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introspection on mikaela’s sexuality for heavenlyseraphim!!! this is shameless
Mikaela doesn't realize he's not like other boys until he starts hanging around Yuu’s little group of humans--his new family. It still leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
At first he can focus on nothing else but Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan and how he's safe now, at least as safe as he can be, how he's real and here. But as time goes on he notices the odd little glances Yoichi sends the girls, the way Narumi always gets distracted by the swish of Shinoa's skirt, and how even Yuu’s eyes seem to glaze over whenever Mitsuba runs past.
Kimizuki is the only one who seems unaffected by this phenomenon, but then one day Mikaela notices the way he watches Yoichi bend over to grab the bow of his demon weapon, cheeks turning as pink as his hair. It's then that he realizes that there's something different about him: there’s something wrong with him.
Mikaela thought he'd come to terms with all the ways he'd changed, thought he'd accepted the fact that he could never be human. But it hurts in the way only something can when it makes you feel alone--when you're on the outside looking in.
Mikaela remembers what desire feels like. He'd learned too young thanks to Ferid. He remembers the hot flood of it and the way blood rushed to places so quick it made him dizzy; he remembers the throb of it, the squirmy, strange, addicting feeling. He remembers the nagging urgency of want, and also the conflicting desire to draw it out endlessly. But the memory is distant and distorted as if submerged beneath water, the details constantly sliding away when he tries to grasp at them.
When he casts his gaze over Shinoa and Mitsuba and tries to see what the other boys see, he feels nothing but hollow and hungry and irritated.
The more he thinks about it the more frustrated he gets. Not too long ago he'd still felt a spark, the last dying flame of his humanity, ultimately snuffed out the minute his eyes turned from blue to red. There had been Yuu's body under him, hard muscle and heat close enough to penetrate the layers of his uniform. There had been the excitement of having Yuu beneath him, vulnerable and expectant, Mikaela's thigh pressed between his legs. There had been something. Mikaela clings to the thought almost desperately.
From then on he starts watching Yuu more closely, eyes following him so often it's starting to unnerve Narumi and Kimizuki; he can tell by the wary way they watch him back. Inevitably Mikaela finds his eyes returning to the same stretch of skin over and over, riveted on the tantalizing margin of throat between stiff uniform collar and sharp angular jaw.
It becomes an obsession. Yuu's neck isn't thick, but neither is it so slender as to feel fragile. There's the perfect amount of space between his jaw and shoulder for Mikaela to set his mouth on, the skin taut, smooth, warm and delicious. Thinking about it sends pangs of that long lost desire through him, and the want that seizes him feels so human that he doesn't care if it's a perversion of what others feel--a need that lingers tremulously between sex and hunger. When Mikaela stares at Yuu’s neck he feels the beginnings of a blush suffuse his face and the stirrings of something primal low in his belly.
He feels alive.
He follows that feeling further and further down the rabbit hole until he realizes it's breaking the threads of his careful control. He's no longer satisfied by the lukewarm blood he's handed when he needs to feed, the mixture of everyone's liquid donations coagulating in a single cup seems vulgar in comparison to the pure, hot spurt of Yuu’s blood from the vein.
It doesn't help that Yuu always goes willingly, that he offers to let Mikaela bite him with something like desire lurking behind the evergreen of his eyes.
"Are you sure?" Mikaela whispers, smoothing a gloved hand down Yuu's flank. Feeling the hard lines of Yuu's body makes the contrast of that soft place between jaw and shoulder even more apparent, and Mikaela's mouth waters.
"Just do it," Yuu says, but his words are edged with anticipation. His own hands, free of gloves, curl into the white fabric of Mikaela's cape where it lays over his shoulders. Mikaela reaches up and pushes the stiff fabric of Yuu's collar out of the way, the hand on his side sliding lower to grip his hip and hold him against the wall of the dilapidated shack they're hiding behind. Yuu fidgets a little in Mikaela's hold, as if testing his strength, and finds the vampire's grip to be immovable where it pins him in place. Mikaela can tell Yuu likes that.
In the beginning, after extensive coaxing from Yuu (quiet litanies of 'we're family, Mika' and 'it doesn't hurt I promise'), Mikaela would bite down and drink as quickly as he could. He'd just wanted to get it done as soon as possible.
Now, Mikalea draws it out.
He inhales the scent of Yuu's skin, the faint fruity scent of his shampoo as ink-black hair brushes his cheek in a soft whisper. He licks over the spot of his choosing, feels the blood rushing under the flat of his tongue as Yuu's breath hitches with the wet touch. Mikaela flicks his tongue over his pulse point just so he can watch Yuu's eyelashes flutter at the sensation, then lets his fangs come to rest over where the blood flows oh so close to the skin.
His breathing is ragged with anticipation, and he's sure Yuu can hear it, but he can't even bring himself to be ashamed when he's this close to getting what he wants. The waiting is agony of the best kind; maybe he's more of a masochist than he realized. Mikaela waits until he's desperate for it before sinking his fangs in: one long, smooth, stroke that makes Yuu gasp and dig his fingers into Mikaela's shoulders.
Blood rushes into his mouth like liquid ecstasy, overwhelming his senses. It has never been this good, always riddled with guilt and fraught with self loathing. But this is good, so good. Yuu must think so too because he's moaning, low and stifled in his throat like he doesn't want to make noise but doesn't know how to stop it either.
Mikaela likes how unrestrained he is, how he just can't seem to help but wear his heart on his sleeve. He presses closer, crushes Yuu with his body as he drinks deep, feels the viscous liquid slide down his throat. There's nothing, Mikaela thinks, more intimate than this.
He wants to consume Yuu.
He wants to keep him.
Mikaela starts to pull back but Yuu reaches up with one hand, curls fingers into soft blond hair. "Don't," He sounds breathless, dazed. His heart is beating a mile a minute. Mikaela is close enough to hear it. "Don't stop, Mika."
Mikaela lifts his head anyway. His mouth is smeared red with Yuu's blood. He doesn't think Yuu realizes how he's rocking his hips, rubbing himself against Mikaela's thigh. Red eyes meet green, Yuu's irises nearly swallowed whole by his pupils.
The hand on Yuu's hip slides down along his thigh before Mikaela curls his arm just beneath Yuu's ass. Yuu opens his mouth, probably to ask what Mikaela is doing, but all the comes out is a gasp as Mikaela lifts him up with one arm effortlessly. Yuu's legs automatically move to wrap around his waist, lips still parted in a pretty pink 'o'. Mikaela can feel the hard outline of Yuu's cock against his stomach.
One of Yuu's hands combs Mikaela's hair back from his eyes, fingers moving to tuck a stray curl behind the sharp point of one ear. The other guides Mikaela's mouth back to his neck; Yuu's legs tighten around his waist.
"Bite me again."
Mikaela finally understands desire.
#mikayuu#nsfw#owari no seraph fic#owari no seraph#yes i had mika lift yuu up with one arm#because vamp strength and also because that's hot af#ever since i heard about vamps being asexual#i wanted to go more in depth#especially with mika struggling so hard to maintain his humanity#which resulted in this self indulgent lil gem#.writing
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Came for the _______. Stayed for the _______.
Tell me why you followed my blog and what made you stay (if it’s two different things of course!)
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drapes his entire body over the slightly smaller boys back "Yuuuuuu-chan, pay attention to meeee"
Grunts under the sudden burden of Mikaela’s weight. “I’m busy,” he huffs, continuing to practice swinging with his sword despite the vampire on his back, the blade slicing through the air audibly.
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He’d sworn off it, biting people, drinking from the source he knew it was wrong, there were laws in the vampire community about biting people, sinking your teeth in getting that rush of hot, warm blood but Mikaela had never thought it’d feel like this, never thought he’d crave it, crave the break of skin beneath his teeth so soft, so easy.
He didn’t crave it from everyone though no, it was specific, he didn’t really understand it either, he didn’t crave it when he saw the others in this little clusterfuck of a team, didn’t stare at their necks like he’d walked for years amidst a desert wasteland with naught but his own sweat to hydrate him. Even the other boys, Narumi… Kimizuki when they opened the collars of their uniforms he never paid them any mind but…
Yuichiro. It was him.
Only him, only when that perfectly tan, smooth column of skin was exposed did he feel parched, did is eyes linger, bright red hues glued to the expanse of skin, following him wherever he went honestly, he assumed Yuu knew, knew his family looked at him this way, Mikaela assumed he’d realised and was simply ignoring it. Surely, he couldn’t be this oblivious, right? He could accurately counter a Vampires’ attack even at their full speed yet he couldn’t accurately pinpoint when his supposed family was staring at him like a piece of meat?
Yeah surely Yuu had realised by now what was going on.
The longer Mikaela continued to resist these urges, the more they surfaced, the more he’d think about the other, each time in a different position be it slammed against a wall, beneath him or hell on top who cared really fantasies were for the land of the inner mind, never needed to be grace the land of reality.
It’d embarrass him of course when the others noticed, Shinoa would notice more than others, she’d make sly little comments, question where he was looking, if he needed binoculars, Mikaela often felt tempted to just break her and bury her where nobody would find the body, not even because of the teasing no he KNEW she liked Yuu, her heart rate spiked whenever the oblivious little dork did something adorable which was always, whenever he did something brave or selfless which was always, he couldn’t MISS the obviousness, he couldn’t be kind to her, couldn’t get as comfortable with her as he could the others…
She was competition. He refused to see her any other way.
That’s when he really knew something was… off. Something wasn’t quite right with himself, vampires didn’t really find conflict in sexuality, if they wanted something, they’d go and get it, be it food or sexual gratification, sure humans seemed to assume that vampires were asexual one track minded monsters but that wasn’t exactly the case they were as complex a species as humans when it came to sex and the urges behind it but… Mikaela had never really… thought about it before.
He had when he was younger, when he’d been human but since being turned, this was the first time, and it was all because of Yuu. Yuu and his ridiculously smooth skin, that perfectly tanned expanse, so soft… so… so—
—He caught his lip on his fang breaking him from any lewd thoughts that may have been running rampant in his mind, a fang that had for some reason lengthened during his mental battle with himself, during his quite blatant staring at Yuu from across the little camp site. Staring at that little sliver of skin beneath his jaw where he’d unclipped his collar while he worked fuck he was hungry.
…. Wasn’t he? No… no he wasn’t… at least not for food anyway. He’d always want something else… something more.
It scared him.
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@heavenlyseraphim
ʚ♡ɞ
#.yuu#.mika#( IS THIS NOT THE STRIPPER AU )#( can't believe i just found this in my likes )#( it's fate obvi )
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It starts out as most things in Yuichiro's life do.
That is to say it starts out as a bad idea.
"I could totally do that," Yuichiro had slurred, suitably drunk as he watched girls--boys, his drunk mind helpfully supplied--twirl up and down poles. It was an unorthodox establishment catering to a niche interest; beautiful boys passing for beautiful girls, stripping as money rained down and collected in puddles at their heeled feet. the business was doing amazingly well considering how avant garde it was.
"You can't even walk in heels, Yuu, much less..." Shinoa gestured to where one of the strippers was twirling around a pole in, admittedly, sky-high heels. Yuichiro frowned as she laughed, no doubt picturing him trying to do the same. Had Yuichiro mentioned coming here had been her idea? Because that was important. All the worst ideas were Shinoa's.
"I could too," Yuichiro grumbled, sipping more of his drink. It still tasted bad, but it got him drunk at minimum cost and that was the important part.
"Can't hurt to try," Kimizuki chimed in. "Considering rent is due soon."
That is why Yuichiro is here now being ushered backstage to meet the manager, and apparent owner, of Seraphim. He really does need the money, and this is the most promising job prospect he's had in a while.
The owner, it turns out, is just as beautiful as the boys he employs. Yuichiro isn't sure what he expected... but it isn't this. The man before him has a long spill of silver hair, features sharp but delicate. His age is a mystery to Yuichiro; he seems timeless.
He introduces himself as Ferid before he comes around from behind his desk and walks around Yuichiro in a slow, predatory circle. Yuichiro feels like a piece of meat as he waits for the verdict, but after several minutes of silent assessment Ferid stops right in front of him. He stares into Yuichiro's eyes for another long minute before muttering 'very pretty'. Yuichiro figures that must be his stamp of approval since he's handed paperwork to fill out a moment later.
"Now, Yuichiro, you'll be leaving your name at the door," Ferid says, once again sat behind his desk, glasses perched on his nose as he shuffles through Yuichiro's hastily completed paperwork. "From now on your name will be..." He pauses and looks up at Yuichiro with the same assessing stare he'd given earlier. "Cherry."
Yuichiro blinks. "Cherry?"
"Yes," Ferid gives him a slow smile and somethng about it sends a shiver up Yuichiro's spine. "From this moment onward, whenever you're working you will be addressed as such. Now remember, Cherry, this establishment is all about fantasy. When you're out there working you're no longer a boy trying to make a quick buck. You're an object of desire; you're an existence beyond the rigid lines of gender and sexuality. You exist solely to be seen and coveted."
Yuichiro has no idea what this guy is talking about, but he nods anyway. "Um okay."
"Excellent." Ferid places the documents in one of his desk drawers with a flourish before standing up and heading for the door. Yuichiro follows. "Tonight you'll just be watching the other girls and getting a feel for the job. I’m taking you to the dressing room. Most of the girls like to freshen up before they start work for the night, and there’s a wardrobe to choose from until you can afford some of your own clothes. Try to make friends. This is a competitive business, and you'll want all the help you can get."
They make their way to a door that's labeled, rather gaudily, 'ᴅʀᴇssɪɴɢ ʀᴏᴏᴍ. ᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴇs ᴏɴʟʏ'. The inside reminds Yuichiro of something out of a burlesque film--mirrors rimmed with bulbs, feather boas tossed over the backs of chairs, more kinds of makeup than Yuichiro knew existed, racks and racks of costumes, and so much perfume in the air he can taste it. And there, sitting in front of one of those mirrors, carefully brushing something onto their face, is a blond so gorgeous Yuichiro feels his mouth go dry.
"That's Angel," Ferid says, following Yuichiro's rapt gaze. "She's one of our top girls, the star of Seraphim if you will." He sounds absolutely delighted by this fact. "Just tell her you're new and she'll help you out."
Yuichiro has very little confidence he'll be able to speak two words to her without falling all over himself, but before he can ask for a different guide Ferid is already gone. Yuichiro is left standing in the doorway feeling horribly out of place in his worn jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt. He's like a smudge of dirt in this brightly lit space. For lack of anything better to do, he slowly shuffles over to the vanity Angel is occupying.
"Um..." He shouldn't be so flustered. After all Angel is a guy, no matter what she looks like, and Yuichiro isn't into guys. That doesn't stop the traitorous blush from pooling in his cheeks though. "I'm new?"
There's an implicit help me behind the words that he hopes Angel doesn’t notice.
#.replies#heavenlyseraphim#v. born in a better world#( so this is extremely self indulgent and i love it too much )#( enjoy )
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If you find me to be INTIMIDATING in any way, anonymously send along ☠ with the reasons why.
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What warning label would you put on my muse?
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xemissarium:
“People watching too?”
“Just keeping you company, actually.”
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xemissarium:
Leans against a wall.
Leans next to you.
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👄 + neck
SEND 👄 + A BODY PART FOR MY MUSES REACTION TO BEING KISSED THERE
Yuichiro had to bite his lip to suppress a laugh at the ticklish sensation of Mikaela’s mouth ghosting over his neck.
“Hold on,” he said, shoving at Mikaela’s shoulder playfully, ignoring how solid and immovable Mikaela felt under the pressure of his hand. He trusted him, so it wasn’t a problem, Yuichiro reminded himself. He ignored the fact that his heart was racing.
Yuichiro undid the rest of his collar, tugging the stiff fabric aside so it exposed his throat and part of his collarbones. Mikaela was practically half way in his lap, having already crawled into the space between them, red eyes riveted on his pulse point.
He’d noticed Mikaela’s… thing for his neck recently. Yuichiro wasn’t sure there was a word for the way Mikaela gazed at his neck and then glanced away with a blush as soon as Yuichiro caught him looking. He’d elected not to say anything about it though, but at times like these it was hard to ignore. Initially the feedings had been short and business-like but now…
Yuichiro’s breath caught as Mikaela’s lips parted in what was unmistakably a kiss. Yuichiro’s hand came up on instinct, curling into the white material of Mikaela’s uniform, not sure whether to push the vampire away or pull him closer.
“Mika…” he breathed, not sure what he was waiting for. A bite that would make the world go fuzzy with pleasure, perhaps, or maybe an explanation.
#( i like the idea that yuu is conflicted about the bite even though he pretends not to be )#.replies#heavenlyseraphim#v. this time i'll protect them
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contractedloyalty:
“Oh is he? I never did notice him much I must admit.” Aside the Yu and Mika situation, her focus was Shinoa and Mitsuba, depending on when Guren stopped having his own side issues to contend with. Pink hair was…odd, so was purple, or green! Ferid had grey like an old man, oh wait, he was old!
“Excellent, glad we had that conversation.”
“He’s a beanpole,” Yuichiro said with a solemn nod. Maybe Yuichiro would just make it a point to be standing next to Yoichi at all times so that he felt taller. Especially when there were vampires around that he had to intimidate.
He wasn’t exactly sure what he’d said to get him off the hook but Yuichiro had the feeling he’d just dodged a bullet--literally.
“... me too.”
#.replies#contractedloyalty#( he's decided it's just smarter to agree with her )#( guren is a terrible influence )#( he needs more women in his life tbh )
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heavenlyseraphim:
“A few months ago you hated vampires though, you stabbed me right through the chest because i’m one… how can you say they’re cute when you hate vampires” the pointed ears were just another difference between human and vampire another difference between them.
“I--That’s!” Yuichiro felt his face heating, caught somewhere between shame and indignation. “I didn’t know it was you, Mika!” he said, voice strained with frustration. “And it’s cute because it’s you. You’re not just a vampire; you’re my family, so of course I’m going to find things about you endearing...” he trailed off in a mutter, crossing his arms over his chest as if daring Mikaela to refute him again.
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vampiric-crusader:
“Oh my, that’s a very hurtful comment. Shame it isn’t as impacting when you’re a legitimate small-fry to me.”
“Look, just because you’re freakishly huge...” In fact, now that Yuichiro was paying attention Crowley was broad too. Yuichiro narrowed his eyes as if Crowley’s shoulders had personally offended him (which, they had). “That doesn’t make me a small-fry!”
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Send 👄 + a body part for my muses reaction to being kissed there
Can be NSFW/SFW. You choose.
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contractedloyalty:
“Well, vampires are taller than us, I doubt most of them were that height originally.” Granted, she wasn’t sure which ones were turned into vampires and which were born. She could guess a pure blood was never human and a noble was likely once human perhaps. “None of your team seem that tall, Yoichi, Shinoa and Mitsuba do not seem tall.” Ah Mikaela was a special situation, she wondered if he’d grow in height now he was a vampire…or were they always the size they were? Purple hues scanning Yu for a moment. “You meant…?” Careful, angry women are dangerous. “Women, are not supposed to be any height, we are what we are, just as men can be short or tall…is that a problem, Yu?”
“Kimizuki...” But Kimizuki had pink hair so really there had to be something weird about his genes to begin with. Then again, Shinoa did have purple hair so... Before Yuichiro could continue that train of thought he found himself facing down a very fierce and very dangerous woman, one who had a good chance of handing his ass to him.
“... not at all, ma’am.”
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