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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander was patient. He listened to everything she said, and he suddenly wished he could kill this man. Patton Grear. The more details she gave him, the angrier he became. All she had done was allow someone to leave a party earlier. That was her big offense that left her bleeding.

“Because, Sophia didn’t want to see you get hurt. She blamed herself that you were being hurt.” Xander didn’t know Sophia, but he did know that she was a gentle person, very caring. Especially by what Lana was telling him. “You told her to leave because you cared, and she apologized for the same reason.”

“No, no you didn’t deserve it at all Lana.” Xander said that with absolute certainty. “Neither of deserved any of it. It isn’t your fault that man is a maniac and it isn’t Sophia’s fault either. He’s crazy, a monster. You deserved none of this Lana, not a single fucking scratch.” He hands were shaking and he was so beyond angry. But he managed to stay as calm as he could.

She continued tell him what had happened. Xander wondered how hard it would be to just chop off Patton’s dick and be done with it. It would certainly solve quite a few problems for both Sophia and Lana. That Xander was pretty sure of. “Shh, you’re safe now. You are safe here.” Patton would have to kill him before he got to Lana.

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana’s eyes were wide with terror as the events of the day just kept playing behind her eyes relentlessly. Xander took one of her hands gently and lowered it to her lap, laying his own hand on top of hers. She looked at his hand, and forcefully, the corner of her lips rose in a small lopsided grin. It was weak, but it was something to show the boy that he appreciated him staying there with her and listening.

“I… he stripped me and tied me to a chair, then So-Sophia… the same guy brought her in and stripped her and tied her to this little bed right in front of me. She kept apologizing, Xander…” Lana shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. But she blinked and held them down, still not allowing for herself to be fully as weak as she wanted to be at that moment. “Why was she apologizing? I was the one that was sorry… If- If I hadn’t told her to l-leave, she would be fine…”

The blonde shifted her blue eyes to meet Xander’s brown ones. He was listening intently, but he didn’t say much in response. She assumed this was because he wanted her to continue. “He… He said he wanted to play a game,” Lana felt as if she could vomit at just the thought of how sick-minded the man was, “If I screamed, cried… made too much noise, he would rape Sophia… If she disobeyed him… he would come back to torture me…”

Lana’s eyes flashed with anger, then sorrow all at once, “I don’t understand why she didn’t just let him keep hurting me. She should have… I deserve it. Don’t I?” She quickly looked away from him, because she couldn’t stand to see the emotion that might signal in his eyes. She was afraid to see any look of shame there.

“First the… nipple clamps… then the needle…” Lana sighed, this was where it got too gruesome for her to even explain in a calm manner. Tears started streaming down her cheeks uncontrollably, she couldn’t stop them. And her breathing quickened as she practically hyperventilated between her words and phrases, “Then he… he made me… he put his… in my mouth…”

She was hysterical just thinking of it and once again that taste filled her mouth. Even the vodka had not washed it away. She was sure nothing ever would. “I couldn’t breath… I couldn’t… And there was a knife at the back of my… my neck…” A sob wracked Lana’s shoulder as she lifted her hands to bury her face in them. She shook her head and muffled the words, “I had to breathe! I had to pull back…”

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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There was a sudden hurricane inside of Xander. He was glad that all the pieces were coming together. But he also hated the details of what she was telling him. he was seeing the true face of Radley, he was witnessing jut how horrible this place could be to people with heart.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t know of Patton Grear. The name s whispered in fear around Radley, never too loudly i case the devil himself would here. Patton was known for being a psychopath. He was a torture artist, charged with keeping the most difficult of patients in line. IT was also rumored that there was a long standing war between Charles Spradley and Patton.

From what Lana was saying, the war made sense. Charles was another hot topic in Radley. The guards hated him, the therapist wanted him dead, and Patton Grear made it a mission to make his life hell Sophia Leonard was the woman Charles was in love with. If Patton targeted Sophia, it was no wonder Charles hated Patton so much.

Xadner wold be the same way. Xander was already starting to be.

“You were just being a decent human being...” He said softly, he wanted to hold her but wasn’t sure if he should. So instead, he placed his hand over hers. “Not your fault that this place is run by soulless bastards. Patton is disgusting, and someday, he’s gonna get exactly what he deserves.”

“Keep going. Get everything out Lana.”

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana closed her eyes, the expression on her face something of doom. He asked what had hapened and she couldn’t blame him for that. If he’d come to her in the state she was in, she would want answers, too. She sighed, trying not to let the flash of memories in her mind effect her too badly. “At the Halloween party… before I met with you… I made a mistake. Or– I don’t know if it was a mistake, but… maybe I made my true colors too visible.”

She gulped as Xander went on and on about how she wasn’t fine. She knew that he was right. She was almost as far from fine as she’d been back when her boyfriend had betrayed her and almost sold her off as a slave. She could hear the fury behind his voice, and a small part of her felt worried for the boy, because that temper could so easily get him into trouble here. Another part of her was glad for his protectiveness. It made her feel… safe.

“I told Sophia Leonard to leave the party despite Patton Grear’s orders for her to be at the party all night…” Lana’s voice broke at Patton’s name, almost as if the name got stuck in her throat for just a moment. Lana shook her head. She refused to look at Xander directly. She didn’t want for him to see her this weak. “She wasn’t supposed to leave, but she was hurt and… I just wanted to help,” Lana tried to defend herself, almost as if Patton were sitting right there. As if Xander were the person accusing her of her crimes.

She remembered the position Sophia had been sprawled out into, vulnerable and helpless. And she remembered every single time that poor woman was raped roughly just because Lana couldn’t hold back her cries. And she remembered, blood on her hands, licked off, slurped off… Lana brought her hands up and stared at them in horror, gaze far off, “H-He made her… l-lick my blood….”

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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“I promise you I am. It’s all I ever hear. Whispers and jokes. I’m about to lose my mind.” He smiled slightly at her. He was sick of it. Sick of the guards thinking someone else’s hell was funny. He wondered if they would laugh if the roles were reversed. He was sure that they wouldn’t. No one would laugh if they lived the life of a patient here.

“Maybe, he’s living and breathing. That much is true.” All in all, Malcolm was a living person. He had survived on that island, despite the odds. “Please, correct me if I’m being too forward here. But while Malcolm is alive, he’s not the same person he was. In that way, you have lost him.”

Xander didn’t know what it was like to lose anyone. His family didn’t really matter to him,if he lost them he was sure that it wouldn’t matter that much to him. His father was abusive anyways, he would be upset by the death of his mother. But it wouldn’t be a heartbreaking loss. Lana maybe, if he lost her. But if anything, she was going to lose him one of these days.

“Trust that I’m dumb enough to get myself killed?” Xander said jokingly, he even smiled a bit. “I have a temper but I’m not much of a fighter really. I can be intimidating, sometimes violent. I’m just not good at being violent yet.” He was just joking with her, trying to distract from the fact htat she was right. IF it came down to the two of them, there wasn’t a lot either of them could do to spare the other.

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Paige could sense the anger in his words even though she couldn’t hear the tone of his voice. She wondered who exactly this anger was directed at. Wondered whether he was really just that sick of hearing the ghost joke or maybe he blamed her and Malcolm for the existence of the joke in the first place. She just nodded her head at him softly, “M-Maybe you’re almost as sick of it as I am…”

Every time someone dared to bring it up to her, they were taunting her for the most painful experiences of her life thus far. Torturing her with the memories of the boy she loved diving off a cliff for her. Torturing her even further with the thought that he would never be the same. He was a ghost, alright, but only in her mind. No one else save for maybe Charles deserved to call him such.

Once again, Paige’s eyes widened slightly. He apologized for her loss, something only Charles had done thus far. She sighed, and tears came to her eyes as the image of Malcolm, smiling and happy and loving, came to her mind. The image of him just before he dove from the cliff, signing that he loved her…

“He’s… He’s alive,” Paige nodded her head and forced a smile as if she had nothing to complain about. The boy she loved had life. He had a heartbeat and breath in his lungs. She should have been happy with just that. Swallowing, Paige shifted once more, “I d-don’t have anything to co-complain about. I… I didn’t lose him. N-Not really…”

She watched his lips moving, and a small part of her felt as if it were pulling her closer to him. He was right. They were alone here, and alone was a dangerous thing to be in a place like this. Paige thought about it for a moment. She wouldn’t have survived half as long if she hadn’t had Malcolm on the island. She would have died long ago. And while Malcolm was much more than just a friend to her, he was an ally in the end. And he had kept her alive.

She would do the same for Xander, and she was almost 100 percent sure, he would do the same for her. “And if it… if it c-comes down to just the two of us, Xander?” Paige sighed, clapping her hands helplessly against her legs, “If we’re just that good..?” A small smile at the boy - but it was a genuine concern of hers. She didn’t want it to come down to a battle between two friends.

#p:paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander watched her incredulously. She was really going to try to play this off wasn’t she? Act like it was nothing, like she hadn’t come to him bleeding and impaled with various object. He had just stitched up her neck and she was acting as if nothing had happened.

“Lana, I don’t mind the hour.” He said. He hadn’t been sleeping anyways, so he didn’t mind coming to help her. “But, if it’s not too much to ask, what happened?” He had to know. He was missing a large part of a puzzle and she had all the pieces.

“Not for me. Patients are sober.” Which was unfortunate. There were days where he really wished he could get wasted and forget where he was. Those were the worst nights. Where Xanders resilience ran low and he felt like he wasn’t going to be able to survive here much longer. Luckily, he always pushed through.

“Lana, you aren’t fine. You’re bleeding, you have holes in your hands, you have stitches on your neck. You are definitely not fine Lana.” He was almost scared. Scared and very angry. But his anger had no direction. It was just a mass in his stomach that refused to be ignored. “Tell me how that’s okay. Because it seems to me that it’s the very opposite of Okay Lana.”

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana let a few tears fall as she felt the needle piercing her skin and weaving through it, pulling one end of the gash on the back of her neck back to the other end. It hurt like hell, but she silently reminded herself that this pain was nothing compared to the pain she’d just endured. Her entire body ached and she wondered for just a split second whether she would die because of these wounds.

But she knew the answer was no. She knew that Patton had made painful markings that would deliberately heal with time. Nothing permanent. Those were probably his orders coming into this. The praying helped to ease the woman’s fears, it always did. When she prayed, she felt suddenly lighter. As if at least half of the worry she carried was suddenly lifted. This was the reason Lana had been a believer. Religion had played a huge role in her recovery from her heroin addiction years ago.

As he finished her stitches, Lana breathed a sigh of relief. It was over, finally. Now she had a decision to make. She could break down before him and show her just how weak she was. Or she could remain strong, bottle it up - this was something Lana had acquired a talent for over the years. She lifted her head, bringing a hand to her cheek and wiping away the tears that had fallen.

“Thanks…” she commented quietly, shaking her head, “S-Sorry for bothering you so late.” She realized that the boy had probably been settling down for the night, and with this gruesome mess, it was possible he wouldn’t sleep a wink now. Shaking her head, Lana bit her bottom lip. She pulled the bottle of vodka up to her lips again, because damn it she needed to numb the pain she felt. She chugged the vodka again, then violently coughed as the burning liquid made its last few drops down her throat and into her stomach.

“Damn…” she commented, a small laugh, “Well i-if you can’t say anything else good about this place, at least they have booze…” She turned her head to face Xander, and she could see the obvious concern on his face. Lana played it off as if she were tough at that moment, rolling her eyes, “What? I’m fine, Xander. Really…”

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander nodded. Pull the skin together and stitch, tie it off when done. It was simple, a very morbid way of mending. He had done practically the same thing when fixing tears in clothing hadn’t he? Now he was just doing it with flesh and blood. Easy right?

If he could punch himself in the face he would. He was scared, nervous. He was about to sew skin back together, and he was shocked that he life had turned out like this. But in a small way, he was grateful that it did. In all of this, he could help Lana. To him that was worth it. Swallowing his fear, he soothed his nerves, shaking hands weren’t good for stitches.

He set to work, moving quickly and efficiently. The, stitches were neat, and he managed to make the rather quickly. He was silently as he sewed. What did he have to say? If Lana wanted to talk to him, she would, and he’d be here for her through it all.

He didn't expect her to start praying though. But he listened as she did. Xander wasn’t religious, he never had been. He wouldn't say he was an atheist either, he just simply didn’t know about religion or gods. It hadn’t been a lesson he was taught in life. But he couldn’t help but sympathize as she prayed. When she was done, he tied off the stitch. “There, sewed up.”

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana was glad the boy was handling this all so well. He could have easily taken a look at her and run for the hills, but he stuck it out. “I… I really appreciate this…” Lana sighed as she shifted so that he could see the gash on the back of her neck. Just thinking about how she got the gash was enough to make her wince. A soft whimper escaped her at the memory, and the taste of Patton suddenly filled her mouth again.

“Fuck. Yes, just pull it together and weave the thread through.. and t-tie it off,” Lana felt tears burning behind her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. But she refused to cry again, at least until Xander finished bandaging her up. She was trying so hard to keep it all together, trying so hard not to crumble before his very eyes. “Pi-Pinch it together and just do it quick, please… It doesn’t have to be perfect, X-Xander…” she’d rather an ugly scar than any longer or enduring this pain.

But she wasn’t sure just what she expected? A small part of her was hopeful that once everything was clean and bandaged, the pain would suddenly stop. A bigger part of her understood that the pain wouldn’t probably end for quite a long time. She bowed her head to give him a better view of the wound, and when she did, she crossed her hands and brought them up to her face.

Lana was once a very religious person, and would go to church every Sunday morning. Now, she had drifted from the church, but she was still religious. And at that very moment, she didn’t care whether or not Xander heard as she quietly started to pray, “Jesus, please help me. Please, I’m not st-strong enough right now, and I… I need help from you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all I’ve done… I know we haven’t talked in so long… Please… Make the pain go away. Make the pain g-go away…” She shook her head slightly at the final words as they came out.

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander sighed and shook his head. “Do you really think I believe their bullshit?” He asked, looking at Paige. “It’s not a ghost, its a person. And frankly, that joke wasn’t good to begin with and has only gotten worse. I’m about done with it.” Xander hated hearing that term. He hated hearing about the so called ghost that haunted the halls.

Truth be told, the ghost was just a boy of unfortunate circumstance. Someone that had been manipulated and brainwashed until he was unrecognizable, even by the person who had loved him most. There was absolutely nothing funny about it. Paige and Malcolm’s entire story, and the bitter conclusion of it, was sad.

And as for Malcolm, it was especially disappointing. From everything Xander had heard, Malcolm had serious potential. He was a good person with a kind heart. He deserved Paige, and Paige deserved him. Then Radley sunk their claws into him and changed him. Ripped him apart and rebuilt him into something sinister. “I know it doesn’t help, and I know you’ve probably heard it. But I’m sorry for your loss, I truly am.”

“Simple. We don’t.” Xander shrugged. “On the island, there are no friends. We just agree not to murder each other and we are set. That doesn’t mean that we can’t help each other in the meantime.” Xander believed it too. He’d never hurt her, never kill her. And the likelihood of one of them getting murdered before they encountered each other were high.

“We are the only two people that know the truth right now. We are alone in this place, even among the patients.”

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Paige sighed, shifting uncomfortably, though she supposed she should trust the hearing boy before her. He knew better whether there was anyone near that would be listening in. She breathed softly, allowing herself to relax just slightly, paying close attention to the movement of his lips as he spoke. A small nod of her head acknowledged what he said silently. Because she couldn’t blame him for wanting to protect the person who’d opened his eyes to this place.

She wondered if Charles had risked telling this boy, and if so, she wondered why just this boy. Had they met? Were they close? Paige visibly cringed as he told her that he knew about her. Thoughts raced through her head: just how much did this boy know of her personal affairs? About Matthew? Malcolm?

He spoke again and her frown became even more prominent. The ghost joke was growing far too old, and she didn’t see the humor in it whatsoever. Shaking her head, Paige turned his offer for a friendship down, “Then you sh-should know that anyone who gets cl-close to me dies. You should just s-s-stay away.”

She hated to sound so cold, but she felt in her heart that she was doing what was best for him. She looked up at him, directly into his eyes, “I’ve k-killed, Xander.” And she didn’t intend on dying anytime soon, no matter how much of a hell hole this place was… “And I-I’ll have to kill again this year. And… s-s-so will you. How’re we su-supposed to be friends if we have to kill each o-other at the end of this y-year..?”

They couldn’t. The answer was plain, simple, and right before their very eyes.

#p:paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander understood why she wanted this to be over with. Hell, Xander wanted this to be over with but he would be careful and precise. She asked him for his help and he wouldn’t disappoint her. But, if he was going to do this right, it might take some time. “I’m going as fast as I can, I swear.” He said, he didn’t know why he had this need to care for her. Then again, he never knew why he felt like he did around Lana.

It was unexpected, the slap to the face. He jumped, the impact wasn’t hard but it was definitely enough to startle him. He blinked a few times and carefully rubbed his chin for a second. “It’s fine, I just... that was unexpected.” He laughed slightly.

“You may want to go easy on the Vodka.” He said, but then again, he’d be drinking too if he could. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. I don’t want you to get dehydrated.” But that was only a half hearted effort to be responsible. In all honesty, if the Vodka made her feel less pain, he was all for it. The fast she was out of pain the better.

Now, for the hard part. He took out the needle and thread, and sat behind her, moving her hair so he could see the cut on her neck. Taking a cloth from the kit, he carefully wiped the blood away to get to the cut. “So, is it basically get the skin together and sew carefully?” He asked. He could sew, he wasn’t a master at it but he could do it.

A Pain So Deep || Xana

The kiss on the top of her head was met with a hesitance. Because frankly, the woman didn’t know at that moment if she wanted anyone’s hands on her at all, nonetheless their lips. But she knew he meant it with the best by it, and she refused to get mad at the sweet boy. So she simply forced a smile up to him and nodded her head slightly.

“Th-That’s okay…” Lana sighed, looking down at her hands which were shaking profusely. Her skin was pale, almost translucent and she was sure she’d lost too much blood already. “Can we just… hurry up and get this over with…?” she whispered, voice sounding a bit defeated. How would she sleep tonight knowing that around any corner, Patton could be hiding, ready to put her through that hell again.

He took her hand and Lana found herself having to look away quickly. She wasn’t squeamish, but she just couldn’t look as he pulled the nails from the middle of her hand. And as he did, she cried out once again loudly, tears sliding down her cheeks. It was instinctive for her hand to spasm at the sudden pain, and as it did, it lifted up directly into Xander’s chin.

“Shit, sorry, sorry…” Lana breathed through the pain, and allowed the boy to compose himself before pulling out the second. Once again, Lana slammed her foot into the ground, biting hard on her bottom lip and holding back the blood-curdling scream that threatened to escape with the searing pain. He took hydrogen peroxide and dabbed at her wounds and she hissed through her teeth.

Finally, he wrapped the bandages around her hands, and she winced, bringing her hands up before her face to see them. The blood from the holes in her hands was already starting to seep through the dressings. Lana sighed, weakly rolling her eyes, “H-Hand me the bottle…” And once he’d handed it to her, she took the cap off slowly, then held the whole bottle of vodka to her lips and chugged down at least five gulps of it.

“Fuck!” Lana exclaimed as she pulled the bottle back from her lips finally, coughing a little, “Alright, so t-take the needle and the thread and let’s get this… bullshit done with.”

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander could see the moment that he truly had her attention. When his words hit home with her and she was actually seeing him. He smiled slightly, as the look of concern and shock crossed her face. Out of everything she could’ve expected him to say, she was obviously not expecting him to know about the games. The information that was supposed to belong only to one patient, now belonged to two.

He had a hard time not pushing her away when she clamped her hand over his mouth. He got jumpy when people touched him unexpectedly. A trait found from childhood abuse.“No one is listening Paige.” He said, when she finally removed her hand from his mouth. “I know better than to tell secrets with witnesses.” He held plenty of them already.

“I know that it seems bad, but I can’t tell you who told me.” He said, looking her in the eye. “An ally, someone that trust. But an exact identity, I can’t give you that. I won’t jeopardize them. They trust me and I trust them.” Lana was a secret he would defend with his life, their room in the library was the only place he dared to feel safe. He would not endanger her.

“I know a lot Paige.” He said. “I know about why the patients are here, I even know some about you, although no details.” His voice was barely a whisper. No one would’ve been able to hear him anyways. “I know why they say my room is haunted by a ghost. I know Paige, and I just want to know someone that knows more than I do. This can be beneficial for both of us, a friendship.”

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Her steps were quick away from the boy, but she was not marching away from him because she didn’t trust him. She was marching away from him because she didn’t want to get close to him and watch him die or vice versa. And because she didn’t want to remember the features of his face and later have to later drive a knife into it. As he approached her, she could feel his presence behind her before he even touched her. She was getting better at sensing people in that way.

She turned quickly around, pulling her arm back from him. She didn’t like to be touched, no matter how harmless the touch may have been. She watched his lips as he spoke, and half-expected to have to tell him to fuck off because she couldn’t just explain to him about the Games, because he wasn’t supposed to know about that yet

But he did.

Paige’s hazel eyes widened and her mouth parted slightly in shock. As he asked his question, she stepped closer and clapped a palm over his lips, looking about in paranoia. If anyone heard him, patient or staff, he would surely regret ever knowing about the Games early. Paige knew what had happened to Charles in retaliation for breaking the news to the patients early last year. She didn’t want the same to happen to Xander.

For some odd reason, she found herself protective over this boy. “Sh-Shut up!” she whispered at him quite aggressively, before looking over her shoulder again. Finally, she pulled her hand back from his mouth, frowning up at the boy with her eyebrows crinkled at the center, “Wh-Who the hell told you?”

#p:paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander didn’t know what he expected from Paige when the Guard came back. Honestly he didn’t. But he knew that he surely didn’t expect her to kick him in the groin. Xander’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and he backed up a step, reminding himself that he shouldn’t ever get on her bad side.

As she stormed away, he watched her and huffed very aspirated. Of course she would storm away. Xander imagined it wasn’t easy for someone who had experienced so much bullshit to trust anyone. But everyone needed an ally and Xander wanted one just as badly as Paige would need one.

He followed her, reluctantly, chasing her through the halls. She was pissed and Xander could see it by the way she walked. He couldn't call out to her, so he ran, catching up to her, he softly touched her arm. He wasn’t trying to startle her, but she was deaf, so there was a limited number of options to get her attention.

“Paige.” He sid, when he was facing her. “Look, I understand reluctance. I understand not trusting people. But I don’t want to go through these games alone, and honestly, you shouldn’t either.” Xander gambled with telling her that he knew about the games. But he figured at least that way she would know he wasn’t being oblivious or naive. “So, are we going to do this alone, or are we at least going to work together?”

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Paige grinned as he spoke and shrugged her shoulders a little. She was surprised, but glad that the boy had stuck around. Because she could use a friend as much as she wanted to avoid getting too close to anyone again. She couldn’t survive this place alone, she needed to build a family around herself. “It’s… n-not easy to pick up,” she was honest with Xander, chuckling softly, “but on-once you know it, it’s… actually pr-pretty fun.”

“I t-taught myself when I was y-y-young,” she stammered, blushing slightly as she realized the conversation was far too much about her. How rude of her not to ask about him, “W-Well, tell me more ab-about–”

She stopped talking suddenly as she saw the guard approaching. By now, she knew most of their faces by heart. Her chest sank as he stopped in front of them, as he smirked and asked his teasing question. She sighed, but didn’t speak up, instead lowering her gaze and hoping that the man would leave them the hell alone.

By the time she looked up, he was slowly making his way away from the two of them. Paige smirked, “Y-You sure know how to get r-r-rid of them…” Unfortunately, the guard heard what she said and didn’t seem to take kindly to it. Or perhaps he just didn’t want to taint his reputation by letting a patient talk him down.

He turned around and headed straight back for them, “You do know who each other are, don’t ya?” He laughed. Paige scowled - of course she knew what the joke was referring to. But she was afraid the man would tell Xander who she was. Afraid he would make her new friend run away. “Because if you don’t know, maybe I can fill ya in.”

“That won’t be needed,” Paige huffed, voice un-stammered as the anger set in. She’d heard this joke one too many times now. She stepped forward, fists balled up and ready to strike, but it wasn’t her fists she decided to use. The guard taunted her, “What, ya gonna hit me, princess?” Paige laughed and shook her head, raising her knee quickly to the man’s groin.

He groaned and collapsed to his knees before her. She gave him a look which was void of any sympathy, then shook her head. A thought came to her head: Xander was a patient, Paige was a patient. One of them would die on the island. They couldn’t be friends. Quickly, without looking back at the boy, Paige decided it was best to simply storm away.

#p:paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander didn’t even realize about the blood until she said something. He looked down at it and wondered if she really thought that he cared. What was blood on a T-shirt for her safety? “I don’t care, it’s alright.” He said, carefully running his hand through her hair, making sure not to touch her neck. “You’re gonna be alright.” He said quietly, and without really thinking about it, he kissed the top of her.

He smiled slightly when she started screaming and cussing at him. At least she still had the ability to be vulgar. If she wasn’t screaming obscenities at him, he’d be even more worried. “I’m sorry about that, I thought you would kinda want to get it over with as fast as possible.” he set the needle aside, trying not to shudder. What kind of monster had done this to her? Xander hated them more and more with each passing moment.

He took her hands carefully, seeing the nails in them like a crucifixion. He had a hard time not leaving and going to kill someone, but he stayed still. “Of course.” He said, placing his fingers around one of the nails, he pulled without warning, figuring if he was going to to it, he might as well get it over with. He moved quickly enough to do it to the second hand as well, so she wouldn’t try to move away from him.

He takes a deep breath and grabs the first aid kit. He pours some Peroxide on a cotton ball, he dabs it carefully on the wound. “Sorry if it stings...” He said quietly. When he was done with both hands, he wrapped them carefully in bandages.

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana stared at Xander as he started with her breasts. She felt slightly uncomfortable with him touching her there in this context, but she pushed those thoughts away. She was forced to push those thoughts away as he took one clamp at a time off of her nipples and all at once they went from numbness to excruciating pain. “Fuck!!!” she hissed through gritted teeth, shifting in her seat on the couch and reaching out to grab onto the cloth of Xander’s shirt.

Once they were off, it took her a few seconds to re-compose herself before she looked up at the boy and breathed loudly, “S-Sorry…” She’d gotten blood on his shirt and her eyes lingered on the small stain for a moment. He asked her a question, but damn was that answer loaded. What happened? Any easier question might have been: what didn’t happen? She shook her head, remaining silent and wiping the tears from her eyes with her bloodied hand.

“Just get it–” she started to instruct Xander, but he pulled the needle out before she could get the rest of her sentence out. It felt as if it didn’t want to be pulled almost, as if it clung to the muscles deep in her arm. She knew that area would hurt for a long time. She knew that it would bruise like a motherfucker. But in that moment, the pain she felt was too intense to keep quiet.

Thank God, it was late enough that no one was in the library. They were safe from prying ears. “Motherfucker!!” she screamed out, kicking one of her feet against the ground hard and repetitively. To Lana, it helped to be loud and vulgar and violent when she was in pain. It relieved a lot of the pent up energy. “Cock-sucking b-b-bitch! Oh my…. FUCK!” she breathed heavily at last and a dizziness came to her head as she realized, she’d been holding her breath that whole time.

She leaned back once more, exhausted and wishing it were over. But she knew, there was still much more to come… “The… the n-nails…” Lana held out her hands to Xander, but she couldn’t look at him. Her eyes were fixated on the most meaningful part of her session. She wished to be a savior, Patton was more right than he probably realized, but did she have what it took to carry the weight a savior had to bear?

“Pull th-them out…” she hissed, “Quickly.” She had always been more of a rip the band-aid kind of girl.

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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How could he tell her that he knew about her but wanted to actually know her? He figured that someone that Radley had treated so badly was actually a decent human. But he knew that she might be reluctant. But everyone needed an ally. A friend. He had Lana of course, but there was something different about their relationship, something a bit more, romantic. Or angry depending on their mood.

He could tell that she didn’t want to talk about whoever it was that Xander reminded her off. Xander wasn’t sure that he should know anyways. He didn’t want her to think of him badly, for some reason a part of him thought that they could be friends. Maybe two decent patients would improve the mood of the pIace.

“Sign language seems confusing to me.” Xander said. He wasn’t good with languages and sin language was like a strange code that confused him so much. “It looks really cool and everything, but I don’t think I could follow it.” Xander smiled slightly. “I’ll make sure not to make your life harder though, so I’ll speak clear as I can.”

Someone approached them, a guard. Xander and Paige both turned. The guard grinned at Xander. “You’re the haunted boy right? You stay in the ghost room?” Someone was always saying something about the room Xander stayed in, it got quite tiring. “Don’t you all ever get sick of that joke?” Xander asked. The guard looked annoyed but it was enough of a sarcastic comment that he walked away. Xander turned back to Paige. “I’m sorry about that. The guards are always bothering me.”

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

At his question, Paige internally slapped herself. She shouldn’t have let the emotional pain she felt show on her face. She’d been trying to train herself not to. Pain was weakness. She needed to learn to hide it, even if she felt it in every inch of her being. “U-Uh… yeah, you just…” Paige shifted uncomfortable crossing one around across her body and holding her opposite elbow with her hand, “You reminded me of s-s-someone…”

More than someone. Because let’s face it: Malcolm was everyone and everything to her. The recognition set in on his face and she could see it. It was obvious that he had heard the rumors about her. She half-expected for him to turn on her in that moment. Half-expected another comment on how she should so simply off herself.

Biting her lip, Paige looked away for only a split second. But when his presence remained before her, she realized the boy probably still wanted a conversation with her. “Y-Yes…” Paige shrugged her shoulders, then made it a show to sign as she spoke just for a moment, “I-I know how to s-sign too, but for h-hearing people, it’s easier to j-j-just read your lips…”

She smiled and shook her head at his comment, waving his apology off as if it hadn’t needed to be spoken, “I-I’ve gotten pr-pretty good at this, don’t w-w-worry. I’ll tell you if… i-if I lose track.”

#p:paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Stay calm? Calm? Xander wanted to go murder someone. He wanted to make them suffer, because what right did they have to do this to someone? Someone so good as Lana? But of course wasn’t that what Radley always did? Hurt good people just for fun. He hated them for that. Xander would always hate them. He lived for the day that Lana brought this place to there knees.

But, she was right. She needed him right then and he could suppress his anger. He could help her. He had to because he knew that no one else in this shit hole would. He was the one she trusted enough to let close when she was vulnerable. He would prove that this faith was justified. He shook his head. “I’m calm, I can help you.”

He took stock of her injuries and tried to set his mind to where it wasn’t awkward that she was naked. She needed help and he could do this. Walking closer to her, he figured the immediate problems were the needle in her arm and the clamps on her breast. He took a deep breath and made his hands as still as possible, carefully removing each clamp.

“If you need stitches could you walk me through it?” He asks her softly. Yeah his father was abusive, but he never cause a cut large enough for Xander to need stitches, so he never learned. Something he was already starting to deeply regret. In this place he would have to learn things like that. He made a mental note to read some books on first aid. After all, he was spending an increasing amount of time in the library.

Xander didn’t have the slightest idea of what she was talking about, but he was willing to listen. Carefully, he rubbed the small of her back. “What happened Lana..” He whispered, but he focused his attention on the needle in her arm. “Lana, I’ve gotta get that needle out. Get ready, cause it’s gonna hurt.” He moved so he was closer to the needle. “Alright, count of 3.” He wasn’t really going to count to three, then she would brace herself for the pain and it would be worse. He knew that.

“One... Two...” At two he pulled the needle out.

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Luckily for Lana, the boy came quickly enough.

She looked up at him, blankly at first, almost as if she didn’t recognize him. Then, a few tears slid from her eyes and she shook her head slowly, carefully. He asked her questions that she was too weak and scared to get into at that very moment. She she could sense that he was worried, but the truth was, he hadn’t seen the half of it just yet.

“I…” she tried to speak, but her throat was too dry so she cleared it, then tried again, “I need you to… to stay calm, because…” Shaking her head, Lana slowly plucked the shirt away from her skin and pulled it over her head with her uninjured arm. She winced at the shearing of the fabric against her nipples and against the burn and against the gash on the back of her neck.

Once the full extent of her injuries could be seen, she looked at Xander once more, “I need your help…” She hated to ask this of him. And she had certainly hoped that the first time he would see her naked would not be like this. She swallowed thickly, leaning backa gainst the couch, then gasping at the pain it caused her.

“I-I think I need stitches…” she whispered, allowing her vulnerability to show through in her voice. To him. Only to him. Lana raised one of her hands and touched the deep cut on the back of her neck, dabbing at the warm blood gushing from it, then holding her fingers up before her eyes ad squinting at them as if she just didn’t understand how any of this had happened.

Breathing heavily, Lana cried, “I tried… I tried to stop him from hurting her… I couldn’t… I…” It had been a long time since Lana had cried like this, too long. And it felt as if the floodgates were truly opening slowly.

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander was reading in his room when he heard a small shuffle noise. He looked up from his book, but the door hadn’t opened. He thought it may have been Lana, who had already proved her tendency to walk in with no invitation and no announcement. But then again, she couldn’t risk coming here. Not after... everything.

He set his book down and stood up, looking around, he noticed the rectangle on the floor. A note pushed under the door. It had to be Lana, no one else would need to communicate with him like that. Intrigued, he picked the note up. He looked at the keycard and knew it was to the office in the library. She had finally gotten him a car so he didn’t have to knock. He smiled slightly. That was their haven, their only place of safety where they could be alone.

He unfolded the note and read it. Once. Twice. Three times. His heart hammered in his chest, he palms were already starting to sweat. Was she okay? What had happened? Had someone figured out she was CIA? Or had they learned what happened between them in the Library? He clenched his fist and left his room, walking as fast as he could without drawing attention, he was glad that he opened the Library and it was empty in the building.

He made his way behind the bookshelves and through the aisles till he found the entrance to the office. He slid the key card and stepped through. When he did, the smell of blood assaulted him. His eyes found Lana, and he felt a mix of being sick to his stomach from fear and a burning hatred in his stomach. He wanted to both kill whoever did this, and cry for Lana.

“Lana, what happened...?” He went to her silently. She needed first aid, and luckily she brought the kit. He knew that he would have to take charge, so he too stock of her wounds. A gash at the back of her neck, a burn on her stomach. Nails in her palms and was... was that a needle? It took everything in Xander not to take the needle and shove it in some fuckers eye, blind whoever dared to do this to Lana.

“I’m going to take care of you, alright?”

A Pain So Deep || Xana

Lana had been so relieved to watch as Patton allowed Sophia to finally leave that room. He then came over to her, taunted her a bit more, then he left himself. And Nicholas came in shortly after, carefully removing the ropes that bound her, but leaving the needle in her arm and the clamps on her nipples and the nails in her hands. He looked her in the eyes, no apologies there, though he did explain that he’d been given instructions that she was to get dressed and return to the main floor with all three torture devices still in place.

She nodded solemnly at what he said. Because frankly, she was feeling weaker by the second she she didn’t have the energy to argue with him. At least he helped her. He took her clothing off the ground and handed it to her, article by article, then led her out of the room. She was limping as he led her out of the room, but he even allowed her to lean on him a bit as they walked and stood in the elevator.

But once the elevator opened to the hallways of Radley institute, Nicholas left her side. She slowly, painfully walked through the hall toward her suite. She knew exactly her plan of action, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to do any of this all on her own. First, she stopped by her suite, grabbing a piece of paper, and a pen, and scribbling in handwriting that was not even her own:

“Xander, meet me in the library. It’s urgent. I need help.”

She grabbed the first aid kit and a bottle of liquor, then walked to Xander’s room, sliding the note and an extra key-card she’d acquired the day before for him sneakily under his door quietly. Then she made her way painstakingly to the library and she found their room, sliding her card and stepping inside.

Finally, the woman breathed. She went to the couch and she carefully sat down, feeling as if her body may just break to pieces at any moment. She stared warily at the door, waiting for Xander with fluttering, heavy eyelids. Beckoning for him silently to come quickly. She needed him…

#P:Lana #A Pain So Deep

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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“Of course, happy to help.” He said, he wondered if she always spoke with a stutter or if it was just because of the other patients that had taunted her. He didn’t mind the stutter though, he could easily understand her.

He watched her carefully. She seemed reserved, reluctant to talk to him at all. She looked him over, and for just a moment, he saw her face contort to one of pain. His eyebrows scrunched together, and he was worried, had he done something? Had someone hurt her? His protective instinct kicked in, he wanted to help the girl in front of him. “Are you sure? You look like.... Like you are in pain.”

She said her name and Xander knew exactly who he was talking to. Paige Wolfe, it had to be. Lana had told him about her, the girl that Matthew Lawrence kept as a pet to Rape, the winner of the last games. The former lover of the boy who used to live in Xander’s room. He let the recognition show on his face, but there was no disgust or hatred in his face. Only understanding.

“I’m Xander, Xander Spelling.” He held out her hand for her to shake. “You are deaf, right? So you read my lips?” He made a mental note of that to make sure that he wasn’t mumbling or looking away from her when he spoke. “I’ll try my best to speak clearly, but I tend to mumble sometimes.” He said with a slight smile.

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Paige’s eyes widened slightly as the boy she’d been focusing on was pulled back suddenly. But the smile from the stranger was strangely reassuring. She watched as he spoke to the small crowd of kids that had been taunting her, but was unable to keep up with the words he spoke since he was at an odd angle and she couldn’t quite see his lips.

She internally beat herself up for not sticking up for herself. She’d been on the island. She’d killed two kids like these ones. She could have easily stood up for herself, and easily shown them not to mess with her ever again. But instead she cowered away and let someone she’d never even seen stick up for her and run them off.

When they ran off, Paige felt herself calm slightly. She couldn’t hold onto their foolish words for too long. They were just scared and when kids were scared, they acted irrationally. “I-I’m fine…” she nodded her head, pushing her hands against the wall behind her so that she could stand up straight before him. She offered him a small smile, it was the least she could do, “Thanks for s-sticking up for me…”

Swallowing, Paige’s eyes traced over him and took in his figure. He was thin, long dark hair. His smile reminded her of Malcolm’s the day he had first met her in the courtyard. At those memories, the girl felt her heart ache and couldn’t hide the pain on her face for just a moment. She wiped it away though, no need to drag this boy down with her, “I-I’m Paige…”

If he didn’t already know who she was from all the rumors.

#p: paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander had pretty much moved himself into the training room as of late. Since Lana told him the truth about what would happen to the patient in a few months, he had forced himself to train every day. He wasn’t going to go down without a fight and he would put up one hell of one if he had to.

When he walked into the training room, he didn’t immediately notice the crowd of other patients in the corner. He honestly had every intention to ignore them unless the became a problem. But as he prepared himself to train, he started picking up on the conversation. It was taunting, the patients had all ganged up on another patient. Xander’s hands clinched into fists.

He strolled across the training room as if he owned the place. He clapped his hand down on the shoulder of one of the patients, pulling them back. He looked into their little circle to see who their target had been. A girl, small and seemingly nervous. He smiled at her softly before turning on the patients.

“Well than, if you all really want to pick on someone, start with someone that’ll knock you out for being douche bags.” He growled, a fire lit behind his eyes, he looked fierce, unafraid. Confident. As if this was where he belonged. The others looked at each other, backing down rather quickly. “Let’s get outta here. She was boring anyways.” They walked away, and Xander turned to the girl.

He softened, no longer looking mean and threatening, he smiled slightly. “You alright?” He asked, he remembered when Lana had stepped in for him that one time. He was glad he kept his temper with the patients, he was getting a bit better at that he thought.

Somebody that I Used to Know || Xander & Paige

Her reputation at Radley was clear and she was sure it would be set in stone the entire time she walked within its walls. The staff all knew her well, and the patients each year would certainly learn who she was. She was the tramp - the slut - the whore. But more than that, she was now a curse as well. And anyone close to her was sure to die a painful, undue death.

She’d heard it all already, but this was the first time since she’d returned from the island that she’d been cornered. Paige was in the training room, simply sparring with a training dummy. She had hoped she would run into Charles, but this was one of those rare moments that he was nowhere to be found. She’d hoped to make things well with him, mend the bridge, apologize for how she’d turned him away.

But instead, she was approached by a group of patients. They taunted her, jeering that she didn’t belong her, that she should just kill herself and do everyone a favor. There was one boy in particular, who seemed to be at least a year older than her. He towered over her, and as they all spoke, she found her eyes wandering to his lips.

“You’re gonna be alone forever anyways, might as well just off yerself. No one even wants to talk to you, too afraid they’ll suffer like the ghost did!”

Paige normally would either run away from them or kick each of them in the gut. But they had her backed into a corner helplessly and the commotion of them all speaking at once and the terrible things they were all saying had her panicking quite frankly. Her breathing was staggered as she stammered, “J-Just leave me al-alone…”

#p: paige #Somebody that I used To Know

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

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Xander wasn’t really that self conscious. He wasn’t arrogant, but he knew that he was attractive. He had a nice body and a pleasing face. He wasn’t blind to these features, as so many people tended to be blind to their own attractive features. While he was a bit nervous because he was standing in front of a very hot woman while he was completely naked, he wasn’t going to be shy about his body.

He laughed with her. Of course she liked it. She was getting her way, as she often would he assumed. But when her hands returned to his cock, he closed his eyes and sighed happily. Her lips were on his, and that intense feeling that had been there when he had kissed her returned, with even more eat and passion. He grabbed Lana’s hip and kissed her back, unable to help but want him.

She lead him, got him where she wanted him. He wasn’t sure what she had in store but was more than willing to let her do what she wanted. He knew that she knew what she was doing, she definitely had more experience than he did.

When she moved down his body, he thought he might die and go to heaven right then and there. Her tongue connected with the skin of his shaft and he tilted his head back and moaned, seeing her on her knees between his legs, ass in the air. It was an image he was never ever going to forget. For however long or short his lifespan was, he would remember that.

He collected her hair in one hand, and ran a hand down her back with the other. She was being a tease about this, licking all the way down his length before swirling her tongue around the tip and finally, finally, taking him into her mouth. But even then, she withdrew slowly, until almost all of him was out. He tightened his grip on her hair slightly to get her attention.

He looked down at her, eyes clouded with lust. “Lana.” His voice was practically a purr at that point. “Please...”

And The Codeine Scene

Lana sat back. And she enjoyed every single minute of the boy’s show. She could tell there was maybe a little bit of nervousness, but was shocked at the grace with which he danced his clothing off to the ground. And she was right with her presumptions. He looked so much better without the costume on at all.

As his underwear fell to the ground, she couldn’t help but to stare at him for a moment. He was big, honestly bigger than her ex was. Bigger than most men she’d ever been with. He approached her and she knew it was her time to shine. Lana accepted his kiss on her neck and the spot where he’d kissed her tingled even after he pulled back.

“Perfect,” she commented with a small giggle. She took hold of his shaft again, moving her hand back and forth on it and on making it harder and harder as she went. She reached up with her free hand and wrapped it around the back of his neck, fingers enthralled in the dark locks of his hair. She took him in for a deep kiss filled with all the lust and passion she could muster up.

Then, she pulled him down to sit on the couch beside her. And once he was seated, member standing upright, Lana got onto her knees on the couch beside him and leaned over him. She arched her back so that her ass was held high in the air. Open for him to play with as he pleased. And she took him in her hand, licking softly at first at the head of his cock, then licking all the way down his length to his balls.

She moaned against his shaft, then went back up to the tip and took it in her mouth. Slowly, the woman began to circle her tongue around the meat in her mouth. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the motions of taking him all the way into her throat, then withdrawing… almost completely.

#P:Lana #And the Codeine Scene

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xander-spelling-blog · 8 years

Text

She was teasing him. He knew that she was teasing him, trying to drive him crazy. She was definitely doing a great job at it too. Her hands, her voice, the way she smelled, everything about her was clouding his mind till he was starting to forget the reality of their situation.

Xander smirked at her as she sat down on the couch, looking at him expectantly. Of course Lana would want a show. He expected nothing less from her. He’d give her what she wanted too, because he would allow himself to nothing else. He was submissive to Lana, under her control completely.

He started with the robe he wore, tugging it off with a deliberately slow pace, when he got the fabric over his head, he tossed it aside. He kicked off his shoes, and was standing in underwear and a wife beater. He pulled the wife beater off next, exposing his chest and abdomen. He was a sculpted person, truly looking like an Egyptian statue carved from stone. The wife beater joined the robe.

Next, he pushed his underwear down his hips and let it fall to the floor. He kicked it aside and walked towards her, completely naked, he leaned down so he was close enough. “Good enough show?” He asked quietly in her ear, kissing her neck softly.

And The Codeine Scene

Lana grinned at the fact he was still a virgin. A small part of her wondered whether it was a crime to take his virginity in a place like this. Did this constitute as taking advantage of him? The bigger side of her told that part of her to shut up and suck some cock. It listened. She watched the changes in his face as she simply rubbed him under his clothes. He bit his lip, which Lana couldn’t help but to find adorable and endearing.

“Oh, you want me to act on this feeling?” Lana asked, her voice nothing more than a soft whisper. Her eyebrows raised as she asked the question. But like many things, the woman already knew the answer. He did. And she would give him, certainly the best feeling of his life in the following moments.

“First, I want a show,” Lana commented with a smirk. She was toying with him, because hew as a virgin and it was now too fun not to play on that. “If you want me to give you something, I expect something in return. Strip for me, and I promise, you’ll forget about this place for a good long while.” She winked at the boy, releasing his member and walking around to take a seat on the couch.

She crossed one leg over the other, awaiting her show with an ever-present smile on her face.

#p:lana #And the Codeine Scene

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