STIGMA 1977 dir. Lawrence Gordon Clark

from The Agony of Intimacy by Jeanette Winterson, published in Granta

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it’s so interesting to think about the contemporary writers you shouldn’t read — j. k. rowling, margaret atwood, hanya yanagihara, chimamanda ngozi adichie, ottessa moshfegh… i’m trying to think of a male writer, hang on.

i can’t.

Carl Holsøe, bekleme biçimleri

It’s really no wonder that men cling desperately to the institutions that don’t allow women out from under their brutality. Separatism terrifies them for good reason. Look at single-sex male spaces in prisons, schools, and industries. When men/boys are alone together, they quickly create castes where they treat their lowers like they treat women in broader society - and the abuse knows no limits. It’s often sexual, often fatal, and it always revolves around degradation. Males recreate patriarchy, even when they’re alone together. They’re terrified of their own brutality and need to use women as a buffer.

tidnish mountain by rob macinnis

De-center men. That’s all the advice I can give. De-center males and focus on yourself. For the love of You.

when internet people are like “i love gothic literature but i hate anything that discusses incest, sexual violence, oppression, misogyny, abuse, torture, gore, murder, or death”

Still life with flowers in a greek vase: allegory of spring (detail) 1817. Georgius Jacobus Johannes van Os

from now I’ve got to start chasing regular discomfort, because otherwise comfort isn’t comfort but stagnation. you can’t have one without the other. to be challenged is to grow and it’s the only way to actually feel at peace

daily reminder that 'porn addiction' is a myth perpetuated by far right evangelical groups.

As long as your porn consumption is not interfering with your work or social life, it's considered normal.

Actual psychology research shows that people who identify as 'porn addicts' don't actually consume more porn than average. What do they have in common? They were raised to view sex as shameful.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-04888-001

men are not deep. any depth you see in men is your own projection

this is the mindset i wish for all heterosexual and bisexual women

"How can something be there, and then not be there? How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?"

– Doc Luben, Love Letters or Suicide Notes