Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend

the vintage sapphics redraw prompt from twt ft caitvi!

vibe check (kisses you on the lips)

Another good boomer joke

Penguin escapes killer whales by jumping onto a boat.

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

I got older

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

After careful consideration and going over multiple options I think the best choice is stay warm and cozy in bed forever.