what-she-wrote - Tumblr blog

what-she-wrote · 15 hours

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what-she-wrote · 5 days

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The beautiful thing as you get older is that you realize so many “rules” are made up and you can just do whatever. Posters can go anywhere in the house not just my room. I can sit down while cooking a meal or taking a shower. I can make the same thing for breakfast lunch dinner for a week straight. I can roam around the house shirtless. I can wear a dress with jeans. The world is my oyster key word my and I can live as I please embracing little things such as this

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what-she-wrote · 6 days

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@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

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what-she-wrote · 6 days

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what-she-wrote · 6 days

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what-she-wrote · 11 days

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A soulmate is someone who is committed to working through things together & doesn’t see giving up as an option – they’re willing to have difficult conversations & are always dedicated to finding solutions that make you both feel loved, reassured & respected in the relationship.

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what-she-wrote · 11 days

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Feeling safe in someone's energy is a different type of intimacy. That peace of mind and security is very underrated and I cannot emphasize this enough.

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what-she-wrote · 17 days

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I heard someone say, “The reason you isolate when you’re struggling is because you were left alone as a child to deal with your emotions” I felt that.

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what-she-wrote · 18 days

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Aftercare

I’ve organized some of the things I need from aftercare (in person or long distance) into 4 components, and thought it could be helpful for others too! I’ve put some examples for each, but it will of course look different for everyone.

1. Physical Care/Needs -

Wiping away tears

Helping up from floor

Getting a warm towel

Soothing bruises

Getting a glass of water

2. Physical Comfort/Affection -

Gentle kisses and hugs

Holding eachother tight

Breathing with eachother

Cuddling and/or napping together

Brushing fingers through hair

3. Scene Validation -

“That was so fun/sexy”

“That felt so good when you ____”

“You were such a good ____ for me”

“I love the bruises/marks you gave me”

“Thank you for (carrying out some fantasy) with me”

4. Human Affirmations -

“I love you; I care about you”

“I’m so grateful to have you in my life”

“I always have a great time when I’m with you”

“You’re a wonderful/kind/etc person”

Mentioning a non-sexual part of your relationship that you like, or reiterating that you value eachother as more than just a sub/dom(me)

I think that this can work whether you have a deeper connection or a more casual play partner! I always feel best when all of these components are covered during aftercare.

These things can obv be done in person, and I think it’s also really important to give this kind of care when you’re long distance, even if it’s just through words after sexting… for example-

“When we were done, I would help you up and wipe away your tears, bring you a warm towel and make sure you’re ok. Then I’d love to cuddle, with your head on my chest, and give you forehead kisses while telling you how good you made me feel and how wonderful of a person I think you are.”

Thanks for reading! Be safe everyone 💕💕

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what-she-wrote · 18 days

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A little kinky advice

Beware of people who push on hard limits. These are not an invitation to apply pressure. It’s a boundary that should be respected until you hear otherwise. If that doesn’t work for you, find someone more compatible with your needs.

Beware of people who try to convince you that you’d do something kink related for them if you just loved them enough/were devoted enough. Kink is not in itself an act of self-sacrifice or self-harm. It should not rob you. It should fill your cup.

Beware of people who say your safeword has conditions or think someone doesn’t deserve one, top or bottom.

Kink should be enjoyable for all parties. Limits matter for all parties. No matter how “fun” and “exciting” someone seems on this site, they have limits. And they should. Saying you don’t have limits is either foolish or unhinged.

There is no inherent role you should have to play based on your gender, size, sexuality, etc. There is endless variation and you can pursue what makes sense to you.

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what-she-wrote · 19 days

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what-she-wrote · 20 days

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Find someone like this.

Find somebody who is willing to fix their mistakes when they are in the wrong.

Find someone who knows that date nights are mandatory.

Find someone who never punishes you for the mistakes made by the ones behind you.

Find someone who you have amazing chemistry with.

Find someone who is willing to graduate to a real lasting love with you.

Find someone who is willing to navigate the ship of life together.

Find someone who knows that not a single person on the face of this earth sits high enough to look down on anyone.

Find someone who doesn't make you fall for them without intending to catch you.

Find someone who would rather spend a Sunday morning with you, rather than a Saturday night.

Find somebody who's quick to put their ego aside, and willing to listen and grow with you with every day that passes.

Find someone who chases you .... long after they already have you.

Find someone who will never let you fall asleep at night wondering if you still matter.

Find someone who makes a reservation at your favorite restaurant unannounced.

Find someone who has genuine intentions with you from the very beginning.

Take my advice and .... find someone real enough to treat you .... like they can never replace you.

~ Cody Bret

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what-she-wrote · 25 days

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what-she-wrote · 4 months

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For submissives who fear being a "burden".

Note: This post was stimulated by one from @daidi-dragan-glas with a similar theme. It's his pinned post and worth seeing.

I've seen posts by or about submissives who fear "being a burden" to a dominant. Who worry that their submissive needs, their anxiety issues, their self-esteem issues, or whatever, might be "too much" for their dominant.

I've also seen submissives who are struggling with something and keep that from their dominant because they don't want to "burden" him with that.

One way of answering that is to say you aren't a burden. But I'll say it a little differently. You are exactly the burden we want.

I can't speek for all doms and I won't presume to say what a "real" dominant feels, but the kind of dominant I am CRAVES that burden. We crave all the burdens. Whether it's the literal burden like your heavy suitcase or the metaphorical burden of your fears and anxieties, or the burden of planning for our travel together or our joint finances, doing what we are able to do to take on those burdens makes us feel fulfilled.

You know how you feel when you play your submissive role, giving us pleasure, looking up to us, allowing us to lead? Playing your role as a submissive makes you feel complete. Well, for me and other doms like me, taking on those burdens completes us in very much the same way. It's doing what we were meant to do.

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what-she-wrote · 4 months

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what-she-wrote · 10 months

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what-she-wrote · 11 months

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super not normal about non-sexual dominance like

making me hold his hand while crossing the road

ordering for me at restaurants

always keeping a hand on me, especially when we're out

grabbing my chin to make me look up at him

picking things for me when shopping

shushing me when i speak poorly about myself or say something bratty

patting my head and petting me whenever and wherever

there's more but just...idk it would make me feel so small and owned... ♡

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