stomach a bit, and he swallowed visibly. He looked… hungry. That was not the usual reaction you had grown accustomed to from men, and you let the flare of heat lick up your insides for just a moment, daring to hope that maybe he did find you attractive.
“Sorry,” he said in your direction, with a soft, dusky smile. “Didnae mean t’interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” you managed to croak back at him before returning your attention, however reluctantly, to present options for your brother while the older man, Hank, hobbled out around the corner of the wooden counter to chat amicably with the man. You couldn’t hear what was said as the two chatted in lower voices, but it was evident that they were good friends. While they talked, however, you couldn’t help noticing that he stole occasional sidelong glances in your direction, and you felt your face warm pleasantly.
‘Oats’ was certainly an unusual nickname, but then again, almost everyone who rode with your brother also had their own nicknames for one reason or another. As you browsed, you wondered what Oats had done to earn that one. He certainly looked like a snack to you, but you vowed not to let your attraction to the stranger show. Awkward situations (or worse, silences) tended to arise when you let that happen.
He had a tanned, outdoorsy complexion, and longish, black hair that was tied back in a low ponytail that brushed below the collar of his black leather jacket. It looked like it had a tendency to flop into his face when not restrained by that out-of-place pink bow. He filled out the jacket very well, and clearly had a soft paunch, and his thighs looked frankly delectable in those thick, indigo jeans. You prayed you wouldn’t have to see him fully from the back if he turned around, to witness the way he filled out the seat of his jeans too.
Fuck. Concentrate.
Bike gifts for brother, not delicious-looking stranger you’re never going to see again.
“Well, I shouldnae hang about, I suppose.”
Oats’ voice cut through your musings in front of chain degreasers and you jumped a little. Glancing back over at him, you offered him a smile when he too turned to look at you one last time, and a slow, charming smile crept onto his handsome face.
“See you,” he said with a dip of his head. Before he strode from the shop though, he let his eyes roam once more down the length of you and he bit his lower lip, almost regretfully, then turned away abruptly.
Oh yes. He absolutely did fill out the ass of those jeans beautifully.
Quite honestly, you weren’t totally sure what you ended up getting your brother for his birthday. You took whatever it was to the counter in a daze, your mind replaying over and over the way he’d looked at you.
“Must say,” Hank said conspiratorially as he fished your change from the antique cash register and slid it across the polished, wooden counter towards you. “I’ve never seen Oats quite so taken with someone, miss.” He chuckled, his kind, whisky-brown eyes glinting. “You take care now.”
Swallowing, you nodded and left the shop, hoping perhaps to find Oats waiting for you outside on the street, leaning against his motorcycle, but life was not a movie, and wherever he was, he was not lingering in the hopes of seeing you. In fact, the street was completely deserted, so you crossed, clambered into your little hatchback, and drove home with the feeling that you’d let a pivotal moment in your life pass you by.
Your sour mood persisted like a raincloud for the whole week, but by the time you were driving over to your brother’s on Saturday for his birthday ride, you were trying to pull yourself out of it. You had your own helmet with you, secured in the back of the car, and beside it was (now wrapped) the present you’d got him. In fact, it was a chain care kit, and, although you hadn’t noticed at the time, Hank had thrown in a free keychain that said ‘In my defence, I was left unsupervised’ which was very on-brand for your brother. You had planned to go back and thank him for the freebie as soon as you could, but your brother’s birthday ride had been planned for that Saturday, and work had been hell that week, so you’d not had the chance.
Predictably, Alex wasn’t in the house when you rang the doorbell, so you followed the sound of metallic clinking and laughter, and went round the side to find him tinkering with his mad little Honda Grom in the garage, while his two best mates — Eggs and Sparky — were lounging around and either making unhelpful suggestions or lewd comments.
“Yo!” Sparky grinned when he saw you, sitting up straighter and almost falling off the mechanic’s tool chest he was leaning his weight against. At Sparky’s exclamation, your brother sat up and banged his head on the handlebars of the short little Grom with a curse.
“Hey,” you mumbled in Sparky’s general direction. “Happy birthday, Alex.”
Alex scrambled upright and came over to hug you, probably smearing grease and dirt all over your armoured jacket, but since it was black anyway, you didn’t mind too much. Alex was about as opposite to you as it was possible to get — straight up and down like a beanpole, and tall. You took after your mother, inheriting all her thick curves and soft edges. Soft heart too.
“Thought this might come in handy,” you mumbled when Alex released you and you held out the brown paper bag stamped with the logo of Full Moon Motorcycles.
His eyes lit up when he saw the logo, and he tore into it like a chipmunk after a peanut, grinning in delight when he’d dismembered it, and in particular he showed off the keychain to his mates. Eggs snatched it and tried to claim it for himself, but Alex was having none of it, and the three of them scrapped and goofed around while you sat down on an old, metal stool in the corner and waited for the other two of your small party to show up, with a cool, curdling kind of dread in the pit of your stomach when you heard one name in particular. Nooner.
Within an hour though, you were all out on the road.
You took the pillion seat behind Alex, and warded his mates off at red lights when they came for his killswitch to immobilise him. A while later though, Alex zoomed off down the open road that would take you all out of town and towards the somewhat famous biker cafe, ‘Elusive Neutral’, that sat nestled amongst the fragrant heather of the rolling hills surrounding the old market town.
The sky was a gorgeous, autumnal blue and the weather was perfect, neither too hot nor too cold, and as your brother’s Yamaha flew along the winding A-road that was every biker’s dream, you cracked a smile and gently tipped your head back. As much as it had scared you when you’d first ridden behind your mother all those years ago, you did love the feeling of being out on a bike. Not that you were actually brave enough to want to try and learn yourself though. Something always held you back, made you wary and unsure, and then you inevitably felt down about that too. God, you wished you had Alex’s wild confidence.
Nothing good ever seemed to last for you though, and when Alex’s R1 had purred into the car park behind Eggs and Sparky, and you’d hopped off to let him reverse more easily into a space, you caught the conversation drifting over from the other guys who’d arrived just ahead of you.
“…if he didn’t have his fat sister with him, we could have fucking ripped it up along those twisties.” That, of course, had come from Nooner, named for the fact that he rarely stuck to two wheels and always pulled wheelies, or ‘nones’, whenever he got the chance. Out of all of your brother’s friends, he was the one you liked the least, for… obvious reasons.
“Talk about killing the vibes, huh?” Eggs replied, trying to suck up to him, as ever. “More like ‘crushing’!”
The reason Eggs had earned his nickname was that he’d lost a bet and shaved his head when they’d all been about sixteen, and he’d looked like a boiled egg til it grew back. You wished you had the sass to remind him of that every time his spine seemed to crumble in favour of earning a half-hearted snicker out of Nooner.
When Alex joined you, he caught the crestfallen expression on your face and frowned, but you shook your head and walked away from them, heading for the cafe alone.
“Can’t wait to shove some cake in her fat gob already,” Nooner added as an aside to Eggs, and your vision blurred as tears welled along your lashes. Why did people have to be so cruel? To trample all over someone else just to feel a little taller themselves?
You vaguely heard what sounded like Sparky’s voice countering the comment, but you didn't stick around either way. If you mentioned it to your brother again, he’d just say it was banter with the guys and not to take it to heart. Easy for someone who's never been on the end of that kind of comment to shrug it off, after all.
You ducked straight for the toilets when you got inside the airy, modern cafe, not even bothering to look around or find a table first.
After some deep breaths and a check in the mirror to see that you hadn’t turned your eyeliner into a panda cosplay, you headed out again and made for the little bar that doubled as a counter for people who were there solo to sit and eat instead of taking up a whole table to themselves. None of your brother’s friends joined you, and when you glanced back over your shoulder, you saw that they’d settled themselves around a table in the far corner and already had a number for a server to bring their food order over. They hadn’t even waited for you.
“Fuck them,” you hissed through gritted teeth, taking a seat at the bar instead. The stools were made of old tractor seats, and they were surprisingly comfortable, and as you leaned your forearms on the countertop, the young woman behind the counter came over to you with a smile that made you feel a little better.
“Hey,” she said. “What can I get for you?”
You ordered a hot drink, and then took out your phone while you waited for her to make it for you.
For half an hour or so, you sat scrolling through social media and sipping your drink and telling yourself this was your brother’s day and not yours. He did come over a couple of times, but you declined to sit with his friends, and because he’d never had any real reason to doubt you before, he took you at your word when you told him you were happy enough where you were. “I don’t want to get in the way,” you said, and he believed you.
Patting you on the shoulder, he left you for the third time, and you looked down into the dregs of your drink with a heavy sigh. “This sucks.”
Outside, the sound of more bikes arriving made your ears perk up, and you wondered idly what they rode. Elusive Neutral had once been an old cattle barn, but it had been completely redone and the walls on two sides had been replaced with vast picture windows that showed the sweeping expanse of moorland beyond, and a small sliver of the car park at one end. Craning your neck, you saw a group of maybe five or six bikers draw up, some on hipster looking cafe racers and others on racy sports bikes. There was even a Ducati Panigale among them, and behind them followed an old, battered, blue pickup truck.
The door opened a little while later, and you glanced over, eyes drawn instinctively by the movement.
Above the general chatter and merry chinking of china in the room, the energy of the new group of bikers rose like a cloud of dizzy mayflies; buzzing and excited and full of joy. You watched them all with interest from your perch at the counter.
The first through the door was an absolute Amazon of a woman, with her long black hair restrained in a thick braid, and shoulders the width of a barn door. She was lean and tall, and in her biker gear she looked… incredible. Her face was strikingly handsome, but until she glanced down at the woman walking beside her, her features were hard and glowering and unspeakably stern. She held the door open for one of the others to follow her inside, but when she locked eyes again with the brunette by her side, her whole expression melted into unguarded adoration. Your gut twisted briefly with jealousy.
It wouldn’t matter to you who looked at you like that, if only someone would.
You looked away, and by the time you glanced back at the bikers, the whole group had filed in from outside. There was a guy with golden-brown skin and beautiful dark brown eyes who had his arm wrapped possessively around the waist of a pale, skinny guy in black jeans and a moth-eaten, black jumper, with his long hair tied back in a bun, and behind them came a strikingly attractive guy in a manual wheelchair, flanked by a very short biker with slightly anaemic looking skin. You wondered fleetingly if the guy in the wheelchair had ridden a motorbike there, and if so how, before you realised he was probably the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, with long, flowing red hair and dark green eyes, and the kind of mouth that was made for laughing, and for kissing.
Jesus, was it an unwritten rule of being a biker that you had to be unfairly attractive? Even Hank, who you recognised with a start of surprise coming in behind the guy with red hair, wasn’t unattractive, in a bulky, older man kind of way.
The guy walking with him though… he truly made your stomach swoop.
It was Oats.
You looked away before he could spot you, sitting alone at the bar like some pathetic creature waiting for cocktail hour to begin. It was lunchtime on a sunny, autumnal Saturday though, and there you were sitting alone because you didn’t fancy sitting with your brother’s loser mates.
God, the way Oats had looked in his tough-looking leather jacket, with his eyes crinkled mid-laugh at something the guy in the wheelchair had shot back at them over his shoulder… You bit your lip and stared into the bottom of your cold, empty mug like it would divine some kind of solution to your situation for you.
The new group didn’t seem to notice you while they filed up to the counter, jostling and joking, and when they drifted off to another corner of the cafe, you turned back to your phone, trying desperately to resist the almost overwhelming urge to keep turning over your shoulder to watch them.
Before too long however, you startled at a soft tap on your shoulder, and you looked around to find Oats himself stepping back to a polite distance and smiling down at you like he’d found a treasure in an unexpected place.
“Hey there,” he said in that rolling, Scottish accent that did unspeakably indecent things to your insides. “Sorry if I’m intruding, but you were at Full Moon last week, right?”
Mute for a moment, you nodded, and mustered up a slightly dazed smile for him.
“You… here alone?” he asked, eyeing the currently-empty seats to your left and right. In fact, someone had only just gathered up their belongings and left.
“Kind of?” you croaked, letting your eyes slide over to the table where your brother and his friends were hunched over one of their phones, snickering at something. “It’s… It’s my brother’s birthday today. I… tagged along as pillion, but… you know… I’m kind of a spare part really.”
At that, Oats’ dark eyebrows knitted into a scowl and he looked across the room at them before returning his attention to you. Then, his unearthly, almost prismatic, silver-green eyes took in your empty cup and he grinned. “Can I get y’a top up?”
Your instinct was to refuse, but you bit your lip. This didn’t feel real. A cute, handsome, courteous guy was actually taking an interest in you.
“Sure. Thank you.” And the smile that spread itself across your face telegraphed your delight in a way that was impossible to disguise with any kind of suave grace.
Oats, however, seemed equally delighted, and nodded. The barista came back over and he leaned his weight on the counter to talk to her. He seemed to have that enviably easy manner with everybody, and he even charmed a free slice of cake out of her too with what felt like no effort at all.
“Chocolate? Or something else?” he asked you.
“Pardon?”
“Cake.”
“Oh, no, that’s fine,” you said, but he frowned.
“You sure? I’m gonna have a bit of their chocolate cake. It’s so good, it’s practically a sin.”
“I…” you faltered.
He didn’t pressure you though and shrugged easily, turning back to the barista. “Gimme two forks with that, love. Just in case.”
“No problem,” she beamed back while she bustled about, and Oats eyed the empty bar stool next to yours.
“May I?”
You swallowed your nerves and nodded. “Please.” And then, because apparently a demon of confidence had temporarily possessed you, you eyed his slightly helmet-flattened forelock and said, “No pink hair clips today?”
He guffawed loudly enough that your brother actually glanced over and frowned when he saw you talking with a stranger.
Oats snorted and shook his head. “No, not today. My daughter is still up in Scotland with her mother.” He fixed you with a more serious look and said, “She and I divorced, before you get the wrong idea about me flirting like this with a beautiful woman.”
The compliment caught you so off-guard that you just froze for a moment, but when the heat of a blush filled your face, you looked away and he chuckled.
“I’m not normally so forward, but I’ve been kicking myself for not talking to you when I first saw you in Full Moon. Hank was telling me just this morning what a muppet I’d made of myself for walking away like that.”
You looked behind you at the group of his friends and then turned back to him. “Won’t they think you’re being rude, ignoring them like this?”
He shook his head and smiled. “They’re probably all taking bets on how quickly you’ll shoot me down.”
“What? I’d have to be an idiot to do that.”
At that, his face split into a huge, handsome grin and he shook his head just a little. “Lucky me,” he said. “You ride?” he added, eyeing your jacket that was obviously a motorcycle jacket.
You shrugged. “Pillion. I’ve never ridden myself, but my brother lets me come out with him sometimes.”
Oats nodded, and then, as the barista set down his coffee, your top-up, and the plate of decadent chocolate cake with two forks, he said, “I’m Euan, by the way, but everyone calls me Oats.”
You introduced yourself, and then said, “Oats?”
He snorted and nodded. “Not the worst nickname, for sure.”
“Can I ask where it came from?”
Oats nodded and shunted the plate towards you first before leaning his elbow on the bar and watching you while he spoke. “I think it’s because I’m a dad, but I’m always prepared for most situations, and when it comes to my Natalie, she’s always hungry. I’ve usually got about a thousand granola bars stashed away about my person —” he said, cutting himself off to pat conspicuously at his jacket pockets. Pulling a slightly dog-eared crunchy bar from his breast pocket, he wielded it like a magic wand at you and said, “Case in point.”
“Hence, Oats,” you said, eyeing the healthy brand name on the packet.
“Exactly. Like I said, it could be worse. See the tall lass over there with the dangerous scowl?”
You didn't need to turn around to know which of his friends he was talking about, but you did anyway. “Yeah.”
“We call her Pixie.”
“Do I even want to know?”
“Probably not,” he chuckled, stowing the granola bar back into his pocket and taking a huge scoop of the chocolate cake with his own fork.
“What do you ride then?” you asked.
“Triumph Bonneville T120,” he said with almost exactly the same intonation and fondness as he’d just said ‘because I’m a dad’, and you couldn’t help smiling. “Can’t be doing with all these glitzy sports bikes and the like,” he added with a laugh, setting his fork down and blinking slowly. His lashes, you noticed, were thick and dark and enticingly long.
Laughing, you smiled. “Don’t say that too loudly — my brother rides an R1.”
“Nice,” Oats grinned back. “But nothing could entice me away from my girl.”
“I’m surprised you’re here, flirting with me then,” you said. Evidently that confidence demon was still lurking.
Again, Oats laughed, though it was more of a low whicker this time, and it rolled right through you and lit you up all over. God, how long had it been since someone had laughed like that for you?
“There are… exceptions,” he said in a rumbling murmur. “Tell me about yourself?” he asked, and you did.
You spent the next hour at least talking in an easy back and forth with him while he charmed a few more refills from the barista and a lot of answers out of you, before one of his friends sidled up shyly and waited for a lull in your conversation.
“Sorry to butt in,” the small, unbelievably beautiful woman said. She was the one who’d been on the receiving end of the adoring look from the Amazon, ‘Pixie’. She had chocolate-brown hair falling in thick ringlets around a gorgeous face, and, you were pleased to note, she had wide hips and a softness to her that a lot of the biker chicks you’d seen online didn’t have.
“Coco,” Oats beamed. “Meet my new friend.” He introduced you by name, and Coco smiled at you, holding out her hand.
When your palms connected, you felt a warmth rush through you and you felt like your heart skipped a beat. The feeling like you could tip forwards and drown in her endless, dark brown eyes almost unseated you, but she let go of you and stepped back with a pretty smile on her Cupid’s-bow lips. “Pleasure to meet you. Just wanted to tell Oats that we’re thinking of heading off soon. Ariel has a photoshoot he wants to get to in an hour or so, and Demon’s keen to get going as well.”
Oats nodded, and you tried not to let your stomach drop down to your boots at the thought of all this coming to such an abrupt end.
Coco turned her head sharply to look at you just as the feeling hit, and she smiled faintly. “You could always stay here though, Oats,” she added with a pretty smile. “We’re only going back to Full Moon, and Demon clearly has no intention of lingering there…” She shot a meaningful glance back at their table. Demon, the guy with dark hair and tanned skin, was seated with the guy he’d entered with now draped in his lap, his skinny legs dangling as he sprawled languidly back against the guy’s muscular chest. Demon whispered something into his ear before he clearly bit the shell of his boyfriend’s ear, which made him sit abruptly upright and flush a vibrant pink.
Oats laughed again and shook his head. “Fuck me,” he chuckled privately. “Never thought I’d see the day. You guys go on. I’m… I’m very much content here.”
“I can see that,” Coco smirked, and walked away.
When she was out of earshot, you turned to Oats with a hot flush of your own in your face and said, “Don’t stay if you don’t want to… I’m sure my brother will be leaving soon anyway…”
Just as you said that, and before Oats could reply, Alex reappeared at your side and jutted his chin in Oats’ direction. “You good?” he chirped at you.
“Fine,” you replied. “This is Oats. I met him at Full Moon Motorcycles when I was buying your birthday present.”
“Oh,” Alex replied, holding out his hand for Oats to shake. “Good to meet you, man. You tell her what to get for me? If you did, it was a good choice.”
“No,” Oats said carefully, his grey-green eyes sliding back to your face even while he shook your brother’s hand amicably. “No, whatever she got you, it was all her.”
“Oh, cool,” Alex said. “Listen, sis, we’re gonna hit the road in a while. Nooner and Eggs want to hit the twisties for a bit, but I can’t really do that with a backpack, so Sparky said he’d give you a ride home, if that’s ok.”
You swallowed. “Um…”
“I can give her a lift,” Oats replied after a swift glance in your direction. “She’s already got her own lid, and there’s room on the Bobber’s double seat for both of us.”
“I don’t know, man,” Alex said with a wary frown.
“Your choice,” Oats shrugged easily, looking at you and holding his hands up just a little.
For a fleeting moment, you weren’t sure, but the idea of wrapping your arms around Oats’ thick middle and sitting astride his gorgeous bike kind of decided it for you. Besides, it was a long time since you’d done anything truly just for yourself; simply because you wanted to. You nodded at your brother. “It’s fine. You go ahead.”
“You sure?”
Nodding to reassure him, you smiled again and Alex backed up a pace. “Cool. Text me later, ok?” he said as he retreated towards his friends, clearly trying to hide his excitement at not having a passenger for the great, twisting section of A-road they were heading for.
“Will do. Have fun, and don’t crash!” you called after him. “Or get a speeding ticket!”
He waved a hand over one shoulder without looking back, and you laughed and returned your attention to Oats. “Brothers.”
“Bikers,” he replied. “You try telling that to any of that lot though —” he gestured towards his own group of friends who were now filtering out of the door. “You ready to head out too or do you want to stay?”
You did want to stay, but the seat wasn’t that comfortable anymore, and you wanted to move around a bit. “No, I’m good to go,” you said and prepared to slide off the stool, but Oats stepped down first and held out his hand to you. You didn't need helping down, and his playful little smirk told you he knew as much, so you rode out the last of that demonic possession and let your fingers slide across his palm and he steadied you off the stool.
“Thank you,” you smiled.
“Pleasure.”
You picked up your helmet from where you’d stowed it on the floor at your feet and straightened to find him waving casually across the room to the good-looking guy with the ethereally pretty boyfriend. Before he stepped away from you and made towards the door though, you cleared your throat and said, “Oats?”
“Mn?” Looking down at you, his entire attention honed in on you, like you were the centre of the universe, and you swallowed back a sudden welling of emotion.
“Listen… Thank you… for… coming over to me today. Like I said, it’s my brother’s birthday, and he was here with his friends, and he only included me so I didn’t feel completely left out, but…” Accursed tears washed over your eyes for a moment but you blinked them away furiously and ploughed on regardless. “I’m really glad I came along today anyway,” you finished rather pathetically.
His full, beautiful lips curled into a gentle smile and he blinked softly and exhaled. When he spoke, his voice was low and his words private, as though you weren’t standing in a busy cafe surrounded by people and the cheerful clatter of coffee cups and laughter. “I’m really glad I did too. I wasn’t going to, you know? I was going to stay at home and edit a boatload of raw photographs for a client, but Demon convinced me to come out. I guess I owe him.”
“‘Demon’? For… For the speed?” you asked, wondering how he came by his nickname.
“For the horns,” Oats replied in deadpan humour. “Have a look if he’s still there when we go outside. You ready?”
You followed him out of the cafe with a nod, and just as you took a deep, indulgent breath of fresh, heathland air, Oats’ group of friends filed out past you on their bikes. The one named Demon was in the lead, and the nickname made immediate sense. Sitting astride a blood-red Panigale, with his boyfriend clinging on behind him like a limpet, the guy had pale, curving horns fixed to the crown of his helmet.
“Yeah, that tracks,” you said, and Oats waggled his dark eyebrows.
The Amazon had a Yamaha R1 like your brother’s, but hers had a pearl-white wrap that made it look almost spectral, and riding out in front of her was Coco on a yellow and black Honda Hornet.
The telltale red plait told you that the guy in the wheelchair was on a modified Kawasaki, with unusual struts at the back that looked like they would come down when he stopped to stabilise him instead of having to take his legs off the foot pegs, where they were currently Velcro-ed in place. Watching the whole group file out was Hank, standing beside a battered old pickup. In the bed of the truck, you could just see that the red-headed biker’s wheelchair secured in place.
Hank waved the last of them off, then glanced over at Oats. The older man lifted his nose just a little, as if he too was enjoying the fresh, moorland wind that whipped across the car park, and he nodded once at Oats, and then at you to your surprise, before clambering stiffly up into his pickup and closing the door. It shut with a raucous yelp of rusty hinges.
You stood there and watched Oats’ friends all file out, all waving at Oats as they passed, before they set off down the road in a roar of revving engines to leave a lonely looking Bonneville waiting patiently near the stone wall of the car park nearby.
“Yours, I presume?” you said, nodding at it.
“Yup.”
“She’s a beauty,” you mumbled, self-consciousness prickling at the sides of your neck for the silly comment.
Oats beamed though, his sea-foam eyes lighting up as the crinkles around his eyes and the slight dimples in his cheeks creased under the force of his obvious pleasure. “Thank you. She’s my pride and joy. You ready? Oh, wait, you should put your address into my phone before we get going,” he laughed.
You nodded, taking the offered phone from him. Your fingers brushed against his warm skin as you took it, and a tiny thrill passed through you that you did your best to quash. With your address plugged in and a route home waiting to be followed, you handed it back to him and looked up into his handsome, rugged face as he smiled.
“Cheers. Let’s go,” he said, and you trailed along beside him over to his bike, heartbeat thudding in your ears with your nerves.
He swung a leg over and turned the key, then pushed the bike upright and nudged the side-stand in with his left foot before flicking the switch and bringing the bike to life. She growled beautifully, the low, thundering rumble of her engine sounding far more visceral and primal than your brother’s sports bike did. Perhaps it was the design of the lower-slung Bonneville, with its visible parts that made you think of a Steampunk aesthetic, but you instantly preferred it. Plus, the double seat looked way more cushioned — and less precarious — than the one you’d perched on to get to the cafe that morning.
Oats got himself comfy while you slid your helmet on, then he looked over his shoulder at you and nodded, so you took that as your cue and got settled on the pillion seat behind him. The footpegs were already down. The pulsing purr of the machine beneath you was almost enough to distract you from the fact that you were entrusting your life to a relative stranger, whom you’d never seen ride before, and as you climbed on and rested your hands politely on his shoulders, you felt a shiver travel through your whole nervous system.
“Do whatever’s comfortable for you, obviously,” Oats said over the noise of his bike, “But if you want to hold my waist — if you can actually get your arms around my middle, that is,” he chuckled self-effacingly, “— feel free. Totally up to you.”
“Thanks,” you yelled back, and, because apparently that pesky demon of confidence was still kicking around, you hugged his torso.
It was wonderful.
Slowly snaking your arms around his middle, you felt your chest press against his back and you caught the way he inhaled slowly and tried not to wonder what it meant. It felt so good to hold him that you had to remind yourself it wasn’t a hug. It was to keep you in place while a gorgeous stranger drove you home on his equally gorgeous bike. With a final thumbs-up to check you were happy, to which you replied with a nod of your head and tried not to clack your helmet against his, he pulled away and your heart leapt for the sheer joy of it.
Where the R1 was built for sleek speed and bursts of power, the Bonneville was build to be enjoyed, and oh gosh, did you enjoy every curve.
And not just the curves in the road, either.
Oats was soft, but he was solid, and the urge to rest one hand on his thick thigh was almost overwhelming, until he took the corners at just the right pace to be exhilarating without you having to worry about your safety, and you clung on instead and laughed behind the safety of your visor.
It was all over way too soon, and as the Bonneville chugged into your road like a steam train and halted outside your poky, terraced house with its quaint little kitchen garden out the front in the postage-stamp of space between the pavement and the house, your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. Please don’t let this be it, you thought desperately.
You went through the motions of getting carefully off the bike without staggering or falling, and again, Oats held out his hand to help steady you. You gripped his fingers gratefully and when you gave an extra little squeeze to his hand at the end, you could have sworn he answered with one of his own and a throaty chuckle.
He dismounted too, which surprised you, and you wondered if you were going to have to ask him inside. As much as you wanted that in principle, you desperately didn’t want it to happen today because the house was a mess: laundry was still hanging up all over the place, and you’d cooked a curry the previous night and it was definitely still lingering in the air.
Oats took off his helmet but left his bike idling, which went a little way to reassuring you, and when you looked more closely at his expression, you thought you saw a hint of something familiar lingering in the corners of his eyes. Was he nervous?
Swallowing thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing behind the thick, 5 o’clock shadow that looked like it lingered pretty constantly no matter the time of day, Oats took a deep breath, held it, and then smiled at you. “Fuck,” he exhaled, and laughed. “I’m… very rusty at all this.” He held his helmet in both hands before him, toying with the strap.
“If I gave you my number, would you maybe like to meet up again?” you asked, taking pity on the man.
“Very much,” he said softly. “Like I said, Natalie is with her mum for the holidays, and apart from a wedding I’m covering next week, this is a pretty slow time of year for me. I’m free… mostly whenever.”
The reminder that he had a daughter with someone else did make you wonder what you were letting yourself in for. Children weren’t really something you had any expense of, since neither you nor your brother had shown any parental inclinations yet, and you weren’t particularly close to your cousins who had small kids.
“Ok, let me give you my number and we can figure something out.”
That done, he slid his phone back into his pocket and zipped it up, biting gently at his lower lip for a moment. “I know it’s bold,” he said, “But may I kiss you?”
Your heart skipped and soared. Breathless, you looked up at him and whispered, “Yes.”
His tiny, gentle, lopsided smile heralded the kiss’ approach, and he took your jaw delicately in one, leather-gloved hand as he leaned down and brushed his lips against yours. They were soft but insistent against yours, and you answered with a little moan as your eyes fluttered shut.
He groaned, pulling you closer with a low growl so that you were pressed flush against him for a moment before he stepped back and exhaled roughly. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Thank you. I’ll… I’ll see you soon?”
You nodded, feeling like you were floating inches above the ground.
You watched him re-mount his bike and adjust himself a little once he was settled, then he revved it playfully for you, and rode away after a final look back at you. He flipped his visor down as he pulled away, and you watched the bike and its rider disappear down the road.
‘Soon’ couldn’t come soon enough… 
__
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
Text
𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝘽𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙡
Chapter 1: Hello Richmond
Summary: Embarking on a new job as a Richmond PT, you’ve experienced an interesting reunion with an old friend, as well as welcoming new faces and new beginnings.
Canon Rewrite starting from s2. Eventual Ted Lasso x Reader, but we will be focusing on friendships for now :))
Warnings: Swearing, no y/n usage
Word count: 2k
***
Funny how the universe works sometimes, coincidences that accumulate, points of entwining fates in the web of life. It’s a fascinating and scary notion to experience. Case in point, Doctor Sharon Fieldstone is standing beside you in the Office of the Richmond Head Coach for introductions. Who would’ve thought that the job you accepted at London would reunite you with your ex-therapist after years? 
She has not changed since the last time you saw her. 
“I just wanted to introduce you to Dr. Sharon Fieldstone. She’s going to be looking after Dani. And here’s Ms. Reader. She’s the new PT, replacing Dr. Salsbury after that incident.” Wincing, Leslie Higgins introduced you to the group. Despite the curiosity, you don’t dare ask what exactly happened. 
“This is Nathan, Coach Beard, and Ted Lasso.”
You looked around the group of men, familiarizing their faces. Notably, you observed Nathan's bashful wave, Coach Beard's pensive and analytical gaze, and the amiable expression on the mustachioed face of Ted Lasso, the head coach whose demeanor exuded warmth and friendliness. You see him stand.
“Oh, you don’t need to stand,” Fieldstone protests.
“But it makes it a lot easier to do this.” 
The head coach of Richmond is twirling in circles, singing a spontaneous song as a unique way of welcoming you. The other two men enthusiastically join their boss with improvised vocals and thumps, in a display, which is, honestly, quite impressive.
“Consider this song our way to greet you. Hey!” The three shouted.
A beat passed. 
“So I understand that Dani has developed a case of the yips?” You laugh internally as Dr. Sharon just ignored their antics.
“Hey!” The three physically winced loudly.
“Okay, that’s two weird things in a row. What’s going on?” 
Failing to suppress your laugh, you covered your mouth, prompting all of them to direct their attention toward you.
"Apologies, had a little something in my throat," you interjected, feigning a cough for added effect. "Please, go on," you continued, waving your hand in a gesture to encourage them to resume.
“Well, Doc, we don’t like using that word around here,” Coach Lasso says.
“Why?” 
Hesitancy is seen in the head coach as he glanced around at his co-workers to try, silently urging one of them to take charge of the conversation.
“Uhm… How do I? Why y’all looking at me? He’s the one who knows everyth—” pointing at Coach Beard, “Oh okay, all right. Well, Doc–”
“Doctor.” Doctor Sharon interjected. 
"Right, yes, of course. Sorry. Doctor, it’s a superstition?" he concluded the sentence with a hint of uncertainty.
The therapist nodded in understanding, as if to say here we go again. “I see. Well, the yips…”
You find it amusing to witness grown men react so strongly to the word "yips," and can't help but laugh internally that you've seen it happen three times in the last five minutes.
“... are not a superstition. They are a mental condition, one that can be fixed with discipline, not denial.” 
“So, then, you’re pretty confident that you can help us out with Dani?”
What a strange thing to ask, Coach Lasso. Is he doubting her capabilities as a therapist? It's akin to asking, "How can you be certain that you’ll be making a difference?"
“Are you good at your job?” It seemed Doctor Sharon also had the same interpretation. The tension in the room was palpable. The tension in the room became palpable as the coach glanced around, uncertain if the question was a bait to demonstrate his competence or an expression of arrogance.
“Don’t worry about them. Put all bullshit humility aside and be honest with me. Are you good at your job? Yes or no?” The sharp-tongued Doctor Sharon strikes again. She had always been efficient, swift to discern the underlying causes of people's issues. It’s fascinating to see. You’ve missed your old friend… while it may be unprofessional to view her as a close confidante given your previous client relationship, she played a significant role in your mental journey, especially in years past. You always regretted not keeping in contact with her after she left. And, now that you have the chance, you yearn to be more than just her former client and co-worker – you want to be her friend.
Coach Lasso finally replied, “Yes.”
“I believe you. Well, as good as you are at your job, I’m twice as good at mine.” All are shocked at her words and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling under your breath at their faces. 
A beat passed.
In unison, the men chimed in with expressions of gratitude, "We're very lucky to have you," "Thank you very much," "That's good to know," and "Thank you for coming here" were all spoken in a synchronized display of thanks. 
“Right, so where should I be conducting my sessions?” 
You finally cracked and laughed aloud. All eyes on you. It was the first time you’ve met eyes with Doc Sharon, looking at you strangely. “I– I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help it. That was rude of me. But seeing as we are all now acquainted with each other, I will have to step out to go begin talking with the players, if you all don’t mind.”
“Oh sure. Yes, yes. Nice meeting you, Doc Reader.” Coach Lasso was first to react.
Waving, you remembered leaving the office with a tiny smile thinking, “They seem fun.”
***
Having just completed interviews with the first half of the team for your preliminary checks, you decided to grab some lunch. On your way to the dining facility, you spotted Doc Sharon walking.
"Hey Doc, you still don’t take shit from anybody. Just as fun as I remember," you said with a grin, attempting to engage in conversation with your former co-worker. Your intention was to glean some comments on the morning’s events. Seems like a safe topic to start with.
"Please refrain from addressing me so casually in the workplace. It's unprofessional," her tone was cold. You were taken aback by her sentence. 
"I’m sorry, Doc Sharon, I—" you started, only to be abruptly interrupted.
"It's Doctor."
"Doctor Sharon, I was just thinking that because we’ve shared the same workplace for a few years, I assumed we'd built a rapport. Why the sudden hostility?" you asked, attempting to understand the shift in her demeanor. 
"I prefer maintaining a clear boundary between my professional and personal life." 
That does not explain the hostility. But you tried to give it one more chance. 
Tone soft, you attempted to invite her to chat, "Alright. I just thought we could catch up a bit after work." 
"There’s no need for that, Reader. Although, I appreciate your offer. If you'd excuse me, I have some work to attend to," she curtly responded, signaling the end of the conversation.
What the actual fuck was that?
***
After completing the update for the player database, filled with your comments suggesting potential modifications to their training regime, your initial plan was to head home. You’ve decided to put your conversation with Doctor Sharon on the back burner, for now. The first priority is the job. 
Mr. Higgins had introduced you to the entire medical team before extending introductions to the higher-ups and coaches. Everyone was welcoming, and it was remarkable how quickly you had grown comfortable in the space within a day—comfortable enough to confidently ask questions about their systems and set-up shop in one of the offices. 
Your thoughts drifted back to a conversation with the players earlier, prompting you to take a detour. You rapped on the door, finding Coach Lasso alone in his office.
“Hey Coach, Sam told me you were rear-ended by a football this week. Mind popping back to the treatment room real quick so I can take a look?”
“Oh, no need for that, Doc. I wouldn’t want to make a fuss.” You scowled internally with his reaction.  
You dislike it when people deny care when injured. They do have their reasons, but in your years of service, it’s better to have injuries checked out especially as athletes, no matter how minor. People are entitled to healthcare and to deny it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You were hired exactly for this reason, for god’s sake. 
"Well, I believe it wouldn't set a great example for the players if their own head coach refuses medical care when injured, wouldn't you agree?"
Stilling, he looked at you like a deer in headlights. You have half a mind to stop yourself from chuckling. After a brief pause, he slowly nodded and admitted, "You got me there, Doc. My bad. Yeah, okay. I'm free now if that works for you?"
At the treatment room, he was lying face down on one of the beds while you took a look at his lower back and saw nasty bruising, prodding softly to gauge how much pain it registers on the coach. 
"So, how's the new gig treating you?" Coach inquired, seemingly steering the conversation to cut through the lingering awkwardness. You can handle conversation. 
“I think it’s going well. I had a chance to meet with the boys earlier– how’s the pain here? – conducted their preliminary checks, and had the chance to talk to them. They’re all quite polite.” You reply, moving to a different region on his sizable bruise. Coach Lasso let out a tiny sigh.
“"Hmm... still tender there– That’s good to hear. Some days, them lot are wilder than cattle escaped but they’re good kids. If you need any help rounding them up, you can count on me.”
Chucking, you replied, “I'll definitely take you up on that offer sometime, Coach. I’m looking forward to working with all of them — You can sit up now if it’s not too painful — Doctor Sharon should be able to assist with that too. I heard what happened to Dani and the dog, Earl? It’s a tragic thing to happen.”
After a brief pause, you rummaged through the storage to get an ice pack.
“Yes, we’ll do anything to bring Dani back to his chipper self.," he responded, his voice carrying a hint of strain and uncertainty. Curious of his reactions and his question from earlier, you decided to probe further.
“Do you think she can’t do it?” Coach Lasso's response was quick to deny it, exclaiming a series of "nos" with growing intensity. "No, no, no. Nothing like that. I just—I just wish I knew how to help Dani as well."
Despite Doctor Sharon’s demeanor in your interaction, you've never harbored any doubt on her abilities. She is an incredible therapist, one who truly cares for her patients and genuinely invested in their well-being. And you know it better than anyone, as you've sat on the other side of the table as one of her patients.
"Well, if there's anyone who can handle it, it's her. Healing is not linear nor does it rely on one person. I think it always takes a collective effort. It's sort of a trio deal—soul, body, and mind, I suppose. You take care of the soul, I handle the body, and Doctor Sharon tends to the mind." Handing the ice pack to the coach, you continue, "Here you go... I'd recommend applying an ice pack for the next 24 hours. No more than 15 minutes at a time, and repeat throughout the day. Once the swelling subsides, we can transition to warm compress. If the pain becomes unbearable, let me know, and I'll provide you with some painkillers."
The head coach fixed his gaze on you for a moment. “I appreciate your words, doc. Thanks for that. And thank you, too, for the check up. I’ll be pretty as a peach come tomorrow. And hey, If you even need some help, for anything at all, just holler down the hall.” 
Chuckling, you nodded. “Alright then, Coach. Thanks for your time. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
____________________________________________
Hi everyone!
This fic is follows the POV of Reader (who is honestly more of an OC without the name). This fic is cross-posted to AO3 with the same title.
Anyways, some notes to consider:
1. Reader is closer to an OC without a name. She has a past and personality. Probably asking why not just give her a name? I could not commit to it; thus, Reader will be used. No y/n usage.
2. Reader is upwards of 30 :))
3. Author is not a football fan nor a PT. All of it came from internet research. Feel free to comment if I got something *horrendously* bad.
4. The idea just came because I really wanted to befriend Dr. Sharon.
With that being said, let's have fun!
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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I genuinely forgot they were playing as two people until Tubbo said it lmao
I think this is evidence that Codebreakers are drift compatible
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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a little comic about kisses and curses. happy halloween!
(all my comics are here!)
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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very tempted to just post the one chapter of the fic i wrote because i cannot commit to writing the whole thing :')))
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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very interesting for x reader fics to pop up for luke castellan when you've read the book LMAO
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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abandoned pubby
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aliciaihmansblog · 4 months
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Not every character needs to be in a romantic relationship reblog if you agree
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