Illyasviel was never one to express how she truly felt. she is not far from certain that some people understand she appears to have no worries, and if she were as kind than her brother believed her to be, she supposes it would be genuine. this has been fact for too long, she will not offer comfort and neither tell others lies to feel better. for what purpose would it serve to pretend that the impending doom was a falsehood? none, absolutely none — the end of her life had been decided from birth.

but there were times, far in between, were the little girl she had been would emerge through.

the silence feels like an eternity. it is something she has never had to ponder, never had to share with another soul, but in this instant, she wonders if this... if this is like that final dream before oblivion. “Mother?”

this was always in the realm of possibility when it came to the city. though not something she's experienced personally those brief times her feet have walked these streets, learning about it from Saber was more than enough. so when a walk through the market in Cotes Fantasci brought her face to face with the future, Irisviel is incapable of mustering any form of surprise.

she doesn't know what happened after her death and before that fateful moment Shirou told her of. truth be told, she was always afraid to ask-- not only for herself, but out of fear of dredging up unpleasant memories of those who bore witness to it. but eventually, she would have to know. if the fates were kind, it would have been before meeting eyes so like her own.

" Illya." the name feels both familiar and foreign on her tongue and it doesn't sit right with her. " So you are here, too. "

@wintersgrail

Safia Elhillo, from Girls That Never Die: Poems

"Shirou, crouch down."

she has tried her best in the sunny egg, but if Shirou ate the toast the last time, surely he would do it again. Illya knows she has been picky before with her meals — always picking the potatoes in any dish, so she tries to pull an effort in not leaving anything anymore now.

“That reminds me, I bought those treats the other day. It isn’t lunch yet but I was thinking if you would like to eat them with me.” she shows the small box, placing it in front of his plate.

⠀⠀This is definitely a pleasant surprise to wake up to— Shirou had overslept today, which just means he didn't wake up early like usual. But it seems Illya has already taken care of breakfast for him. ... Hm— the mention of black toast is suspect, but he's willing to overlook that for her.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"You really didn't have to, Illya— but I really appreciate it all the same." He offers her a warm smile, still working on fully waking himself up before he sits down to eat.

it’s more than obvious that Rin has been doing more than light snacking, that attitude doesn’t appear with simple embarrassment. she has no doubts that her brother finds it adorable, and if Illya were more like Shirou, she would agree wholeheartedly.

“Aha! You were thinking of eating them all, weren’t you?” hands on her hips, she furrows her eyebrows. every part of Illyasviel wants to scoff, not towards Rin but the voice in her head that distrusts the treats in front of her. she has a bad feeling about them, but what could mere sweets do? not only towards herself but to Rin. Illyasviel will never admit but she respects Rin’s devotion to her craft. “Hmph. I will take a few, then.”

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀—Mm— ?⠀ ❜ ⠀DAMN. ⠀Why was Illyasviel always showing up at the worst times ? Worse yet, she always knew just what to say to get under her skin; Rin knows better, and yet she still bristles automatically as her brows fall steeply downward. Sometimes she gets the feeling that there's an unbalanced amount of experience going on here when it comes to dealing with each other's presence...

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀Why do you think they're pocket-sized ? Exactly for days like these ! That's the point: light snacking !⠀ ❜ ⠀Breathe, Rin. It's okay if the breath is a little bit harsh on the exhale, but only a little. ⠀❛ ⠀... Anyway, if you wanted some, you only had to ask. I'm not a dragon with its hoard, you know.⠀ ❜ ⠀Not now that she's gotten through enough of them, anyway.

the Emiya household is unsurprisingly identical to the one she knows. it has the same corridors, and number of rooms, and she could nearly fool herself into believing that if she turned around the corner, that man would appear and apologize for making her wait. it will never happen: the only family she has left is her brother.

Illya hums, eyeing up what is there on the table. “I’m not an expert like you or Sakura but I made you breakfast once.” her first attempt, honestly, but she still remembers how Shirou had eaten everything, without doing any of his unique expressions. it had been so short-lived to spend those mornings, but Shirou will always be Shirou and Illya wants her brother to be happy.

“You seemed to like the black toast back then. Oh, I also added the sunny egg.”

@originsword : CUPID SHUFFLE

if anyone were to ask Illya, nothing of this surprises her. she had front-row seat into this sort of behavior before, and there’s almost something close to comforting that despite their different experiences, this has not changed. after all, nice surprise aside: Rin is rather clumsy, isn’t she?

“Rin, it’s unladylike to eat all those sweets in one go.” hook, line, and sinker.

@inheirit : CUPID SHUFFLE

“Hmm… it doesn’t look that special.” buying a small package had been intentional, after all the fuss over the new store across the island. “I guess it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try them.”

“You’re the best, Shirou!” Illya doesn’t let him think about it any further. she will never say no to a free meal from her little brother. “Will you make noodles too? Or, any of those big dinners to go along with it? I like potatoes!”

⠀⠀⠀⠀"— A hot pot?" As it turns out, it hadn't crossed his mind to make sure his home had one in stock for such an occasion. It's a good idea she mentioned it, the young man giving her a firm nod before answering. "Yeah— that's a good idea, Illya. I'm surprised I hadn't considered it sooner."

“You should have, yes. Unless you are into never finishing what you started.” disbelief is her main reaction, but Illya attempts the cordial route. not everyone is Rin. “What did it do to you to leave it like this?”

      ❛   Prooobably should've made sure I had enough before I started...  ❜     GREAT.   Since he's run short of pebbles, now it just looks like this snowman's nose-less and perpetually shocked about whatever's in front of it.

seating goodbyes left unsaid, goodbyes left unsaid.

[SENT] Banter implies that Rin has anything to say in her defense. She doesn’t even put any effort.

[SENT] Stay inside at your house? Is it really alright? I thought I saw Saber the other day hiding under your kotatsu.

⠀⠀[SENT] Illya? I didn't realize I hadn't given you a key yet, my bad. I've got a few to share, I'd be happy to give you one.

⠀⠀[SENT] You're welcome to visit any time. You can even stay a while if something happens.

⠀⠀[SENT] Hold up, banter? I'm more worried that you and Rin are gonna get into it... But I can cross that bridge when that inevitably comes up. Each time it happens.

“Shirou! Do you think you can buy a hot pot for the holidays? I heard it will start to snow soon.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀"Feels like this winter is gonna be especially cold... I'm gonna have to stock up more than usual— in case anything goes wrong."

[SENT] Shirou. I don't want to impose on Sakura, but do you have any spare key to your house?

[SENT] Any will do. I have no problem with waiting, just wanted to tell you. Oh, I almost forgot. I will drop by for meals so try to not get too distracted when you and Rin banter.

@originsword

"No idea why... but the island feels a lot more quiet than usual. I suppose the last day of the festivities wanted to finish without any effort."

one sword coming right up!

it’s so predictable that she finds a comfort in it. not that Rin will ever know it, they were raised with expectations and so far, it is hard to see how much their paths diverged. Illya has no father she needs to make proud; and it is the least of her concerns, but not everyone has been disappointed like that. maybe she should hold it over and resent it, except she genuinely enjoys the banter. Rin pretends too many things and as another older sister, Illyasviel likes to challenge her.

normal people probably would call this — a friendship.

“Yes, yes.” Illya nonchalantly agrees more for convenience’s sake. “I thought elegance was supposed to be your forte, Rin. I guess I was wrong.”

⠀⠀⠀DON'T ⠀fall for it, she tells herself. Every single time, she reminds herself that Illyasviel has a remarkable tendency to tapdance on her every last goddamn nerve — and that she shouldn't give the Einzbern that free satisfaction. And for a while she does pretty good; she turns her nose up at the suggestion she was shrinking, knowing that Shirou and Sakura were the only ones whose heights had changed recently. She sees Illya's false concern and raises false disinterest. … But then she brings up the proportions of her arms, and damn it all, but Rin can't help the instinct to glance down as if she could tell the difference.

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀That's—⠀ ❜ ⠀She cuts herself off with a reflexive groan of disappointment, rolling her eyes at her own impulse. ⠀❛ ⠀There's nothing wrong with my arms, and all my tan is telling me is to wear better clothes the next time I'm marooned !⠀ ❜ ⠀