acidsimp
Dad’s Back With The Milk
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barbecue sauce on our collective titties
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i've seen some posts floating around about people being confused as to what classifies as robotfucking and to what degree so i decided to take a crack at it and made this chart inspired by the infamous furry chart
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Handmade "Pete The Logic Rock" doll for my friend @acidsimp's birthday back in March. >:3
I tried to be cute by giving him posable fingers using pipe cleaners, but they came out a little wonky. XP
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Ok idk who came up with making a "cleaningsona" but that hack works so damn well?? I absolutely cannot clean my room until I put on my most Victorian blouse, my fangs, start playing my funky little vampire playlist, and pretend I'm an 800 year old immortal who's bittersweet about packing up and moving to a new town with a new identity because locals are starting to catch on that I'm a vampire
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I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.
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i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work
has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?
introducing: beurre monté
you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil
turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)
you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan
done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.
if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.
you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.
you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut
your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum
go forth now with this butter secret
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me: i wish i could turn off certain mobs. i’d love to play more survival mode but the spiders really upset me :(
my dad, the most stoic person in existence, LEAPING out of his chair with great concern: I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH THIS PROBLEM. I WILL PROCEED TO SPEND THE NEXT MONTH SCOURING THE INTERNET FOR NICHE MODS OR CONSOLE COMMANDS IN HOPES I CAN BRING YOU AND THE ENTIRE MINECRAFT PLAYERBASE PEACE.
my dad, a week later, more distraught than i’ve ever seen: brittany it’s awful. i’ve been googling around for solutions to your spider problem and lots of little kids have asked for help on the same issue and people online were Mean to them. i cannot type fast enough to stop all of them. this is a crisis right now
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just a quick doodle while training for work
it sucks (Im aware)
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the thing about the "um excuse me if you're as poor as you say you are why don't you just sell all your most treasured possessions" thing that people love to trot out as some kind of "gotcha" is that they do not acknowledge how fucking soul-crushing it is to be in a situation that is already destroying your mental health and then be forced to sell one of the few things in your life that still bring you joy
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I promise you, relationship anarchy is a good thing. Tell your friends you love them. Go on dates. Domme them. Take them to weddings. Have a relationship with the sub from the dungeon where she does your taxes or you mow his lawn. Help your neighbor plant begonias and become their honorary granddaughter. Become friends with your partner’s partners. Cuddle with your book club and talk about Polysecure or something, idk.
I don’t care. Just stop expecting every relationship to follow a specific pattern and instead find the beauty you both want in your specific relationship with that other person.
Life is more than the nuclear family and strict pseudo-Christian mythological ideals.
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