wizard-of-interesting-failure
Wizard of Interesting Failure
Iffy for short. It's a nickname, not a description, I swear. LF > Familiar of Fascinating Fuckups. No, my familiar is not @nonekop, they are an uncontrollable hellion.
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Buddy these pills are literally +3 to the fortitude of the human soul. Says right here on the bottle.
Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription
Me: My pills make me not want to die tho
They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal
Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills
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Yeah? Is it more important to you to have a purpose, or to keep your occupant from being threatened?
THE CAGE HAS DETERMINED THAT ALL INTERACTIONS ON TUMBLR ARE A THREAT TO @incompetent-wizard AND IT HAS ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL OF THEIR ACCOUNT.
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Man, this sounds exhausting. There's an easier way! If someone stops existing, nothing can threaten them any more.
THE CAGE HAS DETERMINED THAT ALL INTERACTIONS ON TUMBLR ARE A THREAT TO @incompetent-wizard AND IT HAS ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL OF THEIR ACCOUNT.
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Magic missile but it's magic the way mushrooms are
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Rarity is relative; "infinite corpses" doesn't sound rare, but "one corpse per universe, each death unique" certainly does.
I'm not after them for consumption, anyway; that's a Cult of the Dead One thing. There's...certain mystical properties.
hey guys some of my stoner friends stumbled into the flayed corpse of god any of yall what to help us deep-fry this thing i cant fit all of it inside my freezer
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There's a corpse of god for every kind of death. Drowned doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how esoteric these can get; you get in deep enough, you're looking for the Frog-Choked Corpse of God, and lemme tell you...
hey guys some of my stoner friends stumbled into the flayed corpse of god any of yall what to help us deep-fry this thing i cant fit all of it inside my freezer
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No thanks, the flayed one is pretty entry level; I've reached the point where it needs to be at least the drowned corpse of god for it to be worth my time.
hey guys some of my stoner friends stumbled into the flayed corpse of god any of yall what to help us deep-fry this thing i cant fit all of it inside my freezer
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Unless purposefully exposing yourself to the rat counts as your own actions causing the harm; in this case testing may be complex as any test you set up might be counted as partially by your own hand.
For my next experiment, I'm letting my pet giant rat Janice bite me. I'm curious if the cage only protects me from harm that I inflict on myself.
Despite her efforts, Janice is unable to break my skin. I therefore conclude that the cage protects me from ALL harm and not just from my own actions.
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Because "In conclusion, 20 GOTO 10" traps the reader in an infinite loop.
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And people say tumblr doesn't have a business model.
wizad spell of queueueueueueueues you
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Of course, this framing flips the assumption base from "this one villain is deluded" to "it is culturally assumed in this setting that destroying someone's death laser is homoerotic"
No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.
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Oh ha ha we'll just use a bullet ward-
Wrong.
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Well, good for you!
Nothing bad appears to happen
Peasants will see a Cursed Wretch and be like "good thing that could never be me!" right before they Get Cursed
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Er, usually not.
Peasants will see a Cursed Wretch and be like "good thing that could never be me!" right before they Get Cursed
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Mobile ads continue to get more and more unhinged
#tag urself im ring of fire#(well no i dont have adhd to my knowledge but this was too good not to share)#adhd
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Same as it ever was
Same as it ever what the fuck is that
Same as it ever has that always been there?
Same as it ever why the fuck didn't I see it before?
you may ask yourself, what? and you may ask yourself, huh?????
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