me: haha oh god this is so bad im making so many unsupported claims and pulling all this analysis out of my ass

my prof in the margins: excellent analysis!

me: 

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

i love working to the sound of someone else losing their marbles. this is my favorite genre of youtube video

I’m crying over this picture

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

WAIT PEOPLE ON TUMBLR ARE REAL FUCKING PEOPLE

Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.

i was so good at this water sort mobile game and i’m stuck on level like 348 and i’m convinced this one is impossible. i was stuck on it for weeks like a year ago and then quit and came back to it recently with a new hunger and vengeance and it’s kicking my ass i swear

I think a lot of men on here have never had actual friendships with women and it shows 😬

BRUH a dude I know from work came in for the first time in months and I thought he looked different but couldn't figure out why?? So I asked if he'd changed his hair and he was like "BITCH I GOT TOP SURGERY"