#the disastrous life of saiki k. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keilentine · 1 day

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ARMAGEDDON ‘cause i wanna see, i wanna see truly

━━━ " act one, armageddon supernova cant stop hyperstellar. 원초 그걸 찾아. bring the light of a dying star. 불러낸 내 우주를 봐 봐, supernova AESPA

( yn ) & the ikaris introduction MASTERLIST

• this chap only involves reader & her parents, next chap will have the jujutsu kaisen characters

‘reader speaking telepathically’ , thoughts’ , “talking”

‘when you have supernatural powers, the impossible becomes possible’

“wow, look at this little guy! so cute. im a huge dog lover” but im way more into girls’ the man said, petting a lady’s dog. suddenly escaping out its leash, the dog sprinted towards the road which happened to have a moving truck, “no! pochimi, come back— pochimi!” the owner said with panic

before it could even make contact, the vehicle flew above the dog, onto the space away from it. the dog walking back to its rightful owner like nothing, having the two speechless. “..that was weird. so, you wanna go out sometime?” said the man.

“ew, are you trying to pick me up”

‘my name is ( yn ) ikari, and i have psychic super powers’

‘sixteen years ago, an ordinary couple gave birth to a not so ordinary baby girl’

the scenery changing to when ( yn ) was days after birth, “so cute, almost as cute as mommy” said her father, “so cute, almost as cute as daddy” rhymed her mother. “oh, you” he tapped her head using his index finger. ‘wow, so i guess im still only second place’ baby ( yn ) said

‘i started talking when i was fourteen days old. without using my voice’

“baby ( yn )’s walking, baby ( yn )’s walking” clapped her mother

‘soon afterwards, i started walking when i was one month old. in the air’

“how cool” his father emphasized watching him walk from point a to b above them

‘and at one year old..’

“we’re out? i can’t cook without rice wine” her mother pouted. catching glimpse of ( yn ) teleporting, “( yn )?”, and returning back with numerous rice wine bottles

‘..i ran my first errand’

“oh, ( yn )”

‘my mom finally started to worry about me. now, you’d think after a year of this weirdness, they’d take me to get tested. but my parents are kinda weird themselves’

“im pretty sure she stole the rice wine” her mother held ( yn ) on her lap. her father right by them, “well, i’ll go pay ‘em back tomorrow when there’s time”

‘not to mention lazy’

just for ( yn ) to raise her small hand with the receipt, “our little psychic did pay after all!” her mother embraced

‘they can still act like love birds, and they’ll take everything in stride. including me, and all my weird powers.

so time rolled on.

i became the person you see now, a highschool student. as you saw with the dog and floating car, i still have my superpowers. i can bend spoons like any good psychic. and i can win any corporate giveaway i want. my life is a dream come true!’

‘..that is what you’re thinking, right? well let me drop some truth bombs, bending spoons makes it harder to eat and winning free popsicles just leads to stomachaches.

“she’s the happiest girl alive, that girl can have anything and do anything!” well that’s dead wrong. im the unhappiest girl alive, a girl who has nothing!

telepathy, psychokinesis, x-ray vision, precognition, teleportation, clairvoyance, etc, etc. sure i can do all those things. but having powers like that also means having something taken away’

‘sort of like how because we feed our pets, they’ve lost the ability to hunt. or when a mother spoils their child, he loses the ability to be a functional adult. in this way, there some key experiences ive missed out on. hard work, culminating in the sense of achievement, the thrill of being thrown a surprise party, they’re both totally foreign to me.

sure, i never get angry or sad about anything but that just means there’s no joy or thrill in my life either’

‘maybe i should focus on the bright side though, no drama means things are always peaceful for me and that’s not bad’ ( yn ) thought to herself while walking home. her father surprisingly outside their residence, “( yn )! welcome home, my daughter” he stood up, signaling her a salute. “you’re running kinda late today, huh?” he questioned

‘why’s dad sitting in front of the house?’

he pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, “i’ll get right to the point. im locked out of the house, can you open it up for your old pops?”

‘are you kidding? again?’ she passed the gate over to the front door. with one swift hand movement, a click was heard meaning the door had opened. “wow, i love those psychic powers of yours, they’re just so sneaky”

‘don’t call them sneaky’ she opened the door for her father. “( yn ), with those kind of powers think about all the things you can do” he said with a tint of suspicion, hand covering his mouth. ‘keep your dark thoughts to yourself, dad’

from the inside, her mother could be heard, “( yn ), is that you? you’re back?” making her father panic, “ah! we’ll talk more later!” he scurried off inside

‘i guess there is one thing in my life that’s decidingly unpeacful’

“i can’t believe you changed the locks on me again!” her father argued

‘that would be my parents current relationship’

“i hope you’re hungry, ( yn ). im making you breaded pork chops for din-din!” her mother smiled, glancing at her. “now you’re choosing to ignore me?! besides, i told you i wanted to have steak tonight!” her fathers fist going to point at his wife.

“im sorry i forgot, but i can boil you a leather shoe”

“i don’t want a shoe, leather or not!”

‘i wonder where it went wrong for them. they used to be so passionate’ a memory of them staring lovingly at each other with their hands together played in ( yn ) mind, “i love you like a fish loves water” then to their current state, “my hate for you has become as wide and deep as the pacific ocean!”

“i hate you like a fish hates air!”

“you suck!”

‘well, they’re still passionate now but it’s a little different’

━━━

“gord yourselves guys, i made a ton!” her mother grinned from ear to ear across the dinner table. her father then repeatedly banging on it, “hey! hey! hey!” pointing to what she had served him, an actual leather shoe. “is it good, ( yn )? oh honey, would you like something else?” her mothers usual beam still on her face

“no, because i bet it’s just the other shoe” he faced her. another plate with a shoe was plastered on the table, “boneappletea” she said. “that’s not even from the same pair!?” he yelled

‘they been going at each other for a year’

“hey, ( yn ). use your powers to turn this old shoe into a steak for daddy” he shoved his first plate in her vision

‘so in case you forgot, this pathetic dudes my dad, kuniharu ikari. he’s lazy and irresponsible and asks for help with everything in his life but surprise, surprise, the more i help him the more useless he gets, so lately i’ve stopped doing him any favors’

“what?! how dare you take your mothers side in this! do you have any idea how many shoes i have to lick each day to buy the food you’re eating now!?” he frustratedly shouted. ‘so, you do like to eat shoes?’

his father sighed, crossing his arms, “..alright, i’ll eat it— it stinks! what did you do to this shoe! are you trying to poison your father!”

‘im pretty sure that how they always smell, dummy’

“( yn )” a sudden bubbly background came about her mother, “now just remember what i’ve always said, please don’t use your powers for evil” she gave a shut eye smile

‘this is my mom, kurumi ikari’

“you must only use your powers to help those in need. or those people who you’re certain genuinely nice”

‘she’s a big reason why i haven’t let my gifts turn me to the dark side. she’s a caring soul. well.. to me’

“but feel free to use your powers to hurt your daddy!”

‘..she kinda has a dark side herself’

in the corner of their eyes, her father was seen chowing down on his daughters food, “stop eating ( yn )’s dinner, you thieving son of a bitch!” her mother angrily shouted, spooking her father away from the plate. “that’s it! we’re taking this outside!” she roared

‘in truth, i can break up this fight whenever i feel like it but this is something they’re going to have to work out themselves’

something shiny distracted ( yn )’s attention away from her parents, ‘coffee flavored jelly? hm, doesn’t taste bad’ she described whilst her mom spun her dad around behind her. finally snapping and accidentally throwing him straight towards ( yn )

from the impact, her coffee jelly had seconds from landing on the ground. as psychic, her fast reflexes let her catch the jelly straight into her mouth. landing on the floor from the save, she chewed her savory treat, “you wanted to eat jelly that bad?! forget the jelly, we got bigger problems! your mother turned into a monster!” his father feared

“stop running from me, you coward!”

“you have to help me, ( yn ). you’re my only hope to stop her rain of terror!” her father cried. from the anger ( yn )’s mom had, she lifted their dinner table in attempt to throw it, “you’re not leaving til i say so!” she yelled

making ( yn )’s father scream out in fear. before the table could touch him, ( yn ) used telekinesis to hold the table back. “huh..?” her father opened his eyes

‘i’ve got the weirdest parents. i really don’t care about stopping another pointless fight but i can’t help myself’

“so now you’re on your dads side?! but i even made you pork chops!” her mothers mouth gapped open.

‘it’s pointless? just wait’

“i want nothing to do with either of you again” that’s a lie, truth is i love them!’ her mothers thoughts were heard

‘no matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. in other words, all these fights they have are a sham’

“alright, well i hate you both too so there, yeah i said it” just kidding! you know i love you guys, i wanna snuggle!’ said her father

‘like i said, another pointless fight. there is one person here who has a real reason to be upset, me! those weirdos interrupted my dessert. i guess only a psychic can fix this’

“love you!” her parents said in sync. “wait, did you just say you love me?” is it really possible she loves me back?’ asked her father. “what? no. that’s you who said it” oh no! i thought i just thought that! but did i say it? and what does ‘she loves me back’ mean? he loves me?’ panicked her mother. her father pointed out, “so you did say it. you just admitted of thinking it out loud” is it possible that i love her so much ive started hearing things?’

he loves me ‘so much’?’

huh? she can hear me too?’

“what? yeah” .. he did say it!’

“not out loud..”

“—( yn )!” they both shouted. ‘forced shared telepathy. i used my psychic powers to link their minds at the nerral level. in other words, thanks to me they can now hear each others thoughts’

“turn it off right now! i don’t want your dad finding out that i still love him!”

“her finding out that i still love her is my worst nightmare!” they both waved their hands, flustered

suddenly a twist of emotions happened and they proceeded to apologize, “im so sorry, honey” cried her father. “no, im sorry it was all my fault!” followed her mother. ‘what a pain. normal people are complicated. at least now i can finish my dessert in peace’

“your coffee jelly would’ve trapped us in a cycle of violence, i wouldn’t have done it”

“you did nothing wrong, honey. it was all my fault for getting so angry at you and breaking all the doors and windows in the house”

as ( yn ) was about to dig in her pastry, her mother snatched it away, “let’s set things right! a tooken of our renewed passion” bringing the jelly between them. “wow!” her father took a bite

“is it good?”

“mmhm, it’s a dignifying treat. delicious!”

( yn ) stiffly glared at them, making all the windows shatter for the reason of taking her jelly away

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tangyangie · 1 year

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— 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐈 𝐊 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒!!

we all know that saiki isn't too excited when it comes to romance.

so... how did he land you? he doesn't know either. all he does know is that you're the only person he'd actually accept romantic gestures from.

hugs, kisses, cuddling—don't expect him to jump into it suddenly at the beginning of the relationship. he'll definitely need some time do do these things, if he'd do them at all.

but, once he does sort of settle down, he basically lets you do whatever you want. so what if you're harassing him? he prefers it be you over anyone else.

and maaaybe he's okay with cuddles. a little bit. he gravitates towards you in his sleep.

cafe dates!! or, anything with sweets, at all. take him to hershey park, for all he cares—as long as he gets to buy all some candy.

he watches your TV shows with you. he does his best not to get spoiled, and if he does, then he keeps it from you and acts like he wasn't.

he takes interest in the things you like. the music genres you prefer, your favorite hobbies, and so on. unless it involves bugs, he'll probably give what you like a chance.

he tells you about his powers eventually. he doesn't really know how he expects you to act, but he definitely doesn't expect you to just shrug it off. which is exactly what you did.

"you're a what, now?"

"a psychic."

"oh. you're serious?"

"...yes."

"oh.. cool."

please buy him coffee jelly. one second of seeing him in pure bliss is filled with enough joy to last you ten lifetimes.

one time, you tried feeding him coffee jelly while making an airplane "brrrr" sound. you did the whole, "here comes the airplane!!" as you'd spin around and twist the spoon until it came to a rest in saiki's mouth.

"and... that was supposed to taste better, how?"

"it just does. i don't make the rules."

you will playfully flirt with him all the time. doesn't mean he'd respond, but he tolerates it.

from time to time, he may humor you with a quick remark to counter your statements. but, it's always out of the blue, and always will leave your face feeling like an oven with your jaw dropped.

if you think he's one to do it in public, though, then you're crazy. pda is a big no-no.

you got him a pair of sunglasses once, and he stared dead in your eyes (with his glasses on). he asked you why you thought he needed it, and you responded that they were for when his green glasses got tired.

he blinked slowly, shook his head, and ruffled your hair. (it was an excuse to wear his glasses for a bit. don't think he wouldn't read your mind. not like he can help it, anyways.)

if you're cold in public, he stands near you and uses his pyrokinesis to warm you up, and may hold your hand. in secret only. if you tell anyone, his hand in yours is as good as gone.

he doesn't really get jealous. he's fine with being alone, but if you ask him to come along, he most likely won't say no. but if teruhashi is coming along, forget about it.

you play with his hands. like... i can just imagine gently grabbing his fingers and bending them like a seesaw or a bicycle.

he makes you come with him to take care of yuuta, hoping you don't have a resemblance to anyone else in cyborg cyder man no.2, or else yuuta will be all over you.

notes: okay guys 5 finals to go 🫡

#screaming in the void #and the void screams back #saiki k #saiki k x reader #saiki kusuo no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k.#tdlosk #saiki kusuo x reader #kusuo saiki #saiki kusuo #saiki x reader #saiki #fluff #hee hee #headcanons #dating headcanons #reader fic

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