It's really funny to take Spanish with people from different Spanish-speaking countries, because the ones from South American countries are like "Yeah no one uses vosotros, we don't know what it's doing here" and the ones from Europe are like "If you don't give our beloved second-person plural its due respect, the Hounds will find you"

“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).

who is that wet little beast I see off in the distance

Love the concept of scissors. Someone was like, “a knife is clumsy for this task, what if I used TWO knives?” and they were right.

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

me: *gets really sad and has an emotional breakdown*

me, ten minutes later: lmao that was so fuckin lame

Review of a butterfly farm… 🦋

“I wasn’t insane until someone touched my heart.”

- Edgar Allan Poe

my heart: *suddenly beats extremely irregularly and heavy in my chest for several seconds for no reason*

me:

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

me everyday

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”

— Ursula K. Le Guin