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zdunq · 6 years

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Your average Peaky Blinders Episode

Tommy: is very moody

Polly: slaps him and looks gorgeous while doing it

Arthur: shouts for no reason

John: is angry because he doesn’t understand what’s happening

Ada: is done with life but also just tryna stop everyone from killing each other

Finn: looks worried

Johnny Doggs: is incredibly helpful and wholesome

Charlie: is confused but uhhh doesn’t really care

Esme: says something true but in an annoying way

Linda: *deep breath* JESUS

Lizzie: I hate Tommy

Tommy: *is not a twat for 5 seconds*

Lizzie: actually-

Michael: acts like a twat but also seems cute doing it so you forgive him

Polly: *enters room*

Michael: siggggggggggghhhhhhhh

Grace: tammyy shelbe

Tatiana: *finds new ways to trigger Tommy* YOUR WIFE HAHAHHA

Alfie: *makes an uncomfortable amount of eye contact* “you, yeah, you are a fackin silly littew boy mate”

Tommy: looks pretty and acts so sad that you forgive him for everything and just wanna wrap him in a blanket

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zdunq · 6 years

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Peaky Blinders Characters if they had YouTube channels:

John & Finn: Gaming Videos, Finn is quiet and winces every time John shouts “WHAT THE FUCK IS ‘E DOING!?? OH MY GOD!!”

Ada: Videos about feminism, and recent politics, she does occasional Game Of Thrones reviews with Freddie and everyone hates him because he shouts at the screen.

Michael: Analyses the news, explains what it all means for us mortals, sometimes John comes and annoys him in the background, and Michael sighs and closes his eyes.

Arthur: One of those absolutely mental conspiracy theory channels, does a video with Tommy where Tommy disproves all of them and Arthur deletes his account.

Esme: Prank videos (tragic dubstep music in the intro) where she runs up to people and throws stuff at them and then runs away laughing, then its just her standing in the hall way looking slightly guilty as John has an argument with the man she attacked at the door. She does really inaccurate tarot readings and horoscopes for people. She does one for Tommy and points at the card “This one means you’re a twat” and then zooms in on his Disappointed Cillian Murphy™ face.

Linda: She starts telling you a story about her life and then at the end of the video she reveals that it was about Jesus.

May: “Hello, and welcome to A S M R May.”

Lizzie: Amazing calligraphy, really aesthetically pleasing videos, most of the time she’s writing “Fuck Tommy” in cursive.

Tatiana: Its just her doing crazy shit. She never speaks. She just films herself chugging an entire bottle of Vodka, or Playing Russian Roulette, or Climbing on to the roof or stabbing her uncle in the hand with a fork at the dinner table, or Breaking into Tommy’s house where he blindly shoots at her and then shout “WHAT THE FUCK”

Grace: Grace does makeup to an super human level, more of the face art kind, but people in the comments say she looks like she’s being threatened by someone off camera, inevitably, Grace becomes a meme. Grace also has another channel where she make True Crime videos, but NO ONE knows its her.

Polly: Poll makes incredibly elegant videos about style, and being a woman of substance. She gets featured in those short artsy documentaries, and no one really knows who she is, but she is a sensation! To give you an example of one of her videos, its just her, sitting alone in the woods, (like the place she was with Aberama) she smiles into the camera and says “Listen to all that fucking silence.”

Alfie: Alfie Solomons, would so obviously be a magician. And I’m talking about like to a David Blaine level ok. He walks up to folk on the street (and btw, this is a modern day hc but he’s still wearing the same clothes) does an amazing card trick that ruins their minds and the camera zooms in as they watch him walk away in awe. Once he uploaded a video entitled “Tommy Shelby wiv a shocked expression” but Tommy threatens someone at YouTube so its taken down the same day.

And finally:

Tommy: Tommy hired a camera crew to come and film his daily life working at the Shelby Company Limited to promote his business and,, well what can I say it turned into The Office.

Tommy: Hello My name is Thomas Shelby and today..

Tommy: *looking awkwardly off camera*

*The camera pans round to a fight breaking out in the other room*

Lizzie from the other room standing on top of her desk to avoid to brawl: TOMMY YOU BETTER COME IN HERE AND SORT THIS SHIT OUT!!!

Tommy: *looks in the camera and sighs, before going to join in the fight, afterwards he walks painfully back to his desk: “Just a bit of shenanigans that’s all, at Shelby Company Limited” he holds eye contact for a moment before putting his head in his hands*

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