I want to watch the fallout show just in case they make a monster factory reference. Is this a bad idea chat? Are we that deep in the paint that this is gonna happen?

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

god i love making animatics in my head i wish drawing was real

this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

Idk man it was better in my head

Yeaaah back at my Minecraft world I’ve got a California king ok maybe it’s a red wool bed with some roommates (wolves I domesticated) don’t worry they’re cool!

Yeaaah back at my Minecraft world I’ve got a California king ok maybe it’s a red wool bed with some roommates (wolves I domesticated) don’t worry they’re cool!

finally managed to get this ouizzy fic out of my drafts. it's been cooking since the first week of episodes dropped back in october. hope you enjoy.

holy shit youtubers can actually learn from their mistakes ???

sorry i cant stop watching this

I have unwittingly witnessed a new level of the absurd. Behold, the AI-generated equine anatomy models.

Ah yes, my favourite parts of the equine body. Paster and... *looks at the smudged writing on hand* boob. At least this one looks purely decorative and the being actually looks like a horse. But don't worry, it gets worse.

If we completely ignore the hipopotamus musculature of this one, there's still a lot of things that don't make sense in this one, like a tail that ends in a series of bone spikes and a complete lack of molars. You could make a cool pokemon on the basis of this, but it's not even in the realm of being an actual anatomy help.

I'm firmly convinced this is not a horse, this is something that really, really wants you to think it is a horse. The more you look, the more things look... wrong. The more details turn out to be shifted, bones crammed in to fill in the familiar form, its shape merely implied so that the human mind fills the gap. Of course the text seems like gibberish, because its anatomy is incomprehensible. it's either a parasite or a monster and in each case, it's an eldtrich body horror. I'm kind of angry at how well this joke writes itself.

This Game Changer moment is going to live rent free in my head for the rest of my life.

"Are you trying to say Tatooine?"

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

me. me when a poem says something ive felt before

the midwest princess!

Greek Nathan's foot long Yogurt Hot Dogs