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five word prompts
[inspired by this]
“actually… i just miss you.”
“alright, i’ll leave you alone.”
“and slowly… i was forgotten.”
“and then everything just disappears.”
“and where do i go?”
“anyone could tell from here.”
“are you finishing that or…?”
“are you stupid or stupid?”
“anything, just call me, okay?”
“bitch better have my money.”
“bro… that’s so… not cool…”
“but did you do it?”
“call me now. it’s urgent.”
“can’t you listen to me?”
“cross that. don’t answer that.”
“don’t even think about it.”
“don’t you dare walk away.”
“do it. i dare you.”
“did you think i forgot?”
“eventually… you just move on.”
“even if you still do.”
“everything will fall into place.”
“fight me, you attractive stranger.”
“for once, i need you.”
“for once… i was right.”
“for once… i was wrong.”
“forget i even asked you.”
“forget it. you fucking suck.”
“fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”
“fuck off. i mean it.”
“give and take. that’s life.”
“great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”
“have you lost your mind?”
“hello? it’s me. i was-”
“hey… that wasn’t so nice.”
“here’s a glass of whatever.”
“how about a hug, hm?”
“how about you make me?”
“i haven’t forgot you yet.”
“i can’t be around you.”
“i don’t need you, really.”
“i don’t need this now.”
“is this your first time?”
“it’s just a cut, really.”
“it wasn’t me, i swear!”
“i said i love you.”
“just don’t fuck it up.”
“just… come back alive, okay?”
“just make sure you’ve eaten.”
“kick his ass for me.”
“killed him? wait, what, literally?”
“life really sucks. feel better.”
“letting go hurts… a lot.”
“let me live, will you?”
“no, i don’t need you.”
“nothing can hurt me now.”
“nothing matters anymore to me.”
“okay it was me… so?”
“people lie all the time.”
“pipe the fuck down, asshole.”
“please, you can’t die now.”
“please don’t leave me alone.”
“quiet. they can hear us.”
“quick! give me your phone!”
“quicker, you freaking piece of-”
“quit it or i’ll bite.”
“quit staring! they’ll notice us!”
“really? do i look stupid?”
“real smooth, tripping over air.”
“rise and shine, sweet thing.”
“rise and fucking shine, motherfucker.”
“seriously? give me a break.”
“so… what are we now?”
“so… did you miss me?”
“so… can we go eat?”
“so… when’s the next flight?”
“so… how did everything go?”
“sometimes, i wish you died.”
“so what? you did it.”
“time passes slower without you.”
“then what do you suggest?”
“the fuck? who are you?”
“then you tell me why.”
“this is not working out.”
“this isn’t what i wanted.”
“this is all a fucking disaster.”
“when did it all happen?”
“who knew you’d be here?”
“why do i even bother?”
“why do i love you?”
“why didn’t you tell me?”
“you’re just… so, so stupid.”
“you can’t be here now.”
“you look like an accident.”
“you really need to go.”
“you know who to call.”
“zero fucks given. next please.”
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( * &. – TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE SENTENCE STARTERS .
* taken from the 2018 movie to all the boys i’ve loved before, based on the series by jenny han. you can also find the book starters here. as always, feel free to change pronouns !
‘ a lot of girls would be pretty weirded out by their boyfriend sleeping in someone else’s room, but you’re so trusting. ’
‘ am i just a joke to you? ’
‘ are you crazy? who’s gonna believe we’re in a relationship if i’m not allowed to kiss you? ’
‘ are you keeping tabs on me? ’
‘ are you kidding me? this is the reason why you broke up with me? ’
‘ are you trying to reject me right now? ’
‘ because i’m in love with you. only you. ’
‘ before your murder our sister, could i just ask you a question? ’
‘ being with you was so easy that sometimes i let myself pretend it wasn’t fake. ’
‘ but over time, that feeling just faded away and i missed my best friend. and it wasn’t love. ’
‘ can we talk about this? let me drive you home and i’ll explain everything to you. ’
‘ can you maybe just admit that some part of you doesn’t want everything in your life to be a fantasy? ’
‘ can you turn around? please? ’
‘ come on, talk to me. what happened to no secrets? ’
‘ do you think you might change your mind? ’
‘ duh, first rule of fight club. ’
‘ finally, everyone is gonna see you for who you really are. ’
‘ for someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes. ’
‘ for someone who’s quiet all the time, you sure have a lot of opinions. ’
‘ he is not as confident as he pretends to be. i am not as though as i pretend to be. and you, you are not as innocent as you pretend to be. ’
‘ he looks at you like you’re a sexy little rubik’s cube. he can’t figure you out, but he’s having fun trying. ’
‘ her face is gonna be in the wrong place! ’
‘ her logic was off, but her heart was in the right place. ’
‘ how did i let this happen? i’m so stupid. ’
‘ how do you tell your fake boyfriend you can’t go with him because you’re starting to have real feelings? you can’t. ’
‘ i am way better looking than that guy. ’
‘ i can count on you to be honest, always. ’
‘ i can’t believe i inadvertently dabbled in porn before i lost my virginity, but it’s been a strange year all around. ’
‘ i can’t believe i let you convince me to go on a trip that requires getting up before 7:00 am. ’
‘ i could never hate you. ’
‘ i don’t know how to be friends with you like this. ’
‘ i don’t know what to tell you. that sucks. i’m sorry. ’
‘ i don’t understand why you didn’t tell me all this was happening in the first place. ’
‘ i heard my cousin dumped you for a college student, that true? ’
‘ i heard you have a tail. is that true? ’
‘ i just know that he likes you. i can tell by the way he looks at you. ’
‘ i just wanna be super clear: i’m flattered, i am, but… ’
‘ i just wanna finish this chapter. ’
‘ i know you love me. ’
‘ i know you’re only being nice to me because i accidentally made a sex tape and you feel bad. ’
‘ i like your hair down. you look pretty. ’
‘ i love how you’re not afraid of her. ’
‘ i need you to know that i like you. ’
‘ i need you to know that i like you. and not in a fake way. ’
‘ i think it’s funny, you say you’re scared of commitment and relationships, but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me. ’
‘ i thought you were gonna hate me. ’
‘ i wrote five love letters so don’t go feeling too special. ’
‘ if i hear anyone talking about you or that video, i’m gonna kick all of their asses. ’
‘ if it was real and he still doesn’t want me… then at least i’ll know. ’
‘ if it wasn’t real then i didn’t lose anyone. ’
‘ if you ask, it ruins the whole vibe. be cool. ’
‘ if you miss him, why don’t you just tell him? ’
‘ if you need me i’ll be in the nurses office, with a migraine, googling justin trudeau shirtless. ’
‘ if you really, truly didn’t want those letters to be sent, then why did you address them? ’
‘ if you’re gonna have sex in a public place, you’ve gotta deal with the consequences. ’
‘ is it so unbelievable that someone could like me? ’
‘ it was fated, that we should meet like this. ’
‘ it was spin the bottle, you psycho! and it was tongueless! ’
‘ it’s a cool trick, right? you wanna see me do it again? ’
‘ it’s bad enough if a guy were to do this, but a girl? that’s despicable. ’
‘ it’s been a strange year all around. ’
‘ it’s cold outside. i don’t do cold. ’
‘ i’d say if anyone stupidly fell for someone who doesn’t like them back, it’s not you. ’
‘ i’m gonna kill you. ’
‘ i’m just here to take down one of those chocolate shakes. ’
‘ i’m just so tired of writing love letters. it’d be nice to receive them. ’
‘ i’m more real to you than he is. ’
‘ i’m not trying to date you. ’
‘ i’m officially back to being invisible. ’
‘ i’m onto a nickname for you: largie, it’s funny because you’re so small! ’
‘ i’m sorry i didn’t sit next to you. ’
‘ i’m tired of being second best or fake best. ’
‘ last night was a mistake. ’
‘ like i said, i didn’t do it. ’
‘ look, i am really sorry. about everything. ’
‘ look, i just wanna say that i really– i appreciate it, but it’s never gonna happen. ’
‘ no one’s ever liked me like that. ’
‘ no, this is a fight i have to handle myself. ’
‘ no, you’re not just a joke to you, you just don’t understand the situation. ’
‘ oh… it’s you. ’
‘ screw you, you know my feet are always cold. ’
‘ she just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet, i think she’s just in withdrawal. ’
‘ she’s gorgeous, but you have way better style. ’
‘ since you’ve been together, i’ve never seen you so happy. ’
‘ sleep where you want, sluts. ’
‘ so here’s the thing, i don’t actually like you. i just had to make it look like i liked you so someone else wouldn’t think i liked them. ’
‘ so love and dating? i love to read about it and it’s fun to write about and to think about in my head, but when it’s real… yeah, it’s scary. ’
‘ so, what, now you’re ignoring me? ’
‘ still think you haven’t gotten a love letter? ’
‘ stop. don’t finish that sentence. ’
‘ the more people that you let into your life, the more they can just walk right now. ’
‘ the reason i went to her room that night was to tell her that it’s over because… i’m in love with you. ’
‘ then again, he’s a jock and they’re slow learners. ’
‘ there’s no one like you. ’
‘ this is all your fault! i hate everyone! ’
‘ those shoes weren’t just cool, i thought they were kind of hot. ’
‘ um, hi… personal space, much? ’
‘ we are still together. you’re just trying to pull out because you’re scared. ’
‘ we can never tell anyone that this relationship is fake because it would be too humiliating for both of us. ’
‘ we need to have a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules. ’
‘ we’re still cool, right? ’
‘ …we’re still talking about her? ’
‘ what do i have to do to get you to bring me one of these tomorrow? ’
‘ what do you put in a contract for a real relationship? ’
‘ what if we let people think we were actually together? just for a little while. ’
‘ why didn’t you just tell me that? i feel like i would’ve understood. ’
‘ you are such a snob! ’
‘ you can be mad at someone and still miss them. ’
‘ you can’t just sit up in your room writing love letters that you’re never gonna send out. ’
‘ you didn’t even say it wasn’t true? you just let everyone think we had sex in the hot tub when you know we didn’t? ’
‘ you didn’t tell anyone about last night, did you? ’
‘ you gonna break my heart? ’
‘ you got rules? come on, you really know how to zap the fun out of a situation. ’
‘ you gotta trust. ’
‘ you have this whole judgy face scenario going on. ’
‘ you kissed me first. ’
‘ you knew that i liked him and you kissed him anyway! ’
‘ you know i’m gay, right? ’
‘ you know people usually check behind them before they reverse to, you know, avoid killing others. ’
‘ you know what? if you want me to read that then you have to give that to me. ’
‘ you look good. you always look good. ’
‘ you look pretty. i’ll prove it to you. ’
‘ you owe me braid crowns for the rest of your life. ’
‘ you should never go to college with a boyfriend. ’
‘ you were never second best. ’
‘ your filthy little secret’s safe with me. ’
‘ your mouth is saying something, but your mouth said something completely different. ’
‘ you’re like a sweet, innocent girl and he’s a complete dick. i don’t get it! ’
‘ you’re officially pg-13 again. ’
‘ you’re still in love with this bon iver wannabe? ’
‘ you’ve gotta tell people how you feel when you feel it. ’
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Drinking starters
as requested by @ambitionbled (it won’t let me tag you, sorry!)
CONCERN.
❝How much have you had to drink?❞
❝You could have fucking alcohol poisoning!❞
❝Easy, there. Try to sit up.❞
❝I think I might’ve overdone it on the alcohol…❞
❝We’ve got to go get your stomach pumped.❞
❝I thought you said you were clean!❞
❝Yes, it is a big deal.❞
❝Let me drive you home.❞
❝You are NOT driving like this!❞
❝You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.❞
❝Drinking until you puke is not normal.❞
DRUNK.
❝Is this real life?❞
❝I want to go to sleep but I can’t find any sheep.❞
❝How do you show fish affection?❞
❝Taco Bell is open 24 hours, right?❞
❝Tequila is not my friend? YOU’RE not my friend.❞
❝Drunk I am not.❞
-glasses on head- ❝Where did I put my glasses?❞
❝How do I tell my parents I’m a mermaid?❞
❝I’m not even tired.❞
❝I should call my ex.❞
❝I’m not drunk enough for this.❞
❝Does playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?❞
-hugging the floor- ❝I’m trying to stop the floor from spinning.❞
❝Can we go out for fried chicken?❞
ANGST.
❝What’s the fucking point anymore?❞
❝Screw recovery. I want a drink.❞
❝I’m too sober for this shit.❞
❝I don’t give a shit what you think.❞
❝I seriously don’t feel too good.❞
❝I didn’t even have that much to drink.❞
❝Will you stop fucking interrogating me?❞
❝I can drive. I’m fine.❞
❝There’s a reason I drink so much.❞
❝You’re the reason I drink so much.❞
❝I’m only happy when I’m drunk.❞
FLUFF/FUN.
❝You’re cute, you know that?❞
❝You wanna get wasted?❞
❝I’m bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?❞
❝What are you drinking, and why aren’t you sharing?❞
❝I’m having a party for two.❞
❝You’re so hot.❞
❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞
❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞
*kisses on forehead*
*kisses on cheek*
*kisses on lips*
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adultsoflima:
y'all are gonna make me turn this into an adults of lima advice blog
hey you modern cool teens of course all of the adults are here to give you advice, just feel free to ask :)
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y'all are gonna make me turn this into an adults of lima advice blog
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miscellaneous angst starters.
when were you going to tell me?
you can’t keep doing this to yourself.
that’s…a lot of blood.
can you walk?
please don’t lie to me.
you were supposed to leave.
i’m not going anywhere without you.
shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.
there was nothing more you could have done.
it wasn’t your fault.
this is all my fault.
you aren’t acting like yourself.
i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.
you’re hurting me.
don’t ever do that again.
go to hell.
please don’t cry.
you have to stay awake.
i wish i could take the pain away.
you could have died.
hey – stay with me.
it’ll be over soon.
did you ever love me?
i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.
things won’t always hurt this bad.
you passed out.
how much have you had?
i’m okay. it’s all fine.
it’s not okay! you’re not fine!
let me get you something for the pain.
it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.
it’s clearly not nothing.
have you been to the doctor?
i didn’t mean the things i said.
i thought we meant something.
people who are okay don’t act like this.
you don’t have to go through this by yourself.
i don’t want you to be alone.
please don’t regret me.
i heard you crying.
you need to get some rest.
when was the last time you ate something?
i’m worried about you.
did you have another nightmare?
[name], there’s nobody there.
i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.
please talk to me.
why are you mad at me?
alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.
don’t leave me.
did you do this to yourself?
it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.
tell me what’s wrong.
tell me how to make it better.
why don’t you care?
get the hell away from me.
please don’t do this.
i can’t believe that you lied to me.
just…stay for the night.
you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.
you can’t die. i won’t let you.
just hang on, okay?
hold my hand if you need to.
i’m sorry.
why do you have a gun?
don’t panic.
just breathe.
you’re bleeding.
i’m trying to stop the bleeding.
you’ve been crying, i can tell.
you should have told me sooner.
i wanted to tell you in person.
a phone call would’ve been nice.
i hate you.
i love you.
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send ♢ for an aesthetic of our muses!
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a hundred random starters
below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)
❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞
❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞
❝ love is love is love is love. ❞
❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞
❝ why are you crying this time? ❞
❝ you will never escape. ❞
❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞
❝ everything has its consequences. ❞
❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞
❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞
❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞
❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞
❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞
❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞
❝ they died screaming. ❞
❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞
❝ how long have you known? ❞
❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞
❝ the law can be changed. ❞
❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞
❝ your child is adorable! ❞
❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞
❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞
❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞
❝ he adores you. ❞
❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞
❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞
❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞
❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞
❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞
❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞
❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞
❝ then kill me. ❞
❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞
❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞
❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞
❝ death is just another adventure. ❞
❝ stop! ❞
❝ let them watch. ❞
❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞
❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞
❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞
❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞
❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞
❝ you love him? ❞
❝ do you love me at all? ❞
❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞
❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞
❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞
❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞
❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞
❝ the king is displeased. ❞
❝ long live your majesty! ❞
❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞
❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞
❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞
❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞
❝ do you really think that? ❞
❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞
❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞
❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞
❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞
❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞
❝ are you a virgin? ❞
❝ I’m married. ❞
❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞
❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞
❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞
❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞
❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞
❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞
❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞
❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞
❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞
❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞
❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞
❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞
❝ are we going to die here? ❞
❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞
❝ I am no longer a child! ❞
❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞
❝ what if something happens to them? ❞
❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞
❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞
❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞
❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞
❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞
❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞
❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞
❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞
❝ this is my home. ❞
❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞
❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞
❝ fuck me. ❞
❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞
❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞
❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞
❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞
❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞
❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞
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did somebody say i should write russel fabray so y’all can fight him ?
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“The Office” Season 4/5 Sentence Starters
Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !
“That’s what I have to come home to.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“I sing in the shower.”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.”
“His name is Garbage.”
“I am pregnant.”
“I miss you.”
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.”
“Now I have a beard.”
“I’m so much better than you are.”
“I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.”
“I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate…and…food had no taste.”
“Running away from your problems won’t solve anything.”
“You are not creative.”
“I don’t need fresh air because I have the freshest air around: AC.”
“Can we talk off the record? As friends?”
“What do you want to do for dinner?”
“I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?”
“If I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.”
“They seem very happy. I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.”
“Did I stutter?”
“You’re so white.”
“Do it. Give me control.”
“I don’t understand why you keep picking on me.”
“You sound sexy.”
“I’ll kill you.”
“You’re not the dad.”
“You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?”
“I did not cheat on you.”
“Math is hard.”
“If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no government.”
“Someone let the air out of your tires.”
“She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me.”
“I’m not strong! I’ll go back to [her], and I hate [her]!”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Get a friend, loser!”
“Just tell me what happened.”
“Are you drunk?”
“We’ll discuss it later, naked.”
“I want to see you naked.”
“NO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!”
“Do you wanna do that? Do you wanna hit me? Do you wanna punch me?”
“Check out the ass.”
“My wishes never come true.”
“I need to talk to you in private.”
“Sometimes, I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”
“You don’t know how to take care of her! All you do is dress fancy and sing!”
“STAY CALM!”
“I’m going to die.”
“Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding.”
“She left me.”
“I quit.”
“You have no idea how high I can fly.”
“What am I gonna do?”
“I can’t do this. This is pathetic, isn’t it?”
“I am such an idiot.”
“I have egg in my crocs.”
“I feel weak today.”
“I think you should get dressed.”
“I’m not getting dressed.”
“Everyone deserves a second second chance.”
“When I look in the mirror, I don’t like the face that looks back.”
“I just won an art contest!”
“Son of a bitch!”
“You can go to hell.”
“Do you want me to beat him up for you?”
“We are soulmates.”
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ɪɴᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ﹣ᴍᴜsᴇ ʙʟᴏɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛs ɪɴ ɢʟᴇᴇ
ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ﹠ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ʙʏ ғᴏx
ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ
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like for a one liner ! specify who you want the starter from, & if you’re a multi-muse feel free to specify who it’s for if you want to.
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like for a one liner ! specify who you want the starter from, & if you’re a multi-muse feel free to specify who it’s for if you want to.
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine STARTER SENTENCES #1
If I’m ever going to make captain, I need a good mentor; I need my rabbi.
Meep morp zeep, robot captain engaged!
Thank you very much, sir. Testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately.
Here are two pictures. One is your locker; the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you guess which is which?
You also have more mice living in your desk than any other detective!
Well, he’s someone else’s problem now. Like you said, it’s out of your hands.
Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me.
God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.
So you were just borrowing those cars?
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! You win a teddy bear!
All right, fine, darling; I’ll ask him. Excuse me, sir!
No, I know we’re lost! I think he’s an idiot.
Idiot?! Do you know why we’re out here in the middle of the night, ___? I was gonna propose to you! On the Brooklyn Bridge, where we met.
You know what? This is over. Say goodbye to this ring and everything it represents
I’m sad y'all are arresting me, but I gotta say, I’m glad you’re back together.
We’ve busted murderers; we’ve taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer- the Fire Department.
I don’t have a lot of time. I need your full, signed confession. We have four minutes. We can do this.
Everyone, check your email. The greatest thing that could ever happen has just happened.
Who’s Kevin Cozner? Is he the star of Danzez With Wolvez?
Mm, it was kind of a last-minute invite. Just stirring the pot.
Aw, man. All the orange soda spilled out of my cereal.
Devastatingly handsome? I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable with emotions.
Nice cop lingo! Look, I’m really sorry that we ruined your party. I’d love to make it up to you.
You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying.
No, he did it doing something he’s embarrassed by. Like smiling. Only question is… how do you hurt your arm smiling?
Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Because no-one… will ever believe you.
Fine, abandon me! I don’t want you here anyway.
All right, I’ll just act like you. Say something so I can get the cadence of your voice down.
This looks like it was filled out by a toddler!
you just got slapped with the best life sentence there is: marriage.
You know how long I’ve been waiting for one of you old men to kiss me?
My ears are burning! Did someone say vasectomy? I got snipped; no big deal, just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year.
Look, you guys, if the Sarge wants to chop off his penis that is his choice.
I hate being friends with you!
I’ve examined his proposal; there’s no proof that giggle-pig is a serious problem.
Actually, I’m a little disappointed in the hotel. How you mess up a omelette? It’s just a flat egg!
Okay, don’t shoot! That’s how people get shot.
Every time you talk I hear that sound that plays when Pacman dies.
I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. I was fine until they went inside the hive.
“I’m with someone and nothing is going to happen.” Name of your sex tape!
Your head is so small. It is so small. Where do you keep your brains?
Good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?
I care about my friends. Now eat your carrots, or I’ll rip your tiny head off.
I’m still paying my uncle’s funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.
Wait, stop. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
You’re being super irresponsible. You have a batitude. That’s a bad attitude.
I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit.
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like for a one liner ! specify who you want the starter from, & if you’re a multi-muse feel free to specify who it’s for if you want to.
#i'm making icons as i go pretty much so like#replies will be slow#might be kind of selective because i get distracted easily lmao#i will make them when i get the muse ya know#gonna try to stay on top of it though
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