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written1nthest4rs · 19 hours
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My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.
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written1nthest4rs · 19 hours
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bringing the potc fandom back one meme at a time #12
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written1nthest4rs · 20 hours
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my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness
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written1nthest4rs · 20 hours
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written1nthest4rs · 20 hours
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written1nthest4rs · 21 hours
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Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.
Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.
I feel like I’ll never catch up.
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written1nthest4rs · 21 hours
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Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt
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written1nthest4rs · 21 hours
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i’m not even trying i swear
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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hhmm.
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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Nubbins ascended in a match of TCM, so I had to recreate it in the most godly way possible.
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written1nthest4rs · 2 days
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an important fyi
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