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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

She strogan me off till I beef

having fun over there huh you little scamp? having a little laugh in my inbox?

hey what the FUCK was that ending

Meeeeee :333

normalize having more than one best friend. "best friend" shouldn't just be a title reserved for one person... best friend is a species...

some people live their lives without even being obsessed with some guy. if you call that living

ok

work was awful and then my tire popped an hour away from where i live and then i can't do shit till Thursday about it

car tire exploded :)))

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.