willow-asin-winnie
robin
https://archiveofourown.org/users/willow_as_in_winnie
have you ever seen a ghost?
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Prompt idea
What of instead ‘Depressed/Abused Tim with no inhibitor because of some drug and tries commit unlive, making Batfam realises they phucked up’ we got Tim who tried eating his phone or just doing every thought that just came to mind like,
“TIM! DON’T PLAY DARTS WITH THE NEEDLES!”
“GET FUCK OFF ME REPLACEMENT!”
“FATHER! DRAKE BIT ME!”
And like so on, and by the end Tim’s phone has been smashed into bits, half of the medbay was destroyed, and Tim had to be removed from a watchlist for sending out nuke warnings as a prank.
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Based on this addition
To this post
Timothy Drake Wayne, youngest CEO, Times person of the year a year ago (you choose why), and all around impressive business individual is easily recognizable wherever he goes…so long as he’s in a suit. As a CEO Timothy is both a staunch professional and a blatant gen z kid which makes him somewhat beloved and well known by everyone across the county.
But then Tim is wandering around Gotham in a pair of jeans and a flannel over long sleeves and no body takes a second glance.
He’s sitting at the skatepark laughing at “Timothy Drake Wayne funniest moments” compilations with other skaters while they take a break and no one knows the video is about him.
Timothy has to take a public flight and the guy at security checks his ID and then looks up at Tim like “hey you have the same name as that one kid CEO.” And it takes everything in Tim’s power to not immediately respond with “that’s because he is me?” Instead he slaps on the biggest grin and says “what a weird coincidence.”
He’s dressed down sitting in first class because he’s not a heathen and he’s gonna be stuck in a suit for this entire conference. The entire time this lady next to him kept scoffing about his appearance and how he probably never worked for a thing in his life. About how the quality of this aircraft company is going down if they’re letting people like Tim occupy first class. Tim, meanwhile, immediately clocked this woman as the CFO of a company WE was considering partnership with. Lol, fat chance that goes through now.
Tim keeps a suit at Wayne Tower for the emergency meetings he sometimes gets called into. He’s heading into the building when the security of the visiting company shoves him out of the way cause they assume he’s some teen. Needless to say that when he walks into the conference room cleaned an suited up, he found complete delight on watching all the blood drain from their face.
Tim makes fun of Superman because he doesn’t even have to wear glasses to get away with his secret identity. He’s not even trying to hide and people still look over him in a crowd when he’s not in a suit.
Some shady company is trying to buy the skatepark Tim regularly visits and has bribed the GCPD to arrest kids for “loitering” or “trespassing.” Or something. Tim gets arrested one time, sends a snap selfie like “lol got arrested.” and then buys the land the skate park is on and also the company that tried to buy it to build a resort.
There is an entire hashtag full of selfies people have taken with a dressed down Tim out and about in Gotham all captioned with something like “lol, I found our favorite teenage CEO’s doppelgänger!”
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I think it’s funny to think that whenever Jason shows up to ANYTHING with a duffle bag the batfamily and co think there could be decapitated heads inside:
Dick: whatcha got there Jason?
Jason: my luggage for the mission??
Dick:
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THERE AREN’T HEADS IN HERE
Dick: THERES ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY
Jason: I HAVEN’T KILLED ANYONE IN MONTHS
Dick: THAT WE KNOW OF
I imagine that then the Justice League becomes weary of Jason with duffle bags due to the bats. So the outlaws could be helping with a mission and:
Superman: Hood if it’s alright we’d like to search your bag?
Red Hood: there’s just my gear inside
Superman: we just want to double check it is your gear…
Red Hood:
Red Hood: not you guys too
Red Hood: THERE AREN’T ANY DECAPITATED HEADS INSIDE
Arsenal: at this point you should just put heads in there.
Red Hood: I’m not trying to get back on the Justice Leagues Wanted list Roy
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Video
Claude Giroux, a.k.a the stick handling savage
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How to communicate with your father-figure: guilt him about your death and also be concerned about his health
Batman Eternal #50
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned.
Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner.
11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi!
Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--?
Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin.
12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!!
Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What??
Jason: I stole his tires :)
Batman: Tried to.
Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did.
Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin.
14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello
Flash: Where do you even find these--
Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin.
17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!!
Superman: I give up.
Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin.
13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there:
Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?!
Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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I think overall we are not fully utilizing Tim Drake's origin as a weird super hero fanboy/stalker for it's full comedic potential.
Jason talking about his Robin days: The look on that guy's face when he was beaten by child. I wish I had a picture.
Tim: I do.
Jason: You what?
Tim: have a picture.
Jason: ....
Tim: Would you like to see?
Jason:.... yes.
Dick over the phone: can you pick something up from Titans tower for me? I'm really busy. It's in the vault the password is ********.
Tim: You haven't changed it in 5 years? That's terrible security!
Dick: ...I didn't know you 5 years ago??
Tim: You also put the code in in plain view of the window. You should really pull the blinds down.
Dick: After you get that can you please get therapy?
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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-
Dick: The stalking?
Bruce: No, we settled that-
Jason: His cloning experiments?
Bruce: I thought he stopped that?
Damian: His hit list?
Bruce: What?
Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?
Bruce: spleen?
Jason: No it’s gotta be the-
Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?
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I can hear you overthinking from here, Boy Wonder…
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the past was kinder…
Some higher resolution pics :3
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Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.
Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children
Barry: Bats really loves his kids.
Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite
Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.
He could break someone in half. Like a twig.
He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)
And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.
And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.
To steal his dog.
And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.
But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!
And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.
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The Wayne kids aren’t mafia, but individually they’re scary enough for people to assume they are. Everyone knows Brucie Wayne is the biggest himbo ever and his kids are running everything from the shadows. It’s like…a given. Seriously have you seen his kids? Tim’s even the CEO at 18.
Dick is beloved. Everywhere he goes kids practically flock to him, but people have seen him slam one too many possible child predators into a wall with the most threatening smile for them to think he’s all sunshine and rainbows.
One time, a mother asked for his help because his daughter was missing and the police wouldn’t help. Dick made one call (to Tim or Oracle), and the child was back by the end of the day and an entire trafficking ring was taken down. When asked he simply smiled and denied any involvement but said he was over joyed that one more trafficking ring was out of their city.
Jason Todd is Crime Alley’s hero. More so than anyone else, he has directed funds to help the area he called home before being taken in by Wayne. He died, but no one actually believes that. The Wayne children’s “mafia” had him doing something under cover. And while dick is all threat with a smile, Jason is Threaten with a frown. He can send people running with just a look.
someone noticed that Jason is always strapped. Man has no less than 5 weapons and one is always a gun. He doesn’t hide it, kids always ask him question and Jason always stops to answer them if he has the time. Even shows kids a few moves if they need to defend themselves. For whatever reason people don’t connect hood to Jason, but they definitely think Jason is funding hood.
Tim is the most relatable. Certified genius and always down to help kids with homework. Sometimes he’ll camp out in a cafe for the day. Without fail his location gets leaked and by mid afternoon he’s put away his WE work to tutor any students who have walked in.
He’s always tired, always has coffee, and always gives people a smile, but he knows too much. Rumor is that nothing happens in this town without Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne knowing. One time he was taking a break at the park, scrolling through his phone when a group approached him clearly intent on kidnapping him. Before they even got close Tim was reciting their social security number, their cell phones, the names of their loved ones, and their address.
When Tim looked up it was with a tired smirk that clearly came across as a warning. He then stood, slipped a business card onto the bench, and told them if they need work to call this number and their reps will help them find something regardless of their past record.
Rumor has it the downfall of the most recent corrupt socialite was completely orchestrated by Tim.
Damian is a little gremlin that has the family wrapped around his finger. At first their were rumors of infighting between the two youngest (Tim and Damian), but then how could that be possible when at the first sign of trouble Timothy materializes out of the shadows wearing his mother’s smile that promised social and financial ruin if you so much as looked at his baby brother wrong.
Dick flat out punched a man in the face for calling Damian a terrorist. The “victim” was high society and swore up and down that their would be a law suit, but Tim took care of it with a few photos and screen shots of an affair that would have ruined the man in question.
Damian has scary dog privilege on his own, but it’s a whole new ballpark when Jason is out with him. Apparently someone tried to kidnap Damian on the way to meet up with Jason and the bats didn’t even need to be called. Jason took care of it before they even got the kid in the van.
Damian is a violent little thing. Everyone knows, even if it was never announced, that he got it from where ever he had been living before, so they always gave him a little leeway, especially since his violent tendencies were decreasing…at least physically. Damian can, will, and regularly verbally eviscerates anyone who wrongs him. It’s impressive as it is scary. This kid looks at you like he can read every insecurity you’ve ever had and is not afraid to air it to the world while also insulting you into the grave.
Individually they’re terrifying, but the reason that they’re still Gotham’s golden family is because together the goofiest fucking people you have ever seen in your life (also the endless amount of charity work they do together as a family). When all four siblings are together they always end up trending and it’s always the funniest shit you’ve ever seen.
During the first major snow when all of the streets were shut down the Wayne Boys were out in all terrain jeeps shredding it up dragging someone behind them on ski’s or a snowboard
Somehow, all four boys were spotted trekking across town covered in a rainbow of colored powder. When someone enquired they admitted to getting into a rather harmless prank war with the currently reformed Ivy and Harleen Quiznel. If asked they totally won, but the fact that no part of any of the boys was uncovered said otherwise.
Dick once asked social media to help him track down Tim because he hadn’t slept in 3 days and was not supposed to leave the house. He’d been spotted at a cafe he doesn’t usually frequent and anyone around to witness the retrieval would later say it was the cleanest covert op they’d ever witnessed from the Wayne boys. Jason was the get away driver, dick was on retrieval duty, and Damian was there to make sure their route in and out was clear (hold open the door). Tim was recorded yelling every creative non curse (because no cursing in front of Damian, Alfred said so) under the sky, struggling in the arms of Dick Grayson who was smiling bright enough to rival the sun. 3 minutes in and out. The video screen shots are still used as a meme template to this day.
Brucie Wayne gets asked about his boys in interviews a lot. There are a lot of times where he’s only finding out about their shenanigans due to the interview question, but he just smiles and says he’s happy they’re all getting along while mentally planning out how to deal with them later.
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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
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really funny how Fyodor’s “last words” were words Jesus said when he was crucified and the chapter that confirms he didn‘t die is the one right after Easter.
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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?
Jason* laughing* : Some what ?
Tim : Pespi .
Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.
Tim : That's what I said Pespi.
Tim : Pespi
Duke : Please would you...
Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi
Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.
Damian : Ambidextrous ?
Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !
Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !
Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.
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