therapy. (part 1)

every time yena feels vulnerable, she focuses her gaze on something stationary. her emotional anchor changes depending on whatever’s around her. whenever she’s in her therapist’s office, it tends to be the carpet beneath her feet. she detests how the speckles of color are all muddled together and indiscernible from one another, but at the same time, the carpet is familiar so it brings her comfort. her therapist is spewing some words as she drifts off into a daydream about nothing in particular, everything he’s saying going through one ear and out the other as if it’s some meaningless song. it isn’t until he shouts her name that she pays attention, looking at him in his eyes.

“yes?” she says with a dry tone. with most people, she would’ve spat out “what!?” with a scowl after having her name called out to her, but she actually respects dr. jung, so she’s a bit sweeter to him. he’s more palatable than most, and he actually seems to at least somewhat understand her, and that’s enough to warrant some respect by yena’s standards.

“you started going away again. tell me what you’re thinking about.” dr. jung inquires further, patiently clasping his hands together as he anticipates yena’s answer. yena has the tendency to drift in and out of dreaming while attending therapy sessions, her mind frequently drawing blanks. she stares at him for a second, playing with the frayed edges of a ripped spot in her denim jeans.

“i’m thinking about how i don’t want to be here,” she says plainly, crossing her arms across her chest as if she’s protecting herself from the emotional lava that’s brewing inside of her. her statement doesn’t seem to faze dr. jung, and he calmly takes his glasses off and puts them onto the side table beside him, relaxing into his chair afterwards.

“that’s fair. is there anything that you want to talk about in particular?” dr. jung asks, seeming to already know the answer to his own question before yena has the chance to respond. he’s always so patient with her, and the fact that he hasn’t given up on her in the same way that her past mental health professionals have has given him the opportunity to reveal a lot of things about her that she doesn’t normally tell anyone. for example, she was often rejected all throughout her primary education years and has trouble forming authentic friendships due to this. she also carries guilt for existing every single day since she feels like she burdens everyone’s lives. although she seems nonchalant on the surface, she cares deeply about how other people view her and she has some layers to her that most people don’t get the privilege of digging into.

“not really,” yena responds, which is exactly what dr. jung predicted she would say. “i’ve been watching a lot of nostalgic cartoons lately, though. i wouldn’t mind talking about that.” it’s always easier for yena to discuss seemingly simple topics such as this one, but what isn’t known to her, is that there’s actually a lot of psychological significance that can come to the surface due to which cartoons that she’s been watching lately. 

dr. jung offers her a pleased smile after her suggestion, already conjuring up a bunch of discussion points and inquiries for the topic at hand. “that sounds perfect. start whenever you’re ready.” 

if you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

“easy. i’d make it where everyone would learn to live for themselves and stop dedicating their lives to trying to impress or seem desirable to others.” 

although yena is an avid twitter user, she can’t help but feel like there’s a dark side of social media. quite frankly, she loathes the fake internet personalities and has a strong belief that most people are too scared to be themselves these days.

 “it’s exhausting to log into social media and having to be subjected to what people want to be perceived as rather than seeing them being their authentic selves. we’re all inherently weirdos... i just don’t understand why some people find it so hard to embrace it.”

hello, friends! i'm mobile rn but i'm back from my hiatus. i actually have a midterm paper due tonight that i'll be working on, but i'll hop back into interactions asap. thank you for waiting patiently and i'm happy to be back! ♡

200521 Yeri - Dazed Korea from Photographer Kim Tae Hwan Website

@eunhoyh liked this post for a starter!

in general, yena doesn’t consume alcohol very often. she only ever reaches for the bottle when she’s experiencing a whirlwind of intense emotions, such as severe anxiety, extreme stress, or an unfortunate concoction of both. she latched onto this coping mechanism when she witnessed her parents demonstrating it during the height of their financial struggle journey. this habit can surely go down an unhealthy path, but that’s never at the forefront of yena’s mind when she decides to indulge in this activity.

when she does drink, she prefers to do it in the comfort of her own home instead of in bars like most people her age. nothing could possibly be worse than being in an enclosed space filled with strangers and being forced to hear slurred, drunken words string together from nearby conversations. however, with the current pugnacious atmosphere of the park household, she figured it’d be best to stay out of there in order to preserve her energy and go to a dreaded bar instead.

there she was, sitting on a stool in her version of hell, the constant sounds of glasses clinking and young adults laughing ringing in her ears. the bartender was making small talk with her the entire evening - perhaps he pitied her and assumed that her being by her lonesome wasn’t her own choice. yena didn’t give him the time of day, and the entire capacity of her concentration was granted to the mojito that she was attempting to enjoy, sipping on it fervently as she was desperate to get a buzz.

out of nowhere, the bartender put a cosmopolitan in front of yena. she eyed the drink while sipping the last of her mojito, looking up at the bartender with an eyebrow raised. before she could inquire further, he piped up while pointing at the opposite end of the bar, “that gentleman down there bought it for you.” with a wink of an eye, he went back to wiping down the wooden counter. yena looked down to where he was pointing and saw two men sitting there - a man who seemed to be in his early thirties that she'd never met before, and cha eunho, a fellow resident of yangcheon hill.

in actuality, the bartender was pointing at the nameless stranger, but yena was utterly convinced that eunho was the culprit. with a roll of her eyes, she gets up from the stool with the cosmopolitan in hand and brazenly strides over to eunho. she clears her throat once she gets closer to him, her voice booming over the music, “just because you brought me a drink doesn’t mean that i’m obligated to sleep with you.”

although he didn’t make any indication that he ever wanted to engage in such an affair with her, yena just assumed that was the case since that’s typically what men in bars are after in the films that she watches. she takes a seat on the empty stool beside him, sipping on the cosmopolitan as she waits for him to explain himself.

i wanted to think of a way to showcase yena’s personality a bit more, so i decided to write up some tweets that she would post on her personal twitter. fun fact: she mainly tweets in english because most of her friends are online and live in different countries. these aren’t supposed to be super serious or anything and was just something fun that i wanted to do, so i hope that you all get a kick out of reading them bc i definitely had fun writing them lol.

@parkvely00: if i go into my brother’s room and shave his head, then what would happen? which one of you park jinho stans would beat my ass?

@parkvely00: you telling me kimchi fried this rice?

@parkvely00: the wand that i ordered from an online sex shop just got delivered to my house. 1 like and i’ll give it to wonjae oppa and tell him it’s a back massager.

@parkvely00: MY DAD ALMOST COOKED WITH THE WEED BUTTER I LEFT ON THE COUNTER OH MY GOD

@parkvely00: i was eating ice cream cones with kairi and a little bit of her ice cream fell on top of a toddler’s head and she just kept on walking.

@parkvely00: does anyone have that video of the old man selling turtles on a street corner? asking for my mental health.

@parkvely00: i say that i’m staying on top of my coursework, but deep down, i can’t concentrate on a single assignment because all of my brain cells are dedicated to watching dog grooming videos until further notice.

@parkvely00: i just learned one (1) tiktok dance and i’m pretty sure that i’ve broken one knee, sprained both ankles, and my lungs are going to collapse at any second so if i don’t become the korean charlie d’amelio i’m going to be fucking pissed

@parkvely00: how do you tell someone that their newborn baby strongly resembles an egg without seeming like a total bitch?

@yhjunghwa​ liked this post for a starter!

there are a few things that yena truly hates, but being forced to attend fancy galas filled with seoul’s snobbiest wins first place with flying colors. there isn’t a single thing that she likes about these events - the smell of expensive perfume is far too strong, the older generation spends the entire time bragging about their children’s accomplishments, and the younger generation flexes their most recent trips abroad. perhaps yena wouldn’t mind these things as much if it weren’t for her family’s financial struggles. maybe, just maybe, if things were like how they used to be in her household, she would be able to enjoy these events more without a shroud of secret jealousy enveloping her spirit.

she’s barely been at the event for ten minutes when she gets the overwhelming urge to get high. these gatherings are absolutely unbearable sober, but at least if she were high, she wouldn’t have to feel all of her muscles tensing up on her. with the signature scowl etching her face, she slips away from the monotonous conversation her and her parents were engaged in with another family and makes her way to the french doors leading to the balcony. once there, she pushes the doors open and finds a figure of a woman sitting out there alone.

upon closer inspection, she realizes that it’s no other than olympic gold medalist eun junghwa. despite the fact that they’re from the same neighborhood, she doesn’t know much about her except for the fact that she took home the gold and has a rumor on the internet about her being bald - which yena finds to be unequivocally hilarious.

without a proper invitation, yena sits next to junghwa and pulls a pre-rolled blunt and a lighter out of her bra. she obnoxiously spreads her legs apart and rests her elbows on her knees - from her current position, it’s hard to believe that she’s currently donning a designer, chiffon gown and christian louboutin heels. as she’s lighting her blunt, she holds it in between her lips and her eyebrows furrow in concentration. once lit, the blunt is akin to a one-way ticket to paradise, and she inhales. the smoke that she exhales thereafter takes away all of the stress and anxiety that was building up inside of her anatomy prior, and she rests her back onto the bench as she prepares to get wrapped up in the bubble of euphoria.

yena glances at junghwa and momentarily studies her features. although yena has unwarranted negative feelings towards many of the individuals inhabiting yangcheon hill, she can’t deny how beautiful the people living there are. her gaze falls onto junghwa’s hair, and she can’t help but to reach out and tug on a lock of it. her voice is tinged with a layer of pure curiosity as she speaks, “is this... real?”

please like this post for a random starter! it might take me a while because i’m super busy, but i want more interactions.

also, i will be getting to replies, honesty hour questions, and plotting messages as soon as possible. i’m neurodivergent so my brain is constantly scrambled, but i’m trying my best! ♡

reblogging for anyone who hasn't seen this yet! also, i feel like steamy, hot GARBAGE because i'm so slow with plotting omg... i apologize, i'm just feeling a little overwhelmed klfjldkjs i'm getting to all of my plotting messages now. ♡

hello everyone! my pen name cin and i’m excited to be here! my muse, yena, is practically a living, breathing contradiction lmao. the meanings of her name include elegant, graceful, and delicate, but she’s the exact opposite of all of those things. she’s vulgar, manspreads while she’s sitting next to other people (which she blames on constantly playing the cello, when really, it’s because she’s inconsiderate of other people and their space), dislikes try hards even though one could argue that she tries entirely too hard to seem edgy, and she was never one to engage in stereotypically “ladylike” behaviors. underneath her exterior, she just feels overwhelmed and misunderstood most of the time. overall, i’m hoping to develop her and see how much she changes through the interactions that she has with all of your lovely muses. if you’d like to have any short, sms threads or would like to plot, please feel free to reach out on discord!  𝒌𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒉𝒐#2281. below the cut, you’ll find some bullet points to further explain this muse and how she’s such a snarky, little headass. ♡

Keep reading

A lot of the time, you don’t register the important moments in your life as they happen. You only see that they were important when you look back.

open starter.

open to: everyone.

genre: comedy/horror.

connection: friends.

plot: yena convinced your muse to break into an abandoned theme park and go ghost hunting with her, despite the fact that neither of them really know what they’re doing.

as much as yena loves the rain, she also loathes it since it tends to get in the way of things that she wants to do, and god knows, obstacles stopping her from anything that she wants are a cause for dramatics from her. she couldn’t help but to start complaining, and the disdain in her voice while grousing about the precipitation cascading from the clouds was constant. permanent. and there was no way it was going anywhere any time soon.

the tension winding throughout her anatomy was evident in the way that her thumbs were so tightly wound around her backpack straps that her knuckles were protruding. the strides in her step began to slow as they finally approached the wire gates of the abandoned amusement park, her voice finally sounding after they were officially presented with this hurdle. “this rain fucking blows. all it’s doing is preventing us from being able to grip the bars and hop over, and with all of the heavy equipment in our backpacks…” her voice trailed off as she grabs a hold of two slippery, metal rods extending from the ground beneath them.

after a handful of fruitless attempts to hoist herself up, she eventually succumbs to defeat  —  and although unfortunate, she can’t help but to view this fate as validation for her bout of complaints prior. ultimately, she ends up turning around to face her companion, her thumbs finding their way around the straps of her backpack once again as she speaks to them. “well, we have no choice but for you to pick me up and help me over. after i’m over, i can pick the lock on the other side of the gate and let you in. got it?” before they’re given the chance to respond, she’s already turned back around and staring at the gates again, her arms stretched over her head and lithe fingers twisting around a pair of soaked metal rods. “i swear that if we don’t come across at least one ghost, i’m suing the entire country of south korea.”

       in order to help everyone get settled in and to get to know each other’s characters better, we thought it would be good to start off our first meme with an HONESTY HOUR MEME! by reblogging this post, your character will have to answer truthfully to anything and everything that is sent, so this will be the perfect opportunity for further character development. please note that all asks and answers will exist in a vacuum space, meaning that this will not be public knowledge nor will it affect your muse IC wise.

    this meme will run for about two weeks – until saturday, SEPTEMBER 26. after that, you will not be allowed to send any more questions, but you can continue to answer any remaining asks in your inbox!

    we ask that you try to send something to everyone who reblogs this, so that everyone feels included in this meme! go wild with the questions, and we hope everyone has fun with this!

hello everyone! my pen name cin and i’m excited to be here! my muse, yena, is practically a living, breathing contradiction lmao. the meanings of her name include elegant, graceful, and delicate, but she’s the exact opposite of all of those things. she’s vulgar, manspreads while she’s sitting next to other people (which she blames on constantly playing the cello, when really, it’s because she’s inconsiderate of other people and their space), dislikes try hards even though one could argue that she tries entirely too hard to seem edgy, and she was never one to engage in stereotypically “ladylike” behaviors. underneath her exterior, she just feels overwhelmed and misunderstood most of the time. overall, i’m hoping to develop her and see how much she changes through the interactions that she has with all of your lovely muses. if you’d like to have any short, sms threads or would like to plot, please feel free to reach out on discord!  𝒌𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒉𝒐#2281. below the cut, you’ll find some bullet points to further explain this muse and how she’s such a snarky, little headass. ♡

- when she was younger, she’d often just do a lot of weird shit in school, including but not limited to: acting like a horse, unironically naruto running through the halls lmfaooo, rolling around on the ground in the middle of lessons, and putting food on her face to do impressions and entertain her classmates. due to this, she often feels like she doesn’t fit in with many people. she says that she couldn’t give less of a fuck what anyone thinks about her, but that’s incredibly untrue.

- despite being the youngest child, she absolutely hates being babied and treated like she’s a child. however, she naturally has youngest child syndrome, and was constantly spoiled by her parents which causes her to be a bit peeved when she doesn’t get what she wants.

- contrary to popular belief, she cries. a TON. but never in public, because she’s far too concerned with seeming like a cool, tough girl.

- she learned how to forge documents in her spare time a few years ago, and now she uses her magic to create medical documents to allow her and others gain access to cannabis products.

- all she really wants is to finally feel understood by other people, but her nasty attitude scares a lot of people away before they can get close enough to allow her to speak. this year, she’s been trying to be a bit nicer, but she’s 100% struggling with it.

- she currently attends therapy to help her cope with everything that’s been going on in her life. her previous two therapists couldn’t handle her behavior, but the therapist she has now doesn’t take absolutely any shit from her and is always painfully blunt and honest while trying to help her.

- she doesn’t get uncomfortable talking about death and loves all things dark and creepy. she would be perfectly content with eating fried chicken and drinking beer in the middle of a graveyard.

- she loves anyone who’s eccentric or different from most people that she’s used to being surrounded by.

- she thinks that she’s special because she loves western artists that were popular in the 70s and 80s, such as queen and teena marie. someone needs to give this girl a newsflash and let her know that she’s not as special as she thinks she is lmao.

- she swears that she has a great judgment of people, but in reality, she’s terrible at reading others and her intuition really shouldn’t be trusted that much.

tags.