#all the fun mushrooms grow in places I can't get close to
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Very young fairy inkcaps (Coprinellus disseminatus).
#Coprinellus disseminatus#fairy inkcap#mushrooms#fungi#mushroom photography#mushroom cluster#mycology#naturecore#nature#nature photography#original photographers#photographers on tumblr#all the fun mushrooms grow in places I can't get close to#so I was focusing through leaves and branches hence the unreal haze
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What’s A Rose in Fairyland about?
Thanks for the asks about this one @azapofinspiration, @duodipersponsh, and anon!! Alright, the original story, hehehe >:D I have been having a lot of fun plotting this one out! The basic premise is:
Right on the very outskirts of Fairyland, there is a small village of humans. Now, the forest of Fairyland is known for being very very bad for humans, as in "if you go in you'll never come back out", so they really shouldn't be living there — but in their defense, their village was not always on the edge of Fairyland.
Fairyland has been growing. Very rapidly. And it is now consuming their village, and no one knows why.
Most people in the village flee, but by then some of the residents have been infected by the roots of the forest. This means they cannot go too far from Fairyland, or else they'll become rooted in the ground and turn into trees, thus expanding the forest even further.
Pretty soon there's only a scattered group of people left in the outskirts of the village, both infected and not, watching their old houses be consumed. They know they can't survive there forever. Even if food weren't an issue (most of their farmland is now forest), there are monsters in the woods. Living too close makes it all too likely that they'll end up eaten.
So the main character of the story, Rose, decides to venture into Fairyland herself and figure out what the hell is going on with the fae.
...Unfortunately, Rose has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, and cannot pick up on subtext to save her life.
You can imagine how this might become a problem when facing a forest full of tricksters.
But yeah! Most of the story is gonna take place in Fairyland itself, and there's going to be some mystery elements, as well as character stuff — also, I have been really enjoying figuring out how the ecology of Fairyland is going to work! Fantasy ecology is so fun to mess around with (magic as an additional energy source!!)
I'll put an excerpt under the cut (since this is already getting a bit long lol), as well as some art I've been working on of Rose :D
Rose pushed through the brush, ignoring the tug of briars at her cloak, and emerged into a clearing.
It was brighter than the surrounding forest, but only slightly. The sun was still filtered through layers and layers of greenery that turned the light heavy and liquid, oozing down from above like honey. The few sunbeams that made their way to earth illuminated circling insects, their threadlike wings catching in the light as they whirled about in the air.
The clearing seemed entirely empty, but the surrounding trees appeared almost uncomfortably close to being a perfect circle. Rose thought about the fairy rings spoken of in childhood tales, and narrowed her eyes.
Still. It was the most direct path to take, wasn’t it?
The moss covering the ground was so dense and damp that Rose’s boots sunk into it with every step she took. She avoided stepping on the many mushrooms pushing up from the earth, remembering Martha’s warning about disturbing them. Rose really didn’t need her feet turning to wood while she tried to walk.
Suddenly, she paused.
Inside her lantern, the salamander had begun behaving oddly.
While before it had been peacefully curled around the candle’s wick, slumbering away, the creature was now crawling in rapid circles, seemingly in a panic.
“What’s the matter?” Rose asked, raising the lantern up to eye level so she could study the salamander closer. “You want out now?”
She crouched down and unlatched the front glass panel to free it, but the salamander didn’t take the offered exit. Instead, it dove straight into the flame itself and huddled there, quivering, its big eyes reflecting the fire as it stared back at Rose.
“Hmm,” said Rose.
She relatched the panel and stood, holding the lantern close to her chest. Then, with her free hand, she drew her sword, and held it before them both.
It felt a bit silly to be brandishing the blade at thin air — nothing was moving, aside from the lazily drifting insects. Still, the salamander had to be frightened of something.
“I’ll protect you,” she told the bundle of anxious flames, and strode forward with grim determination.
Before she had gone more than a single step further, she was caught around the waist by an arm, and yanked backwards against what felt like a human chest.
Without looking or thinking twice, Rose thrust the pommel of her sword back over her shoulder with every ounce of her strength.
The blow must have hit its mark, for she was released at once, and whatever had grabbed her let out a startled yelp of agony.
“Ow,” the voice said emphatically.
Rose whirled around, ready to strike again, only to find a human-shaped person there, doubled over and clutching at their face.
“By all the ancient wealds, what a prickly human!” the figure laughed, voice a little strained. “A little quick on the draw, aren’t you?”
When their hands lowered from their face, Rose could see the person was wearing a mask made of bark that hid all of their features, save for a rough pair of holes for their eyes. They were taller than her, and clad in an oddly fine-fabriced tunic and breeches of earthen tones.
Most importantly, however, their ears were long and pointed, standing out from amidst their long dark curls. An elf.
Rose leveled her sword at the elf, scowling. “Who are you?” she demanded.
“Ah, not even a hello? How impolite,” the elf bemoaned. Then they swept a deep bow, apparently fully recovered. “I am Silvian of the Luminescent Grove, or as some might call me, he who wanders. And who might you be, little human?”
“Why did you grab me?” Rose asked, ignoring the question.
Silvian paused, then pointed a rather long spindly finger behind her towards the center of the clearing. “...There’s a swallower pit just ahead,” he said plaintively. “You were about to walk straight into it, so I thought I should stop you.”
Rose glanced behind her at the seemingly empty clearing, then at the salamander in the lantern, still shivering away in the fire.
Oh. Maybe that was what scared it.
“But you needn’t take my word for it,” Silvian added, leaning down to snatch a loose twig up from the moss. “Behold!”
With that, he chucked the twig past her, landing it straight in the middle of the clearing.
In the next instant, a broad chasm opened up beneath the twig, and what seemed to be a hundred spines erupted in a circle around the hole, barely an arm’s length away from where Rose stood. She jumped back at once, hiding the lantern and salamander in her cloak, and watched with wide eyes as the many spines dove inwards on the twig to drag it down into the dark depths of the earth.
Once the twig was gone, a small fountain of dirt spewed up from the hole, filling it back in at once. It looked a little like a mole hill—but it sank in on itself rapidly, moss growing back across it at an unnatural pace, until the center of the clearing was just as still and peaceful as before.
There were a few less insects in the air above the pit, but the rest of the bugs seemed unperturbed by the loss of their comrades.
Rose waited a few seconds until her heart had stopped racing. Then she sheathed her sword, turned back to Silvian, and bowed. “In that case, my apologies. I acted hastily,” she said gravely.
Silvian’s head cocked to one side, as though surprised by this. Then he laughed, and his eyes twinkled at her from behind his mask. “Don’t mention it! If you wish to make it up to me…why not give me your name, little human?”
“I’m—” Rose began, then stopped.
Thought for a moment, remembering Reuben’s words.
Whatever you do, don’t give a fae your true name.
“—Me,” Rose finished firmly. “I’m myself, and I’m not falling for that.”
…Nevermind that she almost had, the very moment he asked her. Hmm. She would have to be more on guard, it would seem.
(And here is my WIP of Rose and her kinda fucked up sword)
#while plotting this one out I have come to the realization that some of the later plot elements are uh—#possibly the meanest I've ever been to my own characters#so that'll be fun to write lol#anyway thank you for letting my ramble about my oc plot this was very fun to write out :D#this is the first original plot I've made in a while where I actually have a solid plan for the entire thing! I am excited aksfjksdjf#senhart's writing#original story#a rose in fairyland
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ooh you play modded now? what are your fave mods/which ones do you recommend?
yeah, i joined a modded server a while back and now it's hard to adjust to vanilla minecraft again! As for favourite mods, it's hard to choose just a few but here you go
(i use fabric btw but i'm p sure at least most of these have forge versions)
If you're really into lore, questing, lore, adventure, and lore, End Remastered is really good. Regular eyes of ender no longer work- you need to find 12 of the 16 special Eyes scattered around the world via exploring, fighting, and mining! Each Eye comes with its own cool as hell design, and if you mouse over it, you will obtain Lore!
Extra bonus points if you combine it with Yung's Better Strongholds, which makes strongholds cool as fuck. Extra EXTRA bonus points if you combine the two with BetterEnd which I'm gonna detail later on.
Speaking of Yung's Better Strongholds, the creator also has upgrades to other structures as well. I've only tried three of their mods, though, the other two being the one with bridges, and the mineshaft one. They're pretty good.
Clutter adds various fun things to the world and I can't get enough of it. Features it gives you include: butterflies (including nether ones), cherry fruit, super cute little kiwi birds, some cute blocky furniture including really pretty lacy curtains you can open and close, moss-and-flower-covered deer in lush caves, butterfly wing elytras in every colour, books placeable on the ground, little floating fish in the End, and adorable plushies of various creatures!
And if the plushies in Clutter aren't enough for you, there's also Perfect Plushies to add even more! I especially love the bunny one it's so cute
Not enough decorations? Beautify is a particular favourite of mine. Like Clutter, its decorations are vanilla styled (I've never particularly been one for furniture/decoration mods full of circles). Some favourite features of mine include lattices you can put flowers on to have them growing on your house (I covered the ceiling of a room of my base in flowers that way), hanging pots you can put most plants in, and book stacks that give power to your enchanting table while making your enchantment setup look cool.
Speaking of pretty things, Oh The Biomes You'll Go is a must-have. Seriously, it's so pretty and so good for exploration and building. The trees are massive and range from forests of perpetual autumn to purple leaves with pink flowers, there's places so full of colourful flowers it's impossible to ever use them all, there's rare enchanted forests with cyan roses and there's tall cliffs with pools at the top with lilypads and how have i not mentioned the massive stone arches covered in moss yet?
After BYG, the second best biome mod is definitely Regions Unexplored. You've gotta get this one for the rainbow glowing crystal caves alone. That being said, the lands with blue and purple leaves on all the trees, forests with big glowing mushrooms, poppy fields, pumpkin fields some of which are naturally carved (you could make a lore out of this), and fuzzy hanging plant-like things in the nether with glowing ends don't hurt either.
What's that? That's not enough pretty things for you? Well, even if it's actually more than enough, you absolutely need to get BetterEnd. Legitimately the prettiest mod I've ever seen. The starry sky alone will blow your mind. And then we've got aurora crystals which are as pretty as they sound, colourful mosses and glowing flowers everywhere, crystal and petal and snowflake particles in the air in places, huge trees with leaves in every colour out there and lots of flowery vines or lichen, very spooky dark forests that i've gone full tma statement-giver mode about, large glowing mushroom-trees covered in moss some of which are big enough to build a village on top of, golden spiral trees, massive star-shaped formations of emerald ice in the sky... I really can't describe how pretty betterend is you have to see it for yourself. Also crystal elytras. And a wood type with spiral patterns in the logs. And an enchantment that lets you look at endermen without angering them. And pink silk moths.
On the other hand, if you're looking for something a little more... spooky, or you're really into lore, The Graveyard is one of my favourite mods ever. The mobs are terrifying, between the blood and the way they move and the fact that some of them have glowing white eyes which sets my Minecraft veteran instincts off hard, but the structures are awesome and the lore is INSANE, to the point that I've got an entire google doc dedicated to my observations with this one mod and have imagined up music videos about the lore and the happenings that led to my uncovering of more and more of it. You're gonna find yourself going crazy seeking out more and more structures with lecterns, chests, and item frames containing books written by someone long dead, and getting closer to putting together the pieces (hehe double meaning). It's also got by far the coolest bossfight I've EVER done in Minecraft, with a REALLY good song that plays during it. And tons of skeleton decorations you can make to decorate your base for Halloween.
So if you're a fan of manmade horrors beyond your comprehension, you gotta try Graveyard.
If you're a fan of lore but don't want to have to deal with ghouls or revenants or nightmares (understandable) you still gotta try Graveyard but do it on peaceful difficulty or with commands that let you make it day or switch to creative mode at a moment's notice.
(note: Graveyard's lore contains heavy discussion of cults, as well as mentioned child death and described body horror. all avoidable.)
It's also got a companion mod called Nyctophobia that adds some spooky biomes.
Creeper Overhaul adds biome-specific creeper variants, and I'm pretty sure at least one of them is friendly and won't explode you (or at least neutral). There's bamboo, desert, dripstone, and more variants of creepers, all of them designed to camouflage into their natural habitat. It's fun to make headcanons about all the different kinds.
Still not over a certain mob vote? Friends & Foes adds losing vote mobs! The glares are cute and tameable and the wildfires come with a new structure, but if you ask me, it's only got a spot on this list if you also get the addon Flowery Mooblooms, which allows for moobloom variants with every single flower in the game!
Not enough creatures? Want more? Naturalist is great in the creatures department. You can tame the adorable songbirds (including cardinals and canaries), put a snail in a bucket, ride a giraffe or zebra, and get your ass handed to you by a hippo. Also there's dragonflies.
If you want some super cool weapons, Simply Swords has the coolest fucking weapons. You can craft scythes and battleaxes and stuff, or you can go exploring and find weapons like a fire sword that explodes your opponents, or a poison sword that can convert any positive status effects on your opponent into negative ones, or a purple fire sword with an eye on it that is always watching and can regen you by damaging your enemies, or... you get the picture. It's also got support for Mythic Metals which adds some cool ores.
As for food, Croptopia is good. There's lots of fruit trees, you can make a lot of jam and soup and pie and juice and stuff. There's also Farmer's Delight which I really like, and an addon for the latter called End's Delight that adds more food to the End!
If you're into Origins, I'd say it's not fully complete without Extra Origins alongside it. <- she says without having ever actually chosen any of the origins from it, just thinking they're critical to Modded World Lore bc her first modded server had it and thus including them in her large collection of design headcanons for each origin
Finally, there's the More Axolotl Variants Mod which is exactly what it sounds like. around 10 new axolotl colours, including sculk and glow ones that you can only get through breeding. Little guys <3
Aaaand I think that's covered all the bases for my favourite mods for all the things required for a good modded world: pretty things, cool items, lore and worldbuilding, creatures, food, and the horrors!
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The Kamisama Kiss scene was so cute in full. Listen, Tomoe and Scara have some parallels. I have to reread again but Tomoe striking a deal to become human just to marry Nanami was 😫😫😫 and the resulting plot that unfolded and revealed so much!!!! Ugh. When Nanami asks if it’s a dream, my brain went into hyperdrive about how the Traveler and Nahida visit the Aranara and in a quieter corner, there’s ever blooming Sakura trees and a home in traditional Inazuman design.
I shall name that story/hangout quest “The Eternal Dream” because of the sheer symbolism and meaning for both Inazuma and Sumeru. I am split on if it should be a story quest with deeper meaning or just fun. And unfortunately, that does lead to some angst potential depending on how Genshin continues. Gosh, think of Zhongli or another archon randomly visiting them. Zhongli wants to check up on them and lets them know they are always welcome to come to Liyue again.
Puppet reader and Scara taking up hobbies!!! Musical instruments!! Weaving!! Sewing!!! Gardening!!! And having little picnics where they’re just so content and domestic!!!!
Scara being playable is hilarious because of his desire to stay with puppet reader. I think if he does join the team occasionally, he now carries one of puppet reader’s hairpins along with the drawing of them. What if he upgraded and it’s a wedding pic??? Cmon think of how cute that would beeeee. Actually how many playables are single? Catch Scara looking at a pic of his beloved and the rest feeling hella single like damn. He’ll buy some gifts to bring home when he decides that he’s been away too long. Sorry, Traveler but puppet reader comes first. In and out of the bedroom lol.
Bloom anon
Admittedly, since the last I saw of Kamisama Kiss was ten years ago I barely remember anything besides kisses and youkais and Tomoe going to school sometimes
I still can't believe that of all people, Scaramouche would be kinning Tomoe akdheonw
Omg Eternal Dream <33 I want that cute place somewhere with the glowy mushrooms or close to the Aranara house! We might have to wait for 3.3 because it might draw some redundance, however, with Zhongli supposedly visiting Sumeru for Alhaitham him visiting the two wouldn't be so farfetched!
And yes to hobbies!! Definitely top priority there is gardening, they got manuals and everything, they even have Nahida to help (who would sometimes sneakily use her dendro powers when she realizes the plants they were trying to grow is dying) so they don't get sad <33 I also want to drag Tighnari into this but that's for my guilty pleasure ship that is hate-hate Scaranari
I feel that whenever Scara is away, he makes sure that Nahida is at least looking out for you or that you have a home in Sumeru City so you're close to her. Omg wedding pic??? This got me thinking if they would do a Sumeru or Inazuma themed wedding hmm hmm if we go by canon, all of them are single so get fucked everyone hahaha
AND THAT LAST LINE GDI BLOOM ANONSMDKDBSKNWMS HAHAHAHAH OUT OF POCKET
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i said it must not be fun to be an elf but yeah holy shit must be extra not fun to be a human in this world. you walk near a tree and the tree might or might not attack, depending on if there's elves around and how they feel that day. if you get too close to a forest they'll send birds to peck your fucking eyes out. i suppose they haven't invented guns yet but at this point it'd just be evening out the playing field. but now i'm wondering, are there people (on either side) who are pacifists or otherwise don't believe in the war? are there people who tried to establish peaceful contact at some point? in one of these truce situations maybe, since they won't get attacked there? is there a political climate or is it just like, folktales stuff where adults tell kids "ooh the evil humans/elves are super evil bad meanies don't go near them" and it breeds over generations without them examining it?
Well, it's not that bad! If you don't venture too far off the roads and into the wilderness you probably won't ever get attacked by an elf. Forests nearby big enough villages also tend to be safe, because if humans managed to last long enough to build the aforementioned village and populate it, either there weren't any elves in the first place or they were killed off. While elves resist getting driven away from their own lands they don't usually try to reconquer and repopulate it once they were driven out. It's desecrated for them, it's like building a new village on the corpses of the population of a previous one.
It's little and remote settlements where the fun starts :) people there would rather starve than venture beyond the safe strip of land, even if the last blade of grass has been picked there already. Actually, that grass can become knife-sharp if you anger an elf nearby. Animals that would usually run away will attack you. Insects will crawl up your ears and nostrils. Roots will pull out of the ground to wrap around your ankles. Branches will get in your face and poke your eyes out. Bushes will grow out finger-long thorns in minutes and readily pierce you with them. Even the ground will shift creating holes where there weren't any and making you break your leg. And then you're gonna die a slow, excruciating death, and not once get a glimpse of your murderer. Then your corpse will be magically spit out by the earth somewhere near the village so that someone will definitely find it. There will be a couple warnings like these before people will start disappearing from their homes, and if they don't get moving even then, well, then these homes will be overgrown with poisonous ivy, rats will eat all the winter supplies, mushrooms will sprout in basements and wells and spread spores... Well, you get the picture. So either villagers decide to get the fuck out if there, or they gather forces and burn the fucking forest to the ground. I think you understand why humans don't like elves.
But I don't really want one side to be the victim and the other the monster. So don't you think that humans treat elves any better than elves treat humans, oh no. But the methods here are more familiar to us. They usually burn them alive because they believe fire is the best method to purge the evil from them, but other methods of killing are also popular. Imprisoning elves doesn't really work because once they're put in magic-stopping metal they die on their own within a couple of days, even if they're not injured and get water and food.
The forces are usually even, because humans not only come in big numbers but also with loads of weapons, and elves don't really use weapons, they don't even know how to work with metals. So once they are revealed and trapped in one place they can't really do anything anymore.
There are, of course, people (and elves) who think all this violence is unnecessary. There are always dissidents in every society, this one is not an exception. But finding a like-minded soul in an enemy camp and communicating correctly to them is extremely difficult. It happens, though. Elves can control nature, but to a reasonable amount. They can't, for example, make a tree grow fruit in winter, or make an animal disease disappear, or make it rain during a drought. And they also need to eat. Usually these truces grow out of sheer despair, because it's better that you live along with your enemy than you both die. They might even have something resembling trade: elves manipulate nature to provide bigger harvests, for example, or draw more animals to settlements for people to hunt, and get crafted items in return. Another example may be that villagers direct travelers to elvish areas, elves then kill them, and they divide the loot. But again, this is more of an exception than a rule.
There is no political climate, not really. As you said, more folk tale stuff. As humans tend to live in big communities due to the smaller ones prone to elvish attacks, they almost never get to see an elf or witness the effects of their magic. Same with elves, although they are a bit more well-acquainted with humans, but it's still like seeing a bear break into your house. You know who they are you've seen pictures you got warned by your family multiple times about them. But when you see them the first time it's still a shock. You're gonna shoot it and talk about it for the rest of your life. Remember that both sides know little to nothing about each other as they don't communicate and leave no records behind that the other side can study. And lack of knowledge always leads to demonisation.
#wow i wrote a lot#sorry for putting it off for so long. i wanted to gice a detailed answer#got a lil but carried away when describing elvish attacks lmao#fantasy wip
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heyy, idk if u accept/do these, feel free to ignore this if u don’t, but i rlly like ur writing style and wondered if we could have a small thing about the mycelium resistance members just beeing .. weird and eerie? i‘m talking fungi growing on them, looking a little too pale, but they‘re still acting like everything‘s fine, there‘s just a weirdd vibe to it
i just think it would be so good in ur writing style ahdkykdk once again sorry if u don’t do these!!!
Scar had been prepared to gloat. Really, he had! He'd been planning on going into the Barge and gloating to Grian about his recent mycelium-killing endeavors, and about finding a way to find the Mycelium Resistance headquarters, and basically about everything, because gloating really is fun sometimes, you know?
It's just that...
"Uh, you've got something..." he trails off.
"...yes, Scar?" says Grian. "Are you just here to bother me? Because the Barge is busy as usual, and I have a lot of sand and gravel to restock."
"Oh yes I absolutely am," Scar says.
"I didn't have a response for that," Grian says after a moment, incredulous. "Scar, you're the mayor. Do you have time to be messing with perfectly law-abiding shopkeepers, who definitely aren't undermining your regime with mycelium-based ecoterrorism? Because, as I am that -"
"Oh absolutely. I just make Bdubs do my paperwork. Anyway, you've got something, you know, on..."
Scar gives up and gestures to his entire body.
"...my clothes?" Grian says.
"No, it's the mushrooms. Yeah, that," Scar says.
"The what? Scar, are you getting enough sleep? Clearly this resistance - which, once again, I have nothing to do with - is getting to you."
Scar opens his mouth. Scar closes it.
"Do you not... know? Here, hold on, do you have a mirror in your shop? Let me get a mirror," Scar says, pushing past Grian to go inside the Barge. The floating shop's floorboards creak as Scar walks through it, the planks ominously laced with white algae - or, Scar thinks, more fungi. That can't be good for the boat. Now, grass - that clearly would have more structural integrity! After all, shipwrecks have weird moss growing on them all the time, right? And those are boats, and grass is basically the same thing as moss.
Scar doesn't know how boats work.
Anyway, it takes him getting to the part of the barge where Grian sticks random sale items to find a mirror, which is really quite an oversight on Grian's part. "You know, you do sell some basic home amenities here. You should really add mirrors to the lineup! Anyway, here, you clearly haven't had time to look at yourself lately, come on, come on..."
"Scar, if this is some new psychological warfare tactic, it doesn't work on me, I'll have you know," Grian says.
"No, Grian, you need to look," Scar says. He tries to make it clear from his voice how serious he's being. He can feel some blue leeching into it. He hopes it gets his point across.
"Fine, fine," Grian says. He picks up the mirror and looks in it. After a moment, he looks back at Scar with a raised eyebrow. "I look like I always have. What's got you all upset, huh, Mr. Mayor?"
Scar stares at Grian, whose skin is grey. Who has purple and brown and red mushrooms painted across his skin, white mycelium laced in and out of the skin. Who has blackened eyes, and deep bags under them, and his hair is ragged, and there are mushrooms growing out of his throat, Scar had been trying not to look at it, and there's something wrong with his nails, and -
Scar swallows.
"Are you, uh, sure about that?"
"Yeah? Honestly, Scar, maybe you need more sleep. Clearly, making Bdubs do all of your work for you is a lot harder on you than you'd think it would be."
He can see the places where the mushrooms have dug into Grian's skin. He looks dead.
"Right," Scar says. "Okay. Right. Right."
Grian stares at him a moment longer. "You aren't going to lose to the Mycelium Resistance any faster if you stand here."
"You're right, I won't," Scar says, after a moment. "I need to go talk to Cub, actually. Now, continue being... law-abiding. Actually, Grian, do me a favor. Stay in the Barge for a bit. HEP will be here to... decontaminate... soon, but we need to make sure you aren't contaminated either! If you look over here, you see an infection."
"You have no authority here," Grian says. "I'm an independent -"
"Grian, please."
Grian falls silent.
"Scar?"
"I'll be back soon."
Scar leaves the Barge with the horrible sinking feeling that Grian absolutely will not be staying in place when asked. That Grian thinks this is all a part of the game. That Grian doesn't...
Well, Scar thinks. This certainly isn't gloating! He didn't get to gloat. How horrible! He better solve this soon, so he can go back to the proper game. That's how this ought to go.
#answered#prompt ficlets#a bee fic#hermitcraft#you have hit the. 'sometimes my tone is weird'#unreality#(not. really? but the two of them are seeing two completely different things here so i'm tagging it.)#body horror#this was fun. i liked this.#grian#goodtimeswithscar#like i know this is kind of a fandom cliche but it was fun to write so i don't care
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Bog Witch; How To Grow Mushrooms
Ahhhh who doesn't fucking love mushrooms?
Oh you? Then skiddadle this post isn't for you >:(
Anyway, I've been desperate to get into the art of foraging, where I am in the northern hemisphere we're just breaking into spring - soon there will be lots of young shoots and spring greens to monch and cronch on. However what I am most anticipating and excited for is Mushroom Foraging.
Unfortunately, other than the fairly uncommon Morel Mushroom which is usually available between March and May, there won't be any mushyrooms to forage until July at the earliest. And why would I wait for that when I could just buy a fuckin mushroom home grow kit and do it MYSELF.
This is some jank sketchy Oyster Mushroom kit I bought on ebay, I recommend if you wanna grow your own kit to buy an actual reputable one. But I'm poor AND impatient so here we are.
26th February 2021;
So the kit came like this. I didn't get a picture of the patch on the back but I'm assuming it's kind of a self healing injection site. The pack came precultured and all I had to do was cut the + in the middle of the package, soak it in water and spray it every couple days until the mush goblins come and provide me with a bountiful harvest.
More expensive kits come with your substrate and mycelium culture separate and you have to inject the culture with a syringe and needle through a self healing injection site. Other kits come precultured, like this one, and most of the time all you'll have to do is cut, soak and spray. There are pros and cons to both and I hope to get more expensive kits in the future so I can compare the 2, if you guys would like to see that.
So I cut the cross in the pack and laid it face down in some filtered water (it doesn't specify that filtered is required but I can't imagine chlorinated does much good for it). I was originally concerned that because the substrate was cracked that it would be crumbly and fall out of the bag into the water but it retained its shape and somewhat "fused" back together after soaking. The instructions said overnight but I, having no short term memory, period, forgot and left it for almost 24 hours.
2nd March 2021
4 days later
Would you believe me if I told you these 2 pictures were only taken 5 hours apart? And the fuckers are still going.
Please note that mushrooms and fungi don't photosynthesise. They have no chlorophyll and therefore cannot turn sunlight into energy via glucose. A lot of mushrooms get their glucose from their host plants (i.e. trees, roots underground, etc.) Which I think is why seed and sawdust are great substrate for mushrooms like this to grow in.
Mushrooms ARE however photoSENSETIVE and will grow toward light sources, contrary to the popular belief that they ONLY grow in the dark, which is why most mushroom kits are provided with a box that covers most of the culture apart from where you want the mushrooms to grow from.
Direct sun however is likely to damage them or stunt their growth so either a light shady place or out of direct sunlight will do perfectly.
3rd March 2021
Overnight growth! An insane jump in size this morning at 11am, this photo was taken just 20 hours after the last.
What's even better? The fungus is now PINNING!!
The pins like to be kept super hydrated until they form proper mushroom clumps or baby mushrooms so I'll spray them daily until then, then every other day.
4th March 2021
Overnight explosion in size. Looking very very closely I can see the gills are opening just a little. Looks like I didn't need to wait long for baby mushrooms after all.
5th March 2021
Das a big boy. At this stage the gills are starting to become more apparent and they're starting to smell more and more like mushrooms!
There's some yellowing on some of the caps so I'll have to see how that goes but some of them should be okay to eat.
6th March 2021
Yuh uhhhh. I would say these are about done! See that some of the caps are yellowing on the sides and even closing upward? We don't want this to happen to anymore of them so we'll pick them now.
Hold at the base and twist to release the CLOMP .
I immediately took them to the kitchen to prepare them, split them into 3 sections; cooked one, stored the other 2.
Incredibly Important Initial Impressions;
Not disappointed in the least; fried with a lil olive oil, some butter and some garlic, they have a slightly chewy but buttery texture. Taste wise, I'd say they're not your average button mushroom from the supermarket. They're meatier, earthier, and have a slightly but pleasantly bitter after taste. Hardly noticeable but very welcomed.
They unfortunately don't taste like oysters OR the souls of the damned.
What am I planning on using them for?
Well I'm going to be cooking one of the other clumps for my mum, since she can't eat garlic her's need to be cooked separately. As for MY other clump, I'm going to prepare it and have myself a heavenly Ramen Feast tonight.
Conclusion
I had a lot of fun growing this, especially since it didn't take nearly as much time as I initially thought it would. My aggressively impatient brain is grateful for that.
If I grew more kits in the future and you would be interested in seeing me document them, let me know in your reblogs!
Yours sincerely,
Local Bog Cryptid xoxo
#cryptidcore#cryptid#i am a cryptid#goblincore#cottagecore#cryptid aesthetic#forestcore#mushroom kit#mushroomcore#mushroom#oyster mushrooms#grow your own#grow at home#adhd#autism#home cooking#foraging#spring#farmcore
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KIDS IN LOVE — Pt. 3 Old Friend
↪Porco Galliard mini-series
↪content; canon universe, description of violence, unrequited love, admiring from afar, season 4 spoiler, manga spoiler 127
"Hoi, (Y/n)! Can you help me with this stew?!" Hange shouted even though you were just a few metres away from them. "I know I said I will cook today, but I think something is missing!" You could only shake your head in amusement before plucking some rosemary and edible mushrooms that you could find.
"I'll be there in a few minutes, Hange." You answered with the same enthusiasm, yet a lot calmer tone compared to the rowdy brunette. Someone from the survey corps assisted you in your task, searching for some oyster mushrooms or morels that grew nearby. The name was Connie, if you were not mistaken.
"You know, I used to do this with my best friend." He spoke up, it was the first time he tried to initiate a conversation with you. "She was a good hunter, her aiming was like something out of this world, and she knew a lot of things about woods too." He looked so excited as he shared a piece of his life, but you could hear the melancholy lingering there in his voice.
In this endless war between Marley and Paradis, you wondered how many people lost their loved ones. Everyone was fighting their own battle inside their heart, setting aside all the grief so they could continue to devote their heart to the war. And a small moment shared like this was the only normal thing that could be found.
"She seemed lovely." You answered with a gentle smile on your face, putting the mushrooms to the basket.
"Oh, she is not." He snorted as he dismissed the compliment. "She is anything but lovely. A prankster, gluttonous, she only had one goal in her life and that was to reclaim our freedom so she could do nothing but eat."
You chuckled at that, even letting out a snort too at how he grumbled under his breath.
"Well, at least she seemed fun to be around with." He didn't argue with you on that and shared with you a few memories that he had with her. How she ate a warm potato in front of the Cadet Corps instructor, even giving the old man half of it, not caring that everyone looked at her with horror.
You learned a lot with just a simple story that he shared with you. Connie could be a prankster, somewhat reckless too, yet he would do anything to protect his friends. The two of you spent time together plucking mushrooms and sharing past lives, holding on to the new comfort that was found before getting back to duty.
"By the way, I think I remember where I heard your name before." He grabbed the basket in your hand as he walked beside you to the camp. "Niccolo, the other chef from Marley was close with my best friend, and he told us that he had a fellow chef who could cook even better than him."
"You know Niccolo?" You whipped your head to face him, ignoring the fact that your friend just praised you so easily. You couldn't contain your excitement, someone from Paradis knew your friend after all.
"Yes, I could say we are pretty close. Since Sasha, that gluttonous best friend of mine, kinda had a thing with him." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, making you chuckle in an instant knowing the implication. Now you wanted to meet her for real, it would be lovely to see your friend being flustered over a woman.
As the laugh between you died down, silence followed you once again, but it was not one that made you want to excuse yourself out from. He started to loosen up around you, and it was good to know that at least some of them didn't set a deadly eye upon you like how it used to.
"I will take it from here." You snatched back the basket from his hand before rushing ahead to Hange, making him bewildered with how sudden it was. You didn't stop your pace, but you turned for a while to wave at him. "See you later, Connie! I will cook tasty food for all of you!"
The scout was taken aback by your words just now. Knowing that someone who days ago was his enemy by nation, now would cook for them was something that even he couldn't believe. He didn't know what drives you to fight, you mentioned that it was freedom, but somehow he felt that it was a little more than that.
But it didn't matter what it was anymore, he was happy to know you now.
"I wish you could meet her, Sasha."
〄
You were not really surprised that something like this would happen. One second everyone was eating stew together, another Jean was tackling Reiner to the ground for telling the truth about something that happened a few years ago when he was here. There was so much rage inside Jean's eyes, something that you never saw from him since he always seemed to be the calmest among all.
Well, you only knew him for a few days, of course, you wouldn't know much about the rest of them.
You flinched when you saw Reiner getting beaten up, his face was now covered with his own blood. It was no secret that he could heal himself, but anger like this was dangerous to be kept alive. Everyone started to get along, this was not something that you wanted to see, because now, it felt like a drawback on both sides.
You couldn't take the shouting anymore, you couldn't bear to see two people that were supposed to be friends like this because of these circumstances. From the corner of your eyes, you saw how Gabi wanted to throw herself on top of Reiner.
But you stopped her, pushing her petite body out of the way before replacing her place.
"Jean!"
You gripped Reiner's shoulders so tight as you felt Jean's feet kicking your ribcage. Tears build up in your eyes, either it was from the guilt of wanting freedom by killing the Eldian in Paradis or because of the pain, you didn't know anymore.
This was too much for you, violence. Porco warned you that someday you would see more than just someone hurting an enemy. In war, even friends could turn into a foe. You let Gabi do the talking, yet all she said was left unanswered as Jean wriggled himself free and turned around.
"Hey, I think we should do something for you." You heard Annie's soft voice as she put her hand on your back. This gesture was enough to make you lift your face, teary eyes staring back to the blue orbs. "It hit right on your rib cage, right? We need to check if it is broken or something."
Gritting your teeth, you slowly moved your body to sit. Everyone was watching you carefully, even the rest of the scouts were looking at you with worry in their eyes. You tried to keep the expression on your face as neutral as possible, didn't want to show them that it hurts.
"I am fine, Annie. You should take care of Reiner." You answered her with a monotonous voice, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill before. "It was nothing that I couldn't handle."
Annie didn't look convinced at your response, she narrowed her eyes a little, observing your face who was now averting her gaze by looking down.
"You are not a titan shifter, you can't heal yourself." She stated, not wanting to back down knowing how stubborn you could be. "You didn't grow to be a warrior or a soldier, you are just a chef."
"I am not weak!" You knew that she didn't mean any harm by saying that. "And I am not a kid either!" But that didn't mean it hurt any less.
"Hey, I didn't say that you are weak, and no one said that you are a kid—"
"Porco did!"
You balled your hand into a fist, sucking a deep breath as you wanted to keep your emotion in check. Annie was taken aback by your sudden outburst, even mentioning the dead comrade. Letting out a long sigh, you relaxed your hand.
"Porco always said that, Annie." You continued, still looking down as you felt so vulnerable. "And I am tired. I want to be stronger so I can keep on living, so I could reach my freedom." Then you lifted your head, now finally looked at her. "Our freedom." Something that your old friend couldn't get to see in this world.
You gave her a small smile before looking down to see Reiner, feeling relieved that he started to let out some steam, notifying that he had started to heal. Suddenly, you felt something pushing at your back, making you yelp as you didn't expect someone trying to put pressure on your body.
"Becoming stronger doesn't mean you neglect any pain that you felt." You widened your eyes as you saw Pieck, who was now in titan form, now sitting beside you. "You need to take care of your body, keeping your mind and emotions in check, don't be reckless and let Annie take a look at your rib cage."
You frowned at this, feeling like a little kid being scolded by her parents. Pieck could always change your heart despite some hurtful truth that she always spouted. She pushed you once again with her mouth so now you stumbled on Annie's arms.
Annie let out a small chuckle when she saw the pout on your face. She hoisted you up slowly, making sure that the gesture didn't hurt you more. You were still reluctant at first, but you knew better than to argue in front of them. She grabbed your arm and guided you further to check you up, and as you walked, you could see from the corner of your eyes how the scouts were all worried about you.
"Come on, soldier, let me see how your wound is." Annie pulled you back from your thought, her eyes fixated forward. Even if she was always detached when you were a kid, she tends to have a soft spot for fellow warriors and close friends.
"Alright." You answered softly, letting her take care of you. "Thank you, Annie."
"It's nothing." She shrugged her shoulders, and you were grateful that you had comrades who could get through your stubborn head. "After all, if Porco was here and you neglected the care, he would be the one who threw a tantrum at us for not convincing you better."
"Annie, not cool!"
〄
The sun seemed to be so cruel today, the sweats on your forehead didn't seem to stop as you sat on the wooden cart. On your left was Falco, he seemed to cling into you so much as Gabi did the same on your right, though careful not to put much pressure on your rib cage where you took Jean's hit last night.
You thanked God that it turned out to be nothing. There were some bruises on your skin, but your bones remained intact. Though sometimes you would still winch as the cart passed some bumps on the road.
"Miss (L/n), how are you feeling?" Falco asked softly, his big hazel eyes staring at you. You blinked, somehow seeing his big brother inside those beautiful orbs. He was caring, an optimist, no wonder Colt would sacrifice his life if that meant this little kid would not feel abandoned.
"Ah, it's nothing to worry about, Falco." You raised your arm that wrapped around his shoulder before patting his head. "It was just a scratch." Your orbs eyeing the man across you, Jean, who now had his head hanging low. You didn't want to worry anyone, and a little bruise was something that you could handle.
He nodded, seeming satisfied with your answer, and you thanked God once again that they were not too pushy like Annie and Pieck. His little fingers grasping on your green cloak, somehow didn't want to let it go.
The cart was filled with silence, and if only the sun was not cruel today, you bet that those two kids would be asleep in no time.
"Miss," Falco spoke up once again, earning a single hum from you, telling him to continue. "I don't mean to bring this up now. But," He hesitated, a look of conflict written all over his face. "I-I just want to say thank you."
"What for, dear?" You locked your gaze on him, now confused since you felt like you haven't done a lot in his life.
"For everything!" He exclaimed. "For making that tasty stew last night, for giving us warrior candidates free dessert when we passed by the restaurant, for telling us it's okay to be just a kid sometimes." Ah, you remembered that day. "And most of all," He trailed off before clearing his throat. "Thank you for making my brother happy."
Your lips parted, eyes never left his face as he gave you a beautiful smile. You could feel Reiner glanced at you with a knowing look, while Annie just raised one of her eyebrows in confusion. You felt like you stopped breathing as you processed the information, your mind suddenly played some of the memories that you had with the older Grice.
His never-ending smile when the kids were around, his serious expression that occurred when the talk of war was brought up, his gentle gaze that loved to settle on you —
"What are you looking at?"
You couldn't help but call him out as he stared in your direction. It was not like you were irritated, but more like you afraid his gaze would affect you in any kind of way. Though it seemed like your question just in from one ear and out from the other. "Colt, stop it, I swear."
"What?" He protested, a smile that tugged on his lips showing you that he knew you were not angry at him. "Is that so wrong to look at you?" So he did look at you.
"Well, I am here just to bake them some cake. Shouldn't you keep watch of them? What if they were missing?"
The warrior candidates; Gabi, Falco, Udo, Zofia, and Colt himself, were visiting your workplace before continuing their journey to the headquarters. They still had an hour before a meeting with the warriors, and Udo was begging for a free dessert that he would get if they stopped by your place.
While waiting for the cake to be done, the kids were running around the huge restaurant where you mainly served the Marley Military and the Warrior Unit. They were off the instant you told them to explore, saying that they should enjoy their time before getting drilled by the Commander.
You expected the big brother to follow them, but he ended up just sitting on one of the stools near the kitchen island, deciding to accompany you instead. When you prepared the ingredients and baked, you could feel his hazel eyes lingered on your form.
"They wouldn't like it if I go with them." He scoffed, feeling a little bit hurt. "Falco would shout at me to be with you instead, saying I am such a coward for—" He cleared his throat then as he realised his mistake. "Nevermind, those kids just didn't like to be accompanied by me all the time after all."
"Hm, that's an acceptable excuse." You chuckled softly, your words making him blush a deep shade of red at your accusation.
"I am not lying! Falco really said—"
"Calm down, Colt." You walked towards him and patted his shoulder lightly. "I am just messing with you, you know I trust you with anything." A gentle smile appeared on your lips as you gazed at him, and you could feel him stiffening in an instance.
Remembering something, you retracted your hand, somehow feeling guilty. You cast your gaze down as you recalled what Porco said about him a few nights before, something about how the older Grice took a liking to you. And no, not in a platonic way.
"You know, you don't have to think about it," Colt whispered, enough for you to hear. "I know who you set your eyes on, and I never expected you to look at me like that." He said it carefully, and you wondered how come he understood what you were feeling.
"But, Colt—"
"There was nothing for you to worry about." He chuckled, though you could hear a hint of sadness lingering there. "I never expected to have this kind of feeling too. But I am alright with that, I am grateful that when I feel like this, it was with you."
He looked up, giving you his signature smile. However, you knew this time it didn't reach his eyes, and you didn't dare to say anything. "I understand my place, (Y/n)." He continued, now reaching out his hand to ruffle your hair, the gesture felt so bittersweet yet comforting as it lingered even after he withdrew his hand.
"I am happy enough to have met you."
"It was nothing," You swallowed a huge lump, letting the tears blinding your vision as you ruffled the light blonde hair that belonged to Falco, doing the same thing that Colt always did to you to give comfort. "It was nothing."
↪Back to Wall Maria
↪Send an ask if you want to be a citizen of Paradis (taglist)!
#porco#porco galliard#porco galliard x reader#porco galliard imagine#porco galliard scenario#porco galliard x you#aot x reader#aot imagines#aot x y/n#aot angst#aot#snk x reader#snk imagines#snk season 4#snk
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Okay I see god!reader and I'm inspired but I also saw that they were young my mind went child- Imagine just like an adolescent reader having powers but being incredibly nonchalant about it, like they don't realize what they have is abnormal at all.
Dream SMP: Imagine the kid being rather close to the Arctic gang. One day the kid wants something Techno has. Maybe it could be a gapple or a weapon of his and Techno jokingly tells the kid that if they can get him a few netherite ingots he'll be more than happy to give them want they want. Cue the reader conjuring a few ingots and asking if they can have what they want now. They don't even wait they just shove the netherite in a chest and take what they want while Techno just stares at them dumbfounded. Before the reader leaves Techno has to stop them just to process what the hell they just did. Totally shows them off to Phil while carrying them like a cat, claiming that they have two main character kids on their side. If they ask the kid why they don't just spawn things by themselves they just shrug and claim that it tastes/feels better when its actually made rather than spawned.
Hermitcraft: I also saw a nature god post and it took me back to the Mycelium Resistance- Imagine the kid wanting to join and Grian saying that all they have to do is place a few mycelium blocks around (and disobey Scar) and they'll get in instantly. Imagine Grian's absolute shock when all the reader has to do is stomp their foot and soon the grass beneathe them starts turning purple with little mushrooms growing out of them. Grian can't help but laugh, patting them on the back and saying they're definitely on board, possibly as his right hand man as well. He couldn't wait to have them proudly show off their powers to not only the other resistance members but also to HEP when the time is right.
-🍯
A god just using thier power without thought, yes-
It was supposed to be impossible, to get that many netherite ingots in such a short time. Yet you didn't even leave technos sight as you just created the five he asked for. You just shoved them into his arms as you took the "cool ass sword" off the wall with a look of victory on your face. As soon as he got control over his body back he rushed to show what you could do to Phil. After some questioning of what you could do he asked why you never used your powers. "It's just better naturally spawned" with a shrug
Grian looked at the fresh patch of mycelium patch at your feet with nothing but amusement and joy. Oh this just got very interesting. You were welcomed without a second thought, as the other members shared his fascination while you happily grew mushrooms up the wall. Even turning a cow back into a mooshroom. Hep was about to have a kid as their worst enemy, this was going to be fun
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It is me, again😂
Thank you so much for accepting my requests, I loved them so much! I have to admit, you're a very good writer! ♥️
Is it okay for me to request something again?
As I said in the other requests, if you don't want to, you can delete it, I don't want you to feel obligated(?) to write!
I just want to request the twins, Idia and Ruggie with an s/o that when is nervous they tend to scratch themselves, can't make eye contact and repeatedly they apologize!
Sorry for any bad spelled word, English is not my native language🙈😖
Btw take care, I love you♥️
Hello again ^^
Thank you alot, your words made my day ~♡
Sorry for being late as usual and i really home you would like this chapter too♡
Take care and have a good day ~♡
• He watched you playing basketball from afar and let's say he really got impressed by your performance so he thought it might be a good idea to ask you to join them in Savanaclaw but maybe it wasn't a good idea after all...
• "Hey i didn't know that you're that good at basketball!"
• He came surprisingly from your behind out of nowhere, you gasped as you threw the ball and blushed looking at him
• " i i I'm...."
• But before you finish your words you didn't pay attention that the ball didn't fall in the basket but it hit the border and returned to you hitting you in your head knocking you to the floor!
• "(Y/n)!"
• He of course rushed to your side trying to wake you up but he failed so he called for Jack to carry you to the infirmary where you regained your conscious
• "Sorry that i surprised you that way...i shouldn't have done this" he felt guilty for what happened to you
• "N no, it's really f fine" you pulled covers on your face hiding your blushing face
• "So, are you interested in joining our team in Savanaclaw? I really like your performance...it was amazing" he blushed on talking to you scratching his cheek with his finger
• " y you think?!"
• You felt happy with the praise you got from ruggie, you always watched them training and let's admit it you always wanted to join them one day but you didn't have the courage to go and apply for that
• "What do you say? Wanna join us?"
• He waited for you patiently knowing it would be a bad idea to approach from behind if you while you're busy gardening, you were growing plants and most importantly you were growing mushrooms which was the quickest way to get the tall male's attention
• "Ehem, can i join you?"
• You turned around to see a tall figure standing behind you out of nowhere giving you his well known closed eyes smile, you gasped since you didn't know he was even here....since when he was watching?
• "S sure!"
• You said blushing as you couldn't even make an eye contact with him moving aside to allow him to help you, you kept silent the whole time as there was a huge ice wall between you both which he wanted to melt
• "Do you know i love mushrooms?"
• It was a fun yet cute info from him, you didn't know why he told you that but you only laughed abit
• "If you do then i can give you a plant!"
• Bingo! You finally began opening up to him, "is it ok?oh you don't have to!" A blush appeared on your face as jade gave you a wide smile feeling happy with your gift as he watched you taking it from the ground putting it on a new planting pot handling it to him
• "So can we be friends or something?"
• "Y yes....i guess"
• And just as jade planned, his plan on making friends with you worked with a success as you both became really close friends and planted mushrooms together!
• Unlike jade, he won't walk slow to you not to make you freak out or give you a heart attack floyd will just attack you there
• You were spending most of your time swimming and you seemed to be good at what you were doing, he watched you over there as you were ready to jump and everything until...
• "Shrimpy-chan you're really a good swimmer!"
• Floyd yelled behind you just as you were jumping which made you freak out and fell into the water and of course you swallowed lots of water and now you're choked great job floyd!
• Floyd jumped after you and brought you back to land , the second your eyes met floyd's who was on the top of you your face because riddle's hair colour, " awww are you ok shrimpy-chan? Sorry, i scared you" he gave you a sorry expression.
• " u umm can you please g give me some space, Floyd kun?" You looked away blushing and he did as you said
• "Why do you look that nervous? Have i don't something that bothered you?"
• Actually shouting on your ears the second you were ready to make a perfect jump making you lose both your attention and balance was actually annoying also being so close to someone isn't really comfortable but you decided to choose a gentle answer " ummm never mind it's ok....but why did you came here from the first place by the way?"
• Wrapping yourself tight with the towel and drying yourself to not catch a cold this question suddenly poped up in your head, "well i came here to cheer for you! I also wanted to join you in swimming tho"
• Tho you were a little mad at the male but you couldn't resist how cute he is you couldn't help it but blush and turn your face away from him, " i i don't mind that" just as you said floyd jumped on the water turning into his eel form and i can tell that you and floyd will become close friends very soon!
• You joined gaming club cause why not?gaming was something like a life to you, no game? No life! (Latterly me), you were playing pvp mode unaware whom you were playing against but he wasn't taking it easy!
• You achieved nine win-streaks and you can't lose it now! Winning was a life matter for you, the other side there was the other players who played against you and he was smahing the console as you could hear the loud yet fast ticks he was making but at last...
• "I WON! YEAH!!!"
• "NO WAY I CAN LOSE!"
• Loud steps were close to you, idia was furious to know who BEAT him amd whoever this person was they should run for life! But the walking oven guy started slowing down as he saw you...a girl! sitting on the chair
• "I lost to a girl?!"
• You jumped from your place and cracked an apology not even making an eye contact with him and took your way to the door
• "W wait!"
• You stopped and turned to idia who was also sharing the same blush as you, " w what is it?" You spoke slowly still blushing
• " congratulations on winning and..."
• You waited patiently for him to speak and trust me it seems more like it was something really hard for him, he actually don't speak to his normal mates how about a girl?
• "And?"
• He moved his hand to his back neck then to his hair and he also was avoding your gazes before he shut his eyes closed and spoke in light speed "yourgamingskillsarereallyamazingit'sreallyimparssive"
• Error! It took you some time register what he was saying but once you registered it your face became ten shades of red, both you and idia covered your faces with your hands in embarrassment!
• " y you really think so?" You asked shyly getting a nod from idia who held his arm in silence staring at you," d do you probably wanna join me in another turn probably or try a new game together?" He was doing an effort here to speak those words to you, " s sure!" As you gave him a small smile accepting his offer you both tried almost every single game in the world and trust me idia will do his best to win the game against you!
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twisted wonderland idia#idia shroud#twst idia#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland ruggie#ruggie bucchi#twst ruggie#twisted wonderland floyd#twst floyd#floyd leech#twst jade#twisted wonderland jade#jade leech
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Tumblr had a new update for the anon asks. Look what I can do now.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Yeah! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't believe it. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Barry why don't you use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. And a perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got some lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. It's special day, finally graduating. Never thought I'd make it. Yeah!, three days grade school, three days high school. Those were so awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Hey, Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hey, did you hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to his funeral? - No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everybody knows, you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead. Yeah! I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement right park into our regular day. I guess, that's why they say we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... ...9:15. And that concludes our graduction ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Are we going to pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it's going to be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? And you'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we
only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Barry, why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. Yeah, but, Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. check it out. - Hey, Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where those guys have just been. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. I think bees make too of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have some fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. One time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. And what were you doing during this? Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that if you want. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. You know, we're going hit a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! It's a puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. Have you decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you something about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Well no... Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait untill you see the sticks I have for you. I could say anything I want right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some fresh honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. To honey! Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - I can't believe we're starting work today! - Today's the day. come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! And one of them's yours! Congratulations. son! Step to the side please. Yeah! - What did you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Well, step up and make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. - Any
chance of getting on to the Krelman Sir? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelman opened up again. What happened? Well, wheneever, a bee died. That's an opening. See that? He's dead. dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. But that's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. You're cra If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Well, look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - You ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power, kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? copy that visual. Hold on. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this colour. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. chemical-y. careful, guys. It's a little grabby. Oh, my sweet lord of bees! Hey, candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! coming in at you like a missile! Help me! You know, I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can just start packing up, honey, because I believe you're about to eat it! What! No? Oh, you cannot be serious! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you
don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I've got to get home. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, can you close the window please? Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? It folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favourite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I walk out of a job interview, they're flabbergasted, they can't believe the things what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I gotta tell ya, I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Kill it! Kill it! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Well, why does his life have any less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of them But you know it's an allergic thing. Hey why don't you put that on your resume brochure. It's not funny my whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Yeah! sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You can put carob chips on there. - Good night. - Supposed to be less calories or something. - Bye. I've got to say something. She saved my life. I've got to say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. I know. You're talking! I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine, It's just.. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, you know, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. Well, yeah! I mean, this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! Yeah, I am a bee. And you know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I mean, I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. Anyway... And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. And I'm going to leave now. - Wait! wait, wait, How did you learn to do that? - What? That- that- that- that... The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... can I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. coffee? Well, uh, I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. unless you're making it anyway. It takes two minutes. Really! - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want a little rum cake? - I really shouldn't. - Have a little rum cake. - No, no, no, I can't. -
Come on! You know, I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms here. - Where? - Well... These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. Yeah! And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Huh-huh Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So anyway, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! You know the Turtle Pond! Yes! I'm right off of that! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. Really? Yeah! - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Well, why not? - I don't know. It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. Well, he's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. - And do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. Look, you did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there. You had your "experience." And now you're back you can pick out your job and everything can be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? - Not a wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - You know, I'm not attracted to spiders. I know to everyone else it's like the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. Oh no, no. no, no. That didn't happen. You didn't do that. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! No, no, no! You're dating a human florist! W-w-well, we're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, you're talking to humans beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - That was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - Do you know what a cinnabon is? - No. It's bread Come in here and cinnamon Be quiet! and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking
bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I've got to start thinking bee? Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It's been three days! I don't understand why you're not working? Well, I've got a lot of big life decisions I'm thinking about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry, come out from under here. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! You go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here, Barry. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to when you yell at him! - Then why are you yelling at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, Mom, I've got to go. - Where are you going? - Nowhere I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? Isn't that faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! What, you don't have anything like that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must just want to sting all those jerks. We really try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you really have to watch your temper. Oh yeah! very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. Well, he's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. Boy, you've really got that down to a science. - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. Why! You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes we. - How do you even get it? - Well, bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, and cooling, and stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you're going start talking! Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't know what you're talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you... bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me
where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! crazy person! Oh my, What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? Oh man, They will wipe anything that moves. Now, where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - What about you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - It's a wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. SPELLING MISTAKES BELOW But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Hey, what's up, bee boy? Hey, Blood. And it was just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! So I'm just assuming this honey truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - Well, we're all jammed in there. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every-every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You have got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? Then, we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Hey, check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. How did you two get here? Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done to us! and I intend to do something about it. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That's just a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. Barry, how did you get mixed up in this? Cause, he's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. Oh Barry. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Who's side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop them. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, Barry. what could one bee do? I'm going to sting them where it really hurts. In the face! In the eye! - That would
really hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it really matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson, is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Don't forget tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we're going have three former queens all right here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm just a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Well, where I'm from, you wouldn't think of suing humans We were thinking more like stickball or candy stores. How old are you? Well, I want you to know that they entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. Thank you Larry, You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... No I mean he looks like you and he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him... Next week on Bee Larry King... Old guy glasses, and there's quotes along the bottom from the guest you're watching even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, they're hairy and they're here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. Look, i-in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! But, it was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. Wha! - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again, hun? Listen, you better go because we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me anyway? Bees have good qualities. Si certo And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Yeah! those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, they just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake plastic things! There's nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Well, maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - You know, Barry this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. - I guess. Are you sure that you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! Sarah, it's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we're going to hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? I don't know but it's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't have to be at work during the day. Hey, you think these billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team.
Any of you boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you are representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. And as a bee honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us 'cause we're the little guys! And what I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only taking away everything we have but everything we are! I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, Pretty big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I Have to say, I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. Well, they're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. Yeah, you mean like this? Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. I have to say - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first may, I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I also see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome but with a churning inner turmoil that's always ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you Mr Liotta? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this little creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! Well, I just think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.
I'm telling you I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, you know, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Yeah! Oh, that was lucky. Well, there's stil a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. I find the ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? Hey, look I know how hard it is trying to find the rightjob. We certainly have that in common. Do we? Well, bees have 100 percent employment of course, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to go drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life any more valuable than mine? It's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. Yeah! How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, look at me! I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know what, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm so sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you going to be OK for the trial tomorrow? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Now that's good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the very best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've got weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry Mr Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. - How good? - What? Do you live together? Wait a minute this isn't about... Are you her little... ...bedbug? Hey, that’s not the kind of I've seen a bee documentary or two. Now from what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't even your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! And don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going
to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! - The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! - Please Mr Montgomery. I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? Please! I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn - against the bees yesterday when one of their - Thank you! legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria they got it from downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was that like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think that was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? No, Get up, Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. You get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. You know, Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly, and as a result, quite offen we don't make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! Yay! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! Vanessa, Do you know what this means? All the honey is going finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret
this. Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? All right. All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What are you demand as a settlement? First, we're going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed bad-breath stink machine. I believe We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting down honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on around here? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - No, they're just home. They don't know what to do. They're laying out, they're sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... And now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And who's fault do you think that is? You know, I'm going to guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I guess I didn't think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these others things. And it's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. Well, that's our whole SAT test right there. So you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? And I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How would we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down?
Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. and I wanted to help you with your flower shop. Intead. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless I have another idea, and it's greater than all my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, here what I'm thinking they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we got do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Alright Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. That's nice brooch by the way. Thank you. It was a gift. Then once we're inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? Yeah! I could be the princess, and ... yes I think you could be I've- the pea! Yes, I got it. - Sorry I'm late Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It's supposed to be under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm going to go talk to the marshall. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby will do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. And once we're at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - Did you and your insect pack your own float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? - Can you remove your stinger. Sir?. - That's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is going to work Vanessa. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. I'm afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we're going to be experience a couple of hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I've got get up there and talk to these guys. Be careful. Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable travel pool filter. Excuse me! Excuse me! captain, I am in a real situation here. - What'd you say, Hal? - I didn't say anything. Bee! No! no! Don't freak out! There's a chance my entire species... What are you doing? Stop! - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? I tried to talk to them but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait a minute, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from
JFK Airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... That's Barry! ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! Well, we have a electrical storm in the area and two individuals at the controls jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute Mr Ditchwater. There's a honey bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson's work and his no-account compadres. Haven't they done enough damage already. But isn't he your only hope right now? Come on, technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. The wings are too small their body are too big... Hey hold on a second, Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass doesn't make sense." - Get this on the air! - You got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. Mr Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you. Because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to doing what we do working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. You know what! This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait a minute, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! Well then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! You don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I don't think I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together Listen to me. You have got to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! You snap - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, you two what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop. What Blacktop? Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. But it's strong, and it's pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. - Cut the engines. - Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This is the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid of
it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius man Genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're going to survive as a species, this is our moment! So, what do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! Yay! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I got to do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? Ma'am I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? Who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Alright, hold it. hold it. hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision in the middle of a huge musical production number! All right. All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
I’m genuinely crying
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Papa don’t preach || Deirdre & Jared
Timing: Before the end of the party.
Location: The store/ Jareds farm/ middle of town (they wander)
Tagging: @deathduty & @themidnightfarmer
Description: Jared picks up an initially reluctant Deirdre for a good time!
Triggers: Mind alteration tw, injury tw,
After the first night perhaps Jared had gotten a little carried away. But from his point of view what was the harm in keeping the party going as long as he possibly could. He’d never had this much of a good time during mushroom season, he’d really been missing out on just how good it felt to be free. With a growing mass of fae and enthusiastic ‘vicious’ type people back at the farm to take care of, Jared had made a trek out to the store to stock up. Load after load of juice, and alcohol, and food were being pushed into the bed of his truck when he felt eyes on him. Feeling that tingling in his fingertips he recognised this as what Lydia had described as sensing another fae. He smiled widely at the onlooker and waved a hand “You feeling like a party? Got a rager going on at my place.”
Deirdre was itching for a party, her body burned for it. She resisted the call the best she could, but the more she thought about the mushrooms, the more she wanted what they offered. Who was she kidding, anyway? She had always been terrible at resisting the pull of things; love, death, mushrooms. She burned her gaze into every fae she came across, the unspoken question of mushrooms hanging between them. Today, it happened to be some poor tall blonde man. “Fuck,” she hissed, “yes. I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been waiting for someone to ask. I just need someone to ask.” She twitched, bouncing with energy. Her mind screamed its arguments. This was wrong. What if there were mushrooms at this party? She said she would be avoiding those. She told Morgan she would. “Can I tag along?” She pointed to the truck, “I could use a good party really bad right now. I have all this energy from the---” she gestured wildly, “you know what. I’ve been trying not to step in one but---” She coughed, “just, yeah. I could use a party right now.”
“Well, I’m asking bud!” Jared grinned at her. He closes up the bed of the truck and hits the metal. “Hop in, you can absolutely tag along.” His mood lifted even further when she implied what had given him joy these last few days. “Too late for me on theta front.” He told her holding the passenger door open for her to get in. “Have one next to the first barn on my farm. It just popped up this year with no warning. Never has before. But I guess with more and more like us in the area it’s likely it felt the need to be more liberal this season.” Almost skipping around to the drivers side he hopped in and smiled again turning the engine on and taking off. “I’m Jared, your host for the evening. Who’re you?”
Deirdre settled into his truck with excitement. It wasn’t until she was already buckled in that his comment about the mushrooms hit her. Oh no. Oh no, this was bad. She should stop. She should get out and-- “Mushrooms!” She cheered, “I knew I could count on you to have the good stuff, stranger. I love you. You’re my new best friend. I’m going to make a human get a tattoo of your face to show how much I love you.” She grinned madly, kicking her feet up on the dashboard. “Deirdre,” she introduced herself casually, “nice to meet you, Jared. I can’t believe you live on a farm. I grew up on one. I miss it.” She turned to him, “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun, you and me. I know it. I promise it.”
Not quite sure what to make of her comment about a tattoo his only comment was “If you do make sure it’s by Luce Vural.” The drive would take them out of town and then down the long dirt track to the outer gates of his land, so they had time to chat a little. “My farm isn’t like one you likely grew up on. Got a greenhouse, but I don’t really grow any crops. My livestock aren’t all that friendly either. Only bit that might be similar to a real farm is the horses. Got two working and one rescue. They’re real saviours of the place let me tell you.” The promise caught the nymph off guard and he blinked. “You promise? That’s wild, but you know-” he cut himself off and let the haze of excitement wash over him and chase away the worry. “Sounds rad. The others should all still be going strong in the barn.” Pulling up to the farm he delighted in pointing out the ring, visible from the spot he was parking in front of the house. And then gesturing to the rowdy group tucked away in the barn. “I’m adopting every last one of you guys into the family. I’m going to take good care of you, you’re going to have a fucking great season.” He enthused jumping out to unload the truck.
“No farm is like the one I grew up on,” Deirdre sighed, staring out at the landscape rushing past them. For a moment, she seemed to sober and remember that this was a bad idea. In another, she grew more excited for the planned party ahead. “I like horses,” she said absently, forgetting herself. When they finally reached Jared’s farm, she was happy to hop out and survey the land. So there was the barn, and there was the beautiful, beautiful ring--practically aglow against the grass. “Yeah, that sounds great and---I’m sorry, excuse me?” She snapped her attention to Jared, confused, “you’re going to do what? Adopt us? I’m sorry that---what? Adopt!?” He must have misspoke. Deirdre shook her head, remembered the mushrooms she was soon to be reunited with, and tried to help Jared unload. “You can’t adopt other fae...we’re technically already family.”
“No farm is like mine either! Maybe not in set up but it’s one of a kind I'd think.” Jared laughed heartily, not really picking up on her mood, he was too in his own head about having potentially just found a fae that felt similar to his kids. Of course he was not a nymph of vicious fae, so any feeling he had was all down to the mushrooms, but in his mind he was really developing since he had stepped into that circle. Unloading the soda from the back of the truck Jared beamed. “Yeah adopt, or rescue like I do with my kids. You’ll all be safe to have a good time here is what I mean.” Had he been clear minded he would have been able to hear how weird that sounded, but as it stood he just laughed. “Well, no adoption required then, you’re already part of the family. Welcome to the farm.” On those words it was as if the spell on the fae and humans in the barn had been broken, the people started to spill out towards the bonfire again, and the music got louder. “This season is my first, I plan on doing it properly.” Jared admitted before nudging Deirdre towards the ring. “Come on, lets both do it right?!”
"Like you do with your—you have kids?" Deirdre watched Jared curiously, she hoped she might find some answer in the way he moved or the expression on his face. But he was serious. He wanted a family. "Uh huh…" Then she watched humans and fae pool out of his barn, moving their party across the pasture, towards a bonfire. Even as far as Fairy Ring parties went, this was impressive. She whistled under her breath, "you're doing good for yourself, Jared." And then there was the mushrooms. Deirdre froze, staring down at the ring. It wanted her, it called for her, she could feel Jared urging her and the other fae ready to welcome her in. But she didn't want this. She told Morgan she wouldn't, she told Morgan there would be more time and she—Deirdre's hand snapped out and she gripped Jared tightly. "I-I can't—" She started to cry, trembling wildly as she poured the last of herself into resisting. "Please, I don't want to—I don't—" She was begging nonsensically, pleading with herself and the mushrooms. Then she stepped forward. The mushrooms had won, and her tears dried against her face. She turned to Jared and grinned wide, "let's fucking party!"
“My animals are my kids usually. I love every single one of them.” He told her with a beaming smile. “But lately people have been coming to stay and I can’t say I don’t like it an awful lot as well.” Dropping off the last box of chips Jared was startled out of his action by the woman grabbing his arm tight. He was almost shaken out of his daze by the tears in her eyes and the tone of her voice. What was wrong with the circle? Was there something he’d missed? Was he putting all his new family at risk being around it? But the moment seemed to pass as quickly as it started -if only to Jareds addled brain. His arm followed her as she took that one step needed to be in the circle. And then as if by magic, her fear was gone, the entire tone of her being had shifted into what it had been before. An excitement at the prospect of a party and not...whatever that had just been. Ignoring what had just happened wouldn’t have worked if he’d been more sober, but as it was, he took her hand and started to pull her towards the party. “Lets dance!”
Jared was Deirdre’s bestest friend ever. Nevermind that they’d just met, and that she knew nothing about him other than the fact he was fae, blonde, tall, owned a farm and said strange things about family. It didn’t matter. Because he was one with the mushrooms too, just like Deirdre was. The banshee pulled off her shirt and tossed it aside, running towards the party with Jared. “I love you, Jared!” She screeched, maintaining a safe volume, but by a slim margin. “You’re like the best. I heard it from the shrooms. They said it!” The mushrooms welcomed Deirdre happily, just like the party. And she whooped and hollered and danced like she was born to do it. “Why aren’t you getting naked?” She asked her new best-friend forever.
His responsible act was finished as soon as Deidre had changed her tune about the whole situation. She ran and laughed and started to take off her clothes and Jared remembered just how much he HATED wearing any. Stupid human laws about indecency, everyone used to be naked millions of years ago. Stupid humans had it all wrong. Running after her towards the crowd at the bonfire Jared pulled his shirt over his head and stumbled, falling and rolling trying to get his shoes off. He bounced up as soon as they were gone and he laughed, why on earth had he even gone for snacks and soda. Someone else should have gone, one of the humans who hadn’t had the urge to be rid of the barriers between them and nature. He reached Deirdre and grinned, weaving through the crowd of fae and humans alike to turn up the music. He offered her a hand. “Lets dance!”
Deirdre danced wildly, taking Jared’s hands and spinning around him, spinning him around her--there was a lot of spinning. So much so that at the end of it, the sky suddenly became the ground...or she’d simply fallen over and forgotten which way was up and which was down. Deirdre hopped back to her feet. “We should get louder!” She yelled to Jared, “the mushrooms like it when we’re loud! I can scream? Should I scream?” She wasn’t sure how long they’d been dancing, or how much longer they’d keep dancing. But it didn’t matter much to her, she would have stayed there all day. She was, after all, Jared’s family. And, weirdly, adopted by him? She hadn’t worked that one out yet. “Do we have to call you daddy?” She asked quietly, thinking about it more, “because that feels a little weird.”
Jared had grown dizzy as well, and hadn’t been able to catch her when she’s fallen. But the grass in the pasture was thick, and hadn’t been too badly trampled yet by the party goers so she at least had a soft landing. Time seemed to be of no concern to almost everyone on the farm, even the host himself couldn’t tell anyone how long it had been from moment to moment, he only noted the sunrise and fall...and that was only if he looked up. “Scream away!” The nymph told her laughing, not having picked up on what kind of fae she was at all. It seemed like an innocent question to him. He wanted all his vicious kids to have whatever their hearts desired. “Daddy?” he giggled, and then snorted and then giggled again. “Yeah totally.” she didn’t have to, no one had to. But the idea caught him and he couldn’t keep himself in line. “Look at me, I’m your daddy now.” he said. If he remembered this when he was sober, the regret would set in for sure. But that was sober Jareds problem now.
It was weird. Even through the fog of mushrooms, Deirdre knew that. But this was Jared’s farm and if he wanted to adopt everyone, then that wasn’t a concern of hers. She looked at him as he commanded and giggled. “Sure thing, daddy!” Weirdness aside, Jared was her new best friend forever and she wasn’t going to let any weird names squander that. “So cover your ears!” She aimed up at the sky and let out a scream, and then another, timing the sounds to the beat of the mushrooms in her head. She turned to him with a grin, allowing the party sounds to swell louder around her. They all needed to scream, even if they couldn’t do it like her. “How was that, daddy?”
He’d gotten the giggles, and when she actually bought into the joke Jared was sent into another round of them. This was however halted abruptly when she screamed. The shock sent out like a wave through the party. Everyone one by one covered their ears, although as soon as she was finished it didn’t take long for things to start back up again. The magic of mushroom season and a sprinkling of stray sod. “Holy heck that was wild, banshee? Never met a banshee!” He had all sorts of questions for her, but they were cut short by the sirens. Seemed the party had reached a loud enough state to warrant a nearby neighbour some grief that they’d never had before from Jared. And the scream had upped the stakes. The nymph blinked and just looked on as the cop car rolled up. The only rational part of his brain managing to have him reach for pants. “Can I help you officers?” he asked, trying to act cool, but his mind was still reeling.
“Are you the property owner?” the cop asked looking at the crowd of people and then at Deirdre. “What’s going on here?”
Deirdre scrambled for her shirt--humans were so weird about toplessness--except she couldn’t find it, so she had to take one off another party goer and slip it on. She beamed at the cops, sliding up beside Jared. “Just a party,” she nodded, putting on her best ‘boring’ voice---humans liked that too. They wouldn’t take well to the giggling and the jumping about. “You know--” she nudged Jared, “I think I saw some drugs over there.” She pointed towards the mushroom ring, “not ours, obviously! But it’s weird that it’s just sitting there, right? You should come with us to check it out.” She tried to wink at Jared, but might just have been blinking oddly at him. The two officers looked at each other and sighed. Eventually, she managed to get an ‘okay’ out of one and a ‘sure, show us’ from the other. “Lead the way Dad---Jare!” She laughed and nudged Jared again. This was his farm, and he should get the honors of binding the two officers to the ring.
The nymph was glad that Dierdre stepped forward with him. His head wasn’t quite screwed on tight enough for dealing with the law. He tried to avoid dealing with the law altogether if he could help it….unless it was his new friend Roland. That guy was cool. This train of thought had Jared mumbling about baby sharks before he was snapped back to the present by an elbow. A smile came over his face once again and he followed her lead. “No no drugs at this party no way no how unless someone else came with some.” He agreed before moving out of the way of the officers so that they could come further onto the property. Jared knew however -with a growing relief- that the officers would never make it to the ring. The stray sod had been spreading for days, the whole field was riddled with the stuff. They were going to lose all sense of what they’d come for in five, four, three- Jared bit his lip when the looks on the officers faces shifted. That was them, they were theirs now. They stopped moving and he took the closest officer's hand. “Here for the party right bud?” He said in a confident tone. He glanced at Deirdre and jerked his head. “Come on bud, let's get you a drink and maybe some face paint.” He handed the officers off to another partygoer and turned to Deirdre with a booming laugh. He glanced at the cop car sitting in the gateway and smirked at her. “Wanna do some doughnuts in town?”
Deirdre hadn't even noticed the stray sod, if she did, she might have said that was her ingenious plan instead. Getting officers into fairy rings could be a real pain in the ass, there were some promises they had to establish first to make sure they didn't blab, and an ever growing list of things they needed to double and triple check. It could be more tedious than it was fun. But stray sod was always fun. They hadn't even made it more than halfway there when confusion sank into their faces. She could imagine their thoughts scrambling around, where were they? How did they get there? Where did they want to go again, and which way was it? Once Jared led her away, Deirdre broke out into raucous laughter. "That was good!" And then she looked to the car, conveniently left on with the keys in the ignition. It was careless of them in retrospect, but Deirdre was sure they didn't expect anyone to be slipping past them and into their car. "Hell yeah!" She nudged Jared along, slipping into the passenger seat. "You drive because I'm bad at it!" She called out to him, happily tapping her fingers along the dashboard. All of this started with a car ride, all of this could end nicely with one too—not that she wanted it to end.
With someone alongside him to urge him on in his whims, Jared had no way of stopping the mess that was likely to be the joyride through town. Whilst he’d felt himself sober enough to drive to get supplies earlier in the day, it had been a good while now dancing and passing through the mushroom circle earlier again hadn’t helped. His mind was full of fluff, and his heart was longing to keep having fun with his new friend. She was everything he didn’t know he’d been missing to the party and now that she was here he wanted to do even more than he had before. Into the driving seat and Jared flipped on all the sirens and he pulled the plug on the police radio so that they wouldn’t have the music blasting from the speakers interrupted by useless petty crime notifications. They were off. The drive down the first path was long but at speed it didn’t take long enough to notice. He drove straight into down and directly to the last location he knew there’d been a vehicle hijacking. His own tractor that time, but this time -as he pulled the handbrake and the car began to swing around, burning rubber in the desired doughnut shape- he called out “no moose statue to hit anymore!”
“DADDY JARED IS THE BEST!!” Deirdre screeched out the open car window. She wasn’t sure who she was talking to, or why she felt the need to say it, but it was true and of that she didn’t argue. She didn’t quite understand what was going on, but she hadn’t really understood all night. First she was at a store, then she was in a truck, then she was topless and now she was in another vehicle. The only thing that mattered was the mushrooms, and her new best friend---daddy---Jared. Then they were spinning, the sound of screeching rubber against the asphalt cutting across the air. “What?” She turned to Jared, “what was that about a moose statue?” She didn’t know what moose had to do with mushrooms, or with theft, but who was she to argue with Jared. "This is fun!" She yelled at him, until her eyes flickered to the clock. It was late, when had it gotten so late? Morgan would worry. And then there was the mushrooms, how had she allowed herself to get inside the fairy ring? Morgan would be mad. Deirdre frowned, and did what any sensible woman would do in her position: jumped out of the spinning car. She rolled across the asphalt, paying no mind to her cuts and scrapes. "I need to go home!" She told Jared, stepping back from the car. "I parked nearby! I'll just drive back!"
One moment she was beside him screaming and laughing and the next she was gone. All Jared had done was blink, and then she’d vanished. He halted the cop car as fast as he could but his reaction times were just not with him that well. By the time he’d slowed to a stop she was on her feet and walked backwards away from him. He didn’t quite understand why she wanted to leave all of a sudden but if she is leaving his top priority was to go back to the party and find something fun to do. He raised a hand and gave her a beaming smile. “NICE MEETING YOU.” he called, and because of the mushroom daze he was in he didn’t give her any more thought. She was leaving and that meant he had to find a new person to have fun with. He drove home for that very reason, not looking back.
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Memoria (pt. Eleven)
Characters: Sam X Claire
Warnings: fluff tons and tons of fluff, angst, talk of self harm, sexual situations….ya know the usual lol
Notes: this is one of my favorite chapters I had alot of fun writing it :)
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Sam stared at himself in the mirror, he was dressed in a simple white tee and jeans, his hair slicked back but falling out of place.
He didn’t look awful…
Oh no even better…
He looked desperate.
What wasn’t to like?
Fuck he was gonna look like a wilting cactus next to a blooming rose taking Claire to dinner.
Closing his eyes he let out a heavy exhale as a sharp pain shot up his leg, this was such a bad idea.
He was gonna look like an idiot.
He was gonna fuck up and lose her forever.
A sharp knock caused him to jump, his attention jerking to the closed door.
“Sam you better stop it, I can feel your self deprecation from here”
He chuckled, her voice an instant ray of sunshine bursting through his storm clouds.
Walking to the door he pulled it open with a smile, Claire had her arms folded across her chest as she cocked an elegant brow at him.
Her eyes widened as she took in his appearance.
“wow..you look..”
He cut her off with a scoff “not sure what your wowing about…i’m..” he gestured to himself in disgust.
She rolled her eyes grabbing his arm to pull him from the bathroom, effectively shutting him up “I’m wowing cuz you’re hot, ya dork”.
He rubbed his arm hoping she couldn’t see the blush creeping across his skin “maybe this isn’t such a good idea…I mean it’s only my second day out…maybe we should just stay here”
He was stammering, his eyes darting around the hallway avoiding her gaze. Claire smiled rubbing his arm gently “Sam, calm down ok” he closed his eyes nodding as she walked him to the living room.
She sat down on the couch pulling him down with her “if you don’t wanna go on a date with me that’s fine”. He wrinkled his nose shaking his head “no…that’s not” he growled dropping his head in his hands.
Claire chuckled rubbing his back “take it easy honey, it’s gonna be fine”
He breathed out a heavy sigh “why do I gotta over think shit”
She smiled running her hands through his hair “it’s normal to be nervous”.
He bounced his left leg nervously, rubbing the back of his neck he stole a quick glance at her before dropping his gaze back to the floor.
“I wish I could just walk out that door with you on my arm, eat at a fancy restaurant, give you the most magical evening of your life…then come home and just…” he shook his head as he trailed off.
She leaned over to kiss his temple “so this is home now?” he shrugged “it’s not like I have anywhere else”
He could’ve punched himself for slinging such cold words at her.
Fuck he was such a dick
She pulled her hands to her lap as she watched him tense up at her retreating touch. He instantly turned to face her grasping her hands, his face almost looked pained “Claire that’s not what I…” she kissed his lips gently. His eyes sliding shut as she caressed his hand with her thumb “I know Sam” she whispered.
“you’re afraid, I get it…and when you get scared you get snippy” she giggled.
“I’m being a whiney asshole” he grumbled “this was my fucking idea and I can’t even man up enough to follow through”.
She frowned, pulling back to look at him “you’re not seriously diminishing your manhood right now?” he snapped his eyes open “tell me I’m wrong, Claire” he growled getting back to his feet “I can’t give you a normal relationship, I can't….give you what you want, what you need…I can’t…” he closed his eyes trying to steady his breathing.
“I can’t keep lashing out at you for my own shortcomings”.
Claire smiled getting to her feet to wrap her arms around him.
“Sam, there not shortcomings…your coping with a lot of trauma, you’re just dealing with it in your own way”. He gave her an exasperated sigh grasping her shoulders to gently push her away “but this isn’t your fault Claire, I shouldn’t be snapping at you…ever…you’ve done nothing but believe in me and everytime I think I’m gaining some ground something small sends me back into my damn shell”.
He runs his hands over his face before gesturing to her “and what’s the first thing I do? Lash out at you cuz it’s easy, cuz I can't….”
She frowned “can’t what?”
He winced rubbing his arm, avoiding her gaze “nothing…”
Claire sighed with a slight nod, it made sense “I get it” she whispered moving in to grasp his hand once more making him shiver as he continued to avoid her eyes.
“You snap at me hoping one day I will stop caring about you, so that I will send you back so you can…punish yourself” he grimaced closing his eyes.
It was all the confirmation she needed.
“Sam, you might as well get that crap out of your head…right now” she breathed, her voice shaking in fear and anger. “Because, It doesn’t matter what you do or how bad it gets…” she grasped his face in her hands forcing him to look at her “I am never going to stop caring about you…never” she said the last with such conviction that Sam couldn’t stop the tear that ran down his cheek.
He gasped leaning forward so that there heads could meet.
“I’m sorry”
“stop apologizing” she whispered.
Sam hugged her tight, “let’s do this”
She smiled “How about we walk out the door first”. He chuckled pulling away as he sniffed wiping his eyes with a deep exhale “that sounds good” nodding she grasped his hand moving to the door.
********************************
Noticing his continued unease Claire decided it was probably best to just go for a walk. Living outside of the city was a blessing, she loved the peace and quiet and right now the solitude was paying off.
Sam stared at the small stretch of forest behind her house a small bike path visible in its center.
His eyes drifted to the overcast sky above, “hope you’re not afraid of getting wet” he grumbled as she moved in beside him.
She giggled “I’m just gonna let that statement slide right past me and counter with, if it rains…” she sent him a wink “no, I’m not afraid of getting wet”.
He gave her a funny look before shaking his head with a deep chuckle “girl, when are you not thinking about sex?”
She laughed “Well you’re a very attractive man, Sam…I just can’t help myself” he smiled grasping her hand as they entered the sparse cluster of trees.
The forest was beautiful, with tall tan trees and light underbrush. Birds sang above them as Sam led Claire to a fallen log surrounded by short mushrooms.
She smiled as they sat down “what’s on your mind Sam?” he smiled rubbing her fingers with his thumb “tell me something about yourself”
She blinked in surprise.
They really hadn’t talked about herself much, she shrugged “uh, I’m 32…I like walking on the beach and playing volleyball” he watched her with a gentle smile, the slight crinkles by his eyes seemed to make him even more handsome in the soft light.
Claire looked away with a blush “anything specific you wanna know?”
He shrugged shifting on the log nervously “I don’t know, I just want to know more about you”.
His eyes suddenly lit up
A wide smile spreading across his face.
“What’s your favorite color?”
She giggled holding his hand up to her lips to place a gentle kiss to his skin.
“gold”
He smiled scooting closer to her “your favorite color is gold?” she nodded. He shifted forward “ok, what’s your favorite animal?”
“Elephant”
He seemed to be getting more and more excited with each answer making her laugh.
“Did you always want to be in your line of work?”
She shook her head “growing up I wanted to be a lifeguard but switched to psychology after my best friends mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia” he nodded “did…do you stay in contact with your parents?” she smiled “ya my mom and dad live in Houston, I try to call em at least once a week”.
His smile fades
“it’s weird not knowing”
She bridged the gap between them leaning against his shoulder “I guess you kind of fell off the map sometime ago…they did a blood test and found nothing about you in the system”
He furrowed his brow “How is that even possible?” she shook her head “I’m not sure, maybe you were able to use your military background to your advantage”.
She frowned “honestly you being a ward of the state, I don’t think they tried very hard”
He shrugged “it’s not a big deal, chances are I’d hate what I found anyway”.
She rubbed his thigh, her mouth opening to say something as a loud crack of thunder caused her to jump. She gasped clinging to his arm as he chuckled, the sky opened up releasing a torrent of rain pouring down around them.
Quickly she pulled away jumping to her feet with a squeal “god it’s so cold” she cried.
He followed her laughing as she turned to hide against his soaked shirt “I thought you didn’t mind getting wet?” he smiled wrapping his arms around her. She nuzzled into his chest laughing against the wet fabric “I don’t… but it just came out of nowhere” she whined.
He pulled her closer, happy to be someone she could seek shelter in.
Sam rested his head on top of hers rubbing her shoulders in attempt to warm her up.
“let’s head back before you freeze to death” he rasped into her wet hair.
Giggling she pulled away from him grabbing his hand to drag him behind her as they ran back toward the house.
The both of them continued to laugh as they finally stumbled to the edge of the trees, Claire snorted covering her mouth as Sam leaned against a tree to catch his breath.
Shit his leg was hurting
But he didn’t care
Her smile was the only pain killer he would ever need.
Another crack of thunder made her jump again her feet slipping in the fresh mud.
Her arms flailed out as she slid backwards. Sam’s fingers wrapped around her arm pulling her back to him, his rapid breathing and deep laughter rubbing his warm chest against her spine, the cold material between them making her gasp.
She leaned her head back against his shoulder with a quiet laugh, his arms loosening around her.
“You ok?”
Turning around in his grasp Claire leaned up to press her lips firmly to his, her fingers raking through his wet hair making it stick up. He moaned gripping her hips as the tree bark scraped against his back in pleasurable stings.
She grasped the back of his head, the rain pouring down their bodies sending small streams of water running between their intertwined lips.
He moved his right hand up to gently grip her neck as his lips pressed in over hers more insistently.
Something about the rain, the woods and the storm raging around them added to the uncontrollable fire building up between them.
It was almost primal
Claire gasped grabbing his face her nails biting his rough skin as her other hand pulled at his now dripping hair a deep groan vibrating up through his chest.
Sam let his large hands run down her body, the wet fabric of her shirt clinging to her skin. He bit at her neck letting his right hand crawl down her thigh lifting it up against his hip.
She gasped, her hot breath puffing out against his cold skin as she gripped the chilled hair at the nape of his neck.
He grunted as she moved against him, his fingers gripping her thigh roughly as he pulled her closer rocking his hips to gently meet hers.
Claire was dying for him to move against her more firmly but she allowed him to set the pace.
A low rumble of thunder rolled through the gray sky as he growled low in his chest letting it vibrate through their joined skin.
The rain slowly ceased bringing a pause to their heated make out session.
Sam moaned leaning his head back against the tree as she ran her hands down his now see through shirt, her cool digits gripping ahold of his leather belt.
She tugged him impossibly closer, her leg sliding back down his hip as he released her.
“So much for taking shelter” she giggled rubbing her face against the soaked fabric gripping his sides.
His breathing was ragged as he panted to the sky “holy shit, god damn”
She laughed at how wrecked he looked…she could only imagine what she looked like.
“Sorry about that” she giggled kissing his chest gently “It’s just…you look really…really good wet”.
He chuckled, his breathing labored “thank you”
She bit her lip looking up to meet his heated pools “are you ok?” he let out a shaky breath before nodding.
Leaning his head back against the tree he took a couple more deep breaths to calm himself before looking down at her again.
“Kinda worried I won’t survive our first time” he chuckled pulling her into a hug.
Claire laughed “I promise not to kill ya” he smiled running his fingers through her wet hair “we really should get back inside before we both get sick”.
She pouted slightly, pulling on the bottom of his shirt so that it peeled away from the skin of his stomach showing the crest of his hip bone.
“what'cha doin sweetheart?” he gasped as she shot him a mischievous smirk.
“oh, sweetheart huh?….I like that”
His brow creased as she bent over pushing her hand to fist his shirt in the center of his chest as she bit his hip bone growling as he let out a loud moan, his hands gripping the tree behind him as she sucked against his cool flesh.
Letting out a breathy moan she scratched her nails down his chest, her teeth digging into him harshly.
“Aaargh shit” he cried out roughly, his right hand running down her back to pull on her shirt “fuck, Claire….take it easy” he rasped. At his slightly pained grunt she pulled away to kiss the now red and purple patch of skin. Smiling in satisfaction she slid back up to meet his hazel eyes.
“sorry” She whispered kissing his lips gently, he chuckled “no your not” she snorted a short laugh against his lips “I couldn’t help it”.
He wrinkled his nose as he laughed “it’s ok…” he rubbed his rough facial hair against her neck his lips pressing over her ear “I liked it” he growled sucking on the lobe as she arched up against him.
*****************************
They returned to the house hand in hand both soaked to the bone.
Sam opened the door for her making her smile.
Once they were inside Sam pulled her to his side kissing her hair, “what do you like to do for fun?”
She smiled “going on walks with you” he dropped his head to his chest blushing as he gently pushed her toward the bathroom.
She giggled opening the door “wanna join me” she purred jokingly at him from around the wood. He smiled “I’ll catch the next one” she smiled softly reaching out to grab his hand pulling him inside the room with her.
“uh…I…Claire?” he stammered nervously eyeing the bathroom.
She shook her head “calm down Sam” she soothed “were not gonna do anything, just…keep me company, please?” her lips crooked up at the question.
He looked at the shower then back at her “do I..?” she hugged him tightly “just sit down and talk to me…that’s all” he nodded.
Taking a seat on the stool in front of the mirror Sam leaned back against the counter “so, uh…what do we talk about?” she shot him a wink as she turned her back to him turning on the shower.
“We can talk about whatever you want” he dropped his gaze to the floor with a rough noise when she slipped her shirt over her head. He was breathing heavy as he sneaked a quick glance at her now scantily clad back.
His mouth dropped open as she slid her pants down to her ankles leaving her clad in nothing but her black bra and panties, he couldn’t contain his loud gasp when she turned around to look at him.
He quickly jerked his head to side slamming his eyes shut.
“you ok?” she whispered
She was giving him an out.
He flinched when her cool hands cupped his face pulling him to look at her.
He nodded, his chest heaving as she moved to straddle his lap “I’m not forcing you to stay here Sam, you can leave if I’m making you uncomfortable ok?” he looked up at her green eyes.
She was worried about him
He sighed leaning forward to wrap his arms around her, the feeling of her soft skin against him was heaven.
She ran her hands through his damp hair “I’m just…I want us to be comfortable around each other ok?” he nodded his head against her chest
“Me to”
He pulled away tapping her hip with his calloused hand ushering her off of him “so…do you have any siblings?” she gave him a knowing smile as she got to her feet heading to the shower.
Too much for one day
Her back faced him once more
Her fingers unhooked her bra letting it hit the floor “no, I’m an only child” she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her panties tugging them down slowly as Sam quickly dropped his gaze.
“What’s your favorite flower?” he rasped as she entered behind the frosted glass.
“I’m actually a fan of succulents”
His face rose at that “what?” he could here her chuckling behind the shower door as steam billowed up around the glass “yeah I never had much of a green thumb so I kinda grew attached to Cacti…I think they’re actually quite beautiful” he stared at her shifting silhouette.
Maybe being a wilting cactus wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
“you ok?”
Her voice shook him out of his thoughts “uh… yeah”
He continued to ask simple questions about her life, each answer had his heart swelling with hope that maybe there was a place for him in her heart.
That he could find peace in her oasis
That they could be happy…together
“Sam?” she called out making him get to his feet clearing his throat “ya?”
She turned to his shadow across the door placing her hand against the glass “hand me a towel please?” he placed his hand over the glass covering hers before sliding down it grabbing the fluffy white towel off the rack.
Opening the door slightly he handed her the towel, her wet fingers running across his. His breath hitched, his fingers tightened around the fabric as she met his tawny gaze around the door.
“What’s on your mind Sam?” she whispered tugging gently on the towel.
He was breathing heavy, his eyes focused on their hands.
“Sam are you ok?”
He swallowed roughly, toeing off his boots which had her furrowing her brow in confusion.
What was he doing?
Pushing her back into the shower, Sam crowded in next to her, his eyes shut as he tossed the towel onto the floor outside of the stall.
“Sam?” she gasped as he reached around her to turn the water back on. The hot jets flattening his hair against his forehead as it ran off his chin. He finally opened his eyes to look at her, his face flushed and nervous as he leaned forward to press his head against hers.
His voice was rough as he stared deep into her eyes.
“undress me”
—————————————
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