afternoon nap

Don't mind me, just going to cry after reading chapter 352

Not me, trying to rework the plot of a fic because Team 1 and Dodam derailed it.

I was looking at fanfics (now that I've caught up on my reread and am desperate for more content) and saw some of the White Star/Cale or White Star redemption tags and...

Am I the only one who thinks his curse makes these impossible?

I mean, I do love a good redemption arc. And I've enjoyed fics featuring villains as love interests...

But I can't help thinking that, with that curse, as soon as the White Star genuinely starts to care - you're dead.

It's not Cale, but it is.

Or rather, we all know he has a terrible childhood. And we've all seen him brush off or ignore praise. He is very uncomfortable with people saying good things about him.

And easily believes others find him annoying (remembering when he randomly apologized to Choi Han - who was carrying him - because he could tell Choi Han was upset about something, and instead of thinking 'maybe he's worried about me because I'm bleeding all over him? ' went 'he must be upset with me for getting blood all over his clothes')

''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

was bored, so here, have the mistakes of my twelve year old self

Fic Idea:

Choi Han goes to a tboah dimension. So Cale doesn't have to.

He's now trying to recreate Cale's success... With a younger Choi Han by his side.

Basically the whole 'Destroying the Alchemist Bell Tower' arc

Mary, being strong. Raon and Cale being proud of Mary. And this:

Since I've talked about almost all the other important parts during my reread, I didn't want to forget the sealed god's test.

It's just... So good I'm not even sure where to start. Like, this is a moment where Cale really shines.

Cale. Rok Soo, which we're told means 'to always grow green, even in winter'.

And we see that in this test.

The sealed god throws him into one of the worst moments of his life, expressly to make him despair.

Instead, Cale takes that moment and uses it to rewrite the past, and erase all his regrets.

This is where we really get to see what post-apocalyptic Korea was like. And over and over again we learn how badly things went then, even as Cale makes sure it doesn't happen like that again.

We also see some of his years of experience, and maturity. Especially with how he handles Park Jin Tae, who was a bully and a tyrant - and also died in Cale's first life, fighting to save everyone in the shelter.

You can see what we've seen all along. Cale doesn't judge leaders by the petty stuff. He judges them on how well they take care of their people.

This is also where Cale, Choi Han, and Alberu really become an amazing trio.

Choi Han, who bargains a large chunk of his life away (just the time he'd be alone, as he ties the length of his life to Raons) in order to join Cale in his test.

And Alberu, who the Sun God helps possess a monster called the Dark Tiger when his real body is sleeping.

Those three are so tight knit now, it's beautiful. Real ride or die friends.

Especially when you remember where they all started.

It's also, as always, a time where you have to pay attention to the subtleties. This is Cale's past, and he's focused on making sure everyone survives... But Choi Han and especially Alberu can see the desperation, the struggle, and the near starvation of all the survivors. Alberu has a couple of moments when he's out of the test and giving updates to their friends, and you see him struggling. Because Cale asked him not to overly stress them (the kids especially) and basically say it's fine... And Alberu's like 'how can I tell them that?!?'

And then, naturally, there's Choi Jung Soo and Lee Soo Hyuk.

Younger versions, and not the ones Cale knew. But still, we get to learn more about his earlier found family.

We also see things going on back at home. Since his physical body is still there, his friends have to rescue him.

And we see how they're able to perform, even without Cale to call the shots.

We especially see how well Raon has grown, as he makes important decisions on how to find the monster statues.

Even more importantly, we have this at the end.

– Do you really think that this moment is the end of despair? Cale looked down at the rose gold lights burning in his hands. He opened his mouth to speak. ‘Is this moment the end of despair? No. Absolutely not.’ “This is just the beginning of the despair in this world.” It was just the beginning. Despair would reveal itself in many different forms in this world from now on. “But people have hope now.” After about a year since the world had turned into a mess… The people who had always lost, struggled, and barely managed to survive will be victorious for the first time. They would destroy this despair known as an unranked monster. The sealed god who had been silent for a moment asked as if he was sneering at Cale. – Do you have hope as well? It seemed to be implying that Cale was someone who could not have hope. That was how it sounded to Cale. Cale slowly shook his head. “No.” He did not have hope. However… “I have certainty.” Cale needed something more certain than hope. Finally, he had gotten it. “This place will draw a different future than my past. I’m certain of it.” He was certain that more people would survive than in his past. He was certain that they would have better lives. That was not speculation. Although it was a future that was yet to come, Cale believed it to be the truth. In fact, Cale wanted to be the one to finish the first step toward that certainty. The burning rose gold thunderbolts moved away from Cale’s hands. He started to speak again. “This is the first time I’m saying this to a god.” Toward the silent sealed god… To the god who had tried to give him despair… Cale said the following. “Thanks.” He really meant it. “My memories didn’t end in despair thanks to you.”

It's not that he defeated despair. That despair will no longer exist.

But there's hope, and he is certain that the future will be better.

And even more so - he is grateful that he had this chance to change his memories.

He took this thing that was supposed to break him, and used it to fix himself instead.

How to explain Kim Rok Soo:

Just assume that KRS is Batman, except he actually has some powers, he's delusional about not being rich, has 10 times more tragic backstory, actually murders his bad guys and doesn't get his military-proficient-butler or evil clown nemesis until he transmigrates 😂

Damn, there's so much potential for Team 1 stories.

I was talking about the side story with og! Cale right after he transmigrated and became Kim Rok Soo, and this is what his team was wondering when Kim Rok Soo didn't come to work on time

“Do you think the team leader-nim fainted after pushing himself too much these days?” “Agent Jung, have you ever seen the team leader-nim faint? He’s the type of person who would call first even if he was going to faint. This… Something must have happened.” “…Do you think one of the illegal guilds attacked the team leader-nim’s house?” Agent Jung So Hoon’s voice was slightly shaking from anxiety. “Or maybe an assassin dispatched from overseas abducted the team leader-nim. Ah, I have a bad feeling about this. Doesn’t the team leader-nim live in the outskirts of the city? I’m sure the security there isn’t good either. Should I contact the Team 2 leader?” “Calm down. We will decide after going to the team leader-nim’s house.”

Assassins abducting him is a possibility!?!

Then again, this is the guy who predicted an unranked monster and studied everything about monsters he could. And has Record.

He's probably a strategic asset or something.

And if they want to kidnap him, they probably tried honeypots first.

They probably have a lot of crazy stories to tell.

Anyone know how to find good Korean names for Team 1 characters in TCF?

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (^ ہ ^)/

This is actually my first ask since I opened the ask box... so I feel like I really ought to answer.

5 things that make me happy, in no particular order

1) My pets (2 cats and a dog).

2) When I figure out a tricky problem (like figuring out a tricky bit of code, but I'm more often going through logs and other things to try and figure out why something didn't work as expected than actually coding.)

3) Trash of the Count's Family (c'mon, it's the purpose of this blog! I have been obsessed with this waaaayyy too much, and just wish we had more high quality content. And/or that I knew Korean)

4) Good stories in general

5) Pokemon Go

👏 In 👏 This 👏 House 👏

👏 We love and support Violan Henituse 👏

This is definitely spoilers for tcf part 1, just saying.

I keep thinking about how Cale handled the calebab situation.

In particular his friends suspected something was up, and asked him about it. He told them most of it, but chose not to mention that he needed to stab himself in the heart in order to defeat the White Star.

Of course the World Tree told him that he wouldn't die, and that it would even be beneficial for him. But still. Stabbing. In the heart.

And Cale's thought process when he decided to hide that was interesting.

Because he knew, if he told them, that one of two things would happen. They would either insist on finding another way (and who knows how hard it would be to defeat the White Star while they looked for an alternative?) or they would insist on being there while he did it.

And he didn't want them to see such a gruesome sight.

I... Can kind of see his reasoning. And yet in deciding to keep that knowledge, to not even let them have the choice, it shows... Something.

A lack of trust? A level of consideration that fails to see why his friends and allies would rather see such a gruesome sight, than discover he did something like that without even telling them?

If you finished part 1 then you know that his plan to take care of things on his own failed. And failed miserably. Rather than finding a place where he could stab himself and then the White Star in private, it was all put on display by the temple... And even caught on video by Clopeh. And poor Choi Han made it out just in time to see it too.

But if he had succeeded at keeping it secret, would that really have been okay?

Yes, he was fine. Even better than fine. But still. Stabbed himself. In the heart.

And because he knew he only had a short period of time before the White Star would recover from escaping the seal and be able to fight (and that it'd be worse to fail at the stabbing and have to try again), he did it with no hesitation.

I also keep remembering some of what he said about his own scars. Some of it's the hypocrisy we all know he has, where Mary and Hannah should be able to show their scars proudly... But he considered his disgusting, and always wore long sleeves and covered them. Even if using his Record ability to the point that he overheated.

I think some of that is that he saw his scars as a sign of failure? But he also said something else about them.

However, Cale was quite relieved as he undid his buttons. He could not undo his buttons nor pull up his sleeves in front of his subordinates when he was Kim Rok Soo, no matter how hot and sweaty he became. He didn’t want to show them the scars on his body. It’s not like they were anything to be proud about. It would just scare the people who were doing the same jobs as him.

Cale looked down at his body that was now visible and started to think. ‘…This is nice.’ This body did not have any scars. Even if it did, the Vitality of the Heart would quickly get rid of them. That was good. Scars were records as well. Terrible records. It was better if those disappeared. It would only cause pain to those watching and those nearby as well.

He thought his scars would scare them. Not only that, but he knew they were a reminder that hurt the people around him to see.

(I love our boy, but he has issues).

Probably because it was a reminder that he got hurt protecting them, and not something they'd want him to hide...

But we all know he's dense when it comes to things like that. It does seem like he noticed that they were pained by the scars.

So he chose to hide them.

I think calebab was something similar. He was trying to protect them from that type of pain, and in the process hurt them far worse.

But then again - did he have a duty to tell them? I mean, it's not a good thing to do as a friend, but it was kind of his choice to make...

Well. He did what he did, and he completely failed to hide it, and to there's now a few underlying trust issues that they got a bit too busy in part 2 to really address. Yet.

I suspect it'll come up again at some point though.

Cale: I just want to be a slacker

Also Cale: Proceeds to try to attempt to create world peace, constantly overworks self, puts himself in danger on a regular basis

Right? I'm not sure they'd know the exact details, and perhaps it's just a strong suspicion..

But given how Choi Han and Alberu eventually learn the truth, I think the author has a plan in mind for the Henituse family too.

Actually I suspect something similar with Ron. Not so much that he was told anything, but he was clearly suspicious about Cale's changed behavior in the beginning, and some things in part 2 make me suspect he and Beacrox may soon be in the know.

We'll have to see, though.

Spoiler for part 2

Since Cale took on his young Kim Rok Soo appearance while traveling with Ron and Beacrox to the murim world, and it clearly wasn't simply making Cale look more like a local, it seems like the truth will be out there too

What if, now hear me out, Deruth and Violan know Cale is a transmigrator.

This probably has spoilers for part 1,so I'll put the rest below a cut.

Cale's mother knew that Cale would either be a regressor or a transmigrator, and she starts her diary by asking the reader who it is in her son's body.

Now, it's entirely possible that she kept that secret from her husband, but it's also possible that she told him something...

And in the very beginning we see Deruth note that Cale had changed. And immediately decided to increase the strength of his territory.

Much, much later Duke Fredo came to the Henituse territory and joked about Cale being his son.

Except Violan heard this and reacted... Strangely.

Here:

Choi Han, who had been walking past Violan, subconsciously stopped walking after seeing her hand. Violan’s hand was slightly shaking. Choi Han raised his head to look at her face. Her eyes were so focused on Cale and Duke Fredo as if she didn’t even notice Choi Han looking at her. ‘…Why does she have such an expression-’ It looked as if tens of years were instantly passing through Violan’s face. It was an impossible to explain type of expression. Choi Han found this to be weird because Violan was always flawless with her expressions.

And here:

Choi Han could see Violan’s mouth starting to open. “…Ah. Of course. What delusion-” She let out a short but deep sigh. She seemed to have been shocked by what she just said and flinched before turning her head to look around.

Now, there doesn't seem to be any doubt about Cale's paternity. His mother's ancient power even noted that he looked a bit like Deruth. So why would Violan react so strangely to this?

It's possible that Deruth also said something to Violan, and she was worried this really was Cale's - or rather the transmigrator in Cale's body's - real father.

What do you guys think?