zazzander
Overthinking Things
she / they | call me Zaz
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Cult Tips for AFTG writers
notes from the resident ex-cult pastor
If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.
When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.
I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks
Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.
You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.
On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.
There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.
Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; also Stockholm Syndrome; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.
Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.
Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.
Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and stockholm. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.
OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!
EDIT AGAIN: you don’t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.
Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡
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We've confirmed in the new book that the bar has no alcohol, so I guess it's only used when the US team lives there.
That part has me asking questions, specifically when because what makes the most sense is during the summer. Do the Ravens go on a training tour? Because otherwise they'd have to go home and we know they don't do that.
What is really throwing me is why the Ravens have a bar, of all things. These people are athletes under a brutal regime. When would they get to drink, much less recover from a hangover? It seems like such a random thing for Tetsuji to condone.
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It hurts so much to see the remnants of Kevin and Jean because Jean was so so so in love with Kevin and he feels so hurt and betrayed but he still trusts Kevin so much, he still wants him to come and do the interview with him, he knows Kevin wouldn’t have sent him to Jeremy if he was dangerous, and Kevin is so gentle with Jean in a way he isn’t with anybody else.
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I drew the shitpost I made about Jean sassing Kevin. Hope u enjoy.
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if regulus is anyone coded in aftg he's Riko, I'm sorry to tell you
kevin day & jean moreau are so sirius & regulus black coded i fear
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neil josten is the not like other girls mc of all time this guy learned how to play a new position in a sport in an year and got offered a collegiate contract??? he has red hair and blue eyes that he hides because (gross oversimplification but) it's 'too noticeable'. his boyfriend hates everyone but him. about more than half of his teammates are in love with him but man does nawt give af. he has the fashion taste of a racoon i rescued from the trash. if we ignore his own uh mafia background his bf's homoerotic codependent buddy has mafia ties so that makes him adjacently mafia related enough to be called a mafia boss.
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He's required to live in the barracks because he's part of the legion, but he probably visits them now and then
guys do we think octavian lives w his parents in new rome
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The fact this was Damian's go-to fake name is killing me
"Quick think of a fake name!"
"my brother's first name and my other brother's last name. I'm a genius."
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Was the perfect court an Olympic thing? I thought it was just about them being the best players
Was going to draw my future headcanon of the surviving perfect court (they get chess pieces tattoos while drunk during their olympic years, fact they are deeply mortified at) and i just realized.
How the fuck did Riko think Jean was going to be part of his perfect court when he's not american. He's french. He would not be able to play for america in the olympics, because he's not from the country. did riko moriyama genuinely forget jean was from france and no one corrected him. Did people genuinely forget jean was french because he spoke that little. How.
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Has anyone actually tried playing Exy? like would anyone actually want to try it? I want to play it so bad. It seems like all you’d need is a lacrosse stick and a racquet ball. Pls someone message me so we can test it. I’m desperate.
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Remember folks that the Southern district and the Western, Eastern, etc districts in exy probably have their own separate banquets. The teams in that district revolving who hosts. The teams from other districts would only meet up in the finals. The Ravens attending the southern banquet in TFC happened because they joined the southern district that year.
It's why after Riko broke his hand Kevin had to drive to Wymack when the Foxes were at their own Winter Banquet and didn't just walk over from the Raven table to the Foxes table or walk to the hotel or something.
And it's why the Foxes and the Ravens don't know about what went down at the winter banquet with the Trojans (Jeremy) cause they weren't there.
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i always think about how andrew said that kevin doesn't dance anymore. implying that at one point he did.
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Rereading the Havamal, and...y'all, it's literally just Odin telling his villain origin story:
"I once got drunk and it made me look stupid. I once spoke in haste and it made me look stupid. I once trusted a deceptive woman and it made me look stupid. So in order to never look stupid again, I became a powerful wizard.
Unfortunately, knowing the minds of men better than they do is a terribly lonely existence, so take my advice and avoid doing literally everything I did and you'll be content in life.
(Did get some fucking awesome magic powers out of the whole ordeal though)."
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You cannot tell me The Ravens wouldnt do the Syracuse thing when they score: turn all the lights blood red.
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jegulily is like- Regulus believing wholeheartedly he is not capable of love and suddenly finding himself not one, but two people he'd move skies and earth for.
And it's so overwhelming he doesn't believe it's real sometimes.
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im thinking about that one scene in tsc where lucas is like "unsurprising the ravens would recruit a gangsters son" (referring to neil) and cody quickly reminds him no one knew who neil was when he went to evermore so SURELY the ravens didn't know.
and jean is out there whistling unsuspiciously in the background BUT THEN IT'S GONNA BE REVEALED SOON JEAN WAS A GANGSTER'S SON TOO. what the hell are they gonna think 😭 "i'd have two nickels but it's weird that it happened twice" energy... god help jean
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