On mobile! Anyhow, welcome to all the new members! If you'd like to plot or just talk feel free to message me! But uh, I really will be on tonight and for all those waiting for replies/starters, I definitely will do it tonight and tomorrow (and Monday) Sorry ; ;

x

okay but like listen

i got my brain buzzed agian adn i’m so ?? omfg tired nad hyper at the same time and i can’t really focus on writing attm, so yah, soryy. 

heelo to new people!!!if you’d liek to plot or w/e just sende ma message!!!

i swea ri tpye better than iamr n

!!!! asl o!!! it’s not buzzed like high or drunk it’s like ah weird trial protoypty eof  abrain machine?? anyways hyea!!

The laugh that leaves Jiwon’s is light and airy, humorous without the substance that makes the words mean anything more than the simple pleasantries they both seemed to mutually agree upon; Sana giggles in response, a girly one that’s soft and quiet, her shoulders shaking slightly as though her mind was forcing her body to physically show what she lacked in her heart.

“Where are you taking my bags?” She calls out, but the answer comes too soon as the glamorous Gosang Restaurant comes into view, the elaborate setting perfect for this impromptu date. Their seated and offered a seat near the windows showing the bustling streets of Seoul, and Sana’s once again taken captive by the magnificent skyline of the country she now sees (begrudgingly or not) as her own.

“You’re being awfully kind today,” she says almost cautiously, her probing question masked behind the shy smile of hers. One hand presses against her thigh as her thumb digs in, leaving a red imprint upon light skin to make sure she wasn’t dreaming up the entire scenario. “Did you finally read some of the stories I linked you about nice dates?”

Of course there had been no links sent, there had been little to no messages exchanged, but that didn’t matter. If their relationship was pretend, she could at least make up scenarios to fulfill such fantasies. “Maybe if you stopped smoking as much, I’ll finally kiss you properly.”   

take me to church ; s x j

There’s a hint of chuckle that thrums through Jiwon’s throat a was denied all too easily by the same girl who held his hand with a squeeze, and while he knew that he really shouldn’t, he lets himself believe that his heart jumped at the sweet gesture, letting his lips pull up into a lopsided smile despite how rare he showed it to others because he knew that he had to. Sana was special – supposed to be special – and being special meant showing her everything he has to show. Except for his god awful habits at least. Some lovers have secrets between each other, and the cigarettes, the drugs and the weed were his.

He thinks Sana already knows about it though. He reeked of cigarettes, his eyes were sometimes red from the lack of sleep (and maybe from something else) in their few meetings and to Jiwon, it was still a wonder why the girl hadn’t questioned him yet.

“Who knows, maybe you really do thirst for me.” 

Comes his joke once more, coupling it with a hint of laugh as they lazily dragged their legs together towards Gosang Restaurant. The initial plan had only been for them to meet up so Jiwon could carry the shoppings bags for Sana but seeing as he was already at the northern-western area of Seoul, and how rarely they ever met, they came up with an impromptu idea of a date. It was a great way to prove how much they treasured their time together after all. Making all of these unforgettable memories together and what not. 

“Don’t mind me, I just like making new friends!”

“And who are you to say I’m your friend?”

Kwon Jiyong. She remembers the name all too well. There had been rumors, very big rumors, that spread throughout the school in a matter of seconds, as though it were a plague – one that grew and grew until the words ran dry, but the sickness still lingered in the air.

Sana doesn’t like being callous, nor rude of any sorts, but it’s dirty in the thumping club, and the bodies that pressed against her unpleasantly only made it harder to keep that displeased look off her face as she pushes away yet another male attempting to draw his arm around her shoulders. And Jiyong is still there, nevertheless, refusing to leave his position in front of her with that coy smile of his clotting her sight.

Now if only she could forget that smile etched into her mind, dropping words of poison that seeped through her skin to poison her blood; Jiyong was never kind to her, and Sana (even if she was unrecognizable at this point) had never forgotten such deeds either. 

“Perhaps next time.”

OKAY, this is gonna sound really weird but, I got my brain buzzed today. literally. my friend’s father is a medical biotech guy, and he’s enhancing a machine to change brain waves. and basically what it does is help eye sight, attention, and keeps you more alert. 

and basically i feel high as hell so im’ going to like ikdk relaxx and acome abck later for replies 

sobbing i dk anymore, it’s still a prototype but dang, does it fele a lot of fun

so i might take a few das to rePLY I’M SO SORRY. 

also if anyone is new!! welcome!!! i would love to plot, just hit me up

squirrel princess❣

“You look like you could use a hand.”

Strength, as it seemed, definitely failed to be one of her virtues as her flimsy arms floundered beneath the weight of what was supposed to be a box of sheet music. Had it been someone else, the kind old man always situated near the corner of the street, or even the cranky caretaker lady who sat in the entrance fo Bukdong apartments, Sana would have been more than willing to fork over the burden that forced her muscles to spasm.

Heaving another breath from her strained chest, Sana shakes her head, smiling in the same placid way as she refuses, her voice as brittle as her bones that shook. “It’s quite alright,” she says (but even then Jonghyun stood to the side, simply observing her). “It’s not that heavy.”

Now who was she to lie as her limbs continued to shake like a leaf; teeth grit, fingers clenched, Sana continues her climb once more, a trembling step cautiously placed upon the stairs.

Damned to hell if she ever let him help her. And damn her once more if she slipped and fell, forcing humiliation onto her once more; there would be no cracks in this precarious image she built, and she would not allow a simple trip-up like a coincidental encounter to destroy years of effort once more.

"Wait! Stop!"

Sana doesn’t like swearing, but the obscenity falls from her lips in the familiar language of Japanese as her heel touches the asphalt; a screech of metal – a honk – and an angry shout from out the window of the rushing car that barely misses her by a couple of centimeters. 

It’s not like her to be distracted, but it’s not really her fault. There’s a blur of intoxication that hints itself upon swollen lips, and the faint scent of whiskey that makes it way out with that nervously husky laugh her lungs expel after the shock. 

There’s another thump, and another round of (painful) shock that thrums through her body, but this time, it’s self-caused as her legs give out and her back ends up painfully against the pavement. It hurts, a lot, but she continues to laugh in her drunken haze of frightened nervousness, and it worsens from then on.

“You shouldn’t have stopped me,” she calls out, her voice cracking from the strain as her lungs threaten to burst beneath the cold air enveloping her chest. “But thank you anyways.”

"Huh? Oh yeah, this view is nice."

Of course, the rare time that Sana had decided to actually dress in a revealing way, Jinhwan stoops over her, his eyes peering at her chest before slowly sliding up her face with that same stoic smile of his. Had it been anyone else, Sana wouldn’t hesitate in placing her palms against the boy’s cheeks and giving it a good red mark, but since it was the swimmer boy, she simply lets it go with a sigh through her nose. 

“Eyes up here,” she says, her voice just a bit slurred from the bit of alcohol she had ingested earlier (but he doesn’t need to know that). Using her fingers to point to her eyes, Sana chuckles despite herself. “For a rather stoic boy like you, it’s rare for you to be so open about what you’re attracted to.”

But of course, it’s just a simple compliment about her assets but, whatever. Sana was a bit drunk, and it was nice just being admired – even if it was the famous playboy from high school.

“Maybe a little harder, and you’ll finally get a girl to call your’s. Feel free to use me as practice in the meanwhile -- or don’t to save us both the embarrassment." 

Mmm Sana, I know you thirst for me.

“Repeat yourself and tell me if you seriously mean that.”

It’s rather cruel of her to say that so straightforwardly, but Sana wasn’t in the mood for games. She wasn’t particularly in the mood for anything today – but it was a required outing for the two of them. An unwanted excursion to prove something so subtle that it wasn’t obvious any except the two. 

But that had little to do with how she really felt. (And she knew Jiwon felt the same).

“See, I knew it,” comes the soft mumble in Japanese as she slides one hand down Jiwon’s arm only to grasp his long fingers with her own slightly padded ones. They’re a lot rougher than she would have expected – especially since pianist’s hands were never allowed to be leathery – but Jiwon’s was. Sana likes that, or she thinks she does because she ends up sliding her digits through his own and squeezes. 

Soft lips tremble against a rigid jaw as Jiwon stands erect, her back perfectly straightened – a physical deny of the facade his own expression puts on, softening and reddening ever so slightly to her touch. Sana loves Jiwon, or she likes to pretend. (And Jiwon loves to pretend to love Sana too – even though she doesn’t believe it.)

ben haenow starters. (part one.)

SECOND HAND HEART.

❝ i know i’ve been a fool but i swear i can change. ❞ ❝ it’s not like the stories, it’s never like what they said. ❞ ❝ i know who you want me to be, but i’m just not there yet. ❞ ❝ the broken road’s always been home. ❞ ❝ it’s so hard to forget. ❞ ❝ i think too much, drink too much, stay out too late. ❞ ❝ i can’t steal you the stars, but i can try every day. ❞

SLAMMING DOORS.

❝ we forgot how this began. ❞ ❝ i’ve been taking you for granted. ❞ ❝ you’ve been taking me for a fool. ❞ ❝ if this isn’t love, then why do we fight for it? ❞ ❝ don’t tell me this isn’t love. ❞ ❝ as long as you stay. ❞

ALL YOURS.

❝ i’ve been careless since i’ve been away. ❞ ❝ all i see is you. ❞ ❝ i’m all yours. ❞ ❝ they’re telling you lies. ❞ ❝ you act as if i’m already gone. ❞ ❝ i won’t live without you - i won’t even try. ❞

START AGAIN.

❝ i’m running out of time. ❞ ❝ we aren’t perfect - we can’t pretend. ❞ ❝ we can forget and just start again. ❞ ❝ for a minute it can be alright. ❞ ❝ i’m not sleeping ‘till it’s over. ❞

i’m so sorry ;; i was so busy during these days that i couldn’t reply or really log on to do anything except reply to a couple of messages. but i swear i’ll do everything in my inbox tomorrow (except a paragraph or two at most, since it’s a short starter), and if you’d like to plot, just hit me up! 

anyways, have a great day everyone !

what? the boy that hadn’t even spared a glance in her direction in high school is suddenly speaking with her, as though she were actually a person of interest. Sana isn’t sure whether to be flattered, surprised, or slightly insulted -- strangely enough, she feels like it’s all three of those things swirling around in her stomach.

“i don’t like mingling very much,” she says carefully, her tongue slow despite the multiple times she had practiced pronouncing all the difficult Korean words once again. years away in Europe seemed to have taken a toll on her language abilities, and well, her Japanese accent, the same one she had desperately tried to hide in Cheongnam came flooding back into her speech as she does so ounce again. “mingling requires talking, and that, i’m not exactly wonderful at.”

oh great. now Jinhwan is smiling at her, and that’s even more confusing than him actually talking to her. maybe he’s drunk? definitely. that had to be the answer or else it -- oh. or maybe he just doesn’t recognize her. that would make sense. (and now Sana can’t help but feel just a little more insulted).

“i play in the Seoul Philharmonic. one of the violinists there, but i double as viola as well.” shrugging as though that were just an ordinary feat (which, it certainly is not), Sana smiles a small smile to match the warm one that Jinhwan was giving her. “but you’re an Olympian. that’s a much better occupation than mine. congratulations on your last medals, by the way. we never talked in high school, but, i suppose that’s the polite thing to say in a situation like this?”

oh great. now what was she supposed to do? looking at Jinhwan, Sana extends her arm, offering her already half-gone champagne. “want some?”

okay, that’s definitely not right, but it’s too late now. so much for social skills.

mundane,

ruptures ;

Sana likes to indulge more than she should.

in her already sprawled collection of musical items (ranging from bows to the physical body of the instrument itself), Sana has more variety than the average musician. it just so happened, that, however, in this certain incident, she had decided to bring out her favorite bow.

the violin itself is pristine -- beautiful even -- with a glistening wood coat, its f-holes the perfect slender shape to compliment the body. and the bow, oh the matching bow that had cost her almost an arm and a leg (and if it weren’t for the funding she received by a generous sponsor, she couldn’t have ever have dreamed of owning it). they created a heavenly sound together.

or, to put it rightly. they had.

you see, Sana isn’t clumsy. she doesn’t like being reckless, in thought and action. but in this certain incident, it definitely isn’t her fault. she was watching where she stepped, carefully, her eyes trained on the ground; nevertheless, it might have been that exact precautionary action that caused her to bump shoulders with the very person she was performing for. 

crack

“Oh. I’m sorry--” 

something inside Sana breaks as well as she sees her precious bow underneath the foot of the singer (oh, Sana remembered Cindy well: her visage still the same youthful face, her mouth still smiling innocently despite the vile and rather crude words that would come from it often); the hairs sprawled, the wood crushed repair.

as much as Sana would’ve loved to scream and shout, she doesn’t. she stays frozen -- still, confused momentarily before a cold rush of fury, grief, and agony rushes through her at once. even after all these years, it seems Cindy -- her old classmate -- was still out to get her.