media today

i saw this video of jackie shroff (jackie bhai) talking about the pain and depression attached with the loss of loved ones. he further emphasized that death is a mundane part of life. anyway, there was some content to what he was saying but overall i thought one could say it better. but then one could at any point in time say it better. 

anyhow, i reposted the video on my ig story and captioned it with how i thought it was actually therapeutic. it had nothing to do with the content, though it did provide some sense. it was just the way he was articulating it...it kept making me smile and some words he was using (“meri aurat aayi”,“bidu”, the likes) and an odd metaphor ( “apna smile mein apna health hai.”).

unsolicited, scattered thoughts vol. 1

even though I’ve been in melbourne for just 3 months, i sporadically question my decision of leaving my world behind and moving here to pursue a degree. back at home, you see, i had it all already – a steady income, friends who were family, familiar with every nook and cranny of the city which could ever be of relevance to my life and most of all, never feeling lonely.  but for the very short while i had all of this, something made me uneasy. i wanted to get of this situation. i think now that it was disbelief. i couldnt accept that i had all of this at 21. i knew with an extent of certainty that my struggles were not over and that by being in this position, im doing myself a disservice. 

dont get me wrong, i like nice things and i also acknowledge that this is not really encapsulate everything that life has to offer. but two things about that, first i like to believe that i am a modest man and so i really did think i had it all, or at least i was very close to that point. maybe just an iphone away. secondly, i do recogonise my privilege in saying that i wanted to struggle. my struggle isnt really a struggle at all in the real sense of the term, i still work remotely and the job treats me well. for everything else of course i have my parents. 

nonetheless, my struggle persists. the people here are odd, in a way theyre very difficult to talk to. maybe its because i am in law school but my peers are always so suspicious of me and one another, never letting their gaurd down. i get understand that but at the same time feel that good times are just waiting for us behind this concrete wall and i like good times too much, and life is too short you know. I do not have time to waste on breaking down these walls. Lets just start by not erecting them in the first place pls :) 

idk what this post is about, sorry lol