Dawn of Love | Chapter 5
Josh Kiszka x Female Reader
Word Count: 6.7k
Warnings: Fluff, Talks of Death, Talks of Cancer/Cancer treatment, Angst, Oral Sex (M! Receiving), Fingering (F! Receiving), Car Sex, Unprotected Sex, Arguing, Crying, Talks of Doubt, Talks of Abandonment, Death, Sad!Josh (I apologize in advance), Heartbreak.
Authorâs Note: We have officially entered frat boy era Josh𤊠And Iâm sad to say this will be the only chapter of Frat boy/rat tail Josh :( But trust the process and the vision I have for this series. Weâre halfway through itđĽš
May 2016
Sophomore year of college was completed, you somehow managed to maintain your GPA. Even after finding out everything last fall. Josh was really your rock through it all, he helped push you through the year. You were absolutely terrified that you would flunk out from the assignments you had missed out on, but Josh was more than helpful to assist you in getting them done.
The guys had managed to start playing more bars, they even were starting to work on an EP with a label. They were more than thrilled as you were. Josh had assured you over the last few months that he was happy about his decision and that it wasnât because of Jake. He wanted to do it too.
Your fatherâs treatments were going well, or at least better for most. Your relationship had gotten better, it was sad how the idea of death brought the two of you together. But it was better now than never. Your weeks consisted of photo clientele, and making your dadâs treatment appointments. He kept telling you that you didnât have to go, but you insisted on being there every step of the way to fight it with him.
Josh and your dad had even gotten closer themselves, which you were thrilled about. You wanted them to have a good relationship, considering you saw a future with Josh. The two of them would go fishing together with Jake and Kelly, to help get your dadâs mind off of things for a while.
Your sister Oliva and yourself dedicated every Sunday to be a spa day for the two of you to debrief and relax after a long week. It was much needed for the two of you, your sister was going into her senior year now and preparing to send applications to collegeâs. Her and Sam had even been spending more time together, a little more than usual. But you and Josh had encouraged them to be with one another. Although your sister kept on telling you that it wasnât like that⌠But you knew it was exactly that.
Even with all of that going on, Josh made sure after every practice the guys had or anytime they went to record at the studio that he would spend much needed time with you. He prioritized your relationship just as much as he did his and his brotherâs career. You were excited for them, especially being able to hear the raw uncut work before itâs finalized.
You had gotten offered a great program to jumpstart your filming and directing career especially only going into your junior year. You had been working on extra side projects to earn this program, and finally got accepted into to hopefully graduate a year earlier.
âSunny.â Josh called out to you.
âWhatâs up?â You smiled softly.
âSo, the guys and I have to go to Nashville in July for some recording sessionsâŚâ
âThatâs awesome.â You smiled weakly.
âI was kind of hoping you would join us. Well me at least anyways.â He scratched the back of his head. His freshly cut hair, he let go of the length and went short. With an undercut. He looked absolutely hot.
âYou want me to come along?â
âI mean of course. It's going to be a week-long trip, and I figured you would like to tag along.â He smiled sitting beside you.
âIâd love to come. Will the guys be okay with it?â You worried about crashing the trip.
âJake actually suggested you join. To make sure we didnât drive each other insane.â He chuckled.
You laughed softly, nodding in agreement with him. âYeah, you guys can get pretty heated.â
âI also figured you needed a break too though. From everything youâve been going through.â He sat beside you, holding your hand.
âThey say heâs getting better, but he looks worse now than he did beforeâŚâ You felt tears threatening your eyes thinking about your fatherâs current state. âWhat if he doesnât make it Josh? What am I supposed to do?â
âSunnyâŚâ His voice softened, âYour dad is strong. I believe heâll win this battle. Heâs got a great team of doctors and an amazing support system.â He rubbed your shoulders. âIf something were to happen, and I hope nothing does⌠You just remember him. Remember him healthy, remember the good times, remember him happy.â
Tears started to stream down your face. âIâm so scared Josh⌠I donât want him to goâŚâ You wrapped your arms around him sobbing into his chest.
âI know baby⌠I know.â He consoled you, rubbing your back as he hugged you tightly.
âIf something were to happen, youâll be there, right?â You sniffled looking at him.
âOf course, Y/N. You call me and I will be right there.â He cupped your cheek in his hands, kissing your lips softly.
âI love you.â He smiled resting his forehead against yours.
âI love you too.â You sighed softly as you felt yourself calm down.
After sitting there in a moment of silence you finally gathered yourself, becoming excited about joining them on their trip to Nashville.
âSooo, do you have anything fun planned for us when we go down?â You smiled softly.
âI might have a few things up my sleeveâŚâ He smirked softly.
âNot even a hint?â You tried your best puppy dog look.
âNope. Youâll just have to wait and see.â He kissed your cheek.
You groaned getting up from your bed. âYouâre no fun.â
âI canât ruin any surprises!â He argued back jokingly.
July 2016
The guys and yourself flew into Nashville, the flight wasnât that long which you were grateful for. The entire flight Sam kept talking about your sister Olivia. Which made you realize just how much the two of them liked each other. Although your sister would deny such a thing.
The guys had managed to get a nice cabin, a few miles out from the city. They felt it would be a nice change than staying in the busy city. And Josh always loves taking advantage of nature when he can. He loved being outdoors, just as much as Sammy did.
That was your first stop of the day, settling into your cabin. Josh and yourself found a room that had a nice view of the mountains, it was also the master suite. The guys made their jokes of course about the two of you which you just ignored as Josh lectured them all.
âWhen do you guys head to the studio?â You unpacked your bag as Josh does.
âWe have to be there for 3. It's probably going to be a long nightâŚâ He gave a half smile.
âItâs only the first day. Itâs okay, we have the rest of the week to do whatever you have planned.â You smiled at him softly.
âItâs just we have to try and get this EP done. Especially since they want to release our first single soon. Which we still havenât even perfected.â He sighed softly.
âHey, thatâs why you guys have been coming down here. It will work out, donât stress about it. I believe in you.â You cupped his face in your hands.
âItâs just. This is Jakeâs dream⌠And I want to help him every step of the way.â
âYou are helping him. I mean look at you guys⌠These past two years that Iâve known you. Youâve shown me how much you have helped him. You guys are literally here. Recording your first ever EP!â You kissed his lips softly.
He kissed you back softly. âYeah⌠Youâre right. I donât know why Iâm freaking.â He chuckled nervously.
âWell, it's not exactly an easy thing you guys are doing. Youâre putting your heart and soul into this. All bands have to start out somewhere⌠But you guys, you have something that no other band has.â You caressed his cheek.
He smiled at you lovingly, âWhat would that be?â
âThe love you have for one another. You guys are brothers. And there is no stronger bond than that, I mean Danny fits right in. He was the perfect puzzle piece for you all.â
âYeah⌠I honestly donât know how we wouldâve made it this far.â He smiled softly. âThank you for believing in me, believing in us Sunny.â
âAlways and forever Josh.â You kissed his cheek softly.
âAre you guys almost finished unpacking? We want to head to some restaurant not too far from the studio before weâre there all night.â Sam yelled up.
âJesus Samuel, give us 5 minutes!â Josh rolled his eyes, causing you to giggle.
âCome on, letâs finish and get out of here before they barge in here thinking weâre up to no good.â
âSo what if weâre up to no goodâŚâ He smirks at you.
âAbsolutely not, not right now Joshua.â You give him a stern look.
âOuch. Joshua⌠Really Y/N.â
âIâm serious, letâs finish up and go.â You patted his chest continuing to finish unpacking.
The restaurant was really only two blocks away from their recording studio. Which was a nice advantage, the food was delicious and the portions were massive leaving mostly everyone with some sort of leftover.
Once arriving at the studio the guys started setting up some of their own gear while the studio had extra gear for them to use as well. You smiled softly as you watched Jake be completely mesmerized by the studio. This studio was a whole lot different than the one back in Michigan.
Josh was checking out the recording booth for himself to see what space he was working with. It wasnât as small as the one back home. The rest of the guys got settled in and started to tune their instruments, while Danny tested the drum kit out.
Youâve heard some of their unrecorded songs, while there were many. They only were brought down to 4 choices. You absolutely loved âFlower Powerâ although that was Jakeâs song he had written for a certain someone that he wouldnât disclose, so you never bothered him about it.
You had a feeling deep down their biggest hit would be âHighway Tuneâ. It was definitely a song that would reach a big crowd with Jakeâs riff, Joshâs vocals, Dannyâs drum skills and Samâs bass skills. Honestly any song from the EP will blow people away.
âSunny, theyâre calling me into the booth.â Josh came over kissing your lips softly.
âGo kill it, rockstar.â You giggled softly, as you watched him go off into the booth. They played a backtrack from âBlack Smoke Risingâ which the guys had been working on for Josh to sing.
You sat on the couch there, watching him sing his heart out in the booth smiling big as you were amazed by his vocal range only knowing it was going to be even better as the years went by.
After about two hours they were pretty much finished with the samples they needed from Josh for the day. While the rest of the guys recorded their samples for the rest of the night until they had to return back tomorrow.
Josh came sitting by you on the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him. In which you snuggled into him.
âAre you feeling alright?â He spoke softly.
âA little tired, but itâs worth it.â You smiled softly.
âMe too, mama. Iâm beat after today. Iâm sure they are too, but luckily on Wednesday weâre going to the lake.â He kissed your cheek.
âReally?â You smiled softly.
âMhm, just the two of us. A nice picnic with my beautiful girl.â He caressed your cheek kissing your forehead.
âGod, can you two ever get a room?â Sam made a gagging noise.
âSammy boy⌠You act as if you havenât been affectionate with a lady before.â You gave him a questioning look.
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â His face was a little red.
âOh but I think you doâŚâ You giggled softly, knowing your sister and him have definitely been seeing each other more.
âYeah, Sam⌠Smooching all up with OliviaâŚâ Josh chimed in.
âSeriously guys.â He groaned walking away to finish up recording, as the two of you sat there laughing.
âI think it's cute. Iâm glad they have one another.â You smiled at Josh.
âYeah, it's kind of ironic though.â He chuckled.
âHonestly, I would've thought my sister would pick a jock over a musician. But she surprised meâŚâ You giggle softly.
âI didnât think you would fall for a theater kid.â Josh smiled at you.
âWith my love for film⌠Iâm glad I fell for a theater kid.â
Wednesday came quicker than expected, you guys had been in Nashville since Sunday and would be heading back home early Sunday morning. The last few days had been filled with exploring downtown Nashville while also going to the recording studio with the guys. They would have to come back down a few more times this year before they could actually wrap up the EP. As it still âneeded wordâ as the label stated.
But today was a day off from the studio leaving you and Josh to go to the lake as planned, while the rest of the guys went kayaking.
You put on your favorite swim piece that you knew drove Josh crazy. Wearing your overalls over the top of it. You smiled to yourself as you slipped your sandals on and grabbed your bag with towels, blankets and sunscreen. While Josh had the cooler in his hand. The two of you took a short drive to where the lake was, as it wasnât far from the cabin you were staying at.
âGod itâs beautiful down here.â You sighed contently taking in the scenery
âYeah, it is.â Josh smiles softly, looking over to you.
âI wouldnât mind moving down here⌠In the future of course.â You giggled softly.
âReally?â
âI mean yeah. Winterâs arenât as bad as Michigan. And the summer is obviously nice as well.â You started to walk toward the lake.
âYeah, youâre not wrong.â He rubbed your back following behind you.
Once you found a spot the two of you placed the blanket down. While Josh set up the picnic he had for the two of you. You smiled sitting down on the blanket after helping him, then he sat next to you.
âDo you- god this is probably stupidâŚâ Josh chuckled nervously.
âWhat is it?â You smiled pulling a water bottle out.
âDo you think weâll get a home together one day?â He scratched the back of his neck.
You felt your cheeks flush, âYeah⌠I think one day we will.â
He smiled brightly, setting up the little picnic of sandwiches, fruit and chips. As well as a bottle of wine.
âTrying to get me wine drunk in the daylight, Joshy?â You giggled softly.
âMaybe I am, maybe Iâm not.â He raised an eyebrow laughing softly, as he pulled out solo cups to pour the wine into.
The two of you sat there talking about everything that was coming up later in the year. How the guys would have a few promotional things coming up, and. your projects you had with school coming up as well.
The weather was beautiful out, it wasnât so hot out that it was unbearable. It was the perfect weather you could ask for. As you ate, you watched over the lake seeing the birds fly over, chirping away. You felt home, and free with Josh. The most at peace youâve felt in a while.
After finishing up eating the two of you decided to swim in the lake, as the heat picked up a bit since you got there. But the water was perfect, the two of you swam for a while. Then decided to head back to the cabin to prepare dinner for the guys and yourselves.
Pulling up to the cabin you noticed the guys arrived not too long ago from their day out kayaking. Jake and Josh both shared a similar sun-kissed face from the long day out. Samâs back was as red as a lobster causing you to giggle softly.
âJeez Sammy, did you forget to reapply?â
âDaniel was supposed to remind meâŚâ He winced in pain.
âListen man, I was zoned out and totally blanked.â Danny tried defending himself.
Shaking your head laughing softly, you all tredge inside. âSam there should be some Aloe in the bathroom upstairs. Danny can help you apply it, while Josh and I get dinner ready for everyone.â
Danny nods his head and runs upstairs grabbing that for Sam to help relieve the pain and reduce his skin from peeling.
Josh insisted on making pasta, with his signature sauce. In which you couldnât argue as he was a good cook. You helped make a side of salad for everyone, while baking some garlic bread.
After finishing up making everything, you brought it to the dining table, calling everyone to eat. In which all the guys pretty much rushed in, Sam now a little more relaxed after Danny had helped apply aloe on his back. Jake couldnât help but pile his plate with food right away.
âThanks for letting me come along on this trip guys⌠I really needed it.â You smiled softly as you made your plate up.
âOf course! Youâre always welcome to come and tag along.â Sam chimed in, as well as the other guys.
âHonestly Y/N, I think if you didnât come we wouldnât have lasted the whole week here.â Jake chuckled softly.
âYeah, cause at least at home. Their mom is able to break up the fights.â Danny laughed softly, while the twins shook their heads.
âIâm really glad you joined us too for this⌠Whenever we tour the world⌠I want you to be there. Every step of the way.â Josh smiled rubbing his thumb over your cheek. As he plants a soft kiss to your lips. Earning groans and gagging noises from the rest.
âOh shut up, just cause you donât have girlfriends or your girlfriends arenât here doesnât mean I canât show some PDA.â Josh argued with them.
âAlright, alright letâs just eat. Okay?â You giggled softly looking at everyone.
They all just nodded, and began to eat whatever was on the table for dinner. There were no complaints, just compliments and discussions of what was to come, and talking about childhood memories.
But, Josh truly did brighten your days, even after all the dark that has happened within the last year. And you couldnât be more grateful to have him a part of your life, as well as the rest of the guys. They were your family, and you wouldnât trade them for the world.
April 2017
The guys have officially released their EP this month, and you couldnât be any more proud of them. Karen hosted a small gathering at their house with Dannyâs family to join as well.
All of you were sitting in the basement, you were sitting on Joshâs lap. While your sister had been cozying up with Sam. They finally became official right around Christmas after the months of everyone piecing it together that were in fact together.
Danny and Jake strummed on their guitars as Jake has been teaching Danny more on how to play. You smiled to yourself knowing that these were your people, and you wouldnât trade it for the world.
âSo whatâs the plan now? A tour Iâd presume?â You smiled at them.
âSome shows around cities. I think they have a few festivals lined up for us, which surprised us. And then weâre releasing a double-EP later this year.â Jake smiled softly.
âThatâs exciting! Iâm so happy for you guys, itâs all happening.â
âCouldnât have done it without everyone.â Jake smiled softly.
You smiled softly, eventually getting up from Joshâs lap stretching your legs out. You put your hand out for him. âCome on.â You smiled softly.
âWhere are we going?â He chuckled softly.
âFor a drive.â You giggled softly, pulling him with you as you left the house getting into your Jeep that you got for yourself after your car practically died on you.
âWhere are we going, Sunny?â He tried to pry it out of you.
âYouâll know once we get there.â You giggled softly.
You were taking him to the abandoned cabin he had taken you too, a few years ago. It had been awhile since the two of you have sat there to relax and clear your minds. It always brought you a sense of comfort when visiting there.
Surprisingly no one has bought it yet, you figured it was destinyâs way of telling you the two of you would own it one day.
After driving for a little while, you pulled up seeing Josh smiling softly out of your peripheral vision. You parked the car, opening the trunk to the back of the Jeep to sit in with Josh.
âWe havenât been here in a whileâŚâ He chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
âI figured we needed a well deserved trip here.â You smiled taking in the view of the acres that swallowed the cabin. It was more than likely a very beautiful home years ago, but after being vacated it wasnât taken care of and left to rot basically.
âYou just wait⌠One day, Iâm gonna buy this.â He kissed your cheek softly.
âNot if I beat you to it.â You giggled softly.
âYouâre gonna be an amazing film director.â He rubbed your shoulder. âItâs crazy that youâre going to be graduating next year already⌠And Iâm going to be touring and producing more musicâŚâ
âI couldnât be more proud of you, Josh.â
âIâm undeniably more proud of you, Y/N.â He kissed your lips softly.
You smiled into the kiss, placing your hand on his chest softly.
Josh cupped your face with his one hand, deepening the kiss. Causing a quiet moan to tumble from your lips. He smirked against your lips, trailing kisses down your neck softly.
A breathy moan came from you, as you slid your hand over to his crotch, feeling him harden beneath your hand. You smiled softly as you palmed him slowly, earning a groan from him as he left wet kisses.
Luckily you were practically out in the middle of nowhere, so no one would catch the two of you like this. Taking matters into your hands, you gently pulled away and began to unbutton his pants.
âCome on⌠Let me be nice to her.â He mumbled.
âAh, this is about you right now.â You shushed him as you kissed his lips softly, continuing to unbutton his pants and shift them down along with his boxers springing his hard cock free.
You wrapped your hand around the base pumping him slowly as you see the tip is flushed and leaking with pre cum, taking your tongue you lick the tip gently earning a groan from him.
He pulled your hair back with his hand, making a makeshift ponytail. You smiled softly, as your mouth sinks down over him. Using your hand to pump as you try to fit all of him into your mouth, relaxing your throat to not gag.
His grip on your hair tightens as he moans and praises you. Feeling the heat grow between your legs, you keep your pace up, not breaking it to keep him where you want him. Using your other hand you massage his balls, as he bucks his hips making you gag slightly.
âFuck, Y/NâŚâ
You hummed along his length, making him buck his hips again. You pulled your mouth off of him, pumping him still as he took your face kissing your lips roughly as your teeth clashed together.
You began to remove your leggings, as Josh dipped his hand past your lace panties, feeling how wet you were for him.
âYouâre gonna be the death of meâŚâ He chuckled softly, kissing your neck, as he slipped two fingers into you pumping them slowly curling them as he hit your spot.
Whining quietly, you kiss his neck softly while trailing behind marks.
âThereâs no one out here baby. Sâjust us.â He smiles softly, as he continues to work his fingers. You let your moans slip more frequently as you were nearing your end.
âJosh, I-â
âI know mama, let go.â He worked you through your first orgasm as it washed over you, you tilted your head back as you saw stars.
Pulling his fingers, he sucks on them making sure to get every drop of you as he hums contently. He then removes your panties, as he places his hands on your waist letting you hover over his lap. You kissed his lips softly, as he fumbled around his pants pockets.
âShitâŚâ He groans quietly.
âWhatâs wrong?â You caress his face.
âI donât have a condom with meâŚâ
âIf you want to continue, Iâm on birth control. Itâs only one timeâŚâ You smile softly, as you and Josh had always used protection just for the sake of avoiding the chances of a pregnancy scare.
âAre you sure? I donât want to pressure youâŚâ He grabbed your face gently.
You nodded, âIâm more than sure. Itâs okay, I trust you.â You smiled, kissing his lips softly, feeling him line himself up with you.
Slowly you sink down, feeling him stretch you out. As the two of you gasp feeling each other for the very first time without a layer of latex. It felt different and so much better, but you knew this would be the only time for a while.
âGod⌠Iâm not sure Iâll last.â He moans underneath you, holding your waist firmly.
âLook at meâŚâ You grabbed his face gently, as he locked eyes with you. âI know this feels different than normal, but weâll make it last.â You kissed his lips softly as you kept a slow pace on rolling your hips.
Kissing you back, he moaned into your mouth as the two of you got lost in each other. He gripped your hips some more, before moving his hands down to your ass gripping firmly as he spread your cheeks earning moans from you as you continued to ride him.
After riding at a slow pace, you decided to pick the pace up a bit. Bouncing on his cock, earning a groan from him as he smacks your ass. Earning a yelp from you, placing your hands on his chest to help hold yourself. He grabbed your face, kissing you roughly.
After a few more rolls of your hips, he was thrusting up to meet your hips. He was starting to falter a bit, signaling he was closer than he thought.
âBaby, I⌠Where?â His hair was sticking to his forehead as sweat was beating down his face.
âInsideâŚâ You whined, throwing your head back.
He held you close to him as he took over, using his feet to thrust into you using his free hand to rub circles onto your clit to bring you to your last orgasm.
âFuckâŚâ You felt your body go into overdrive as you orgasm crashed like a wave. And he wasnât too far as he groaned thrusting two more times after he finally stilled inside of you, coating you inside with his release.
You rest your forehead against his, panting with him as he smiles softly kissing your lips. You kissed him back giggling softly, as he slipped out of you carefully, grabbing napkins to clean up your mess.
After cleaning yourselves up, you put your pants back on, deciding on sitting and watching the stars for the rest of the evening together.
June 2018
The guys released their double-EP back in November. They even toured in Europe for the Spring while doing some shows here in the states during the summer.
You graduated just a month ago, giving you the free time to go on the small leg of the tour with the guys, it was fun being on the road with them. But sharing a small van with 4 guys could be a bit much.
Josh and yourself had started considering getting an apartment in the city somewhere, or waiting to rent a home until the two of you could afford to buy a home. As your relationship was getting more serious. But you also werenât sure if you wanted to stay in Michigan to pursue your film and photography career.
While being on the road with them, you always called home to check in on your dad. You felt a little guilty for not being there with him, but he assured you that it would be better if you went out and saw a little bit of the world with the guys.
On your way back home, Josh and yourself decided that he would stay over for the weekend while you guys looked over more listings and figured out where you wanted to live. As you had to get a head start on diving into your career.
After being dropped off, you guys said your goodbyes to the rest of the guys walking into your very empty and quiet house. Which threw you off guard, but you figured maybe your family went out to the lake for the day. And ventured upstairs to your bedroom with Josh.
âSo I did get an offer for Nashville.â You smiled softly as you set your bags down.
âThatâs amazing!â Josh smiles, kissing your cheek.
âItâs just, with everything with my dad⌠I donât know if moving to Nashville is too sudden or selfish of me.â You sighed sitting on your bed.
âSunny, itâs not selfish. I think it's great if you want to move to Nashville. The scene down there⌠I mean you saw it. Itâs always busy, and Iâm sure you would fit right in.â He rubbed your hand gently.
âAnd the guys and I have been talking about moving down there ourselves⌠With working on our first full album, weâre going to be traveling a lot there. And figured we would save ourselves.â He chuckled softly.
âIt wouldnât hurt I guessâŚâ You smiled shyly. Then your phone started ringing, seeing your momâs contact appear.
âMom. Wait, I can barely understand you⌠I, itâs DAD! Iâll be there, just wait.â You hung up with her, looking at Josh frantically.
âWe have to go, it's my dad.â You scattered around your room finding your car keys, as tears filled your eyes.
âSunny, woah! Let me drive, youâre in no shape.â He grabbed the keys from you, helping you out of the car, opening the door for you. He hopped in the driver's side starting the car up and heading over to the hospital.
On the way over it felt like forever although Josh was practically blowing almost every stop sign to get you there as quickly as possible. You were crying and fidgeting your hands nervously not knowing whatâs going on.
After a few minutes Josh snapped you out of your daze, and helped you rush inside the hospital asking the receptionist where he was located and immediately you were taken back with Josh following right behind you. When finding the room you walk in to see your mom sitting beside your father crying at his hand, while your sister sat in the corner crying.
This was it⌠His time has come. And there was no way of turning backâŚ
âHey⌠pumpkin.â He spoke softly, but tried to sound enthusiastic as he smiled weakly.
âDadâŚâ You rushed over to his other side, grabbing his hand kissing it softly as tears kept coming down your face.
âHey now⌠No crying. We prepared for this.â He used his one hand to rub your cheek, you moved your hand on top of his.
âIâm not ready DadâŚâ You cried into his touch, as he kept rubbing your cheek.
âYes you are Y/N. Youâve been ready⌠Itâs time to make something of yourself and to make me proud.â
âIâm scared.â You whispered as you choked back tears.
âThereâs no need, Iâll always be with you⌠And you have your mom, sister and Josh. Come on over here sonâŚâ He choked up.
Josh rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder rubbing circles reassuringly.
âHi SirâŚâ He smiled weakly as tears filled his eyes.
âTreat her right, just like you always have⌠And whenever the time may come or be.â A few tears slipped from your dads eyes. âYou have my blessing.â
Josh smiled softly, as a few tears slipped. âIâll make sure she is always taken care of. You wonât ever have to worry.â He chuckled softly, as your dad nodded in agreement.
âDad, I love you so so muchâŚâ You stifled back a sob.
âAnd I love you pumpkin, more than youâll ever know. Come here.â He motioned for you, and you embraced him as best as you could hugging him tightly and he hugged you back as tight as his body would let him.
You pulled away, standing beside Josh while your sister came over to your mom, as you all stayed beside your dad for the last few minutes of his life.
After moments had passed and your father shared his last breath. You stood there in silence as your motherâs sobs soared the room as well as your sisters. Whereas you stood silent taking in everything. Feeling yourself close off, you backed away slowly feeling completely numb.
Joshâs grip on your hand stayed as he followed you out of the room. âSunnyâŚâ He called to you, shaking your head slightly and you felt tears threatening again.
âNo⌠This isnât supposed to⌠It isnât real.â You broke out, sliding down against the wall in the hallway.
âBabyâŚâ He kneeled down to you, trying to pick you up as you pushed his hands away.
âThis isnât fair Josh! He deserved more.â You cried looking up at him. âHe needed more time!â
Josh nodded, picking you up engulfing you in a hug as you wrapped yourself around him, crying into his chest.
âIâm here, let it out.â He rubbed your back softly. And you did, you stood there letting it all out, accepting your father was gone.
One Month Later
A week after your fatherâs passing your family held a funeral service and a burial. It was beautiful and the outcome was nice, seeing family from Florida and childhood friends from there too for support in these hard times.
Josh had been helping you through it, completely being by your side while attending to his duties with the band. You were grateful, but felt bad for taking him away from his responsibilities. You had been trying to get yourself busy with work, getting clients for photoshoots before making a decision on where youâll be taking your career off.
Although Josh and yourself havenât decided on where you would move too. In fact the conversation hasnât been brought up since the night of your fatherâs death. You didnât want your decision to depend on Josh, but you didnât want to wait around much longer either and ruin your chances at jumpstarting your opportunity.
You were pretty set to move to Nashville especially with an offer you were given. There was a really nice apartment that you had set a deposit on, although there were other potential tenants that could beat you to it. But you were hopeful.
Lately youâve felt a little out of place, with everything. You havenât felt like the best partner to Josh lately, and have felt like youâve been lacking at what you love to do. And a tour was coming up again for him in another few months. You had already started packing up most things in your room to prepare for whenever the day would come to pack up and go.
âSunny! We are so freaking lucky for this next small tour! You get to come with us.â He smiled brightly, embracing you tightly.
You hugged him back, smiling weakly to yourself. Feeling a little nervous with what youâre about to say.
âJoshâŚâ
âI know what youâre thinking, âI donât want to intrude on your guys' time.â And you wouldnât be!â He pulled away smiling at you still.
âJosh itâs not thatâŚâ You chewed on your lip nervously.
âWhatâs the matter?â He looked at you concerned.
âI accepted an offerâŚâ
âI thought you were going to take the year off?â He questioned.
âJosh I canât just take a year off!â You sighed, running a hand through your hair. âI have to jumpstart my career, while I can. If I donât start now, I never will⌠And I donât want to be stuck hereâŚâ
âBut you can come and be our personal photographer⌠And, whatâs so bad about here?â He tried to reason with you.
âI could never bloom with my career here⌠Thereâs just no way, and I canât be your personal photographer⌠Sure it would be nice. But I have to do this for myself Josh. You guys canât always be the ones to help me out.â You smiled weakly, placing your hand on his cheek.
âI just donât understand⌠We can work through it and get your career going.â
âBecause I have to do this on my own!â You yelled, a little louder than youâd like to admit.
He stood back a bit, looking at you. âSo what are we supposed to do?â
âI thought you would support me, and tell me to go. And hopefully you would move in with me so that you can be home when youâre not touring the world.â You looked at him with tears building in your eyes.
âI canât just pack my things up and move Y/N⌠The band. And we just arenât entirely ready to move to Nashville just yetâŚâ He looked at you, with a look that was breaking your heart.
âSo⌠Youâve just been lying to me for monthsâŚâ
âItâs not like that Sunny!â He sounded frustrated, âItâs far from that. I love you so much. But I mean I canât just pack up and go with where we are in our career with the bandâŚâ
âAnd you expected me to give up mine?â You felt the tears start to fall. âI thought we were, I thought this wasâŚâ
âThis doesnât have to end⌠Youâre still my girl, and my love has never changed for you.â He caressed your cheek, wiping away the tears.
âNo⌠Because Iâm just going to hold you back⌠and weâre at completely different points of our life right now. It would just make things difficult.â You looked up at him, your heart breaking as you spoke.
âYou wouldnât hold me back.â He chuckled softly.
You pulled away, âYes I would, and I already have⌠After my dad died, youâve been making sure to be there for me all the time. Sometimes calling things off with the band, you canât jeopardize your career for me.â
âI can manage how I handle things⌠Y/N donât do this.â He looked to you with pleading eyes, tears building up as they began to fall.
âNo. I canât hold you back. I have to let you go and be youâŚâ You choked on your words, caressing his cheek.
âThis was supposed to be foreverâŚâ His voice broke, as he looked down at you. He ran his thumb over your lips.
âI just think with everything going on⌠Weâre at completely different places in our lives right now. And itâs not fair to either one of us Josh.â You breathed through your broken sobs.
âIâm never going to stop loving you, you know that right?â He held your face in his hands.
You nodded looking at him, âIâll never stop loving youâŚâ You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him one last time. His lips connected with yours as the two of you shared your last kiss together.
After pulling apart from one another you gave him a look. âJust donât hold back because of me. If later on you find someone⌠Donât be afraid to move on.â You gave him a half smile caressing his cheek.
âDonât even go there⌠There wonât be anyone else. Iâll wait. Till you are ready.â He smiled softly, capturing you one final time.
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To be continued
Taglist-
@fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @devilat-thedoor @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @gretavanmoon @maren-gvf @itsafullmoon @gretasfallingsky @wagnerbrainrot @piratejakesgf @wetkleenex-gvf
(if youâre not tagged itâs because your tag didnât work so iâm sorry in advance)
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Good news!! Iâll have Dawn of Love Chapter 5 posted Friday around 2! I finally finished editing and such and Iâve kept you all waiting long enoughđĽ˛
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SO UH, HOW WE FEELING?!
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So Iâm shooting for Tuesday to have Dawn of Love Chapter 5 updated and ready for yâall. I was busy yesterday with friends and family and didnât have time to finish up yet! But I will have it out soonđ¤
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Sage Green for the win!! I started working on my little collages for the guys. And then will work on finishing up the new look tonight! And be on the lookout for a potential Dawn of Love update tomorrowđĽ°
Hey everyone!! Iâm thinking of changing the color theme, theme to my blog. So I wanted to do a voting and see what color you guys think I should go with!đŤśđť
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Hey everyone!! Iâm thinking of changing the color theme, theme to my blog. So I wanted to do a voting and see what color you guys think I should go with!đŤśđť
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How about a teaser for Dawn of Love Chapter 5â¤ď¸
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he looks so cunty here. and i just need him. i need him bad.
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Not me tearing up as I write Chapter 5 for Dawn of Love. Itâll be so worth it guys, I promise. Iâm hoping to have it out next week. I know Iâve had this on pause for a while and Iâm so sorry. I have this planned out to how I want it written and everything. Iâve just been so busy with work and my personal life that I havenât been able to write like I would want to. So please be patient with meâ¤ď¸
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this has been in my mind for weeks. i desperately need a forearm riding fic. specifically with daniel but honestly it would be hot with any of the guys.
oooh, i donât think iâve seen this done before. and i could definitely make it daniel! this is interesting, let me get to working on it����
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The slow burn is killing me. But I know it will be worth it. AHHHHH
The Ripe and The Ruin - (Chapter 2)
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader
Word Count: 15.7k
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Touching.
Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify
A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.
"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."
JAKE POV
âDid you hear me, Jake?â
Your head snaps to the side, your mind refocusing on the conversation being had around you. Josh stares at you with a questioning look on his face, his arms crossed against his chest.Â
âWhat? Yeah,â you lie, âThat sounds fine.â
âYouâre not even listening to me. I asked if you knew what time the van was supposed to be here... Whatâs up with you? Where are you this morning?â he asks, his tone a little more defensive than usual.Â
âHuh?â Your eyes flick back to the elevator, your heart beating a little faster than usual as the caffeine starts to swirl around in your bloodstream. You know that any second Y/N is going to step off that elevator and join the rest of you in the lobby.Â
You canât seem to shake the kiss from your mind, falling asleep last night playing it over and over in your head. The way her lips felt, soft and warm and so pink. You arenât really sure why you decided to do it. You werenât going to, but youâre glad you did. Youâd thought of nothing else since, and after the little exchange you had after the fact, you were feeling something that you didnât feel too often, if ever. Nervous.Â
You didnât even know what you were going to say to her today. What do you say after something like that? Should you say anything at all? You know you pushed a professional boundary last night, on the very first night no less. She is your employee, and you are her boss and those two things typically donât mix well. But you felt something, something you havenât felt in a long time, and you are certain she must have felt it too.Â
You look back to Josh, suddenly realizing that if youâre feeling nervous, heâs going to pick up on it. You try to compose yourself, adjusting your jacket on your shoulders and your sunglasses on your nose before turning your full attention back to him.Â
âSorry, just jet lag. I think itâs supposed to be here at 10:00,â you pause, glancing at your watch. âItâs 9:56 right now.â
âSince when do you wear a fuckinâ wrist watch? Are you eighty-five?â he quips, huffing a laugh.Â
You suck your teeth at him, raising a brow. âSince now, fuck you.â
He changes the subject, turning to Sam and Daniel just as the elevator chimes and the doors start to open. Your heart is beating erratically at this point, and you curse yourself for it. You should not be feeling like this. It was one kiss, Jake. It didnât even mean anything. It was for show.
Right?
You swallow nervously, licking your lips as people start to step out of the elevator. You try to look like youâre engaged in the conversation happening in front of you, but youâre not. She wonât know that though. Your eyes are fixed on the elevator, waiting for your first glimpse of her this morning. Sheâs one of the very last to step out, her hair hanging in her face as she focuses on her phone. You hear Paul call her name, waving her over towards him and Wes with paperwork in hand.Â
She looks up just long enough to spot them, returning her gaze to her phone to finish up whatever it is sheâs doing. She steps up to them, just out of your immediate sight, but you can still hear them talking as they greet her. Out of the corner of your eye you see Paul hand her the piece of paper he was waving, telling her that the venue has the official hospitality rider, but that the highlighted items needed to be picked up and brought to the venue by her. A chill runs up your spine. What did you request? Why canât you remember what you asked for? Fuck.Â
She turns her head as Wes and Paul continue to talk. You can feel her eyes on you, burning into the side of your head as Josh drones on about German water quality. You want to look at her, in fact, youâre dying to see that same pink blush that colored her cheeks last night, but you donât turn your head. You force yourself to pretend she isnât even there. You stare off into the distance, letting your mind wander, the noise around you turning into a hum.Â
âJakeâŚâ Josh shouts, snapping his fingers in front of your face, âHello? Are you braindead suddenly?â
âFuck, sorry. WhatâŚâ you growl, refocusing again.Â
âGet with it man, I said the van is here. Letâs go,â he answers, nodding towards the door as he follows the rest of the crew outside.Â
You walk with your hands in your pockets, letting your thumb nail glide over each fingertip in an attempt to bring you back down to earth. You need to get your head right. Snap out of it. You fall to the back of the group, waiting for everyone to load into the two black vans, ready to take you to your venue for the evening. Before you could stop yourself you were looking over your shoulder for her, catching her eyes for the briefest moment before looking away. Fuck, sheâs so pretty.
âYou want the window?â Josh asks, elbowing your arm.Â
âHuh? Yeah thatâs fineâŚâ you answer blankly, your mind still flooded with the image of her. As you turn back to Josh you see his focus change, locking in on Y/N as she steps up to the two of you. The very last thing you expected.Â
âHi, good morning, feeling any better?â she asks. You look to her, then to Josh, remembering he sent her out for medicine last night. You're completely frozen in place as the two of them speak, and youâre sure your face is showing exactly what youâre feeling. Panic.
Josh looks at you for a second, then back to Y/N, very obviously picking up on the nerves pulsing through you as he snickers. âYesâŚIâŚamâŚThank you again for doing that last night. I appreciate it.â
You can smell her perfume as it dances through the air, the same sweet floral smell from the plane yesterday. You canât help but to turn your head and look at her, your eyes drifting to the column of her neck where you know the smell is even stronger. You imagine the way it would feel to kiss her there. The taste of her skin. The sounds she would make. The feeling of her rapid pulse beneath your lipsâŚ
Shit. No.Â
âNo problem at all, Josh. Let me know if I can grab you anything else,â she smiles, âIâm off to the market!â
She looks at you for just a second waiting to see if youâre going to say anything, but you donât, instead offering her a curt smile and nodding your head. Smooth. Really nice, Jake. Â
She walks away, heading towards the second van with Wes and the rest of management and you feel a wave of relief wash through. You had a little more time to get your head right before you talked to her. You let out a breath, your eyes flicking over to Josh who is looking at you with a knowing look on his face. You shake your head and walk away, ready to load into the van with your backpack slung over your shoulder. Your heart is beating fairly hard and you haven't even spoken to her. Why is she having this effect on you?
You settle on the bench seat, Josh and Ty sliding in next to you. You place your backpack between your legs and pull your phone from your coat pocket, pretending to busy yourself to avoid the conversation you already know is coming.
The app isnât even open yet before Josh starts to speak, âAlright letâs hear it, Jake. â
You know thereâs no use in pretending to be busy, he wonât stop until you answer him. You lock your phone and slide it back into your pocket letting out an aggravated sigh.Â
âHear what, Josh? Why do you already want to start this morning, huh? Canât I have a moment of peace?â
âOh please, I could feel your fucking heart pounding like it was in my own chest!â He tilts his head to the side in an attempt to force the truth out of you. He knows he's got you cornered and he wants you to admit it.Â
You tilt your head mimicking him, giving him a look he knows well. You nod your head, silently telling him that youâll talk later. Now is not the time or place for any of it.
He stares at you blankly for a second, finally relenting as he turns back towards Ty. Safe for now. You needed to figure this out, quick.
You ride to the venue, listening to everyoneâs conversations but offering very little to them. You scroll through your phone, trying your best to keep to yourself, but perking your head up as Josh grabs your attention.Â
âThat reminds me, I talked to Paul. He said itâs going to take a week or so to get more security over here. Corri said she applied for the work visas this morning. Should have some guys over here in less than a week at the latest.â
âGood. Couldâve used someone last night,â you grumble, immediately regretting even letting the words slip from your mouth.Â
Joshâs head snaps over to you, a serious look in his eyes. âWhat do you mean? At the airport?â
You know you canât lie. He will know immediately. âNo, umâ Just after we checked in. Itâs nothing.â
âLast I talked to you, you were ordering room service and going to bed?â he asks, genuinely confused. Fuck, fuck, figure it out Jake.
âYeah, I did, justâ A little thing late last night. Everything ended up being fine. Isolated incident. Weâve got more security coming, it's all good,â you say, hoping he wonât press you on it any further, but as he looks at you with a threatening scowl you know youâll be recounting every last detail before the day is through.
â
Show days always bring along chaotic mornings that slowly mold into semi-peaceful afternoons, filled with warming your fingers up and psyching your mind up to perform. The four of you always try to keep show days generally the same, with giving yourselves a little bit of downtime before you have to arrive back at the venue after sound check. Today though, the day of the very first show, has already made your head feel like it is going to spin right off your neck. You can feel Joshâs prying eyes watching your every move, waiting for the opportune moment to jump down your throat again.Â
âGonna go grab something to drink from the green room, you guys want anything?â Sam asks you and Josh as you fumble around with the wireless mechanisms on your guitar.Â
âNah, Iâll get something in a minute,â you reply, watching as he and Danny descend the stairs off the stage and disappear out of sight.Â
Of course, within seconds your twin is inches from your face, somehow making himself seem bigger than you. âAlright, you gonna tell me about this little incident last night? Or am I gonna have to force it out of you?â he presses, and you know damn well that if you donât give him just the tiniest bit of explanation, he wonât let up. âWouldnât have happened to involve our new runner, would it?â
You sigh a heavy sigh, readjusting the blue-tinted glasses sitting on your nose. âCan you lay the fuck off for like two seconds? Jesus ChristâŚâ you back away, anxiously rubbing your hand over your mouth as you try to think of what to even say.Â
âDonât avoid the question, asshole. Tell me now. While everyoneâs gone,â he goes on, closing in on you again.Â
You bite your cheeks in, still contemplating. You stay silent, instead strumming a single chord on your guitar in response to him. You hear it echo across the empty venue, smirking to yourself. Sounds perfect.
âFuck you. Always doing that shit when youâre trying to avoid me. Drowning me out with your loud ass amps⌠alright. Fine,â Josh readjusts the hat on his head and stomps away across the stage. âIf you wonât tell me, Iâll just go ask her.â
All the blood quickly drains from your body. âOkay, okay, fuck. Come here,â you hold your hand up and signal him back, because you know for a fact he actually would have gone and found her. You stretch the muscles in your neck, rolling your shoulder beneath your guitar strap.Â
âY/N went out to a pub last night to get something to eat and have a drink, there was some creep there trying to take her home, wouldnât let up. She didnât tell Dean where she was going because it was so late, and she remembered I had⌠She had my number, so she asked me to come and walk her back to the hotel. Thatâs it.â
Josh eyes you with his lips pursed closed, trying to get a read if there was anything you were leaving out. Heâs gonna know, of course heâs gonna knowâŚ
â...Thatâs it?â
âThatâs it,â you concede. âIt happened really fast and the place was just around the corner from the hotel. I made it there in like two minutes. Guy was being a complete asshole to her,â you shake your head in disgust at the memory.Â
Josh crosses his arms across his chest as he exhales, squinting his eyes. âMmh, so you played hero, huh? I think thereâs more to the story than your little rescue mission⌠but. So she just happened to have your phone number, and no one elseâs? Like Paulâs perhaps?â You really need him to quit with the attitude.Â
âWe sat together on the plane for like, a hundred hours, Josh. Yes. She has my phone number because we were talking about her job duties. She will get the rest of yours eventually, Iâm sure. I was just first. FuckâŚâ you begin to wave him off as you start to feel overwhelmed with his twenty questions.Â
Luckily, Sam and Danny are coming back onto the stage now, the pounding of Dannyâs repetitive kick drum drowning out the sound of Joshâs persistence.Â
Joshâs eyes are squinting at you again as he takes the microphone in his right hand, turning away from it just enough for you to hear him. âIâll get to the bottom of this. As a wise man once said, itâs very interestingâŚâ
â
HER POV
Your legs carry you quickly through the winding halls to the green room. You can barely see over the brown paper bags in your hands, loaded full to the top with the items on your list this morning. It was a little more difficult of a task than you anticipated, but the translator app on your phone proved to be your best friend. You knew you had to be quick and you did your best, hoping that the items you found would suffice.Â
You push the door open with your foot, looking for the empty table where the items needed to be set up. You saw a few things that the venue provided sitting on a mostly empty wooden table, and knew thatâs where you needed to set up. You plop the heavy paper bags down, smiling as you notice a few drinks have already been scavenged.Â
You begin pulling things from the bags, setting up the fruit and vegetable trays, and starting to place a variety of drinks into an ice bucket. You pull the paper list from your back pocket, making sure you have everything out for each guy and that you didnât miss anything in your hurried state. As you make your way down the list you hear the door swing open and a rumble of voices enter the room.Â
You turn to find Josh stepping into the room with Jake flanking him as they talk. Your breath instantly catches in your chest as you make eye contact with Jake through his tinted sunglasses. His hair is a little more wavy today, curling up at the ends and resting just below his shoulders. It looks soft and you know it probably smells good as it flies through the air as he walks. His black button up is hanging loosely on his body, a sliver of his chest visible, but you tear your eyes away from him and turn back to your task. Youâre at work.Â
âThere she is! Howâs it going, Y/N? Things goinâ your way this morning?â Josh asks, walking over towards you with a smile.Â
It strikes you as strange, his over friendly greeting, especially when youâd talked more to Jake than to him and Jake hadnât even said hello to you today. You shake off the feeling and return the sentiment, turning to face the both of them.Â
âHi guys! Everything is good I think! Just getting all of this set up for you, sorry it took me so long. I was struggling with the German labels,â you smile, letting your eyes flick over to Jake. Heâs standing quietly behind Josh, not saying much but listening intently, eyes locked in on you.Â
âOh, no youâre fine, no rush at all. Weâve got hours until we go on,â he pauses, turning to Jake then back to you. âI heard about the little incident at the bar last night. Glad everything turned out okay for you, but just wanted you to know weâve got some more security coming this week. Should have someone that can head out with you from now on,â Josh finishes, nodding his head. His phone starts to ring before you can respond and he quickly pulls it from his pocket, glancing down at the screen with a sly smile.
âAhh, itâs Ty, I gotta take this. Iâll be back. Thanks for this, Y/N. Looks great!â he says, swiping a water bottle from the table and making his way out of the room as he answers the call.Â
You realize quickly that Jake did not follow him and is standing with his hands in his pockets eyeing the table behind you. Your mouth feels dry, any words you thought you would say suddenly stuck in your throat. You turn around and busy your hands trying to think of anything you can say that wonât sound stupid.Â
Your heart is pounding rapidly as you feel him moving towards you, taking the place next to you as he taps his fingers across the wooden table. He doesnât say anything, but you can tell he is struggling in the same way you are. The tension between you is almost tangible.
You reach into the paper bag, pulling the box of beers from the bottom and setting them on the table. You knew this had to be his request, the rider stating that a case of local craft beer was required.Â
You push the box in front of him, looking at him as it slides across the table. âThis was what was recommended for local beer. Was the best I could find, I didnât know if you liked light beer or dark beer, so I guessed. The cashier couldnât have been a day over nineteen, so I didnât exactly trust his opinion, butââÂ
You watch his face shift into a smile, a dimple popping out on his cheek as he nods through a laugh, âThis looks great, really.â
âAgain, I couldnât read anything in German, and the translator was really no help on this one,â you smile, feeling the tension between you starting to melt away.Â
He opens the box, pulling out the amber colored bottle and bringing it close to his face. He looks at it for a few seconds, attempting to read the label himself before finally shrugging his shoulders. âNo clue what that says, but looks perfect. Thank you, Y/N.â
You feel yourself blushing at the sound of your name leaving his lips, and you hope he canât see the heat spreading across your cheeks. He picks up the bottle and places the lid on the edge of the table, hitting it with his fist with just enough pressure to pop off the lid. It skitters across the table as he brings the bottle to his lips, taking a long pull of what you now see is a light beer.Â
âSâperfect,â he says, swallowing it down.. âYou uh, you wanna try it?â
You feel a flash of panic wash over you. You canât, right?
âI donât think I can? Right? Iâm at work. And I have like a thousand things to do,â you stammer, dying to say yes.Â
âSâjust me, I wonât tell if you donât,â he offers, peering at you above the frames of his sunglasses. You can see his brown eyes staring into yours, and you feel your insides melting into putty. You know you need to change the subject, and quick.Â
You quickly decide to decline the beer, knowing that you need every single ounce of clearheadedness for the evening you are about to endure. âAre you guys done already? That seemed⌠quick,â you pose, trying to turn your attention back to your duties to fill the awkward silence.Â
âUh no, not quite, theyâre just working with Josh right now,â he answers, stuffing his free hand in his pocket and taking another swig of his beer.Â
âAh,â you reply, slotting a strand of hair behind your ear as the awkwardness continues to grow. You know heâs just being nice, but you wished to god he would just go somewhere else to save you both the anxiety of acknowledging the elephant in the room. Alright. Get it together, Y/N. Youâre both adults, just speak your piece and get it over with. You take a quick breath, preparing yourself. âSo, what version of the story did Josh get?â
Jake nearly spits out his beer as your words hit him. âWhat? What story?â he asks, wiping the dribble of beer off his chin.Â
âI know you told him about last night, heâs being so overly nice to me it almost seems fake. Heâs buttering me up, isnât he?â you say, a bit of bite in your tone. Truly, you wonder exactly what Jake told him, and if it was the same story you remember.
Jake sucks his teeth as he looks away from you. âA very condensed one. Donât worry.â His words are blunt and pointed.Â
âOkay⌠so he doesnât know about⌠ya knowâŚâ you dance around the word, you donât even dare even say it.Â
âNo,â he cuts you off. âNo. I didnât go into that much detail. It⌠it didnât even matter anyway, right?â
âŚIt didnât matter?Â
It didnât matter. Oh.Â
âRight. No. Didnât matter at all,â you agree, feeling the knife turning in your chest. âWe had to do what we had to do to get out of there.â
âYeah, was nothing.â
Nothing?
Itâs quiet and awkward again as you try to brush off your feelings, suppressing the memory of the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands on your waist, his body pressing up against yoursâŚ
Youâve kissed a lot of people in your life, and youâre mature enough to know the difference between when someone wants to kiss you, and when someone justâŚis kissing you. And though you hate to admit it to yourself, Jake wanted to kiss you. There was no doubt about it. Chemistry is tangible. And the tension that formed between you last night during those few short seconds was nothing short of it. Pure chemistry. Ease. Like it was natural. And you werenât too dumb to realize it.
But⌠apparently he was.Â
Suddenly you hear the sound of the bass strumming out into the air, signaling that it was time to get things going again.Â
âRight. But uh, sounds like I gotta um, get back out there. So⌠thanks for um, thanks for the beers,â Jake backpedals and turns away toward the door as you return to your duties, busying your mind and hands again. Fuck, that couldnât have gone any worse.Â
You watch as he slams his body into the metal exit door, but stopping short when it doesnât budge. He pushes on it again, but it stands firm. You watch him struggle for just a few seconds before you decide to help him out.Â
âPull, Jake,â you say, stifling a laugh.Â
He yanks on the handle, the door flying open before him. âOh, yeah. Got it.â
You can see the pink rise to his cheeks as he makes his quick exit, and the laugh you were stifling finally busts through. Youâd managed to get Jake Kiszka flustered.Â
The sounds of the whole band echo down the hall, and you know you have a few free minutes to yourself, without the risk of one of them barging in again. Your mind drifts into autopilot as you finish setting up, replaying the last few minutes over and over in your head.Â
1. Josh knows. Well, Josh knows something.
2. The kiss⌠apparently it didnât mean anything to Jake. Just a careless action to get the weird man off your back. Of course it didnât mean anything to him. Heâs a famous rock star, he probably kisses girls all the time⌠right? And makes playlists for them. And adds his favorite songs to them just so they can listen along. And tells them that he fully intends to kiss them again. Right?
3. He was flustered leaving through that door just now. He fumbled. He blushed. People that donât care donât blush. Thatâs just basic science.Â
Everything is overwhelming your thoughts; you need assistance, and you need it now. You take one last look at the table in front of you, deciding that it is to your liking before dashing out the door to the back exit. You pull your phone from your pocket and bring up Ruthâs contact, hearing it ring out just a couple of times before her voice is yelling your name on the other end.Â
âShit, about time! Iâve been fucking dying over here!â she shouts into your ear, her voice full of excitement and rush. âIâve been scrolling their instagrams and TikToks and shit all. Fucking. Day, Y/N. When were you gonna tell me theyâre all hot as fuck, huh? And theyâre brothers?! Like real life brothers, except the one, right? But they were kids when they met?! Why is that so cute? Imagine having that much talent in one household. Shit, in one town! I bet their parents were exhausted like, always. And their MUSIC⌠hello? The guitarist is mindblowing, dude. And you kissed that man? On the lips?! Like full on contact, right? Was there tongue? Did he get into it? Where were you? I need to know all of these things in massive detail stat, bitch.â Ruth is absolutely rambling, and you know if you donât cut her off soon, you will never get a chance to speak at all.Â
âYes, Ruthie, I kissed the hot guitarist,â you confirm quietly, glancing around to be sure youâre alone. âNo, not really any tongue. We were in a restaurant, and the vibe was kinda strange, so. It didnât last long, but god, it was hotâŚâ you trail off, reminiscing for just a second. Youâre truly unable to get the feeling of his lips out of your head. âYes, three brothers, two twins, one honorary brother that might as well be. I havenât gotten a chance to truly get to know them all yet, so my details are skimpy. But listen, Iâm trying to stay professional, okayââ
âHun, if youâre lip-locking with that brown-eyed man on the first day you are wayyyyyyy past professional, Iâm just saying,â she wails into a condescending laugh.Â
âNo Iâm fucking not!â you yell back, fully prepared to tell her exactly why it was warranted. âListen, hereâs what happenedâŚâ you do as she says, and go into grave detail about the events on the plane, and in the restaurant, and the sweet additions to the playlist when you got back to your hotel room. You spared no detail because if Ruth is good at anything, itâs collecting specifics and cataloging them away, only to one day effortlessly put them all together into one big beautiful puzzle laid out for you on a shining silver platter. She has a knack for thinking of things realistically rather than living in a fairy tale, and youâre thankful for it. She keeps your sometimes wandering thoughts in check.Â
âShit, babe⌠what are you gonna do?â her voice was calmed now that youâve caught her up.Â
âI donât know, everything is just⌠happening really fast.â The early evening breeze blows your hair, and you can hear the distant chatter of their fans lined up and camping just around the corner of the building. Itâs almost showtime.Â
âI know whatâs gonna happen,â Ruth states matter of factly. âHeâs gonna add another song soon, you watch.â
âYou think? He left things kind of⌠awkward just now, I really donât think that he meant what he said last night, he was just caught up inââ
âY/N, he wouldnât say he fully intends to kiss you after you tell him to Do It Again⌠men lie but that seems⌠I dunnoâŚâ she goes on. âJust, donât make me wait so long between now and the next thing, okay? I know youâre busy kicking ass but please keep me informedâŚâ she begs.Â
âI will babe. I actually think itâs time for me to go. I promise I will text you tonight, okay?â
âIâll be staring at my phone. Good luck,â she replies, and you end the call with a quiet goodbye.Â
â
You take special care wrapping the steaming hot tea bag around the spoon, squeezing out the water before tossing it in the trash. Your eyes scan the table for the Whiskey, pouring in a shot or so to mix with the honey at the bottom. Joshâs instructions were very clear and you have made sure to follow them exactly, not wanting to miss a single step. You stir up the boiling hot drink and push it to the side, ready to start on Dannyâs. You grab the metal cup and add a scoop of ice, your eyes searching for the bottle of Tequila.Â
You feel your phone buzz in your back pocket as you pour the tequila into the cup, topping it off with soda water. You pull your phone out as you wait for the fizz to subside, but the sight on the screen steals away your focus.Â
âJake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: đĽâ
Oh my god Ruth was right.
You quickly swipe open the notification with shaking hands, waiting as the shitty venue wi-fi tries to load the playlist. Isnât he getting dressed right now? Isnât he busy? Why is he doing this?
It finally loads and you scroll to the bottom, laughing to yourself as you see the song he added two minutes ago, âBack In Blackâ by AC/DC. You know the song well, but much like you did last night, you search your mind for what he is trying to say. You think on the lyrics, nothing really sticking out to you in regards to the situation the two of you have found yourself in, but you press play anyway, listening to the familiar and catchy intro. It has to mean something, right? You nod your head along with the song as you finish making everyoneâs drinks, blushing to yourself as you realize that he was thinking about you.Â
Should you reply? Is there even a response to that? You donât even really know what he is trying to say. You pick up your phone from the table and begin to search through your favorites, seeing if there is anything that could serve as a worthwhile reply but youâre quickly interrupted by the door being flung open and Paul grabbing your attention.Â
âTwo minutes âtil stage, guys are walking,â he says, and just like that he disappears again.Â
You shove your phone in your pocket and snatch up all the drinks, quickly following after him with your armful of drinks. Your heart starts to race, you can feel the adrenaline filling the building, the ground is rumbling with the sound of the intro music and the screams of anxious fans.Â
You position yourself at the base of the stairs, knowing they will grab their drinks from you as they make their way onto the stage. The chaos and commotion backstage is overwhelming, and you find yourself starting to pick up on the nervous, frazzled energy. Sam is the first to spot you with an eager grin, plucking the grapefruit Topo Chico from your hand as he scurries across the stage to place it on his amp. Daniel is not far behind him, drumsticks in hand as he approaches you with a shy smile.
âOne of those for me?â he asks playfully, reaching for his metal cup.Â
âAll yours! Have a good show!â you answer, watching him walk up the stairs and towards his kit.Â
The lights are starting to dim, the music growing louder as the time draws closer. You donât see Josh, or Jake for that matter, and you find it a little strange that there was no drink request for Jake, but you chalk it up to him likely not having time to drink much during the show. Suddenly Josh appears from the hallway, a vision in white satin, looking almost ethereal. He is frantically putting in his in-ears, and reaching for his mic, eyes locking on you as you hold out his tea towards him.
âAhh, excellent, thank you so much, letâs have a good show, yeah?â he smiles, squeezing your shoulder as he bounds up the stairs to place his drink on Dannyâs platform. Youâre so caught up in watching Josh float around the stage in a cloud of white chiffon and crystals that you donât notice that Jake is walking towards you.Â
When you do turn around you find him only a few feet away, the stage lights catching the black beads of his suit coat, sparkling like onyx. The satin suit is fit to his body, leaving very little to the imagination. His jacket is open, his chest bare save for a few silver necklaces he seems to always be wearing. This is the most of him youâd seen at this point, and the definition of his chest and the lingering tan on his skin has you breaking out into a cold sweat. You swallow harshly as you see the eyeliner he has added to his waterline, and you feel yourself physically backing up to brace yourself on the stair rail behind you. Holy shit.
You find yourself wishing you had a drink for him, anything actually, just to have an excuse to talk to him. His guitar tech meets him as he walks, twisting the knob on his wireless receiver and handing Jake the vintage red Gibson. He tosses the strap over his shoulder, positioning it across his body and releasing his hair from beneath the strap. You watch him as he mouths a muffled âthank youâ to Johnny, giving him a grateful smile as he continues to walk. Â
The stage lights behind you have shifted, and the music is coming to a close. He has to be on stage in seconds but itâs as if he is on his own time, moving so effortlessly through the dimly lit wing. The lights hit him just right and his eyes meet yours in a smug grin. Suddenly the song makes sense. His suit is completely custom, hand beaded, all black satin. Fucking hell, the cockiness of this man.
You expect him to climb the stairs to meet his brothers, but instead he steps up to you, resting his hand on the body of his guitar. âNothing for me?â he asks, arching a brow and flashing you a sideways smile.Â
âTheâ the list! There wasnât anything on the list for you, Iââ
The lights overhead are starting to flash, the crew calling for thirty seconds through the walkie-talkies. You glance around panicked that you clearly missed the memo on a drink for Jake. Fuck!
He smiles at you as he laughs, âIâm just kidding, I donât put it on the list with theirs. I bring my own.â
âWell where is it?!â you ask, a hint of panic in your voice.
âAh, I left it in the greenroom. Was a bitâŚbusy with something else,â he says, trying to stifle a smile.
You can barely hear him, doing your best to read his lips over the shrill screaming coming from the crowd. He seems to sense this, leaning towards you and placing his hand on your shoulder. His lips brush against your ear as his fingertips press into your skin. You can feel his guitar pressed against your stomach, his fingers guarding the strings, âDo you know where my backpack is?â he asks, whispering into your ear.Â
You shake your head, and truth be told the proximity of this manâs mouth to your body has you unable to even remember your own name, let alone where his backpack is.Â
His fingers tap your shoulder as he holds it, pulling away his head just slightly to look at you. He licks his lips and leans back in, âItâs in the corner of the dressing room, by the couch. Go find it for me? My drink is in there.â
âJake, stage left go,â the walkie calls out, and he pulls away again, giving you a smug smile.
You look at him, taking him in completely before he steps onto the stage. âWait, Jake! Your in-ears! Where are your monitors?!â you shout in a panic.
He smiles and laughs as his hand squeezes your bicep, tilting his head down a little and letting his eyes peer into yours, âI donât wear in-ears, baby.âÂ
He pulls away quickly, sprinting up the steps, looking over his shoulder at you one last time before disappearing out of view. Baby? Did he just call you baby? Your heart is pounding in your chest as you try to catch your breath. You feel frozen in place, only spinning your body enough to watch the four of them take their places on the platform at the back of the stage. Jake is on the very end, running a hand through his hair, just as the music stops and the curtain falls in front of them. The crowd screams violently as Josh starts to speak, nodding to Jake to kick things off.Â
Danny jumps down off the platform and onto his kit, as Sam prances down the steps with his bass. The guitar sounds fill the venue as Jake starts to make his way down the shiny metallic steps. His eyes flick over to the side stage, catching yours for a moment as a smile lights up his face. You are in complete shock, surely this is not the man you kissed last night. The man that was stumbling over his words today, and pushing a pull doorâŚ?Â
His hand lifts from the guitar for just a second as he motions a signal for âdrinkâ to you as if heâs holding an invisible cup to his lips. You quickly snap out of it when you remember his instructions. You tear yourself away, making your way back to the green room in search of his backpack. The room is quiet when you enter, empty, not a soul in sight. You can hear the rumble of the bass in your chest as your eyes scan the room for the black leather backpack, finally spotting it behind the couch.Â
You walk over to it, crouching down in front of it and lifting the flap. You unzip the top finding it full to the brim. Your hands are shaking as you carefully sift through his things. His phone is on the very top of the pile, a black leather case with an embossed âJTKâ on the bottom right corner. Your heart flutters in your chest knowing that he adds the songs to your playlist from this very phone. You toss it aside, continuing to look through the bag, your fingers snagging on his tangled pile of headphones. You work quickly to untangle them, wrapping the cord around itself in a neat coil before dropping them back into the bag. Your hands find a change of clothes, a pair of black pants and a white t-shirt nestled under a pair of printed black boxers. Your breath catches as you realize what youâre touching but you try not to think too much of it. Find his drink.Â
Your hands feel around at the very bottom of the bag, finding dozens of guitar picks, a capo, a few hair ties, what feels like maybe his wallet, a glasses case, and a passport book. Your fingers land on something glass, and you pull it from the bag, but quickly find out itâs not what youâre looking for. This is a bottle of cologne, fairly expensive from the looks of it. You look around the room before pulling off the small silver cap, and breathing in the scent you remember from last night. Fuck it smells so good.Â
Put it away, Y/N.Â
You push everything over to the other side of the bag, finally spotting what you were looking for front and center. You grab the neck of the wine bottle, pulling out the entirely full bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Interesting choice for him, but you guess you donât really know too much about him just yet.
You quickly zip up his bag and rush over to the drink table, grabbing the metal chalice and filling it to the brim with his white wine. It sloshes over the edge a bit as you rush back out to the stage, doing your very best not to spill it in its entirety before it even makes it to him.Â
Youâre positively out of breath by the time you make it to the stairs, your hand dripping with the sticky wine as you watch Jake just stepping into a guitar solo. He walks across the front of the stage engaging with the crowd on the barricade, his fingers moving faster than lightning through a song you can honestly say youâve never heard. You know you will get to know these songs very well over the next few months, and what better way to hear them than live.Â
You peek around the curtain as you watch him crouch down, standing quickly to throw his head back, the faint echo of his voice as he yells to his guitar drifting to the side stage. His body is covered in sweat and his hair sticks to his neck as he catches sight of you with his drink. You hear a few people talking behind you but you canât seem to care, or rip your eyes away from him. He is a completely different person on stage than the man you sat next to on the plane, and even in the bar last night, and to be quite honest, you didnât know which version of him you wanted more.Â
JAKE POV
The spotlight descends away from you as you finish out your solo, the crowd already going absolutely wild. It feels so good to be back here again, allowing yourself to get immersed in the feeling of the instrument in your hands and the effect it has on the people listening and watching. Sweat is already pouring from your face and chest, and youâre only three songs in. For a second, youâd completely forgotten that youâd sent Y/N on a mission for your drink.Â
You hope sheâs finding it, given you had kind of hidden the backpack behind a couch to stay out of plain sight. In the back of your mind, you quickly picture her picking through the bag stuffed with your things, and you smirk when you realize she probably is seeing a bit more into your personal life than she had anticipated, tonight. But for some reason, you donât feel embarrassed by it.Â
You back up toward your amps as Josh continues to sing, and you see her from the corner of your eye, standing side-stage with your chalice in hand. Oh, so sheâs a good listener. Noted.Â
Now that you arenât at the center of attention, you realize you are a bit thirsty. The four of you finish out the song and the lights go down, and you take the opportunity to run to her to grab your drink.Â
You haphazardly grab it as she hands it to you with utmost caution, handling it as if it were made of gold.Â
âShit!â You canât help but laugh out loud, noticing that the rather large cup is filled all the way to the brim with your wine. You take a big gulp down to empty it a little.Â
âSorry, sorry careful, I didnât know how much you wanted and I assumed you wouldnât want refills!â she crams all her words together into one big sentence as you chuckle at her again. Damn, even in the dim lighting you can see how pretty she is. Your heart literally skips a beat as she finally meets your eyes.Â
âSâokay, this is perfect. Thank youâŚâ you whisper as you place a quick hand onto her waist, backing yourself away from her. Should you have touched her there? Maybe not, but it just happened. You make your way back over to set the cup down safely in a place you know it wonât spill. You make quick eye contact with Danny as he waits for you to cue him in to the next one, but his look is laced with something else, curiosity. He definitely saw your encounter. And he knows that you normally donât place your hand ever-so-gently on your runnerâs waists. Fuck fuck fuck.Â
You return his prying eyes with an upturned chin, silently telling him to mind his own business. You finish out the show, feeling good again as you begin to show off just a little. You always show off, but for some reason, this time feels more important. You have someone to show off for.Â
You glance to the side stage again and see that Y/N is standing with Ty, Mia, and Lyla as they watch the show. That feels strange, you think to yourself, seeing her grouped together with all your brothersâ significant others, getting along and talking closely. Your stomach churns at the thought of actually liking it.Â
No, Jake. No. You know this isnât right.
Twenty minutes later you find yourself waving goodbye to what was one hell of a crowd, and you join the other three as you descend the stairs to backstage. Your ears are ringing as you walk through the darkness toward the light of the hallway, realizing that she is the first person you see when you finally get there. Sheâs standing with Paul, listening to his instructions as she hands each of you a clean black towel. Youâre last in line, and you grin a little as she tosses your towel to you instead of the gentle handoff she did for your brothers.Â
The tiniest smile crosses her face as she keeps intent eye contact with Paul, taking in all of his words when you know her mind is racing with thoughts of you. Her face blushes with pink as you pass her. That wasnât unnoticed, babe.Â
You rush back to the green room to try and beat Danny to the shower, knowing that he is probably already stripped down and getting inside. When you find your prediction to be true, you decide to take off your jacket and kick back on the black leather couch to finish off your heavy-handed pour of wine.Â
âYou guys wanna go to this bar I found?â Josh proposes.Â
âBit dangerous right after a show, donât you think?â Sam chimes as he hangs his satin jacket on the rolling rack.Â
âThis one is like, 6 blocks away and kind of hidden. Probably wonât be anyone there, I did some research. Plus they have Fernet Branca. I need a few shots to keep this fuckinâ cold at bay,â Josh explains as Ty starts to help him remove the rhinestones from his face.Â
âBleugh, I donât see how you drink that nasty shit,â Sam says with disgust.Â
Josh scoffs at him. âMight be nasty, but it fucking works!â
You lean over the arm of the couch and retrieve your backpack, sifting through to find your clean change of clothes. You smile as you realize she more than likely saw your black boxers covered in flamingos. As you zip the bag back up, you notice your earbuds sitting at the bottom of the bag. They had been rolled into a perfect flat coil, with the wire tucked and tied into itself. Your heart sinks when you realize she had taken the time to sort them for you, probably remembering the mess of tangled wires on the plane.Â
Should you add a song?Â
No. You did already. Get it together. This woman has your mind running marathons.Â
But a bar as a distraction? Perfect.Â
âYeah, letâs go check it out. Iâm getting a shower,â you make the executive decision as you stand from the couch, slapping Dannyâs towel-covered ass as you pass him on your way to the bathroom.Â
ââ
âJake, you cominâ or what?â Sam asks, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.Â
âYeah, give me a sec,â you answer, pretending to fumble through your backpack. He nods and heads out the door with Lyla, leaving you alone in the greenroom.Â
You haven't seen Y/N since you came off the stage, panting, filled with adrenaline, and in desperate need of a towel. You showered quickly and changed into your clothes, hoping you wouldnât miss her coming into the green room. You were going to ask her to join you at the bar, and you were hoping she would say yes. Though, you havenât seen her, and now thirty minutes have passed and the van is leaving. You consider sending her a text, but remember there was no response to your last song. It had been your feeble attempt to lighten the tension from earlier in the day, so you figure you should let it be. Tonight was probably crazy for her, and you want her to ride the post show high as long as she can.Â
You throw your backpack over your shoulder and make the trek to the van, finding everyone rearing and ready to hit the bar. A drink does sound good, a stiff one. You slam the door shut and let out a sigh, feeling the van pull out of the gates and into traffic. You see a few fans lined up against the fence hoping to catch a peek at the four of you, so you all wave through the window praying they wonât follow you.Â
You kick yourself for being this caught up over a woman you met only yesterday. This was not supposed to happen. You wanted to clear your head, not screw it up even more. You took in a deep breath, letting it pass through your lips as the van rounded the corner and came to a stop in front of the bar. You couldnât read the name of the bar, something foreign in burned out neon, but Josh seemed to know that you were at the right place. You all stepped out of the van, making your way into the decently crowded bar. You were thankful that no one seemed to notice you, the group of you making your way to the back of the bar and piling into a round wooden booth.Â
Josh volunteers to grab the first round, and you signal to him for your usual, not needing to say a word for him to understand. Lyla and Mia instantly strike up a conversation about the show, Sam and Daniel hanging on their every word. You listen to what theyâre saying, pretending to be engaged in the conversation, but your mind wanders quickly. The exhaustion of your body is starting to set in, mixed with the already present jet lag, you feel yourself spiraling quickly. You know that drink will bring you back to life though, and you hope Josh hurries.Â
You wonder where Y/N is. What she is doing. What she thought of the show. If she felt that same electricity you did when you touched her. You quickly shake your head of the thoughts, returning to the present when Josh sets your drink down in front of you.Â
He and Ty slide in next to you as the rest of the group starts to sip on their own drinks. You straighten in your seat, trying to give everyone a little more space as Josh starts to speak.Â
âHell of a kick offâŚâÂ
âYeah, no fuck ups either,â Sam adds, elbowing Danny.Â
âJake? Notes?â Josh nods, waiting for you to add your two cents.
âYeah, yeah I think it was a good show, need to keep that energy for the rest of the run. Think that transition from Heat Above to Highway could be a little tighter if weâre gonna keep that on the set, butââÂ
âYou seemed especially talkative tonight, thought I was gonna have to turn my monitors up to drown out your screaming,â Josh jokes. You cut your eyes at him in annoyance. Itâs not like you could help it.Â
âOnly screaming to drown out the sound of your voice, brother,â you quip, taking a sip of your drink. Tequila soda, extra lime.
âPlease, I think you were just having a little Jake moment because of a certain someoââ
âFuck off, Josh, seriously,â you spit.Â
âOh, who, the runner? Y/N?â Danny asks, turning to face you with a shit eating grin.Â
âYep.â Josh answers, popping the âpâ.
You send a threatening look to Josh, and he knows he needs to drop it. âI donât know what youâre all on and on about. Can you just drop it? Christ.â
âYou sure man? I saw that little exchange side stage. Looked more than friendly,â Danny adds, and of course you knew it was coming.Â
Lyla sends you a questioning look, and you quickly look away before she has time to examine things any further. Her gaze travels to Mia, the two of them looking at each other before turning back to you.Â
âAnyway, DanielâŚyou and Sam need to watch my cue for Highway, Iâll let Josh do his little spiel, heâll signal me, and Iâll signal you. I donât think anyone noticed tonight, but let's not do that again, yeah?â
Everyone nods in agreement as you toss back the rest of your drink in frustration. You motion for Josh and Ty to let you out, desperate to get out of this booth and get another drink. You make your way to the bar, standing amongst the other patrons waiting their turn. You pull your phone from your pocket, hoping to see something, anything from her, but it's empty, the same as it was ten minutes ago. Should you text her?
No. Stop thinking about her, fuck.Â
You order a new drink, a double this time, hoping it will help you clear your head of this woman. You weave through the crowd with your drink in hand as you make your way back to the table, however when it comes into sight you see none other than Paul, Wes and Y/N standing in front of it.Â
You take a large sip from your glass, clearing your throat and trying to regain your composure. You definitely werenât expecting her to show up. A wave of nerves washes over you as you see her standing there, dark jeans and a black top, her hair hanging down her back in waves. Your eyes travel straight back to her ass, hugged so perfectly in her jeans you almost have to head to the bathroom to fix yourself. You drag your eyes back up towards the table, your chest growing warm as you watch her talk to Josh, secretly wishing it was you.Â
You approach the group, laying a hand on Paul's shoulder to get his attention. He turns to you and shakes your hand with a smile, followed by Wes. You slide into the booth next to Mia, setting your drink in front of you as Josh continues to talk to Y/N.Â
âY/N, why donât you hang with us? Weâre more fun than these old guys,â Josh laughs, playfully slapping Paulâs arm.Â
She turns to look at Paul who is shrugging his shoulders and nodding, âWouldnât hurt to get to know these fools.â
You can see a look of hesitation on her face, her eyes flick to Josh and Sam, then to Daniel and finally to you. They linger for a second before she nods her head, agreeing to spend her evening with the group of you. She takes a seat next to Ty as he pushes Josh over to make room for her. You smile a little watching her get settled, pushing her hair behind her ear as she nervously peers up at you from across the table. The corner of your lip turns up as you look at her, and hers does the same. You know that all eyes are on you now, though, so you try to seem as casual as possible.Â
âYou need a drink?â you ask, letting your eyes meet hers, almost sparkling in the bar lighting. So fucking pretty, fuck. You are so, so fucked. Â
She shrugs and nods, looking around at what everyone else is drinking as she bites her lips. âHow about a Titoâs and Sprite, two limes?â she asks, almost as if nervous to say it.
You nod your head once, silently commending her for not ordering a fucking cranberry vodka.Â
âGot it, anyone else?â you ask, looking at the group as they shake their heads.Â
âIâll be back,â you say, standing from the booth and making your way back to the bar you just came from. You donât have to wait long this time, ordering her drink and making sure they donât skip on the limes. Youâre kind of glad you are the one getting her drink, giving you another minute or two to shake the nerves in your system that arose just from seeing her.Â
You glance over your shoulder towards the booth, watching as she talks animatedly with everyone at the table. You feel a little twinge of happiness as you look at her, seeing her fit in so effortlessly with the group. You grab the glass off the bartop and start to make your way back over to them, weaving through a thick crowd of people congregating in the middle of the bar.Â
You place her drink in front of her before taking your seat again, her cheeks blushed pink as she looks at you. âJust let me know how much and I can venmo whoever.â
âOh, no, donât worry about it. I got it,â you answer, giving her a tight lipped smile.Â
âI was just telling Y/N that Iâm gonna have to fire Mia and hire her to start making me drinks from now on. Your wine glass was practically overflowing all night,â he laughs as Mia scoffs. He tosses his arm around her, kissing her cheek as he whispers in her ear.Â
âTo be fair, I did drink it all,â you offer, tipping your head towards her. Her cheeks are red, and you can tell sheâs a little embarrassed about the whole thing. She sips at her drink, swallowing down the bubbly alcohol. You can see her tension ease a little as she puts down the glass, her eyes meeting yours again. The moment is quickly zapped as Josh grabs her attention.Â
âYou know, I did happen to look over and see you a few times. Seemed like you were enjoying the show,â Josh pauses, smiling at her, âThought I was going to have to come pick your jaw up off the ground after The Archer.â
Her face blushes a deep red now, clearly embarrassed that Josh caught her in what she thought was a private moment. Part of you wants to jump over the table and choke him, but you donât, just clearing your throat instead to warn him. Y/N sips her drink a little faster now through a laugh, clearly needing it to kick in a little quicker.Â
She was really watching you?Â
âYeah, you were kinda on one tonight, werenât you Jake?â Daniel adds, chewing the end of the straw in his drink. âThey were crazy over on your side. You were givinâ it to âem.â
âSâthat why you were showing out tonight? Trying to impress all your little fans?â Sam adds, quirking an eyebrow at you.Â
Josh scoffs a laugh and raises his eyebrows, looking over to Y/N, âOh, Iâm thinking it was someone else entirely, Sammy boy.â
Instinctively your foot connects with his leg as you kick him in an effort to shut him up. Your eyes flick over to Y/N, clearly uncomfortable and deeply embarrassed, on her first night no less. Her eyes start to flick around the table as everyone looks at her, before falling down to the table as she runs her finger around the rim of her glass.Â
âDonât listen to them, Y/N,â Mia jumps in. âThey spend 50% of their time bagging on each other and the other 50% trying to embarrass us.â Her act of heroism obviously makes Y/N feel a little more comfortable, and you realize that sometimes you and your brothers truly have no filters at all. âJust tell them to fuck off.â She adds a wave of her hand through the air, showing that she was used to it, now.Â
âOh shit, heard about your little situation at the bar last night, Y/N. Heard there was some trouble,â Sam says, leaning into the table as the volume of the crowd starts to drown him out. âGlad Jake was able to come to your rescue.â God damnit, do they ever shut up?
âOh yeah, Y/N you can always call Dean and tell him where youâre going so you donât have to deal with Jake if you need something. Iâm sure Dean is a lot more pleasant than Jake is at midnight, anyway,â Josh barks, sending another shooting wave of annoyance through your chest. Little did he know that you were perfectly fucking pleasant with her at midnight last night. More than pleasant, actually.Â
âIâll remember that next time, Josh,â she replies, a little sound of defeat in her voice.
You know what Joshâs next move is going to be, heâs going to start prying her with questions of what exactly happened. He knows you gave him the condensed version, and knowing him, heâs bound and determined to get the truth out of one of you. So you decide to stop him before he starts.Â
âYeah, it wasnât a big deal, I had just downed a drink before she texted, I hardly remember telling the guy to fuck off. We can just pretend the whole thing never even happened, right Y/N?â you propose, immediately regretting the words as soon as they slipped from your mouth. You didnât want to pretend it never happened. Youâve relived it over and over and over since it didâŚ
Her face falls a bit as she nods her head. âYeah, no. Never even happened. IâllâŚremember not to bother you next time. Knee-jerk reaction.â Her voice is a bit pointed as she tries to defend herself without being too bitchy about it. You watch as she bites the insides of her cheeks, probably wanting to lash out at all of you. She felt threatened by that guy, and she called for help. You feel like shit, she texted you because she was panicked, and was most familiar with you⌠hell, youâd just spent an entire day on the plane together. She probably doesnât even have Deanâs number yetâŚshit. Your choice of words had bitten you in the ass yet again. Youâve definitely fucked up.Â
But the guys absolutely can not know that you kissed herâŚ
The conversation thankfully takes a turn and youâre able to disassociate from it for a minute, watching as she struggles to stay involved, while also completely avoiding eye contact with you. Yeah, definitely fucked up.Â
She finishes the rest of her drink and slides out from the booth, excusing herself to the restroom. She flips her hair behind her shoulder and tosses her purse over it too, and you find yourself wishing that you could reach out and grab her hand to stop her. Her eyes stay fixed to the floor as she flits away into the crowd, completely disappearing from your view.Â
The minutes pass by as you flow in and out of the conversations, your subconscious reminding you every so often that she isnât back yet. Your eyes repeatedly scan the crowd and over to Paul and Wes, and each time you find them still seated alone at the bar. Where did she really go?Â
You start to get anxious as you finally decide to say fuck it. You pull the tiny pointless straw from your drink, biting it between your teeth as you pull your phone from your pocket, bringing up her text thread.Â
You
12:29AM: Where did you go?
You chomp the straw nervously as you move it around in your mouth, feeling it poking and prodding against your gums. You watch your message turn to read, but no reply bubble pops up. Youâre facing the door, and you havenât seen a soul pass through it, so you know she hadnât snuck out. Seven entire more minutes go by, and you realize sheâs not going to respond. You need to make this right. You need to tell her last night meant more than nothing to you.Â
Suddenly you get the brazen idea to go ahead and add another song to the playlist, thinking that maybe since it worked last nightâŚ
You pull up your music app and hit the search box, already knowing exactly what song you are going to add. âGo Outsideâ by The Cults. Perfect. Straight and to the point.Â
Josh continues to finish out a story youâd already heard twice today as your knee begins to bounce up and down with anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes later, you get the notification that she, too, has added another song. Yes. Fucking finally. Â
âGoneâ by JR JR magically appears at the bottom of the playlist, and you canât stop the confused scowl that crosses your face. What the fuck? Thereâs no way sheâs gone⌠Youâve been watching the doorâŚ
You decide to cut the shit, and text her. If anything, youâll apologize for how everything had gone, and let her continue on with her night. You couldnât go another second without letting her know how sorry you were that things had gone so awry. You pull up your text thread, seeing the urgent messages from last night still present on your screen.Â
You
12:42AM: I know youâre not gone, Iâm facing the door. Meet me out back, please?
You donât even stick around to wait for her reply as you lock your phone and slam it onto the table, standing from your seat to hurriedly head out to the back patio area. âIâll be back, going for a smoke,â you announce, and thankfully, no one says they want to join you.Â
You make your way to the back door, pushing through the heavy metal and into the enclosed seating area. The cold breeze almost takes your breath away. You find that it is fairly big, but thankfully completely empty. The concrete slab is lined with old picnic tables and rickety bar stools that look like theyâve seen better days. You take a seat on top of one of the tables, sliding a blunt out of your front pocket and lighting it to life, letting the smoke fill your lungs and hopefully give you the courage to speak your mind freely.Â
Come on, Y/N, donât let me downâŚ
â
You look up from the cherried tip of the blunt, hearing a pair of boots making their way across the concrete. You look at her as she makes her way towards you, the wind blowing her hair across her face. The sleeves on her shirt are surely not thick enough to brave the cold air, and you find yourself smiling as you remember finding her in the same predicament on the plane. You blow out a ribbon of smoke from your lips just as she steps up to you, her face a little sullen and her cheeks still flushed. You didnât know if she was going to come. You hoped she would, and now that she has, itâs time to fix things.Â
She crosses her arms across her chest, her hands rubbing her arms to ward off the cold. You place the blunt between your lips as you slide your corduroy over your arms and toss it around her. She doesnât fight you this time, she accepts it, sticking her arms through the sleeves and pulling it tightly across her chest. Your heart beats a little faster seeing her wrapped in it as you pinch the blunt between your fingers.Â
âSo you didnât leave after allâŚâ you say, turning to look at her. She doesnât really answer you, just looks down at the glowing blunt in your hand. You can tell she wants to say something, but sheâs not letting herself, and you want to know why.Â
âWhy did you say that you did?â you ask, flicking the ash with your thumb.Â
She bites her lip as she turns out to look out into the distance. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out, turning back to look at you. âBecause I was embarrassed. Those people in there? They are my bosses. You are my boss. Now, their first real impression of me is that Iâm some helpless idiot that needs a man to rescue her. That I am some dim-witted awestruck groupie or something. I justâ This is not the first impression I wanted to make, not with them, and definitely not with you.â
You immediately stop her, knowing that her fears are completely unwarranted. âNo, no. None of that is true. None of us think that. I swear. They are just picking on you because they actually do like you. You heard Mia. You would know if they didnât. I promise. You were amazing today, truly. You made a great first impression with them. And with me,â you offer, hoping it will ease her anxiety.Â
She nods a little, giving you a shy smile as you nod back at her hoping to bring her out of her shell a bit. âDid you like the show, at least? Ignore what Josh said, heâs an idiot.â
âYeah, yeah I did. Jake, youâŚâ she pauses, shaking her head to try and articulate her thought, âYou were like a completely different person up there, Iââ
You swallow nervously, licking your lips, âYeah that, kinda happens. I donât know why or how, but something changes when Iâm out there with my guitar. But, I promise itâs still normal me under all of it,â you respond, nudging her arm with your elbow, trying to get a smile out of her.Â
She smiles enough that you let it go, but you can tell that sheâs still shaken from earlier, and you know itâs time to make your amends. âThe stuff inside with the guysâŚThatâs not whatâs bothering you, is itâŚâ you pause, meeting her eyes, âItâs what I said.â
She nods a little, shrugging her shoulders as if sheâs nervous to admit it, and you feel a shock of guilt run through you. You blow out a stream of smoke into the air above you, reaching your hand out to softly touch her arm as she sits on the stool in front of you.Â
âItâs not true, what I said. Iâ didnât mean that,â you confess, your voice a little lower and more sincere.Â
Her eyes flick up to yours, âWhich thing? That it wasnât a big deal or that you want to pretend it never happened?âÂ
Fuck, you did say that earlier. You lean a little closer to her, letting your hand slide beneath her elbow and over her arm again, âBoth. I actually havenât stopped thinking about it. About youâŚabout theseâŚâ you answer, bringing your hand up to cup her cheek, letting your thumb swipe over her bottom lip. âNot for a single second.â
Her lips are soft, a little wet. You can smell the vodka on her breath and goddamn if that doesnât make you want her more for some reason. You want to taste her, but you need to devour her.Â
A smile crosses her lips, as she moves closer to you, âI was kinda wondering if you were going to make good on that text, or if it was just for show.â
You huff a laugh as you flick at the blunt again, âWell, as you saw, I do enjoy the show, but I keep my word. I meant what I said last night.â
Your eyes are dark and demanding as they look into hers. You feel her hand meet yours, plucking the blunt from your fingers and placing the tip between her pink lips, âSo did I.â
She takes a long drag from the blunt, holding her breath and letting the tobacco and earth flavored smoke swirl through her lungs. She places it back in your mouth, blowing the stream of smoke over her shoulder as she leans onto the table with challenging eyes. You feel her fingertips barely tap on your lips as you take the blunt back, and the icy contact sets off an alarm in your mind to get her somewhere warm.Â
You hit the blunt one last time before dabbing it out on the tabletop, flicking the burnt-out paper to somewhere unknown. You stand quickly from the table, gripping her hand in yours as you pull her from the barstool. âCâmon,â you murmur, feeling the blood begin to rush through your body with anticipation. You begin leading her over to a door on the corner of the patio, again looking to see if anyone was around.Â
âWhere are we going?â she breathes. You squeeze her hand, realizing that youâd already intertwined her fingers with yours, just as you had last night on the walk back to the hotel.Â
You pull the door open, letting the outside light barely illuminate the small bathroom. You do a quick check to make sure it isnât trashed or occupied, and you pull her inside, shutting the door behind you. The small room is completely dark, devoid of any and all light at all, except for the tiniest sliver of ambient light coming from under the door. You stand with your hands still wrapped up in hers, and what felt like only inches away judging from the feeling of her breath hitting your lips.
âWanna make good on my wordâŚâ you breathe, the sound of your heart racing in your ears.Â
â...In a bathroom, Jake? She giggles anxiously, but you know she doesnât really mean it.Â
You let your hand follow the sound of her words, cupping her jaw again as you bring her into closer proximity. Your thumb brushes her lips again, and you can feel it trembling just a little. Or, maybe it's your hand shakingâŚthe nerves rising up have you feeling light headed. There has never been another woman that makes you react like this. Ever.Â
âDid you have somewhere else in mind?â you ask, bringing your lip between your teeth as you hear her breath catch, and feel her head shake side to side.Â
You feel her tiptoe just a little bit, bringing her forehead to balance on yours. Your noses graze just barely, and her chest rests across yours, heaving steadily along with each breath the both of you take. Donât fuck this up, JakeâŚÂ
âNo, this is perfect,â she whispers, her lips finally making the smallest contact with yours. You feel all of your nerves at attention, every hair on your body standing on end with anticipation for touching her; feeling just the bare minimum of her body was already sending your nervous system into overdrive. Your fingertips tighten on her cheek as you finally close the gap, feeling her plush lips pressing into yours for the second time in twenty four hours. Sheâs soft and inviting, the feeling of her just the same as it was last night, except now without the element of forced surprise. She feels natural and normal, like youâre meeting her again for the first time after a lifetime spent apart.Â
Itâs like a dream, except the dream quickly turns into the most devious nightmare as she turns up the heat of the kiss. Her tongue presses gently into your mouth, and youâre allowed your first taste of her. Sweet and sour- her natural essence mixed with the limes that were in her drink⌠the smell of her perfume, the inability to see her face⌠it was all making your head spin and your vision blur.
The kiss is heated already, like she had been wanting it just as badly as you had. Your mouths crash onto one another's, her hands quickly finding your shoulder and waist as the smallest sound escapes her throat. She pulls you in toward her, her knee slipping in between your legs. Fuck, she feels good. You grasp her up in your arms, pulling her in more tightly as you begin pushing her backward toward the wall. You feel her gently bump into it, and you take the opportunity to move things in a bit more.Â
Swiftly, but with the utmost caution, you press her body into the wall, letting your lips trail just a little further from her mouth, down onto her jawline. âThis okay?â you mutter, your lips now brushing right below her ear. You feel her body react, her muscles tensing up from your words.Â
You feel her head nod, âYeah, yes. Itâs⌠Keepââ
Her words stop short as you embrace her again, finding the kiss to have deepened even more since she gave you the go-ahead. Her hands slip up underneath your shirt, and you can feel the light scratch of her nails across your stomach. You swear you could come undone right then and there, but you hold back, taking a deep breath through your nose as you try to regain your composure. Hardly anything has even happened, and youâre already contemplating how you were going to best satisfy her tonight.Â
Your hands are begging to feel her skin, so you let them⌠your calloused fingertips creeping up under her tight black shirt just as hers had just done, her waist thick with soft muscle under the grip of your hands. You squeeze, committing the feeling of her in your grasp to the darkest parts of your memory. Fuck, you wish you could see her.Â
You part, stepping back just as you grip both of her hips in your hands, jerking her harshly into you. âWhy did you say you left when you didnât?â you ask, trying like hell to catch your breath.Â
âI was leavingâŚâ she mumbles, pressing her center right back onto you. God, fuck. âI got a phone call.âÂ
âFrom who?â you bite, your teeth clenched as you stop your eyes from rolling back in your head from the feel of her pressed against you.
âA friend.â
You huff an exasperated breath. âA friend who?â
She bucks her hips forward again, and the movement sends a surge of blood flow straight to your dick; you know for a fact she can tell how hard you are, now. âDo you really want me to answer that, or do you want to keep kissing me?â
You growl with aggravation, gripping her shoulders and pulling her away from the wall, up against the bathroom sink. You press your lips to hers again as her hands grip into your hair, pulling at the strands as you fight each other for dominance over the kiss. You can feel her fingers entangling themselves at the back of your neck as she pulls you in, unable to get you close enough.Â
She breaks away for a second, and you feel immediate sadness at the loss of contact. âTo answer your first question, I said I left because... I wanted to see if you would follow me.â
âI would have,â you answer with no hesitation whatsoever.
âWhy?â
You click your tongue, knowing that you arenât in a position to go into detail about your unexpected, but not unwanted feelings for her. âI canât answer that question at the moment, but when I can, Iâll let you know,â you explain, earning yourself a pissed-off laugh from her.Â
âDonât scoff at me, little fledgling,â you tease, running your tongue up the side of her neck. She chills under your touch, playfully pushing your shoulders back.Â
You reach down, gripping the backs of her thighs as you lift her onto the marble countertop, pushing her knees apart to find your place between them again. You gently jerk her forward, letting her center meet up with yours at the most perfect height. The sound that escapes her is nothing short of the most beautiful sound youâd ever heard, and you part your lips, drinking her noises in and swallowing them down to live within you for as long as sheâd let them.Â
You press yourself into her harder now, rolling your hips a bit as you start to lose all composure. Fuck, whenever this does finally happen, itâs gonna be good⌠Your hands are traveling all over her body thatâs still covered in your heavy corduroy jacket, and you can feel the heat radiating from your bodies and warming up the otherwise chilled room. You want to feel her, you want to reach down and feel your clothed bodies touching one another, but you stop yourself. Instead, you grip your hands into her thighs, moving them higher and higher until theyâre rested at the crease where her legs meet her ass. You want so much to keep going, keep wrapping your hands and digging your fingertips and exploring all that you could, but again, you slow your movements.Â
You gingerly stop your grip, instead trailing your hands lightly from her hips, up her sides and shoulders, back up to cup both of her cheeks in your hands, slowing the intense make-out into a soft subtle kiss.Â
âWhatâs wrong, Jake? Whyââ
âNot here. Not like thisâŚâ you answer, and if you could see her, you swear you would have seen the same look of defeat as youâd seen earlier. Except this time, for a better reason than the first. You back away a little, feeling her body language fall.Â
âYouâre right, youâre right,â she agrees, hopping down from the sink. âThis⌠isnât the best setup.â
You adjust yourself in your jeans as you laugh, âOh, itâs the perfect setup. I just⌠ya knowâŚâ
âPeople are probably wondering how you made a smoke last this long,â she whispers.
You laugh again, taking her in a sincere embrace, letting her face bury into your chest. âYeah, exactly.â You sway a couple of seconds as the both of you come down from the heavy session, and you can still feel her heart beating erratically as she presses against you. You lurch down and take her chin between your fingers, bringing your lips to hers in a soft and sweet kiss.Â
âBeen thinking about doing that every single second since last night,â you admit quietly.
She laughs shyly. âCanât believe I just made out with my bossâŚâ
 âHey, cut that boss shit. Paul is your boss. Iâm yourâŚâ
â...MmmmmyyyâŚ.â
âIâm the one that hired your boss. Get it straight,â you pick, feigning cockiness.Â
âOh pleaseâŚâ she laughs, pushing you hard against the wall in the still blacked-out room.
âLetâs get out of here,â you say as you move toward the door to make your grand escape, with all intentions to go ahead and make the trek back to the hotel by yourselves. The two of you step out of the bathroom and back onto the patio, fixing your tousled hair and unkempt clothes. As you round the corner, youâre stopped dead in your tracks as you meet eyes with the last person you wanted to see out here.Â
Josh is leaned against the same picnic table that youâd extinguished your blunt on, legs crossed at the ankle as he hugs his arms on his chest. The smug fucking smile on his face was enough to turn your raging libido into straight nausea. He holds your phone into the air, shaking it side to side as the screen lights up.Â
âYou left this on the table, itâs been blowing up. Thought you might wanna answer it after theâŚthird consecutive call, but now I see that you were otherwise occupiedâŚâ he snaps, his tone anything but playful. You snatch it from his hand, glancing at the screen to see a string of missed calls and texts, but most notably of them all is a text from Y/N telling you she was on her away to meet you outside. Shit. Your eyes flick to Joshâs, and you can read his expression like a book. He raises his eyebrows as he bites a smile, as if heâs saying âcaught yaâ.
You feel Y/N still standing behind you, most likely also unable to move from her stance. You watch as Josh nods to her, then brings his fingers to his mouth, motioning that heâs locking his lips, and throwing away the key. He turns and slowly walks back inside the bar, not uttering another word.
You feel her hand on your back, âWhy did he do that?â she asks, a crease between her brows.Â
Goddammit Josh.Â
âI donât know,â you snap, your voice a little harsher than you intended. It's a lie though, you know exactly why he did it.Â
You turn around to face her, running your hands up and down over her arms to warm her up, âI donât know whatâs up with him tonight, maybe you should spare yourself. Head back earlyâŚâ
She seems a little taken aback at your suggestion, stepping back a few steps. âOh, um, yeah youâre right, I shouldâ I should probably go. I have some... stuff I need to do anyway.â
You can feel the nervous energy flowing from her body as her legs continue to move backwards. You donât want her to leave, but you see no way around it now.
âBe safe, call if you need us,â you say, shoving your hands in your pockets.Â
She hesitates before turning away completely, almost as if she was waiting to see if you were planning to join her. You want to. You want to take her back to her room and finish what you started, but you canât. You know Josh is waiting for you, counting each second until you step through that door.Â
She stops, turning back to you, âOh, your jacketâŚâ
âKeep it. Iâll get it later,â you say, lifting your hand and waving.
Her eyes meet yours again as she nods, a hint of sadness beneath them. Fuck fuck fuck.
You watch her walk back inside, disappearing through the door. You wait a minute or two before you make your way back inside, seeing Josh sitting in the booth alone. You mumble a curse under your breath as you slide into the booth across from him, drinking the water of the melted ice from your abandoned drink.Â
Josh is staring at you as he sips his drink, his eyes drifting over towards the bar where Ty and the rest of the group have gathered. He looks back to you as he sets his drink on the table and folds his hands together.Â
âSo yeah, howâs that break going, Jacob? Pretty good it seems?â he pauses, shaking his head, âYou really are getting your head straight or whatever the fuck it is you told her.â
You toss your head back in annoyance. This fucker thinks he knows everything.Â
âListen to me,â you demand, your voice growing deep. âYou need to stay the fuck out of it. Iâm dealing with it. Do you hear me?â
He blows you off, scoffing under his breath.Â
âDo you hear me, Josh,â you growl.
He drags his eyes back to yours, dark and piercing, âYeah, Jacob. I hear you. But answer me this, when was the last time you spoke to her?â
It feels like a punch in the gut as you answer, âNone of your fucking business.â
âNo, no, see it is kind of my business, seeing as how youâve beenââ
âNo, you know what, Iâm not doing this. Iâm leaving, Iâll see you in the morning,â you spit, standing from the booth and grabbing your things.Â
âDonât be that guy, Jake.â
You suck your teeth and nod at him with a fake smile as you turn to head toward the door.Â
Fucking prick, thinks he gets to call the shots in everyones life. Fuck him.
The walk to the hotel is short, the cold air cutting through you like a knife, but youâre glad she has your jacket. You know that when you get it back it will smell like her, and that alone makes this icy wind worth it.Â
Your mind drifts as you walk, your brain replaying the image of her in the bathroom. The way her lips felt, the way she tasted. The feeling of her skin in your hands. You have half a mind to run straight to her, pick up where you left off, but after the look on her face you arenât sure you can.Â
Your phone starts to buzz in your pocket as you draw closer to the hotel, a persistent buzz indicating a phone call, not a text. You pull it from your pocket seeing the name on the Caller ID for what has to be the fourth time tonight. You curse as you slide your finger across the screen answering the call.Â
âHello...â
âHey baby, I didnât think you were gonna pick up!â her familiar voice says.Â
âWonder what could have possibly given you that idea,â you gripe in response.Â
âSorry, Iâm just missing you. Havenât heard from youâŚâ she whines.Â
âYes, Isla. That is exactly the point of a break. To not hear from me,â you snap.Â
âBut Jake, I thought youâd at least tell me you made it. Iâve been worried and you turned off your location and everything, I just miss you,â she continues, her voice suddenly grating on your nerves.Â
âIsla, ChristâŚWhat are you not getting?â
âDo you not miss me?â she asks, fishing for a reciprocated sentiment.Â
Your phone buzzes in your hand as you start to answer, pulling it away just enough to see the notification banner at the top.Â
âY/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: đĽâ
Your heart lurches in your chest when you read it, and whatever Isla is saying turns into a hum of noise.
âJake? Are you listening to me?â she asks, her tone annoyed.Â
âWhat? Yeah, I hear you. Look I uh, itâs late here. I just got back to the hotel. Iâll call you soon, okay?â you ask, trying to calm her enough to get off the phone.
âI know weâre on a break, Jake, but you know I still love you.âÂ
âYeah, yeah I know, hey Iâm getting on the elevator, Iâm about to lose you. Iâll talk to you soon, okay?â
You hear her sigh, âOkay, bye babe.â
âBye,â you say, hitting the red button and ending the call.Â
âFuck me, FUCK me!â you shout, the elevator doors closing in front of you. You hit the nine button letting it carry you up to your floor. This has got to stop.
You immediately open the notification from Y/N, waiting for the playlist to load. You watch as the songs start to populate one by one, the last and most recent one finally loading as you step out of the elevator on your floor. Your heart drops as you read the name of the song you know all too well. âHigh and Dryâ by Radiohead.Â
Fucking hell. How many times are you going to screw it up with this girl?Â
You press play, letting the somber and melancholy tune play through the speakers as you fumble around for your hotel room key. The lyrics swirl through your ears as you realize that you did exactly what the song says. You left her high and dry in order to cover your own ass. Youâve given her a hundred reasons to never speak to you again, and you wouldnât blame her if she did.
You make the walk down the hallway, spotting your room, but stopping short when your eyes land on her hotel room door just a few steps away. You know she is just behind that door, probably in bed, wondering what she did wrong. Fuck.Â
Your mind flashes back to last night, when you wanted to kiss her again, standing at that very door. But tonight, you did. You kissed her again and fuck if it wasnât even better than the first time. You had every intention of taking her back here tonight. Every single intention of doing whatever she asked of you. In the matter of twenty-four hours she had you completely wrapped around her finger. Youâd give her anything she wanted. You want her, badly, but you just canât seem to stop fucking it up. And now that Josh knows, you know that it will only be a matter of time before everyone knows.
You bite your lips together as you pull your room key from your pocket, looking at the shiny white plastic in your hand as your heart pounds in your chest. Your eyes flick to your door for just a moment then back to her door only a few measly steps away. The song ends as you look down at the phone in your hand.
Should you reply? Should you go to her? Should you let it be?
You know what you want to do, and you know what you should do.Â
But the real question is what will you do?
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just a heads up, chapter 5 Dawn of Love is this era of Josh. ARE YâALL READY. iâm literally busting through this chapter, writers block is a bitch and i wish she never existed. (also you may only get one chapter of frat boy/rat tail josh sadly, as i have plans to move it along so the plot will make senseđĽ˛)
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Iâm so excited for this new series these two have started!! Iâm already hookedđ¤Š
The Ripe and The Ruin - (Chapter 1)
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader
Word Count: 14.3k
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Unwelcome Advances, Kissing.
Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify
A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.
"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."
JAKE POV
You absentmindedly swirl the skinny black straw around in your glass, scoffing to yourself as you wonder why the bartender put a stirrer into your Whiskey in the first place. It didnât need to be stirred. You took it straight. It was fine on its own. Regardless, you sipped around the straw, letting the oaky liquor trickle down the back of your throat.
It wasnât that you hated flying. It was more that you hated being alone with your thoughts for extended periods of time. Only your phone or a book to occupy your brain, but you knew that only worked for so long. Eventually youâd be left alone to tumble down into those dark, dusty memories that would torment you until you touched down in whatever city you were slated to be in that day.Â
You hear Joshâs voice, instinctively causing you to turn your head, watching as he and Daniel stand in front of the camera recording whatever video the social media team planned for the day. You gracefully bowed out of that process all together, the team knowing not to approach you about an idea unless they knew it was something you would agree to. Usually though, it wasnât. You turn to look at Sam on your right, seeing his gaze fixed upon the two of them. Both of you were now watching them as they played along with the skit, a huff of secondhand embarrassment sizzling through you as you sip from your glass. Youâd never be caught dead doing that.
Fools. How is anyone ever supposed to take us seriously if all we show them is this?Â
âYou ready for another few months of this shit?â you mumble, your lips barely parting from the edge of your glass.Â
Sam snickers as he turns back to you. âNo. But thatâs the job isnât it?â he answers, swallowing down a gulp of beer, turning to look at you.
âIâm hitting that wall, too.â you answer, meeting the eyes of his girlfriend, Lyla. She sends you a sympathetic look as she squeezes Samâs arm, giving him the little bit of reassurance he needs. âSâbeen a shit few weeks.â
Sam doesnât say anything, instead pursing his lips together and slowly nodding his head as he peers down into his empty glass. Everyone knows better than to indulge you in your misery at this point, vowing not to pick at the festering wound. Itâs still fresh and youâre still too volatile.
âWell, weâre going to your happy place, right?â Lyla asks with a hopeful smile.Â
âYeah, yeah we are,â you answer, taking another long pull of Whiskey. It was clear she didnât know the reason it made you happy in the first place was because of the memories you made there with the person no longer around.
You turn your head ready to fall into those memories youâve been pushing away for weeks, but fate has other plans as you spot your production team walking towards the boarding gate. They look frantic as they talk to each other, their eyes flicking up and down from their phones in their hands. Paul, your band Manager leads the group, finally slipping his phone into his pocket as he spots the gate. Next to him is Corrine, the Production Manager talking on the phone, balancing it between her ear and shoulder as she follows Paul. Wes, the Tour Manager continues to talk to Paul as they step into the waiting area, but behind him is someone you donât recognize.Â
Sheâs looking down at her phone, unaware that Wes has come to an abrupt stop in front of her. She runs into him just enough that it gets his attention, a profuse apology falling from her mouth. You laugh a little at the exchange, wondering who this girl is, and why she is with your team. Sheâs dressed like the rest of them, casual, but still comfortable for a day of travel. A slouchy white long sleeve shirt, a little too thin for the cold January weather, a brown leather backpack, worn and well loved, and a pair of olive green pants that hug her ass just a little too well for 10AM on a Thursday morning. You find yourself unable to pull your eyes away from her, a magnetizing feeling sucking you in the longer you look at her. She laughs with Wes, a bright smile lighting up her face causing an unwelcome twinge in your chest. Itâs when she fully turns though, allowing you to see her whole face through the curtain of tousled waves, that you find yourself needing to know who she is.Â
You swallow nervously, licking your bottom lip as you turn to Sam. âWho uh, whoâs that?â you ask, nodding towards the group. âWith Paul, Wes, and Corri?â
Sam turns around in his barstool, looking across the busy walkway to the group standing at the gate. âOh, umâŚâ he pauses, assessing the situation. âSheâs with Paul, so that must be our new runner.â
âWhat happened to Lucy?â you ask, letting your eyes drift back to the mystery girl.Â
âShe got engaged and moved to Scotland or some shit, I donât remember. Ask Josh,â he laughs.Â
You hum, trying to remember the email thread where Paulâs new assistant was approved. What was her nameâŚ
âYou know her name?â Lyla asks, looking at Sam.
Yes, Lyla. Yes.Â
âUm, I think itâsâŚ.Y/N. Yeah, yeah, Y/N,â he answers confidently, snapping his fingers as he speaks.Â
âSo sheâs the new LucyâŚâ you hum, flipping your sunglasses down over your eyes.Â
âGuess so. Weâll see if she can hack it,â he laughs, sliding his card to the bartender.Â
You turn back to look at her, this time your eyes concealed. She is rocking back and forth on her feet, looking around as she hugs her arms across her chest. She seems nervous, pushing her hair behind her ears every few minutes. Youâre positively taken by her, unable to peel your eyes away from her every move. You canât help but study her, and you briefly wonder if it's the alcohol rushing through your brain that has you so focused on her.
The gate agentsâ voice blaring through the intercom system snaps you from your thoughts, announcing that your flight was ready to begin boarding. You look to Sam, who is signing the check, and nod your head in silent agreement that you should head over. You toss back the rest of your Whiskey, letting out a sigh as it warms your chest. You grab your black leather backpack and sling it over your shoulders, straightening out your shirt before following Sam across the walkway to the gate. With your glasses still down, you step into the waiting area, watching people line up around you.Â
Josh, Ty, Mia, and Daniel appear behind you, startling you a bit as you fumble around in your pocket for your boarding pass. Their conversation is loud and grating, but you tune them out. You check your seat assignment as you move forward in the line, repeating it in your head over and over so you donât forget it. You try not to pay attention to the pretty mystery girl five people ahead of you, but you just canât seem to take your eyes off of her. You watch her disappear down the jet bridge as she talks to Paul, and before you can even register it, itâs your turn and the gate agent is scanning your ticket. She sends you on your way with a smile, and as you make the long walk to the plane you wonder if the girl in the green pants is going to make this tour just a little bit more interesting.Â
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HER POV
3E. 3E. 3E.
Your eyes scan the row of numbers at the top of the cabin, finally catching sight of your assigned seat. You slide into the aisle seat, tossing your backpack to the floor as you let out a sigh of relief. You made it in one piece. You werenât late, and everyone seemed to like you so far.Â
You take a look around you, admiring the plush seats and ample legroom. Youâd never flown first class before. You felt a little out of place as you looked at the people around you. Thankfully it was filled with team members you knew, and the band members and their partners, but still you knew you didnât belong up here. You kicked your bag beneath the seat in front of you, pulling your shirt sleeves over your hands before reaching up to adjust the air vents that were blowing far too hard. A small shiver left your body as you spun the vents closed, sitting back comfortably in your seat as you waited to see who your seat partner would be.Â
Your phone buzzed on your lap, a text from your best friend lighting up your screen.Â
Ruth
10:57am: How many hours is the flight again?
You smile as you quickly text back, running the numbers in your head.
You
10:58am: I donât know, like 7 or 8 hours? Youâll be fine. Read a book or something. Iâll text you when I get there. But it will be lateâŚor early? I think? There is a big time difference.
Ruth
10:59am: Ok, be careful.
You lock your phone and shove it under your leg, your eyes darting to the aisle as more people pass you on their way to their seats. You couldnât believe your first leg of tour with them was taking you across Europe, allowing you to see places youâd only dreamed about. It wasnât the job you were worried about, you could do that in your sleep. It was the uncertainty of being in another country with people you didnât really know.Â
Getting to know the bands you worked for was a precarious thing. Always walking the thin line between friend and employee. You knew your place though, and you knew where that boundary lied. Your eyes refocus as someone stops in front of you, dropping their hands. As you look up you see Jake, one of the band members staring back at you.
âIâmâŚright there,â he says, gently pointing to the seat next to you.Â
âOh, right here?â you ask, genuinely curious how you were seated next to a band member and not with a crew member.
â3F? Thatâs what this saysâŚâ he asks, checking his boarding pass. You nod and stand, letting him slide into the seat. He drops his leather backpack to the ground with a thud, letting out a sigh of relief, much in the same way you had.Â
You resettle in your own seat, buckling your seatbelt and pulling it tight across your lap. Your heart is still pounding as you try to calm your nerves, suddenly feeling put on the spot next to your boss. Orâ your boss's boss. Shit.
You realize that you know practically nothing about this band, about its members, and really even much of their music beyond their hits. You planned to spend most of this flight acquainting yourself with them, learning their likes and dislikes before making a fool out of yourself in front of them in the green room. You donât know if you should speak to him, and truthfully youâre a little hesitant since that day at the office, catching him and Josh in an argument.Â
You didnât even know they would be there as you went in to sign your paperwork, but to your surprise they were, standing in the middle of the office playing around on instruments and talking. You made a beeline straight for the management office, mostly unseen, and quickly signed your paperwork. Paul went over some of the timelines and the things you would be responsible for as you took detailed notes on your phone, not wanting to miss a single thing.Â
Though, all of that came to a screeching halt as the sound of a chair skidding forcefully across the concrete floors pulled you both from your conversation. From your seat you watched through the small office door as two men moved towards each other, while two more intervened to break up whatever was about to happen.Â
You then learned from Paul that the two people that were arguing were the twins, Jake and Josh, and that the other two were their younger brother Sam, and their honorary brother Daniel. You observed in shock as the two of them shouted profanities at each other from either side of the piano, both red faced and worked up over something.Â
Paul quickly walked you out the front door with an apology and a laugh, and that was the last you saw of the band and its members, until today.
Out of the corner of your eye, you try to get a good look at him without him noticing. First impressions have always been a big deal to you, and since your first impression of him was nothing short of off-putting, you decide to try again. Give him the benefit of the doubt.Â
Worn-in black pants, cuffed at the ankle, a wrinkled beige button up that only conceals half his torso, a thick dark navy overcoat, and a stack of heavy silver necklaces. Oh, and blue-tinted sunglasses. His cologne⌠now that will be sticking around in your mind for a while. Clean, woodsy, a hint of musk but still kind of sweet.
You hear him clear his throat as he fidgets with his things, putting them all in their places as he finally settles into his seat. He reaches down into his black leather bag that appears to be well-loved, and pulls out a set of wired earbuds. Theyâre tangled and bunched, and you canât help but smirk as you watch him try to untangle them. His fingers pull through the twisted white wires, and before you can offer your help, he reluctantly tosses them back down on top of his unzipped bag. âFuck it,â you hear him mumble under his breath. He huffs again and leans back, tapping his fingers anxiously on his arm rests.Â
You let yourself drift back into your own thought as the plane takes off, going over the hundreds of miniscule things you know youâll have to accomplish as soon as the plane lands. Itâs quiet in first class, something you aren't used to with flying on the regular. The peacefulness that comes along with the drone of the plane and the light conversation between everyone is almost enough to help you relax a little, if not for the damned cool air still blowing through the vent above you.Â
You shiver a little, cuffing your hands over the ends of your shirt to pull it in more closely to your body. Why you had chosen to forgo a heavier jacket in the middle of winter, you truly donât know. You decide to distract yourself a little, pulling up the string of endless emails that lie in waiting on your phone, getting a nice head-start on your duties before you have to hit the ground running.Â
Jake has been sitting beside you quietly for about an hour now, alternating scrolling his phone every few minutes and looking out his window. The cloud cover is heavy, so being able to see even a glimpse of the ocean below you is a lost cause. You listen as he sighs, crossing one of his legs over the other and folding his hands in his lap.Â
Should you strike up conversation? No, he probably doesnât care to speak to you. But is it rude not to? Youâve already been sitting here for over an hourâŚ
Just as you decide to open your mouth to speak, the plane hits turbulence. The cabin shakes and rumbles, and you can feel your stomach fall. Your hands grip the arm rests with white knuckles as the plane passes through, your eyes gripping shut as tightly as your palms on the arm rests.Â
Finally, after what feels like forever the plane evens out again, and you hear the pilot come over the intercom to apologize. You finally let the breath you were holding free from your lungs, and you open your eyes to see Jake with his head leaned low in front of you.Â
âYou okay?â he asks, an eyebrow cocked.Â
âYeah, yeah. Iâm fine. JustâŚdonât really enjoy this part much.â you admit, running your sweaty palms over your pants.Â
He sits back in his seat once he notices your calmness return. âMe neither, to be honest. No matter how many times you hit turbulence on a plane, you never get used to it. I donât care what people say.â he says with a sweet smile. You can tell that he was coming down from an anxious episode just the same as you.Â
âNo jokeâŚâ you agree, suddenly wanting a drink even if it was before noon. You push the tiny hairs away from your face as you regain a hold on your bearings, picking up right where you had left off before the turbulent air sent you into a spiral of doom. âIâIâm sorry I didnât introduce myself before, my nameâsââ
âY/N.â he cut in, extending the tips of his fingers out to offer you a friendly handshake.Â
You let your hand slowly come up to meet his, suddenly uncaring that it was probably still clammy. âYeah, thatâs me. Itâs nice to meet you.âÂ
For the five seconds your bodies connect, and the even shorter few seconds that his honey brown eyes meet yours, you feel like you were worried for nothing. This guy is nice. Maybe heâll be easier to talk to than you thoughtâŚ
His hand disconnects and flies to his chest. âIâm Jake.â
You nod. Of course you already know his name. âYeah, umâŚguitar. Right?â
He smiles harder this time. âYup. Thatâs my forte, at least. Have you um, ever been to Europe?â He brushes his hand over his nose a few times as his eyes dart back and forth from the seat behind you and back to your face, unable to hold eye contact. Is he nervous?
You turn your body a little more toward him. âNo, actually. This is my first time. But I hear good thingsâŚâ
âOh shit, youâre gonna love it. Especially this time of year. Things move pretty fast when we get there, but we always try to explore as much as possible. See some sights.â You can tell that heâs truly excited about this excursion, and to be completely honest, you found yourself wanting to hang on his every word.Â
âAnything in particular?â you press, wanting to hear the gritty rich sound of his voice again.Â
You let him talk on and on about the places he wants to see, and the places that they had already been, even bringing up a few older photos on his phone as he describes their past trips. You try not to look as he scrolls, but his camera roll is full of tons of scenic photos and videos, landscapes, mountains, waterfronts⌠and of course a few rogue photos of guitars and guitar parts. You wonder if heâs planning to make little vlogs.Â
âItaly is my favorite, I think. So much history there. I couldâve stayed for six months if theyâd have let me.â Your shoulders are pressed up against each othersâ now as you watch his thumb glide over the multitude of media, speeding through the less important ones to get to his favorites. Strange of him to trust a stranger this much to watch him scroll his personal camera roll. He obviously doesnât have much to hide, even if this is crossing that boundary lineâŚ
âThe people are great, the food is great, the wine, oh god, donât get me started on the wineâŚâ he chuckles, and you feel yourself bumping your shoulder against his a little as you laugh along with him. âThe terroir is fuckinâ phenomenal, obviously. Itâs like a different world.â
âI like a moscato every now and then.â You add, trying to throw in your two cents on your crumbs of wine knowledge.Â
He returns with a scrunched nose. âHmm, a bit sweet for my tasteâŚSo, Y/N. Whatâs your story, howâd you end up with us?â he asks, switching to cross his other leg over, now.Â
You swallow, unsure of how to explain yearsâ worth of ups and downs youâd gone through to a rockstar. Your boss. You decide to keep it short and sweet, he didnât need to know everything.Â
âWell, I spent my entire youth attending a small private school and private high school, so I came up quite the determined and disciplined kid. Kinda sheltered.â You turn again in your seat, tucking one leg up underneath you. âBut, I ended up moving away from home and away from family, been in this business for almost, eh, six years now?â You go on, and he listens intently. âGuess you could say Iâm a pro at making things happen out of thin air.â You give him a long wink as you snap your fingers together.Â
His eyebrows shoot up, and he finally gives you a hundred-watt smile. My god, heâsâŚ
âA-ha, so you got all the good hookups, huh?â He asks, running his fingers over his chin as his cheeks turn the palest shade of pink.Â
âSâwhat the runner does, isnât it?â You pull your eyes back down to your lap. âGet you everything you need, right when you need it?âÂ
You bring your eyes back up to his and watch as he swallows hard, his mouth hanging open for just a split second before he catches himself. âYeah, ehm, I suppose it is. Weâre not too bossy, though. Josh can be, but.â
âSo Iâve heard, heâs kind of aâŚdiva?â You hadnât done too much research on them, honestly. You hadnât had the time. But, what few tiktoks and musics videos you had managed to see were fairly telling of their personalities.Â
âHe is. He is.â Jake laughs. âDon't let him fool you, though. Heâs a big softie with an attitude problem. We all kind of are, honestly.â
âYouâre a softie?â You press with a teasing tone. âFrom the few videos Iâve seen of you playing guitar, you look a little intimidatingâŚâÂ
âMe? Intimidating?â He clicks his tongue. âDonât believe everything you see on the internet, Y/N. Itâs dangerousâŚâ he growls the last word, and you can feel your insides ripping themselves apart just at the sound of his voice. You have to pull back, now.Â
âAll the runners weâve ever had did extensive research on us before they came on tour, did you not do that?â he inquires, throwing you off a bit.Â
You donât really know how to answer, so you tell the truth. âHonestly Jake, no, I didnât. Iâve toured with a few other bands in my career, and I did that. I researched them, learned all things I thought I needed to know so I didnât go in blind. And, this time around, I did a little bit, but I kind of wanted to meet you all for myself. Get my own versions of you.âÂ
âHm.â He responds with an understanding nod. âWell, youâll be the first.âÂ
âSpeaking of,â you go on, candidly glancing around the cabin and deciding to go ahead and ask the question thatâs been nagging you. âEveryone else is seated with someone, wonder why Iâm not with the rest of the team.âÂ
âWhat, you donât wanna sit by me, Y/N?â he asks with a shred of a grin.Â
âNo no, itâs not that.â you laugh. âJustââ
âNormally I have someone with me, butâŚweâve recentlyâŚgone our separate ways, I suppose.â He trips over the words a little, stammering through them like it was the first time heâd admitted it.Â
âOh⌠I see.â you pause, âThatâsâŚnever an easy thing.âÂ
I wonder if that was why he was so snippy that day at the office when you saw him fall off his rocker?Â
âEh, sâalright. Win some, lose some. We had a good run.â He says as he waves off the question. âSo, you say youâve been doing this awhile, you must really miss whoever youâre leaving at home.âÂ
Skating around the question, arenât you, Jake?
âNo, Iâm single, if thatâs what youâre asking.â You bite your lip as he doesnât stop you from elaborating further. âIâm pretty independent, I like structure and uniformity. Growing up I wasnât allowed much time on my own to have hobbies outside of school and practice. Strict parents. The job has kept me pretty adhered to that mindset, even in my personal life, so.âÂ
His eyes flick to yours and he squints them a little, as if heâs collecting every single one of your words and hanging them in a closet in his mind. Heâs trying his best to figure you out, you can see it on his face. But why? He shouldnât careâŚyou donât matter.Â
âI can respect that.â He nods again. âMy brothers and I, we grew up in a fairly religious household. Was great, donât get me wrong. Really formed our roots but, as we got older and started to see the world, we kinda got away from it. Began to start seeing things in a different perspective.â He sucks his teeth, as if heâs recounting a hard memory. âKinda why we moved to Nashville. We knew we had to break away if we wanted the band to be successful.â
You nod in understanding. âI mean, it worked, didnât it?â
His laugh fills the cabin as it bounces off the walls, a sweet chuckle that makes your heart rate pick up. You could listen to him laugh all day long.Â
âSâpose it did.â
âThe fuck are you two over here laughing at, huh?â Suddenly Joshâs curls are squished between your seats, his cheeks pinched together as he speaks. âIâm trying to get some shut-eye but I canât from all the babblingââ
Jake places his hand over entirety of his twinâs face, pressing him through and back into his own seat. âNone of your business, fuck off.â
You laugh at their antics, knowing in the back of your mind that you had better get used to it. You feel the air kick on again, fiercely blowing the freezing cold air directly onto you. You shiver a little, balling yourself up and pulling your sleeves closely in toward you again.Â
âYou want my jacket?â Jake asks, already starting to pull it from his shoulders.Â
âNo! No no no, thank you, but Iâm fine, really.â The last thing you need is that right off that bat. A bad look. Day one. Nope.Â
âSeriously, I run naturally hot. Take it.â He replies.Â
âOh yeah? Hence all your layers?â You tease, repositioning in your seat.Â
âItâs a fashion statement, thank you very much.â He bites. âAll about comfort for me.â
Gotta change the subject.Â
âSo tell me something I should know about your brothers. Something that would give me brownie points if I wanted to sayâŚimpress them with my craft service skillsâŚâ you press, giving him a new challenge.Â
âWow um, letâs seeâŚâ he brings his fingers to his chin and thinks hard, and you canât help but feel endeared by the fact that he truly wants to help you out. âJosh stays away from chocolate and dairy and sweets and all that, but his guilty pleasure is those cotton candy flavored grapes. Weird, I know.â
âOh my god, those are so nasty!â you laugh, but still take note.Â
âDanny would be over the moon if you surprised him with salsa verde Doritos, and Sam drinks kombucha more than the normal human should.â he finishes with a stern nod.
âGot it. I think I can make most of that happen, aside from the grapesâŚâÂ
âHe would kiss you right on the lips, Iâm telling you.â Jake giggles again, and you notice how he lights up when he talks about them.Â
âSo Josh is the dramatic softie, what about the other two?â you ask.Â
âSamâs kinda serious but heâs playful when he wants to be. Sneaky, too. Danielâs always into something, always busy. Man doesnât like to sit still,â he concludes, and you commit it all.Â
âAnd what about you?â you ask, feeling your stomach flip for some reason.Â
âI thought you said you wanted to get your own versions of us,â he quipped back, parroting your words from earlier. Damn, you had said that.
You toss your hair behind your shoulder. âI did butâŚYouâll tell me all about them, but not about yourself?â
He crunches his lips together as his eyes scan your face. It makes you a little uncomfortable, how hard heâs really looking at you, but you let him. Stopping him would be a sin you werenât ready to commit just yet.Â
âThatâs right.â
The two of you drift off into silence again as the minutes tick by, thankfully not being embarrassingly interrupted by Josh anymore. You decide that you want to listen to some music, so you reach into the pocket of your bag and pull out your AirPods, slipping the left one in first followed by the right. You pull up your music and begin flipping through your playlists, searching for something to match the relaxed tone of the hour. Truly, you feel like you could easily drift off to sleep.Â
You find a nice quiet playlist and curl up in your seat, halfway reluctant you didnât take Jakeâs jacket, but also proud of yourself for saying no. Youâre fucking freezing.Â
You turn your head to the side and close your eyes, ready to drift off into another world.Â
Youâre jolted awake by turbulence, the plane shaking again as you wake up and get your bearings. âShit,â you breathe as you sit up straighter, remembering exactly where you are. You notice that in your slumber, your head had fallen against Jakeâs shoulder. Fuck. Fuck fuck.
The turbulence only lasts a few seconds before it evens out again, and the calmness returns to your body. You glance at Jake, seeing him looking a little drowsy and shaken, too.
âJake, Iâm so sorry, I didnât mean to do that, why didnât you wake me? Iââ
âHey, donât worry about it. I kinda dozed off, too,â he replies, stretching his arms high above his head without a careâŚnot like he didnât just have a stranger asleep with her head on his shoulder.
You look down, noticing that in the time you had drifted off, Jake had covered you with his coat.Â
You panic, scrambling a little as you work to pull it from your body before anyone notices.Â
His hands are quickly on yours, stopping your action. âLeave it, Y/N. You were shivering in your sleepâŚyou canât tell me you arenât cozy right nowâŚâ his voice is barely a whisper, and the warmth of his hands grazing overtop of yours, even for a second, is enough to give you a whole other type of chill.Â
âYeah, IâI am warmâŚâ you canât deny that your body temperature has increased by at least a couple of degrees, and your fingers donât feel like theyâre going to get frostbite anymore. The jacket is heavy, heavier than it looks, and it smells like fresh pine needles and woodsy body soap. Just likeâŚhim?
âSee?â he growls, backing away. âJust stay put.âÂ
Stay put? You want to bite back with something that will put him in his place; you explicitly told him you didnât want his jacket, and he covered you anyway. While you were unconscious. While you couldnât turn down the offer.Â
âŚBut youâre so warm, now. Your tense muscles are finally relaxing. The frigidity of the space has suddenly turned into a toasty furnace with a crackling fire.
Okay, but just until we landâŚ
âWhat are you listening to?â Jake asks as he stretches again. You turn your phone for him to see, showing a generic playlist of Peaceful Sleep Songs lighting up your lock screen.Â
âAgh, no, what is that shit?â Jake snatches your phone from your hand, quickly flipping the screen to unlock with your face before he begins shuffling through your playlists.Â
âWhat are you doing?!â you yelp, reaching for your phone back. He raises his free hand to the air, stopping you from taking it.Â
âAht aht⌠Iâm finding you something better to listen to. Donât worry about it.â You suddenly hear the quiet music in your ears switch to something else, something you knew for a fact you hadnât ever heard before. You give it a second as he turns the volume up a few notches, and you realize that it is most definitely brand new to you.Â
Itâs a solemn, tense-feeling piano beat, followed in by guitar. Lyrics only come in after a minute and a half or so. It sounds like growling, deep and hollow and a bit scary, but beautiful nonetheless. Heâs watching your face as you experience it, quickly pressing pause as the song comes to a close.Â
âWhat was that?â you ask, realizing you had really enjoyed it.Â
âThat was a song called Intro, by Alt-J. I know youâve heard of Alt-J.â he says as he goes back to work on the phone.Â
You slowly shake your head from side to side. âCanât say I have, actually.âÂ
His jaw goes slack as his eyebrows raise in disbelief. âWhat? Like, never?âÂ
You feel your cheeks turning pink at the thought of a literal rockstar calling you out on your lack of music knowledge.Â
âI donât think so! Thatâs not what I normally listen toâŚdonât judge me,â you laugh, reaching for your phone again.Â
He swats your hand away. âOhh no, little fledgling. Youâre listening to this. This is the good shitâŚâ he presses play again as a twinkling high-pitched voice comes through your ears. Itâs just jumbled words, no backing music or tune. The acapella strikes you as strange at first, until the end when it changes tone a bit, and itâs almost as if the lyrics are giving you advice you didnât ask for. Warning you of something new and exhilarating, or better yet, dangerous and foreboding. It almost feels as if a black cloud has overcome you, only for a split second, letting you feel the nonexistent pokes and pinches that come along with the emotion of worry.Â
The song flows directly into another now, one layered with a lot more sound, and it pulls you from that odd headspace the previous had put you in. You lean over the armrest, looking at the screen to see the title Tessellate. Youâve never heard anything like this kind of music before, and you wonder why Jake chose this particular artist.Â
âThis is one of their more popular ones, like radio popular, but itâs still one of my favorites on this album. Here in a second youâll hear it slow downââ
You stop him by pulling your right earbud out, shoving it in his hand. âShh, you can talk me through the songs later. Let me listen.â
He shuts his mouth, giving you a sweet grin as he takes the bud, placing it in his own ear and pressing play again. You continue on through the album, each song something brand new to you, a genre youâd really never delved into but wish you had, now. Itâs enthralling, different, and full of sounds that make your mind sway and swim through mixtures of color and gray.Â
You watch as Jakeâs fingers tap along exactly with the beat of each song perfectly, down to a tee. The words donât make much sense to you, and you can hardly distinguish what the singer is saying, but you know that Jake will give you a rundown of it all as soon as time allows him. You donât know much about him, but his persistence is already apparent. You glance to see his eyelashes hitting his cheeks, his head barely bobbing side to side as he feels the music. You find yourself envious that he can draw inspiration and act on it, turning it into art of his own, whereas all you can do is sit back and listen to it.
Every couple of minutes he perks up from his meditation and adds new songs from their other albums onto the little playlist heâs started for you. You canât quite make out what heâs titled it, but you can tell it's an emoji of some sort. His thumb flips and flies with precision across your screen as he scrolls and adds songs, and you have to admit, youâre a little excited to get your phone back and learn just what heâs creating for you. Especially for you.
You take a quick deep breath as you recenter yourself, catching your eyes drifting over his hand as he grips your phone. The veins in his hand roll over his knuckles, and you can just barely see the scuffed and calloused ends of his fingertips. Dial it the fuck back Y/N, remember the rules.
âOooh, this is another one of my favorites,â he remarks, his mouth fairly close to your ear as he tries not to raise his voice over the volume of the music. He turns the screen a little so you can see the title, Taro. âYou havenâtâ You didnât come to any of our shows last year by chance, did you?â
You feel a big pang of guilt shoot through your chest, remembering that you had actually been invited by some friends to see them way back when, but youâd turned the invitation down, not knowing who they even were at the time. You shake your head from side to side. âNo, I didnât.â
âThis is one of the ones we play to the crowd before we go on. We all love it, itâs a sad, sad love tale based on true events. Thatâs the cool thing about this group, their lyrics are never really about what you think they are. Theyâre storytellers, a bit like Josh is, if you think about it. Their themes and over arcs are justâŚmind blowing sometimes.â Jakeâs voice is a tiny murmur in your ear as your shoulders lean on one anotherâs again, still very taken with the music flowing through your ear. âWe grab a lot of inspo from them, sonically and melodicallyâŚâ You can feel his breath on your cheek, and you find yourself wondering what it would taste likeâŚ
âHere, read along with the lyrics. Try not to cry.â He hands your phone back, letting you keep up with the words floating down your screen. And heâs right, itâs heartbreaking without even knowing the context.Â
âWowâŚThat was really beautiful,â you choke, realizing the depth of the story of the song.Â
âYep. Good shit, I told you.â He whips his hand around and takes the phone back as the next song comes in and warms your bones up again. You can feel the bare skin of his elbow brushing against yours, realizing that he was telling the truth about being naturally warm-bodied. Suddenly you donât feel so bad about cuddling up under his coat.Â
He opens your contacts app and adds himself, placing the sword emoji beside his name. He smirks as he hands the phone back.Â
âAdded your phone number, huh?â you ask rhetorically.
He sucks his teeth as he cracks his fingers. âYep. How else will I let you know what I might need? Plus, never know when you might need to call me.â
â
You watch the signs overhead illuminate, a gentle tone ringing through the cabin as the Captain starts to make an announcement. You pause the song and pull your AirPod out, watching Jake do the same.Â
âHey folks, this is your Captain speaking. Just want to let you know we will be landing in Hamburg shortly. Iâd expect to be on the ground in the next ten minutes or so, putting us about fifteen minutes ahead of schedule, so sit tight and weâll have you on the ground in a few. Attendants please prepare for arrival.â
You turn to look at Jake, shrugging as you slide your AirPod back into the case. He raises his eyebrows and drops his jaw. âBut we arenât done! Wait! Hold on!â
He grabs your phone again, and from what you can see he is adding more songs to your playlist. You watch as he scrolls through various different albums by different artists, adding songs as quickly as he can. You smirk as you catch sight of the emoji heâs chosen, the chick icon, a playful nod at his earlier fledgling comment. He peeks over at you every few seconds, trying his best to hurry so you can pack up your things, but in a last effort you watch as he adds himself as a collaborator to the playlist.Â
You raise an eyebrow to him as he hands your phone back to you, shrugging with a soft laugh. You feel your insides swirl at the sight of his smile, and you turn your eyes to your phone scrolling through the songs on the playlist. You turn back to him and nod, a silent agreement that you will listen just as you feel the plane starting to land.Â
âI wanna keep adding songs for you to listen to, fledgling. If you want me to, of courseâŚâÂ
You nod. âOf course I do. School away, Jake,â you reply with an air of playful annoyance.
He chuckles. âI plan to.â
As you brace for the landing you grip your hands into the arm rests, letting go of the soft worn in corduroy fabric youâd been playing with for the last hour. Your eyes squint closed as the plane touches down, jolting everyone forward in their seats. Jake grabs his phone as the plane slows down, flashing his screen at you to show a local time of 12:13AM.Â
âI see some jet lag in our future,â you smile, sliding his jacket off of your arms. You fold it the best you can and hand it back to him, almost sad you have to give it back to him. âThanks again for that.â
âOh yeah, no problem.â He accepts it graciously from you, letting out a soft breath as he unfolds it and slides it back over his shoulders. It fits his personality well, soft and sturdy, worn in and weathered. He flips his hair out from beneath the collar, a barely there smell of peppermint passing through the air. You pull your gaze away from him just as you see his cheeks start to blush from your gaze. You lock your phone and stick it into your backpack at your feet, wondering how in such a short amount of time Jake has managed to infiltrate your thoughts so completely.Â
JAKE POV
As she turns to grab her bag you open your phone, tapping on the notification that she has added you to her playlist. You accept the invitation with a sly smile before sliding your phone back into your coat pocket. It smells like her now, soft and floral, very different than anything you were used to. Your mind was already circling with things you wanted to add to that playlist when you got a minute, finding it was harder than you thought to think of songs on the fly.Â
The first few rows begin to file out of the plane and you watch as Paul stands and turns to look at Y/N, motioning to her to meet up with him after she got off the plane. She nods her head and slides her backpack straps over her shoulders, waiting for her turn to stand.Â
âFor jet lagâŚYou knowâŚUm, Benadryl,â you offer, your voice a little soft and unsure.
She turns to look at you, pinching her brows together in question.Â
âWhen you get to your room tonight, take a Benadryl. Should knock you out until the morning and help you get on a normal schedule. Works for me, at least.â you finish, nodding to her as the people in front of you stand to leave.Â
âThanks, Jake.â She smiles and nods, sliding out of her seat to walk down the aisle.Â
You watch her as she walks up the jet bridge towards the gate, seeing Paul waiting for her in the doorway. The two walk together through the airport, finding it fairly quiet at this hour as most of the flights have landed for the night. You push your sunglasses down onto your nose just as you feel Josh walking up behind you.Â
He gives you a gentle nudge in the side to get your attention. âYou good?â
âYeah, yeah. Easy flight,â you answer, still listening and catching bits and pieces of whatever Paul is saying to Y/N, prepping her for the hotel check in and details for the morning. She is typing notes on her phone as she walks, barely looking where she is going, clearly trusting Paul to look out for her more than she should.
You tune out Josh as he rambles on about the flight, Ty jumping in every few words with a retort or a laugh. Your eyes donât seem to leave her though, watching her talk, watching her walk, shit, just watching her. You canât seem to shake it. Youâd never met anyone like her before. Someone you were so instantly taken with. You wanted to know every single detail about her.Â
You feel Joshâs hand as it comes up to your chin, pressing it upward and forcing your jaw shut. âThere, you seemed to have dropped that.â
You turn to him angrily, knowing what heâs insinuating, giving him a hard elbow to the arm. âFuck off, Josh.â
He laughs and pushes you with his shoulder, readjusting his backpack on his other shoulder. âJust an observation, thatâs all. Canât say I blame you, though.â
âOh are you talking about Jake and Y/N?â Sam interjects, stepping up on your right side in a lanky stride.Â
Josh nods, laughing slightly, wanting to keep this banter going. Asshole.Â
âCan you two knock it off, fuck,â you growl, hoping she canât hear them. Your eyes are locked in on her again, and much to your relief she is talking to Paul and canât hear a word theyâre saying.
âHe didnât shut up the entire flight. Lots of whispering and giggles from up there. I didnât sleep at all. But I did hear his monologue about the genius of Alt-J for the fourth time this year.â Josh quips, earning a laugh from everyone around you.Â
âFuck you again, Josh,â you spit, annoyed at his lack of respect.Â
âDamn, so youâre trying to scare her away, then?â Sam teases, giving you a sideways grin.Â
You shake your head and push past them forcefully as you step off the escalator into baggage claim, not wanting to engage in this conversation a second longer. Especially because you were afraid they might be right.Â
â
âShit, not again,â Danny mumbles as you all approach the baggage claim area, immediately noticing a group of fans obviously waiting for your arrival. You take a deep, preparational breath as you canât help but run into them on your path to the carousel.Â
âLetâs just get it over with,â you hear Josh complain as he puts on his faux-happy face. You all love meeting fans. Truly, watching their faces light up when they see you is something that is unparalleled. But coming off of a long flight and already feeling the effects of the time difference, starving, and ready for a drink usually puts all of you in a mood that is generally irked overall. But you always suck it up; this is the life you signed up for.Â
This time though, unlike most encounters with fans, is enough to make your general irritation quickly turn into intense aggravation. They swarm you, hugging and pulling and invading your spaces in an extremely unwelcome attempt at meeting each of you. You feel surrounded, and unable to get to your luggage in time before it rounds the carousel again. You keep your cool, just as you always do, curtly smiling and pulling away as your body instructs you to. You pause for quick photos as your eyes search the spinning luggage again. You see your brothers out of the corners of your eyes doing the same⌠quick âhellosâ and ânice to meet youâsâ as the crowd just seems to get bigger and bigger.Â
Just as your eyes finally fall on your suitcase, you hear a loud clack as you turn and notice someone has knocked Samâs phone out of his hand. It lands face down on the tile floor, likely cracked and scuffed from the people crowding around you all. You watch as Samâs face turns up in annoyance, his eyes closed as he composes himself.Â
âOkay, thatâll be enough!â You hear Dean, your security, bellow across the crowd. âPlease step away, no more photos, no more photosâŚâ Dean makes his way into the center of group, quickly dispersing them. You give Sam a quick look that says, âget your phone, letâs goâ, and soon enough youâre rolling your suitcase through the middle of the crowded room.Â
You see Y/N in the crowd, finding her to be a little flustered from the encounters, but alright nonetheless. You lock eyes with her as she mouths, âAre you okay?â, and you nod her off with a look of, âYeah, this happens all the time.â
Your team is surrounding you as you quickly walk through the hallway toward the exit, ready to hop into an unmarked van and zip away to your hotel. Youâre still being followed as you make it through the back exit doors.
When youâre finally safe outside the pickup area, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. âFuck, that was a bad one.â Danny says. âSam, how's your phone?â
âItâs ok, just a little scuff in the corner but itâll be fine,â he answers, scanning his eyes over it.
âGuys, keep your phones on, Wes will be texting you tomorrow with where weâre headed next. Get some sleep and something to eat.â Paul instructs as everyone loads their things into the vans. Y/N is standing nearby, and you can tell that she feels a little out of place as she awkwardly crosses one ankle over the other. You take a quick opportunity to knock your elbow into her side, feeling comfortable enough to do that now that youâd sat together so long on the plane, but sheâs avoiding eye contact. You hope she doesnât feel uncomfortable around you.
âHey, thanks for letting me jam a little with you on the plane,â you say sheepishly. âSorry if I overstepped any, but I really think youâll like the music I added for you.â
Finally her composure opens a little. âNo, no! You didnât⌠overstep. Iâm actually excited to hop in my big cozy hotel bed and listen again.â Her words make your stomach fall with nerves, but you quickly suppress it.Â
âY/N, you ready?â you hear Wes ask her as he passes by, heading toward another van.
âYep, all set!â she answers as she follows him through the dwindling group. She hops into another van, and you worry sheâll be staying at another hotel. For a second you think you wonât see her as much if she is. You climb inside the van and slam the door closed behind you, seeing the group of fans with their phones pressed to the windows of the airport. You plop back down into the middle seat beside Josh, and finally take a full breath of relief.Â
âFuck! I swear to god if Iâm getting sick againâŚâ Josh says as he bangs his head against the headrest behind him. You scoot sideways on the vanâs bench seat, staying as far away from him as you can.Â
âAre you serious?!â Danny says from the seat behind you. âYou need a mythical medicine man or some shit.â
âItâs fine, Iâm fine, just feel a little congested. Iâll send Y/N out on her first mission for some meds after we get settled in the hotel.â Josh answers, and you keep yourself pressed against the vanâs window, purposefully turning your back to him. Canât have that again. You realize, though, that of course sheâll be in the same hotel as you, management always is.Â
The vision of a worried Y/N replays in your mind, seeing her face full of concern as the fans did all but ambush you earlier. You shake the thought, suddenly having a realization that, most likely, everyone else is having, too.Â
âI think we should amp up security,â you blurt. âNo offense to Dean, but heâs only one guy. There are more than ten of usâŚâ youâre met with a little bit of silence, so you press on. âJust while weâre over here, at least. Weâre going to be separated a lot, and I think it would be a good idea if Dean wasnât being pulled in all different directions.â
âDonât you think we should have thought of that before we got over here, Jake?â Josh counters.Â
âIâve actually been thinking it for a while. Today justâŚmade me feel like itâs necessary, now,â you respond quietly. What could it hurt? You have the funds, and a few extra eyes on you and your team couldnât be a bad thing.Â
You hear a collective sigh from your brothers, until Sam finally speaks. âYeah, I kinda felt a little overwhelmed when I dropped my phone and it got kicked away from me. First world problems, I know, butââ
âBut someone could have picked it up, and ran off with it. Gotten access to your private information. Stepped on it and shattered it. Weâre probably just paranoid, but I donât know. I donât think itâs a bad ideaâŚâ you suggest.Â
âI like the idea.â Josh adds. âWish we would have talked about it sooner, but Iâm sure Paul could get something arranged for us. Those security companies are always looking for overseas gigs.â
âDaniel, you agree?â you ask, twisting your body to the backseat.Â
âYeah, I do, actually,â he decides.Â
âGood. Itâs settled, then. Weâll talk to Paul first thing in the morning,â you say, happy with your decision of bringing it up. All you can see is a memory of Y/Nâs scared face replaying over and over in your mind, and you just canât seem to shake it.
You quickly curse yourself, youâre in no headspace to be worrying about a woman right now. Youâve gotta keep your head on straight. Tour hasnât even started yet, and youâre already letting a new girl give you butterflies. You audibly scoff at yourself as you lean your elbow on the window, looking out at the bustling streets outside. You throw your earbuds in, letting the tangle of cords just be what it is, and you pull your phone out to switch the volume up. Of course, Alt-J pops onto your screen the second you look at it, and you wonder if sheâs already listening to them, too.Â
The city lights are twinkling through the light drizzle of rain, and you finally feel your bones starting to settle into tiredness. Though your mind is racing with excitement to play shows, you let yourself ignore the thoughts and relax into the music blessing your ears. Some room service and a down comforter is calling your name.Â
â--
HER POV
The shrill sound of your hotel room telephone wakes you from a half-sleep. What the hell? What time is it? You donât remember falling asleep, but the loud TV and the lights still illuminating the room signify you must have accidentally dozed off.Â
âHello?â you answer, realizing that no matter the time, duty calls.Â
âHey, Y/N. Itâs Paul. Sorry if I woke youâŚâ
âNo, youâre fine. Iâm awake,â you lie.Â
âCool. Um, Josh was wondering if youâd run to the pharmacy down the street and pick up the meds I just texted you. He said he would go get them himself, but heâs doing a lung steaming treatment or⌠something. I dunno. But if you donât care, hereâs your first assignment! I know itâs late, but the pharmacy is apparently open all night.â
You glance at your watch and see that itâs already nearing 1:00AM. âSure! I donât care at all. Tell him Iâll have them to him ASAP.âÂ
âWill do. Hey, turn your location on for me and Wes, okay? Be safe, thanks again,â Paul hangs up the phone before you can say goodbye, and within seconds youâre crawling out of bed and putting your pants back on. Your stomach growls as you realize you fell asleep without eating anything. You make a plan to make a quick trip to the pharmacy, deliver Josh his medicine, then go back out to find something to eat before you end up eating the bag of peanuts you stuffed in your bag on the plane.Â
You take a second to check your messages, finding you have three unread messages from Ruth. In the mess and confusion of the day, and the time difference, youâve been thrown for a loop. You shoot her a quick few texts to let her know youâre alive and well, but you leave out the sweet little detail that youâd shared AirPods with the guitarist of the band youâre touring with. Youâd get into that part later.
The walk to the pharmacy is short, thankfully, and you find the things Josh needs without much of an issue at all. The city is still fairly crowded with people at this hour, and you make sure to track your steps backward just the way you came to get back to the hotel. Your stomach rumbles again, and the smells coming from the various restaurants around you have your head spinning with hunger.Â
A few quiet knocks on Joshâs hotel room door bring him to answer it within seconds, and his warm composure instantly makes you feel welcome. âY/N! Thank you so much, seriously. I need to knock this shit out before it gets any worse, and I think you just saved the day,â he gushes as you see clouds of steam pouring out of his cracked bathroom door, and smell the sweet scent of herbal fragrances as they waft through your nose. âYou have any trouble finding the place? Google said it was close byâŚâ
âAnytime, Josh. And no, actually. It was right around the corner,â you answer, handing him the bag of meds.
âGood. Well I wonât bother you again, you heading to sleep?â he asks with a warm tone.
You bite the inside of your lip as your stomach screams at you again. âNo, I passed a little pub on my walk, and it smelled amazing as I walked by. Think Iâm gonna go have a drink and get something to eat. Iâm starving.â
âGo feed yourself, love. Enjoy the city. Weâve got a long day tomorrow!âÂ
âWill do, see you tomorrow!â you say as he closes the door.Â
âThanks again! See ya!â
You make your way to the elevator and down to the bottom floor, digging your phone out of your pocket to check your location and make sure the pub is still going to be open at this hour. A quick search for Le Marmitone tells you the kitchen doesnât close for another hour, so you pick up your pace and head straight for the pub.Â
The wind and rain have picked up a little bit, and you thank yourself for adding a few layers on before you left your hotel room earlier. The cold air bites at your cheeks as you meander through the people still out walking the streets, and the smell of the food drifting on the wind draws you straight back to the pub. Upon entering the double doors, you find that it is actually a nice restaurant with a bar.Â
You grab a seat at the corner of the bar, glancing to the coolers and shelves to see what your drink options are.
âEvening madame, here is a menu. Can I get you a beverage?â a man in a sport coat asks as he hands you the shiny white menu. His accent is thick, but you can understand him fairly easily.
âHello. Could I have a whiskey soda and a water, please?â you ask as you remove your heavy jacket and hang it over the back of the stool. You look over the menu choices and decide on a bowl of soup and a sandwich, more of a lunch option, but a steaming hot bowl of soup sounds exactly like what you need right now.Â
There are a few people still scattered throughout the restaurant, most closing their tabs and leaving for the night. There are a few patrons still at the bar, stuck in conversations with one another or watching whatever game is playing on the big screen.Â
The bartender sets your drinks in front of you as you tell him your food order, and you pull out your phone to begin fishing through emails and making your daily checklists. The Whiskey drink is strong, but not too strong, and you let yourself enjoy the immediate warmth it sends coursing through your veins.Â
You fill your stomach up as far as it will allow you, and you decide that one more drink probably wonât hurt, as the place doesnât close up for another hour. Youâre enjoying yourself, basking in the calm before the storm that is going to hit promptly at 10AM tomorrow.Â
ââScuse me, sir. Iâll take one more drink and my check, please,â you alert the bartender. He nods and turns to concoct your drink and print your tab. When he returns, he plops a bright red maraschino cherry onto the top.Â
âGentleman at the end of the bar says this one is on him, maâam.â He places the white slip of paper in front of you as he removes your dishes, and disappears. Your eyes slowly drift to the left, landing on an older gentleman who had been lingering at the end of the bar since youâd gotten here. His friends have since left, leaving him to finish off a few more rounds by himself.Â
He smiles hard when you notice him, and slides off his stool, stumbling his way toward you. You feel your heart rate pick up as he approaches you, and you remember that you do have mace in your purse, should you need it, Ruthâs one request.
âHello, lovely. Enjoy that drink on me this evening,â he slurs with a heavy accent. He sits down in the stool beside you, and suddenly youâd rather not have that second drink, after all. You glance at the drink, and back to him, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in his presence.Â
âUm, thank you, really. But IâIâve actually got to go. Itâs getting to be later than I thoughtâŚâ you lie, pulling out some cash from your purse to pay the bill.Â
âNonsense! Have the drink, beautiful. Tell me, where are you from? Your accent tells me itâs somewhere far away from hereâŚâ he presses, pushing the drink toward you. His hands are giant, and covered in dark hair. He has a beard of the same color that reaches almost down to his stomach, and you can smell the alcohol radiating from his breath.Â
âThe States,â you say bluntly, avoiding eye contact with him as the bartender is nowhere to be found. You immediately kick yourself for not telling Dean where you had run off to, all by yourself. You know better than this.Â
âObviously, sweetheart. But where?â he asks.Â
âUm, a small town, youâve probably never heard of it,â you go on, beginning to pull your jacket on and leave the money on the bar top. Suddenly the manâs hand is on the back of the stool, holding it steady as you try to turn it.Â
âIâd like to hear all about it, love,â he growls, and you suddenly feel very intimidated. There is no one else around, no other patrons at the bar, you couldnât feel the presence of another human or employee running about, and you contemplated making a run for it.Â
âI promise Iâm not here to scare you, just talk. Thatâs all Iâd like to doâŚâ he goes on, backing his hand away from the chair as he notices your panic. Finally, the bartender makes his way back, but instead of taking your check, he continues cleaning and re-stocking for the night. Youâre alone, and uncomfortable. Why did you do this to yourself?Â
Suddenly you remember that Jake put his number in your phone. You know you canât get a hold of Dean at this hour, especially since you didnât tell him you were going anywhere. You canât make that bad of a first impression before your first day even really happens.Â
You quickly turn your attention to your phone, trying to figure out what to do, but then it hits you. You type in the name, taking a deep breath before sending Jake a risky text as a last ditch effort.Â
âWhatâs a pretty girl like you doing here alone, hmm?â the man asks as you turn away from him to type as quickly as you can.
You
1:47AM: Jake, are you awake?
Your foot taps nervously on the floor, the man next to you doing everything in his power to corner you into this seat. A text bounces back after a minute, and you feel your shoulders relax just a touch.Â
Jake đĄ
1:49AM: How did you get this number?
You
1:50AM: You put it in my phone today on the plane. Are you busy?
Jake đĄ
1:51AM: Oh, hey. No, Iâm just getting ready to go to bed, why whatâs up? You okay?
You
1:52AM: No. I donât think so. I hate to ask this, I know itâs late. Is there any way you could come meet me? I left to get something to eat and didn't tell anyone and this guy here has me cornered into my seat and I don't think he is gonna let me leave alone.
Jake đĄ
1:53AM: Share your location, Iâm leaving now.
You
1:54AM: Thank you. I owe you.
âDid you hear me sweetheart? I said, are you expecting someone?â the man asks, a sly grin on his face as he leans closer to you.Â
You quickly glance back down at your phone, sharing your location with Jake and hoping he can find you. You lock your phone and put it in your purse, pretending youâre a lot less anxious than you actually are.
âActually, yes, I am. MyâŚboyfriend is on his way. Heâll be here in just a second.â you lie, doing your best to speak confidently. âI should probably step outside to meet him.â
âNo, no, stay, you havenât touched your drink,â he says, gesturing to the glass of alcohol. âI know a place down the street, stays open late, too.â
You feel your skin start to grow clammy, the man's intentions suddenly becoming very clear. Your heart is pounding as you try to talk your way out of the situation. You clear your throat, and just as you start to speak you see the front door of the restaurant open. Jake steps inside, looking side to side, his eyes quickly scanning the entirety of the restaurant until he locks eyes with you.Â
He nods to the host at the door as he walks toward you, wearing the same clothes from earlier but now his hair is a little messier. You know he got out of bed to do this.Â
You instantly stand from your seat as Jake steps up, reaching towards him as he settles himself between you and the man.Â
âHey baby, you finally made it,â you coo, your pleading eyes locked on Jakeâs as he wraps his arm around your shoulder in a welcoming hug. You can smell him, the cologne lingering on his coat. The same coat that was wrapped around you only hours ago.
He pulls away and drops his arms to his side as you turn to him. You stare at him just a second longer, hoping he can hear the words you are screaming in your mind. He blinks and turns to look at the man before letting his eyes flick back to you.Â
âYeah, yeah, of course babe, sorry I was late,â he pauses, turning to face the drunk man beside him. âWho is this?â
You let out a small breath of relief as he silently agrees to play along with you. âOh, he came over from the bar. He sent this drink over, but I just canât drink it. I already had one and you know I work in the morning,â you answer, hoping he is understanding what youâre trying to say. âDo you want it?â
He looks so effortless standing there with a hand in his jacket pocket. He tilts his head and scrunches his nose just a bit before answering, âAhh, nahâŚIt looks like a watered down well pour and I just had one myself before I got here. Iâm alright. We should probably get going though, we have an early day tomorrow and itâs fairly late already.â
Yes.
âOh, you two are terrible liars. He isnât your boyfriend, is he sweetheart?â the man asks, scoffing at Jake. âYou should come with me, I can show you the city better than this fool.â
âThatâs an awfully brazen assumption, sir, I must say.â Jake argues, pulling his hand from his coat pocket and grabbing yours. You suck in a harsh breath feeling his fingers lace with yours. Fake or not, there was definitely a new feeling swirling through your veins.Â
âLook at her, sheâs flustered. This woman hasnât ever been touched by you. Itâs written all over her face.â he continues, looking Jake over.Â
âYour boyfriend, your husband, he isnât any of those things. I donât see a ring on your finger, and I donât know how they do things where youâre from, but in this country, you my dear, are fair game.â
You want to snap back. The audacity is astounding. You start to step forward, ready to lay into him, but you feel Jakeâs hand squeeze yours and you know heâs telling you to follow his lead this time.
âShe is with me, sir,â Jake spits. âAnd it would be in your best interest to back off.â
âOh, is that right?â the man counters, standing up from his seat, giving him a few good inches over Jake. Jake didnât falter though. Of course he didnât. He knew that didnât matter.
âKiss her, then. If sheâs yours, kiss her,â he quips.Â
âAbsolutely not, I donât have to prove anything to you, and quite frankly sir, itâs none of your business,â Jake snaps, you can tell heâs starting to get mad, his hand gripping yours a little harder. âLetâs go, babe.â
You stand firm next to him, not letting your face show a single waiver of emotion as the man waits to see if youâll crack. Jake starts to walk away pulling you behind him, but before you can move the man grabs your other arm, taking both of you by surprise.Â
âStay, sugar. Let a real man take you home.â
Jake snaps his head around, hearing the words fall from the man's drunken mouth. For a minute youâre scared. You donât know how Jake is going to react, his jaw is hard set and his nostrils flared in anger. You hear him curse under his breath as he shakes his head.Â
âYou know what? Fuckinâ fineâŚâ he challenges, looking at the man then to you, nodding just enough for you to notice.
Just as you feel the anxiety of what he is about to do bloom in your chest, he reads your body language, letting a sweet and quiet âSâokayâ slip from his lips.
Your eyes widen a little as you realize whatâs about to happen, but take solace in the fact that heâs likely just as nervous as you are. He stops, pulling you in towards him as his hand grabs at your waist.
His fingers grip into your hairline as he tilts your head just enough to deepen the kiss. His tongue swipes over your lips, hot and wet as your hands slide up his body to rest on his chest. You kiss him back, youâre trying to sell this as the real thing, but also partly because you just want to. You try not to think about that part too much as you let your tongue flick against his just for a second before pulling it back. You feel the vibration on your lips as the softest groan leaves his mouth just as he pulls away from you.Â
Your lips are wet with the taste of him and your chest is heaving as Jake rubs his lips together and clears his throat. He turns to the man who is standing there staring at the two of you, a bit of challenge in his tone as he speaks. âYou good now?â
The man scoffs, mumbling a curse as he bats at the air between you. You feel yourself relax in Jakeâs grip as the man turns to walk back to his original place at the bar. A quiet âfuckâ leaves Jakeâs mouth as he turns his attention back to you, stepping back and releasing his grip on you.Â
His eyes search yours just as yours search his, both of you unsure what to say. Instead he looks over to the man again, nodding his head to him as he grabs your hand again and guides you towards the door.
âYou okay?â he asks, opening the door and letting you walk out into the drizzle. You pull your jacket closed across your front, the cold air chilling your skin.Â
âYeah, yeah. Iâm okay. Thank youâ for that,â you murmur as he steps up next to you. He grabs your hand again, lacing his warm fingers with your cold ones, taking you by surprise.Â
âOh, itâs okay now Jake, he isnât following us,â you offer, looking over your shoulder to check. He doesnât drop your hand though, in fact you feel his fingertips brush across your knuckles, sending a whole different kind of chill through your body.Â
âI know,â he answers, smiling shyly as he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye. Youâre positive he can see the blush that has taken over your cheeks, your mouth suddenly dry, and your mind unable to form a response. You feel the butterflies swirling around in your stomach as you walk towards the hotel, the rain starting to taper off finally.Â
âYou can trust me, you know,â he says, his voice sincere as he guides you around puddles.Â
âI barely know you, Jake,â you smile, bumping your shoulder into his.Â
âFor now,â he answers, squeezing your hand in his.Â
He opens the door to the hotel lobby, the warm air instantly hitting you. Jake drops your hand, your fingertips brushing against his. You kind of miss it, in a way you definitely shouldnât be.Â
âThank you again, for doing all of that. Iâm really sorry. I fucked up, I wonât make that mistake again,â you say, watching him press the button for the elevator. Your eyes linger on his lips, a little pink from the cold air outside.Â
âIt was no problem, I promise. Stop apologizing,â he pauses, motioning for you to step into the elevator. âLet me walk you to your room, what floor?â he asks, his finger hovering over the buttons.
âOh, no itâs really okay, you donât have to do that. I promise Iâm good now,â you stammer, watching his lips turn up in a huff of laughter.Â
âY/N, what floor?â
âNine,â you squeak, your eyes fixated on the dimple in his cheek. You feel your skin growing warm just from looking at him, you feel like you might burst into flames just at the thought of how his lips felt on yours. Did you imagine that whole encounter? No way all of that just happened.
âMe as well,â he says, pressing the button as the doors close.
The two of you ride up in silence, casting each other the occasional glance every few seconds. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you're positive you stopped breathing. The elevator chimes as it reaches the ninth floor, and you nearly jump out of your skin at the sound.Â
He smiles at you again as the doors open, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him. âYour room number?â
âUm, I think I'm 924, all the way down,â you answer, your heart jumping in your chest.Â
He nods his head and puts a hand into his pocket. âAlright, Iâm just up here in 915, but Iâll walk you down.â
âJake you really donât have to, you can justââ
He turns to you and laughs, shaking his head again. âJust let me.â
âFine.â You huff a breath, pulling your own keycard from your purse. He walks only a step behind you, both hands in his pockets now as you step up to your door. You tap your key to the lock and hear it beep, signaling for you to enter. You turn to look at Jake, seeing a softness to his face you hadnât noticed until now.Â
âThank you, forâŚbeing such a gentleman,â you say playfully, smiling at him.Â
âMy pleasure, Miss Y/N. There is some chivalry left in the worldâŚâ he answers, bringing his hand up to rub at his lips.Â
You start to enter your room, and hear him speak again, this time very quietly. âWeâre not all bad.â
You turn around to see him shifting his weight still rubbing his fingers over his chin as if he expected you not to hear him.Â
âWhat?â
He hesitates as he makes eye contact with you, clearly shocked you heard him. You can tell he wants to say something but heâs holding back. Maybe youâve spooked him.Â
He shakes his head with a smile, as if telling himself whatever he wanted to say was stupid. He pulls his phone and his keycard from his pocket and grips them in his hand. âNothing, nothing, um, have a good evening. I will see you in the morning, I suppose.â
You nod once, giving him a sweet and appreciative smile, âSee you in the morning.â
He lingers for just a moment, eyes locked on yours before flicking down to your lips. He catches himself and looks back at you before turning to head down the hallway. You shut the hotel room door and twist the lock, letting out the breath you had been holding with a gasp.Â
You spin around, letting your back press against the door as you sink down to the floor with a barely audible squeal. Holy. Shit. What the hell was that?
Pull yourself together Y/N.
You grab your purse and stand up, digging through it as fast as you can in search of your phone. You have no earthly idea what time it is in Nashville but you donât care as you pull up your texts with Ruth, and begin furiously typing.Â
You
2:34AM: Without going into detail I definitely just kissed the guitarist đŤ˘
You toss your bag onto the chair and change into your pajamas, your blood still rushing around in your body as you try to calm your nervous system. A text bounces back, and you know itâs her.Â
Ruth
2:40AM: WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL???? KISSED? I just got to my desk!!!! Iâm here. Iâm sat. Iâm listening. I want every single detail in a five paragraph essay with MLA formatting.
You
2:42AM: Lol it is 2:40 in the morning. I will call you tomorrow, which is really still today for you, but kinda tomorrow for me? I donât know this is confusing but I will call you and give you the full run down because we also shared airpods on the plane and he made me a playlist? Love you goodnight!
Ruth
2:44AM: AIRPODS? A PLAYLIST??????
2:45AM: Y/N NO! GET BACK HERE
2:45AM: Okay. Hang on, Iâm googling him. I need to see this manâs face
2:46AM: Wait thereâs two guitarists
2:46AM: Ok one is the bassist HELLO?? You kissed HIM?! Aldjsfklsk
2:48AM: Itâs totally fine and I am being so normal about this. Talk to you later, if I havenât pulled all my hair out by then! Iâll be creeping his insta all day! Goodnight!
You laugh as you read her onslaught of messages, knowing that she is likely going out of her mind with possible scenarios. You make your way into the bathroom, washing your face and brushing your teeth so that you can positively melt into the bed and sleep until your alarm forces you awake. Youâre patting your face dry as your phone buzzes on the bathroom counter, but the noise it makes isnât one youâre familiar with. You hang the towel on the ring and pick up your phone, seeing a notification come through that is brand new to you.
âJake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: đĽâ
He what?Â
Now?
Your blood runs cold just seeing his name on your phone afterâŚwellâŚwhatever that was.
You turn off the bathroom light, hesitantly sliding your finger across the notification, and letting it bring up the playlist. There at the very bottom you see that a new song was added two minutes ago. But not just any song, no. You know this one. You know this one well. You tap on the song hearing the familiar and haunting guitar riff of âKiss Meâ by Sixpence None the Richer start to play through your phone speakers.
You canât help but to laugh, a smile of shock has your jaw hanging wide open as you stand in your giant fancy hotel room, listening to what you consider to be a fairly romantic song sent straight to you from none other than your knight in shining, well, corduroy, armor. You couldnât even picture him listening to this song, and somehow that almost made it a little better.Â
As the chorus plays you fall backwards onto your bed, the fluffy white sheets enveloping you as a giddy feeling swirls through your chest. Heâs thinking about me. Heâs thinking about that kiss. You felt guilty for thinking about it, but now? Now you werenât feeling so guilty. He liked it just as much as you did, clearly.Â
Jake Kiszka liked kissing you.Â
You.Â
What?
You couldnât wipe the stupid smile off of your face if you had to. You didnât want to. This was quite possibly the most thrilling thing that has happened to you in months. Years! You had all but forgotten about creepy bar man at this point, but god you have half a mind to walk right back into that bar and shake his hand.Â
But, you knew you had to calm down. Take a breath. The song came to a close, leaving the hotel room silent. Your mind was still swimming in bliss, replaying the feeling of his lips on yours, the way his hands held yours, the way he smelled, the way his lips tasted, oh god⌠He was thinking about your kiss. He all but told you so.Â
You were also thinking about that kiss. He wanted you to know he was thinking about it. How can youâ Oh. A sly grin spreads across your face as you type into the search bar.Â
You find the song youâre looking for, your thumb hovering over the add button as you try to talk yourself out of doing this. It could end badly, terribly, really. He is technically your boss, and you know you shouldnât be doing this, but. Hey, youâre just the runner. You smile as you watch the little box pop up reading âAddedâ.
Your heart starts to pound. Did he get a notification? Is he asleep? Did he see it? Will he understand? Since when did you start communicating with people through song titles?
You rush back to the playlist scrolling to the bottom and smiling as you press play on the new addition to your shared playlist. It's mere seconds before âDo It Againâ by Steely Dan starts to play and you laugh, knowing you are absolutely crazy. Do it again, of course you wanted to do it again. God he probably thinks youâre such a loser. Plot twist, you are, but he doesn't have to know that yet.Â
You listen to the song, plugging your phone into the charger and turning off the lamp. Youâve always loved Steely Dan, it reminds you of your dad, but then again who doesnât it remind of their dad? The song comes to a close, your giddy feeling finally starting to wear off as the exhaustion starts to step into its place. Your eyes feel heavy as you roll towards the nightstand to set your alarm, groaning at how soon itâs coming. You lock your phone and settle into the pillows, letting out a content sigh as you recap the day in all of its insane glory.Â
Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, the glow illuminating the room for just a brief second. You freeze as you stare up at the ceiling, almost too scared to look. Did he add another song? What if he changed his mind? What if you overstepped? Oh god. You should not have done that. What were you thinking? Â
You suck in a breath as you grab your phone, nervously tapping the screen that shows no new songs added, but a text from Jake.Â
Jake đĄ
3:04AM: I fully intend to.Â
Oh, he definitely saw it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Join the Tag List Here
Taglist: @britney-gvf @gretavanmoon @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj @dancingcarbon
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Cassieâs Fic Recsđ¤
Iâm updating my fic recommendations list!
All these fics are 18+ and contain smut. So if you arenât 18+ please move along.đŤśđť
Josh
Something About You - @abeautylives
Errant - @gretavangroupie @sacredstarcatcher
Drift - @gretavangroupie
Valtava - @gretavanlace
Feather Light - @tripthelightfandomtastic
The Meditation Room - @fleet-of-fiction
Absolutely Smitten - @alwaysonthemend
Travelers In Time - @samkiszkasfacialhair
Vengeance - @samkiszkasfacialhair
Brightest Blue - @garbagevanfleet
Abbadon - @garbagevanfleet
Cabin Fever - @hearts-hunger
Praises and a Punishment - @streamingcolors-gvf
Endless Sunmer - @anthemofgvf
Knock, Knock - @kissthesungvf
Jake
Edible - @gretavangroupie @sacredstarcatcher
Voyeur - gretavangroupie
Covet - @jakeyt
The Vanishing - @fleet-of-fiction
Muse - @joshym
Capital Vices - @builtbybrokenbells
Just A Kiss - @aflame4goinghome @dancingcarbon
Watered Down - @spark-my-nature
Lazarus- @garbagevanfleet
Hands To Yourself - @sinsofstardust
Satin - @daisyful-gvf
Danny
Enrapture @gretavangroupie @sacredstarcatcher
Illicit Affairs - @aflame4goinghome @gretavanstink @childinthegardenn
Thrills In The Night - @sparrowofthedawnsworld
Sam
Exposure - gretavangroupie sacredstarcatcher
Pink Lemonade - garbagevanfleet
Union - gretavangroupie
Twins
Kismet @gretavangroupie @sacredstarcatcher
Shake My Faith - @capturethechaos @earthlysorrows
Skin Deep - @streamingcolors-gvf
What Is & What Should Never Be - @sinsofstardust
Shake Your Foundations- @alwaysonthemend
Poppins - @gretavanlace
Lex Talionis - @builtbybrokenbells
Janny
Valor - @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon
Guilty Pleasures - @builtbybrokenbells
Forbidden Twin
Vigilance - @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon
Gold Dust Woman - @builtbybrokenbells
Cruel Summer - @sacredstarcatcher
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bringing this one back, because it has always been one of my favorite reads.
Knock, Knock
jmk x f!reader
warnings: (18+) MINORS DNI!! | profanity | oral (f!receiving) | unprotected sex (wrap it up!)
word count: 3.1k
just a little bit of neighbor!josh for you ;)
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
It was another quiet weekend, another Saturday at home, sun rays flooding through the gap of your curtains as you changed from the jeans you had worn during your morning errands, into a pair of, skimpy, yet comfortable lounge shorts. You made your way out of your room and towards your couch, letting out a sigh.
You had been headed down to the lobby to check your mail as you did every Saturday morning, when you had passed him in the hallway again.
His skin was glistening with sweat as he shot you a quick smile before disappearing into the elevator. He had recently starting going to the gym in your apartment complex more than usual, and it was beginning to show.
You shut your eyes, falling back onto your couch, thinking back on the curves of his biceps, and the way the damp material of his tank top clung to his toned torso.
Your thighs clenched together just thinking how nice it would be to run your nails along the back of his arms, what it would feel like lie beneath him.
Now he wasn't a stranger, he was your next door neighbor, and the cutest one you'd ever had at that. It started when he caught you struggling to carry boxes through your door the day you moved in, quickly offering a helping hand. Soo after that, he was frequently was knocking at your door, offering you leftovers of the various dishes his mom would send home with him anytime he would visit, or asking to borrow some random kitchen utensil, and eventually he would come over just to talk to you.
Only as of recent had your far from innocent thoughts of him began.
He was at your door late one night, clearly flustered and needing someone to talk to, so you invited him in as you always did, but this time had been different.
You worked him down from his heated state of mind, reassuring him that his professor simply didn't understand how creative his mind was and how the below average grade he had received didn't make him any less of of talented film maker. But seeing him so flustered set something off inside you that you couldn't shake, maybe it had been the way he clenched his jaw or how dark his brown eyes turned, but changed your perspective of him.
"Thank you, (y/n), sometimes you're the only one who understands "Â He had said to you, placing a hand on your thigh as he spoke, his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin.
Your breath hitched as you nodded, struggling to get the words out to let him know you would always be around for him if he needed someone to talk to.
"You don't know how much I appreciate that, and I would gladly do the same for you. Goodnight (y/n)" He had smiled, squeezing your thigh ever so slightly before heading back to his own apartment.
After that night, you were left with an ache in your core. His presence, his smile, his laugh, the way he would lean against your door frame continuing to talk to you even though the real conversation ended ten minutes ago consumed you. You needed to feel him, taste him, just needed him ..just once.
A loud knock pulled you from your thoughts as you quickly sat up, readjusting yourself and appearance.
"Oh jesus, you scared me Josh!" You place your hand over your chest opening the door, realizing the familiar man leaning against your door frame, "you never knock that loud..I thought it was the landlord or something.."
"Well I had been knocking for about five minutes mama, what were you doing?" He smile mischievously, looking around as he lets himself in.
Your cheeks burn at the sound of the pet name he had gotten into the habit of calling you.
"Nothing really" you lie, closing the door watching as he makes himself comfortable on your couch, "just picking up a bit..never know when I'm going to have company around here.." You bite playfully, taking a seat at the near him on the couch.
"What are you here for anyways? Besides letting your wet hair drip all over my couch?" You laugh, noticing the droplets of water fall from his freshly washed curls.
"You know I have to let it air dry," He retorts, pointing at you "and I don't know..just came by to see how you were? Classes have been kicking my ass lately, haven't had the time to come bother you." He finishes, flashing you a heartbreakingly beautiful smile.
"Well I'm doing about the same, minus missing your random appearances at my door." You smile back, deciding to see were your flirtatious attitude gets you.
"Oh yea?" He asks, cocking his head to the side.
"Yea..it gets lonely around here.." You assure, pulling your knees up to your chest, and wrapping your arms around your knees. "All I have to keep me company, are the ten different assignments that are due next week." You joke.
"You don't ever go out? Surely you have no problem finding a guy who's dying to come home with you?" He pries playfully, throwing his arms over the back of your couch, a smug smile on his face.
"I do go out, thank you very much." You snip, letting your knees fall back to your side so that you can cross your arms over your chest. "It's just that the guys around here are just a bunch of assholes, and not to mention they suck at sex because they only ever care about getting themselves off..â you rant, âand my friends..well thatâs all they go after, so it gets old quick.â
"Oh really?" He scoffs, "well I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with 'the guys around here'.." he smiles, trying to contain a laugh, but failing.
"That is not what I meant Josh," You snip, "I am just basing my opinion off the two very unremarkable men I've been with since being here."
"Well, you can't group us all together." He says, smile fading as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes fixating on you.
"No?" You ask with an amused smile.
"Hm-mph, some just aren't as talented as others" he shrugs, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile, only a portion of his teeth showing through.
You take in the sight of him, his white t shirt stretched up just enough due to his spread arms, that a sliver of his toned abdomen is exposed, and the ever so slight half chub and forming in his khaki joggers.
"Well then I guess I just haven't been lucky enough to know what you mean.." you say, trying to keep your front up, the heat growing between your thighs becoming harder to ignore by the second.
"C'mere." He says lowly, licking his lips quickly.
"What?" You nearly croak out, and your eyes wide.
"Come. Here." He reiterates, hardly sounding like himself, as he extends a hand out towards you.
You do as your told, wondering if your dirty fantasies are about to come true as you slowly crawl towards him until he pulls you into his lap.
You let out a few shaky breaths as he places his hands on your sides, his eyes roaming over your body.
"Josh..." you say quietly, still hesitant to fully situate yourself in his lap, wondering if you should pinch yourself to see if this is actually happening or not.
"Relax, mama. Let me show you how you should be treated." He says thickly as he gently pulls down on your hips until you're fully sat on his lap.
You nearly moan at the feeling of his now prominent erection brushing against your clothed bundle of nerves.
"Yea?" He smiles at sound thatâs escaped between your parted lips, noticing your half lidded eyes.
"Oh shut up.." You groan, looking away.
"C'mere" he says barely above a whisper as you feel his hand underneath your chin, gently guiding you to face him.
You think of something to say, but lose all train of thought the second he connects his lips to yours.
Like two puzzle pieces, your lips fit together as the kisses go from soft and sweet to hungry within seconds. Your hands find their way to his chest, gathering the material of his shirt in your fists as you feel his tongue slip into your mouth.
You stay like that for a bit, to caught up in the heavy make out session to realize how you had subconsciously began to slowly grind yourself onto him, causing him to lose his patience he was trying so hard to have with you.
He pulls away, and you whine at loss of feeling of his lips on yours, "Can we take this to your room? Although it would be hot to fuck you right here on your couch, I just think I should leave a better first impression.." He coyly suggests.
"Yea, we can" you answer with a smile glancing towards your open bedroom door, beginning to move off his lap until you feel his grip on you tighten.
"I got you, mama" He smiles as you take his hint, wrapping your hands around his neck, and legs around his torso as he begins to stand up.
"So this is why you've been hitting the gym so often lately, huh?" You joke placing a kiss just below his ear.
"We all train for something." He admits with a smirk, groaning at the feeling of your lips on his neck.
Before you know it, heâs laying you back on your bed, wasting no time shedding his shirt before crawling over you.
"Can I tell you a secret?" You ask quietly, his lips now taking a turn kissing along your neck.
"Mmhmm" he moans against your neck, his hands snaking underneath your shirt.
"I've thought about you like this before.." you half moan as his hand slips under the lacy material of your bralette, rubbing your nipple between the pad of his fingers, âbeing underneath you like this..â you choke out, the mixed sensation of his lips and his hands fogging your mind.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't do the same." He admits bringing his face to meet yours, placing a chaste kiss on your lips, his hand leaving your breast, his fingers tracing down your side, causing goosebumps to erupt over your soft skin.
You try to hide your blush at his confession, sitting up to remove your own shirt, tossing it to the side as you let your head fall back onto the pillows.
"Can I get rid of these too?" He asks, hooking a finger into the waistband of your shorts, looking back up at you for confirmation.
You take your bottom lip between your teeth, nodding quickly and assisting him in slipping the article of clothing down your legs, kicking them off to god knows where. He quickly kicks his pants off right after, repositioning himself over you once again.
"God, (y/n) ...you look so fucking heavenly.." He swallows thickly, taking in every inch of you in as he hovers just above you.
"Well then it's a shame I'm probably about to go to hell for what we're about to do." You slyly smile, propping yourself up on you elbows, meeting his lips with yours.
"Then let's make it worth it, baby." He says against your mouth, wrapping a hand around your throat with a slightly tight grip.
You can only manage to get a moan out in agreement, your head in a frenzy over the feeling of him being so close.
His hand travels up your neck, until his thumb is pressed against your bottom lip, pulling it down ever so slightly.
"Be a good girl, and take this off hm?"Â He says in a sultry yet sweet tone referring to your bra, and you quickly do as he asks, propping yourself up, fumbling with the clasps out of excitement.
"Better?" You ask, laying back and placing a hand on the back of his neck to pull him closer.
"Much." He smiles against your lips, before fully capturing them in is, his free hand caressing your breast.
He positions his knee so that it rests against your soaked through underwear, grinning into the kisses as he takes note on just how eager you are for him.
"Is that all for me?" He asks glancing down your body.
"It's all your fault, if that's what your asking." You moan into his ear, nibbling at his earlobe as he pushes his knee closer to your heat, earning another, louder, moan from you.
"Bet it tastes so sweet, mama" he mumbles against your neck, slowly taking his time in placing his kisses lower and lower as you become more and more undone.
He spends a good amount of time paying just the right amount of attention to your breast leaving his mark as his teeth graze against the soft skin, and making sure to fully capture both of your nipples in his mouth, the motion of his tongue flicking over the sensitive buds causing you to cry out his name over and over.
You squirm underneath him as his lips finally find themselves just above your navel, his hands now palming your inner thighs.
Finally he moves a hand closer to where you want him the most, toying with the fabric of your underwear.
"Josh please.." you whine, shutting your eyes in anticipation.
"So impatient.." he whispers against the thin material, the feeling of his breath on your cunt causing your back to arch.
"Bet the other guys never took the time to care for you like this.." he says lowly, his thumb running straight down the middle of your soaked panties, "..did they, baby?"
"N-no.." you whimper, the pressure of his finger almost sending you over the edge.
"What a shame,"Â he begins, hooking his fingers into the sides of your underwear and in one swift movement, pulling them down before slowly dragging his tongue up your heat, "because you taste so fucking good." He finishes, keeping his eyes fixated on your cunt, his mouth slightly agape.
"Oh fuck!â You cry out as he adds a finger, continuing to lap up every last bit of you.
You gently take a fistful of his curls, watching as he adds another finger making sure not to break the contact his lips have on you.
With each pump of his fingers, and every lick you feel yourself coming closer and closer to your breaking point.
"I-I don't think I'm going to last much longer.." you struggle to find the words to say, his pace quickening, your vision becoming hazy.
"Cum for me then, baby" he coos eagerly watching as you come undone all over his fingers.
"God, you're a sight to see." He smirks, watching you come down from your high, chest heaving.
He takes his index and middle finger, running them up your cunt, coating them in you, then bringing them to your lips.
"Open up, wanna show you just how sweet you taste.." he says lowly, placing his fingers on your tongue as you close your mouth around them, sucking your cum off of them, making sure to keep eye contact with him as you do.
He moans as you suck his fingers clean, removing them once there's no trace of you left on them.
You bring your lips to his once again, lust completely taking over as they move in synch.
You sit up to return the favor as he finally slips his boxer off, but he gently pushes you back, cupping the side of your face with his hand, the other stroking his length, "That can wait for next time, mama. Need to feel you around me right now."
You throw your head back onto the pillow the second you felt his tip against your entrance. Your nails drag against the back of his arms with the first few half strokes, the anticipation of feeling all of him killing you.
Finally he fully sinks into you, hiking your left leg up as to get a better angle.
"Oh fuck Josh.." you groan, the sound of your hips snapping together beginning to fill the room along with your moans and his grunts.
"To think I've been missing out on this for what? A year now?" He says between pants, hitting the spot with each and every stroke.
"You should've just taken me in the hallway, the elevator..anywhere..I wouldn't have minded.."you respond, not caring at how fucked out you sound, digging your nails into his skin.
"Trust me, I've thought about it a million times, baby." He moans, his grip on your thigh so hard you know it'll bruise, âthought about it this morning..â he admits against your open mouth, finishing with a sloppy kiss.
"Sit up" You breathlessly demand after a few more moments, knowing you wonât last much longer.
"Yes ma'am" He smiles sitting up, and switching spots with you so that his back lies against the back of your headboard.
You slowly lower yourself onto him, placing one hand over his that's placed on your ass, and placing your other at the back of his neck.
"Fuck baby..you take my cock so well.." he groans, glancing downward watching as you grind onto him.
"Feels so good.." You moan, gripping the back of his neck a bit harder as your eyes squeeze shut from the pleasure as you begin to bounce up and down on his cock.
"Shit," he pants, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer to him, "if you keep that up, you gonna make me cum.." He says through half lidded eyes, the mixture of your moans, profanities and his name drawing him closer to his release.
"I'm sorry, but I-I don't think I'm gonna make it much longer Josh.." You speak between moans, your hands holding onto him tightly.
"It's okay, I'm not gonna last much longer either, mama.." he says into your ear with a low groan, the sensation of his lips against your skin being the final straw, â..you feel sâfuckin good..â
"I'm-I'm coming..fuck!" You cry out, but your lips are soon met with Josh's as he tries to suppress your moans with his kisses, which in turn sends him into his own orgasm.
"Fuuuuuuck!" He growls against your lips, thrusting upwards into you, his high taking over.
You let your head fall onto his shoulder, trying to catch your breath against his heaving chest. His hands release their grip on you once heâs out of his trance, finding their way to the back of your arms, softly rubbing them.
Finally gathering the energy, you sit up, your eyes meeting his, and a smile plastered across his face.
He brings a hand up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear before saying, "and that's how you should be treated."
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update on the sammy one shot. iâve been working on it. good things take time. and iâve been going through things that have delayed when i wanted it done originally. but i canât wait for it to be finished for you all to read.đ¤
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