🍎  ｡:*• ─ FUNNY BIRTHDAY SENTENCE STARTERS.    ›    ( a compilation of funny quotes taken from various birthday cards.  feel free to adjust them to better fit your muses !  )

it’s my muse’s birthday !  what would yours say to them ?

1.     ❝ Congrats on not being dead yet ! ❞ 2.     ❝ One year closer to granny panties ! ❞ 3.     ❝ Free cake !  I mean, happy birthday ! ❞ 4.     ❝ I’ll always be younger than you. Ha ha ! ❞ 5.     ❝ In whiskey years, you just got more delicious ! ❞ 6.     ❝ For the record, you’re not old. You’re a classic ! ❞ 7.     ❝ A late birthday card is better than a late period ! ❞ 8.     ❝ Candles aren’t the only thing getting blown tonight ! ❞ 9.     ❝ Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation ! ❞ 10.   ❝ Another 365 days since you fell out of a vagina. Hooray ! ❞ 11.   ❝ This is an annual reminder that I’m super glad you were born ! ❞ 12.   ❝ The older you get, the better you get !  Unless you’re a banana… ❞ 13.   ❝ I’m really glad your parents had unprotected sex !  Happy birthday ! ❞ 14.   ❝ Today we celebrate the only time you won a race. Happy birthday ! ❞ 15.   ❝ I’m glad you were born, my life would be pretty boring without you ! ❞ 16.   ❝ Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. ❞ 17.   ❝ Happy birthday to the love of my life, and the biggest pain in my ass. ❞ 18.   ❝ I wanted to give you something amazing, but I didn’t fit in the gift bag. ❞ 19.   ❝ Thanks for being born !  It’s a great excuse for us to get drunk and eat cake ! ❞ 20.   ❝ I wish you happy birthday with all my butt !  I’d say heart, but my butt is bigger. ❞ 21.   ❝ You suck… at aging !  Can you at least try to look older ? Happy birthday, anyway ! ❞ 22.   ❝ Happy birthday !  We’ve been through a lot together, and most of it was your fault ! ❞ 23.   ❝ Let’s celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world — naked and screaming ! ❞ 24.   ❝ Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show that people who have more birthdays live the longest ! ❞ 25.   ❝ Happy birthday to the funniest, prettiest, classiest bitch I know… other than myself, of course ! ❞ 26.   ❝ Happy birthday !  Always remember that if you fall, I’ll be there to pick you up… after I finish laughing, of course ! ❞ 27.   ❝ Happy birthday to the smartest, funniest and most beautiful person in the world !  Wait, did I say “to” ?  I meant “from” ! ❞ 28.   ❝ This is not a birthday card !  Because if it was, then it would be late. But it’s not a birthday card, so it’s not late ! ❞ 29.   ❝ I think me being your [friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc…] is enough of a birthday gift. You’re welcome ! ❞ 30.   ❝ Good things take time, just like me remembering your birthday. Happy belated birthday ! ❞ 31.   ❝ I didn’t get you anything, but I thought about it. They say it’s the thought that counts ! Happy birthday ! ❞ 32.   ❝ I wanted to send you something sexy, but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox… anyway, happy birthday ! ❞ 33.   ❝ Happy birthday to a [brother/boyfriend/husband/etc…] that has the world’s greatest [sister/girlfriend/wife/etc…] !  You are so lucky ! ❞ 34.   ❝ There’s two things to remember on your birthday. First, forget the past, because you can’t change it ;  second, forget the present — I didn’t buy you one. ❞ 35.   ❝ For your birthday I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. ❞

'𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐲' 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬.

prompts designed around the concept of a character having a difficult day and another character arriving to help/support/care for them! i made these prompts on @soulprompts. DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST NOR REPOST IT OR CLAIM AS YOUR OWN.

DIALOGUE PROMPTS.

" you look like you could use a hug. "

" please tell me you didn't cancel your plans for me... "

" don't be silly, you're much more important than some tinder date! "

" where's your jacket? i'd like to show you something, and it'll involve a bit of walking. "

" you know i'm always here for you, don't you? no matter what. "

" hey, now... i'm only ever a phone call away. "

" come on. let's get you to bed. "

" i'm listening. "

" hey, do you have any spare pajamas? i'm going to sleep on your couch tonight; that way you just need to shout if you need me. "

" what are your nightmares about? they may not be so bad if you talk about them. "

" another nightmare? "

" hey now, no more apologizing. i'm glad you called me; i meant it when i said any time, any place. "

" you know you're never a nuisance nor a burden. not to me. "

" i'm helping you, and that's final. i'm not taking no for an answer. now. where's your kitchen? i'm making us some comfort food. "

" maybe you think it's your job to look after everyone else. but it's not supposed to be like that. it works both ways. and now it's my turn to look after you. okay? "

" hey, now. you've been helping me ever since we met. it's about time i started repaying the favor. "

“ i’m so proud of you. i know it’s hard to get past these rough days, but... i still want you to know that i’m proud of you. “

“ you know, i reckon our bond is definitely strong enough to endure whatever it is that you need to get off your chest. “

“ it’s alright, now... i got you. “

“ you don’t need to worry about scaring me off. i’m not going anywhere. you can try as hard as you want, but there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make me like you any less. “

“ you know, i make the best hot chocolate in the world. seriously, i’ve asked absolutely everyone on the planet. everyone except you... what do you say? wanna make it a global fact? “

“ let’s go smash some stuff until you’re ready to talk, okay? “

ACTION PROMPTS.

[ TEA ]: sender prepares a mug of hot tea for the receiver.

[ BLANKET ]: having found the receiver either sleeping or just lying on the couch, sender gently takes a blanket and drapes it over them.

[ BATH ]: sender runs a hot bath for the receiver after a particularly challenging day.

[ DINNER ]: having learned that the receiver has had a difficult time lately, sender arrives at their door with their favorite dinner and drinks.

[ COOK ]: in an effort to boost the receiver's spirits, sender arrives with all the ingredients needed to make the receiver's favorite comfort food, with the well-intended intentions of cooking it for them.

[ FORT ]: sender builds a blanket fort for the receiver following a long and difficult day.

[ HUM ]: sender hums gently under their breath to soothe and comfort a distressed receiver.

[ WIPE ]: after the receiver has stopped crying, sender tenderly leans forward, cups their face in their hands, and wipes their tears away.

[ JOURNEY ]: noticing the receiver has had a particularly rough day, sender invites them to accompany them on a walk or drive to get out of the house.

[ HAIR ]: as the receiver leans against them/lies in bed, sender begins to run their hand through their hair to soothe them until they relax or fall asleep.

[ CARRY ]: sender lifts a (nearly) sleeping receiver and carries them into their bed, tucking them in in the process.

[ GUIDE ]: sender physically guides an exhausted receiver into their bedroom, following weeks of very little sleep and very high amounts of stress.

[ BESIDE ]: receiver wakens from their first genuinely restful sleep in weeks, to find the sender asleep next to them, having been holding the receiver throughout the night to help them fall asleep.

[ BEDSIDE ]: receiver wakens from their first genuinely restful sleep in weeks, to find the sender asleep in an armchair by their bedside, having stayed there for the night in case receiver had a nightmare or needed them in any other way.

[ KISS ]: as a gesture of comfort and affection, sender leans forward to kiss the receiver on the forehead.

[ HAND ]: noticing the receiver is close to tears, or otherwise struggling with an unseen but considerable burden, sender gently takes their hand and holds it in an attempt to comfort and encourage them.

[ RUB ]: sender gently rubs receiver's back in a soothing motion.

[ TV ]: sitting next to the receiver on the sofa, sender joins them in watching their favorite show/movie on the television.

[ HOLD ]: as soon as the receiver opens the door and realizes the sender is there, sender wordlessly opens their arms out, and gives the receiver a warm, sorely needed hug.

Ella Purnell as Jackie Taylor YELLOWJACKETS: 105. Blood Hive

I never use my brain I only use my heart

NATALIE SCATORCCIO — 1996 | 2021

NATALIE SCATORCCIO YELLOWJACKETS | 2.01

Yellowjackets x “Hunger” — Florence + The Machine

you're everything to me

for @lottieurl

YELLOWJACKETS

1x07 ⇢ 2x07

i want you so much, but i hate your guts

Ella Purnell as Jackie Taylor YELLOWJACKETS: 103. The Dollhouse

Ella Purnell as Jackie Taylor YELLOWJACKETS: 105. Blood Hive

(that's a lesbian) Ella Purnell as Jackie Taylor YELLOWJACKETS: 105. Blood Hive

Ella Purnell as Jackie Taylor YELLOWJACKETS: 102. F Sharp

From Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another by Jan Heller Levi (via hush-syrup)

NAT SCATORCCIO 1x08 "Flight of the Bumblebee" | 2x08 "It Chooses"

Richard siken / dave eggers