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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[6:23pm] (blood, gore, open ending)

this isn’t the way you imagined you would go. you imagined someone would be holding you, like mark, or jaemin– you imagined that you wouldn’t be alone.

but as the blood dampens the black shirt you’re wearing, you’re quickly coming to the revelation that you’re dying, and you’re dying alone.

just yesterday, you had overheard jongin talking to sehun about how far you three were going to make it in the future, and today, you’re dying.

before you can help yourself, you find your fingers speed dialing jaemin, knowing that you couldn’t die without telling him goodbye and sorry for everything.

when he doesn’t pick up after the third ring (when it was you, he always picked up by the second), you’re about to lose it in your tears and blood.

“hey.” he picks up on the fourth ring, and you breathe a deep sigh of relief. he doesn’t seem to want to give you the time of day, so you’re just grateful he did.

“hi. i’m sorry.” you don’t know how you manage to say that coherently with your other hand trying its best to staunch the blood flow from your abdomen, and you don’t know why you don’t tell jaemin about the predicament you’re in.

you just want to tell him you’re sorry.

“it’s okay,” he mutters, “i’ll get over it.”

neither of you talk for a while.

“is everything okay?” jaemin finally asks, concern laced in his voice.

“yeah, everything’s fin– fuck.” you’re unable to stifle the cough that spills from your lips and fuck, fuck, fuck, it hurts more than anything and you feel the blood splatter from your lips and ooze from your wound.

“cut the bullshit and tell me where you are,” jaemin hisses. you hear the keys jingle, you hear him briefly excuse himself from the girl you know he’s with, and whether she’s a friend or something more escapes your mind at this point.

“jaemin, i’m sorry, okay? for everything.”

“stop apologizing. i’m not forgiving you if you die on me now. now tell me where you are.” his motorcycle engine revs up.

“you have to forgive me, jaems, i’m sorry,” you sob, each sob that wracks through your body only sending convulsions of pain through yoy.

“i forgive you for earlier, okay? but i’m never going to forgive you for dying. so tell me where you are, please,” he begs.

“i’m in the alley by the convenience store we always go to,” you say, quieter this time because you’re running out of energy.

“okay. keep talking to me. don’t hang up. don’t stop talking. what did you buy?”

“i bought ice cream. i wanted ice cream.”

“what flavor?”

“the usual. salted caramel.”

“you should try cookies and creme sometime. i keep telling you that. i’m almost there.”

“you’re not breaking laws, are you?”

jaemin laughs bittersweetly, trying to ignore how your voice dwindles with each word and how you stifle your coughs to keep from worrying him.

“i’d do everything for you.”

you hear the revving of a motorcycle, then you don’t. and then you see jaemin’s silhuoette, and into the phone, you say, “hi.”

and just as you see jaemin running towards you, as you see him shattering at the sight of you, you let your eyes close with one thought in your mind.

god, i love you.

— excerpts from fics i’ll never write

———————————————

author’s note: this is actually from gasoline hearts and literally i have every plot point planned but i have no motivation nor skill to execute it so hi

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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[12:01am]

it’s midnight when chan spares a last glance at his members, who are all fast asleep on futons on the living room floor of his parents’ home. he’s already running late because changbin and jisung took forever to go to sleep, so he’s hasty at this point. he quietly shuts the door behind him, grabbing the keys from the depths of his pocket as he had placed them earlier.

it’s been a while since he’s driven on the australian streets, but he knows the way to his destination like the back of his hand. how could he not, after all the nights that he had run off to it in his brief stays in sydney between training?

he parks into the guest parking slots before exiting, wrapping his coat tightly around himself before heading into the building. he takes the elevator up to the seventh floor and takes the first right turn before knocking at 312.

“coming!” a voice says, groggy and laced with sleep and tire. he smiles at it, excitement welling up in his heart even moreso than when changbin and jisung finally fell sleep.

“you’re aware it’s midni– chris?”

you stop mid-sentence as you finally meet the eyes of the man you love, the man you’ve always waited for for the past nine years and will wait for for another nine.

“hi,” is all he can say before you barrel your sleep-ridden self into his arms, and all that’s heard after is the medley of two lovers laughing.

– excerpts from fics i’ll never write

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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[2:17am]

“he’s ruining you,” donghyuck says as he runs his fingers through your hair, “again.”

it’s 2am and you lay cradled against your best friend’s chest, clinging onto him like a lifeline as you come down from your emotions. as you come down from what jaemin left you just three hours ago, or more aptly, the wounds he reopened from three years ago.

“i know,” you murmur, turning your face into donghyuck’s chest. your voice comes out muffled as you continue to speak. “i know he is, and i know he’ll keep doing it.”

donghyuck sighs, a bitter smile on his face.

“and you’re going to let him, aren’t you?”

the silence with which you respond to him weighs heavy on his shoulders. he contemplates his next words, frustration welling up inside him as he sees you in this state for the nth time.

“there are only so many times that i can pick up the broken pieces that he always leaves,” donghyuck sneers, the hostility in his words startling you in your already shocked state. immediately, he regrets the words that leave his lips, regrets the choice he’s made tonight, but it’s too late. what he said rings true anyway.

you look up, confused and shell-shocked by the sudden loss of warmth that your best friend had radiated against you just seconds ago.

“what do you mean?” you whisper, heart breaking a second time for that night even though you don’t know what’s going on right now.

“i mean i can’t help you if you can’t help yourself, y/n. at one point, you have to leave him behind. or i’m going to have to leave you behind.”

then he leaves, and without even the slightest lapse of time, your body is wracked with sobs again, alone this time.

donghyuck sighs as he stands in front of your door, back sliding down the splintered wood as he curls into a ball. he clutches onto his shirt that’s damp with your tears, chest tightening as he tries to stop his own tears from mixing with yours.

what he had meant is that there were only so many times he could pick up your broken pieces without breaking himself.

if only you would realize that, but… love is cruel to the both of you.

— excerpts from fics i’ll never write

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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[10:08pm]

mark has only ever always been a distant dream for you. you would never make a move on him because he was too out of your league and he would never bat an eyelash at you as something more than a friend. he was smart, beautiful, even more beautiful when he smiled, and loving. so why?

why did it hurt you to see him with your upperclassman at your formal?

your best friend tells you that you can’t control things, but you can control how you act.

and you are controlling how you act, but you’re not sure you can control what you feel when you’re seven shots in and in love with a boy that will never love you back.

(if only).

– excerpts from fics i’ll never write

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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[9:42pm]

“can i come over?” you ask softly, phone pressed loosely against your cheek as soon as the ringing stops.

“right now?” felix asks, clearly taken aback by the sudden nature of your request. he saves himself quickly. “well, you know i’m never against seeing you.”

“yeah, can i? it’s just…” you drift off, curving away from the explanation you were originally going to give him. there’s silence on the phone for a while as felix guages the situation and you sit silently, waiting for his response.

“… stay at your dorm. i’ll come over. it’s dark out.”

and that’s how felix finds himself excusing himself from playing smash with hyunjin, jisung, and seungmin, exiting his dorm building to travel across campus to yours.

it takes him around eleven minutes to get to your building, and another minute to find himself at your door.

you lived alone in a super single– your roommate had dropped out in the beginning of second semester and no one else ever moved in. it was convenient at times, lonely at others.

the door swings open slowly as you welcome felix in, and then he watches you make space on your bed by shutting your laptop and moving it to your desk.

you lay in bed, motioning for felix to join you and silent in all your actions.

(you think you’ll cry if you open your mouth at this point).

he takes off his shoes before joining you, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other gently nudging your head into his chest.

after watching your every move and analyzing the situation, he has an inkling on what brought this about.

“are you stressed about the leadership position you’re running for?” he asks, soothingly combing his fingers through your hair to negate the slightly stressful question he just proposed to you.

felix isn’t the smartest, most observant boy. but that changes when it comes to you. he notices the smallest mannerisms, knows immediately how to pinpoint how you feel and why you feel that way after spending his whole life with you.

“yes.” you bury your face further into his chest. “i’m on my fifth round of editing my speech, but every time i ask one of the upperclassmen to read it, it seems as if there are only more edits for me to make. this position seems so far away from me,” you sniffle, clutching onto him and his shirt like a lifeline. you’ve barely even begun to talk, but you’re already feeling your chest tighten. you want this position. you want it, you want it, you’ve wanted it since the end of first semester.

everyone knows that. felix, especially.

“hey, hey. listen. baby, you’re doing your best and everyone has full faith in you, okay? i can’t promise you that you’ll get it, but i can promise you that i and every person that supports you will stay supporting you no matter what happens. everything will turn out as it should be– that, i can promise you.”

you can’t bring yourself to cry– it’s a weird feeling. you thought you’d be in waterworks by now, but the calm, low baritone of your lover’s voice and the small circles he rubs on your back gradually helps to loosen the tight feeling in your chest.

“you’re doing amazing, okay? and you’ll be alright.”

— excerpts from fics i’ll never write

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7aiguanlin · 5 years

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[11:41pm]

you’re barely breathing as you wait for woojin to pass you by, which is considerably hard when you had been sobbing just seconds before. you hear his laughter as he talks on the phone, just one fence dividing you both.

it’s nearly midnight, and you’ve been crying on the soccer field for ten minutes. you know that you’ll be crying for another hour at least– you don’t know how to cope with all the emotions in your chest but to cry. and you wanted to be alone, you wanted to be outside, away from your stuffy dorm where your two roommates were sleeping.

apparently the divine being above didn’t want that.

you breathe slowly, lightly, struggling to remain quiet as you watch the entrance to the field from your peripheral vision to wait for woojin to pass by it. to pray that woojin would pass by it. once he passes by it, you’re safe to cry alone again.

except then it gets quiet. you don’t hear woojin’s laughter, and he doesn’t seem to be on the phone with anyone anymore.

you wait– maybe he’s just walking real slow. you hope he’s walking real slow.

but then, to your horror as you look towards the entrance waiting for him to pass by, you instead see his head peek in.

and your first instinct is to cry.

“woojin, no,” you whine, already unable to stop yourself from bursting into tears again. woojin’s face of curiosity– the one that had been wondering what you were doing on the soccer field near midnight– suddenly turns into one of soft tenderness. “you weren’t supposed to come in.”

“come here,” he says, walking towards you with open arms. you stay where you are until he meets you there, wrapping his arms around you and gently resting his head on yours. you’re too sad to even push him away, and despite you telling him that he shouldn’t have entered the field, that he should have left you alone, you wrap your arms around him and press your cheek against his chest.

his shirt is plain white and you’re sure that there’ll be patches of concealer and streaks of mascara on it after.

“i’m proud of you,” he says, one hand rubbing up and down your back and the other laid gently on your head. “you did amazing no matter what.”

“this is ugly,” you reply, your actions of tightening your hold on him and further burying your face in his chest contradicting your words.

woojin chuckles, “it’s dark anyway, i can’t see you crying.”

“that’s a lie,” you retort immediately through your tears, fully aware that there were dim lampposts lighting the soccer field through the darkness. he laughs immediately.

“why did you even try to hide?”

“because i didn’t want you to come in! you weren’t supposed to see me fall apart like this,” you whine, finally pulling away from him to turn your back to him. you face the fence now, uselessly wiping at the tears that keep falling.

“but i saw you, of course i would come in?” he says, questioning your thought process. “i saw you in here and i never saw you come out, so of course i knew you were in here. i wasn’t going to leave you.”

“well, i was banking on you not having seen me in the first place,” you respond bitterly. you turn around, facing him again with your arms crossed. you really hadn’t wanted him to see you fall apart like this.

yet woojin had found you and was comforting you, a grown eighteen year old, at midnight in the middle of a soccer field instead of doing what he needed to do.

“and you. you have homework. what are you doing here dealing with me? you should have just left and done your homework,” you scold, even though the tears and hiccups and sobs between every few words prevent woojin from taking you seriously.

“it’s okay,” he laughs, pulling you in again and nuzzling your head. “you’re like my little sibling. you’re more important.”

there’s silence for a while, with only your sniffles filling the air.

“just know, i’ll always find you whenever you need me. even if you try to hide,” he murmurs into your hair, still cradling you. “now, how about i walk you back to your building?”

and so woojin takes your hand, not letting go of you until he leaves you at your door with a soft kiss on your forehead.

“i’ll always be proud of you. and i’ll always be here for you.”

that’s a promise from the big brother you never had.

– excerpts from fics i’ll never write

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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⠀⠀⇢ young blood – jaemin x reader sns!au two years ago, all jaemin needed was you, his car, and ten dollars, and then things changed, until you two meet again. ⠀⠀⠀⠀preview – one – two

you’re just about to head back to donghyuck with the two drinks you had mixed for the both of you when one boy comes in being dragged by another.

“i told you i’d come to the party, but i also told you that i wouldn’t drink, jaemin,” an exasperated voice says. at the sound of the all-too-familiar name from a familiar voice, your blood freezes, mind automatically going into a full panic mode. there was no way.

you don’t want to look up as you keep your eyes anywhere from their faces, but your peripheral vision has already confirmed the worst case scenario as you try to get out of the kitchen without the two noticing you.

and you do manage to brush by past them, because jaemin immediately makes his way to the drinks and renjun keeps his attention on jaemin. until you hear the devil himself ask you where the rum is. he has to be talking to you– you can clearly hear his voice directed towards you above the loud boom of the bass.

“i used vodka, sorry,” you reply bluntly and hastily, which is a total lie. donghyuck loved bitters and rums in his drinks, and you had heavily used the rum in the cup you were holding in your left hand.

you refuse to show your face as you reply, but you don’t know that your voice– even after two years– is engraved in na jaemin’s memory. you’re barely out when you hear him call out your name hesitantly.

you want to ignore it, you want to, but you don’t. you bite your lip and then turn around, so slowly that the drinks in your hands don’t even dare slosh in their containers.

“hi.”

a smile appears on his face, almost the same one that you had fallen in love with two years ago but not quite, and just with that, you feel all the progress you’ve made in the last year and a half crumbling down. his eyes are different now, you note, with a certain haze to them. they’re not as bright as they used to be, and you figure it has to be alcohol and drugs. on some days, you don the same haze in your eyes.

“i see you decided on snu,” he remarks, not making a move towards you and staying at a safe distance.

“i see you did too,” you reply, a forced smile on your features. years ago when he had asked you what you wanted to do, you had told him you wanted to study in america, told him you wanted to study medicine there. he saw right through you, immediately pointing out how much you hated anything science related if it wasn’t biology. you had pouted back then at how easy it was for him, but you were thankful that he had persuaded you and your parents out of your parents’ dream for you. instead you’re here, and he is too.

jaemin seems to notice the tensity of the situation when his eyes scan your face, and his own smile seems to fall, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to find something to say.

he never finds the words.

“hey babe,” a third party greets (renjun is silently watching) as he throws an arm around your shoulder, “got our drinks?”

it’s donghyuck, and even just a little bit, you can let your shoulders relax. you turn towards him, nodding and offering his drink consisting of bitters and rums whereas yours consisted of fruity vodkas.

he turns to jaemin, arm still hanging comfortably around you. “didn’t think i’d see you here.”

you know what he’s trying to do, and for a split second, you swear you see something unrecognizable flash across jaemin’s eyes. it passes by so quickly that it’s easy to convince yourself that you had imagined it.

“yeah… you two are together now?” jaemin hesitantly asks, and you know donghyuck’s plan had worked. the boy next to you plants an audible kiss on your cheek.

“yeah, just at the end of senior year.” donghyuck lies through his teeth so easily that it almost scares you, but you stay silently beside him, just as renjun does by jaemin.

jaemin nods understandingly, “not too surprised it happened.” the smile on his face appears bright and supportive, but you know back then how insecure he got about your friendship with donghyuck. after all, the boy isn’t your ride or die for nothing.

“we’ll get going then,” the boy opposite you says, walking out of the makeshift bar without so much as glancing back at renjun who quickly follows after him.

you notice one thing: he never made his and renjun’s drinks that he came for. and you’ve never seen na jaemin pass up a drink.

#uhhh #check out my new au #self promo

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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7aiguanlin ⇢ jaeminfilm

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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I hope you can continue that Guanlin sns!au tho :((

i probably won’t, at least not for now since i do need to plan it through better before i continue it :( i am planning new sns!aus that will be posted on my new blog, jaeminfilm once i decide which one to post though!

#the only ask i'm answering for clarification #otherwise i'll be on jaeminfilm permanently now

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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7aiguanlin ⇢ jaeminfilm

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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please also redirect any asks you have from this blog to my new blog as i am no longer active here! thank you!

7aiguanlin ⇢ jaeminfilm

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7aiguanlin · 6 years

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𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘵 ; 𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘰.

genre: angst style: oneshot warnings: mentions of depression

summary: you’re not the same girl who fell in love with him but you are the girl he fell in love with.

–––––

the first thought lee jeno has when he steps onto american soil is your name. which is weird, because you two had broken up a long time ago. he’d even dated a couple of people after you, but here he is, stepping onto american soil with your name being the only thing on his mind.

he can’t shake this feeling, this feeling that had something to do with you, even though he has no idea what the feeling is.

maybe it’s the fact that he had always thought that when he’d come to america, he’d be coming home to you after all the calls you had spent talking about meeting. except he has no reason to come to america looking for you, and he hasn’t had one for a year now. yet here he is, under the same expanse of sky as you, somehow hoping that he had a shot at seeing you again.

all in all, the way you two had met hadn’t been the most conventional. in fact, your relationship wasn’t conventional and that’s why it had been a secret between you two and a select few, because not many people would’ve encouraged a long distance relationship between two sixteen year olds where the chances of meeting each other and lasting just wasn’t likely.

(and in your case, it really hadn’t been).

it had been a year into the relationship when you had begun to want something more– something real, palpable, something you could touch, and when you were crying at midnight heavily considering a relapse, jeno’s texts to you while he was in class weren’t it. it wasn’t your fault, nor was it his, but at the time it had been irreconcilable. with priorities naturally falling into place at the time, you couldn’t be his first.

and so you two realized that it wouldn’t work. at least you had realized it when jeno had told you your expectations of him were too high, and he had begun to distance himself from you. what he hadn’t told you was that he had been too afraid, afraid that he would never amount to what you wanted, to what you needed and deserved. you were both only seventeen after all, and an ocean away from each other.

so jeno started to leave in the moments where you needed and wanted him most, even if it were his measly snuck-in texts in his four pm classes and him calling you when it was already too late.

you would’ve taken it. but then he left completely.

–––––

the first thing jeno does the day after unpacking all of his stuff is go to the mall. he needs clothes suited for the heat of southern california rather than the snow of south korea, so he goes with his older siblings even if he finds himself separated from them after a while.

he might as well enjoy himself, he figures when he looks around to see his siblings nowhere to be found. his eye catches sight of a smoothie stand, and he licks his lip as he nears the cashier.

“what can i get for you, sir?”

“berry antioxidant smoothie, please.”

it’s automatic, the way he orders the smoothie that he remembers you love, because it makes you feel fake healthy even when it’s loaded with sugar.

he prefers more chocolatey smoothies, but when he takes a sip of your smoothie, he gets why you had loved it so much. maybe he’ll start loving it too.

–––––

he’s debating between getting the yellow sweatshirt and the black sweatshirt when he pulls out his phone, scrolling through his contacts for the familiar contact of your name to ask you which one he should get when he realizes that that’s not possible.

you two had been broken up for a year.

he thinks the californian air is getting to him, that breathing the same air as you is getting to him. he keeps thinking about you, your name like bile in his chest and he’s on edge, even if he doesn’t know if you’re still even in the city. you should be in college by now, and your dream had always been london.

so he concludes that you’re in london by now, quietly tucking away his phone and picking the yellow sweatshirt over the black sweatshirt, just because you would’ve picked the black one.

he left you a year ago, and he doesn’t have the right to mourn that. he doesn’t have the obligation to follow what you want, because he had broken your heart. not the other way around.

he tosses his half-finished smoothie into the trash can as he leaves the store with the plastic bag in hand.

no matter where you were, this city would always remind him of you, and no matter where he was, he would always find the time to think about you.

(he doesn’t realize that he had broken his own heart when he left you).

it’s jeno’s first day of classes at the local university. the campus is huge, and he’s not used to it, nor is he comfortable with it as he struggles to navigate the area. his siblings, rather than attending university, are already job hunting (and illegally driving alone with their learner’s permits), so he’s in uncharted territory alone.

the campus is beautiful, he has to admit– overseeing the distant southern californian beach and a valley of trees that was well-maintained for a desert area. flowers had been planted along the walkways, and there were fountains and statues marking every few buildings in a manner that made it a little bit harder to get lost.

the school itself is big enough to have its own maps app, and he watches his phone closely as he tracks the moving dot that denotes his position that’s (hopefully) nearing his destination until he collides with another person.

“sorry about that–” jeno begins, looking up to see a male around his age– korean too, he can tell– who holds a purple smoothie and a coffee cup up high because his two drinks almost spilled from the collision.

“it’s cool, don’t worry about it. at least the smoothie didn’t spill or else my girlfriend would be really mad,” he laughs, “i’m jaemin, by the way. you new here too?”

jeno blinks, before clearing his throat and smiling. “yeah, name’s jeno.”

“so, jeno, where are you headed? i could help you, i’ve been around here for a while even for a new student.”

“uh, chemistry with–”

“burner? i’m on my way there to drop off my girlfriend’s smoothie, i’ll walk with you!” jaemin cheerily offers, already taking the left turn jeno was just taking when they bumped into each other.

jaemin’s easy to get along with, jeno quickly realizes and comes to appreciate. he doesn’t question the broken english of the platinum blonde haired boy, instead automatically slipping into a conversation in their native language. he finds out that jaemin’s on the soccer team and that he’s a commit– whatever that means, because it definitely isn’t a thing in korea– but majors in biochem. the mention of the subjects makes jeno’s nose scrunch. it makes jaemin laugh– he understands.

“my girlfriend hates chemistry too, but somehow, it’s how we met in high school,” jaemin chimes when he notices the sourness on jeno’s facial expression. the sourness on jeno’s face morphs into an almost nostalgic simper as he arrives at a door with jaemin. you had hated chemistry too.

“this is the chemistry lab, by the way.”

the slightly shorter boy nods as he follows the other in, and jaemin immediately makes a beeline towards a girl with long black hair and blonde highlights on the bottom half.

“hey babe,” jeno makes out just as jaemin swoops in for a kiss and places the smoothie in front of her. then he waves the other over.

an awkward smile making its way onto his lips, he goes to stand beside the cheerful boy, whose girlfriend turns to look at the boy her boyfriend beckoned over. she has her zodiac sign tattooed right below her ear, he notices.

immediately, the polite smile that she dons falters from her lips, replaced with a more forced and awkward one, and she sets the smoothie down, hand moving to clasp onto jaemin’s hand that lays on her shoulder. the latter doesn’t notice, because his eyes are on jeno as he introduces them.

but they know each other already.

there’s a brief silence between the two of them, jaemin’s eyes shifting between them in confusion until jeno breaks the silence, his heart already aching by the way her mouth opens and then closes because she can’t find the words to say.

“i guess london didn’t work out, huh?” jeno says, with a bittersweet smile as he lets the fact that his first love is happy with another boy who buys her smoothies just like he promised he would one day and helps her with chemistry like he never could sink in.

“no, it didn’t. but i guess you really did find your way here eventually,” she replies, a look in her eye that jeno can’t quite pinpoint. he swallows thickly, as if he’s swallowing all his emotions, all the weight in the world.

“yeah, i did. a little too late, though.”

she can only force a polite smile at jeno for that one, and he figures he deserved that.

–––––

the thing about first loves is that they never leave. you can date a million people, you can find your soulmate, or you can find your true love, but they’ll never be the first love. they’ll never be the person who taught you what it was like to love, what it was like to hurt, and they’ll never replace the person who owns that little locked space in your heart.

you didn’t realize that until your first love was right in your face in a way you never thought he would be, but jeno had realized that with the first girl he had dated after you. he had this fear that he’d never love her as much as he loved you, and the fear had been right. he didn’t, so she had left him.

but standing in front of you right now, jeno realized that you loved jaemin just as you had loved him, if not more. it was in the way that even after you had shared a polite conversation with him full of memories of the distant past, you looked back at jaemin with a reassuring look in your eyes as you rubbed circles with your thumb into the ligatures of his hands. it was in the way you offered to walk with him to his class all the way across campus even though you seemed to already know he’d say no, and in the way that when jaemin left, your kiss on his lips lingered a little longer than the kiss hello. it was in the way you slapped jaemin’s shoulder when he told you to text him if there was anything you didn’t understand in the class, pouting as you claimed it was only the first day and that he needed to focus on his own class.

it was in the way you looked at jeno, with a look in your eyes that was unfamiliar to him because he had grown used to you looking at him with nothing but adoration and love.

it wasn’t the same look he was used to.

he had left you, so you had let him go.

you were no longer the girl who fell in love with him, but you were still the girl that held a special place in his heart. you were still the girl he had loved, and he wishes more than anything that he could love you again. he thinks he’d be ready this time.

but now, he can only hope he holds a special place in your heart, too. because he thinks that you are his true love, but who knows, because he’s eighteen and he probably doesn’t know much better than he did when he was sixteen and fell in love with you.

–––––

from: princess 🌹💕 what smoothie should i get

to: princess 🌹💕 your favorite berry one, duh buy me one too

from: princess 🌹💕 okay, fly over then

to: princess 🌹💕 bet one day

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to: princess 🌹💕 black suit or blue suit for my sister’s wedding

from: princess 🌹💕 you know i’d usually say black because it matches with everything but blue will pop out so you can look like the most handsome baby at the wedding :*

to: princess 🌹💕 and you’d make the prettiest date

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from: princess 🌹💕 i looked around some london unis at the fair today!!

to: princess 🌹💕 you’re really serious about this huh

from: princess 🌹💕 of course i am, you know me

to: princess 🌹💕 even if our time difference will be even worse if you move to london?

from: princess 🌹💕 you know we’d get through it

to: princess 🌹💕 i’m kidding cutie i know we would

–––––

to: princess 🌹💕

it’s 3am there why are you awake go to sleep baby

from: princess 🌹💕 i haven’t finished my chemistry homework jeno i’m so stressed out right now

to: princess 🌹💕 do you want me to help you?

from: princess 🌹💕 you hate chemistry

to: princess 🌹💕 who said i was gonna help you send the problem and i’ll send it to my friend

from: princess 🌹💕 you’re a lifesaver jeno, i love you

to: princess 🌹💕 anything for you

–––––

from: princess 🌹💕 jeno? hello? please help me it’s 2am and i can’t stop crying i know you’re in class right now but i need you i can’t stop

to: princess 🌹💕 fuck sorry babe i saw your texts but i couldn’t reply are you okay? it’s 4am there now babe? babe?

#follow my new blog!#self reblog #technically

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