Found this on a K-tigers (Taekwondo Channel) dance cover video. Ignoring how Korean martial arts ≠ Japanese martial arts, equating real life human beings to anime characters is extremely rude and disrespectful. Especially when most people are still extremely sensitive about what happened between Korea and Japan during WWII. 

Weeb in metorology class

I am taking metrology class this semester. Its great and I love it. But one issue Weather weeb. Weather weeb is this weeb who is just a pain in the ass. She talks about hetalia (cause as I found out hetalia weebs are still a thing) and some other anime. Also she's a big britaboo. Once in class she tried to show me anime. The professor told her to put her phone away. But she never listens. Since I sit next to her I can see she looks up USUK fanfics on her phone. She found out I was going to UK with my sister over break. Weather weeb said and I am not kidding here, "I wanna go." Ok first I barely know you and secondly this is a trip I am taking with my sister. I told her no. Then she asked for me to get her something. When I returned she kept bugging me for her present. Told her I forgot. No interest in what I did aside for the doctor who museum in Cardiff. She wanted something there. But back to the weeaboo stuff she did. 

So we were given a project where we were to present about something that had to do with weather. I chose the great smog of London. She found out and insisted we work together. Now we did not need a partner and even if we did I would not work with her. She some how convinced our professor to allow her to do the same thing. So skip to the project presentation. People liked mine. Weather web's project was Hetalia England pictures and minimal info. People were asking her questions and she was like, "I don't know!" Yeah. When we got grades back she complained how unfair it is that her grade was bad and mine was good. Yeah cause clearly the project that was bad should get a higher grade.

Another note a friend of mine said no one in anime club likes her cause she won't shut up about hetalia.

Date with a Hidden Weeb

I went on a  date with a hidden weeb. So I asked out a woman from my gym. She's caucasian and cute and fit and a professional. Professional is really all I'm looking for, the rest is just a bonus and race doesn't matter to me. So usually you date a white/black/latina or whitewashed api and get the "what are you?" question, right? Well, the hidden weeb got around to it very artfully. It was kind of worked into the "what do your parents do?" part of the date interrogation with a "where are your parents from" snuck in there with some cute tone. It was ok and much appreciated compared to asking my nationality. If you were wondering my passport says U.S.A. under nationality. Anyway, I explained that my father's from the Netherlands but emigrated from Indonesia as he's Javanese. Hidden Weeb was visibly disappointed. "Javanese? Wait don't you mean Japanese?" Nope. Javanese. Java. Its like a different island further south from where you were hoping. "Oh I thought becuase your name contained Nomo you were Japanese" - as if I intentially misled her masquerading as a Japanese person with a fake last name. She was not happy. I tried to keep the rest of the date fun for both of us but she just wasn't up to it. Thinking she had finally snagged her ultimate prize - a for real Japanese (/American?) guy! - but alas she wasn't a big enough person to hide her disappointment and resentment towards me. She got out of there as quickly as possible. She's annoying at the gym now, like I'm a second class citizen or something but whatever, I hold all the cards now possessing the secret of the hiddden weeb!

Anon Submission: What's the Probability You Sit Next to a Weeb?

So this story is ongoing because this semester of college hasn't ended yet, but I figured I'd just submit the greatest Weeb moments from the girl I sit next to in my Statistics class. For obvious reasons, she'll be N and I'll be D. 

Statistics is a class I'm pretty good at despite the fact I'm a creative writing and business administration major. It's easy to pick up and easy to learn. Unfortunately our teacher apparently doesn't feel the same way because she teaches with the same amount of effort a high school senior puts into their homework. Today, for example, she wrote three random equations on the board, threw a worksheet at us, and walked out of the room. Definitely not wasting that doctorate, eh Doc?

I said fuck it a few weeks back and just doodle now. To give you an image of me, I'm the president of club soccer and a frat guy. You'd probably think I was a douche by just looking at me: khakis, hat, and always wearing letters somewhere. I'm actually a huge closet nerd and my love for Dragon Ball and Gundam is aggressive at best. Most of the time, I'm doodling characters in Toriyamas style or drawing Gohan (my favorite character). 

I guess I never learn my lesson because this girl who sits next to me always leans over in my personal space and watches me draw. N is slightly heavy with multiple facial piercings like a bullring, lip rings, etc. She has multiple anime and gaming tattoos, my favorite being one of Princess Peach kissing Toad on her bicep. N will lean over me and breathe her smoky breath in my ear (even worse because I'm asthmatic and this exacerbates it) and tell me what I'm drawing isnt as good as it should be.

This bothers me because when I do something creative, I try to do it to the best of my ability. None of this may seem especially bad to you, but give me a couple sentences here. A few days ago, N rips the page out of my notebook and holds it up to the whole class and shouts, "D is drawing in class and he's really bad at it!" People at my college are really judgmental, so I was mortified and snatched my paper back.

"What the fuck, N," I hissed at her. "Your drawing was bad, baka! Everyone had to know." I wanted very badly to tell this girl off, but I was horrified about the information I would learn about her later. N is apparently 35 and has a kid. I couldn't even imagine what she'd been like in high school. Now, every time I enter the building my class is in, shes out there smoking and telling me my art sucks. I just have to grit my teeth and ignore it now.

Mall Weeb

 This is a very long story, apologies. TL;DR at bottom. Trigger: Sexual Assault, Violence.

I have a friend, lets call him DJ, who has a son who is about 7. This son, lets call him Kyle, loves going to the mall and looking at all of the anime action figures in a particular store. One day I was babysitting Kyle, and he asked if we could go to the mall. I said yes, we piled in my car and headed their. We walked around the mall for a little bit and had a super good time. Then Kyle asked to go to the anime store, I tell him that his dad is coming to the mall to pick him up so this will be our last stop. Kyle agrees, and I text DJ to meet us at said anime store. Kyle and I walk in and the kid goes crazy as usual. As I follow him around I see a few guys huddled around the manga section. They looked to be about 20, maybe a little older, and were quietly mumbling to each other. As I follow Kyle, I notice one of the boys is staring at me, and I start getting creeped out. This kid then starts slowly inching closer to me and Kyle. To give a little more background on me, I am a 5 ft, female who is a little on the chubby side, and looks significantly younger than my ID suggests. I am almost 25 and I often get mistaken for a 16 year old. I am also much stronger than your average woman due to years of heavy weight lifting. This does not physically show because “if you have fat, you must be weak”`. 

So this dude starts trying to hit on me in probably the most offensive way possible. He starts going on about how “He likes kids” and “single women with children are sexy as long as the baby daddy is not there”, or my favorite “Its ok to make mistakes and be a slut sometimes”. Then he starts saying that if I lost weight, I would look like some Anime character and he was totally into that character. He was also willing to “Over look my flaws if I got them fixed eventually”. I am not joking, it was so awkward, and he kept glancing at Kyle, who was completely oblivious to what was going on. I tell this guy that I am uncomfortable and he needs to go away (I was very polite) but after he blatantly ignored my request, I go into super Auntie mode and tell Kyle we have to go. I grab Kyle and start to head out of the store. I pull out my phone to call DJ and tell him to meet by the security office in the mall, hoping to scare this guy off. Before I can do that, this guy then runs up to me and asks for my number. I tell him no, and he grabs my phone, claiming “I should at least have his number”. We are at the entrance of the store when I see DJ about 30 feet away, coming up the escalator. The only think I could think about was this guy trying to hurt Kyle (He never really acknowledge him but super Auntie mode is a step down from Mommy mode). I tell Kyle to run to his father, and at this point Kyle understands what is going on and runs. This guy starts trying to fiddle with my phone, asking me to unlock it for him. I turn to him, and make an attempt to get my phone back. This guy is much taller than I and laughs as he just holds it over my head. He then starts calling me cute and telling me we will be a great couple. So I grab his arm, the one with my phone in his hand and easily force it down to my level, and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t lift his arm again. This guy was weak , and at this point he realized how strong I was. I grab my phone from his hand, and give him the iciest glare I can muster.  I tell him to leave me alone and begin to walk away. I go to DJ (who is a large, very muscular, very fit man), and walk away with him and Kyle. This is not the end of my story! I walk to the parking lot and DJ says he has to go but is afraid to leave me alone. I assure him I am ok, and he walks off, telling me to call him if anything happens. As I walk to my car, guess who shows up ranting about how I “embarrassed him in front of his friends”? Creepy dude then decided I had “No idea what was good for me” and I needed to be “shown”. He grabs me , (it looked like he was going to kiss me but I can’t be entirely sure) and before I can even think I have this guy on the ground with a swift punch to the gut. I scream bloody murder, and a few nearby security guards rush over. I tell them what happened and this kid gets handcuffed. He starts going off about how I am a lying whore and all that junk. They got the statement of the shop owner, who saw him earlier and they told me they would call me if anything happened. This was about a week or so ago and I haven’t heard anything yet but they are filing this as a sexual assault case. DJ felt super bad for leaving me alone (to which I assured him I handled it) and Kyle lent me his minecraft foam sword in case it happens again.

TL;DR: Creepy dude in anime store bothers me with my friends kid. Starts saying gross things to me as if I am property instead of a person. I tell him no, he declines, my fist and security guards tell him no, he complies. 

my weeby sister

My 18 year old  sister (C) is a weeaboo. Its so annoying and i just hate. When we moved into our new house she got mad i picked the one bed room that was bigger because she needed space to put all her anime stuff in there. I needed it because i got a desk. She loves Attack on Titan and some other anime i don't know. She got mad at the kitchen table once when my little brother was talking about how crew (rowing) practice was. She wants to talk about anime 24/7. 3 months ago i had gotten my driver's license and picked out a nice used Subaru. C found out and got upset as my parents bought her for her birthday a new Ford focus last year. She said it was unfair that and i quote, "A baka like her does not deserve a nihon car like that."

Saturday morning my little brother told me, "Hey your car is gone." I went outside and yup it was gone. I knew who took it so i told my parents and then called my sister. I tore her a new one and was just so pissed. She said she was not giving it back as she was an otaku and deserved to drive it.  Then hung up. My dad went driving around looking for her. But i had enough as i had caught her taking my keys many times before (still don't know how the hell she got them when i had them hidden). I called the cops reporting my car as stolen. They did find her at the local anime store. She's lucky she's only getting a misdemeanor and could only face probation. The shitty thing is that she still feels like she has a right to my car. I've now keep my car keys on me at all times! 

Coming out in the worst way possible

Me: M Friend: H Yaoi obsessed weeb: R

So a few years ago I was in this club at my university, I don’t want to specifically state what that club is, but we don’t really do much club activities so everyone just eventually ends up in several groups and chatting with each other.

Back then I was really close to this group of consisting of five guys in total, including myself, which we share the same interest in certain genres of mangas and video games, so we got along. There is one that I’m particularly close with, which was a guy I’ll refer as H. He used to live in Japan until he went overseas to study here, and at that time I was quite fluent in Japanese so we often mess around speaking in Japanese to confuse the others in the group for fun.

It was quite a good time until this girl, which I’ll refer as R showed up. I honestly didn’t know her too well, but let’s just say she was quite the obvious weeb aura around her, with her constantly blasting mainstream anime openings in the room, sometimes even openings to shounen ai and yaoi, and yes, without headphones like she wants the whole world to know what she was listening to.

I never minded her too much until this one day I had a conversation with H in Japanese again, which I mostly had forgotten about but I recall it was something funny and we were both laughing a lot. That’s when I realized that R was staring at us, like really concentrated, although this sounds too dramatic but I almost can see the sparkles coming out of her eyes.

She walked towards us and attempted to initiate a conversation, which was in horribly broken Japanese. Both me and H found it ridiculous since we knew that she had the capability to speak English, and so do we and there’s no point in speaking in Japanese, but we decided to shut up and continued the conversation.

Honestly I’m not even sure if that was a conversation as it was pretty one-sided, mostly about her spouting some nonsense anime pairings and doujins. Soon H excused himself to head home, leaving me and R alone.

Suddenly R was looking at me with this smile that was really creepy and asking, “Sooo you have a crush on H-kun don’t ‘cha? You’re soooo kawaiii-”. I was puzzled of course since I have no idea where that statement came from. I forgot to mention that I was bisexual, which I take a liking to guys more, but it was closeted and by far the only ones I had ever mentioned it too was H, and although he said he couldn’t understand it he still respects it.

I was really confused by I was more worried about her volume since there was still a crowd in the room at the time so I just told her to keep it down. Then she began grinning like crazy and saying, “Don’t worry M-kuun~ Your secret is safe with me hehe~ Ukes like you are too kawaiii when it comes to admitting these~ Hehe I understand~”

I thought that was enough to shut her up but damn, was I wrong. The next day a few girls came to join our group in the middle of a conversation about a recently popular movie, but then R appeared. I had a feeling that she wasn’t going to join that discussion, and as I guessed, she said in a dramatic anime voice, “EHH M-KUUUN~ I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE YAOI! WHY DID YOU TALK TO GIRLS WHEN YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIND A SEME- EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID YOU SUKI H-KUUNNN-”. That day, all five of us were present, and not more than that, her volume was so loud that the everyone IN THE ROOM could hear us. I was awkward of course, since I just basically came out to everyone in the worst way possible. Thankfully, H ended up standing up for me to stop her from more pestering and loud comments. She looked extremely dissatisfied, but she let us be anyway.

The aftermath of this was of course, getting a lot of judgement from others, especially all the weird glances. But thankfully the rest of the gang seemed quite opened about this matter, which I think is mostly because they felt more sorry for me instead, but except for some not-too-hurtful jokes about hoping I’m not aiming for their asses I guess it was pretty fine. The next semester I changed clubs along with the five and never heard from R again. But honestly, she probably have just found another yaoi pairing to obsess over.

How Social Media Saved Me From Becoming a Weeaboo

Ok welp, the title is pretty explanatory but here I go.

Okay so I got into anime around when I was in 7th grade (??) so it’s been a couple of years. Here came my friend, she was the one that got me hooked on Fairy Tail, the anime of my downfall.

I loved Fairy Tail so much, I binge-watched the anime daily, bought wall scrolls, scale figures, the works.

So ofc, over time I picked up some of the language and such, and with that “knowledge”, I counted tennis match scores in Japanese when I played tennis.

Over time, I became more obsessed with FT than my friend who introduced me to it. I remember that I fangirled over the characters and the ships all day and night, I obsessed over Gajeel Redfox as well (but now I obsess over his voice actor, Wacchan more now LMAO). I started on other animes like SAO and Blue Exorcist, but my true passion still lied w Fairy Tail. I began metaphorically pushing and shoving my friends to watch anime and such as I went. I got some people into some, but mostly they probably thought I was vv annoying. I legit tried to relate everything to anime, mostly FT lmao.

I was pretty open about my love for FT, and looking back, it was pretty gross.

So, finally,

this is where my rise from Weeb-Dom begins.

So eventually I joined Instagram as a Fairy Tail anime account. I explored and posted and such. I followed a lot of ft accounts ofc. They were pretty big accounts and they would sometimes complain in their caption about the weeaboos in their life and such.

Eventually, I discovered the meaning of “weeaboo” and how it’s definitely not a good thing. Thankfully I was smart enough to know that I was becoming one. Slowly but surely, I made little changes to my self to not become a “weeaboo”. I stopped pressuring people to watch anime 25/8, stop counting in Japanese while playing tennis, and so on. I also found Crunchyroll, where I discovered a lot of anime series like Say “I Love You” and Free Iwatobi Swim Club. I was expanding my horizons outside of Fairy Tail.

The social network had honestly saved me from becoming a close-minded weeaboo obsessed w Fairy Tail all day. I have met many of my close friends today because of anime, but it wouldn’t have been possible if I only knew the few I had known before and had the pushy attitude I had in the past. A lot of that old stuff that I have from my Fairy Tail phase I’ve taken down and have even sold a couple items to some other FT aficionados, but I still have quite a few left so the amount of merch I still have really comes to show how into that series I was.

I still enjoy Fairy Tail, but I dropped the anime ages ago, and I’m only keeping up w the manga occasionally. I’ve watched quite a few series right now, currently I’m trying to keep up w 15 of the seasonal updates at once, and it’s been quite an armful. I also began to learn about all the “behind the scenes” works w anime, especially w the seiyūs, hence my account lmao! I have also since deleted my Fairy Tail anime account for the obvious reason of lack of interest and effort to maintain the account.

So even though I made quite a fool of myself in the past, I think those experiences mixed with the will to change and a sense of humility really has increased my enjoyment as a supporter of anime industry.

In Class Yaoiz With A Koreaboo

You know those friends at school that you’re only friends with in one specific class? This is how I knew the koreaboo star of our story, who we will call Oppai.

It was my junior H/PE class, and I knew none of my classmates. And somehow, as a student of a gigantic high school with a large SES divide, it seemed like every single “my dad is a lawyer, I got a Mercedes for my birthday, I own ten pairs of Vineyard Vines khakis” snobby classmate of mine was in this gym class with me. And I wanted nothing to do with them. So who was I left with? You guessed it- Oppai.

Oppai seemed absolutely normal at first. She was in a lot of honors classes and choir, nothing weebish about her at all. Until one day I accidentally done hecked up.

The summer before junior year was when anime was poppin’ here on tumblr, and that’s how my friend texted me one day requesting I watch Attack on Titan, to which I obliged. I loved it. And I also struck a fancy with Free! and Madoka Magica. Now please don’t take this the wrong way, I am not a weeb at all. The only merch I have is an AoT hoodie that’s so thick I only wear it on cold winter days, I only discuss anime if someone else brings it up, and my only “flaw” for lack of a better term is the times when past sixteen year old me indulged in my guilty pleasure of risque Ereri and Reigisa fics late at night.

But I done slipped to Oppai one day in gym class. 

I believe it was our tennis unit and she and I were paired together half-assedly hitting a ball over a net for twenty minutes and I unconsciously hummed the AoT theme under my breath. But isn’t this a Koreaboo story? Bear with me.

“Hey, is that the theme to that super popular anime?” Oppai asked. 

“Oh, Attack on Titan?” I suggested. 

“Yeah, that’s it!” She said. “I have a  cousin in Japan.” “Oh, that’s cool.” I mumbled.

“Japan is neat, but I like Korea better.” Oppai indulged. “Have you ever listened to K-pop?”

And this is where it goes downhill, my friends.

After this slight slip of the tongue, Oppai kept pressuring me to listen to K-pop, watch Korean dramas, and basically just convert from having Japanese-related hobbies to Korean.

And once my class started our health unit, things went downhill even worse.

Because American health classes are notorious for being shitty, Oppai had a lot of spare time to try and convert me to Koreabooism. She would drag on and on about K-pop boy bands and show me pictures of her favorites and would gush about how hot Korean guys are and how she only wants to date Asian guys, specifically Koreans.

And this is our main event, ladies and gentlemen.

One day we had a substitute in health class, so our lecture was cancelled and we were given a free period. Oppai turned around swiftly in her seat and went: “Do you know what yaoi is?”

As aforementioned, I did indulge in a little bit of smutty anime fanfic back in the day, so I was familiar with terms like BL and yaoi. I awkwardly stammered a “yeah.”

Oppai then flips out her phone- in the middle of a crowded health classroom, need I remind you- pulls up YouTube, and proceeds to show me softcore, irl porn of two Korean guys.

Utterly flabbergasted, I keep trying to shut off her phone, but Oppai is just on a tangent about how homosexuality is considered normal in Japan and Korea and eventually I manage to shut her up. Needless to say, I tried avoiding her the rest of the year.

Weebs Go to Japan

Ok so this is a story that has haunted me for quite a while now and that I need to get off my chest. I guess I can put a trigger warning for bullying? I also won’t be using real names since this takes place in college. Also this might be a bit lengthy, apologies in advance!

Me - D

Weeb 1 - Digi

Weeb 2 - Pika

Weeb 3 - Chu

Weeb 4 - Mei

Ok so for my first year at college I got the opportunity to go to Japan for a couple weeks and study Japanese culture as well as learn about my major (won’t give it away for reasons). There were a lot of going and I was one of the few who was a 1st year student while the rest were pretty much in their 3rd or 4th year.

At this time I didn’t really make any friends at college who were going and so I was kind of on my own (which is fine, I’m a very independent person). 

So to fast forward a bit after a 14 hour flight and a ton of jet lag, the first couple of days were ok. Did some sight seeing and got to experience a lot of my heritage (yes I am part Japanese which made this all the more insulting later on). After a while I came to realize that some of the other students only seemed to have come to Japan just for anime. When on the bus, there were 3 girls (all dressed in anime) who were shouting about being Otakus. I kindly told them not to say that out loud as in Japan that does mean something entirely different (and definitely nothing positive either). One of the girls, Digi, told me that I was lying and it just means she is a die hard fan of anime. It came down to the point where Pika and Mei jumped in and made the subject about weaboos and how weebs are good people who just like anime a lot. I made the snarky remark on the kind of weebs that harass people and take it too far at cons… and what came out of their mouths shocked me.

“Their just being in character, if the character touches people thats totally fine. They might be fiction kin, are you saying you hate kin?!”

Keep in mind these people are in their twenties. They were literally defending sexual assault at cons. And they continued to call themselves Otaku out in public and even on the trains (you can’t speak on trains).

So fast forward a little later and I ended up with Digi most of the time as I had no one else and we had to have at least 2 to a group if we wondered. I kid you not, the whole trip Digi would correct me on every little thing I said (even accurate things) and would get antsy if we didn’t go to an anime store. 

I’m gonna fast forward to the real gritty stuff that made me lose my temper with both students and teachers. So by the middle of the trip I was getting bullied quite a lot, mostly by the weebs. We got lost at one point in Tokyo with a group of 5 and a teacher. Now the mall-building we were in was connected to the train station (we weren’t allowed to go far) and there were 2 sets of escalators inside. One let to the inner city and one to the train station. We accidentally took the wrong elevator but all we had to do was walk around the building to get to our exit, then a girl said sh knew where we were and got us lost for 2 hours. I kept trying to tell our group that we needed to go back and go through the other doors. Of course no one listened. And to make it worse Pika and Chu were screaming at me to shut up,telling me I didn’t know anything. This all happened again in Hiroshima too with a different group which made me pissed (i was the only one with a working gps while no one else had phone reception)

Later I went out to eat at a small “fast food” place and saw that they were there too. As I was eating the girl next to me was having trouble asking for more water to the waiter so I held up a water bottle that I had (which had the word in Japanese on it to help communicate) and pointed to the girl as politely as i could which the waiter understood. The Pika out of no where literally shouts in front of classmates and locals accusing me of being racist! I was literally petrified that she would literally yell (extremely disrespectful in japan). I tried to explain but she would hear non of it and continued to rant that I was racist to my own race. I was on the verge of tears and a anxiety attack so I paid and left, barely finishing my food.

Worst of all me and Digi went to the anime capital of Japan, Akihabara. It wasn’t all bad but until my leg gave out (i have a severely bad knee) and Japan doesn’t really have public benches in the city. Digi ran off and left me at an arcade by myself while she went back to an anime store and said she would be back in an hour. I waited… and waited… and finally I tried to call her only to come to find that her phone was dead. So I was left alone in severe pain with no where to sit for an hour and a half, on the edge of vomiting from pain. Thankfully a passing teacher and his group found me and got me back to our hotel. When I saw Digi she has a shit ton of anime stuff and was with another group, you bet I was pissed.

All in all the trip was an up and down experience. I had one good teacher who really looked out for me and even bought me lunch when I was crying at one point (that one is for another time), she was amazing! And so I learned my lesson that if I want to visit another country to explore my heritage and avoid week drama, I’ll just go on my own.

Neko needs to leave me alone.

Okay, so I may have submitted a story here a while ago about a girl named Neko and it wasn’t published. Well I am rewriting it and hoping it stays on track. (All names are changed.)

Well, Neko was this girl who was a furry and a complete and total Weeaboo. She wasn’t too annoying (besides the lack of personal space and loud nyas and Kawaiis) and I never really had a problem with her until these 3 instances, all of which in chronological order.

At one point I dated my friend, Kitty. She was really accepting of me being a Transgender man and we both were really close (not related but we are still friends, but dating her makes me uncomfortable)… well one day I was holding her hand and we were walking to the cafeteria when I heard a squee. Neko ran over and told us we were her otp and she shipped us. I kinda laughed it off, even though I found it creepy, and smooched Kitty on the cheek just to see how Neko would react… well, Neko knows I am a Trans man. Everyone in my grade knows. So hearing, “Kawaii Yuri” was really off putting for me. Especially since Neko went to the gay club (it’s called Diversity alliance but it was the gay club tbh) with me and I am very open about being Trans.

This next event involves a lot of detail skipping but to put it simply, I broke up with my abuser and Neko was actually nice enough to ask for my side since she heard my abuser’s side. I told her and i thought that she might believe me and hopefully take my side and- nope. She did worse than take my abuser’s side, she tried playing neutral. At this time I was in a black and white/red vs blue mindset. You were either with me, against me, or didn’t know the situation. This chick tried claiming purple, which didn’t exist. She went from slightly annoying, to me nearly hating her so quickly because she wanted to be friends with both of us. She even invited all my friends to her birthday party and she didn’t invite me because she was inviting my abuser. She invited kitty, my abuser’s ex girlfriend… but not me. It’s childish I know, but she invited everyone I knew. I had no clue what was going in because she thought it would be a great idea to invite all my friends who barely know her/hate my abuser. Genius.

I was on edge with her. I couldn’t stand her animu talk. I couldn’t stand seeing her hot topic™ black Butler side bag. I couldn’t stand seeing her dollar store cat ears. I couldn’t stand her. She took the side of my abuser around the time, I wasn’t going to tolerate her… and yet she decided to still act like we were chummy mc pals.

Yup. She made me so upset and she decided to stay friends with someone that hurt me… but she still tried to be chums with me.

Yeah. No.

Last year she wouldn’t stop sitting at our lunch tables and trying to be friendly with me. At the end of freshman year she was still super touchy to me and she still tried to text me. She still said hi and she still approached me even after I made it obvious that I don’t like her (I have the natural death glare, so all I did to drop the hints was look at her emotionless and it looked like I was ready to kill.) And yet she didn’t back off until after winter break.

She started sitting with the other anime fans. One of the kids she sat with is a beautiful human being who I knew in German class, the other believed fat shaming wasn’t real (and argued my naturally big boned friend about it) and has a fucking sword art online bag.

Hopefully this year she leaves me 1000% alone. School is going to start in a few days, so I can only hope she knows to stay away from me.

I don’t know how well this fits, but when I was younger I liked quite a few anime but didn’t really know that it was it’s own separate “thing” in the world of animation. I was a big fan of the different teaching muyos that came on toonami, but I couldn’t really follow gundam wing, it was a little political for an 11 year old. Fast forward to eighth grade and I met this girl, we’ll just call her Naomi, because I don’t think she’ll ever read this. She was in my core class. At my school all of our math, science, English, social studies happened in the same classroom with the same students, and the teachers would rotated into the classrooms to teach us those subjects. That’s what a core class was. And our electives were saved for the after lunch portion of the day and we were split up into classes with students from other core classes.

All of my friends from the previous 2 years were in different core classes so I didn’t really have anyone to talk to for half the day. A few weeks pass and I made one or two friends in class, but none I feel like having over to my house or anything. But one day I see Naomi reading a graphic novel with an art style similar to what I had been seeing on toonami. So I ask her what she’s reading and she explains to me what Manga was and we bond over our mutual love for outlaw star. (the Manga was get backers btw and she let’s me borrow the first few volumes a few days later)

I confide that I miss most of the episodes because hockey practice runs until six and my mom pretty much always finds away to mess up my recording process. So she volunteers to record it for me and bring me the tapes the next day. (yes this was still pretty common, keep in mind at the time most families still had one computer per house and dialup internet) to me, I thought this was a completely platonic gesture. But as a thank you around the time outlaw star ended it’s run on toonami I bought her like a big plushie digivice from the show Digimon.

I had an on/off girlfriend at the time, we’ll call her Sammy. She caught wind of it and made a big scene in the cafeteria and “dumped” me. I was sitting at a table with Naomi and her friend Ryan at the time. After Sammy left, I joked that I thought I dumped her last Friday. But it was a joke, we broke up seriously all the time, it was like a passing statement. Buuuut, I had given that stupid plushie to Naomi on that previous Friday, that exact Friday I had just joked about breaking up with Sammy on. Naomi read into it. Her friend Ryan who everyone could tell had a thing for Naomi read into it.

Naomi didn’t live that far from me, we both lived on post, and our housing areas were just across the street from each other. So she’d come to my house to play playstation and I’d go to hers to watch anime. Ryan’s housing area was across post, and he’d ride his bike about 45 min one way just to hang out with Naomi. Ryan was also the weeb in this story.

Ryan would always talk about going super saiyan on people and was obsessed with learning the “hiten mitsarugi” style from his sensei and carried a damn bamboo sword on his back that he bought at freaking CVS.

One day Naomi came over during winter break and we were playing playstation in the garage. It was cold so we were each under the same huge comforter, but its not like we were spooning or anything. Ryan calls and my mom answers the phone in the kitchen and tells him that Naomi and I are playing in the garage and that he could come over. I was not aware of this.

He comes into the garage and sees Naomi and I under the blanket and flips shit. Complaining that she always turns him down and that I don’t even like her back so why does she even waste her time with me. I hadn’t realized yet that she liked me like that, so I was pretty confused. Ryan was making a huge scene and Naomi was just screaming at him to shut up so my dad came into the garage and kicked us all out. (told us to go “fucking play outside”) Ryan was embarrassed and had tears on his face so he got on his bike and left. Naomi looked pretty sad and flustered as well so I asked if she was okay and she said she was. We talked in my front yard for a long time. She admitted that she thought I liked her because of the plushie/dumping Sammy on the same day. And that she was waiting for me to make a move for months and that she liked me.

I explained that I didn’t dislike her, but when I gave her the plushie it really was just a way to say thanks for recording outlaw star for me. And that what I had said about Sammy was just a joke because we break up all the time. And that me and Sammy were actually on again. Naomi said she was cool and everything but she was still like half crying when she left. It was probably about six or seven at night when she walked home.

The next day Ryan came over to my house alone with his freaking bamboo sword. Screaming about how I broke Naomi’s heart and that he was going to restore her honor by defeating me with the hiten mitsarugi style. I was just about fed up with this dude so I grabbed a hockey stick and told my dad I was going to go beat his ass. My sat us both down and explained to us that the mp’s were going to arrest us for disorderly conduct and charge us both with assault regardless of who one. He then leaves us and says “if I were you I’d take it to the woods”

So we walk into the woods from my backyard and pick a nice clearing to settle our disagreement. Looking back, I think my behavior was just as cringe worthy as Ryan’s. The fight was every bit as epic as you could imagine. A bunch “oh that was my face you dick” and “dude quit fucking hitting my hands”. Both of our eyes were practically swollen shut from beating each other in the face with blunt objects. And so we both gave up. And walked back to my house. Ryan ate dinner with my family that night and my parents told us we were stupid.

Naomi and I never ended up giving it a shot. Her and Ryan started going out before winter break was over and kinda grew apart. From me. Although in highschool we’d still sit at the same lunch table every now and then and talk about anime. Ryan became a bigger weeaboo and starting peppering his speech with Japanese, and lying about more martial arts crap. But Naomi didn’t seem to mind it so I didn’t see a reason to mock him for it.

Tl;dr weeaboo thinks I like a girl he likes and we have a sword fight in the woods.

(Volume warning, GHOST gets kind of loud for a bit after reading the first and second comments. If you want to skip that part, go to 0:30.)

GHOST, a somewhat popular producer of English Vocaloid music, recently uploaded a reading/parody of various cringey Youtube and social media comments from Vocaloid weebs (and one who is not a weeb). Its surprising (and a little disturbing), but all of the comments she reads are real.

There's a lot more emotion in anime than cartoons.

As always, real names have been omitted:

S = my Friend

Orange Creep = A creep in an orange shirt

A few days ago, my friend S and I caught up for a coffee date. Afterwards, we decided to do some browsing/Christmas shopping at the mall. We went to JB HI-FI (retailer for DVDs/Bluray/CDs/Games/electronics etc), and aimlessly wandered down the aisles, keeping an eye out for presents for our boyfriends (or ourselves, because you got to treat yourself yo).

I decided I wanted to look at the anime section, and see how much Sailor Moon Crystal was on Bluray. Between us, S and I both love Sailor Moon, Digimon and Studio Ghibli films – so, we appreciate anime but aren’t hardcore fans.

Out of nowhere, some relatively normal looking guy (in a bright orange shirt) comes up between us and says “There’s a lot more emotion in anime than regular cartoons.” S and I awkwardly agreed – I don’t know how she was feeling, but I straight up had Weeaboo alarm bells ringing. We were polite to Orange Creep, but I then tried to make a point of showing S the price differences in Sailor Moon, so he would get the hint that we weren’t interested in having a conversation.

As soon as there is a pause in our conversation, Orange Creep says “And it’s not just for kids – some animes are really violent.”

My boyfriend and I recently watched Elfen Lied and Attack on Titan, and I think S has seen some other ones that aren’t just childhood nostalgia. Point is, we’re both well aware the sort of mature content is in anime, but we really weren’t looking to engage with Orange Creep. The whole situation just had one of those socially awkward vibes.

But it get’s better. Orange Creep, probably under the assumption he was impressing us with his knowledge, points out one of the DVDs on the shelf: “Take Beserk for example. The main character is born from the corpse of his dead mother who is hanging from a tree… and that doesn’t just happen!” At that point, I had to hide my face behind the Sailor Moon case, trying not to laugh out loud. Meanwhile, poor S, who is a precious cinnamon roll, was stuck talking to him. She awkwardly replies “Oh… that’s something.”

Orange Creep follows up with, “And in [whatever TF he said], the main character rapes his best friend’s girlfriend in a pool of his own blood!”

I couldn’t contain my laughter at that point, and said I was going to look at fridges. S quickly followed me, and we stayed there until we were sure Orange Creep had left the store.

Ereri fan from Hell

Me: Mono

Friend #1: Coco

Friend #2: Slasher

Weeb: Valencia

(Keep in mind that this all happened back in 2014, so my memory of this whole thing is kinda hazy. Also, I want to remain anonymous for safety reasons.)

It all started in middle school. Me, Coco and Slasher were all 12. I was just plain white and kind of a weeb, Coco was born in Japan; was Japanese; but was raised in Canada since he was 4, and had impressive English skills for his age, but still had a thick accent, and Slasher was Native and had just moved from the mainland last year. One day, during lunch, Slasher introduced us to Valencia, a friend of his cousin who went to our school. She was also Native, with black hair with a single red streak in it, and that day, she wore a Panic! at the Disco t-shirt, a Scouting Legion jacket, and a tutu. The both of us were obsessed with Attack on Titan at the time, so we instantly welcomed her with open arms.

We talked, ate our lunch, and all-around had a good time. Weeks had passed, and I got a call from Valencia asking if she could come to my house. I asked my parents about this, and they approved. Within the hour, she arrived. We exchanged each-others Deviantart accounts, Tumblrs, and whatever else. I decided to show her my Attack on Titan drawings. I was already beyond corrupted thanks to my parents not giving me much supervision and my secretiveness, so by natural instinct I decided against showing her some of my more risque drawings. She asked me (word by word, here) “Mono, what are your SNK OTPs?”

I responded with “JeanMarco, Eremin, Eruri, Yumikuri, Arushi; thats my OC x Armin;, and most of all–” And then she interrupted, saying

“You have an OC? Can I show you mine?”

“Sure!”

She took her phone and then showed her to me. Let’s just say she was BAD. Light blue emo hair, purple eyes, flashy clothes, and it was on a base, too, and worst of all, she was fourteen-fifteen and shipped with Levi.

Being the smart lil’ cookie I was, I pointed out all the things wrong with her character. Surprisingly, she took the advice, and tomorrow at school, she showed me her redesigned OC. This time, she looked much better. Shorter hair which was now brown, green eyes, her pink v-neck replaced with a black blouse, and her name was changed to Ayami Storm to Ariana Nichol, and she was now listed as single. But the only drastic downside was that it was made with that Rinmaru Games AOT OC maker everyone used. I complimented her, and I remembered later on in the day that I forgot to remind her that she interrupted me when I listed off my OTPs. She nodded and allowed me to continue, and I said what I said yesterday…

But that’s when things started going downhill FAST.

I was obsessed with, no LIVED AND BREATHED Eremika. I told her I liked it, and she scoffed, saying “Ew. Eremika is incest. Grody.”. I tried to retaliate by reassuring her it wasn’t, but Slasher stopped me before I could say anything. Fortunately, she just shook it off, but I could tell she probably hated that ship (which was okay i wasnt like other girls), but then she asked the question whose answer would ruin our friendship forever.

“What about Ereri? I LOOOOOVE Ereri!”

“I don’t like it. I think it’s pedophilia.”

She went absolutely BALLISTIC. “IT IS SO NOT PEDOPHILIA DESU! ITS TRUE LOVE AND ITS TOTALLY CANON!!!”

Coco ran away before things got serious, but Slasher defended me by saying “No. She’s right. Sure, Levi did beat Eren up, but that was to save his life, not because he loved him. And plus, Eren is still considered a minor, even here, and Levi is in his thirties.” or something along the lines of that.

Valencia continued shouting at us, saying things like “WELL, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT BACK THEN” and “ERERI IS THE BEST SHIP IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE! KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!” and stuff like “LEVI IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER AND HES SOOOOO HOT!”

Slasher continued to shoot down her arguments until Valencia reached her boiling point. She grabbed me by my My Chemical Romance t-shirt and pushed me, resulting in me falling to the ground, and then she took out a rock which she had in her backpack for some reason and hit Slasher repeatedly in the face with it. The principal was notified of the ordeal and he called the police, who arrived just a minute or so later and grabbed Valencia, but she, no shit, screamed “MINI-TITANS!” before she tried to kick one of the cops in the shin, but was stopped. She wasn’t charged or arrested (she was real close to it, though), but she was suspended from school. I was okay, albeit with a scraped knee, but Slasher had to get stitches at the hospital, and atop of that, had a broken nose.

I never spoke to her again, and from that day forward, I vowed to stay away from all Ereri shippers as much as possible.

Slasher recently told me that he could have sworn he saw her again at a Tim Horton’s before a gaming convention he went to.

"C-Kohai is a okama! That's so smexy!"

Me - C

My gal pal/gf - S

Weeb - R

A year or two ago I went to the Boy’s and Girl’s club for the summer since both my parents work and there was no one to watch me. I didn’t really like it there, there wasn’t a whole lot to do. We weren’t allowed to watch youtube videos or be on social media sites when we used the computers, I was definitely not interested in playing any sports in the gym, and the only other things to do were Just Dance and crafts. Since I’m transgender, I got picked on a lot too while I was there. Luckily I met S and she would stand up for me. We bonded because we’d just end up sitting on a bench and reading manga together all day. For a while things were pretty good, S and I hung out and had a nice time. And then R showed up.

R had weeb written all over her from the moment she arrived. She had a Hatsune Miku satchel bag that was just destroyed with pins, and she was almost constantly blaring anime opening songs (with black butler ear buds of course). She would bring her tablet and trace over anime bases. She tried really hard to sound “kawaii” but it was just grating and high pitched. Sometimes she’d wear a cat ear headband or a hideously put together cosplay. She’d log in to youtube on the computers even though we weren’t allowed to and she’d just watch MMD animations until she got caught. Eventually she was banned from using the computers and she had nothing else to do. This was around the time she noticed S and I reading manga.

R initiated things by asking us what we were reading. She started sitting with us at our little bench and in the cafeteria when we ate lunch. Neither of us had the heart to tell her to fuck off. Welt felt bad since both of us had been lonely and bored at the Boy’s and Girl’s club too, so we put up with her. For a while she just seemed like a regular obnoxious weeb. She was a little bit older than S and I so she called us “S-kohai and C-kohai”. She always had pocky or shrimp chips or seaweed in her lunch, and she would say “itadakimasu” before eating. S and I lived with it for a while, until R revealed just how incredibly racist she could really be. 

One day R asks me “Hey C-kohai, you pronounce Japanese words really well, are you Japanese?”

I am Japanese on my dad’s side, but I’ve always been more fascinated by my mom’s side of the family. So I admit that I have a little Japanese in me and she flips out. She said she could tell I was Japanese because I’m “just so kawaii” and “smarter than all the baka gaijins”. She insists that she and S come to my house for a sleepover and as much as I didn’t want to, I agreed. S didn’t seem too thrilled either. 

My parents are super accepting of the fact that I’m trans, even though sometimes they have a hard time understanding, and they typically let my friends sleep over regardless of their gender. So R and S arrive at my house for the sleepover, and R is decked out in a kigurumi with rikkamaru slippers. R spouts some embarrassingly broken Japanese at my dad and waltzes in. Things started out pretty chill, we all watched some movies S brought, but then R started complaining that she wanted to watch something Japanese. So we watched Angel Beats! R interrupts again to ask me if I have a kotatsu. I tell her we don’t but if she’s cold we do have blankets. She seemed pissed. After a while, we got tired and migrated to my room for the night. S changes in my room and I change in my bathroom. R is already in her pajamas so she just hangs out.

That is until she barges in on me while I’m changing. Keep in mind, I haven’t physically transitioned just yet. She gasps really loudly and yells “C-kohai is a okama! That’s so smexy! I love yaoi!” and rushes back out to tell S. 

I spend the rest of the night in the bathroom. S joined me at some point during the night.

The next morning R keeps calling me “Kuranosuke” like from Jellyfish Princess and insisting that I be her “kareshi”. I make her a bowl of fruity pebbles to try and shut her up but it doesn’t do much. I put up with her some more until her parents pick her up and I fall apart on S. 

R wouldn’t stop bothering me at the Boy’s and Girl’s club after that, she kept demanding that I date her or kiss a boy or weird stuff like that. Eventually S became my pretend girlfriend to make R stop pestering me, and then S became my actual girlfriend. R would say stuff “kissing girls isn’t very yaoi of you, C-kohai” but at that point we hardly spoke to R and summer was close to over. I don’t know if R has changed because I haven’t heard from her in years but I don’t think I really want to find out. 

Oh, what a hellish day.

My boyfriend: Max

Me: P My friend: X Weeaboo from Hell: Toad

This weeb story happened at an anime con that myself, X, and Max were attending. Max isn’t really a big anime enthusiast and leans more towards comics and video games so he dressed up as Max from Mad Max: Fury Road. Max looks eerily similar to Tom Hardy so his coworkers including myself encouraged him to dress up as the protagonist of Fury Road. I tried to complete my Furiosa cosplay in time but due to my busy school and work schedule, I had to settle for an unfinished product. X decided to cosplay from League of Legends since she wasn’t a fan of the movie and the three of us headed for the con. We had no idea just how nightmarish the day would be.

As we got to the con, we were immediately greeted by some avid photographers who began asking Max for some pics to which he obliged but after a few minutes kindly turned them down as he really needed to use the restroom. I told him we would wait for him outside and while he used the restroom we would go pick up the badges. After waiting for our badges a little bit longer due to some minor error the staff had on their computers, we headed for the main lobby bathrooms. Max was waiting for us there and we went to go greet him and give him his stuff. Out of nowhere, we were severely startled by this extremely loud screeching voice that seemed to come from all directions. Right afterwards we heard, “MAAAAD MAAAAAAAAX SAAAAMAAAAAA MY HEROOOOOOO DESUUUU NEEEEEEE!!!!” This very toad looking girl came running out of nowhere and immediately latched onto Max like a leech. Max is not a very warm and friendly person and will only hug people close to him that he trusts, so he was extremely put off by this. He immediately began pushing her away to which she only held on tighter. He eventually pried her off and she began shouting loudly her excitement for him. “Mad Max SAAAAMAAAAAA your so brave!!! That Immorten Joe Baka was such a rapist!! Only you should have all the kawaii girls!” Toad then turned to us and looked me up and down like if I was poop on the sidewalk. “Max-Deanna, who is SHE?” I burst out laughing at her ridiculousness and Max walked over to me and stood behind me while gripping my arms, “This is my girlfriend. She is cosplaying Furiosa with me.”

This seemed to really piss off Toad and she glared at me and stomped up into my face and growled, “She is not Furiosa!! She doesn’t look Tsundere and she doesn’t have a robot arm!!” X scoffed loudly and motioned for us to leave. I walked away from Toad and Max glared at her before walking away. Luckily she didn’t follow us. But that would not be the last of her. A few hours later after wandering the floor and getting more photos taken, we stepped out of the con to get some snacks and go sit somewhere. We found a shady spot and sat down to eat until we saw Toad walking by. She saw us and immediately ran over to Max and glomped him. Her very heavy set body knocked him back into the bushes and caused him to hit his shoulder against the trunk of a tree. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried rubbing her face against his whole shouting, “Max daaaaannaa I missed you!!!! Aishiteru husband desuuuu!” I had enough of it and stood up, grabbing Toad by her hair and yanked her off of him to which she fell on her butt on the sidewalk. X and I helped Max up, who was extremely pissed off. Before me or X could say anything, Max stood up and stood over her, red as a beet from anger. “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID BITCH????” He shouted at her pretty loud and several con goers stopped to stare at what was happening. She started crying which did not make Max any nicer to her.

“I only want Max-danna to love me!!! I’m Furiosa!!! You are supposed to be my husbando you total Baka!!!” She got up and turned to glare at me and screamed into my face, “I HATE YOU, YOU TEME WHORE!!” She picked up some dirt and threw it at me before storming off. I wanted to go after her so badly but X held me back and told me that it wouldn’t be worth it. We tried to enjoy the rest of our day which seemingly worked until the evening. We heard there was going to be an anime dance club scene at the con so we decided to go for the heck of it. The 3 of us started dancing like goofballs and what not. Max then said he would go bring us some drinks. X and I kept dancing until we noticed that 10 minutes had gone by and Max had not returned. X suggested that he had also gone to the bathroom so I took out my phone to text him. He didn’t respond and I kept feeling a strange sensation that something was wrong. X and I ran out of the dance room and went down the corridor to where the bathrooms were. As we turned the corner, we saw Max and Toad. Toad has latched onto Max and was trying to kiss him forcefully. X and I immediately pulled her off of him. Toad had thrown something at him that caused him to have eye irritation because the first thing he did was try to rub at his eyes. I took him to the water fountain and began rinsing his eyes out quickly. X began shouting at Toad, screaming every insult at her and threatened to call con security and police. Max’s eyes were clean and I yelled at X to go get security. Toad stood there angrily and shouted at Max. “How dare you!!!! How could you do this to me??? She is too ugly and too unworthy of Mad Max sama!!! I can be less fatter than her if I want to!!!” Max put a arm over me and pushed me behind him. “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU PYSCHOPATH!! YOU NEED HELP!!” Toad started crying again and we noticed a CVS bag tucked in her jacket pocket that was wrapped around her waist. “I went to go get some supplies so I can get kawaii for Max sama!!” She then blatantly told us that she had bought some laxatives so that she could get skinny really fast. We heard a weird sound and then Toad started crying. She had completely soiled herself in front of us. “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BAKA!!!! NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME CLEAN PANTSU!!” She reached forward and suddenly grabbed at Max’s pants and tried to unzip his pants and pull them down along with his boxers.

I started screaming to try and get attention from anyone in the area for help and Max and I shoved her away. She glared at me and made this weird screaming noise and slapped me in the face hard. “YOU CAN’T BE WITH MAD MAX YOU WHORE!!!” She grabbed my arm tightly with her nails and tried to throw me into the wall of the corridor. Max then finally lost it, and punched her square in the face. She fell on her back and started sobbing as X came rushing back with con security. It turned out to be a very long night for us. Con security called police and Max was temporarily put into handcuffs. X and I explained the situation entirely to police and staff. X comforted me and I started crying in relief when we heard that several cosplayers and attendees had witnessed the day’s events. Several witnesses reported that they had seen Toad stalking us throughout the day and others saw the events that unfolded, including Toad when she had thrown something into Max’s eyes and attempted sexual assault on him including attacking me. No charges were pressed against Max and Toad was placed into handcuffs and taken away by police. The 3 of us returned to our hotel and have not returned to that con since. Max still cosplays but he threw out his Mad Max cosplay as we left the hotel the next day. It’s taken a lot of work to help him feel safe at cons again and I always make sure to stay with him no matter what. He’s a really strong and tall guy but he never thought that the incident with Toad could ever happen to him. I don’t know what happened with Toad after her being arrested but Max refuses to ever think about that con again.