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Text
a pair of hearts (j.yh x reader)
pairing: jeong yunho x gn! reader
genre: mutual pining, friends to (implied) lovers, fluff fluff and more fluff
warnings: alcohol consumption? nobodys super drunk tho, no pronouns used, reader is mentioned to wear a dress once
wc: 3.9k
note: inspired by my friend who wanted to get drunk but didn't so that she could drive me home bc she could tell i wasn't vibing. i tried my best to edit/proofread if u find any mistakes lemme know ill fix it up.
you scrunch your face in distaste as the alcohol burns down your throat. a gag rises in your throat but you push it down, biting into the lime that brings welcome relief.
“that shit tastes like soap.” you whine, glaring at the bottle of tequila as if it had launched a personal attack on you.
the next person reaches for a card and you fold your arms in front of you where you lay, stomach down on the carpet. with a huff, your head drops down to your arms and your eyes flutter closed.
unknown to you a concerned pair of eyes follow your movements from their place on the couch across the room. yunho is nursing a glass of water, excluding himself from the game in favour of sobering up.
“can we move outside now?” wooyoung suggests for the fifth time. a groan leaves your lips as - for the first time tonight - everyone agrees with him.
as the group stands to go outside, you don't move from your place on the floor, lifting your head to see empty glasses kicked over and forgotten cards strewn across the yellowing carpet.
the music seems louder now that the room has emptied and it causes your head to pound. you curse silently at your own behaviour.
you really did want to have a good time tonight, but as the first drop of alcohol hit your tongue, any energy you might’ve had at the beginning of the night dissipated.
with a groan, you push yourself upwards with your arms, sitting up with your legs folded, looking around the room tiredly. the velvet of your dress rests softly over your knees, the skin of your legs glowing slightly blue beneath the lit christmas tree.
you take in the speaker; still blasting music despite the group's departure, the empty chairs strewn about the room; all of which are surrounded by empty cans and glasses, telling of how intoxicated the rest of your friends already are.
finally your eyes come to rest on the couch, mild surprise shoots through you, your heart jumping, as you finally notice yunho, still sitting on the couch.
having been keeping his eye on you, he immediately noticed your gaze on him, giving you a warm smile.
you briefly wonder why he didn't follow the rest of the group outside, your heart beating faster at the thought that he stayed for you.
dismissing the thought quickly, you push yourself up onto your knees, then onto your feet. smiling back up at yunho, you carefully navigate the carpet of cans, glasses, cards and food as you make your way to the couch.
with a sigh, you flop down onto the couch, close enough to yunho to rest your head on his shoulder, his knitted brown sweater soft on your cheek.
“yun-ah…” you whine and he chuckles quietly, reaching over you for the fluffy, grey blanket resting on the couch. leaning back, he pulls the blanket over the both of you causing you to press yourself into his side even more.
his breath hitches at your closeness, however the alcohol inhibiting your senses makes certain you don't notice this movement.
“yes (y/n)?” he asks, his voice almost a whisper.
“wanna get out of here…” you mumble into his shoulder, curling the blanket around your fingertips and pulling it closer to your chin. you keep your voice low, afraid to break the bubble you two have created, sinking into the couch cushions together.
“i know,” he admits, reaching an arm around your shoulders and rubbing your arm comfortingly.
you squint up at him in confusion, your eyebrows scrunching. it takes everything in yunho to keep himself from reaching out to smooth your furrowed brow.
“been watching you, pretty,” he confesses with a surge of confidence. after registering his own words, his face flushed, red creeping up his neck and the tips of his ears.
your heart sits in your throat at yunho's admission, alcohol still clouds your mind and you think you must've imagined his endearment.
“you want me to take you home?” he asks, wanting to move on from his previous comment as fast as possible, especially considering your lack of response.
“haven't you been drinking?” you remind him, shifting around to pull at your phone from where it sits, beneath your leg.
“not for a while, i stopped drinking at like eight. i can be okay to drive by eleven? eleven thirty?” he takes another sip of his water as if to prove his point to you, but you only pout.
“why'd you stop? are you not having a good time?” you poke his chest with both questions and your phone finally comes free.
yunho's chest warms at your concern, especially considering you yourself were not having a good time. in fact, yunho had noticed your energy levels were lower than usual upon your arrival. after your first shot of the night, your demeanour dropped once more.
“no, i'm having a good time, you're not though.” he points out and you whine into his shoulder.
“having a great time… now.” you unlock your phone and open tiktok, once again pushing yourself further into the warmth of yunho's body.
“now… that you're not drinking and you're left alone?” he teases and you snort a small laugh at the picture his words paint in your mind.
“not alone, with you.” your free hand, not scrolling through your phone, reaches around for yunho's hand where it still rests on your arm.
pulling his arm forward so his hand rests on your lap, you turn his hand over so his palm is open to you.
yunho's heart is beating in his throat, his face feels hot. you begin to play with his fingers and he holds back the whine that wants to leave his lips at your touch.
you tilt your screen towards yunho so he can watch over your shoulder, despite the music blasting and preventing either of you from being able to hear the phone properly.
your eyes flit to the time, showing nine fifty-seven. a groan leaves your throat before you can stop it.
yunho notices your impatience and smiles to himself.
“(y/n)-ah…” he calls and you hum in response, eyes still on your screen. with the knowledge that you're still fairly far under the influence, yunho finds his courage and rests his hand over yours around your phone.
you turn your neck to look up at him, raising a brow at his sudden move. his cheeks burn for the nth time tonight - as do yours - yet he continues.
squeezing your hand with his own, your phone screen goes dark.
“why'd you do that?” you mumble in protest and he shrugs.
“you weren't paying attention to me.” is his only explanation and you laugh in disbelief.
yunho's face lights up, an affectionate smile resting on his lips.
“did you watch that new special you were excited about?” he asks and a sullen pout takes over your face.
“no, i wanted to rewatch the original show first, but they took it off of my streaming service.” with your phone turned off, you drop it in your lap and turn your attention completely to yunho who was humming thoughtfully at your words.
“what streaming service is it on?” he probes and you bring your hand up to trace the knitted patterns on his sweater.
“amazon i think, but i had to cancel my subscription a few months ago.” you try not to sound too ungrateful or whiney, your hand movements continuing absent-mindedly.
yunho thinks he must look like a fool, a blushing mess as his face feels hotter as the seconds pass.
“i have- i have amazon.” he says with no further explanation.
“hm?” you prompt, still focusing your attention on playing with his shirt.
“i mean we could… you could… well, we could watch it together?” his statement is not a question, but his inflection suggests otherwise.
“really?” you finally bring your attention from his shirt, lifting your head from his shoulder to look him in the eyes.
with your innocent eyes shining up at him, tired, but swelling with affection and fondness, yunho finds himself choking on his words. afraid that if he speaks, his voice will come out shaky, he gives a small nod in lieu of a verbal response and your smile widens.
“okay, but you know they only start at the new series, right?” you warn and he nods again, this time huffing out a laugh.
“yeah? why don't you tell me about the old seasons then?”
so you do. you rest your head back on yunho, cheek to his chest, faces warm and a pair of hearts beating faster than normal, and you explain the plot of each season that yunho won't get to see.
yunho practices active listening throughout your explanation, nodding and humming in response, gasping when it’s appropriate, even asking questions about the lore and history of the world.
with every gasp he lets out, every question he asks, you can feel your heart grow bigger and bigger. you would think that a big heart means you have room for everyone in your heart, but that's not true. at least not for you. because for you, yunho had rooted himself deep in your heart, and there was no room for anyone else.
your tangent was interrupted when a sharp ringing cut through the air. finding your forgotten phone hiding in the tangled blanket, you turn it over to see a reminder to take your tablets.
“did you bring them with you?” yunho's voice grabs your attention again, and you swipe the alarm away, turning back to him.
“i took them before i left.” you look back at your phone, checking the time again only to find that as you ranted about your show to yunho, over an hour had passed.
“eleven eleven, make a wish.” there was a teasing lilt to his voice as he too took note of the time.
but, looking up at yunho and his playful smile, his arm around you, your head on his chest and his hand in your lap you thought that if this was your life, you didn't need to make a wish.
the alcohol had started to wear off now, having been just over an hour since you'd had anything to drink.
yunho on the other hand, had been drinking water and snacking on spring rolls for the past three hours.
“shall we get you home now?” if yunho noticed your all but lovesick expression, he didn't say anything.
yunho simply writes off your affection as a result of the alcohol running through you which gives him the courage to tap your cheek affectionately in a gesture for you to sit up.
your cheeks went up in flames as you separated from yunho's side for the first time in about an hour. you hold back your whine at the loss of his warmth and instead stand from the couch.
you turn and hold out your hands for yunho and he raises a brow. despite his scepticism, he grips your hands and lets you try to lift him.
yunho moves easily from the couch at your first pull and you frown up at him.
“okay well you could've resisted a little. you didn't even try to make it seem realistic.”
“what do you mean? i didn't do anything, you're just that strong, really!” his tone is incredulous and you roll your eyes even as a smile spreads across your face.
“you couldn't just humour me? i could pick you up, im strong enough.” you state firmly and he shrugs.
“i’ve been taught it's bad to lie. now go get your stuff.” he places his hands on your shoulders, spinning you around and nudging you in the direction of your bag.
you reach through your bag checking you've got everything, phone, wallet, headphones, charger. deciding if anything else had been left, you could pick it up another day, you sling your bag over your shoulder.
turning back around, you find yourself alone in the room. you consider heading outside to say goodnight to everyone, but a wave of exhaustion washes over you again at the thought of rejoining the group, and you opt instead to message your close friends goodnight.
you pull out your phone and open messages, searching for the groupchat with your closest friends as you walk over to the front door. it had been propped open to allow for easy access to party goers and a cool, midnight breeze was sweeping through the entrance.
you lean against the wall next to the doorway, just out of the way of the entrance, avoiding any goosebumps that could be caused by the wind.
as you type out your message, yunho comes back into the house from the back door, tossing his keys into the air and catching them again.
“ready to go?”
“are you sure you wanna leave early with me?” you wonder, once again. you feel bad he hadn't been drinking with the others, instead staying inside and coddling you just because you weren't feeling it.
“(y/n) i just spent the last hour and a half sitting on a couch with you while everyone parties outside, i don't know what else i can do to show you that you are who i want to spend my time with.” he affirms, but you say nothing.
conveniently, the hem of your clothing becomes very interesting. you look down, picking at the seam as if you can't feel him approach you.
“besides, i didn't spend the last three hours not drinking just so i could end up not driving you home.” you huff out a laugh, still playing with the velvet that hangs around your legs.
yunho reaches out and places a hand on your shoulder, however you are still unable to meet his eyes with your heart swelling, cheeks hot, blood pumping loudly in your ears.
suddenly you wish you'd waited in the doorway maybe the breeze rushing through the door frame would've aided in cooling your body down.
“i told them all you said goodbye and that i was taking you home. didn't think you'd feel up to braving the masses again.” he places his large hand on the small of your back and leads you out the front door.
“you make me sound like a loser.” you complain, letting him shuffle you to his car that sits at the end of the driveway.
“not a loser. just sleepy. hm?” he reaches past you to open the car door for you. you throw your bag to the floor first, then, finding yourself still a little off balance, you grip the centre console with one hand to aid your entrance into the car.
the warmth of his hand doesn't leave your back until you settle into your seat when he finally pulls away he closes your door and disappears from your side.
you watch him through the windscreen as he rounds the car. his dark hair rests on his forehead just above his eyes, shining in the moonlight, looking softer than the blanket you'd been wrapped in half of the night.
his cheeks were flushed and while it was probably from the cold, you could only hope that maybe, the red in his face and neck was an indicator of an effect that you might have on him.
he closes his own car door behind him and smiles at you from his place in front of the wheel. you give a weak smile in return, your head lolling to the side, unable to keep holding your neck up as it nears midnight.
the drive seemed fast as you dozed in the passenger seat, the late night talk shows on the radio droning on and on putting you in a tired trance.
yunho had to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road, knowing that if he glanced over at your sleeping frame, he wouldn't be able to pull his gaze away.
all too soon, he was pulling into the carpark underneath your apartment building, parking in the visitor section.
“is your roommate home?” he asks and you mumble an incoherent response, eyes still closed.
“jagi… are you awake?” he reaches a hand over, resting it on your shoulder, his warmth spreading over your body once more.
“no.” you say, leaning into his touch.
“no?”
“mm mm.” you hum with a minuscule shake of your head.
“ah okay.” is all he says before exiting the car and closing his door.
in a split second, yunho is at your door, the night breeze sweeping over you and his body leaning over you to unbuckle your seatbelt. you can't tell if the goosebumps prickling at your skin are from the wind, or from the proximity of the man above you.
“come on, time to get inside.” his hand rests on your cheek and jaw and you peek an eye open.
“will you stay? don't want you driving home so late alone.” yunho's smile makes your chest hurt, his eyes scrunching and smile lines creasing on his cheeks.
“okay sweetheart, i'll stay.” a smile of your own makes its way to your face and you lean forward into him, allowing him to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you out of the car and to your feet.
leaning into his side, he places one arm around your shoulders and grabs your bag using his free arm. he throws your bag over his shoulder and closes the car door, locking it and shoving his keys in his back pocket.
“keys in my bag yun,” you mention. exhaustion seeps from your pores and you let yunho support your weight almost completely, simply focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.
despite your whole body weight being placed upon yunho along with your bag, yunho walks you both into the building, up the elevator and to your apartment door with no complaints.
as you reach your own door, a relieved sigh falls from you and you leave yunho's side to lean against the wall while he rummages through your bag for the keys.
when his fingers brush against the telling seahorse keychain, he hooks the keyring on his index finger and pulls them out. with ease and familiarity he unlocks the door and pushes it open.
you duck under his arm to enter the apartment before he's even fully opened the door and he chuckles at your eagerness.
locking the door behind him, he leaves the keys in the deadlock and puts the chain across.
while his back is turned you make your way through your apartment, heading straight for your bedroom.
“(y/n)?” he calls out for you when he turns back to the empty living area. you call out to him from your bedroom and when he enters behind you he can see you at your linen closet, pulling out spare pillows and blankets.
your own bed looks hurriedly made, the top blankets pulled over, however the lumps underneath suggest that the sheets below the top layer have not been as carefully fixed.
“don't look at that.” you mutter, pushing a pillow into his chest as you pass him on your way out of the room.
he grabs the pillow, hugging it to his middle, turning on his heel and following you back out into your living area, feeling a bit like an overgrown puppy as he trails you through your house again.
in the living room, you finish setting up the couch with the spare blankets before turning back to him.
“will this be okay? or you can take the bed and i can take the couch” immediately he's shaking his head at you, with two large strides he's at your side, placing his pillow on the couch conclusively.
“if the other option was a couch made of rocks i still wouldn't take your bed from you.” he ushers you back towards your bedroom.
“you're so dramatic, the couch is comfy enough.” you whine and he laughs, pushing past you into your bedroom and pulling the covers on your bed back. his earlier suspicions are confirmed when he finds your second sheet scrunched up in the middle of your bed.
choosing not to comment on the mess of a bedspread, yunho turns to you, gripping your shoulders gently and spinning the both of you around so the back of your knees hit your bed. you huff playfully at his actions, which he also ignores in favour of pushing down on your shoulders, prompting you to sit on the edge of the mattress.
“if that’s true, i'll be fine to sleep on it then hm?” you don't respond to him, a pout resting on your lips as he crouches in front of you.
“what are you doing yun?” you swing your legs forward and back slightly before he stops your movements with a gentle yet firm grip.
yunho doesn’t answer, instead he smooths his hands down your calf and unties the laces on your left shoe, ignoring the pitchy sound you release in surprise, yunho slips the shoe off with minimal effort.
focusing his attention on your right shoe next, yunho misses the look in your eyes as you gaze down at the man undoing your laces for you. you think you could cry at the sight, unable to make sense of his behaviour tonight, but your heart feels full.
finally standing, yunho pushes on your shoulders and you follow his lead as he lays you down, petulant frown morphing into a sleepy smile at the teddy bear of a man above you.
he pulls your blanket up around your shoulders and tucks it in tightly beneath your neck and around your shoulders. another cute smile spreads across his face as he takes in your frame, wrapped up in the ocean blue of your blanket, blinking sleepily up at him.
“yunnie?” he crouches down once more to be face to face with you and his hand comes to rest on your cheek.
“hm?”
“jagi?” you ask, finally finding the courage to clarify whether or not you had imagined the term of endearment in your sleepy state.
yunho swallows, face hot as it always seems to be around you.
“yeah. yunnie?” he fires back and you let out a weak, tired laugh.
“touche.” yunho smiles warmly and your eyes close.
he takes a deep breath, pulling all the courage from every crevice of his body, leans over, and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
assuming you're too far into your sleepy state to respond, he lets out a sigh and begins to stand, only to be stopped by your hand shooting out and gripping his neck.
he lets out a small yelp of surprise as you pull him back down and press a hard kiss to his cheek.
his knees go weak, legs wobbling slightly and his heart leaps into his throat at your affection. recovering from the surprise, he opens his eyes to see yours open again and searching his face as if trying to see inside and find out what he’s thinking.
“we'll talk about this tomorrow, hm? get some sleep.” he leaves his own, softer kiss on your cheek, before disappearing from your line of sight. shortly after he’s left your field of vision, you can hear your bedroom door click softly closed.
despite your racing heart, and your bubbling excitement for the following morning, your eyes flutter closed and you finally let sleep overtake you.
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The meaning of 'Jeong'
☔ pairing: yunho x f!reader
☔ genre: comfort, fluff, angst
☔ summary: jeong (정/情) - the intimate and warm feeling, the closeness and affection arising from one's relationship with another person.
☔ wordcount: 5.8k
☔ warnings/tags: stress, a lot of work stress, burnout, disregard for own health, language, a little arguing, yunho driving, yunho singing, business, office, implied office disrespect, no need for words when yunho knows, knight in a shining automobile, snow and rain, on the verge of a breakdown, starry night, unedited, lmk if anything else~
☔ taglist: @doom-fics @legohwa @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven
☔ network tags: @k-labels @ateezlovenet @kflixnet
☔ a/n: hello there, sometimes we are in need of some yunfort~ warmest hugs, and much love! All reblogs, comments, thoughts, notes appreciated~
Thank you so much Sky for ideating with me, inspiring me, and fueling first my San, and then my Yunho brainrots <3 would not have happened without you~
It seemed that no matter what you did, everything served to further agitate you - another penny in the bottle of emotions that was threatening to overflow if you as much as hinted at your utter exhaustion. With all your might you wanted to convince yourself that this was temporary, you were trying your best and that no matter what happened, it all would end up being for the better. But sometimes, too much was just what it was. Too much.
Your troubles had wounded themselves tightly into an impossible knot, weighing you down until you were in a hopeless crawl, barely sentient and resorting to existing on autopilot just so you could avoid tearing up in a public place. You were not about to give your colleagues the sadistic satisfaction. With hefty heaps of sarcasm and barely concealed impatience, you waded through meeting after meeting, discussing projects that had backlogs larger than your anger. Somehow, as the day progressed, what you had already deemed to be a ‘not so good day’ had managed to one, two, triple-up itself.
First, you were notified, twenty minutes before the official launch of a function update in an internal, company-wide application, that there was a severe bug found, and the release would have to be delayed until further notice. Nothing new for a product manager to hear, but considering that you had just spent two hours in a metaphorical grill with your own senior manager, as well as the director of the department, you were not about to ‘not take things to heart’. The pressure only built as you were pinging person after person, with your dual monitor glowing from all the messaging windows, fighting against the torrent of your subordinates’ uncontrollable procrastination, all an attempt to reconfigure task assignment to fit in the same sprint. You cursed the ‘agile’ framework time and time again as you upped the severity on at least seven story points for your team, and hesitantly, transferred a hefty number to yourself.
This was a never-ending cycle. One which you would never break no matter how hard you tried. Such was your job; at least that was the excuse you gave it, since the monetary compensation was good enough to be motivated to put up with was clearly draining. In calls from early morning until late in the evening. Constantly juggling everyone’s workload and having to keep your finger on the professional pulses of at least fifty people, globally. You were no stranger to having meetings at awkward hours of the day, either. As you watched your colleagues beginning to pack up and leave for home, chatting away about their families, or about some new restaurant that opened in the area, or about some sports game, you realised you were completely deflated. Looking at your calendar, there was only one meeting – with partners in the US, to go, but it felt like an impossibly daunting task. Exhaustion was weighing heavy on your eyes and tension in your neck made it impossible to sit comfortably. But you still did it. Still sat there, in your office chair, accompanied by the squadron of chronic overtime workers whose heads were dotted across the floor as far as your eye could see, and pretended like it was not nearing nine o’clock at night.
You had promised your boyfriend that you would stop drinking coffee at weird hours, him having been horrified at how you could handle the bitter beverage, while you would pretend you did not see him sneak sweetener into his mocha. But with both of you getting busier and busier, and with you additionally trying to drown out the noise that came with not seeing him as much as you would have wanted, you slipped into your routinely coffee machine visits. The rumble of the artificial barista as it brewed up your only source of energy was soothing – the one sound in the workplace that did not pose a threat to your mental health, nor to your growing headache. Every sip was a temporary lull in an otherwise chaotic corporate fiasco you had found yourself in. Oh, how you wished you could tap out; this was your only conclusion to the dull, monotonous interlocution where not once, but twice did one of your co-workers abroad show their complete ineptitude in all things technology related by failing to share screen and check chat.
As you bid farewell to the last of the officemates who you agreed to mutual acknowledgement with, you leaned back in your chair and sighed. With the pitch black night outside, the artificial fluorescence that illuminated your pallid, tired skin appeared to be stronger, drying your eyes. If you were to stay frozen for a while, they would turn off until the next sudden movement, and maybe you could catch up on a much needed nap, cutting your sleep debt by at least a few minutes. But at the same time, could you afford those few minutes? When you were left alone with your mind, the notion of productivity and achievement became skewed, and what you would previously deem to be okay, or good enough, easily moving on to the next task, now metamorphosed – daunting, demanding monsters that haunted you, highlighting their inexistent faults in a dark crimson, covering your vision. If there was free time, that was time that could be spent working, perfecting, editing. And if it was not spent in that way, it was time wasted. Simple as that. Inadvertently, you became a lethal collaborator of the very cycle you dreaded waking up for the last couple of weeks, and were now in the process of breaking it, twisting it into a downwards spiral. You were aware of this, and yet, you remained passive, dismissing all alarm bells as overdramatization. The increase in cooling coals in your ambitious fire did not phase you, for you decided you had more important things to focus on. Like staring at your emails, unable to conjure a single coherent thought.
The words were swimming in front of you, the caffeine no longer doing anything to serve you. All that was left was the chocolatey aftertaste – you had your coffee snob colleagues to thank for campaigning for having proper beans be ordered, so everyone could travel to faraway places at least through the notes the beverage had, the harvest, taste the sun that blazed down on the rolling hills proudly bearing the farmlands. Only the memory of the dark roast sticking to the roof of your mouth, an unpleasant dryness settling along with the realisation that there was no chance you would be making any more progress. You heaved another displeased sigh, and after rolling your shoulders a couple of times, pressed on the power button, seeing how your distorted reflection appeared before you as the screens went black.
It was easy to imagine ghosts waving you goodbye, as the click-clack of your heels resonated through the main reception on the ground floor of the skyscraper where you were one of the many ants. A lonely security guard stationed by the turnstiles nodded you his farewell, hearing the beep of your id card being accepted. You nodded back. He was one of the more approachable-looking guardians of the money-making machine, you had seen him shake a joke with his fellow suited-up brethren a total of two times and you were not about to discourage yourself with the accompanying thought that you had been working in the company for just over a year now. You have not had the share of your favourite megawatt grins that would have dispelled your grim disposition, so every bit of negativity had to be treated with caution. You were a ballistic missile being transported in a rickety mule-drawn cart with one wheel falling off. Bit by bit. Step by step. You just needed an uneventful commute home, so you could collapse into your bed and forget about today, until tomorrow would inevitably remind you, and so the loop would start again.
But there it was. The cherry on top of the disgusting cake. Of course, the weather had to fit the atrocious mood. Even though your calendar explicitly stated spring, and you had been more than excited to welcome the longer days and the blooming trees and bushes, the temperamental elements were bestowed upon you as what could only be an evil prank. A cocktail of clumped up snowflakes and icy cold rain beating down on the side walk, the light emanating from a nearby streetlight gaining the appearance of static due to the rapidly cutting streaks. You cursed under your breath, already saying goodbye to your felt trench coat and blaming yourself for being too optimistic and not metaphorically gluing an umbrella to your hand. It was difficult to hold the tears that began to well up and inevitably blur your vision, turning the puddles and buildings into an urban soup. You had always wanted to see yourself as strong, or at least strong enough to be able to sustain yourself and be proud of your perseverance. But as you stood there, a stride away from being soaked by the downpour, you were trying to accept that you were fated to be ‘that one passenger’ on the metro, wavelengths of stress and misery vibrating out of you. The passenger who would have everyone sitting as far as possible and obviously concerned. You looked down, watching a stray shiny wrapper float down to the curb on a stream of water, stopping once it reached the sewage drain and the holes ended up being too small. Your hands clenched into weak fists, and you trembled, the nervous lump in your throat becoming painfully noticeable and spurring on a growing flood of apprehension. Under the stormy night sky you were so small. A tiny dot that would not leave as much as a footprint, insignificant against the menacing, ceaselessly falling drops of water, like a barrage of nature’s heavy artillery. As you were about you turn up the collar of your coat in attempt to do something, anything to protect you against the rain that you were about to step into, a voice called out, in part muted by the battering of concrete, but you would still recognise it anywhere.
“Would be cool if you could answer your phone sometimes.” Your head turned sharply to the right, in the direction from which you heard the sweet, deeper set tone.
Face slightly obscured by the edge of the huge umbrella that was loyally protecting him, there, approaching you, ambled the man who you would not dare expect to spontaneously visit you. Sure, you had your share of fantasies about how it would be like to have your boyfriend pick you up from work, or to meet up for lunch together, but both you and Yunho had phenomenally chaotic work schedules, and even calls lasting for longer than five minutes had to be planned well in advance. And while you were over the moon when you could spend time with him, the recent scarcity had led into a mounting pressure for you, to maintain a lighthearted disposition, to not let your troubles interfere with him and his life outside of a busy, demanding career. While that could have been your pride talking since such an approach took courage, your comfort was not at the forefront of your mind when you chose to not tell the full story to Yunho, when you faked a smile and covered the bags under your eyes.
"You know I can't use my phone in the office." You huffed, stuffing your hands into your pockets and feeling for the device, which you preferred to keep on do not disturb unless you knew someone was meant to be contacting you.
"Well, you are not in the office anymore, Y/N. But it’s alright, I completely get you. It’s late enough for you to not even bother with it until tomorrow, honestly." Your boyfriend shrugged his shoulders, and as he joined you under the roofing that protected the entrance from the mid-March cries of winter, he lowered and folded the black umbrella, revealing himself entirely to the streetlamp, and dim light emanating from the glass that guarded the reception area. You took in his divinely sculpted form, his smiling eyes and lips, and, in shock, realised that it had been far too long since you had seen this wondrous man in person.
He was dressed as though he had just stepped out of the dance studio, which, knowing Yunho, he very much might have. A beige hoodie, black tracksuit bottoms and some dual-toned sneakers to tie everything together he looked dangerously cuddly, which only further agitated you. Why did he have to come here without warning? Why did your ray of sunshine have to show up when you were nothing but a seething, thunderous raincloud?
"Thanks, Yun. But how and why are you here, exactly?" you did not mean to sound irritated, but your spent nerves were getting the best of you and took control of your speech. Yunho quirked an eyebrow but dismissed his perplexity in favour of lightening the atmosphere and cheering you up.
"My spidey senses told me you might need a knight in a shining automobile. And judging by how you don't have an umbrella, I think I'm right."
It was much more than just the lack of an umbrella; at your happiest, you were the type of person who would sing in the rain. It was the awkward hours at which you responded to his texts, the evident struggle you went through to keep your eyes open whenever you two would video call after work, but most of all it was how you so obviously held information back from Yunho that prompted him to approach his manager and carve out the time he otherwise would not have. If there was anything he learned over the half a year, and counting, of your relationship, was that you were a fighter, much like him - an energiser to a fault. You would give, give and give some more until there was nothing left for you, and then would lead yourself into the illusion that you were just being lazy when you were actually falling apart. You were putting on a brave, calm and collected face, and your hesitation to drop the mask in front of him was unnerving. If there was anyone in your present life who should be your pillar of support, a person you could trust, depend on, lean on be it emotionally or physically, it should be him. In Yunho's eyes, work and some pre-determined timetable was always adjustable when a loved one was in trouble, and hell, you were of the same opinion: when it came to racing across the city in the middle of the night just because he hinted at the fact that he had sustained an injury, you would stop the universe. So why did you not consider the basic healthy principle as something that was not applicable to you?
"But aren't you busy?" your inquiry sounded rhetorical. As though you had already formulated an answer for yourself and were unwilling to accept any other. To be frank, yes, Yunho was busy. So were you. Such was life. However, this element of your lives did not define you, nor did it imply having to take a secondary position in another’s life. Yunho shook his head, stepping closer to you until your arms were almost brushing.
There was a melancholic air to you. Days passing in minor chords, accumulating into a tune, then a song, then a symphony. Your sonata filled with dreams falling flat, and sharp comments forcing you to adjust your dynamics and rhythm. Yunho had fallen in love with the beautiful music of your heart – a beacon of kindness, selflessness and positivity, you had always been the first to encourage him, sometimes messaging or calling him before his members even had a chance to turn in his direction to wish him luck. An innate, deeper sense of what was around you, Yunho noticed time and time again how you elegantly navigated social landscapes, reading people, places and striving to simply do what was best for the situation you faced. You were one to intuitively know something was going on before it could even have the chance to consciously register.
But that also made you prone to wearing yourself out. Sacrificing yourself for those who did not deserve it, and not leaving enough to perform even the most basic human functions. Your boyfriend was always in awe of you, and how you could possibly have so much love contained in your body. As he gazed at your form while you rocked back and forth on your feet – a habitual action that he had realised was one of the most telling signs for your worry bubbling over, the strong urge to erase whatever parasitic dissonance was taking up space in your magnificent mind grew and grew until he could not resist to take your hand in his, smiling when he noticed your lips curl into the ghost of a smile as your fingers intertwined.
"Not busy to love you. No come on, let's get you home, you spent enough time in the glass box as is." He tugged on your hand, ready to open the umbrella again to lead you to the car he had parked around the corner, but you would not budge.
"I swear you had prac-"
"I am here. Okay? Here, now." He desperately wanted to bring you back into the present. What was outside of your control, and was not your decision to make should not preoccupy you, and yet if you caught onto as much as a hint of being the source of inconvenience for another, it sent you into a grim spiral. Not this time, Yunho was not going to let you keep doing this to yourself, even if it took a lifetime.
"It must have taken you so long to get here I-" your voice was growing quieter and quieter as you focused on the sensation of Yunho’s warm hand pressed against yours.
You had not realised how much you missed the feeling, and the reassurance that came with it. He was here, indeed. He was here with you. He was there for you. You raised your head as soon as he squeezed your hand a couple of times but struggled to maintain eye contact due to the evident concern written in his glimmering orbs. The tender, compassionate eyes, irises a dark mahogany hue, a safe haven in your hardship. You wished you could fall into those pools and drift into the blissful serenity they offered. At the same time, it was terrifying how he was peering right into your soul, making it seem as if your vulnerabilities were right there, on display, just for him. A shiver ran down your spine despite the layers you were wearing.
"If you checked your phone, you would now that my schedule changed." He commented, gleaming.
"Oh, so you are saying I'm wrong for worrying now?" you tried to pry yourself away, but Yunho strengthened his grip. He was not about to let you float into that headspace again.
"I don’t mean to make you angry here, just pointing a thing out." Voice level, the dulcet timbre silently posed a question to you – what was the rush? Why were you trying to run from affection?
"I am not angry! Just why is it that out of the blue you decide to appear? I would have been fine-"
"What, have other plans?"
"Uh, no? Going home?"
"So, what is there to stop me from popping by to see my girlfriend?” he pursed his lips, pulling you towards him so that you were facing him directly. Spontaneously interested in everything but his piercing scrutiny, you took to studying the white drawstrings of his hoodie.
"But… uh… well… There is like, a lot happening right now, isn’t there? For both of us? I mean… you have all that filming to do, the comeback to prepare for… you literally just came back from tour and…” you caught yourself rambling, and trailed off into the sound of rainfall.
"Hm. Figured."
Yunho nodded to himself, clicking the tip of his umbrella against the ground as though dotting a full stop on a page. Confused, you attempted to prompt him for an elaboration.
"Excuse me?"
"That you are burned out."
The phrase was a scalding hot iron thrown at the barriers you had painstakingly been building around your mind palace. You knew that it was true. Hell, if someone had just asked you to speak the truth about what you were feeling, this was the first thing that would come to mind, but were you going to say it? No. Never. What you were feeling and what influenced you was nobody else’s problem.
"Am not." It was childish, but it was the only response you could conjure without making tears well up in your eyes. Yunho was too close, too attentive, too much for your distressed and hurt heart.
"Are too."
"Look I am fine. There is nothing-” you peered at the darkness on the other side of the street. Tuned into the rustling of the trees that lined it, and wished for yourself to become part of the scenery instead of having to confront what Yunho was trying to get you to admit.
“You said there is a lot happening for both of us, and then you just list things off about me,” he was not going to let you go this easily, both in discussion and physically as he removed his hand from yours and instead placed it on your waist, “I am perfectly aware of them. I know my limits, and I know that I am managing fine only because I am honoured to have so many people supporting me. And now, I want one of these people to tell me what this ‘a lot’ means to them, and why they are now looking in the other direction.”
Your head snapped back to Yunho, revealing your misty-eyed state. Immediately, his expression softened, and he pulled you in, keeping you flush against his chest as he absent-mindedly rubbed your back with his thumb, while his other hand was keeping the wet umbrella a safe distance away from your clothing. You bit your lip as you took in Yunho’s comforting scent. He never wore any particular perfume, instead opting to smell like a mixture of fresh laundry and a miniscule hint of soap. And yet, if you could bottle this and keep it, you would in a heartbeat. To you, this was what the aroma of home, of safety was. If he wished to make you unravel your ball of troubles, this was the way to do it, you confirmed as you felt yourself automatically melt into his touch, blinking away tears that you were tired of holding. Not exactly aligned with your scheduled ‘half an hour of breaking down when you get to your apartment’, but who were you to complain about Yunho staying here with you, in the cold, adamant on defeating your inner voice that otherwise would have led you into a further darkness.
"Let's continue this in the car, yeah?" His voice wavered, dropping into the softest whisper which jolted you out of your guards entirely, and you let yourself be guided by him to his car.
As you ambled, side by side, you were enveloped in a total silence, the raindrops forming an abstract beat on the umbrella above you. Arm around you, fingers landing just under your shoulder, Yunho was afraid of letting you go even for an instant, the fragility in your steps and fumbling for a response as he asked if his hold felt alright for you exposing your inner dejection. And once he had you and him settled in the front and driver’s seats respectively, he put the key into ignition, but did not turn it just yet. As the rain painted a blurry masterpiece on the windshield, he tilted his head, and looked at you.
“Tell me about your day.” A simple ask, but to you it felt like one of those unsolvable mathematics problems. You could lie, and on any other occasion you probably would with a classic ‘I’m fine thank you and you’, but you would be foolish to think that Yunho would buy that. If anything, he would explicitly label the nonsense for what it was and encourage you to give him a real answer with nothing but those gorgeous, hopeful eyes of his.
“It was… you know what, it was a lot. Too much even. Really, the last couple of weeks have been too much.” You uttered, annoyance starting to boil within you as you recalled the rollercoaster of events.
“Tell me.”
“I don’t want to weigh you don’t with it. Really, this is nothing. It will pass.” You fiddled with the buttons on the blazer, now within reach as you had unzipped your coat. Though your words were grammatically correct, nothing made sense to you. What was it that you were saying? Learned phrased out of the automatic deflection compartment, lines of defence in an effort to avoid discussion.
“Then why are you giving it so much power?” Yunho persisted.
“Uh… I don’t know, maybe because it is my job?”
“So, you get paid to have burn outs?” while he asked this in a joking manner, his smile did not spread past a brief flash. When you did not send a retort in his direction, he motioned for you to continue. You hated to admit it, but you agreed. As of late, this was exactly what your job had turned into. You being a hamster stuck in a wheel, running ceaselessly with no rest breaks in sight. Running in the hopes of there being a finish line. A success. A milestone. But all there seemed to be was more paperwork, more reporting, more meetings, more conflict, and more doubt.
“Well, now that you say that…”
“I am not one to judge professional choices and perfectionism. In fact, I respect you so much for being so dedicated, and being such a hard worker. But a siren is going off right now, okay? You are on the edge of a cliff, and we do not want you to fall off it, yeah?”
“What cliff?”
“I am an idiot for not picking up on this sooner, but now that I have, I must tell you: you are being pushed way past your limit, and you need a break. It is basically doctor’s orders.”
“But it’s just wo-”
“Tell me, what was the last thing one of your colleagues had said to you? About your work?” Yunho was no stranger to office gossip, through you having occasionally divulged to him the drama occurring in your workplace, and through the myriad of dramas he had watched with you and noticed that you often reacted to what was happening on screen as if it hit very close to home.
“Uhm… but it was not a nice thing so…”
“Say it.” Interest turned into a demand, and Yunho leaned closer to you.
“I only overheard it…”
“And? You still heard it.” Dropping his voice low, he rejected your subconscious devaluing of what had obviously been harm incurred.
“That I was trying too hard to please my boss…” a mumble escaped you, followed by a ragged sigh. Why was this so hard?
“That is fucked up.”
“…even though I was literally just doing my job. I was asked to do this report and all there was that was extra to it was me wanting to make it look pretty.” While you were not saying anything particularly heart-breaking, at least not by your definition, you choked up and had to force each word out with the strength you had left.
“I swear, humans are strange creatures,” Yunho mused out loud before chuckling, “says I, a human.”
“But that’s exactly why you can say it. And besides, you are a thoughtful human. Pretty much a blessing, Yunho. So don’t even.” Finally, a genuine grin graced your features, reminiscent of the first rays of sunlight after a merciless storm. Basking in the glow, Yunho returned it twofold and proudly wore the blush that started to rise on his cheeks. But he knew better than abandoning his mission so early on.
“Not to be cringe or anything, but to hear that coming from an angel is quite the honour.” He wiggled his eyebrows as you laughed airily. But the moment, unfortunately, did not last long, and your day was once more overcast by rumination. Yunho did not speak, waiting for you to give him as much detail as you felt comfortable with sharing.
“Sometimes, even if I am trying my hardest, I get this sense that I might be better off shutting up and giving the others the reins.”
“So, they are disrespecting their own manager?”
“I guess it's because I am younger than them or something. I mean, I get it, it is a gnarly economic period for the company, and everyone is losing their marbles, trying to stay above the water, but it would be good if they at least took my advice into consideration.”
If looks could destroy, then the glare that Yunho sent your office building would have set it ablaze. To curb his anger, he drummed out an abstract pattern on the steering wheel, though the grip that followed it told all. He blamed himself for not having been there sooner. For letting this pain pile on until it turned to a ball and chain that progressively set out to ruin what had been your dream career. If only it was as easy to wipe away cutting words and agonising actions like faint graphite etchings on a piece of paper.
“They should know their place, that’s what," he hissed, giving the wheel one final thump before pushing himself into his seat and turning to you, "You are being too soft on them, in my opinion. And that is why they are acting out. Promise me this, you will show them that you are a frontline manager, and you are more than capable of keeping things under control-”
“I’m trying-”
“-by taking a break. People can sense weakness, especially people who are not so kind to you. And while I cannot fix their attitude, I can try my best to help you. And before you say it, you are not coming into the office on the weekend, I am booking you up.”
"How do you know I do that?"
"Over the months of video calls you really think I did not memorise that one conference room you use to call me?" He shot back, smirking as you were at a loss, the only option being to roll your eyes and give yourself up to a legally mandated holiday.
“Yunho, you are too selfless, please, I just need a couple more hours of sleep and I’ll be all sorted."
“No, I will be selfish and take care of you. So, sit back, relax, and think of happy things. And that’s an order.”
“But that is not how selfish works?”
“It does in our world. Besides, don't you want to show them who is the boss?" The cheeky boyish grin won you over, and you beamed, whispering an amused:
"Unbelievable..."
Falling in love with Yunho did not give you butterflies in your stomach. If anything, it calmed the anxious knots that accumulated over however long the time between you being in each other's presence was. Sure, you would be okay without one another. Living life, achieving what you wanted to achieve. Brought down by the gloomy days but rising again. But together, those days were just so much less gloomy. The, what could only be described as innate, trust that you had formed in one another, was the invisible string tying you together in the gift that was your present. Falling and being in love with Yunho was like a warm day in the spring, a promise for new life, for blue skies and for a warm breeze caressing the blossoms of affection. It was like the starry night sky in the early summer, with you and him sitting on the rooftop of the apartment building where you lived, on an old bed sheet because you were yet to invest in a proper picnic blanket, but still the happiest people in the world.
As he closed the gap between you, running his fingers over your jawline before cupping your face to get a better angle, you closed your eyes and gave into the adoration that emanated from him. In the subtlest of gestures, in the sentimentality that translated into him understanding you better than how you understood yourself, he was every bit a man head over heels in love. And while either of you were yet to say the words, each action and inaction both screamed it. Perhaps it was something more than love. A proximity of the souls that was built in the quietude, in the shadows of an emotional flurry. In the hustle and bustle of common terminology, labels and anniversaries, a little world that could only come into existence with genuine intent and care became a reality. This cozy corner that housed only you and Yunho. 'Did you eat?', 'I will take care of you', 'I'm outside with medicine' were all manifestations of this unspoken devotion. And as he placed one final kiss on your rosy lips before starting up the car, you were entertained by the fascinating coincidence in the only term you could think of to describe this feeling being the exact same as your boyfriend's surname.
Flickering lights, neon signs and a revelation that the cycle could stop. Though you were on the verge of somnolence, barely resisting drowsiness settling on your eyelids like the snowflakes outside, you watched as Yunho masterfully spun the steering wheel while singing a melody which you recognised to be Standing Egg's Starry Night, one which you had made him repeat again and again as soon as you had heard it once. Upon noticing your gaze resting on him, he broke into a chuckle and fell quiet until the next red light.
"Mmm, why did you stop?" You asked and pouted, glancing at Yunho's arm as he pulled on the handbrake.
"Because I want to look at you as I sing it:
Here we are close to star
I want to stay with you forever like this
Here we are close to star
The endless starry sky and you and me..."
As he sang, in the air hung a promise. One which you did not need for him to say out loud to understand, for more often than not, the feeling itself was the true, and magical meaning.
#gosh this is so beautifully written 🥹🥹 the way i can relate with the emotions here....#honestly im always in awe with ur writings op#like the language gets me feeling like 😫💖😔🔥🥹😁💗😭😊❤️🔥😍#and the fact that it's raining rn while im reading this??? MMMM WHAT A PERFECT SETTING#but rlly tho i love how you portray the reader's character here like it's so chefs kiss 😘🫰#recs
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a detailed analysis of rizz levels across pretty much every group I stan
chip ( @wingkkun ) and I had a very interesting conversation about this a couple months ago. here are the results, complete with direct citations and paraphrasing from our instagram dms. I do not take constructive criticism but I will entertain debates in my inbox. think of it as a scientific peer review
table of contents (in order): txt | seventeen | stray kids | ateez | the boyz | honorary mentions (golcha, nct, p1h, beomhan)
(disclaimer: all of this is meant in good fun and is not meant to be rude or harmful to any member I talk about. I love every one of them and in the end this is all just a joke!)
TXT.
soobin: below the charts. this man has negative infinity rizz. less rizz than me and that’s saying something bc I only ever flirt on accident if I tried to do it on purpose the world would explode. the limit of his rizz as you approach any point is negative infinity and I do not feel sorry for saying this. in the wise words of chip, “we like you bc ur ultimate cringefail (affectionate)”
taehyun: net positive rizz. I’m definitely biased but also do not argue with me I will bite your face off. the amount of rizz he has is a true problem and I am not immune to it (neither are you). he’s so cute and he’s also so hot and smart and I’m never going to shut up if I keep going so I’ll stop. positive rizz. off the charts. do not @ me.
beomgyu: please refer to hoshi’s bit below. they are one and the same. beomgyu had too much rizz it was eating him alive so his body compressed and converted it (lossless compression) to another form and now he’s a chaos monster who screams for a living and oozes what remains of his original rizz onstage. we love him for it
hyuka: +10 rizz because he’s cute. no more than that because he’s an overgrown baby (affectionate). he gives me a lot of brain damage but it’s just because of his plushies and his little brother energy so I feel like he could manipulate me with his rizz but it would only go so far before I either pat his head bc he’s so cute or I punch him in the face bc of the annoying sibling energy therefore he only gets ten points
yeonjun: after going through the entirety of our conversation I realize now that chip and I forgot to diagnose the rizz levels of the fourth gen it boy so now I’m pulling some shit out of my ass. net positive but low magnitude. I give him +3. mostly because he’s got insane stage presence and has the ability to kick beomgyu in the face but he’s soooooo pathetic. possibly reading skye’s ( @warmau ) thoughts about him have influenced me but he’s pathetic hence the very very low magnitude of rizz. I am not sorry
SEVENTEEN.
mingyu: rizzless. I direct you to this post I made because it’s factual and explains his horrifically low levels of rizz. do not be fooled by this man’s muscles he’s constantly screaming crying throwing up to be told he’s sexy but the second someone does tell him that he’s a blushing anime girl (affectionate) and we love him for it but he’s rizzless. negative off the charts
jun: rizzless but not in the same manner as mingyu he just does not know what rizz is. very similar to juyeon in this manner. the8 or dino have definitely tried to explain rizz to him before but he simply does not understand and does not care to. even if he did understand it I’m still not certain he’d care which gives him a lower magnitude rizz than mingyu which is better even if it’s still negative
the8: positive rizz with quite a high magnitude. I can’t quantify it but it doesn’t even matter because even though he has rizz he doesn’t use it. he’d rather tell us to stop having a parasocial relationship with people behind our little computer screens and ooze rizz via charisma on stage instead and I can respect that.
seungkwan: so much rizz. so much fucking rizz have you ever seen this man complimenting female idols on shows. have you ever seen this man tell idols they’re pretty and wonderful and beautiful in every which way without batting a damn eye and with so much earnestness I blush. cannot believe chip ever thought this man as on the same level of rizzlessness as soob smh
vernon: 0 rizz, but this does not mean he is rizzless. rizz is a spectrum and having 0 levels of it just means you are rizz neutral. purely neutral. no one has purely neutral rizz the way vernon does he’s simply so special. that one gose episode where he showed up in that rainbow hoodie with red glasses? that’s the epitome of rizz neutrality
s.coups: refer to daeyeol’s bit below. handsome. reliable. have you seen him with kkuma. I melt every time. unfortunately he is still horrifically pathetic and though we adore him for it this does unfortunately decrease his rizz levels drastically. without it he’d probably be somewhere at positive infinity but now he’s at like +8. the world knew that if coups wasn’t pathetic enough he’d be too powerful so they had to humble him.
hoshi: he doesn’t have rizz but it’s not like the nerds where their rizz levels are just buried in the negatives it’s more like the magnitude of his rizz was so high that it has since been compressed and turned into something else. so he has no rizz but it’s not because he was born pathetic, it’s because it was converted due to the law of conservation of rizz (real)
wonwoo: similar to taehyun in that they’re both very positive but slightly different. yes they are both gym rats yes they are both token introverts (sort of) but wonwoo is a gamer. their rizz is fundamentally different but they’ve evolved to be similar due to their personalities kinda like wings on bats and birds. as you can tell it’s been a while since I took biology
jeonghan: similar to lino in that he has rizz but he stole it. the difference between them is that lino has some natural organic rizz while jeonghan was born with none and stole all that he owns now. without this stolen rizz he would be a limp noodle dragging himself across the earth but now he’s a fairy. life isn’t fair
dino: negative but low magnitude. the first number I gave him was -14 I don’t really know why it was -14 specifically but the point is it’s supposed to be low magnitude. recently he began climbing my bias list and chip yesterday convinced me to change his magnitude to to something lower so I now give him -4. I am easily swayed
joshua: positive rizz in the same manner as jangjun et al. the man is fucking insane. insane charisma but also just plain insane. I’m not entirely convinced he didn’t steal some of it but while jeonghan freely admits that he stole it joshua keeps evading the question. there is a venn diagram of jangjun et al and lino et al and joshua is in the intersection
woozi: I considered an intersection between chanhee and the8 and I think woozi falls into it. perhaps I’ve just been gaslit into thinking he has positive rizz but let’s just roll with the thought. has some rizz like the8 (less than the8 though) but does not care to use it (like chanhee) and also doesn’t really care that it’s there. he just kinda lets it be
dk: net negative but low magnitude. I originally gave him -13 to bc I thought he was a step above dino but not by much. I still kind of think this way so I’m elevating him to -3 since dino got elevated to -4. sorry dino I think you’ll always be one step behind no matter how big of a crush I have on you
STRAY KIDS.
lino: has rizz but in the wrong way. the man touches butts for a living AND he has cats he’s got to have some rizz hence the net positive but he also definitely stole some. please refer to my comments on this post for details he definitely does not organically have all this rizz but he’s stolen it and now it’s his you can’t ask for it back
chan: also has rizz but in the wrong way but also differently from lino. chan should not have as much rizz as he does but he’s got that “libra sun scorpio venus rizz” (chip) which makes him extremely dangerous. he’s a loser and for that I’d give him negative rizz but unfortunately he has an aura that separates him from the likes of mingyu (it’s the dilf dad energy) so he has net positive rizz of a dangerous magnitude.
jisung: we welcome another member to the ranks of the negative infinity rizz. do I even need to explain. does the anime girl babygirl pathetic cute energy not already do enough explanation for you. I should not have to spell out the fact that this man is rizzless at every point on the mathematic plane. I love him to death but that will not save him from the rizzless fate
seungmin: please refer to jangjun in the honorary mentions below. his rizz applies here. positive rizz. high magnitude. ridiculous for a man of his caliber but here we are. he’s got some weird mutant rizz and that’s all I can really say like…..what do you become when you have rizz levels +69,420. what do you fucking do.
changbin: fluctuates between +10 and -10 like a sine curve (please refer to mingi’s bit for more information). his positive rizz is similar energy to yunho but louder and his negative rizz is just pathetic baby boy-ness. I adore him. big muscle men who are soft. I don’t have a section for wonho but if I did they’d be of very similar types.
hyunjin: negative rizz. he’s an only child what else do I need to say. ferret energy. flails around. long limbs that he doesn’t know what to do with. so much baby girl energy I always want to laugh at him (affectionate). lovely boy so very lovely with such fucking negative rizz
felix: like jangjun and co his rizz got converted but unlike jangjun and co it was not converted to insanity. it was converted to something…… alien. idk how to explain it. asymptotic rizz, according to chip. weird behavior as x approaches infinity. I agree with this assessment. nothing earthly explains how this man is so ethereal so I have concluded that alien magic converted his rizz to ethereality
jeongin: ok so I did say vernon is the only one who’s truly reached rizz neutral but jeongin is pretty close. similar vibes. they’re both slightly insane of course but they are also more than likely to just stand there and vibe. this gives off rizz neutrality. jeongin is less neutral (probably tipped in the negative direction) but he’s getting there.
ATEEZ.
seonghwa: rizzless this man is the nerdiest nerd ever he is RIZZLESS. magnitude infinity in the negative region of the graph. he and soobin are two sides of the same coin the latter is a lanky little gamer dude and the former is a Star Wars nerd with a display case for his figurines. the absolute most negative rizz ever (affectionate)
yunho: oooooooo my god. positive rizz if I’ve ever seen one. so much rizz. so much fucking rizz. the magnitude of his rizz is off the charts and unlike the other insane ones his rizz didn’t get converted so he is DANGEROUS. if you ever meet this man in the wild run in the other direction you will not survive his pull. in the wise words of chip “yunho has |rizz| (absolute positive rizz)”
mingi: his rizz…fluctuates. like a sine curve idk. he alternates between having so much rizz it hurts and so little rizz it’s laughable. yes I have definitely been influenced by having seen him in concert twice (do NOT bring up the fact that he became a wrecker after the second). he knows he’s hot and will use that to the best of his ability but he’s also kind of pathetic and for some reason it doesn’t balance out so he fluctuates
jongho: has rizz. does not care to use it. falls in the same camp of the the8-ers (refer to the seventeen section) in which he prefers to simply ooze rizz onstage and kill everyone’s heart there instead of flirting with fans. respectable. also incredibly dangerous. everyone wants to hug him but if you try to his rizz will snap you in half but if not huggable then why hug shape?
hongjoong: net positive rizz but he’s convinced he has more than he does so I dock several points due to excessive confidence. panics too much when wooyoung tries to kiss him for me to restore them. if he gay panicked a little less then I might consider him having as much rizz as he says he does but alas he does not and so I will not.
san: -10 rizz. negative but not too negative. he’s really cute and really hot but also really pathetic and I say this with the greatest fondness imaginable. remember that one poll where tiny voted him as the person they’d least like to vacation w bc he’d stay inside (don’t worry me too san)? same vibes. his patheticness outweighs his hotness and while they’re close, ultimately patheticness wins out. sorry not sorry
yeosang: net positive rizz but he does not use it. this is not by choice. he just doesn’t know how to. in fact I’m not fully convinced he knows what rizz is. in this manner he is somewhat similar to juyeon (refer to the boyz section below) except where juyeon’s rizz is negative infinity yeosang has some positive levels. in chip’s words get well soon yeo
wooyoung: falls in the same camp as hyunjae in that he has fully negative rizz and embraces this fact to use it as a weapon. dangerous man. fully insane. if his rizz was positive he’d be the same as jangjun and co but unfortunately he’s pathetic for hongjoong so his rizz is negative and is not handled the same way.
THE BOYZ.
hyunjae: all of Bermuda line is rizzless to the max but in different ways. in hyunjae’s case he knows he is rizzless and fully accepts and utilizes this to his benefit. you’re telling me this man doesn’t know how pathetic (fond) he is? he’s self aware and will absolutely use this against you. as dangerous as those with high positive levels of rizz. watch the fuck out
younghoon: fully rizzless bc he’s in Bermuda line but is not self aware. in fact he protests that he does have positive rizz but look at this man. he has the energy of a dying victorian child trying to make it past this cold, cold winter. all you want to do is pat his head and coo at him to make him feel better he has no rizz. absolute negatives.
juyeon: again, completely and negatively rizzless since he’s in Bermuda line but like younghoon he is fully unaware. in a different way though. why you ask? because this man definitely has no idea what rizz is. look at his sweet little eyes and tell me he knows. that’s right. you can’t.
q: negative rizz. not as low as Bermuda line/seonghwa/soobin/etc. but still quite negative. the thing is no one ever tells him this or brings it up to his face because he’s dangerous. he may not know what rizz is but he does know what an insult is and if you say a word about his purported negative rizz levels you will not be heard from again. this is a warning.
sangyeon: has net positive rizz. it isn’t super high but given the fact that I’ve just said four of his members have some of the lowest rizz levels imaginable it’s relatively high in the realm of tbz. can’t really explain it but he gets this rizz from his hot tired uncle energy that no one is immune to. have you seen him with his nephews? don’t argue with me.
(at this point chip told me to stop making rizz comments bc their stomach hurt. I did not stop)
kevin: rizz levels -1. not quite negative infinity. in fact pretty far from it. still negative though and he’ll never recover from that. I’d say that I’m sorry but I’m really not no matter how much this man works out I will never be able to stop laughing at him to his face (in best friend fashion). love you kev
new: negative. not horrifically so like Bermuda line but still more negative than kev. you may be thinking what the fuck lina new has so much rizz wdym? you’re wrong. he doesn’t have rizz and he doesn’t care. his lack of care gives the illusion that he actually has positive rizz but he does not. do not be fooled
haknyeon: POSITIVE RIZZ. do not question the positive rizz of tangerine boy ju haknyeon. it may not be positive infinity but I do say he’s around +50ish and given the patheticness that surrounds him that’s pretty fucking good I’d say. so much rizz. so much true rizz. I love him
sunwoo: the most negative fucking rizz ever except he’s convinced it’s positive. see without this unfounded conviction his rizz would just be somewhere around -50 and he’d be fine because Bermuda line exists but nooooo he decided to ruin it by being overly confident in his rizz powers so now he’s at negative infinity and one. sucks to suck.
jacob: (chip came up with this one) he has beomgyu and jangjun levels of rizz so like rizz off the charts but while a lot of it was converted into weirdness some of it stayed rizz so. hm. a tamer version of jangjun if you will. however beware because his rizz is once again increasing since he stopped playing league. watch out.
eric: negative rizz. same boat as sunwoo. their rizz magnitudes are the exact same and in the same direction (negative obviously) but it’s in a slightly different manner. both have unfounded confidence in their imaginary positive rizz levels but eric’s is in the manner of a teacher’s pet who thinks they’re popular while sunwoo is just plain mad
HONORARY MENTIONS.
jangjun (golden child): positive rizz and it’s terrible. I can’t tell you what the number is (it’s +69,420) but it’s really fucking high and I hate it. most of his rizz has been compressed and converted like hoshi’s to something resembling insanity but unlike hoshi there is a dangerous amount left. beware this man
daeyeol (golden child): +5 rizz. he’s handsome and reliable and if we got married I would be able to trust him to get things done. similar to sangyeon in that he’s got hot tired uncle energy but he’s also pathetic so he only gets five rizz points
mark (nct): negative rizz if I’ve ever seen one, but missing the negative infinity rizz by one point. I just need him differentiated from soobin and jisung and the other pathetic ones. mark is pathetic but I give him one point out of pity
beomhan (??): I don’t know anything about this guy except that he can’t cook and has high cholesterol problems from eating too many eggs but he’s in the same group as jangjun and co
keeho (p1h): I also don’t know anything about this guy except what chip has told me but I think he’s similar to chanhee and chip thinks he’s on sunwoo’s level. do with this information what you will
#istg yunho rizz is so dangerous i can nvr run away#but also i wanna say abt jongho rizz BC HAVE U SEEN HIM#other than the fact he's a libra man the vibes he exudes is just 😳🫣😳😵💫😵🫠
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Yunho ✧ KCON 2023 JAPAN performance
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Mingi knows what’s up
Teezway Ep.1 for Starway Ateez
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you're enough
masterlist
pairing: jeong yunho x gn!reader
w.c.: 2k
tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of reader having seasonal depression (pls be careful reading), established relationship
With the soft scent of baby wipes following him, Yunho helped you stand back up to face the storm within your mind.
A/N: this one's for a friend going through a rough time! I figured hearing these words come from yunho might help more than me saying them >:). be sure to treat yourself with kindness, especially during tough times! and don't be afraid to reach out -- you are loved, you are cared for, and you are never alone. <3
⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹
Your phone pinged again. You knew you should reply to him, he must be worried. And yet, your body felt too heavy. So you simply blinked, once, twice, until the screen went black once again, returning the room to the dim state it had been in for the past several days. You wanted to move your arms, one of them going numb under you where you laid on your side. Your sheets were in a desperate need for a wash, but you ultimately decided to put off doing your laundry for yet another week. Just as you put off everything else – work, meals, showers. This was no way to live, you knew that, but you couldn’t gather enough motivation to do anything about it. So you remained in bed, tucked under your sheets, staring blankly at the window across from you, watching the raindrops race their way down to the sill. It was raining. How fitting, you thought, listening to the pitter patter of the water on the glass of your window and feeling your eyelids grow heavy with lethargy, slowly succumbing to the grip of sleep – something you’d had way too much of this past week.
Your eyes snapped open at the jingle of keys followed by your front door opening, a rush of panic coursing through you, but you still didn’t move. Not even the danger of an intruder could drag you out of the pit you had fallen into, you had realised.
“(Y/n)?” You relaxed, the familiar sound of you boyfriend’s voice calmed you down, and you slumped further into your pillow. The tension in your shoulders remained, though – you didn’t want him to see you like this.
A dark head of hair peeked into your dimly lit bedroom, eyes raking over your figure as you laid facing the opposite wall, head almost fully under the comforter. Yunho sneaked across the wooden floor to the other side of the room, small creaks sounding under his sock-clad feet. His eyebrows raised when he realised you were awake, gaze fixed on the window, only a sliver of it visible through the blinds as rain pelted against it heavily. He called your name again, this time softer – barely a whisper – but it caught your attention, dragging you away from your thoughts. Your eyes moved to his, a gentle smile you didn’t have the power to reciprocate spread across his lips to greet you.
You were certain you weren’t even close to looking presentable – you hair unwashed and matted, dark eyebags and dehydrated lips – and yet Yunho studied your face as if spellbound, as if the descendant of Aphrodite herself was before him. He took a few cautious steps towards you, eyes never leaving yours as he lowered himself to the mattress beside your resting figure. Instinctively, you pulled the comforter over the lower portion of face, gaze lowering to the pillow under your head, almost in shame.
“What are you doing here?” You muttered under your breath, the crackle in your voice enough to let him know you hadn’t been using it very much. You cleared your throat, a bright shade of red coating the shell of your ears.
“I haven’t heard from you in a few days, (Y/n),” Yunho spoke, voice matching yours in volume so not to disturb the stillness in your room. His hand carefully found its way to your hair, fingers lightly smoothing over the greasy locks. “Do you want to tell me what’s got my darling feeling so down?”
You shook your head, shying away from his touch as his fingers continued their ministrations. You missed the way Yunho’s smile fell for a second before he quickly replaced it, acting unaffected by the dark aura surrounding you – an aura that even he had to work to dissipate. You felt the familiar stinging at the corners of your eyes; you wondered how you hadn’t run out of tears by now. Even as you averted your gaze, his eyes remained on you, labouring to read your expression. The truth was, even if you did want to talk, you didn’t know what to say. Was it the change in seasons that spurred this unwarranted rush of sadness to course through your body, overwhelming your very being, backing you up into a corner and forcing you to isolate yourself from the world, from the people you loved and held dearly in your heart? Or was there some other, unknown justification for the state you had found yourself in? You didn’t know, so why subject the person you thought the world of to these unexplained emotions?
“Can you just – can’t you just go?” Your voice broke, and so did the damn holding back the well of tears pooling in your eyes. They fell, crossing the bridge of your nose and seeping into the pillowcase underneath your head, your bottom lip drawn between your teeth as you suppressed the sob building up at the back of your throat.
Yunho sighed, and you froze at the sound, afraid of the expression coating his face. Except he was pushing you further into the bed a moment later, making enough space for him to crawl under the sheets with you, now face-to-face as he laid on his side next to you.
“You don’t always have to suffer in silence, you know? I’m here for you,” he cupped your cheek, thumb swiping away at your tears. “I'm always here for you.”
Worry. That was the expression he was making. Not disturbance, not disappointment. You saved your bottom lip from the torture your teeth had subjected it to, allowing Yunho to wrap his arms around your shoulders, moving you closer and into his chest. As his warmth engulfed your every sense, you finally allowed yourself to let go, your sobs muffled as you buried yourself into his chest. His fingers continued to comb through your hair, a soft hum echoing in your ears as he rocked you gently. The rain continued its downpour outside, its harsh abuse to your window paired with your continuous sniffling the only sounds between the four walls. You nestled further into his arms, the material of his shirt soft against your skin. He smelled like baby wipes. He always smelled like baby wipes.
Yunho broke the silence after your tears stopped soaking his shirt. “Would you like to talk about it?” He asked again, his hand rubbing calming circles between your shoulder blades.
Just when you thought you didn’t have it in you to cry any more, your vision blurred once again, and you found yourself being pushed back into his embrace. Yunho, to you, was the epitome of warmth – his smile, the wrinkles by his eyes, the soft tone of his voice, the interminable kindness he’d shown you, and continued to show you even when you ignored his attempts of reaching out. You felt unworthy of it all, and yet he never ceased to give – kindness, warmth, comfort. As though he had an endless supply he was not afraid to use up. Even in winter, even while the storm banged against the glass of your window, he continued to send waves of burning heat through your skin. He pushed through the barrage of hostility in your brain, fighting away the melancholy that held you captive and allowing ease and serenity to course through your very being.
He didn’t push you to talk, simply keeping you tucked into his arms until you felt ready to speak your mind.
“I-I… I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. There’s no particular reason. I just feel-” you paused, letting out a shaky exhale. “- sad; hopeless; worthless – as if nothing will ever work out for me, and perhaps staying in bed all day, away from everyone and everything, is best.”
Yunho hummed and drew you even closer to his chest, perhaps unaware of his grip on you growing tighter.
“I just feel like my existence brings nothing but burden to the people around me. I-I didn’t want to be clingy and annoying, so I didn’t reach out. Why should I subject you to that negativity? W-what would I even say? That I’m the biggest fuck-up out there-"
“No. No, no, no. That’s not even remotely true. Don’t say that about yourself.” Yunho pushed away from you just enough to take in your tear-stained cheeks, the shake of your bottom lip as you tried to dry out the tears welling up in your eyes. You tried to counter, but he shushed you. “Don’t listen to that voice inside your head, it’s wrong. So, so wrong, my love. Just- Listen to mine instead.”
He leaned in to press feathery kisses to the corners of your eyes, his lips straying further to plant soft pecks over your eyelids, your forehead, nose, cheeks, all the while whispering praise against your damp skin. Beautiful, smart, hardworking, strong. He moved away to admire the scrunch of your nose after a significantly longer kiss to the tip of it, only to lean forward to lay his lips against the corner of yours. Yunho’s hand cradled your jaw, and you finally opened your eyes to look at him again. The smile curving the corners of his lips – so tender, so delicate – enough to send another wave of tears rolling down your temple and into the sleeve of his shirt where your head rested.
“I’m sorry if I’m too much,” you sniffled.
Yunho brushed your matted hair off your forehead, leaning in to press his lips to the skin. “You’re never too much. Don’t apologise for needing reassurance, sweetheart.”
“B-but… Am I not demanding too much from you?”
“Never,” he didn’t hesitate before responding, holding your face so delicately, a choked sob ripping out of your chest. “I would fly to the moon and back without a second thought if I knew it would make you smile. The only time you have ever been too demanding is when you asked me to leave you alone when all I wanted to do was hold you and fight the sadness away for you.”
You heart felt so full, so warm, wrapped up in Yunho’s arms while he rocked you to the beat of the soft melody he was humming. He let you cry – just as he had for the past hour – smile unwavering as he rubbed your back soothingly, occasionally running his blunt nails over your clothed skin. You wondered how someone could hold so much love in their gaze while they watched another break down and reveal the most vulnerable fragments of themselves. The emotions you felt, the emotions you had been feeling, were so dour, so bitter. Yunho’s comfort was a stark opposite of that – warm, gentle, affectionate. You drowned in the fervency of his embrace, his voice like honey in your ears, unravelling the tension you felt inside.
“I know it doesn’t look like it now, but the pain will pass,” he spoke so sincerely, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“Is it bad if I can’t see that happening?”
“Not at all,” Yunho assured as he moved a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek and running his thumb over your cheekbone. “You don’t need to rush to move on from this, love. Feel the sadness and accept it – it’s fine to drown in your emotions for some time. Never on your own, though. Not while I'm by your side.”
Yunho’s hand moved from your cheek to cover the back of your neck, giving it a subtle squeeze, his other repeating the motion at your waist while he gave the tip of your nose another kiss. You let your eyes flutter shut, missing how he continued to study your face, cherishing the peacefulness painting your features and hoping he was able to rid you of even the smallest portion of the pain you had been enduring all alone.
Maybe it was the way he phrased it, or maybe it was the smooth timbre of his voice, but you found yourself believing his words. Perhaps all you had to do was allow yourself to feel, rather than dwell over why you were feeling. Perhaps indulging in the comfort of others was okay. Perhaps Yunho was right and you weren’t too much; maybe you were just enough, simply human, trying your best to get through this wave of dysphoria. Perhaps just as the storm outside will soon pass, so will this cyclone of emotions swirling inside you; just as the sun will rise once again, the days where you felt okay will return.
In the homely embrace of Yunho’s arms, the soft scent of baby wipes floating in the air around you, anything and everything felt possible.
apply for my tag list here (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡
#nearly cried im not kidding#the way ive been feeling like this for the past few weeks..... sigh it's rlly hard these days#so glad to stumble upon this bc it did kinda comfort me in its own way#thanks op for this lovely piece <3#recs
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Ima need all the Yunho stans to assemble…bc I need someone to gagggg over this photo withhhhhh😭🫠! I’ve never seen such a boyfriend looking photo in my life. He doesn’t even look real😭, man looks like a fucking prince. I’m sick, I’m not well, I’m going crazy😀. Jeong Yunho…the man you are🥵😍.
#DONT GET ME START#LITERALLY YUNHO WITH A FACE THAT MAKES U YEARN FOR MARRIAGE HHH#god i cant do this....
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this lawyer needs to defend me for the crime i’m about to commit cause of him!!
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Yunho’s birthday youtube live ♡
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#OurAceArtistYunhoDay
happy birthday yunho ♡ thank you for being born and thank you for being our happiness everyday♡
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All of me
💐 pairing: yunho x f!reader
💐 genre: fluff, marriage au, just love, established relationship
💐 summary: "All of me, loves all of you... Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you..." - All of Me by John Legend; looking over old photographs had never been quite as sweet as this.
💐 wordcount: 3.8k
💐 warnings/tags: weddings, marriage, crying, comfort, yunho is sappy and soft, wedding pictures, literally just a lot of hugs, couple supposed to be adulting but cuddles come first
💐 wordcount: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @izuijin @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101
💐 a/n: Hello there, this is the product of having gone totally soft for Yunho (@/senpai-of-doom and @/honey-lemon-goose y'all attacking me with quality fics and @/layzfeelit with Idol Radio goodness and us just fully drifting into Yunho-land). Thank you <3
“Babe~ Honey~ my LOVE! BABE! BAAABE!” you could barely make out the sound of shouting over the roar of the vacuum cleaner. Assuming the worst, you slammed the power button and dropped the pipe, rushing into the room from where Yunho’s voice had emanated.
“WHAT? What is HAPPENING?” you yelled back and flicked your wrist, action dramatized by the cleaning rag you had instinctively grabbed while in a panicked rush. It was supposed to be cleaning day, but after three years of living together, you should know better than to expect it to go smoothly and for the gentle giant to be obedient enough to complete all the chores without making a comedy show out of it.
Clad in an ancient t-shirt, part of a double set which you had bought on one of your early dates as a joke, track suit bottoms and socks with cartoon golden retrievers, the man, the apple of your eye, was standing in the middle of the living room, grinning and shining like the sun itself. Upon catching the sight of you, he ignored your temporary distress and only smiled with more adoration, stretching his arms out as wide as he could.
“C’mere, Y/N, I miss you.” He asked, clapping his fingers against his palms, beckoning you.
“Oh my word, Yun.”
You rolled your eyes, but in a matter of seconds were wrapped up in your husband's arms. You were surprised that he did not tease you about the atrociously tied bun on the top of your head, one that appeared to be more of a nest than anything, nor the fact that you had, once again, stolen one of his hoodies because ‘you were confident that this particular one matched your leggings the best’. No such thing. You just liked to be enveloped in a hug all day. The real thing was even better, of course, but you had to be functional human beings and go do adult things too, and latching onto one another unfortunately prevented you from achieving that.
“Babe, were you about to… d-rag me?” there it was. No wonder this man was practically best friends with your father. Sense of humour was on par.
You groaned and pulled away from him to give him a playful punch on the upper arm, but soon returned to having both your hands behind his back, grabbing on as tight as you could without tiring yourself. Dropping the rag on the floor, you let your fingers flitter across his tee and give you a better hold.
Cheekily, he stuck his tongue out at you and pulled you in again, cradling you as he rocked gently from side to side. You found comfort in having your head resting against his chest. Nothing else existed in these moments, and any worries that would accumulate evaporated, or appeared so small compared to the undivided attention and love in Yunho’s embrace that you felt invincible. Your arms dropped slightly, drifting to a more relaxed position as you realised that this was one of his ‘long hugs’, and simply sank into the feeling.
He had been awfully giddy and clingy the entire day, actually make that a week, ever since you had attended a wedding of one of your mutual friends. Yunho had almost turned into a blubbering fountain, competing with the grandparents attending, during the event, squeezing your hand until you swore your fingers went numb and you had to pry yourself away to grab the ‘emergency tissue pack’ in your purse and a bottle of water. Showering you in compliments and gazing at you as though it had been your own wedding day, the man who you had the pleasure of saying ‘I do’ to two years ago, made you fall in love again. And again. It was a common occurrence, and happened even if he got competitive and destroyed you in a video game far too many times for you to remain non-aggressive. But the soft cheeks that you just wanted to squish as he grinned at you boyishly were enough to make you forget that you barely knew what button was where on the controller.
As you moved in a slow dance, music remaining in your imagination, you spotted a thick album with a cream cover lying on the coffee table. It bore your names, and had been littered with doodles, stickers and notes that you had made together, having deemed the binding too formal, impersonal and rigid for your shared liking.
“Yun, what’s our wedding album doing out here and not on the shelf?” you questioned, tilting your head to eye Yunho with suspicion. He bit his lip, suddenly having grown shy, and played with the edge of your, technically his, hood.
“Well… I was wiping the dust off, as you instructed, and… I don’t know, it just happened to fly out at me.”
“Fly out, huh?” you chuckled, causing him to give you a small smile in return.
“Yes. On the wings of love.”
“Cheesy.”
“We always ask for extra cheese, hon.”
“True that, but wow that wedding had an effect on you, huh?” you read his actions as though he was an open book, something which had been one of the reasons why Yunho knew within a month that you were the one.
“Hey, it’s a happy moment, okay?” he took you by the shoulders and pressed his forehead against yours, knowing that the closeness and the ridiculous angle at which he would purposefully peer into your eyes would make you laugh. And bingo. You melted into his favourite sound and gave him a small peck on the lips as a way of answering.
“Do you want to look through it?”
The tone of his voice was almost concerned, like he did not want to disappoint you. Out of the two of you, he was definitely the more sentimental and enthusiastic one and you: level-headed and logical, but in nearly all cases, it worked. And in the ones where opinions did not match, you respected each other and communicated your points clearly. But the inkling of fear still did not leave him, and he felt that it would stay with him for all his life. Upsetting you was his personal nightmare, and so he always did all he could to keep an eye out, read the room, learn to understand you fully, perhaps even better than how you understood yourself.
You shifted to rest your hands on his hips, batting your eyes to prolong the silence that fell over you as soon as he asked the question. But you could not keep the game up for long, a sigh escaping you as you gleamed and stepped closer, with Yunho in tow, to the couch.
“Let’s do this.”
Initially, you sat down side by side as you took the album, but your husband, apparently, had other plans. With haste, he pulled you down into a half-lying position, pressed flush against him while he occupied the corner for balance.
“Who is dragging who now?”
“Can’t be me, nope.” He stared up at the ceiling, the walls, anywhere except you to feign total obliviousness.
“Really?” you raised an eyebrow, stifling a giggle.
“I am cuddling with my wife. What is dragging, pray tell?”
“Wouldn’t know. My soft-ass husband erased that from my lexicon it seems.” You shot back, shuffling into a more comfortable position.
“Now about soft ass-”
“Don’t you dare bro.” you cut him off in mock shock.
“Don’t bro me, we are literally about to look at our wedding photos and you call me bro?” he joined you in your miniature spectacle, pretending to have been offended by your use of the word. Even though you were just kidding, you did not want to ruin the moment and take things too far, instead settling for a simple:
“Excuse me bro.”
“You are excused. And I’m not your bro.” at the speed of light, he responded, and your jaw dropped. You could hear smugness in his tone, and simply had to twist your head to confirm your suspicions about the source of his comment.
“Did you just quote a TikTok at me?”
“Did you not know you married a hype house member?”
“Well dang sorry about that, I think I need to step up my game.” You concluded, nodding to yourself, your lips curling into a smile.
You flipped the album the right way around, pausing to trace the details of the adorable chaos with which it was decorated, recalling the evening when this idea had even crossed yours and Yunho’s minds. That same night you found out that the convenience store next to your shared apartment not only provided the best snacks at two o’clock in the morning, but also had an astonishingly large array of arts and crafts supplies tucked away towards the back. In the tranquility, Yunho decided to tangle his legs with yours to lock you in place, and whispered in your ear, inadvertently sending a shiver down your spine.
“Is there any higher to go than you?” you snorted and leaned your head back.
“You are layering on the cheese TODAY, do you have macaroni with that?”
“No, you will settle for an entire wheel instead, my love. Now go, go, open it, open it!” he egged you on like a child begging to get to the gifts on Christmas day.
In many ways, Yunho was like a bouncy ball of pure energy, while still remaining responsible, dependable and at times, too good to be true. He was the most genuine, sweet angel who stopped at nothing to make you feel loved. The smallest things about you and what you did excited him, and he took great care in memorising the sources of your happiness, only to double, triple them. He had a bright soul, and as soon as you let him, shared it all with you. It was no secret that he wore his heart on his sleeve, and maybe that was the real reason why he did not mind sharing his sweaters with you, since you already had it in your possession.
He was your sunshine on a rainy day, a vitamin in illness, and your biggest cheerleader. You were not kidding about the last one, either. Yunho had waited for an entire half-day, in the middle of the business district, for you to complete a job interview and assessment day and for him to be able to support you and gift you the bracelet you had always wanted. At the same time, he had trusted you enough to be his anchor and his guide out of the darkest places, reaching out and never letting go. Be it when he was overworked, or simply because it was one of those days when nothing seemed to be going right, you were always there for him, and he did not need to pretend to be strong and above being human. Both of you loved one another for everything you did and felt, for all the perfect imperfections.
This was exactly why your wedding had been a bundle of chaos – the two of you had been strongly against any professional curation, and instead decided to make the event what it should be: a wild celebration of your life as individuals, and your future life as an officiated union. Involving his friends and your own in the planning and execution had also been the best decision, as both the reception and after party had turned out to be even more exhilarating than you could have envisioned. Even as you walked down the aisle, his two close partners in crime: Wooyoung and San, nearly stole the show as flower boys with extra flair and style.
“I totally forgot that Woo nearly crashed the basket into your aunt’s face, LOOK AT HER!” you exclaimed, pointing at the photograph that had captured the terror in Yunho’s relative’s eyes terrifically. The next picture, albeit slightly blurry but you begged for your resident photographer Hongjoong to send it anyways, showed Wooyoung bowing to the poor woman as though he had just finished a theatre performance, hair almost brushing the floor.
“Hold on, look at this, I never noticed how your baby cousin looked as we were saying our vows? Look at him, he is so cute!” Yunho was turning into a puddle as he relived the memories while viewing the photos, one after the other. It was so easy for him to drift back to the day, as each second was one he thanked all that was good in the world for. He had dreamed of it as soon as he had progressed into a relationship with you, and that wish had come true.
You took on the role of a makeshift stand, keeping the album up by the cover, while Yunho did the honours of flipping the pages. Each time you stopped to study a new one, he would rest his hand on your stomach, enjoying the sensation of feeling your breathing, your heartbeat. Any sign of you being so close to him both physically and spiritually, the realisation that you were here, only his, made his brain go haywire and his emotions fluctuate beyond any control.
Soon enough, you moved to the photographs from the celebration after the ceremony, and that was when Yunho felt his breath hitch. Changed out of the formal wedding outfits into more comfortable, fashionable and dance-friendly attire, you looked spectacular. He did not look too bad either if he could say so himself, but you… the way you had been caught mid-glance and were looking at him as if he was your entire universe… he could not help but squeeze you to him making you yelp.
“Hey I have organs by the way!”
“It’s okay you can have mine.” He mumbled as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck for a moment, leaving a light trail of kisses.
“Odd, but charming.” You commented, trying to get the image out of your head as you nudged your husband to flip the page once more.
“Only the best for you.”
“Then I’d like to keep you in one piece and alive, please.” Your simple answer, probably something he should not even dwell on, made him even softer than before. Yunho really was in a sentimental mood.
It was beginning to get to him. The disco ball decorations paired with peonies, the dazzling lights. The company of only the closest people who had watched you two grow over the years, and saw you two develop a beautiful romantic symbiosis. Even the silly napkins on the tables that had mini caricatures of the guests printed on them, taken from funny photos you had saved on your phone as ‘blackmail material’, were hitting him right in the impossibly strong feelings.
Though you had the original polaroids saved in an envelope which he had left in its proper location, between the thick book of Impressionism that you had asked him to buy for you, and a few video game discs which had overflowed from another shelf, there was a picture of the wall that had been created on the day of your wedding. The task had been simple – you asked all those attending to take the instant print film camera set down on a table to snap a picture of themselves, either as they were or with any of the props provided, and clip it to any of the strings wrapped around a wooden frame. By the end of the night, as the champagne kept on flowing and people got more snap happy, there were so many squares of joy that they had all been about to all fall down to the floor.
A couple of them had been zoomed in on, Hongjoong holding them in a position that reduced the glare, his immaculate manicure peeking in through the gaps. One was a picture of Yunho surrounded by a group of your closest friends, all in various states of blissful insanity and looking like they were all about to jump at the lens. The other was you, in a laughing fit, together with his friends, at this point – brothers. They had grown incredibly close with you quite quickly; as a matter of fact, it was through one of them that you had met in the first place. Who else except Mingi, who had been unanimously appointed as best man, could have known where to find Yunho’s love of his life and beyond? Could it be any better than this? How could he be so lucky?
He was frozen in place, unable to even return to his duties, so you turned to the next set of photos yourself. You attempted to comment a few times on the details in the pictures you found funny, like Seonghwa literally wiping down a table in the background of one, Hongjoong caught mid chase as Wooyoung stole the camera, or Jongho and Yeosang lifting a plate of fried chicken – a dish which the latter had insisted upon including, to inspect it. But to no avail. Your husband remained silent, and you swore his heart started to beat louder.
“Yun?” You asked, your voice barely audible as you moved to the next part of the collection.
“Yes?” he sounded chocked up, instilling alarm in you as you lowered the album.
“Yunho…”
“Y/N…?” he mirrored, breathing shallow. You twisted back to him and were in for a surprise.
“Yunho, are you… crying? No way, Yun, baby, are you crying, why?” you cooed, completely abandoning the album, and raising your hands to his face, cupping it. You had caught him just as he was getting misty eyed, but with your affection, the tears that welled up began to roll as soon as he blinked.
You brushed them away with your thumbs, lifting yourself up to not squeeze on Yunho’s body too much, letting the album fall off you and onto the floor. He was always your priority. Even though he had turned on the waterworks, he was, somehow, still smiling, though a little more pouty than usual.
“My love, what’s happened, talk to me.” you mumbled, feeling both his arms wrap around you and pull you in. “Hey, let’s sit, come on.” Fully obeying you, he took you like a koala, and shifted so he was against the back of the couch, and your legs were on either side of him, with you sitting square on his lap. “Yun, baby, was it the table? That last photo was just the table, you know the one with the flo-”
“Y/N why are you so amazing?!” he wailed, nearly knocking all oxygen out of you as he buried himself in your hoodie, inhaling your scent, searching for comfort which you were more than willing to give. You barely had the opportunity to tuck your arms in so that Yunho would not hurt himself.
“Oh, so it was those photos, right?”
“Mhm…” he hummed, not wanting to look up at you, feeling his cheeks and ears going red. It was his hoodie anyways it did not matter if he cried into it a little bit. He had the right, dang it.
“Yunnie, that is just us and our friends…”
“But it’s so perfect…”
“You’re so precious, my love. Come on, deep breaths for me, okay?” he could not answer with words, body shuddering as he struggled to contain a sob, and merely nodded against your frame. You poked his head playfully, grinning as he appeared from his temporary hideout and grew bashful.
No matter how he was, he was always beautiful to you. You had seen each other at less than ideal times, and here you were, still together and stronger than ever. What could a couple of happy tears do? Only make you want to cover him in kisses, which was exactly what you did as you regained your balance and were centimetres away from his lips. The action left him beaming, and you tried your best to wipe away more as much of the streams staining his cheeks as you could.
“Let’s look at Mingi’s breakdancing pics instead, how about that?”
“Y/N…”
The day kept on flashing in Yunho’s mind, and grew into a moving reel of all the time you had spent together so far. Soon enough, the future he had imagined with you also made an appearance, and new tears started pricking at the corners of his eyes. You tried to mimic his approach and lowered your head to make a funny expression, knocking your forehead into his. Bumping your nose with his, you further distracted him by announcing ‘boop’ every time you did so, right until he erupted into uncontrollable giggles and muttered:
“Gosh, I am a sappy mess, aren’t I?”
“That’s what I like about you, sweet love of mine.”
“Only like, and only that?”
“Okay, love, and much more than just that.”
“What else?” you had leaned into him, resting your chin on his shoulder and snaking around to embrace him back.
“I would love you even if you were a worm, Yunho, I think that says it all.” You recalled the time you had gone to change the bedsheets and returned to your husband, a grown, tall man, rolled into the old ones like a burrito, wiggling back and forth.
“I’d love you if you were a worm, too. Even if you were bacteria, you’d be mine.”
“Mm, microbiomes, now you are really speaking my language Yun.”
A quietude spread across the living room, together with the rays of midmorning sun that were breaking into it through the windows. Basking in this serene warmth, you almost did not want to return to your chores for the day but had to give it a shot.
“Yun, we have to continue…” he sniffled in response, making you look up at him again. He was forcing himself to start up again, only this time to keep you right where you were. “Oh no you don’t! Darling, we must-”
“I need attention, your departure is detrimental to my health.”
“Baby using big words, now I must stay.” You teased and pecked his cheek, leaving him more than satisfied as he grunted in agreement with your final decision.
Toppling back into a lying position, he traced circles on the small of your back, deep in thought. As you started getting sleepy, totally immersed in the soothing sensation, Yunho tapped you a couple of times, mischievous.
“Y/N?”
“Yes?” you answered warily.
“…Remember what song we did that slow dance to?”
“Yunho don’t even think about it you know I’ll cry to that.”
“My head’s under water, but I’m breathing fine~ you’re crazy and I’m out of my mind~”
“Stop, seriously stop!” you chuckled, growing more vulnerable by the second.
“Really, such a basic song choice.”
“You know I love it, and you said so too!” you exclaimed, while he used his pause to clear his throat, and softly began to sing the chorus, leaving your vision blurry, and you falling in love yet again.
“‘Cause all of me…loves all of you…”
#MY HEART#MY HEART FEELS RLLY WARM RN AFT READING THIS#GOSH IM NOT KIDDING I CAN FEEL MYSELF TEARING UP HDKSJKS#THIS IS SO SOFT IT'S MAKING ME 🥹🥹🥹#AND THE DYNAMICS OMG THE DYNAMICS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HHHH#brb m now a gooey puddle of love rn#recs
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