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Jamil Viper.
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I’m in love with monster
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3D Art Experience
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Had this really funny idea that Ed and Al meet Selim Bradley as kids and they managed to drag Selim into a really profound and helpful discussion about alchemy and Selim is like 'hmm these twerps are pretty smart we could use them as sacrifices' and decides from then on that he's going to be the Elrics' Best Friend
So he twists Bradley's arm into letting him go to Resembool every once in a while to hang out with the Elrics and meanwhile the rest of Resembool is quaking in their boots like "???? The Fuhrer's son??? Wtf is the Fuhrer's son doing here??" Meanwhile Ed and Al had wave at Selim and his 50 bodyguards like 'hey what's up we're eating dirt so you wanna join in'
And by the time Trisha dies Selim is like 'perfect this is my chance to convince them to commit alchemy's greatest taboo it'll probably take a lot of convincing though because those boys are so smart' and then he goes to Resembool and the boys have literally already done it
So they join the military and that means the Elrics get to hang out with Selim more often and he's like 'crap now I have to age my body a little to keep up appearances' which is hilarious because he's been an Actual Toddler for so long that whenever he goes to report to Father Father is like 'who the actual hell are you'
And then he doesn't plan for the fact he actually starts to like the Elrics like they're growing on him and they get him out of his Good Little Fuhrer's Son Lessons to play hooky and hang out and maybe bring down an Evil Alchemist or two with The Boys
So what I'm saying is Pride enters this Rebellious Teenager phase by hanging out with some Bad Influences (Edward and Alphonse Elric)
Also I think it would be funny if Ed sat teenage Selim down and they bitched about their dads together (even more funny if Greedling is also there that's four times the Dad Slander)
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Had Klaus not come back to life Diego was going to carry his wrapped body to his siblings, dump him on the floor, and then flick the carpet open to unravel his brother’s corpse while their siblings look on in horror as Klaus rolls away like he’s Cleopatra and I just. Diego’s plans are simultaneously the best and the worst.
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‘if the umbrella academy had mobile phones each season would be a single episode’
luther fell for a 419 scam, five is a boomer, klaus would charge his to an absolute maximum of 13% and diego would instantly be addicted to candy crash, the only thing on that group chat would be allison’s wordle scores
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he did say that he became number one twice, so he probably got the portrait in the past, when he was still number one.
but also in the original timeline five got a portrait over the mantelpiece because he disappeared, and i always interpreted that more of a warning to the other kids rather than a remembrance piece. same thing with the ben statue from season one, he used his death to make the team feel guilty and feel like they were failures.
so maybe its reggie being like “he was number one but he sucked so i’m gonna rub salt in the wound by putting up this gigantic portrait so that he will always be reminded of the fact that he is not good enough.”
Okay but real question for the sparrow timeline, why was there a painting to Ben over the mantlepiece?
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Listen I know in light of other things it was more subploty than anything but can we PLEASE talk about Lila and Diego. The fact that Lila was actually terrified of being pregnant and was still very much in love with Diego so she decided to test him by throwing a kid at him and seeing how well he could Dad. When she finally admitted she was pregnant and Diego realizing that he CAN be a real father and he CAN have a life with Lila if he wants to. Lila worried that she’s going to turn out like her mom and Diego worried that he’s going to turn out like his dad, the solidarity, the realization that they can keep each other in check. The two of them supporting each other and being absolutely insane and chaotic together. Diego leaping into action every time Lila is in danger and considering her and the baby before anything else, even risking his relationship with her to keep her safe. Lila being furious with him for being so overprotective but still loving him anyway. The two of them sticking together through thick and thin in the middle of all the family drama and trying to find their own place while the world is ending. And the finale of them realizing they DO have time, they CAN make a life for themselves and raise a child and just be together and not have to worry about time travel or the world collapsing. I just. God. They are the couple ever,
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Stanley gets even funnier after the reveal like imagine your mum in berlin 1989 went on a holiday for a few days and the new band drummer says "Hey wanna go to america for a few days?" And you're a kid you say yeah turns out she means TIME TRAVEL!! And you agree to pretend to be some guy's kid and he's cool you're into this and THEN. You shoot his brother in the chest.
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this is probably my worst idea but Aphrodite kids with celestial bronze-tipped acrylics so they can use their fingernails as weapons
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Listen. I hope the TV show has like… the tiniest subplot of Sally Jackson. I think Percy might be the ~tiniest~ bit of an unreliable narrator about her in the best way possible. He thinks she’s the sweetest most angelic person in the world (and she is) but I also have this ongoing belief that Sally kicks ass when her son isn’t looking. i.e.
Percy’s voiceover: I had never heard my mom say an unkind word to anyone or even raise her voice <3
*flashback to baby Percy sleeping and Sally is beating a robber with a frying pan*
Percy’s voiceover: You see, my mom always does the right thing. She just isn’t a violent person <3
*flashback to when Percy is 3 and Sally is shooting a monster out her car window as she drives away with Percy looking a picture book upside down, jamming to the music turned up all the way*
Percy’s voiceover: She’s never even yelled <3
*flashback to Sally sweetly asking Percy to wait in the car before screaming at a school principal for expelling her son of some wild bullshit that wasn’t his fault*
Percy’s voiceover: I bet that’s why my dad fell in love with her. Because she’s the nicest <3
*flashback to Sally flicking off the sea*
Sally: Pay child support, you coward.
I just FULLY believe that Sally is 100% the kindest, most patient, sweetest person when it comes to people who have good vibes (and perhaps even to the worst person up to a certain point) but she is also an absolute NIGHTMARE to those who fuck around and find out.
Bonus:
Sally: I have a *surprise* for you Gabe!
Percy voiceover: I told you. My mom always does the right thing <3
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You know what I want from the PJO show?
Just subtle references to as many Greek adaptions as they can possibly stuff in there.
I want Hades to get angry and have a burst of blue fire surround him like in Hercules.
I want Amber Gray from Hadestown to play Persephone.
Apollo is casually reading Song of Achilles in the background or Hermes has a package to deliver to Circe via the Madeline Miller books.
If we get to see HoO, I want Piper to look into her knife and randomly see Orlando Bloom as a reference from when he was in the movie Troy.
Just give a subtle hint of truth to literally every adaption made over the years as much as possible. Have Liam Neeson appear saying he's Zeus and then the PJO actor playing Zeus just being like 'I did actually look like you once, but no' lmao.
In the background, have some of the PJO the Musical's songs play.
In HoO again, have the Amazons reference Diana who became 'something of a hero' to mortals. Ya know? *banging on the writers room* can you hear me? Guys? Can you hear me-? I know it's a copyright issue but - PLEASE LET ME FINISH!!
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Theory about TUA:
I think Vanya isn’t the only one who had her powers suppressed by Daddy Hargreeves. In the alternate timeline at the beginning of season two where the world gets destroyed by nukes, each of the Hargreeves siblings display a much higher level of control over their powers than we’ve ever seen before, some of them using their powers in ways that the real Hargreeves never could (at least so far).
Keep reading
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Diego "worked" at the Commission for less than a day and already learned everyone's names, their opinions on the coup, and had the time to create a special handshake with Herb.
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ok but can we just talk about how deep reggie’s abuse of his children goes? like first, we have ben, who has repeatedly established himself to be the kindest and most understanding among his siblings. despite the fact that klaus has been treating him more of a show pony than a brother for most of season 2, ben still tries to be the angel on his shoulder and offers advice when he can. he even lets it slide when klaus tells their siblings that he didn’t travel back with them, even though it’s so obvious that the remark hurt, because klaus of all people knows just how much ben misses their family, misses being alive.
but the minute klaus insinuates that he sounds just like their father, he finally shows an emotion that is anything but calm, and even goes so far as to attack his brother. this alone should be enough of an indicator as to what kind of man hargreeves was in life.
oh, and should i add that reggie just upped and decided to turn ben’s funeral–a painful occasion on it’s own��into yet another scarring life lesson for the ones he’d left behind? just imagine being shy of seventeen and having at least half the guilt in the universe weighing you down, and ben–who is right there–just wanting to tell all of them that it was “never your fault, diego, please don’t listen to him, we both know you’re better than that,” but of course he can’t, because he’s nothing more than a ghost now, so yes, welcome to powerlessness.
five goes missing and what does he do? nothing. absolutely nothing, aside from having a painting commissioned, but who’s to say it wasn’t a memorial like ben’s statue and more of a warning to the other children instead? something along the lines of look at how this brat disobeyed me; do you want to disappear, too?
there’s luther, who even after everything their father has done to them–to him, most of all–still manages to make up bland, half-baked excuses that he himself is starting to lose faith in, and all that rage and resentment keeps stewing inside him until he reaches his breaking point, rips off his shirt, and yells at his father to look at me! look what you did to me! and it’s even more heartbreaking because reggie does look, he just doesn’t care
let’s move on to allison. it was mentioned at one point that she was something of a daddy’s girl growing up, and even though we aren’t really shown much of their time together, remember when he made her rumor vanya? how she clearly didn’t want to? imagine being so heartless as to instruct a four-year-old child to wipe her sister’s precious memories, all because you were scared of being unable to control her.
and who’s to say there were no repeats after that: of allison turning people’s minds and bodies against them, every single one under her father’s orders as part of her “training”, and when allison fails because her conscience has finally caught up with her, who would stop him from hurting her?
definitely not her siblings or grace, and certainly not pogo.
moving on: oh god, klaus. it’s really not a no-brainer why his son barely has any respect for him, even going so far as to put out his cigarette in his father’s ashes as a final fuck you, because who could respect somebody who forced you to confront your worst fears at thirteen with no safety net whatsoever, even as you screamed yourself hoarse in that damp tomb, with only your nightmares for company
later on, when klaus honest-to-goodness dies and meets him for the first time after so many years, what’s the first thing reggie does? insult him. no “i imagined it’d be a few more years before you joined me here” or “are you okay? why are you even dead, son?”
instead, reggie debunks his accusations as excuses and outright states that he will not accept a single one. instead, he reminds klaus that he is–and always will be–his father’s greatest disappointment, that him never achieving his full potential was klaus’ fault and his alone.
and when klaus chastises him for being so harsh on them and leaving luther on the moon as an easy out for his shortcomings, what’s his greatest takeaway? that he should have burned every single package luther sent back to earth instead of keeping them under the floorboards.
no apologies, no owning up to his mistakes whatsoever.
he just deflects his child’s accusations, and even attempts to gaslight klaus once more into thinking that everything he did was to make them stronger and how dare you disobey me, i made you children what you are today and this is how you repay me? what a bunch of disobedient and ungrateful brats you all are indeed
don’t even get me started on vanya’s treatment at his hands. otherwise we’ll be here forever.
and then, we have diego.
time and time again, diego has proven himself to be tough and capable; whose soft interior is something of a privilege bestowed only to those he truly cares for. and even though he’s come so far in life and helped so many people, the minute reggie takes a shot at him with a few select words?
nope, never mind, he’s eleven-years-old and back at the academy again.
the man sitting in front of him may not be their father just yet but it’s the exact same words he’s heard for most of his life, the exact same weaknesses gleaned from a single glance, and even in an alternate timeline, his father just knows where to strike, every observation landing dead center like diego’s precious knives.
(and judging from his siblings’ reactions, this speech is just a rehash of something they’ve all heard before, but it definitely doesn’t mean that it’s going to hurt their brother any less.
no, it will hurt more because he’d actually thought he was finally untouchable after all these years.)
i mean, just look at him: at the way his shoulders shrink inward subconsciously, the excited light in his eyes fading, his stutter reappearing. and despite the fact that he has spent a decade away from this bitter old man, it only takes a minute for his hard earned self-worth to crumble, and suddenly it’s so clear to us just how deep his self-esteem issues go:
because aware or not, everything diego has done and said so far (“he’s an asshole; i’m amazing”) has simply been his way of coping with the fact that no matter how many acts of heroism he performs as an attempt to live up to the “perfect superhero” mold reggie forced them to fill at such a young age, their father will never view them with anything less than contempt, not even luther who barely had to work for approval and their father’s twisted version of “love” because he used to be his loyal lapdog favorite, and that is the real reason why i’m gonna hate this jackass forever, in this essay i will
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five is the eldest sibling because time travel made him mentally the oldest
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klaus is the eldest sibling because time travel made him physically the oldest
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luther is the eldest sibling because hargreeves treated him like the oldest sibling and as a result he has Oldest Sibling Vibes
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Allison using her powers on racists so that her and her husband can thrive:
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Raymond Chestnut has to be one of the most understanding men in the 60’s if not ever. I mean his wife had a never ending stream of brothers, most of which were white. And I mean that was NOT the norm back then, and when Allison told him she was from the future he could have run for the hills, and even when he did need time away from her because he was overwhelmed, he didn’t abandon her. The whole time he was trying to understand in a time period where these realities would have been even harder to comprehend. Your wife is from 40 years into the future, has so many white family members, doesn’t even flinch when needing to dispose of a dead white guy, can fight like an assassin, her family members appear out of nowhere, and she tells him the world is ending? And he never once was like “woman you’re crazy you need to go to the nut house” like we know a lot of men would have done back then, some even would still react that way right now. He saw his wife use superpowers and yes he did get freaked out after she abused her powers, but he still loved her and still tried to understand her life, one that is so very far from the one he thought she had, the one he signed up to have with her. That man could have ran away but he didn’t. He still loved her right up until the very end when she had to leave. He wouldn’t trade the year they had together and that’s why he was the best new character I will not take any criticism thank u
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You know what? Ray is a trooper for not loosing his shit in episode 8.
I mean, his wife uses her super power (which he just learned about VERY recently) to kill someone in their home. Then her brother turns up, acting like it’s no big deal, asking if they’re going to burn the body or bury it.
Then they have to wrap up the dead guy in Ray’s favorite rug and his wife is talking about how heavy dead people are and he’s just trying to hold it together so he makes a joke about whether she has a lot of practice dealing with dead bodies, only she doesn’t laugh like it’s a joke and her brother just laughs and goes, “Yeah.”
And then, as if the situation wasn’t weird enough already, his wife’s brother just looks into thin air and says, completely out of the blue, “It was like sex with one of the lesser Baldwins. I mean, you can feel him clattering around in there, but do you really care?”
And then his wife’s OTHER brother who you didn’t even know existed at this point, teleports into your home with a tiny accountant. The brother says he has seen the future and that his wife’s sister is going to blow up a federal building and that’s going to cause world war three. Then the time accountant promises to take care of the dead body and shampoo his rug.
I mean, what a day!
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