howard    ,     it’s bateman   .   PATRICK BATEMAN  .    you’re my lawyer so i think you should know   ..   I’VE KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE   !     some girls in the apartment uptown ..   uh  ,    some homeless people maybe five or ten  ..   um   ..    an nyu girl i met in central park  .   I LEFT HER IN A PARKING LOT BEHIND SOME DONUT SHOP  .      i killed bethany  ,   my old girlfriend  ,    with a nail gun  ..   and some man  ..   uh some old faggot with a dog last week  .      i killed another girl with a chainsaw   ,     i had to  ,    SHE ALMOST GOT AWAY   !    and uh  ..  someone else there i can’t remember maybe a model   ,    but she’s dead too  .   AND PAUL ALLEN  !    i killed paul allen with an axe in the face    ,      his body is dissolving in a bathtub in hell’s kitchen  .      

i don’t want to leave anything out here   .     i guess i’ve killed maybe twenty people  ,   MAYBE FORTY .     i have tapes of a lot of it   ,    uh  .. some of the girls have seen the tapes  .      i even  ,     um  …   I ATE SOME OF THEIR BRAINS  ,    and i tried to cook a little  .     tonight i   ,   uh   ,     I JUST HAD TO KILL A LOT OF PEOPLE   !     and i’m not sure i’m gonna get away with it this time   .    i guess i’ll uh  ..   i mean   ,    ah  ..    i guess i’m a pretty uh   -   i mean  I GUESS I’M A PRETTY SICK GUY  !       so    ,     if you get back tomorrow    ,      i may show up at harry’s bar   ,    so you know  ,     KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN .

ah i miss pat 

      i was a queen , and you TOOK AWAY MY CROWN. a wife , and you KILLED MY HUSBAND. a mother ,       and you  DEPRIVED ME OF MY CHILDREN !  my blood alone remains . TAKE IT , but do not make me       suffer long … 

                                     long live the queen of france ! 

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH, yada yada yada. i’m gonna keep this short, because let’s be real, nobody ever wants to read this shit. this is a formal THANK YOU for being here, for keeping up with my shit  &&  overall for making my day just a little bit brighter whenever i see a new follower, a random thingy in my tag or a new private message. let alone all those freaking FANTASTIC starters you people write for me. you bet your BONY, LITTLE ASSES i’m internally screaming whenever a notification pops up, really. i‘m just deeply grateful. to show my undying appreciation, i thought i’d bless you guys with my awesome, PRACTICALLY NON-EXISTENT photoshop skills. so, congratulations, fuckers, here is my shitty ICON GIVEAWAY.

here is how this is going to go down. THREE PEOPLE will get a SET OF 100 ICONS each. you must be FOLLOWING ME, since it’s for my followers, obviously. also, you must be a rp blog, duh. if you have a cat or dog, please pet it for me. same goes for dragons. other than that, LIKES AND REBLOGS will count. the giveaway will end MAY 17, 2016. winners will be chosen via random.org and messaged via tumblr instant messenger so you can tell me how you want your icons to look like. ICON EXAMPLES can be found below:

☢

munday questions !   /    not accepting .

☢ how many active muses do you have?

omfg ... a few, i think? haha. currently my most active one is patrick, but i also have arthur stuart from velvet goldmine (  @glamwriter . also with christian as his fc .  ) , alex law from shallow grave (  @fickleblood  ) , my horror / vampire oc  (   @toxiiique   )   &  poseidon from greek mythology, which i’m still working on his blog but (  @tridentsrage  )  !  also i have this gta vice city / scarface based oc i’m currently working on ( more like i’ve been working on her for the past 2~3 months and i’m just too lazy to actually finish the blog )  that has natalie portman as her fc, most specifically in the closer movie where she had the pink wig so ya ! (: oh ! i also have mark renton from trainspotting (  @shitescottish  ) , which isn’t as active as the other blogs but i do plan on coming back to him real soon omfg i’ve just been trash but i dnt wanna leave my baby. 

random fact that the role of pat almost went to living god ewan mcgregor, but he only didn’t take it bc apparently king christian asked him not to bc he wished the role

DEAR DIARY, I want to k i l l and you have to believe it’s for more than selfish reasons. More than a spoke in my menstrual cycle. You have to believe me !! Seventeen is the last year Mom buys the Twinkies. When you make the jump from working weekends at Pizza Hut to thirty years at I.B.M., you lose something. Not innocence – POWER. Christ, I can’t explain it, but I’m allowed an understanding that my parents and these Remington University assholes have chosen to ignore. I understand I must stop Heather !! Betty Finn was a TRUE FRIEND and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatchdogs and Diet Cokeheads. Killing Heather’d be like offing the Wicked Witch of the West. Or is it East? West! I sound like a fucking psycho. Tomorrow I’ll be kissing her aerobicized ass but tonight let me dream of a world without Heather. 

                                      A world where I am free.

For every ➰ I get, I'll reveal a muse that I played in the past

Alternatively: Send 💭 for a muse I wanted to write for but did not.

when u have to study a monologue and all u wanna do is ur drafts 

Chanel Oberlin + outfits

you guys should add me on skype hey ! <3

       ‘    there’s no smell in my house other than dior, pumpkin.   ’    he spoke, a forced, yet polite smile gracing his lips as, believe it or not, he was trying. patrick wouldn’t lie - for several, countless moments he had thought about how evelyn’s blood would look over newspapers on his floor, and yet he couldn’t . not when he’d be made the prime suspect had such occasion ever happened. and then... the wedding. oh, of course she had to mention their wedding.    ‘   right, the wedding, uh... it’s not gonna happen, evelyn. not right now. i’m very busy at work, i can’t make time up for anything else right now.    ’ 

        (X) . —- ‘ what   scent   is   that? ’   exaggerated   breathing   is   inserted   with   a   swirl   of mixed   wine   at   the   table.  ‘  it   smells   like   those  things  that   the  cleaning  ladies  leave  in  the house   ….  a.k.a   DISGUSTING ‘  would  she  behave  this way  if  she knew??  the blonde  could  only   offer   a  pout  and  a  shake  off  her   head. ‘  you  need  to  try  even   after  the  wedding. ‘

@yuppiedead

send me ‘Bilingual’ and a question for one of my muses and they will reply in a different language.

bonus points if the asker knows what language the answer is in.

                                       ’ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵃˢᵗˀ ’ ‘ ʷᵉ ᵈᵒᶰ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ ’

            PATRICK & EVELYN BATEMAN

@yuppiedead &&. @nctimportant