lyric scraps 8/1/13
5/23/13
you went to saturday night's party
and woke up on sunday's floor
5/14/12
i expected you to speak as i dream
i'm sorry
understand i say things as a friend
and sometimes more than
my noose was your tongue
the words were sending out
but the connection hung
5/16/12
four years down the road
or four years down the drain
drawing blood from my veins
and pictures of my brain
4/25/12
i'm sick of society
how they try to measure sins
by how great the tragedy
and how small the violins
4/26/12
i'm not the favorite anymore
and maybe with good cause
i sensed you pulling away from me
and i took out my claws
6/6/12
i'll drown in your deluge
i'm acting like a stooge
got nothing left to lose
this point in time
5/20/12
when you feel like you need a brother
and the mirrors tell you to kill
know that tears run thicker than blood
and always will
5/28/12
they call me a fool
a inconsiderate ass
ya know i go to school
but i ain't got no class
4/2/12
i'm going to visit
the boy i love
he speaks to me through
he speaks to me through
old sound waves
not yet rotten
i'm going to visit
the girl he loved
she speaks to me too
she speaks to me too
dead voices
not forgotten
we killed them slowly
as we took over
we need their bodies
it's only instinct
they couldn't handle
the situations
what killed them slowly
and scarred their bodies
we have their memories
6/1/12
high school queen bee
bitch honey
has she seen me?
does she think it's funny?
7/5/12
i can feel something restless and waiting inside of me
maybe it's anxiety or anticipation
or maybe it's pee
i count all the liquids in my life
face moisturizer and water and key lime juice and an aqueous solution of coffee in the morning
5/30/12
you can say i'm old
even without you
you smell like a dissection
your words are cutting too
5/31/12
our cage
arcades
our cage
arcades
10/5/12
parlons, parlons
c'est interdit
car il n'ya pas de mots ici
reviens, reviens,
c'est vrai enfin
que les vrais mots
n'importent rien
5/10/12
i wanna be your test drive
don't forget your gasoline
you can rule what hearts you want to
let me be your blueprint scheme
demo queen
1/11/13
the sound of your voice can disarm me
a cat been picked up by the scruff
i've known all along you'd never harm me
but i guess it just wasn't enough
i guess it wasn't enough
10/9/12
you are not my love
you walk around in his clothes
you walk around in his face
but you are not my love
we're dying trying to replace
1/13/13
hey dad too bad
your rules are made of bread not iron clad
i heard you don't like my hair
too much here, wrong color there
well guess what, i can still go anywhere,
sit in the boss's chair
5/30/13
pomme empoisonnee
je vais te faire rester
chante pour moi dans la claire de l'une de tes
8/1/13 reves qui sont vrai
4/8/12
he had it figured out
in terms of fairytales
and when he tried for wonderland
he didn't think of you
and when you tried to understand
and if you try to follow him
you'll just be split in two
4/30/12
she's bleach, she's ice, she's milk and candy
queen of tragic hearts like yours
she never asked for any trouble
shredding flowers on all fours
pills and poultice kicking stomachs
underwater leaden petals
bite if you dare but make it swift
bite all you want but only if
drawing faces everywhere,
an audience of millions' stares
6/4/12
i feel like the past year's a waste
i know i've traveled the world
but i'm worse or the same
i'm sure you've heard that
there's plenty of fish in the sea
but i hide in my shell;
you're allergic to me
3/21/13
sleeping like a beauty queen
found the spindle at age 16
decided she would join the team
said this is better than any dream
4/6/13
all calmed down and jaded
and my scars already faded
should i make new
what should i do?
4/6/13
music is her sustenance
she lives on jupiter and mars
2/18/13
i showed up and the entire party was passed out-
now that's what i call the collective unconscious!
april/13
"ex box"
i'll put you in a box with my mistakes
love letters, memories, old tapes
and hopefully in 10 more years
i will not sit here playing couldabeen
3/17/13
fall apart but don't fall off
3/18/13
i knew all your favorites and i thought i made the list
you gave me so much but i have nothing left of you
you don't have a clue
you don't give a shit do you
not even about the few
who even deign to talk to you
3/28/13
trust your instincts
if he seems like bad news
then you better call the papers on him
4/10/12
my body's wooden and man-made
am i ripe for the fire
am i meant to be saved
when i lie there is consequence
i lie against my will
but i don't want to be a real boy
real boys only kill
1/3/12 (poem thing- it was on my phone and i kept forgetting about it)
what drives
this endless cycle in our lives?
sleep deprivation all work and no play
it's only survival in a way
what gives?
the story is sad but true my friend
it may seem crazy but in the end
the lunatic is the one that lives
7/25/13
when i say i've lost my mind
can't tell if it's gone or just something i can't find
7/22/13
say so many things at once that for a moment
i can forgive and forget myself
6/27/13
and to be honest i think i'm kind of ugly
but i don't care
and to be honest i think i'd probly kiss you
if you were here
and now you're 19, it seems so strange
how we would freak out all the time
and talk to ease the pain
and when we're 30, please don't forget me
5/26/13
sharpened pencil and liar's skin
i tried to fight back
i got all the guilt you lack
i've been taught to let people like you win
fuck that
1/21/13
take your medicine
(take it with a grain of salt)
your voice of reason doesn't talk
here comes the lady made of clock-
work, time for your electric shocks
2/13/13
and our time wasn't wasted
like i wish i were tonigh
2/17/13
you grew and clipped
my wings time and
time again
you made me learn
how to get by
on my own mind
just far enough
to be alright
i'm ready
the change will come
and will occur
and i will learn
from changing
5/22/12
i wanna sit in a room for hours
and play you all my songs
especially the ones about you
but not even my closest friends
pay attention for very long
3/6/13
the sight of the pacific- california
i wrote some words specifically for ya
3/10/13
i refuse to comb my hair
more power to my righteous mop
i'll put a sign says please don't stare
right over your sign says i must be stopped
3/15/13
stripped of the words you hear
and now my teeth are bare
3/12 offend because it's there
3/14/13
empty stomach sleep
3/15 i choke on wool,
lose count of sheep
3/15/13
i make my promises to break…
they're not your dreams to take
lay and lose my head
i fall, land screaming in my bed
neurapparatus, nightmare plague
the cause is rather vague
3/23-24/13
"waltz time"
my parents are pretty
my sisters are pretty
my weird friends from school
grew up normal and cool
how come i have to live
with my failures, my faults
it's like life is in 4/4
and all i can do is the waltz
5/25/13
i stepped on a rose
and sprinkled the sidewalk
with blood from my toes
3/8/13
"home groan"
i dreamed that someday i'd get to walk in the sun
but i wasn't even playing outside when it went down
6/16/13
you taught me every lie i've ever known
you told me to fit in or be alone
but look how i've survived and how i've grown
in spite of you
you said i'd reached developmental halt
that all the crimes against me were my fault
so i became
numb bleeding out my shame
with only me to blame
or so i thought wrong
i will flourish free of your flaws
your flaws are not my problem
my flaws are not yours
to harm me with
6/26/13
i wouldn't call it small talk
because you're all talk
let's light up some neural circuits
6/7/13
i had to jump ship, it got too weighed-down to float
i took off in the dinghy with the songs that i wrote…
i had to jump ship, it got too heavy to float
and maybe we should kiss just to shut up our ghosts
i don't care one way or another, but we came so close
all those years ago
we'll report back to captain karo
on our empty boat
(cause you know whatever happens
you know we got her vote)
4/22/13
in this great ablation nation
4/28/13
no one appreciates
so we inondate
run out and replicate,
overcompensate
-
cry exterminate
we've run out of things to say
you're full of air,
flatten like souffle
-
if you don't, i may
mere exposure,
love you cause you're there
4/23/13
changes of mind
come in liquids and pills
you can't even start
to tell the difference
between a change of mind
and a change of heart
6/11/13
we've got lines upon lines of no sleeping
and papers for the final review
you just seem to keep on keeping
but me i just don't know what to do
i have no clue
0 notes
I just gathered up a pile of post-its and other bits of paper on my floor. on these papers are about a year's worth of lyric scraps and random lines. some are used in songs, some appear more than once. some were not on paper and i typed them on my phone instead. some are based on me and some are totally in character. some are cool sounding and some are stupid and cheesy.
i am consolidating them here. at this point, most have dates on them. the order will be roughly most recent to oldest, starting with late 2011- early 2012 (present) and going back to whenever i uploaded the last one. here we go.
3/21
your hand will hold mine
but your voice will not requite me
why does it feel like
you always fight me
4/? (mid april)
you want to drown in soda pop fame
you'll drink up the bubbles and think it's champagne
while the high fructose corn syrup seeps in your brain
eats away at your mind
in sweet processed bliss
and you want to die this way
tangled in fame's kiss
2/27
fit in, don't let 'em see you care
lend your conscience, lend your hair
cut and dye
cut-and-dry
got new shoes i hope you're gonna keep 'em tied
straight face
cheap lace
know your poses
know your
-- place!
2/28
[first line goes here- i never wrote one]
in these luminescent headlights i find you prettier than moonlight
the rearview mirrors are cameras whose feeds all show up on the dashboard
hey man we need a dash of something 'cause we're so bored…
sobered…
nothing is a let out
nothing is a let out
nothing is a let out
oh-oh…
/no date/
just movie kisses
those hollow-woods
talk with their teeth
1/14
you like to send me vicarious travel
and i long
for closer than company
the sound of your voice
running rings round the sun
2/26
i owe you a lot for all the music
i owe you a lot for the times i fought you
i owe you the fact that i wasn't alone
why are you still here?
what have i done?
3/5
i wanna rip you out of my system
count all the chances- you missed 'em
giving me emotions
i got the orders, hate the mission
it seems you never learn
it seems you never learn
burn!
your words burn me out.
get off my mouth.
1/17
if you got a color we demand a million shades
drip-wax seals and caustic marinades
in the midst of politics and people screaming
poetry rises without a meaning
3/20
you think the things i do
the talking feels like new
you listen when i ask you to
safety pin my shadow to your arms
so i can go there
seal away these secrets in a box
no one has to know where
3/20
I've been known for shooting mirrors
no one wants to hold my fingers
all your pretty dresses
won't make me a little lady
i'm a bad motherfcker
I'M A GUNPOWDER BABY
1/22
she saw him shortly after he got hurt
warnings and dirt
no shame
morning advances
dirt morning advances
taking chances
seems profane
3/17
you're looking for and like me
3/17
I thought that i was gone from you forever
and you as part of me were all but severed
i was sad that we were not together
but then we traveled time and were recovered
again i notice all those things
22s and hearing trains
it's great to have you back again
2/9
shut your mouth story and tell your brain waves
they cannot come and live in my ears
there's no place
there is no time
there's no place for you
place for you here
2/26
open wide
shy outside
Jeck'll hide
from the world
2/21
and i will pray
for every last one of you
1/25
this is a 911 to everyone
this thing has got to stop
[this monster's got to stop]
I could be the warm
lightning to your storm
1/28
dressed to the nines
for the tens and elevens
you're rich as hell
cause you spent all your heaven
1/30-31
daily dose of stupid juice
look who made the tv noose
sell yourself and sign the truce
where's your right to choose?
1/27
now she withers and wishes she'd known
she'd have to die to free her bones
12/29
wordless and worthless
3/9
pester rain won't go
won't leave me alone
and i can hear the water
shaking in my ears
i can see the water
shaking in my eyes
i can taste the water
shaking in my mouth
i can feel the water shaking in my blood
going to quench dry bones
the water
the water
3/10
hold my veins away from me
hold my veins against me
stain of restrain
as i strain to restrain
as i strain to contain
3/10
under all the pressure
of everything you know
the pressure is relieved now
feels like you let me go
under the impression
you're mine to throw around
i only wanted to hold you
and you let me down
3/10
smarter made me shrug
and safer made me prone
and older made me smug
and smug made me alone
3/17
the one i heard
was only words
found out you lied
and since then i
take back my smiles
you lying child
the one i kissed
does not exist
3/7
recurrences of my old self
wolf as i were
as soon as i smelled spring
as soon as i smelled spring
i am not
the same loon
nor are you
the old you
and nothing that i thought
was true.
2/6
raze the curtain for the final bow
2/2
bleeding and bleeding
on knives of the mind
2/10
a kiss to shut the door for good
a kiss that this will never be
thoughts in the dark
holding knives to my mind
2/10
hole in my jeans on the thigh from my thumb
it'd be the latest fashion if it weren't the only one
and i cry out
to the sellouts
cause the setters know best
trendsetters know best
wait my heart out
cardboard cutout
transcending their best, la mode
just waiting for their suns to set
and explode
1/15
what i said was in the past is still around
/no date- probably late 2011/
-losing daylight and my mind
-catch my breath and a glimpse of the sun
-out of bed and time
-waiting tables and patiently
-change of season and clothes
1/31
a day so fine
caught myself standing in line
it was my turn
i took it for the worse
i meant it
the means that bring the ends
it all depends on what you're looking at
/no date- based on an older line/
this is not the place where you were born
this is not the calm before the storm
this is not a riot, this is the norm
it's a big world, you'll grow into it
12/25
we missed half the 90s before we were born
we missed half the 90s when we were alive
we are the babies who live in the past
we are the babies of nineteen-nine-five
winter's too cold but i'm plenty warm
and dying for more
trip on my tongue
kissing nineteen-nine-four
love and bleach and fire and gasoline
and screams and other things
of which we used to sing
i wish too much
can't find… can't find my mind
i'm a jaded old fuck and i wish i looked at music the same
2/25
smile for the camera
shot in the head
develop the pictures
lookin good good as dead
1/27
head will roll
to the soles in control
cold races to places, mistaken
plastic sarcastic
bashing the masses, tactics
TV static
no one knows how tragic
no one knows how tragic
you must be miss taken
sorry, my mistake
try to make amends
sever what offends
1/2
we are equal in these times
we are equal in these crimes
we are equal draw no lines
we are equal in our brine
what's in yours is what's in mine
head first in the media
just another stolen face
just another stolen place
swallowing your poison whole
just another slowin' pace
we're krill in the baleen of fame
chew and swallow stolen shame
1/1
i'm so fuckin bored and lazy
my stuff is all over the floor but maybe
i could clear a place
where we'd lie side by side and waste
a couple days
lost in vinyl haze
no "their"s no "they"s
1/2
a heart you never asked for in your hands
and what that heart demands
1/2
fuck you
calculater
piss off
smell u later
/no date/
dodging in and out of traffic
and each other's lives
/no date- 2011/
none of this is real
you're just a lie i tell myself
12/26
I said never mind
never mind
never mind
said whatever you do don't mind
5/26/11
kick it for sleeping
i like the crunch
i'm chewing up my mouth
prostrate ourselves
to RUMORS
11/26
[not typing the accents cause i'm lazy]
passe simple
l'enfance etait simple
nous n'avions pas une chance
taisez-vous
tout a coup
vos reves perdent leur romance
hey hey
cyclones lie in the eyes of the water
cyclones lie in the eyes of the water
cyclones lie in the eyes of the water
woah, woah, woah
read past simple
childhood was simple
we never had a chance
behave yourself
and all of a sudden
your dreams lose their romance
hey hey
les cyclones restent
dans les yeux de l'eau
les cyclones restent
dans les yeux de l'eau
les cyclones restent
dans les yeux de l'eau
whoa, whoa, whoa
11/20-21-22?
there was a time, young ones,
when life was a dream-sky,
supple and simple,
childhood was cake
we knew we had playthings
and daydreams for chasing
but not that they'd rot
into maggot-meat, quickly replaced
flicking bombs at Mother Riot
seeded boom in Riot's womb
started naming generations
started taking too much room
12/11
let's get famous and die in the blinding lights
we'll say he was our pretty little friend
we'll wait until he's dead and gone
and get to know him them
/no date- summer/
suffocated hockey
sister in a spray can
/no date/
i only feel like myself
when i'm by myself
i feel i only like myself
when i'm with someone else
11/15
bubble child, bubble child
inside her shell her mind runs wild
walls of concrete, writing in the grout
she sees mirrors but doesn't see out
i let no one in
i let no one in
i let no one in
staring at my skin, myopia
[tearing through my skin, myopia]
/no date/
are you sure you love the ones
who are laughing at your pain
you are a chain
and they will break you down
you are a flame
and they will burn you out
you oughta change
or else they'll push
until you cave
you are so brave
you're human in his arms
but are you human in his head
you're human in his arms
is it humid in his head
/no date 2011/
swallow your doubt
i hope you choke
close but no cigar, you shouldn't smoke
watch your step,
too close you'll go blind
you should learn to read between the lines
/no date summer 2011/
just picked a scab out of my ear
i think it's somewhere in my hair
and then i remembered
why the fuck should i care
i kinda really have to pee
i perform my functions bodily
they still go on
even if no one cares about me
terrestrial boredom
/no date/
the emptiness is draining
like all the light you're wasting
you're drooling and complaining
there's no spark
china cracks in broken plates
like watching milk evaporate
in the dark
/no date/
hello it's nice to meet you
i'm hungry but i think i'l feed you
blind and i would like to lead you
don't forget the ones who freed you
(someday they just might need you)
12/29
this is the dress i wore today
it doesn't smell like you and
its seams so black and blue and
i run the scizzors through and
the scentless dress is ruined
/no date summer 2011/
you were a child all rosy and pink
had screwed ideas of how things work
a library of libel just waiting to stink
you developed nervous quirks
all grown up and out of work
i'll stab you in the gut you jerk
/no date summer 2011/
the glue is busy fixing sneakers
you can wear your heart on your sleeve but not your feet
i like that thing adorning you
i would like to wear one too
11/27
trust your eyes to censor mirrors
trust the mind to make you care
trust the others in their wisdom
trust your own dead stare
11/28
i'm just your typical whiny-ass teen
with a big fat vain ego but no self-esteem
i can play a few chords
i get pissed when i'm bored
deep down all i want is to be adored
i'm lazy
high school sucks
rule #1, don't give a
/no date these are almost all 2011/
cry me into the sea
of dancing bodies
crowd energy
/no date/
count your possessions
counter obsession
you're in over your sick head
/no date/
DRIVE YOUR SHOES
/no date/
i don't have your dead ghost heart
why do you make things feel like it
you promised me love
is it lost in the mail?
blue eyes you could fall in love with
/no date/
you seem to know the stories behind these things
/no date/
i know you don't care for me
that i'm just her effigy
i know someday you'll see
you miss your chance with everyone
you always tell me all your dreams
you love like i'm projector screens
the naked canvas for your slide machine
/no date spring 2011/
factories bottline purified air
while spewing their smoke to the sky
/no date/
your mind doesn't rule very well
and your body rebels
/no date/
if you want to free the freed from freedom
turn up the TV proceeding to feed 'em
i've been writing love songs behind your back
/no date/
you remember things were so much better
in the decade before you were born
i wouldn't make my world so loud
if i didn't have so much to drown out of my system
you and me
forever in our infamy
/no date/
love feeds on milk
and valentine candy
she feeds on [flowers/roses/petals]
and an artist's [starving/beating/bleeding] heart
quick and painless
stolen stainless
/no date march 2011/
a cloud floats high above the ground
someday we will shoot it down
i'll probably end up with
someone like you
/no date summer 2011/
i'll take your hand
i'll run you dry
i'll whisper to you
whisper baby
"don't you love the lie?"
/no date/
behaviour and instinct
naked on the inside
/no date spring 2011/
you're my perfect
you're my pretty
someday this will
speak to you
i want you
to myself
FUCK EVERYTHING
TAKE ME BACK TO THERAPY
oops
/no date summer 2011/
you'll censor her thorns
so her love doesn't hurt
this girl is a flower
she'll die without dirt
it's war on the papers
the movers and shakers
/no date/
you only love me in your dreams
/no date/
dead laughter tele
/no date/
i was an idiot child
bent on chasing cliches
and now i have no answers
for the questions you raise
and the lies you shake
off the wall-
phone call
/no date/
sometimes i feel like old gum on the sidewalk-
used up and no longer wanted
i wanna be different just like everyone else
she was born into royalty
out of heaven in a hole
/no date/
who knows where they begin and end
always loved you as a friend
/no date/
collective subconsious
a black-and-white photograph
we looked at the flag
and we all saw red
/no date/
i wish we had our whole lives to do this, but we don't.
we have rationed hours in the afternoon and we need
to hurry or else we'll never get it done in time.
/no date march 2011/
i slept like it was summer
and i dreamed [like/til] i was dead
i can't stand no knowing how the story ends
it's true we'd make a good pair
but we're even better friends
i only love you cause i can't control my brain
i'm scared of spit
and i'm a hypocrite
and i hate you
cause you're one too
/no date/
i wonder if i'm nauseous
i really can't tell
deleterious,
man I'm serious!
i'm intemperate
laughing off the awkward tension
can you tell what i'm thinking?
oh please don't tell
/no date spring 2011/
you only go to places to say you've been
everyone's a freak
/no date/
teach us well for now, the year
and if their money doesn't want him here
he'll go away to live in mountains
"daddy what's a water fountain?"
trickle, trickle
hurrikeynesians
8/4-or-5/2011
31 hours today
lumbar bumps
and a glass of champagne
time flies on a plane
…time flies on a plane
they tell you how much time remains
like the games we played as children
where everything can be solved by building more guns
i may be loud
but i'm no punk
i just like safety pins
and all sorts of useless junk
recline
and don't mind
i'll see them all from first to lost
/no date/
are ya tuned
/no date/
i'd cry if i could
i know you can't take the stress
i love you but i'm a mess
if this isn't real then where's your objection?
i slept through friday afternoon
/no date/
state of matter
fusion
fission
fuck amusement
fuck decision
/no date/
museum sleeper
/no date/
optic love
so close to here
so unaware
would you like a kiss goodbye?
'Lyn believes in me
/no date/
sin of envy
soaked in her fat cells
dull advantage
/no date/
i am made of flesh,
you are made of zeroes and ones.
is that true?
[quote from cleverbot]
i held the computer as she shut down
emitting a warmth for us to share
/no date/
beasts of change
11/1
you left without a word
you had me for desert
11/2
last year wasted my december
doting on my dear dissembler
now i choose not to remember
now i choose not to remember
/no date/
air thick with sparks
you'll fall in love with anyone
as long as you have got no chance
i'm in love and you're a ghost
you think you're so mighty,
might as well
i know it's not
your fate to rot
cause baby nothing's settled
queen of arcs and angles
out looking for birds will never
get you very far
just jack white's look-alike
sitting in the woods with a guitar
/no date/
cuts and bruises
[hearts and roses/dying muses]
nothing left to run from
game-bored
indie-cision
fantasies of mind control
and sex and drugs and rock and roll
/no date/
you're old enough to read a map
depeche-toi and mind the gap
be careful not to overlap
with oncoming trains
you've got all night, you've got no right
you've got a week
i think you're old enought to keep
that trigger finger on your lap
you're screaming out your brain
it's-not-o-k
freedom for oil and dogs chewing tin foil
it's painless at best
spilling ice from a hole in my chest
you were right about me and i'm wearing a wire
don't worry it'll all end well
but i'll kill anyone you tell
my heart my head
play dumb play dead
i want to be the girl who
always sings in the hallway
i want the apathy
to curb my indecision
i want to speak
and feel no remorse for speaking
i want to be the girl with a dark secret
notice me
there are pills for everything
there are pills for everything
/no date/
no soul, you're all just numbers
digits on the counter
culture
's hand
go against the grain
but go against the same grain
keep different names
but have the same brain
operate as you were trained
/no date/
circle in a square half
/no date/
i got struck by lightning
walking home in the rain
and i saw the future with my own brain
i died young, but older than i thought
but enough about me and all the things i bought
the government had total control
and they were holding a funeral for rock n roll
/no date/
barb wire eyes
piss-warm smile
/no date/
look at me
your stare
cold glare
your
pair o' lies
real eyes
/no date/
my tongue
my head
play dumb
play dead
lay down
lay low
my town
my ghosts
/no date/
mirror mirror diamond ring
you know we'll have our fun
i'll kiss you when i think i'm pretty,
shoot you when i'm done
/no date/
i wanted to learn the ropes and be a big shot record producer
save me computer science
just like you've saved and killed us all
the human race got dumb
i'll save my friends and then blast off to space
i'm done
track 6
track 6
make me
/no date/
the taste of pennies on my tongue
watching the future eat its young
[i'm pretty sure my dad wrote at least the first line of that.
the second one might have been mine i don't remember]
/no date/ [these are cool but i don't remember writing them]
rats and stones
you stroke my bones
ice cream cone
i drip alone
pray tell, what would you like to be, sir?
a champion disgracer?
a monkey deceaser?
embryonic scars
welcome, my children
/no date/
leave me be, i'm no forgiver
i will have these scars forever
this is not a riot,
this is the norm
/no date/
i'm a hated figure but i have no regrets
i'll melt all the glass in the television sets
[my dad wrote the first line, i wrote the second one]
/no date/
you taught me that sometimes your children come home
and you don't have to be madly in love with every album you own
and you taught me that sometimes wounds heal without scars
and you taught me not everyone travels in cars
and dust doesn't have to gather on the shelves
and sometimes we must remember to love ourselves
in a world that's just bursting with personal hells
/no date/
just saw lightning
but i don't hear rain
/no date/
a man who believes he can hide behind wealth
he'll say there's no heaven
he'll say there's no health
/no date/
i don't have to wonder because i know
/no date/
they tell you it takes brains to stay,
it takes guts to drop out
it's never my turn is it
10/12
bare hands in the garden
calling to his falcon
sailing on his galleon
til he fell off the horizon
11/9
deep down i fear it's getting cold
and i just want another warm body to hold
get off my mouth
12/10
can i hold you
and feel your lungs laugh?
burn diary
notice the color
your past in combustion
/no date fall 2011/
i'll do to you
what you are to me
FOOD MAKES MOOD
ther's no stopping human nature
tell that to the legislature
/no date/
were you sleepy on your wedding day?
did you ever see it coming?
/no date/
apocalypse kiss
think of situations
but not yet
not while there is consequence
9/26
"Headless Barb"
happy birthday, here's a Headless Barb
dressed in her garbage manufactured garb
teach the little girls to starve
all dolls are beautiful
some dolls are carved
wear a wire, Headless Barb
tear my childhood leave your scars
princesses have plastic parts
live in pink houses and drive pink cars
be like her and end up dead
got a hollow malleable head
all her organs cannot fit
never eats and never shits
/no date/
you held your tongue now spare me mine
you [had/missed] your chance a lot of times
I'll make the list another time
tall candles cry, burn down
i said something wrong, who hasn't?
somebody pissed in the gene pool
yesterday somebody drowned
/no date/
i can't fix it: myself
change the shit world
/no date/
i understand the things i say
may come across as such cliches
but i adore the way you walk
even when you walk away
and i don't know how well you know me yet
or if you'd even want me
girl you got me in a quandry
i'm in love
/no date august 2011/
i'll tell you when it's time to dance
i'l be your clock with swallowed hands
/no date/
haven't picked it up since but i got real close
i got breakfast cereal brains and my tongue is toast
i'm all mixed up the clear is coast
are you gonna leave me?
10:02
i'll call you
in 20 minutes
but by then
i'll be pissed again
anger's my bad habit
/no date/ [not a lyric but it's a thought i wrote down]
That glorious moment when you've been staring into space, paused, searching for the right word, and suddenly, it appears, snatched out of the air, and clicks into place like a puzzle piece.
/no date/
always real polite to strangers
i act shitty toward my friends
soft embryo of an idea
i ate all my brainchildren
/no date/
burping shirt
/no date summer 2011/
how's your new plaything?
are you bored with her yet?
she believes in you this time
how soon we forget
is she after your money?
are you after her debt?
would you cut her some slack?
you think you're a tinker
and you're turning a key in her back
you want a diamond
you want it rough
it's always the same
and it's never enough
/no date/
it hurts so that i won't fuck up again
but now the pain comes even when
i've done nothing wrong
i'd never try
to take another's place
i'll leave you alone
just get out of my face
a smile is ugly
and so i am, your grace
/no date summer 2011/
i look better hiding in my clothes
where no one goes
no one knows
no one
cares
wear and
tear
no one
dares
stop and
stare
no one
/no date/
i'm falling down the stairs
/no date/ [prose thingy]
you can't demand the respect they'd give an adult if you're going to overreact and throw a tantrum like a 5 year old child
you can't be arrogant and condescending and expect them to like you.
let me tell you something, princess. you live in the real world with real people, not the world in your sick head.
and someday there will be a situation you can't sweet-talk your way out of, and reality will hit you like a ton of bricks to the balls.
11/17
elle adore danser
mais pas quand on regarde
/no date/ [prose thingy kinda goes with the other one]
you won't always have a system of sugar coated rules to protect you, and despite what you'd like to think, you're not that great at lying to cover your tracks. you don't have perfect control of yourself, and denying your flaws doesn't make them disappear.
/no date/
i didn't let it go
it could mean something
i love you when you're not around
can't stand you when you are
you won't love me but you'll stroke my fingernails
planes flying over my house then yours
we feel too safe at this day in age
falling for someone
you think that you choose?
i tried so hard not to
can i ask you something unrelated?
it spreads like dandelions on fire
and i am last to know
dance with me in my living room
hope you enjoyed that,
cause i'll overthink it and i might not wake
i can't picture anyone with you
like i can't picture anyone with me
adding years to her collection
isn't this enough? she asks
you are a replyless fool
yes i'd hold you in my arms
yes i'd kiss that stupid face
i'd swear you to secrecy anyday
i'm not desperate, fact i hate the taste
/no date/
spent you on a conversation
hey hey they wait you out
you're the king of sere-nation
hey hey they wait me out
we listen for planes and trains in the dark
i sit in my ball pit basement
she's in love with the world
can i sleep now?
got a mind full of cities and 600 friends
replace the other muses that were living in my head
one of them is dead to me
the other one's (just) dead
11/11/11
start off my day with a massive blood sugar spike…
enough with the sadistic shreiking
do you enjoy inflicting pain on other people's ears?
does it make you happy?
there are other human beings here
…I hope a walrus crushes you :3
a song i wrote on notebook paper 2/24
"Don't Know Me"
in your mind you think
that it would do no harm
to make me dress up
just to wear on your arm
weeks and months
of false-alarm
demands and shaking hands
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
and i don't know you
cellphone bruise and razor glint
a year ago you told me i can' take a hint- ha!
you're the one who doesn't get it
-forget it
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
and i don't know you
[guitar solo or something]
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
you don't know me at all
and i don't know you
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here are the lyrics scraps and other random crap i had saved on my phone because it's taking up a lot of space and i almost lost it once so let's get this over with
even most of the lyrics are pretty bad but there are a few decent ones also some of them are out of order but most have dates on them
2012
12.23
one razor at a time
earning mother's love
12.31
nothing's shiny anymore
11.12
swallow the key
solder the locks
shut my face in a plastic box
11.16
staring at the sky in the dark
as you wait for the movie to start
11.12
drip your drops of old amusement
10.25
take back the throne, take back what's mine
i'll take back the blood you filled with my wine
10.26
the lesser of evils will lead us
12.17
i can't pinpoint the last time i held you before you changed
[no date]
"summer"
i can't wait until summer. it's warm and we have no school and it has the perfect amounts of daytime and nighttime. the bad thing about summer is i always make a lot of plans but they never come to fruition, at least not as i had hoped. i hope a lot of things for summer. i think summer is better as a hope than as a reality. still, i can't wait for summer because i dislike homework and waking up early. though next summer i will probably have all that. so all i'm left with is missing my friends cause i can't see them everyday. maybe i'm better off abandoning summer. maybe i'm just jaded and annoyed in all seasons. maybe i just miss being a child when summer and winter and all the seasons meant something and i knew hot to play outside and i had an imagination. this has been an essay by me.
4.10
and we used to be broken together
i've been so alone ever since you got better
4.16
thoughts of old ambitions
i would if things were different
slowly losing interest
i'm nicer when i'm drunk
i miss what we had
i'm not getting it back
6.13
i left the fan on all night
it chopped my dreams, tangled
2.19
gettin lies from a girl but he chooses to believe her
gettin music in his head from a radio receiver
falls right in love with every pretty face he sees
this boy is 96 degrees
but he thinks he has a fever
6.19
did you whisper to her
"hit me in the head again"
i try to tie myself together
arms going seismic
i threaten to explode
go on avoiding
wear her like a fire
it's fuel for my furnace
and i am the pyre
6.22
some things rot and some things rust
6.20
you wasted my time and you wasted my trust
6.23
and i don't get mad when mosquito bites start to itch
when i was a parasite at least i had a niche
6.22
the air feels just like summer
sticky humidity
thick as my stupidity
6.23
you spend 2012 with another girl
we weren't even friends til the end of the world
6.24
nothing seems to beautiful
and i keep wishing i were drunk
what do you want me to say
i'm stupid sober anyway
6.25
ever notice how we parody our own existence
laughter is medicine and we're all junkies
6.26
my brain's got an itch
i stopped hating myself and i turned into a bitch
it's bad the way it all went down
i may be a bitch but i keep my promises
call me again if rogue wave's in town
7.4
other people's midnight is my 3am
7.4
our bodies grow up around us
7.5
what gave it away?
was it my heavy breathing
or was it the fact that i explicitly said
you look just like the monsters that live in my head?
7.5
it's normal for her to be weird
and it's weird for her to be normal
she's innocent
she makes no sense
she's just like my dreams…
7.6
i hope your life is full of bliss
i hope it's all parades and circuses
7.5-6
someday you'll find a girl who will write you an even better lovesong than i did,
and when you do, invite me to the wedding.
7.11
disguise the limit
7.13
i mourn my heart
and everything else that died in your hands
7.14
i had my words laid out across my lips
you just kinda punched them off
7.15
you're my piece of poison cake
7.19
candy apple
heart's delight
i'll have you in pieces by the end of the night
7.24
the radio buzzing
a perpetual fart
7.29
media re writing mirrors
vomit tears and blood will river
out the door from shudder shivers
camera chimera feeding on your fears
8.1
the air was still
i had to fix it
8.3
thoughts attempt to escape my head
i'm trying to sleep
i start punching the bed
you've fallen before
you know it's a war
8.3
i talk too much today
about the feelings i had once
i plan my conversations
days in advance
(the origin of this one was me thinking, hmm… what rhymes in british english but not american english?)
8.10
nothing's changed since the revolution
and everyone still thinks it's revolutionary
8.10
ugly jugular juggernaut
7.18
summer is my time to rot
8.13
it's the eyes that justify the suffering
8.17
"dictionary"
a heart is a chaos machine
and life is a struggle to be ok
8.17
putting on placebo scars
8.18
we are not the highest tier
it seems our humility
fermented to fear
and so we run…
small racetracks laced with pain
we run…
our safety drills in vain
we run… from anything we know might help us
heaven help us
8.18
like swallowing that sip of red wine
just half a second too soon
8.25
symptoms of adulthood
8.29
desire to recreate the times you liked
it's hard to ask for things you can't describe
8.29
ask me what i planned to do today
guess what didn't happen today
8.30
apathy in a bottle
9.3
say something flattering
love you are maddening
something is shattering
breaking and battering
9.5
turn to stone and feel no more
turn to flesh and die
9.5
i would comfortably say to your face
what i've been saying behind your back
9.5
let me out of this dusty skull
9.7
sleep little one
spend your childhood dreaming
this all can be taken away and it will
sleep old one sleep
waste your final breath dreaming
your life can be taken away
and it will
9.12
crumble down like bowling pins
deadly seven
deadly seven
deadly seven
-ten split
sins
9.13
i am a sound
nothing to profound
component of the echo underground
9.13
and stupid with bad kisses
9.18
that's when i knew it was over for sure
you became the cause instead of the cure
and i don't need to hurt myself anymore
9.19
most lives occur
within a caffeine blur
what's so much worse
about a heroin haze
9.23
some things you can learn from research,
some things you can learn from practice,
but some things you just have to learn by being stupid
9.26
all that is mine is my discretion
i am not your fight
i am not your weapon
10.1
done with pronouns
get your own nouns
10.2
even after you were better
i just kept trying to fix you
til i
broke
down
you think i hate you, dumbfuck?
why hate a stranger?
just remember who you clung to
when you bore the scars of your own danger
10.4
you'll make it ok, you'll get there in time
everyone has their shit to deal with
wade through the shit and you'll rinse off and shine
10.9
embryonic generation
10.10
so many fake replies
but when you greet me
it's a natural hi
10.11
i've never been the type to know my own wants
and i'm a different person every six months
10.16
i'll gladly give you everything
just tell me who i am
10.18
but no word has meaning
until it is consummated with the death of a tree
10.19
it's better that it's your fault
i couldn't take the guilt
and you can't comprehend just what you've done
10.22
our fragile civilization
has fallen to its knees
cause we reject what help we get
we'd rather have our thieves
10.22
i give myself these nightmares
an early funeral gift
10.24
and now i burn my flag to save it
from those who don't deserve to wave it
we deserve the guilt
for the world our fathers' fathers built
this pain we can't forget
for the victims' children's children feel it yet
we have not won
yet we act as though the battle's dead and done
we are not one
bleeding from the seams for centuries torn
11.1
vulnerable
we exposed our opened skin
gifts of music and inspiration
you took me to the cities you built on paper
you told me your dreams, your movies
your secrets
and i wrote
lyrics of my thoughts
drawings of my fears
time passes
minds clear, or at least change
music gets old, i guess
skin heals up
and presence just isn't enough
11.4
the light in the bathroom's on
we know that the fires burn out by dawn
11.19
it's not my conscience
that's givin me guilt
11.26
you learned to play the rules
or else you smoldered with the century
every house marked with a happy green sign
like a video game neighborhood set up with a click overnight
steady commercial airline flatlining my pulse in the sky
11.26
cut by feathers
cut from apathy
cut tomorrow
and last night from me
count to zero
count for everything
arrow arrow
don't let go of me
dealer breaker
fake as everything
11.30
maybe we're just mad
because it hurt us when we fell
or maybe we're just angels
who once dipped a hand in hell
12.2
brewing a storm inside my stomach
12.2
waking up with scars after the anger's gone
12.2
i wanna get so old it doesn't hurt anymore
12.1-2
write me my obitchuary
i'm a woman now
12.3
i have no place in time or space
12.7
red my lips before the show
12.9
your body was there but you weren't the one
making it breathe
12.9
wishing you would stop
but also wishing i still did the same
12.9
i have no idea what you're talking about
you must think i'm a fool
baby things aren't the way
they were in school
12.10
if i were only a few years older maybe i wouldn't have missed so much
12.14
i fucking miss the person you used to be
12.14
a year ago i wish i'd told you
how i felt and how i wanted to kiss you
10.9
at a certain point, you'll realize you're surrounded by gasoline.
you don't have to drown.
burn it off, little by little.
you'll have light, you'll have heat.
thrive on what would have killed you until there's not a trace of it left.
and i'll keep writing songs until i've all but forgotten your name
9.19
dark horizon
but i won't let it turn my memories to poison
there's no taking back the barriers you've risen
2013
2.24
i always feel like i'm out of the loop
out of the infinite loop
2011
[no date]
i tripped the alarm and it fell on its face
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